TITLE: Into Sisters
AUTHOR: Miesque
RATING: PG-13 (mild language)
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season
Eight.  Luka has long since broken up with Droopy McHangdog (a.k.a.,
Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast.  Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of
'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may
end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
SONGS: "World of Blue", by Dwight Yoakam; "Head and Shoulders..." by
Richard Scarry (a tune that will, quite frankly, drive any parent
insane)

TRANSLATION: 'Nishta' = 'nothing'
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight

PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for
the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy; Cheesecake and Whine;
Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger
Mousetrap; Bless Me, Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge;
Have An Egg Instead; Charity; The Devil Cuts Loose; Toads and
Falsehoods; Ready to Go; Saying Goodbye; Crazy From the Heart; Danger;
Forty Black Balloons; Partied Out; Young Men Coming Aus; Price Check;
Going Once...; Check, Please; Eighteen Patients and a Dozen Roses;
Life Is Good; A Handful of Pebbles; The Horror...the Horror; Gumballs
and Gurneys; It's Not the Flu; Thud; Hvratska and Cymru Celebrate
Christmas; Snow Business; New Year's Dissolutions
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ellen Hursh for editing and several 2AM
brain-storming sessions.  :)



Luka was awakened by the alarm going off.  He sat up, noted that there
was something warm lying in bed beside him, and pulled the sheet back.
 Jakko sat up and started licking his face.  "Yeah, yeah...get out of
here, you wretched hound!" he snapped.  The dog jumped off the bed and
ran down the hall to the kitchen.

I sure hope she didn't use up all the hot water again, he thought,
yawning and stretching.  He grabbed his bathrobe, opened the bathroom
door, and stepped inside.  He decided to give her a cheery good
morning kiss and pulled the shower curtain back...revealing a tall,
slim blonde woman.

"Augh!"  It wasn't really a scream.  More of a cross between a gasp
and a Homer Simpson shriek.

She kept her back to him.  "Good morning," she said over her shoulder.

"Uh...yeah.  Good morning.  You're not Alexandra."

"No, I'm not."

"Who are you?"

"Alice."

"Oh.  Pleased to me-...I didn't know you were alre-...uh...excuse me."

He pulled the curtain back to its original position, pulled his
bathrobe on, rushed out of the bathroom and dashed down the hall to
the kitchen.  "Alexandra!"

"Yes?"  She was leaning into the refrigerator, getting a bottle of
orange juice out.  Luka turned around and was startled by two young
boys staring up at him.

"Oh...hi."

"Hi."

"These are my nephews, Niall and Edward.  Niall and Edward, this is
your... umm...future uncle Luka."

"Yes.  Lovely to meet you both.  Alexandra, could I talk to you for a
minute?"

"Sure."

"There's a blonde woman in the shower and she's not *you*."

"I'm not blonde," she said, confused.  "And of course she wasn't *me*.
 I'm standing here drinking orange juice."

"I'm aware of that!" he shouted.  He winced and glanced at the two
boys.  "The blonde...is your sister Alice, right?"

"Yes.  I take it she introduced herself.  She was always very
polite...Mum taught her well."

Luka closed his eyes.  She was always this way in the morning.  He
called it 'sensibly goofy'.
He closed the bathrobe a little more tightly around himself, muttering
under his breath, and then looked sharply at the two boys, who were
still staring up at him, apparently astonished.

"Which one of you is Edward?"

"Me," the blond boy said.

"Edward, tell your aunt Alexandra that I will be on the couch,
checking my pulse.  Excuse me."

A few minutes later, while he was sitting on the couch, having
reassured "Little Luka" that it would be safe to re-emerge one day,
Alexandra joined him.  "Hi."

"Morning."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you they'd arrived.  But you were so tired
last night...they showed up at three in the morning, Alice in tears,
the boys practically unconscious.  I'm taking them to my flat as soon
as I get packed..."

"Packed?"

"Yes.  I'm...uh...going to stay at my flat while they're here."

"Alexandra, that could be *months*!"

"Until the end of March, actually.  Then...uh...well, we'll be
married, right?  So it won't matter whether they're here or not,
because I'll be living here in an official capacity."

"'Here'?  What do you mean 'here'?  You mean they're going to live
*here* while you..."

"No, no, silly.  I'm going to live at my flat *with* them."

"Like hell.  We'll put them in a hotel..."

"Luka.  Please.  She's my sister."

"Yes.  And you're my fiancee.  My *pregnant* fiancee.  I won't have
you stressed out, Alexandra.  I can't stand seeing you so tired."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"Dr. Coburn gave me a clean bill of heal-..."

"Alexandra..."

"I have an obligation to my sister, Luka.  She's just been left in the
lurch by her husband and..."  She glanced up and sat Niall and Edward
standing next to the couch, listening to her every word.  "And you two
need to eat breakfast, don't you?"

"Auntie Alexandra can't cook, though," Edward said.

"I can make breakfast!" Alexandra objected.

"I'll cook breakfast," Luka interjected.  "How long have you been up,
beba?"

"Since three."

"Go to bed."

"Luka!"

"Now!"

"Ugh!"  She turned and flounced back to the bedroom, leaving Luka
standing in the middle of the living room, wearing nothing but his
bathrobe, staring at two little boys who appeared to think he was the
Grouchy Black-Haired Giant.  He stomped into the kitchen and made
scrambled eggs for them, remembering the last time he'd been involved
with a woman who came from a problem family.  Well, at least Alice
hadn't grabbed any sharp instruments and lunged at him, but then
again, who knows?  She might be a total nutcase.

Edward and Niall were fairly well-behaved, once it became clear that
Luka wouldn't take any guff from either of them.  They ate their eggs,
drank their orange juice and proceeded to ask Luka hundreds of
questions.

"Where are you from?"

"Croatia."

"Where's that?"

"Europe.  Northwest of Greece."

"Are you Auntie Alexandra's boyfriend?"

"Uh...yes."

"Are you gonna marry her?"

"Yes."

"Why did you come to America?"

"Because I wanted to."

"Do you like Batman?"

"The last movie was pretty bad, but yes, I do."

"Have you ever been to Africa?"

"No."

"Do you have any kids?"

"No."

"Do they have ponies in Croatia?"

"Yes."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a doctor."

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

Yes.  And if these kids keep interrogating me, I think I may add two
more to my list, Luka thought as he washed the dishes.  He heard a
noise and glanced back to see the same blonde-this time dry and fully
clothed-standing in the doorway, Alexandra right behind her.  "Oh.
Hi."

"Alice, I don't think you and Luka were properly introduced,"
Alexandra said quickly.

"Oh, I think mutual nudity pretty much makes formal introductions
unnecessary," Alice said, smiling at Luka.  She had an Ice Queen
quality about her.  Luka struggled to give her a polite smile, but
failing in that, he handed her a glass of orange juice.

"You had a good flight, I hope."

"Yes."

"Good."

Another long, uncomfortable silence.  Luka heard water dripping from
the sink tap, so he turned around and struggled to make it stop
dripping.  He didn't notice Alice staring at his backside.
Alexandra pinched her sister's arm and hissed something, which made
Luka turn around again.  "Yes?"

"Nothing!" Alexandra gasped.  "Alice and I are going to go into the
bedroom and have a nice chat.  We'll be *right* back."  She smiled
sweetly at Luka, grabbed her sister's arm, and dragged her down the
hall.  A few moments later, Luka heard the door slam shut.  He looked
at the two boys, who were still staring at him.

Luka remembered how Jasna used to always say that, whenever she was
asked what she was up to.  Usually it was nothing good.  He could
remember her piping voice calling back, "Niiiishta!"  Luka would sneak
in on her and more often than not, he'd find her with shaving cream
all over her face, or with her hand in the cookie jar.

Luka rubbed the bridge of his nose, eyeing the two boys again.  They
appeared to be fascinated with him.

"You two aren't scared of me because I'm foreign, are you?" he asked
mildly.

They shook their heads.

"Because I know sometimes people get uncomfortable around people from
other countries.  It's a perfectly normal response."  Luka had
experienced xenophobia from adults many times (usually adults who
claimed that they had nothing against foreigners, no less..."No, I
have nothing against foreigners!" and then he'd hear them making snide
comments about his accent, or calling him "Vlad".), but with children
it was just a matter of them being unprepared for a strange accent.

They shook their heads again.  Luka took a sip of his coffee, looked
up at the wall clock for a moment, counting to twenty, waiting as the
two boys relaxed.  Then he yelled "Boo!" and took great delight in
their screams of terror.  They dashed into the living room and a few
moments later he heard giggles-one of the best sounds in the world,
from Luka's experience.  Soon, they were back for more.  Within
minutes, he had found some ballpoint pens and some paper and they were
busily scribbling ("Draw on the *paper*!") while he went to the
bedroom door.  "Can I have some *clothes* please?"

"In a minute!" Alexandra called.  "It's really nothing, Luka.  We're
just having a discussion about...umm...living arrangements."

"Yeah, yeah.  Nishta."  He headed back to the living room and sat
down.  For the first time, he noticed several large suitcases.  There
was an eerie kind of permanence to those suitcases.  He had a terrible
feeling that he was going to be dealing with Alice and her kids for
quite a while.  Not that he disliked either of them, but he'd prefer
Alexandra not have this added stress in her life.

Feeling pretty embarrassed about his lack of clothing, Luka headed
back into the living room, where the boys were still seated at the
table, scribbling away.  "We're writing letters to Papa," Edward (the
elder of the two) informed him.

"Ah.  Good idea."  Tell him to come deal with his wife, Luka wanted to
say.  But he went back to his place on the couch, grabbed the
newspaper, and waited.  Harold the canary was whistling cheerfully,
Jakko was sitting in Luka's chair, chewing on a Barbie doll, and Jack
and Diane were munching away on tomatoes.

The All-American family, Luka thought as he tried to keep from
thinking about what he would now be doing with Alexandra were it not
for the presence of Alice and two small boys.  Her pregnancy wasn't
showing a lot yet-just a little bulge in her previously flat belly-and
in the past two days, since Alice's call, she had been practically
insatiable.  Luka figured it was hormones and a "let's have as much
fun as possible before my sister arrives" sense of emergency.



6 January 2002

9:15AM  V. frustrated w/ Alice, who has apparently forgotten she is
now Foul-Mouthed Lesbian Nun.  She is flirting w/ Luka and making
bloody fool of self.  I dragged her into my bedroom (*our* bedroom!)
four times and informed her v. strongly that Luka is my fiancee and
asked her if perhaps she remembered her husband left her for another
woman just a couple of weeks ago-does she really want to follow his
example and do *same bloody thing*?!

Alice apologises profusely for behavior, but I am skeptical of her
sincerity as she is still making eyes at Luka, who fortunately is
clueless as always and paying little attention.  He finally managed to
get into bathroom to dress for work and emerges in cloud of aftershave
and looking like he could use stiff drink.

During breakfast, Alice asked Luka about his impression of Red Cross
aid in Croatia, and he made her feel much better by saying they did an
excellent job in v. difficult circumstances.  Said nothing about fact
that, despite the Red Cross flag hanging on Vukovar Med. Centre, the
Serbs invaded *anyway* and slaughtered patients and doctors
alike-including his own family.  But then cruelty and hate is
universal.

Have packed two bags full of necessary items and now feel v. morose.
Sitting in living room with Edward and Niall, waiting for cab to come
and take me back to my old flat.

10:28AM  Alice bustling about my flat, unpacking her things and trying
to calm boys down.  Gah, phone!

10:52AM  Was Mum.  Something about Max the Bastard from Hell filing
for divorce on grounds of abandonment!  *He* is filing for bloody
divorce?!

11:09AM  Luka calling from CCGH, asking how I'm doing.  Almost burst
into tears, as Edward and/or Niall dropped vase in kitchen and broken
glass *everywhere*.  "I'm not doing all that great, that's for sure,"
I tell him.  "How about you?"

"I miss you," he said miserably.  "I'd rather be...uh...never mind.
Maybe you can escape for a while and have lunch with me?"

"I wish I could, sweetheart."

"Eh...I still miss you.  How'm I supposed to get through the day
without seeing your pretty face?"

Oh...God.  He is just so damned adorable.  "I've only been out of your
flat for...a little more than an hour, I think.  And you're at work."

"I still miss you.  And how'm I supposed to sleep without you
tonight?"

"Jakko will sleep with you," I tell him. 

"I'm gonna hang up on you!" he teases.  "Don't even suggest such a
thing."

12:45PM  Edward watching "Beverly Hillbillies" and trying to imitate
Hillbilly accent.  Not good at it.  Alice in my bedroom, lying down
with cold compress on forehead.  *Thank you*, Alice, for leaving me to
cope with these two.  Edward fairly nice, but Niall full of devil and
has penchant for breaking things.

1:15PM  Alice listening to Dwight Yoakam, a bad sign. 


There's not one golden sign that the sun will ever shine
Even the clouds have assumed a darker hue
In fact, the daylight's only trace
Reflects the tearstreaks across my face...
Must mean that I'm living in a world of blue


Has played this song six thousand four hundred twenty-seven times
since we got here and though I rather like Dwight Yoakam (Luka has
slight liking for C&W music, which is *odd*, considering he is from
Croatia), I have had quite enough of this song and am ready to stuff
pillows into ears to keep from hearing it again.  Augh!!  She's
playing it *again*!

1:25PM  Suppose it could be worse.  Could be playing Richard Scarry
videos all the time for Edward and Niall.  When you find yourself
singing


Head and shoulders, knees and toes
Head and shoulders, knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose,
Head and shoulders, knees and toes!
Knees and toes!


while in shower, it is perhaps time to re-evaluate your life and
introduce children to Verdi or Bach, or at the very least, Queen.

2:25PM  At work, away from Alice, dog, canary, turtles and small boys,
catching up on charts before I start seeing patients.  Doing triage
today.  Luka seems v. distracted and uneasy, and Dr. Weaver informs me
that he's been in a foul mood since this AM.  "By the way, how are
*you* feeling?" she asks me.

"Oh, marvelous," I lied.  "A bit tired sometimes.  But...uh...my
sister is in town with her kids and so...ah..."

"Really?  That must be nice."

Bloody hell no, it's not nice.  "Yes."

"At least Luka's meeting members of your family.  And the wedding is
in..."  She winced as if someone just stabbed her with sharp pencil.
"February?"

"Yes.  Twenty-third of February."

"Ah.  Yes."

"You've received your invitation, right?"  I started mangling a paper
clip.

"Not yet."

"Oh..."  Damn.  Could I have forgotten to send it?  Would she even
want to come?  Am v. certain she has Thing for Luka and don't know how
to broach subject, esp. since everyone believes she is a lesbian.
Luka has told me that she is sort who would never dignify rumors and
lies with any kind of self-defense, but why would anyone want to be
labelled as something they are *not*?
If someone said that I was a lesbian, I would certainly defend
*myself*!  Not that I've anything against lesbians in general, but if
you're *not*, you're *not* and...oh, never mind. Getting too
complicated and no use giving self headache over this.  "I'll be sure
and put the invitation in your mailbox," I tell her.

"Oh.  Thank you, Dr. Morgan."

Uncomfortable silence.  Often wonder what would have happened if I had
not come to America.  Would Luka now be with Kerry?  She would not
have been bad for him at all, I think.  There is a real "niceness" to
her that I like and appreciate.  She can be loud and harpish at time,
and really v. difficult to understand, but in general she treats me
and other staff with kindness and great patience-rather like mother
hen.  She hasn't even yelled at me for constant lateness.

"We're having the wedding at St. Jerome's Church," I tell her quickly.
 "It's a Croatian Catholic church."

"I take it you're Protestant, though," she says as we start down the
hall.

"Yes.  But the Anglican church is basically the Catholic church
without the Pope or the guilt."

"You and Luka have discussed the religious issue regarding the
babies?"

That stops me in my tracks.  We haven't discussed it *much*.  That is,
we have talked about it and the Religion Issue is a major one, of
course.  Making note here in diary to speak w/ him, at least before
babies enter kindergarten.  I don't suppose Catholic *or* Anglican
church would be doing cartwheels over fact that Luka and I have been
living together and have Frequent Sex, and the Pope would be
particularly upset over fact that I am pregnant out of wedlock, but
then again Pope is in Rome, and Queen Elizabeth II in Buckingham
Palace dealing with fact that three of her four children are divorced
and eldest son has mistress that resembles blonde Rottweiler with skin
problem.

"We've talked about it some," I tell her.  "I don't think it's really
become a major thing between us."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Morgan, I didn't mean to pry." Dr. Weaver looks v.
embarrassed.  She crutched away and I stood in hall for while,
thinking.

3:15PM  Perhaps it's only just dawned on me.  But I'm having *twins*.
One doesn't generally have dreams about two cribs, two bassinettes,
two giant mountains of dirty nappies...this is rather overwhelming.
Besides having to push two babies out instead of just one.  I think I
may beg them to knock me unconscious for delivery.  We need to pick
two names, as both will have middle names, and considering my family's
penchant for having Society godparents and such, they will have more
than one middle name.

4:25PM  Luka and I discussed baby names in lounge, and he made me
laugh with list of "Star Wars" names (rather like Lando, while Luka
prefers Anakin).  He doesn't look happy and in fact looks v. tired and
listless.  Think perhaps he's overextending himself and working double
shifts so he won't have to go home to empty flat (at least I left
turtles, canary and dog w/ him).  Circles under his eyes and fidgety.
I touched his hand and tried to soothe him-sometimes he is like big,
nervous racehorse-and he looked at me.  "I'm gonna go crazy,
Alexandra."

"So am I.  This, too, will pass," I tell him.  "Alice will go
home...well, *somewhere*...soon, and we'll be fine.  Just hang on.  I
hate this as much as you, sweetheart."

"I was hoping you'd say that.  I was worried maybe you didn't miss me
much."  He grinned mirthlessly.  "Besides, you left me with the
animals."

"Jack and Diane getting on your nerves?"

"Oh, they're fine.  Or they *were*.  Last night I made some very nice
turtle soup and..."

"Murderer!" I pretend to shriek.

"And then I had a very nice canary fricassee..."

"Augh!"

"And then Dalmatian Pot Roast, except that I had to substitute
Dalmatian with a Jack Russell terrier..."

"Luka!" I smack him on the arm and he kisses me, not caring that we
were caught when Mark and Elizabeth came in.  They stood in the door,
giggling.  Luka just rolled his eyes at them and left.  Elizabeth
gives me Knowing Look.

"Is it any wonder you're expecting twins?" she asked. 

"They should be interesting," I tell her with a laugh.  "Croatian,
Welsh, French, Italian and Greek ancestry, plus Luka's height and my
winning personality."

Mark is v. jovial.  "Have you selected names yet?"

Oh, no.  Not more suggestions!

Have entire list here, mostly rejects:

BOY NAMES:

Ariel
Nathan
Robert
Paul
Nevin
Kevin
Zeppelin
Steppenwolf
Alf
Caldwell
Daniel (my first choice, but Luka wavering a bit)
Bubba
Edwin
Cadwaladar
Griffith
Luka (which is *my* second choice)
Goran
Jesus
Norbert
Frederick

GIRL NAMES:

Stephanie
Jasna
Tiffany
Ear Splitting Scream
Danijela (which would actually be v. nice)
Natalie
Caroline
Elizabeth (guess who suggested *that*?)
Petra
Nicola
Ambrosia
Asia
Ethel
Lucille
Seraphina
Daphne
Heilwen (Alice suggested that, pronounced "Hel-wen", means 'sunny')
Augusta (Mum's suggestion)
Katrina
Zoe


5:10PM  On way home, on El.  V. tired, not looking forward to coping
with Alice and boys.  Miss Luka dreadfully.  Shall give him midnight
phone call and make suggestive comments in sexy whisper.

7:09PM  Late coming home.  Fell asleep on El, ended up somewhere in
suburbs and had to ride back.  Ugh.  Eating warmed pot roast and
potatoes, listening to The Band, "The Night They Drove Old Dixie
Down", and not caring a whit if it wakes Alice up.  She kept me up all
night w/ Dwight Yoakam and sobbing in loo.  She's my sister and I love
her, but I'm not sure I can take this.  Kind of scary to be reminding
myself, every morning, *not* to kill members of my family.

9:15PM  Sleeping with teddy bear again.  How utterly depressing.

To be continued...


(Remember Jimmy Angelov's line in "Practical Magic"?  That's where I
got the title, folks. But sorry...no menage-et-trois scenes are
forthcoming.)