9Sex Diaries
Part Thirtyone - It's Not the Flu
By Miesque
miesque1973@msn.com

RATING: PG-13 (mild language)
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season Eight. Luka has long since broken up with Droopy
McHangdog (a.k.a., Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast. Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of 'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight
PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy;
Cheesecake and Whine; Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger Mousetrap; Bless Me,
Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge; Have An Egg Instead; Charity; The Devil Cuts Loose; Toads and
Falsehoods; Ready to Go; Saying Goodbye; Crazy From the Heart; Danger; Forty Black Balloons; Partied Out; Young Men
Coming Aus; Price Check; Going Once...; Check, Please; Eighteen Patients and a Dozen Roses; Life Is Good; A Handful
of Pebbles; The Horror...the Horror; Gumballs and Gurneys
AUTHORTS NOTE: Thanks to Ellen Hursh for editing and several 2AM brain-storming sessions. :)



18 December 2001

10:15AM Have the flu. So bloody sick. Throwing up all
morning, but strangely not coughing or up lungs and sneezing
like I usually do when I have the flu, which is v. strange. Luka
also queasy and says he figures it was something he ate last
night, which I didn't appreciate as *I* did the cooking. Luka
rather grumpy this AM and sat in the kitchen reading the
newspaper (headline "Man Bites Monkey" did little to improve
condition of stomach) while I tried to make breakfast. Almost
always results in something burning, which he accepts as
matter of course. This time it was the eggs I tried to fry. I
did *try*. He made me sit down and fixed breakfast instead,
and feel pretty grouchy now because he is a good cook.

Still have to go to work, tho' I feel wretched. Luka insisted I
at least eat something, but I promptly threw it up before I
could even get out the door. He watched me for a moment, a
strange look on his face, and then insisted on taking my
temperature. No fever at all. V. odd.

Strange living arrangements we have. I am not living w/
Luka, but I stay at his flat almost every night. It *is* closer to
work, and I am taking extra shifts to make up for lost time
when I broke my toe, but I am not really his Live In Lover.
But I am his fiancee, tho' no one knows yet, not even Mum &
Dad. Haven't told them at all, and it's only a eight days 'til
Christmas. Which reminds me...have to do Christmas
shopping! Augh!

Am thinking of asking Luka if I can bring Harold and the turtles
to his place and see how they get along with Jakko. That
might be a bold move on my part. Not sure if he wants to live
with me before marriage, though we essentially *do* live
together. We haven't even set a date yet. Which makes me
a bit nervous. By end of January I'll know if I can stay in
Chicago and become an attending. Until then, am on pins and
needles regarding both the engagement and the attending
position. If I'm an attending by end of January, I wonder if
perhaps we can have the wedding in early spring. If I'm not
an attending...then what?

Gah, gotta get back to loo! Stomach doing v. interesting
things right now.

11:45AM Jing-Mei says I look like I've been ridden hard and
put up wet, which is just about true. Strange that last night I
wasn't even in the Mood, and neither was Luka. Wonder if
perhaps I am not attractive to him any more. That, for some
reason, gets me into serious Crying Jag and I end up in a stall
in the ladies room, crying eyes out. Dr. Weaver knocked on
the door and asked if I was all right and I think I mumbled
something like "Imf ooing ait" and burst into tears again.
Have been rather emotional last few days, but figure it's
PMS. Look bloody awful.

12:15PM Fifteen year old girl with something in her ear,
shrieking at top of lungs and giving me headache. Checked
ear and...dear God, it was a cockroach. Took quite a while to
get it out and am *amazed* that the creature was still alive!
(Not for long, of course) Ewww...back to loo. So bloody tired,
took brief break in lounge, lying on back and keeping cold
compress to forehead, hoping that vomiting spell is *over*,
as there's nothing left in stomach to spit up.
Luka came in, looking v. haggard, and sat down w/ me and
gave me a little hug and kiss. Such a sweet man, but he
looks like someone has been beating him all day. Eyes a bit
watery, sniffling, coughing. *He* has a bad cold. What the
bloody hell have I got?!

1:30PM Crying jag again, then got knocked on ass by Hell's
Angel with *teeny* little splinter in his thumb. Acting as
though he were dying, the wuss. I didn't cry 'til I was in the
lounge, and then Dr. Weaver came in and asked me how I
was doing. Told her I feel awful. "Do you have any fever,
aching limbs, coughing...?"

"No."

"Dr. Morgan...uh...have you considered taking a pregnancy
test?"

"Oh, posh...I can't be pregnant!"

"Well, you and Luka are...I mean...that's none of my
business. I'm sorry. But perhaps you should consider it. Just
to be on the safe side, before you take any medications."

Am totally flummoxed, and in total Denial, even now. Which
of course means that the test came back positive. I'm
pregnant. Preggers. Knocked up. Eating for two.
Examination confirms it 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
and I'm currently lying in an exam room, wearing one of
those embarrassing little backless gowns. Ultrasound was
*so* strange. Tiny little heart beating in my tummy...
swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. Boy or girl? Dark-haired, most
likely. Blue eyes or green? Slavic cheekbones? Nice chin,
hopefully. Good chins run in my family, too. Am approx. ten
weeks pregnant, which means I conceived some time
in...hmm...need to search through diary.

1:35PM Oh my God! Oh my GOD! We made this baby in a
*linen closet*?! I knew we had forgotten something.

1:45PM Well, at least the sex was good. V. good. Damn,
nurse coming back.

2:15PM Back to work, feeling much calmer. Not sure how I'll
tell Luka. But I'm two months pregnant with his baby.
Implications quite big. What if he doesn't want kids so soon?
What if I get fat and ugly and turn into Screaming Bitch from
Hell during this pregnancy? What if I get sick? What if I lose
the baby? What if I become an obsessed lunatic and try to
stab him to death in the bath...oh, that's already been
done. "Fatal Attraction". Except now it's "Fetal Attraction"
and my punning abilities are tapped.

3:30PM Off work early, at Dr. Weaver's insistence. I ask her
to be honest-had she *noticed* any changes in me? She
shrugs. "You have seemed a bit off lately. At first, I figured it
was due to all the stress and extra hours. But you've taken
extra hours before and it didn't seem to have any ill effects,
so...yes. I started to suspect something last week, actually.
Have you told Luka?"

"Do I *have* to?"

"Well, it's either now or when the kid graduates from
Columbia," Dr. Weaver laughs. "I think he has every right to
know."

Columbia? My son is going to Oxford!

What am I gonna say? "Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant. Pass
the peas." ? That would certainly make for v. interesting
dinner conversation and phone calls home to Mum & Dad.
Sure Alicia will be delighted, and Johnny will have comments
re: Mating of the Homo Sapiens, and Mum will probably faint.
Dad will become Reflective and will give me Wise Advice.
Luka is the loose cannon. How *will* he react? Elation?
Terror? Rage?

4:15PM Have fallen hopelessly in love with the baby.
Suddenly v. real to me. I'm walking around with another
person inside me. Kind of like in "Alien", only far less
frightening, though I know I've seen women in labour become
rather scary. But this baby...he is *real*. I know I won't be
feeling him "quicken" for another few weeks, but I delude
myself into thinking I can feel him swimming around inside
me and wishing he had a womb with a view, like Woody
Allen.

4:56PM Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" somewhat
appropriate.

5:15PM Cleaning Luka's flat, having pleasant conversation
with Jakko, who killed a mouse this morning (and v. kindly
deposited it on Luka's pillow). The dog continues to be the
bane of Luka's existence, constantly doing truly awful things.
At least he doesn't like to watch me take showers, like
James's dreadful King Charles Spaniel, Wellington. But he
(Jakko) has attempted, several times, to climb into bed with
us in the morning.

Jakko suddenly races to the front door and sits, waiting, as
Luka comes in. He snaps at the dog in Croatian, and the dog
just grins and trots away. There's is an uneasy truce
between them lately. I pick Jakko up and cuddle him, and
Luka gives me a *look*. "Why are you cuddling that damned
dog instead of me?" he asks.

"And what would *you* do if I scratched behind your ears,
darling?" I ask him sweetly, which makes him give me an evil
grin, like the Grinch.

I give Luka a hug and a kiss. Pretty soon, we're on the couch,
making out. Luka tells Jakko to leave immediately, which the
dog does v. quickly (he doesn't seem to like to watch us,
which is fine w/ me) and we make love on the couch (v.
acrobatic at times). He seems to be feeling much better. I
know I certainly do.

8:45PM Luka asleep and I still haven't told him I'm pregnant.
He's going to be a daddy again. Just hope he handles it well
and is willing to accept a half-lunatic baby. Got up and did
dishes, fed Jakko his supper and then woke Luka up. Going to
tell him. Going to just *say* it and see what happens. "Dark
Side of the Moon" playing in my head.



Luka *was* in a good mood when he got home. He had felt
sick to his stomach all day, but by quitting time, he was
feeling much better despite still sniffling and coughing a bit.
Last night had been a real rarity, in that *nothing* had
happened between them. Just exhausted sleep on both their
parts. Her work load had gotten to be alarming lately, and he
was trying to figure out some way to tell her to slow down
and stop killing herself without sounding like a controlling
jerk. Her career meant a lot to her, but surely she wasn't
willing to compromise her health for *that*.

Not that Luka was all that good at taking it easy. He was a
confirmed workaholic, and always would be. But at least in
the past few years he had finally learned how to stop
confusing his career with his life. He *was* willing to accept
a day off whenever it was offered. And since Kerry was
always happy to give him time off whenever he started
looking like death warmed over, he was in better shape
physically and mentally than he'd been in years. Of course,
he smiled as he woke up and saw Alexandra sitting in his
favorite chair, he knew that part of the reason for his recent
good health and happiness was a certain scatterbrained
British woman with a severe chocolate addiction.

"Hey," he smiled. He noticed how tense she looked. She was
sitting there, knees together, hands on her lap, staring at him,
blue eyes troubled. "What's wrong?"

"Um..."

"Yes?"

"Well...ah...I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just say it and
get it over with. I mean, there's some things you just have to
say and get out in the open and then deal with them like
adults, you know? It's very important to communicate like
adults and say what needs to be said and let the chips fall
where they may. So I'm just gonna say it and see how you
react and then we'll go from there..."

"What is it?"

"...I mean, we're both committed to each other, engaged to
be married and very happy together. You know I love you
and perhaps you're crazy enough to love *me*, so I'm hoping
you'll be able to deal with the situation rationally..."

"Cancer?"

"...and I'm trying my best to be rational, too, and hope that
this situation won't make things difficult but I'm sure it will..."

"Tornado?"

"...and we'll just have to deal with it..."

"Flood?"

"...because we do love each other and you mean so much to
me, Luka, and I can't imagine my life without you..."

"Jehovah's Witnesses in the neighborhood?"

"...so if you'll please just be quiet and *listen* to me..." She
got up and began to pace, wringing her hands nervously.

"Alexandra! Say! It!"

"I'm pregnant!"

He clapped his hand to his forehead and leaned back on the
couch, pulling the blanket up. "God, beba...I thought it was
something *bad*!"

"You're *not* upset?"

He breathed in and out for a moment, trying to gather his
thoughts. Pregnant. She's pregnant. And she's *standing
up*?!? He jumped to his feet, ignoring the fact that he was in
a state of undress, and made her sit down. "What are you
doing on your feet?!"

"Pregnant women *can* stand up sometimes, you know."

"Well, not my pregnant women. From now on it's bonbons
and bed rest...I mean, uh..."

"Oh, God, you're not going to be one of *those* guys, are
you? Flapping around me like a hen, worrying yourself sick
about my every hiccup? Because I will *seriously* kill you
before the baby's born. Assuming I don't kill you when I go
into labor."

"Can you blame me?" he asked. He grabbed his pants and
pulled them on, and she sat, her hands folded neatly in her
lap. He looked at her, then sat down again, suddenly
dizzy. "How far along are you?"

"Ten weeks."

"So it happened back in..."

"October the fourth," she said. "In the linen closet at County."

"Oh." He rubbed his eyes for a moment. "Not exactly
moonlight and candles, huh?"

"Strange how I had a feeling all week afterwards that I had
forgotten something. Now I know what it was."

"Yeah."

"Are you angry, Luka? This is probably not the best of..."

"How could I be angry at you, Alexandra? I'm the one who
forgot...and...well, you...you do want this baby, don't you?"
He asked the question with some trepidation. Maybe she
didn't want to put her career on hold for a baby. She had had
enough difficulty putting things on hold for three weeks while
her toe was broken, after all.

"I can't wait to meet him," she whispered. "He's going to be
a beautiful baby, if he looks like his Papa."

"Don't even *think* about wishing such a thing on him," Luka
shook his head, laughing. "Let's hope he looks like you."

She giggled and blushed. "Luka, I'm so scared. I've never
been a mother before."

"Neither have I."

Alexandra threw a pillow at him, and he took her hand and
pulled her into his arms. "But I've been a father. Not a great
father...maybe I'll do better the second time around."

"I'm sure you were a wonderful father," she said softly,
resting her head on his chest. "I just found out today, Luka.
I'm ten weeks pregnant...I heard the heartbeat. This
lovely 'woosh-woosh-woosh' sound, and I knew he was alive
and growing inside me."

"You think it's a boy, huh?"

"Yes. I have a feeling."

"That'll change," he said with a soft chuckle. Danijela had
been sure, in her first pregnancy, it would be a girl, but in her
third month she had declared firmly that it was a boy. She
had kept changing her mind at different intervals until Luka
had finally given up and insisted the technician tell them the
sex. "It's a girl. At least *she's* not gonna change her
mind."

He put his hand on her belly and pressed slightly. Alexandra
murmured and looked up at him. "They checked my weight
and told me I need to start eating *more*. Can you believe
that? I need to *gain* weight!"

"Well, at least now you can eat to your heart's content and
not feel guilty."

"What about you?"

"I'll probably lose weight. I did last time. Both times I went
into this decline...lost weight, got jumpy, was always
forgetting stuff, flapping around Danijela all the time. Prepare
yourself for Dr. Useless. I will be driving you insane for the
next seven months."

"Sounds like fun," she giggled. "I need to get a copy of 'What
to Expect When You're Expecting', and those exersize videos
for expectant mothers, and a good diet book for pregnant
women, and...food!"

"Cravings already, huh?"

"No, I was going to go shopping today and just realized I
forgot...we don't have any dinner!" She scrambled out of his
arms and started toward the kitchen. "Perhaps I can warm
up some soup. I think you have some tomato soup, and I
have a powerful craving for that right now."

"You sure you want to eat?"

"I'm famished!"

"Let the games begin!"

"And perhaps you could order a pizza?"

"Alexandra, slow down a bit. There's another thing we need
to talk about. Your work load."

"Work load? Oh...yes. Pregnant, working double-shifts...not
good."

"No."

"And I'm sure you'll insist I work a lot less until the last
trimester, right?"

"Yep."

"And you'll become very agitated and pushy if I don't agree to
slow down and work less hours and perhaps delay my
application for an attending position until after the baby is
born?"

"Well...uh..."

"I'll think about it. I promise...I will. We've got so much
thinking to do, but right now I'm *famished*! So call
Domino's and order a pizza...extra cheese, lots of pepperoni
and...peanut butter!"

"Peanut butter on pizza?" he said, wrinkling his nose. "I
suppose that'd be better than anchovies..."

"No, silly. I found some peanut butter! Now I just need some
jam. I'm so *hungry*!"

"Well, you have been throwing up all day...but beba, don't
overdo it."

"Oh, hush! I'm hungry and I want food!"

Good thing she's not a cannibal, Luka thought as he picked up
the phone and looked up Domino's in the phone book.

"Oh, you don't need to look it up, sweetie," she called from
the kitchen. "I put all the best pizza places' numbers on the
speed dialer."

"Ah...yes. And all the best Chinese takeaways...and that
Indian restaurant you like so much, too, I see." He punched
the button for Domino's. "You wanted extra cheese and
pepperoni?"

"Yes!" She made a happy "mmm" sound and he peered into
the kitchen to see her licking peanut butter off a spoon. Oh,
this is gonna be fun, he thought. Alexandra was entertaining
before she was pregnant. She should be the equivalent of a
Buster Keaton movie *now*.

To be continued...