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Author: Jozzy

Title: Crazy Love

Summary: My own universe set right after the whole New York thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff.

Spoilers: After the whole New York thing

Rating: PG-13 for language

'Shippers: M/M M/L I/A

Part 3

I've always been the girl that everyone wanted or wanted to be. Ever since that kind of stuff mattered anyway. I've always been popular, people gravitate towards me. But I remember the day I woke up with a thirteen year old mind and the body of a fifteen year old. Breasts had bloomed on  my body without my knowledge one summer. I walked into my first day of junior high and my world changed.

The weirdest sensation in the world is to be coveted. 

I walk down the hallways of Roswell High and feel the eyes of everyone on my body. Noticing every imperfection. It drives me insane most of the time.

Michael tells me my need to be perfect stems from my need to loose my virginity. I think his need to loose his causes him to misdiagnose others.

No, I know where my anal retentive tendencies come from. In my previous life I was a princess. The strain to be the perfect daughter, perfect fiancée, one day perfect wife and mother led me to betray my people. Led to the death of my brother, my soon to be husband, my family, and myself. And now in this life, I cannot fail them again. Now I must be all those things and more. The perfect student, perfect date, perfect idol, perfect in everyway.

But sometimes I don't have to be perfect. When I'm with Alex I don't have to be anything. He sees who I really am and he thinks that image is perfect. He pushes no expectations on me, only his love.

I repay him with empty promises and flowery words.

**********

I have been obsessed with Isabel Evans since the third grade. It wasn't the first time I had ever seen her. She was Isabel Evans everyone knew what she looked like. It was the first time she ever talked to me.

We were all on the playground. I was getting my ass kicked by this fifth grader when she walked by. The guy, Tom, Mike or something equally jockish, called out to her hoping to impress her with his physical poweress. She had glared at him, told him that he was an immature jerk. Jock boy beat a hasty retreat and I tried not to vomit in front of the great Isabel. She asked me if I was okay and I, of course, being the stupid kid that I was nodded. She walked away and I fainted.

Ever since then she has clouded my thoughts and blinded my eyes to all other women.

I makes songs about her but I never write them down, not where anyone could see.

My love for her has always been like a secret shame. I am not good enough for her.

Right now we dance around our mutual attraction. Never admitting real emotions.

She's just looking for something out of the norm. Isabel waited a long time to rebel against the standards our small town life has placed on her shoulders. I guess I should soak up her attention while I still can.

It'll be gone soon.

Girls like Isabel Evans don't fall in love with guy like me. Guys with not enough money or cool points. I don't go to the right parties. My clothes don't match hers. I'll never be the rich, jock superstar that she can ride to glory.

Isabel has been shown her entire life, both of them actually, that all she was good for was a trophy. Right now she's rebelling against that image of herself. But in the end she will succumb. She'll be the perfect wife to the perfect guy.

A true relationship between two people like us only happens in fairy tales.

And life in Roswell, New Mexico, especially our lives, are anything but fairytales.