Sex Diaries
Part Twentythree B - Price Check
By Miesque
miesque1973@msn.com

RATING: PG-13 (sexual situations, nudity, etc.)
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season Eight. Luka has long since broken up with Droopy
McHangdog (a.k.a., Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast. Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of 'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight
PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy;
Cheesecake and Whine; Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger Mousetrap; Bless Me,
Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge; Have An Egg Instead; Charity; The Devil Cuts Loose; Toads and
Falsehoods; Ready to Go; Saying Goodbye; Crazy From the Heart; Danger; Forty Black Balloons; Partied Out; Young Men
Coming Aus
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ellen Hursh for editing and several 2AM brain-storming sessions. :)



1:15PM Luka came over and asked me if I'd like to have
dinner cooked for me tonight, at my place. I was only too
happy to agree, as all kinds of horrible thoughts are rushing
through my head. He might be purchased by the Woman of
His Dreams tomorrow night and I'll be left all alone and shall
die and be eaten by dogs.

"What are you making?" I ask.

"I'm not sure. Maybe I'll grill steaks out on your fire escape
and watch the Dave and Steve Show while I work."

"I got them the Venetian blinds," I remind him.

"Oh. Well, I'll still do all the cooking *and* the cleaning. You
can just relax and drink red wine. Indolence and self-
indulgence becomes you." He looks kind of nervous then, and
I ask him what's wrong. "Oh, nothing. Just that the last time
I offered to do that for a woman, she backed out at the last
minute."

What do I look like, a bloody twit? "Well, I won't do that," I
assure him.

"Good," he nods. "Well, I have a few errands to run. Gotta
buy some steaks...and...uh...other stuff."

Other stuff? He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and leaves
in a rush. Wonder what he's planning, but no time to really
wonder, because I'm still backlogged with patients and Crewe
is becoming annoying. Started out nice enough, not causing
many problems, but then he just got terrible. Knocked over an
IV stand and has stepped on my foot *three bloody times*,
so I think 'annoying' is the only approp. term. At least he
hasn't killed anyone yet, but I think I might kill *him* if he
keeps this up.



Luka did his grocery shopping in just a few minutes, took the
steaks home to chill in his refrigerator, then walked four
blocks to the nearest pharmacy. He felt nervous...teenaged
boys can do this nowadays without much trouble, but a forty-
year old man suddenly has heart palpitations and sweaty
palms. He went inside, looked around for a few minutes,
then finally found what he wanted. He stood in front of the
display for a moment, trying to look nonchalant, especially
when an elderly woman walked past him, and when he was
sure no one was looking, he bent down, grabbed a box, and
then went on a speed shopping excursion through the store,
grabbing a bag of potato chips, a Dr. Pepper, a small box of
chocolates, a little glass bottle of maraschino cherries, the
latest issue of 'People' magazine, and a can of salted
peanuts. He was carrying one of those little hand baskets,
and made sure to cover the box with the other items-the
magazine did a pretty good job of *that*. Then he headed
up to the checkout stand and stood behind the same old lady.
It wasn't long before a line formed behind him. He rubbed his
face nervously, becoming more jumpy.

"Sir?" the girl behind the counter said. "Are you ready to
check out?"

"Uh, yeah." The girl couldn't have been more than eighteen.
He emptied the basket on the counter and tried to look cool
and calm. Inside, however, his heart was pounding, his
stomach was churning, and he felt a bit light-headed.

The girl rang up each item, running the little bar code thing
under the scanner. Then she seemed to be having trouble
with the box. *The* box. Oh God. Before he could stop her,
the girl was turning on the store PA system. "Charlie, I need
a price check on a box of Extra Large UltraFeel latex
condoms...in black."

Luka wished he had the power to make himself invisible.
Everybody was staring at him now, but Luka figured it was
because they thought he was some kind of pervert.
Then 'Charlie' boomed back over the PA system. "Lubricated
or ultrasensitive?"

"Ultrasensitive," she answered.

"That'd be seven-fifty, plus tax," 'Charlie' told her.

She rang up the sale, totaled it, and Luka handed her a fifty.
He almost forgot to get the change back, then turned and
looked back at the curious crowd looking at him. He tried to
speak, but no words would come, so he finally grabbed the
bag, turned, and fled.

"Too bad he won't be spreading those genes around," the old
lady said with a giggle.



Luka's nervousness had finally disappeared by the time he
arrived at Alexandra's apartment. He had bought some really
nice beef steaks, and was looking forward to tonight...for
various reasons. It was the right time, dammit. He just
hoped he'd be able to make it through the meal without
grabbing her and taking her right there on the table.

"Hi," she said, opening the door and smiling. "You're early."

"Oh..." He flushed. "I'm sorry. Want me to drive around for
a few more minutes?"

"No, silly, I'm joking. Come on in. Let me see what you've
got in this bag, hmm?"

He sidestepped her, not wanting her to see what else was in
the bag, besides the steaks. That would come later. If he
could restrain himself, that is. "Just steaks," he lied. "And
some potatoes."

"Ah. I turned the grill on, so it's all ready. I assume you
know what you're doing?"

He pretended to look insulted. "Of course I do!"

"Good. I'll get the table set...oh, you brought wine!" He
pulled the bottle out, and grinned at her.

"Yeah, red wine. Good year, too. Shall we make a toast
first?"

"Definitely," she laughed. He followed her into the kitchen
and set the bag on the table. She peeked at it again, but he
slapped her hand away.

"Naughty girl!"

"I'm curious!"

"Curiosity killed the cat," Luka reminded her. He snuck up
behind her as she opened the wine bottle and kissed her
neck. She sighed happily and slipped her arms back around
his neck. He slid his hands up until they were just below her
breasts.

"Mmm...a little further up, doctor," she sighed. He was happy
to oblige her, gently squeezing her breasts, lazily rubbing his
thumbs on her nipples, growling in frustration because she
was still fully dressed, and she leaned back against him. She
turned her head and he kissed her, sucking on her lower lip
just long enough to get her crazy. Then he pulled away.

"Need to get those steaks on the grill," he said briskly. "But
first, the toast."

"Mm...yes. What shall we toast to?"

He poured her a glass, then poured one for
himself. "Ah...possibilities?"

"To possibilities," she said, a wicked glint in her eyes. If only
she knew, Luka thought. He sipped his wine, grinning to see
her toss hers back. He stepped forward and gave her
another lusty kiss.

"All right, sexy knickers," he said. "Those steaks *still* have
to be grilled."

She giggled and followed him out on to the fire escape,
where her little hibachi was set up. Luka opened it, was
pleased to see that it was hot enough-the coals glowing very
nicely-and began laying the steaks on the grill. She had put
two chairs out there, and a little plastic table suitable for
carrying grilling equipment, and they sat together, talking, as
the steaks grilled. He got up sometimes to check them, and
asked her how she liked hers. "Medium well."

"Yeah, me too. Still can't understand how somebody can eat
them any other way."

"Oh, I should warn you. My 'uncle' Beaconsfield is coming to
Chicago soon. He's not really my uncle, though.
He's...uh...an old friend of the family."

"Gooses you a lot, huh?"

"Has been known to."

"Yeah. I know the type."

"Yes. You're the type, too. Though I regret to say you don't
goose me nearly enough!"

"You want me to goose you, Alexandra?"

"Whatever suits your fancy," she said with a wicked grin. He
pulled her to her feet and goosed her properly, which resulted
in him being goosed as well.

"Hey! There're people watching!"

"Not like we can put Venetian blinds on my fire escape,
hmm?" she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and
tilting her head back to look up at him. He glanced down and
saw that Dave and Steve's window was indeed properly
covered.

"Yeah. True. I think these steaks are about done. Let's get
back inside."

"Okay." She climbed back through the window and a few
moments later took the plate from his hands, admiring the
succulent steaks. "Mm...these look great!"

"Yeah. They do, don't they?"

They sat down at her table and she watched him light two red
candles. "Very romantic," she said with a laugh. She poured
herself another glass of wine and sipped it quietly. He sat
opposite her, and nodded for her to check her steak. "Is it
how you like it?"

"Oh, yes. Perfect," she smiled. "Now...tell me what else is in
that bag, Luka. Or I shall stab you with my fork?"

"Uh...some chocolates, of course."

"Mm-hmm."

"And...uh...potato chips..."

"Potato chips?"

"Well, yeah..."

"And what else?"

"Uh..."

"What is it? I must know!"

"Wait 'til after we're finished eating."

"Luka, you are so cruel!"

"I think you'll like them, anyway."

She drummed her fingers on the table, and he gave her a
stern glare. "Eat your steak, young lady, or you'll never find
out what else is in that bag!"

Alexandra gave him a prim smile, then began cutting up her
steak, eating eagerly. "No use rushing," he told
her. "Besides, you told me you can go very slowly."

Her eyebrows raised and she stared at him. "Well, now, I'm
*very* curious."

"You'll find out soon enough. Eat. I'm almost finished, by the
way." He was eating a little faster than usual. He hoped he
wouldn't go as fast later. He swallowed nervously, thinking
about his seduction technique. It wasn't like he was an expert
at it or anything. He and Danijela had been...well...nervous
wrecks on their wedding night, but things had gone well. He
had learned how to be romantic with her, and as far as he
knew his methods had been pretty sure-fire. Then, with
Savannah, it hadn't involved much seduction. Just lust and
overwhelming need. Then Abby...which hadn't been
seduction, either. More like making love to a piece of meat.
Maybe it was because she had made all the first moves-it had
taken his heart out of it. For Luka, a typical European male,
he had always preferred to be the pursuer, not the pursuee.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"You really want to know?"

She bit her lip, and then smiled and nodded. "Yes."

"I was thinking...thinking about...uh..."

"Yes?"

"Staying here tonight."

She swallowed and blinked. "Really?"

He nodded.

"So does this have anything to do with what's in that bag on
my kitchen counter?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you bring the bikini in a can?" she asked him eagerly.

"Yep."

"And...uh...other...uh...equipment?" Her voice was hushed,
her eyes wide.

For some reason, that made him start laughing. "Yes. In
fact, buying that other 'equipment' was an act of pure
heroism on my part. Bloody humiliating."

"What happened?" she asked breathlessly.

"PA system price check," he said dryly. She burst into
laughter.

"You're kidding!"

"The things you do for love," Luka said with a shy smile.
Then he realized what he'd said. *Love*. She was staring at
him, her mouth hanging open just a little.

"You...I mean...do you...?"

"If it's not love I must be crazy. I've checked my temperature
several times, took antibiotics for a week...and I still feel the
same way."

"Need you be so clinical in your approach?" she said
seriously.

"I'm sorry. But...uh...Alexandra, I'm just kind of...well, I'm
not good at this, okay? I'm really kind of a twit when it comes
to this. But yes, Alex. I do. I love you. And I'm not just
saying that to get you into bed. Though if that's what ends up
happening it'll be a pretty nice side benefit."

She giggled. "Nice?"

"*Spectacular*. Do you...uh...I mean, do you feel that way
about me at all? I mean, I'm not much. I...uh...there's better
looking guys out there, and younger, and..."

"Luka, I adore you."

"But do you love me?" he asked, his heart pounding.

"Yes."

"Then say it!"

"I love you!" she laughed. "I do. I think I fell in love with you
on the elevator...when I'd forgotten my purse. You were so
sweet to me...didn't laugh at me or act like I was a brainless
git. Nobody has ever treated me so well." She
blushed. "And it was so sweet of you to wait...to make it the
right time."

"Is it the right time?"

"There couldn't be a better time!"

Luka stood up, and she watched as he made his way to the
kitchen, grabbing the bag. She burst into laughter when he
took out the box of condoms and the can of whipped cream.
But she stopped laughing when he came back to her side and
scooped her up into his arms. She took the box and the can
from him and wreathed her arms around his neck and kissed
him deeply. "I love you."

"I love you...te volim."

"Te volim," she sighed happily. "Now take me to bed!"



Luka woke up some time during the night, and felt vaguely
disoriented for a moment. Then he remembered where he
was...and who he was with. He rose up onto his elbow and
looked at Alexandra, who was asleep on her belly, her face
turned toward him. She was quite simply the most beautiful
creature in the world to him...and possibly the most
insatiable. Their lovemaking had been passionate,
hungry...noisy and loving. It had been as he'd imagined,
except only a hundred times better-he felt refreshed and
fulfilled in every possible way. He loved the way she'd felt
underneath him, the way she tasted, the way she sounded...
He had left the lights on, just so he could see her face when
she came...so he could see everything.

Perhaps it was a little arrogant of him, but he felt pretty good
about his own performance. She had gasped something
about feeling 'dizzy' several times, and he knew she wasn't
faking any of her orgasms...Alexandra was far too open and
straightforward for *that*. He had made her come several
times, and had delighted in seeing her so happy. Of course,
she had made him happy quite a few times herself. That one
time in particular, he had been sure the top of his head was
going to come off...God, he was getting aroused again.

"Hey," he whispered, nudging her gently.

She lifted her head and smiled sleepily. "Hi."

He ran his fingers through her hair for a moment, marveling
at the silkiness of it. Alexandra rolled onto her back, pushing
the sheets away. He exhaled at the sight of her naked body,
then looked up at her face. She was smiling at him, reaching
up to touch his face. "Feeling horny again, beba?" she asked,
using his Croatian term of endearment.

"Uh...yeah..."

"So'm I," she said, still sleepy. "I was having the most
*delicious* dream about you."

"Really?" he asked, nuzzling her neck, then making his way
down to her breasts.

"Yes. Ummm...I like that," she sighed as he positioned
himself between her thighs. "Ooo...don't stop..."

"I have no intention of stopping," he whispered against her
skin, noting that she was still sweet and sticky from her
whipped cream 'bikini'. "I may have to find some way to
make love to you all the time."

"Oh, that'd be lovely," she sighed, wrapping her arms and
legs around him. "Just lovely..."



2 October, 2001

9:15AM Ahh...

Just had, without a doubt, the very best sex a woman has
ever had in the history of mankind. Last night shall go down
in history. Simply wonderful...amazing. I'm still even a tad
dizzy. I am in love, he loves me...couldn't help but sing in the
shower...especially since Luka was in the shower with
me, 'helping' me wash. Not that he really helped much.
Ended up back in bed again, and afterwards he returned to
the shower. I couldn't resist putting on his shirt, then headed
into the kitchen to start breakfast.

Such a lovely fall day. Perhaps I'll ask Luka to go for a
morning walk (after we make love a few more times, as
today we both are off work). Perhaps an afternoon walk. Or
a late afternoon walk, depending on how much energy we
both have by then. Then I remember tonight is the bloody
bachelor auction. But I feel much more confident, as he has
declared he loves me and Luka is no bloody liar, so shall grin
and bear it. May need to take up a new hobby tonight,
though. Knitting. Macrame. Serial killing. Anything to my
get mind off the idea of my boyfriend-my love-out with
another woman. Have feeling the bidding will start high and
go higher. Sigh.

9:25AM Breakfast ready, calling Luka out to join me. He yells
something about the 'damned hot water not working', so rush
in to see what's wrong. Gah, doorbell!

10:15AM Uncle Beaconsfield. Dear God, this is awful. I'm
standing there in Luka's shirt and Uncle Beaconsfield is staring
at my chest as though it contains all the secret treasures of
the world. I was in throes of orgasm less than an hour ago,
so know I'm not exactly looking demure and proper.

"Hello, lassie, and how are you?" he says, looking down at my
legs. Practically *leering* at me, the bloody pervert.

"I'm fine, Uncle Breastf-...Beaconsfield. Uh...come in. Mum
called and said you'd be in town...why didn't you call, I would
have bought you dinner or something."

"Alexandra, I thought you were going to buy some shampoo I
could use..." Luka has emerged from my bedroom, hair still
wet, wearing my terrycloth bathrobe. Looks dead sexy and so
adorable, but the fact that he's wearing my bathrobe makes it
quite obvious to Breastfiend that Luka and I have been having
Sex and Breastfiend looks at me, then at Luka, speechless for
the first time in his life.

"Uh..." Luka looks v. uncomfortable.

"Luka. This is my uncle...uh...well, not my uncle, really,
but...Nigel Breas-...Beaconsfield, this is my...uh...boyfriend,
Dr. Luka Kovac."

"Ah, the Croatian fellow," Breastfiend says, lunging past me to
shake Luka's hand.

"Yes."

Long, uncomfortable silence. Then Luka looks at me,
widening eyes a bit, and I shrug. What can I do? I think that
any further plans for Wild Sex and Romantic Walks are out.
Must instead feed breakfast to Uncle Breastfiend. Luka,
however, is v. sweet. In kitchen, he says he loves me and
that he'll stay if I want him to, just to keep Uncle Breastfiend
from goosing me. Tell him he can go once I get dressed, and
he gives me v. affectionate kiss and hug. "It'll be all right.
Wear frumpy clothes and put curlers in your hair and I'm sure
he won't make a move."

Perhaps not best to tell him that Uncle Breastfiend would
make Move on dead woman in a ditch. Going to be a bloody
awful day. And there's still that horrible auction tonight!

To be continued...