(The Bauer kitchen. Rick, in a blue robe is making himself scrambled eggs and toast when Phillip arrives at his door.)

Announcer: The role of Rick Bauer is now being played by Michael O’Leary.

Phillip: (entering the door)
Oh my goodness! 10:30 in the morning and Rick Bauer just getting up?

Rick:
Morning, Phil.

Phillip:
What’s the matter? You sick?

Rick:
No, I’m not sick. I’m just enjoying myself while I can before school starts.

Phillip:
Mm-hmm. See, that’s kind of funny. I didn’t even think you enjoyed sleeping late. It’s one of those things about your character that’s…well, it’s always concerned me.

Rick:
Well, you can put your mind at ease, because I do.

Phillip:
Can I have a cup of coffee?

Rick:
Sure, go ahead.

Phillip: (Pouring himself a cup)
Got a letter from Morgan this morning. Seems like she’s left town.

Rick:
Yeah, I got one too. Sounds like she made the right decision, though.

Phillip:
Yeah? You talk to her before she left?

Rick:
No, I didn’t get a chance. I was looking for you.

Phillip:
Sorry. I didn’t mean to shake everybody up like that by taking off.

Rick:
Yeah. Well, I know that Professor Bruner’s death was real hard on you.

Phillip:
It was hard on everybody.

Rick: (nodding)
Grandma really appreciated you coming to the funeral.

Phillip:
It was weird. It was the first funeral I’ve ever been to.

Rick:
Hey. You okay?

Phillip:
Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. (Sipping his coffee).

Rick:
I do. Your dad worries about you too, you know. You should give him a call.

Phillip:
I will. Look, I didn’t come here to talk about me.

Rick:
All right. Well, what’s up?

Phillip:
You got a summer job?

Rick:
Nope. I went down to talk to the guy at the hospital personnel about getting a job as an orderly.

Phillip:
Mm-hmm.

Rick:
He told me because of budget cutbacks and everything that they aren’t going to be doing any hiring.

Phillip: (pointing to two slices of toast)
You going to eat this?

Rick:
Yeah, I’m going to eat that piece of toast.

Phillip: (nodding)
Um, I think I have good news for you.

Rick:
Oh yeah?

Phillip:
I happen to know for a fact that there is going to be an opening for an orderly this afternoon.

Rick:
Oh yeah?

Phillip:
Mm-hmm.

Rick:
Well, what happened? Who’s quitting?

Phillip:
I am. You sure about that toast?

(Rick takes a bite out of the toast).

Phillip:
You are sure about that toast.

Rick: (chewing)
Why are you quitting the hospital? Is it because of Professor Bruner?

Phillip:
Yeah, I guess that had something to do with it. But I wanted to work outside this summer anyway, and I think I got a line on a better job, so…(he sips his coffee).

Rick:
Oh yeah? Well, that’s great. Okay, I’ll make an appointment at the hospital tomorrow. Thanks for telling me.

Phillip:
Sure. But I wouldn’t do it tomorrow. I’d do it today because that’s when I’m going to give my notice.

Rick:
I can’t. I’m meeting my Uncle Mike at the hospital and we’re going to have dinner at Trish Lewis’ apartment.

Phillip:
Ooooh. Does that mean that the dreaded Mindy Lewis has come to town?

Rick:
You got it.

Phillip:
Well, I’ll tell you, a quiet night at home with Eve and Samantha never sounded so good.

Rick:
Well, I know that you’ve got a lot of time on your hands now that Justin’s out of town. I was figuring maybe you’d want to come with me.

Phillip: (laughing, with pity)
Oh, you were? No, no, no, no. This one, you’re all on your own. Maybe it’ll teach you you’ve got to learn to start saying no to these things yourself.

Rick: (scraping his eggs into a dish)
Well, Trish is such a nice person.

Phillip:
Stop. Listen to me. A little bit of sage advice for you, and you better pay attention. Nice means zilch in the face of a blind date with somebody that sounds as bad as Mindy Lewis. (Looking off). What’s that?

Rick:
What?

(Phillip grabs a piece of toast. Rick notices and grabs it back, ripping it in half.

Rick:
Hey!

Phillip:
Well…

(They both take a bite).

Trish and Josh were at the airport that morning and Mindy didn’t show -- she left a message that she was taking a BUS instead and would be coming in the afternoon. She traded in her plane tocket for two bus tickets. One for her and one for a guy that, in a month or two after this, you can’t imagine Mindy would even talk to. Plus -- she’s not wearing designer duds but rather short shorts and a jean jacket. And she came WITHOUT LUGGAGE--carrying only a backpack.

(The bus station. Trish watches as Mindy enters)

Trish:
Mindy!

Mindy:
Trish!

Trish:
Hi!

Mindy:
Hi!

(They embrace).

Trish:
Honey, I’m so glad you’re finally here.

Mindy:
Oh, yes. Sorry about the mix up, but I had to change my plans a little bit.

(A young “musician” with blue hair and sunglasses approaches and puts his arm around Trish).

Trish: (not amused)
Oh, I see.

Mindy:
Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude. This is my friend, Eddie Carnage.

Trish:
Carnage?

Eddie:
Mm-hmm. That’s right, mama.

Mindy:
Yeah, we rode the bus together all the way from Tulsa.

Eddie:
Yeah.

Trish:
Really? (Removing Eddie’s hand from her shoulder). Well, uh, can we, uh, offer you a ride…or something, Mr…

Eddie:
Carnage.

Trish:
Carnage.

Eddie:
No, no, no, man, I’m just changing buses.

Mindy:
Yeah, Eddie’s on his way to New York to be a professional singer.

Eddie:
Right. Well, look…(he holds out his hand and Mindy hands him his portfolio) see you, honey, and thanks for the ticket.

Mindy:
Oh, that’s okay. And good luck, Eddie. Good luck.

Eddie:
Later, baby. (To Trish) Later, Aunt Trish.

(He leaves, Mindy giggles).

Mindy:
Have fun!

Trish: (horrified)
You bought his bus ticket?

Mindy:
Well, I met him three days ago in Tulsa, and he was broke. So I cashed in my airline ticket and bought two bus tickets.

Trish:
You mean you have been on a bus for three days with some guy named Eddie Carnage?

Mindy:
Well, his real name is Melvin Wendell. If I hadn’t bought his ticket for him, he would have never gotten to New York

Trish:
Oh, and New York would be so incomplete without him. Um, honey, are there any more members to this entourage of yours?

Mindy:
No, just me.

Trish:
Wonderful.

Mindy:
So, what’s next on the agenda, Aunt Trish? I hope I didn’t mess things up.

Trish:
No, no, no, no, not entirely. In about two hours, we’re going to be having dinner at my apartment with your Uncle Josh, and a friend of mine, Mike Bauer, and his nephew, Rick.

Mindy:
Oh, and the nephew’s for me, right?

Trish:
Right.

Mindy:
Okay, what’s he like?

Trish: (laughing)
Well…he’s no Eddie Carnage. But I think you’ll live. (She puts her arm around Mindy.) Let’s go.