9Sex Diaries
Part Thirty - Gumballs and Gurneys
By Miesque
miesque1973@msn.com

RATING: PG-13 (mild language)
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season Eight. Luka has long since broken up with Droopy McHangdog (a.k.a., Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast. Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of 'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight
PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy; Cheesecake and Whine; Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger Mousetrap; Bless Me, Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge; Have An Egg Instead; Charity; The Devil Cuts Loose; Toads and Falsehoods; Ready to Go; Saying Goodbye; Crazy From the Heart; Danger; Forty Black Balloons; Partied Out; Young Men Coming Aus; Price Check; Going Once...; Check, Please; Eighteen Patients and a Dozen Roses; Life Is Good; A Handful of Pebbles; The Horror...the Horror
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ellen Hursh for editing and several 2AM brain-storming sessions. :)



3 November 2001

9:15AM Arrived at work *early* and feeling v. good. Johnny has
departed for California and Aunt Elaine's. Relieved to be rid of him
but miss him a bit, too. He made Luka v. uncomfortable last night.
Am having dinner w/ Luka tonight and am quite nervous about that, as I
know he'll be telling me a lot about his past. Just what sort of past
he has, I don't quite know. Almost afraid to know. Sitting in
lounge, scribbling away here in my journal and doing best *not* to
look at 'Brides' magazine.

Am a bloody wreck now. Really ought not to think about it. But can't
help but think about it.
Know he loves me. Know I love him. Now it's time for Major
Discussion About Our Future Together. All the usual questions: Is Our
Love Strong Enough to Endure Trials and Tests? Is He Willing to
Commit and Set Wedding Date? Am I Slowly Losing My Mind? V. possible
about last question. Luka working today but have not seen him yet.
Will not be working on his team today, which is actually a good idea
because I think I might explode. Or at least take him right there on
the trauma table, which I think might be a tad inappropriate.

9:30AM Oh God, thinking about sex again. Haven't been with Luka
since night before Hallowe'en! Ugh. Really difficult to sleep alone
now. Miss him dreadfully. Getting all...umm...oh, never mind. God,
I'm think I'm addicted to him, far worse than I am to chocolate. It's
either love or serious obsession. But I know what love looks like.
Know what it feels like, and what it does to people. I have turned
into a complete *loon* lately and quite entertaining for Jing-Mei, who
had to yell my name to get my attention, as I was daydreaming about
something Luka and I did a few nights ago...oof, time to get to work!

11:15AM Run, run, run. Old homeless man threw up all over me.
Nothing like projectile vomiting to brighten up your day. Took shower
and changed into scrubs, seeing no use in changing into spare outfit
(Hooray! Have finally Gained Responsibility and am actually bringing
extra clothes to work! Luka *is* having a good influence on me, must
say). Saw Luka in hall, being forced to literally tackle psychotic
teenager. Where is security when you need them? He caught up with me
a while later and told me that when he was a kid, he and his brother
used to do battle with recalcitrant cattle. "We'd grab an ear and
*twist*...they'd stand perfectly still for the vet. Too bad I wasn't
allowed to do the same with that guy's sixteen earrings."

12:28PM Waiting for psych consult. Woman told me, with totally
straight face: "I woke up, showered, brushed my teeth, combed my hair
and went out to do my errands...I just don't know why all those people
in that Wal-Mart were so upset." Sounds like me in another fifty
years. Poor lady. Informed Dr. DeRaad that she is *not* crazy or
dangerous, merely in need of some kind of medication and some
kindness. And some clothes.

1:15PM So tired. Was kicked in the stomach by angry pregnant woman
as we took her up to OB. She sent down message of abject apology to
me and I suppose I forgive her. But stomach still hurting, and
somewhat bruised. Luka will *not* like that. He already thinks I
take too much abuse as it is, but I am *determined* to get that
attending position and thus I must work long hours and be kicked and
vomited on and yelled at *a lot*.

1:25PM Gurney wheel rolled over big toe (gurney loaded w/ v. large
man that looked great deal like a walrus, wearing what I think was a
naugahyde couch cover). Sitting in exam room, Dave waiting on X-rays.
 Ugh. Ouch, ouch, ouch! Toe may be broken.

1:45PM Toe broken. Augh! Means missed days!!! How can this happen
to me?! I suppose it's true. One part of your life starts going
perfectly well (sweet boyfriend who loves me) and everything else goes
down crapper (my career delayed because of a bloody broken toe)! Am
so upset. Broke down and sobbed in front of Dave, who tried to
comfort me, which was v. sweet of him. That is, he seemed v.
unsettled by sight of me sobbing and blubbering, but did his best to
be nice. Lots of "There theres" and "Now nows".

2:15PM Dr. Weaver comes in and tells me to go home, that she'll try
to work out a schedule for me once I'm well enough to work again. Am
still in tears. Ask her how long it might be 'til I'm able to walk
again, and she looks a bit uncertain. "Maybe three weeks. I really
don't know, Dr. Morgan...it was a proximal fracture of the toe, so it
will take some time to heal."

Three weeks?! That's almost a month of sitting on my butt, my foot
elevated, being doted on by sweet gorgeous boyfriend. Perhaps it
wouldn't be so bad, but it does put a hold on my ambitions for
attending position by New Year's. I suppose I can wait 'til end of
January.

3:30PM Home. Eating Twiglets and crying, watching "General
Hospital". Who *are* these people? Luke and Laura...are they
married, divorced, separated, shacking up, replaced by flesh-eating
androids from the planet Zarnak? Got out old tapes of "Keeping Up
Appearances" and "Coronation Street" and am getting v. drowsy. Shall
take a nap. Think pain pills taking eff [4:55PM Hmph, dozed off
while writing]

4:55PM Phone ringing. Luka. Coming by with tea and sympathy, as he
put it. "Is the tea drugged?" I asked him, still v. sleepy.

6PM Luka at door, insisted on me staying on couch. Brought Chinese
food w/ chopsticks, and sat w/ me for a while, massaging my good foot,
which is *so* sweet of him. Told him about fact that I shall have to
wait 'til January to apply for attending position. He only smiled at
me and fed me curry beef, my favorite (!!) with chopsticks and I quite
perked up. He carried me over to table and we sat for a long time,
him telling me about his day, which was almost as horrible as *mine*.
Psycho teenager attacked nurse with a concealed knife, he had another
run-in with Carter, who refused to listen to orders and almost killed
a patient. "I'm getting to the point of sneaking up behind him and
snapping his suspenders," Luka told me with a chuckle. "But I'm too
old for that, so I let Jing-Mei do it instead. But hey, my day wasn't
too bad. No bones broken. How are you feeling, beba?"

"Mmm...better," I tell him, snuggling into his lap. He is still
feeding me, using chopsticks v. expertly. "But I know you wanted to
talk to me about...about Vukovar and..."

"Yes." His face tenses, and he puts his arms around my waist.
"I...uh...do need to talk to you about that, and then we need to
discuss other things."

"Okay," I whisper. "Tell me about it."

He tells me the whole story, and chills still going down my spine.
Truly horrifying, and I was in tears afterward. So was he, really.
His poor wife and babies...taken away from him and murdered...and he
had to watch it happen. "It was hell when our apartment was shelled.
But I thought they'd be safe when I moved them to the hospital. You
never think an army is going to invade a hospital and take patients
away to kill them...you never think...but that's what happened and I
had to watch my wife and my children..."

After that, Luka was taken to Bosnia with other doctors. I think
perhaps he *can't* remember some of the things that happened to him
there. But he was tortured frequently and starved, turned into a
bloody *slave*. "I was in a state of shock for so long. I didn't
feel anything. And then I started feeling things and got my heart
broken again, so I went back to numbness for so long. I had a
dead-end affair with a woman who treated me like garbage and I figured
that was what I deserved. That it was my lot in life. Alexandra, I
hope you understand. I hope you realise that it's *chronic*. I have
PTSD and cycles of dysthymia that are going to make life with me
pretty difficult. If you want out now, I won't hold it against you."

"Why would I leave you? You don't just abandon someone when they're
down. You don't decide you dislike someone just because they're
depressed and are having a run of bad luck...that's just *shallow* and
extremely cruel. I would be a bloody coward if I did that. I'm a lot
of things, but I'm no coward, and I won't leave you." My heart was
pounding while I said this. "My heart is yours." I've never said
that to anyone before. But it's true. It's hopeless. I'm hooked.

I kissed his tears away and hugged him so tight I think I may have
broken a couple of ribs. He laughed softly and said, "I suppose
that'll make us even." He looks right into my eyes. "I love you."

Such an intense stare. Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed by him.
Overwhelmed, but not controlled. Strange how he actually gives me my
head, lets me think for myself, even when I do something stupid and
appear to have the reasoning skills and common sense of a rodeo clown.
 There is a power in him that I've never seen in anyone else before.
"I haven't felt so good... so *normal* in years," he says with that
self-mocking tone of his. "You're making my life so good. Chaotic and
often rather confusing, but so good."

"Am I that confusing to you?"

"Yeah. But...uh...I hope you'll be clear after I ask you this
question. That there'll be no doubt in my mind..."

My heart started pounding then.

"Yes?"

"Alexandra, a couple of years ago somebody told me I'd find someone
again. And she was right-I've finally found you...and I can't imagine
living without you..."

I made a strange little "eep" sound and became lightheaded.

"Will you marry me?"

9:30PM Woke up in my bed, a bit dizzy. I *fainted*! I bloody
fainted before I could answer him! And I owe Johnny fifty dollars!
Scramble out of bed and limp (keeping broken toe from touching ground)
into living room, where Luka is reading a medical textbook.

"Hi."

"Oh, hey. Are you all right? I've never seen somebody faint so
quickly. One minute you were wide awake, next thing I know you're
spread-eagled on the floor...looking very lovely and tempting. But
you did a very nice job fainting. It was very Victorian and
dramatic."

Oh, so *that's* why my blouse is undone. "I'm so sorry...you mean I
*swooned*?"

"Ah...yes. I couldn't find any smelling salts. I was thinking of
using a dirty sock, but you had already done all the laundry,
so...besides...well, hell, the fainting spell wasn't *your* fault."
He stood up and insisted on picking me up and carrying me back to the
couch. We sit, me in his lap, arms around his neck.
"So...umm...what's your answer?"

"My answer?" I tease.

"Yeah. You do remember the question, don't you?"

"Umm..."

"Alexandra!"

"Oh well, I don't have anything better to do with the rest of my
life."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel good!"

"Yes, Luka, I'll marry you."

"When?"

"Today?"

He laughed. "I think perhaps a brief engagement would be a good idea.
 Maybe...a few weeks, at least."

"Okay."

"I mean, I don't see any reason for a *long* engagement. Except, of
course, the fact that you'll probably want a big elaborate wedding,
right?"

"I don't need a big elaborate wedding. I would insist on a religious
ceremony. Or, at least, Mum would. Which I don't mind. Involving at
least two bishops and possibly the Archbishop of Canterbury, possible
television coverage, at least one minor member of the royal family..."

He chuckled. "I don't think we can afford *that*."

"Well, that's not important right now. I'd much prefer we go to bed."
 I start undoing the buttons on his shirt, but he stops me.

"Alexandra, are you sure you want to do this? I've said before that
I'm no great catch. I..."

"Luka Kovac, I would marry you *tomorrow*! Now stop with this
foolishness about not being a good catch! You're not perfect, but
you're perfect for me and that's all I care about. Now let's go to
bed!"

He looked at me for a moment, licking his lips, then grinned at me.
"You really are crazy aren't you?"

"I'm crazy about you."

That made him laugh, and he kissed me. Then he picked me up and
carried me to bed.

4:15AM Luka asleep, quite exhausted. So happy and satisfied, really
quite smug about what I did to him tonight. I believe he lost
consciousness at least twice. Gah, 'phone!

4:55AM Was Dad. Ugh. Not a great idea, answering the phone with
"Dr. Alexandra Morgan, Wanton Sex Goddess." Dad asks me how I'm
doing-at least he didn't ask me *who* I was doing!- and I decide that
perhaps it's not best to inform him *now* that I'm officially engaged
to become Mrs. Luka Kovac in the not-too-distant future-or that I just
had Hot Sex with him and he is now sound asleep beside me, a slightly
smug smile on his face. Will save that for later. Dad tells me that
Johnny called w/ good report re: Luka and that Luka has been
'accepted' into the cult and that all the Morgans v. excited for me.
Only problem is that Luka is a Catholic and our family has been
Protestant since 1500's and many were burned at the stake by Bloody
Mary. Only relative who might go bonkers at the idea is my cousin
Frederick, who is a curate. Shall simply not invite Frederick to the
wedding. He reminds me a great deal of that vicar-Mr. Collins-in
"Pride and Prejudice", only twice as stupid and shallow. 98% of
religious people v. nice and easy to get along with ("Love thy
neighbour as thyself"). But the remaining 2% give the other 98% a bad
name and it's a bloody shame.

"So how are you, sweetheart? Is everything all right?"

"Just fine, Dad." Scrambled out of bed, trying to find bathrobe.
Knew Dad was on the phone and across half a Continent and an entire
ocean, but still can't talk on telephone w/ him while naked. Hard
enough talking to him post-coitally.

"Is this a good man, Goosey? Does he treat you well?"

"He's wonderful, Dad."

"Good, good."

"I did break my toe, though. So my attending position is kind of up
in the air. I won't be able to apply for 'til the end of January now,
since I'm going to miss possibly two weeks."

"How did you break your toe?"

"Gurney rolled over it. Kind of crushed it."

Long silence, then Dad says, "He's there, isn't he?"

"Who?"

"Tony Slattery," he says sarcastically. "Luka, silly!"

"Oh...umm..."

"Alexandra." He sounds v. disappointed in me. He has not adjusted to
the fact that I have had sex before and will be having frequent sex
from now on. I think Dad still thinks I play with Barbie dolls and
wear saddle shoes and white socks and attend children's parties where
I get punch all over my dress and end up naked in wading pool.

"Dad...please."

"Well, I suppose I should get used to this."

"Yes. You should, Dad."

"Do you love him?"

I look at Luka, who has rolled onto his side and is groping for me.
Finds the pillow and hugs it, muttering in his sleep. "I adore him,
Dad. He's The One." Got all misty-eyed.

"All right. Just so long as you're happy, Goosey."

"I am. I'm very happy."

We say goodbye and I climb back into bed with Luka. He hugs me
fiercely, mumbles something in Croatian, and we fall asleep.



4 November 2001

7:05AM Catching up on charts, watching Luka dress. "We'll need to
look for an engagement ring," he tells me.

"Nothing expensive," I tell him. Never liked flashy jewellery. Big
diamonds always make me think of Barbara Cartland (shall never forget
Tony Slattery's 'hoedown' song where he called her a 'fascist cow').
"I'm not a big jewellery person anyway."

"So you'd be satisfied with something I got out of a gumball machine?"

"If I got it from *you*, I would be very satisfied," I tell him.
"Something very simple would be very nice."

"Okay. We'll go ring-shopping later. I've got to go to work." He
bent down and gave me a sound kiss goodbye. "Why don't you let me
cook dinner tonight?"

"Oh? I was thinking of trying my recipe for beef Stroganoff."

He looked at me for a moment, and I swear I saw panic in his eyes.
Not a good feeling when your lover turns green at the mere *mention*
of your cooking. "Umm...well...ah...hey, don't take this the wrong
way, beba, but have you ever thought about taking cooking classes at
the community college?"

I threw a pillow at him. He just laughed and left. As if I could
take cooking classes. Last time I tried that, the water damage from
the fire department's efforts rang up to a grand total of $20,000,
besides smoke damage and a slightly singed cooking teacher. Perhaps I
will let him do the cooking. Meanwhile, if he's too tired to cook, I
am *very* adept at dialing the Chinese takeaway, or Domino's.

8:15AM Gah. Have nothing to do. Luka v. firm about me staying on my
back with my foot elevated. But not much fun being on my back without
him on *top*. Sigh. If it weren't for my broken toe I would be doing
the Happy Dance right now. Am *engaged*. Flipping through 'Brides'
magazine and am appalled at prices for wedding gowns. Perhaps a
simple elopement would do best.

9:20AM Turtles making way across living room, Harold screaming for
food. I have to take pain medicine, which makes me goofy and even a
bit weepy, for some reason. Get up and give Harold food and water,
and have nice long chat with the turtles, who agree that a Christian
Dior wedding dress is *much* too expensive. Gave them the page with
the dress and they *do* agree that it's fun to try and eat it.

9:45AM Wdng drsses all ridulus and cnt belef anyone would pay tht
much for one of thse giant *tents*. Also strg article re: leg waxing
and hornymon contri... contrax... concep... contrav... getting knocked
up, whc are unrealted. Ugh...cannt think mst slep.



Luka came back to Alexandra's apartment at six and found her sound
asleep on the couch, still wearing only her bathrobe. He checked her
pulse and breathing, just to be sure all was well, and everything was
normal. The turtles were chewing on what appeared to be a glossy
photograph of a woman wearing a ridiculously priced wedding dress, and
Harold the canary was singing the same tune, over and over again.

He gathered his fiancee up into his arms, carried her to her bed, and
tucked her in. "Poor baby," he said, smiling at her. He took out the
tiny plastic ring he'd bought from the Pediatrics floor waiting room
gumball machine (it had taken about two dollars worth of quarters
before he'd finally got one of those little bubble things with a ring
inside) and slipped it on her finger. She made a purring sound,
opened her eyes briefly and smiled goofily. "Hi!"

"Hey, beba."

"Where's Big Bird?"

That made Luka pause a moment. "Uh...he couldn't come."

"Oh, darn. He said he was coming...he was gonna bring Mr.
Snuffalupaga...Snuffafugabugus...and Tweety Bird. I left my car at the
cleaners. Can you go pick it up for me?"

"Sure."

"You're so sweet...so cute..."

"Uh-huh. How many pain pills did you take?"

"Jus' one!"

"Okay. Did you eat anything?"

"Mmm...crackers and some watermelon."

"When?"

"Dunno."

"Go back to sleep and later on I'll wake you up and feed you some
supper, okay? Meanwhile, I think I'll have the dosage reduced on your
prescription."

"'kay. Love you..."

"Yes, I love you too."

"Can we have sex later?"

"If you're a good girl."

"Mmm..." She smiled sweetly, curled up and tucked her head into her
pillow, sighed, and drifted back into a deep sleep. He sat beside her
for a while, watching her, amazed. This sweet, goofy, crazy woman was
about as close to heaven as he figured he'd ever get. He kissed her
forehead, turned the lights off and went out to start supper.

To be continued...