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Nothing for Granted
AMC's Grant Aleksander has learned to appreciate the important things in life
by Jerry O'Neil
Soap Opera Weekly
November 2, 1993

"Get a life" is a phrase we often use to tease others, or as a self-mocking admonition. Within show business circles, actors swear every day they're going to leave the industry and find a "real" job and, thus, a real life. Grant Aleksander, freshly returned to daytime as ALL MY CHILDREN's cunning businessman Alec McIntyre, has come to a hard-earned conclusion on this particular topic. "We all always have a life," muses Aleksander, enjoying lunch at a favorite vegetarian restaurant in his neighborhood, Manhattan's Upper West Side, "but it sometimes is so much on the back burner. I appreciate my life now. You can get caught up in petty, no-win games that people in this business play. If you put your life on the front burner and your career second, I think you'll end up a lot more fulfilled."

The man knows whereof he speaks, for he's spent some time far from the madding crowd thinking about these matters. Still possessed of chiseled good looks and a body shaped by a love and practice of sports, Aleksander is one very centered individual, with depth to spare. He was last seen on daytime in February 1991, when GUIDING LIGHT's Phillip Spaulding headed off into the sunset with his bride, Beth, on their way to perform community service in the Appalachian Mountains (note: Arizona!!). Phillip had lost his edge, and so had the man who portrayed him. Not only had work caught up with Aleksander, but real-life drama, in the form of personal loss, necessitated a break from the career track. His hiatus would last 2 1/2 years, yet one gets the feeling it was the most important period of his life, and one that left a lasting impression.

The youngest of three brothers in a close-knit family, Aleksander spent his formative years in Timontium, Md,. a suburb of Baltimore. His early goal was to play pro football. ("I was bigger than most of the other kids, so they made me a lineman.") In high school, a mentor turned him on to theater and acting, something for which he felt a "natural instinct." He pursued this interest at Washington and Lee University in Virginia, then moved to New York and studied at New York University while playing his rent by working as a waiter. He modeled for a year and found an agent; shortly thereafter, he began to land acting jobs.

He first played Phillip Spaulding from 1982 to 1984, then split for Los Angeles to seek other opportunities. "Yeah, I wanted to go out and be a star and all that stuff," he says self-deprecatingly. In 1986 he did a brief stint on CAPITOL as D.J. Phillips, but he wasn't really drawn to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood and later that year returned happily to GL, where he proceeded to toil in heavy storylines over the next five years. He recalls one five-month stretch when, he says, "I worked five days a week, which, in the GUIDING LIGHT system, meant coming to the studio at 7 a.m. and leaving at 10 p.m., if you were lucky. I'm sure I complained, and lots of people will tell you I complained, but I always knew it was a great job. I was paid very well and treated very well. I just knew I was getting tired."

His stress was magnified by personal tragedies. Back home, his mother was suffering from lung cancer. During the same period of time, his father died of a heart attack in September 1990, when he was only 63. Aleksander and one of his brothers commuted home constantly to care for their mom until she succumbed to her illness a short time after her husband's death. In early 1991, overwhelmed by the confluence of events in his life and with his contract about to expire, Aleksander told GL he needed to get off the merry-go-round. He didn't know if he'd be coming back. "I had never lost anyone in my life as dear to me as a parent, and losing both of them very quickly...well, I was a mess for a while. I didn't know which way to turn. We were a very close family, and it really pulled the rug out from under me. It took some time to get back on my feet again."

He didn't face those tough times alone. His wife, actress and soon-to-be law student Sherry Ramsey, has been there for him throughout. They've been together for 14 years. Aleksander says, "We have a great relationship. It's been the salvation of my life, in good times and bad times. I knew I was in love with her from the moment I met her, when we did a play together in college. I went home that weekend and told my mom I had met the girl I was going to marry. That seems like another life, it was so long ago, but when you go through good and bad times with someone your relationship becomes so strong."

Most of his first year away from show business Aleksander treated himself to some much-needed mental rest and relaxation. He and Sherry traveled, spent time with friends and family, and hunkered down in the quiet of a home they own in Virginia. He even got into woodworking. "I thought I could have been happy setting up a little furniture shop, and I nearly did just that. But I'm a little too young and have too much fire under the kettle to do that right now."

Aleksander originally planned to take one year off, but as he puts it, "We were having such a good time, one month melted into another." Asked if he was ever contacted by GL, he answers, "I was at a party last year where a producer of the show, whom I hadn't met before, said I should come in and talk. I said I would and I intended to, but I knew I didn't want steady work at that point. The more I thought about it, the more I really wanted to do something different. I wanted to play a different character. I was a bit torn because I didn't know if GUIDING LIGHT wanted me back. I didn't expect anyone would say, 'Oh, we've got to have you back.' But if they did want me to come back, there is a part of me that feels a little guilty.

"I had a sense there was a door that could be opened, yet someone would have to open it, and I knew I wanted something else," he continues. "I still feel a twinge of remorse because I'm a loyal, sentimental person. I love GUIDING LIGHT; that show was great to me. I still love the character. Proctor & Gamble was always good to me as well. I'd hate to think there's any hard feelings, because I certainly don't have them."

So why the return to daytime now, and why AMC? Simple, says Aleksander. "I had a great opportunity present itself to me. I knew and had worked with some people here, it's very close to home, it's a great character, and it was all too good not to do." Interestingly, he went to Los Angeles first and again found that it was not to his liking. "There's a lot of work in L.A. that I'd like to do, but my home and what's left of my family is in the East. I'm an Easterner; I like the change of seasons, and I like New York City. I knew that if my career was the most important thing to me I'd be in L.A. now, but it's not. My wife, my family and my friends are the most important things to me."

Add animals to that list as well. He and Sherry hope to have children in the future, but for now their apartment is filled with the patter of cat and dog paws. "She can't walk by one, and neither can I," explains Aleksander. "We do our damnedest to take care of them. We clean them up, get them their shots, get them fixed, and we try to find someone to take care of them. We end up with the ones that we can't get someone to take (they have five cats and three dogs). The thing I love about living on the Upper West Side is that there's a network of animal people who really care. Everybody helps each other find homes for strays."

Now that he's back in the sometimes "clawing" world of soap opera, Aleksander declares, "It's tough not to feel good returning because daytime has been so good to me." He's flattered and grateful to AMC that everything has gone smoothly and easily thus far. "I'm learning each day about Alec; he's still new to me. I have a feeling he's one of those interesting characters for whom everything is possible. He can rationalize anything and genuinely believe believes it's OK. He'll never see himself as having committed any wrongs."

Aleksander is thrilled about performing the majority of his scenes with the likes of David Canary, Teresa Blake, Kelly Ripa and Chris Lawford (Adam/Stuart, Gloria, Hayley and Charlie). "I couldn't have landed in a better pot, because they're all talented and a lot of fun to work with.

"I love daytime!" Aleksander says. "I actually love the medium. I love the freedom you're given. I don't have anything against soaps. My biggest problem with daytime, as is the case with every actor, is that there's not enough time. You wish there were time for more rehearsal and for everyone to do their job better. Whenever I became unhappy with daytime in the past, it was when I felt I was in a rut of doing the same thing, day in and day out. You have to do something different to keep yourself alive creatively."

Does this mean he has achieved all his goals? Is he content with his career? Not at all. It simply signifies that at age 33 Aleksander now possesses perspective and a clearer grasp on his priorities in life. "What I've learned is that lofty ambitions aren't that important. What I really want is to have a good life, have good friends and enjoy my time with my family," he says. "I still want to be the best actor I can be, and I've got so much yet to learn about acting. If I'm lucky to stick around long enough, I can pass some of those things on to others. That's what I'm looking to do now, which doesn't preclude my desire to do stage work and feature films. I just don't lie awake at night thinking about those things."