Title: Lost Part 2

Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com

Site: https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/firebird_ascending/

Author: Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.

Distribution: Sure. Just lemme know where my baby’s going.

Spoilers:

Summary: Spike wakes up. We have a problem.

 “How’s he doing today?” Buffy asked her sister. Dawn finished chewing her mouthful of eggs and swallowed.

“He’s much more responsive. It’s like he’s just asleep now, not in a coma. And Xander’s better. I convinced him that now Spike was resting and if he kept poking at the poor guy up every hour, he’d never recuperate.” She grinned. “Course it was all an evil plot to make Xander actually sleep. I still go in and check to see if Spike needs food or bandage changes while Xander sleeps.”

Buffy looked at her sister with a fond smile. “I’m really impressed with how mature you’re being, helping Xander and Spike like this, Dawnie.” Dawn blushed, then quirked an eyebrow.

“I’m really impressed with how mature you’re being letting your mortal enemy and his lovesick caretaker stay here.” Buffy’s jaw dropped.

“Lovesick? Xander is in love with…Spike?”

“What about Anya?” Willow asked, just as shocked. “But he was with Anya!” Dawn rolled her eyes and looked at Tara. She was pleased to see the blonde smiling wryly at her girlfriend.

“Of course Xander is in love with Spike. He may not know it yet, but he’s in love with him. And as for Anya?” She growled, making Buffy think maybe she’d been letting Dawn hang around Spike too much. “He left her didn’t he? Finally.”

Tara took Willow’s hand. “Sweetie, Dawnie’s right.” She murmured. “Look at their auras the next time you see them together. They’re beautiful.” Willow turned her shocked look onto Tara.

“So you mean Spike loves Xander too?” She squeaked. Tara smiled patiently.

“Neither of them knows yet. I think as far as they’re concerned they are just good friends. But their auras?” she actually shivered, “Spike is red, a deep red like blood.”

Buffy snorted. “Well, didn’t see that coming.”

Tara continued through the interruption. “It’s paler now, because he’s hurt, but it’s like fire when he’s not. Xander is blue, a deep rich sapphiric blue like an ocean. It glows, and shimmers…like ice.” Willow closed her eyes, feeling the pictures Tara’s words were creating. “When they are together, their auras mesh. Fire and ice collide. If they were just friends, the auras would react like fire and ice, constantly pushing off of one another to gain dominance.”

She smiled blissfully. “But they blend. They bleed into each other. They create an icy purple fire. It’s beautiful.” She sighed. Willow opened her eyes, calmed by the tones of her girlfriend’s voice. Dawn looked satisfied. Buffy looked disappointed.

“This sucks! Why can’t I see the purpley goodness? I get the crappy powers.” She sulked, crossing her arms and sitting back with a pout. The others just giggled.

__________________________________________________

Xander had finally agreed to go pick up his stuff only after Dawn promised not to leave the vampire’s side, even to pee, and swearing he’d only be gone an hour. Dawn rolled her eyes again and listened to him lecture her again on how to do the job she’d been doing for the last two days. Eventually, Buffy just grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.

She was beginning to wish she’d left him with Dawn, though, after watching him fidgeting and worrying for the entire drive. As she drew closer to Xander’s apartment, she saw smoke. She smacked Xander on the arm to get his attention…okay, so she got a little bit of vindication in walloping him…and pointed to the rising column of flame.

He sat up and began worrying about something other than Spike. As they pulled into the parking lot, it became very clear what the smoke was from. A fire truck sat outside the apartment complex, but the firemen weren’t trying to put out the flames. They were actually leaning back against their truck, laughing.

In the center of the parking lot was a huge bonfire. Standing next to it was Anya, looking satisfied. On closer inspection, Buffy could see bits and pieces of what was on fire. A Hawaiian print shirt, a comic book, and some wooden bookcase looking thingy. Xander’s stuff. She glanced at Xander warily and was surprised at the look on his face.

He was grinning. He rolled down the window and waved a fireman over. "Excuse me? What's going on here?"o:p>

The man grinned back. "Broad got dumped by her boyfriend. She threw all his stuff out in the lot coupla days ago. Neighbors called the cops to complain and they told her to get rid of it." He leaned against the car, laughing. "So she set it on fire. Ain't hurtin' nothing, so we figured we'd let her get her jollies out."

Xander nodded. "I getcha. Well, good luck with the cleanup!" The laughing man walked back to the group of grinning guys. "C'mon, Buff. Let's go." He rolled the window up, snickering at the sight of his former life going up in flames.

“Xander? Aren’t you pissed?”

He nodded and struggled to get his giggles under control. “Oh, sure, I’m pissed. But I pretty much asked for it, didn’t I? I mean I did tell her I’d get whatever she hadn’t trashed. I should have realized…hey, ex vengeance demon here.”

“So, you’re mad, but you’re not surprised?”

He shrugged, still chortling. “Naw, I’m really not even mad. I got what mattered.”

Buffy stared straight ahead at the road and wished again that she could see those aura thingies.

______________________________________________

As soon as they walked into the house, Xander set to looking up phone numbers and canceling his credit cards. He tried to close the bank account, but was informed that Anya had gotten there first. He sighed. So much for his savings.

Buffy headed off to find someone to tell the story of Xander’s burning belongings to. She found all three girls in with Spike, Willow and Tara in chairs, Dawn lolling on the bed, reading magazines.

“Hey Sis,” Dawn acknowledged her presence. “Didja get Xander’s stuff already?”

Buffy grinned and sat on the bedside. “Hell no. When we got there, Anya had it all in a huge pile in the parking lot and was dancing around it while it burned.” That got everyone’s attention.

“Anya burned Xander’s stuff?” Willow asked, wide-eyed. Buffy nodded, then looked forlorn.

“And Xander just laughed and said he got the only thing that mattered.” The girls shared a collective sigh. Buffy frowned as she was kicked in the back. “Knock it off, Dawnie, you think its romantic too.”

Dawn looked at her in confusion. “Knock what off?” Buffy was kicked again. But she was looking at Dawn. And Dawn didn’t move. She turned her eyes to the other occupant of the bed. He lashed out again, his brow furrowed, and Buffy hopped off of the bed. As Dawn rolled off too, she ran to the doorway.

“Xander! Get up here now!” She hollered. Looking back, she made eye contact with bright, blue dazed eyes. “Spike! How are you feeling?” she stepped to his bedside then jumped back as he slammed himself against the headboard and went into game face.

Heavy footsteps hit the stairs at a run and Xander appeared in the doorway. His eyes went immediately to the bed and the vampire caught between cowering and growling. He took careful steps toward the bed, drawing Spike’s eyes from the Slayer. “Spike?” He said soothingly. “It’s okay. No one will hurt you. I promise. You’re safe.”

Spike stopped growling, but still clung to the headboard. Buffy stepped back further, and saw across the room that Willow and Tara were tugging Dawn back with them. Xander continued to advance on the bed. “Spike? Can you tell me what’s wrong? Please, Wil, tell Xander what’s wrong.” Spike’s game face melted away and he sat shivering at the head of the bed, looking terrified. His eyes held pleading and bewilderment, and Xander couldn’t stand it.

He finished the stretch to the bed and sank down onto the mattress. He held out his arms like he would to a child and really wasn’t surprised from Spike’s expression when the vamp launched himself into those arms with a whimper. Xander adjusted them until Spike was pulled onto his lap. He began shushing the vamp using the same nonsense phrases Tara remembered from before.

Spike eventually calmed down enough to be released and he sat, cherub faced and animae eyed, watching the others watch him. “Spike can you tell us what’s wrong?” Xander asked again. The vamp looked at him, registering his voice, but not replying. Xander tried again. “Can you tell us what happened?” The vamp cocked his head but still said nothing.

Tara knelt before the bed, playing on a hunch. “Spike, do you remember us?” A spark in his eyes. A question he could finally answer. He shook his head. “Do you remember who you are?” He shook his head again. Tara smiled and nodded. “That’s okay. We just needed to know, alright?” Spike nodded back, pleased to have done something right.

_______________________________________________

Xander sat in horror, staring at the table. Spike had fallen back asleep, a restful sleep, not the coma like state he’d been in for the last two days. The inhabitants of the Summers house were now gathered around the kitchen table quietly wondering what the hell to do.

“The electricity must have scrambled his brain waves, right?” Buffy finally ventured. Willow nodded.

“It has to be. He didn’t hit his head that hard when he landed. But what I’m really worried about is…” she hazarded a glance at Xander, who appeared lost in his own little world. “The chip.” She finished in a near whisper.

Dawn looked horrified. “You think it shorted out?”

Willow shrugged. “It may have. Okay, it probably did, but what I’m more worried about it what if it melted into his gray matter? Destroyed some part of his brain?” Silence reigned as they pondered the implications of that.

“How could we find out?” Tara asked.

“We could get him a CAT scan,” she chuckled wryly. “Oh, yes, Doctor. I know he has no pulse and no body heat, but could you please run him through your machine anyway?” She shook her head. “I really don’t know.”

____________________________________________

“Spike? Wil, no, honey…don’t’ touch.” Xander plucked the cross out from under Spike’s inquisitive fingers. “Crosses hurt you. You understand?” Spike just gave him ‘the look’. The girls said he should have it patented. It was a look that said, “no, actually I don’t understand. But it’s you that’s telling me so it must be true.” Xander sighed and gently patted Spike’s shoulder.

The last week had been awful. Spike had started speaking in one-word sentences. Just enough to get across ‘yes’ ‘no’ and ‘want’. The scoobies had to reteach Spike nearly everything else.

This is blood, Spike. You have to drink it. No, Spike. Don’t spit it out. No, Spike. I don’t want to share.

No, Spike. The mailman isn’t trying to break into the house. No, Spike. Don’t rip the nice mailman’s throat out. He was only smiling, not baring his teeth at you.

Don’t go into the sunlight, Spike. That one was actually met with something other than ‘the look.’ He’d gone back later to the window and tried to play in the dancing beams. When the first burn of the sun had scorched his hand, he’d run howling to Xander, hysterically chanting ‘burn, burn, burn’.

After Xander had doctored him up and held him for nearly an hour, Spike turned to him seriously and shook his head. “Sunlight. Bad.” Xander had tried not to laugh, and tried not to cry, and had praised Spike for realizing it himself.

Spike was also picking up some bad habits that Willow researched for Xander. Spike wanted to be held nearly all the time. He was constantly mouthing at Xander’s neck, much to Buffy’s dismay. Willow discovered that he might be associating Xander with his Sire. It was common for Sires to feed their Childer. That of course lead to the oft-repeated phrase: No, Spike. I’m not your Sire. I can’t let you feed off of me like that.

Spike seemed crushed the first few times he heard it, but lately, appeared to be making an effort to change Xander’s mind. Of course, he did this using other things associated with Sire’s and Childer. He was trying to seduce Xander. If Xander were in the house, Spike was touching some part of him. Often naughtily.

Xander couldn’t count the number of times he’d woken up with Spike plastered to his body, dropping tiny kisses up and down his chest, or laving his nipples with a cool tongue. Once, he’d woken up from an amazing dream of Spike’s cool mouth and wicked tongue rasping over his cock to find Spike’s cool mouth and wicked tongue rasping over his cock.

He threatened to make Spike sleep alone if he did it again. Spike pouted, sulked, gave him puppy-Spike eyes, but Xander held firm and in the end, Spike nodded sadly and lay back down, facing away from him.

After the week from hell, Xander decided that he needed to replace his things. Work was looming around the corner and he and Spike had been wearing the same clothes nearly every day. Willow had retrieved some clothes she’d borrowed from him and never returned. Giles had offered some of his as well, so they weren’t going naked. But Xander needed to have something that belonged to him.

So, he planned a shopping trip. And he planned to take Spike with him.

____________________________________________

Xander pushed the door open and held it for Spike. He’d tried to get the vamp to let him carry something but Spike only growled lowly at him and snatched the bags away. He directed the blonde into the kitchen and yelled for the girls. Spike arranged the chairs like Xander had described and waited quietly near the fridge. Xander had separated his and Spike’s clothes from the surprises they’d purchased when the ladies of the house came down the stairs.

“I wanna see!” Dawn called, fighting Buffy to get through the kitchen door first. Xander grinned and waved his hands to the chairs.

“For your viewing pleasure, ladies all…a show worthy of Versace.”

Buffy giggled, but sat anyway. “Do you even have a clue who Versace is?” Xander shrugged.

“Some dressmaker. I saw a bunch of Versace dresses on the front of a magazine in line at the grocery store one day.” Buffy winced and waved Xander away.

“Hopeless. You’re hopeless, Xander. Now…proceed with the gratuitous butt poses.” Dawn howled in agreement causing Xander to blush even as he pulled Spike out of the room with their bags of clothes. For the next hour, he and Spike took turns parading through the kitchen showing off their new outfits.

Spike actually seemed to be getting into it. He had the faintest glimmer of a smile when Tara wolf whistled at him and gave his ass an extra wiggle when Willow yelled, “shake it Blondie.”

Finally, Xander called the show quits when the girls demanded to see their underwear and Buffy and Dawn started chanting “thong, thong, thong.” He piled the clothes back into the bags and beckoned Spike closer.

“Ready to show them their presents?” He asked. Spike’s face lit up and he nodded. He handed the bag over to the blonde who took it very carefully and placed it on the table. Xander took a seat next to Dawn and waited. A brief look of panic set over his face as he saw Xander move away from him. Xander smiled encouragingly. “Go ahead. You picked them out. It’s only right that you should give the stuff to them.”

Xander turned to the girls. “We ran into this amazing glass blower in the mall. Spike was practically impossible to drag away from it.” He grinned. “He stood there so long that the glass blower gave him a free demonstration. That was all it took. Spike begged to get you all thank you gifts for letting us stay here. He asked for each to be specially made for each of you.”

Willow laughed. “He said all that, huh?”

Spike turned a tiny smile on her as Xander shrugged. “Okay, so it was more like…’presents…pause…thank you…pause…girls…pause…choose, inserting questioning tone and pointing to himself.’ Then he poked around in the glassblowers stock until he saw something he liked and pointed saying each of your names.” He looked at Spike, remembering how excited he’d acted when he found the perfect figurine for each girl.

“But I got what he meant.” He said with a soft smile. “You just have to look beneath the surface and read between the lines.”

The girls looked between Xander and Spike, one gazing in adoration, one ducking his head but returning the look anyway. Buffy sighed. ~Damn aura seeing people.~

Dawn was the first to break. “Show us the pressies!” She squealed. Xander pulled his gaze away from the blonde vamp reluctantly.

“Okay, Spike’s gonna give you the gift and I’m going to try to explain why he chose it. I’m kinda going off of what he tried to say at the mall and how he’s been acting since he woke up.” He’d set it up this way, knowing that if Spike were the focus of the group, he’d retreat back into himself and wind up hiding in a corner.

Spike pulled out a large box and handed it to Willow with a shy smile. She took it from his hands, her face full of excitement. Spike backed quickly away and Xander began his description.

“Spike wouldn’t put this down when he saw it. He just kept saying Willow. He thought it not only symbolized you, but would be functional.” Xander shrugged. “Okay, so he didn’t say functional, but he meant you could use it as well as look at it.” Willow reverently unwrapped her gift and sat perfectly still, gazing in wonder at the piece in her lap.

“For crying out loud, Willow! Show us already!” Dawn whined.

“Dawn, be patient.” Buffy corrected her sister, glad that someone else had broken before she did.

Willow lifted a delicate glass bowl out of her box. It was clear at the base and bled up to a rust color at the lip. Bare limbs from a willow tree graced its sides and the light shown through it as though the sun were shining into the forest of tree branches. She looked up at Spike in awe.

“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, Spike. Thank you.” She handed the bowl to Tara and beckoned Spike to her. He edged closer and leaned down as she crooked her finger. She placed a single light kiss on his cheek and smiled up at him. His eyes lit up. ~Like the light through the forest.~ She giggled slightly at her wax into melancholy and took back the bowl as Spike moved back to the table.

He pulled out a long slender box and handed it to Tara. She lifted the lid and gasped. “Oh, Goddess, Spike.”

Xander leaned back, pleased with Tara’s expression. “He chose that because it calmed him. Like you do. It made him feel peaceful and happy.” Spike made a noise across the room and Xander glanced at him. He had a frown on his face and he seemed to be prompting Xander to say more. Xander looked confused for a moment, then mouthed ‘oh! Sorry. “And it’s pretty.” Tara blushed, looked at Spike, who blushed and turned her attention to the wand nestled in the cotton.

She held it aloft and watched the amethyst crystals and silver piping sparkle against the clear glass rod. “It’s gorgeous, Spike. Thank you so much.” She too beckoned him over and he came more eagerly, now that he knew what his reward was to be. She kissed him on the cheek and he went happily back to the table.

He pulled out a small box. Xander grinned. “This isn’t functional or gorgeous. It’s too small to be an ornamental piece. But, Spike thought you could carry it with you on patrol so you could have something to make you smile if you get sad or lonely.” Buffy took the box warily and eyed Spike. She could have sworn there was a twinkle in his gaze.

She opened it and laughed. “Oh, my god! It’s Mr. Gordo ! Spike, it’s perfect!” She held up a tiny figurine, barely two inches tall, of a frosted pink pig with tiny floppy ears and gems for eyes and hooves. He held a perfect little red heart in his hands and he sat on a beveled mirror.

Spike returned her smile, looking pleased with himself. He moved closer and leaned down expectantly. Buffy laughed, but gave him a sound kiss on the cheek. “I think you like that, Blondie.” She added fondly. He shrugged and moved back to the table. He lifted out another large box and walked over to Dawn.

She bounced in her seat. “Ha! Buffy, mine is bigger.”

Buffy snorted. “So. Mine is perfect. And portable. So nyah.” She stuck her tongue out at her sister and clutched Mr. Gordo Jr. to her chest. Xander snickered.

“I don’t think this needs any introduction, but Spike was drawn to it like a magnet. He kept saying ‘pretty Dawn’ when he was looking at it.” Dawn tore into the box with a vengeance, slowing down when she reached the cotton padding. Tears came to her eyes and she covered her mouth.

She handed the box to Buffy and rose to her feet. She flung herself at Spike. He looked a bit like a wild-eyed deer at first, but settled into her embrace in a moment. “Thank you, Spike. I love it. I love you too.” She whispered and pulled away to kiss him on the cheek.

Buffy held Dawn’s gift up for the others to see. It was nearly 8 inches tall. On a coned base sat a melded sun and moon. The sun had golden tinged flames shooting off of it. The other side, the moon, was frosted into a quarter moon and dotted with glassy stars.

“It’s dawn ,” Tara breathed. “The union of night and day. Oh, Spike, that’s amazing.” Spike smiled in her direction over his armful of teary-eyed teenager. Spike pulled away gently and Dawn went back to her seat to stroke her gift reverently.

“Well, there you are, ladies. Hope you liked the…what Spike?” Xander stopped mid sentence as Spike reached into the bag and pulled out another box. Spike knelt at Xander’s feet and held the box out to him. Xander took it automatically. “What is this?” Spike pointed from the box to Xander and sat back on his heels.

“Well, open the damn thing!” Buffy said impatiently.

“Now, Buffy, be patient.” Dawn snarked back at her with a grin. Buffy stuck her tongue out at her sister. Xander opened the box and lifted out a glass anchor , trimmed in gold, with a golden rope twisting around it.

“Wow, Spike,” he smiled. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Spike looked expectantly at him. Xander faltered. The blonde obviously wanted him to make a connection, but he wasn’t getting it. What was it about him that reminded Spike of the ocean? Spike looked at Tara pleadingly. She furrowed her brow, then her face lit up.

“Oh, Xander, don’t you get it?” She breathed.

“Uh, obviously not. Help me out here?” He asked, nervously.

“Xander, what is an anchor used for?”

“Umm…to hold ships still?” He said cautiously. Tara nodded encouragingly. “So they don’t drift away…” he slowed down and stared at the piece, “so they don’t drift and lose themselves.” He looked up at Spike, who smiled in satisfaction. “Is that what I am, Wil? Your anchor?” Spike nodded and crawled up into Xander’s lap, displacing the glass gift. Buffy reached out to save it as Spike wrapped his arms around Xander’s neck.

Spike nuzzled Xander’s neck and sighed happily. Xander blinked away tears and clutched his vampire closer. “Thank you,Wil.” He whispered. Spike sat up, wicked smile on his face, and presented his cheek. Xander grinned. “Okay, I guess you deserve a thank you kiss.” His eyes closed as his lips moved to Spike’s cheek. When they got there, however, what they found was two more lips, soft, pliant, cool, hungry.

Spike nibbled on Xander’s lower lip, tracing its outline with his tongue. Then he pulled away shyly and hopped out of the brunette’s lap. He gathered up the bags of clothes and headed upstairs. Xander sat shell-shocked. Buffy leaned over and placed a finger under his chin, pushing his jaw back up.

“Unless you’d like Spike to come back down and stick something in there, I suggest you close it and go help him unpack your clothes.” She said pointedly. Xander looked from her to Dawn. From Dawn to Willow, then Tara and back to Buffy. He stood and bolted out of the room, laughter followed him.