Grin's Meditation Zone #2

Are you depressed? Feeling low? Feeling abused? Well then, don't call 888-GRIN

• GRIN - Greetings, devoted viewers. I would like to apologize for last week's...incident. Don't worry, the problem has been solved.
• NOSE DIVE - This ain't funny, Man! Let me outta this thing!!!
• GRIN - Now then, I'm sure some of you are wondering where I got this straight jacket from, but rest assured, all of your questions can be answered quickly and efficiently. Does anyone know how? How about you, Nose Dive, even though you don't have your hand raised, would you like to guess?
• NOSE DIVE - I couldn't raise my hand if I tried, dammit!
• GRIN - No need to be rude. Just answer the question. How does one get answers quickly and efficiently?
• NOSE DIVE - Uhhh...bribe Duke with chocolate?
• GRIN - Do you want me to tighten the straps on this thing?
• NOSE DIVE - AHHH! AHHH! Alright, I'm sorry! Meditation! There, are you happy?
• GRIN - Yes. Now then, moving on, I-
• DUKE - Hey Grin, Wild Wing needs to see you right away.
• GRIN - What, now?
• DUKE - Yeah, it's an emergency.
• GRIN - Dammit. Duke, could you watch him until I get back? Excuse me for a moment, devoted fans.
• DUKE - Sure, no prob. Bye Grin...okay, he's gone, Dive. See ya.
• NOSE DIVE - No wait!!! DUKE!! GET ME OUT OF THIS!
• DUKE - Who, me? Forget it. I like you better when you're tied down.
• NOSE DIVE - Fine then. At least stay and push the buttons for me.
• DUKE - Do I have to answer questions?
• NOSE DIVE - Nope.
• DUKE - Promise?
• NOSE DIVE - Suuure.
• DUKE - Fine.
• NOSE DIVE - Exellent. Hello all you obsessive Dive fans out there and welcome to NOSE DIVE'S Mediatation thingamabobber. Go on! Call up and give me some lovin', babes!
• DUKE - Ugh...I think I'm gonna be sick.

Break out the incense and get down with your bad self!

• NOSE DIVE - That was just my co-host, Duke L'Orange. Ignore him.
• DUKE - Whoa, hold it...I ain't no co-host.
• NOSE DIVE - What are you then?
• DUKE - I dunno...a button pusher.
• NOSE DIVE - Does your girlfriend know about this?
• DUKE - Shut up and take a call, Twerp.
• NOSE DIVE - You heard the man, gimmie some sugar, caller!
• CALLER #1 - Hello Nose Dive. May I call you Nose?
• NOSE DIVE - Only if you're on some kind of drugs.
• CALLER #1 - But I thought Dive was your middle name...don't you have middle names on Puckworld?
• DUKE - Sure we do...Tanya's is Gertrude.
• NOSE DIVE - I got a middle name, but it isn't Dive. Nose Dive is my whole first name.
• DUKE - Yeah, like 'Peggy Sue'.
• NOSE DIVE - Shut up you stupid button pusher!
• CALLER # 1 - Well what IS your middle name?
• NOSE DIVE - I'm not telling.
• CALLER #1 - Why not?
• NOSE DIVE - 'Cause he'll make fun of me.
• DUKE - Who me? I wouldn't do that...I'm just a stupid button pusher, remember?
• NOSE DIVE - Then shut up and go push some buttons! Here look, Caller, I'll tell you what...lean in real close to the phone and I'll whisper it to you.
• CALLER #1 - Yeah, uh huh, okay I got it. Wait a minute...you mean your middle name is KIRSTEN?!
• NOSE DIVE - NEXT CALLER! Hey, cut that out. Stop laughing, dammit! Get up off the floor Duke, you look SO undignified.
• DUKE - Whatever you say...KIRSTEN! Nose Dive KIRSTEN Flashblade. Oh man...what were your parents on?!
• NOSE DIVE - My dad had a sense of humor, okay?! Leave me alone, you goddamn button pusher!

Go on and give *snickers* KIRSTEN a call!

• DUKE - Well look at that...even the human that does the titles is makin' fun of you!
• NOSE DIVE - JEALOUS! YOU'RE ALL JEALOUS! I'll have you know that the name Kirsten is a big turn on for women. They like a guy whose in touch with his feminie side.
• DUKE - True, but I think the guy's required to have a masculine side, too.
• NOSE DIVE - Be quiet or I'll demote you to only one button.
• DUKE - Oh yeah, like I'm reall scared of you, still stuck in that straight jacket.
• NOSE DIVE - NEXT CALLER, DAMMIT!
• CALLER #2 - Hey there.
• NOSE DIVE - Why hello there, foxy human chick. What can the Dive man do for you?
• CALLER #2 - Actually, I wanted to talk to Duke.
• NOSE DIVE - DUKE?! Alirght, fine. Hey Duke! There's a slut on the phone for you!
• DUKE - Ignore him, he has rabies. What can I do for you, Miss?
• CALLER #2 - You can dump that bitch your dating and have sex with me.
• DUKE - Watch it, Lady, I happen to be in love with that 'bitch' I'm dating.
• CALLER #2 - What does she have that I don't?
• DUKE - Let's start with the obvious; a soul. Excuse me while I get this dumb whore off the line.
• NOSE DIVE - Nice job, Duke, I'm impressed. And so proud of you, too, defending your lady like that.
• DUKE - Like you wouldn't have done the same if they talked shit about Amber?
• NOSE DIVE - I don't know what you mean.
• DUKE - You think she's gooorgeous, you want to daaaaate her...
• NOSE DIVE - Shut up you goddamn button pusher!
• AMBER - Hey guys...I just came by to warn you that Grin's on his way up and boy does he look pissed.
• DUKE - Pissed, huh? He must not have meditated today. We'd better do as your little girlfriend says...KIRSTEN!
• NOSE DIVE - When I get outta this goddamn straight jacket, you're in trouble, L'Orange! Uh...goodbye everybody...see you next time!
• GRIN - Alright, that's it! now I'm gonna tape your fuckin' beak shut, you little- oh, hello everyone. I was just, uh...heh heh...just kidding...ummm...peace out.