Season 9 spoilers!

NEW SPOILERS:

January 9, 2003
The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work

When Rachel decides to show off baby Emma to her co-workers, she is surprised to find a handsome temp (guest star Dermot Mulroney) who's been filling in for her -- and their immediate war of wills prompts her to make a rash decision that she could regret. Elsewhere, Joey finagles Phoebe into a job as an extra on his soap series but she wreaks havoc on the set while Chandler will work for food -- and other things -- at Monica's insistence.

January 16, 2003
The One With Phoebe's Rats

NEW OFFICE HUNK HAS RACHEL IN A FUNK AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY; DERMOT MULRONEY AND PAUL RUDD GUEST-STAR -- Rachel is steamed when she learns that Monica innocently invited her hunky new workplace rival to her birthday party while Ross has his hands full keeping Joey's hands off baby Emma's beautiful new nanny (guest star Melissa George). Elsewhere, the fur flies when Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) coaxes boyfriend Mike into co-parenting a clutch of baby rats that were born in her cabinet. !

---

FROM 901 to 906

901
Its the same day that Rachel has given birth so the whole episode is
set in the hospital with Rachels room as the main set..Everyone is in
the same clothes...so our Chandler is in chinos/red check shirt &
tennis shoes. the 1st scene starts with Joey on his knees & Rachels
in the bed..she seems baffled by his "proposal" but says YES!
anyway..
Ross then bursts in followed by everyone else & Jack (Elliott Gould)
who does magic tricks for the baby..
When they were all lining up to follow Ross into the hospital room
MATTHEW was really chatty & jokey with Lisa..he was cracking her up!
Also, whilst waiting for the scene to be re-set MATTY was standing
with his eyes closed for ages like he was asleep or meditating...the
MC guy commented on him & CCA said he can just fall asleep like
that!!
Scene 2 was everyone except Rachel looking thru a window at the baby
except Jack is looking at the wrong one & theres ALOT of farting
jokes!!!Monica takes Chandler to one side & says she wants to make a
baby right there..Chandler says in order to impregnate her he needs
to
be facing the other way!! (She was stood behind him at that point
with her arms round him!) MATTY re-wrote that line as it was'nt funny
enough the 1st time..he also says "honey, I'm tired! I'll have sex
with you..but NO foreplay!" and she says "deal!"
Next scene is Rachel in bed discussing the "proposal" with Phoebe who
thinks that its ROSS who has proposed!
Chandler & Monica are having sex in the cupboard again (this was shot
behind a screen!!) & Jack walks by & overhears them & listens at the
door not knowing who it is...Ross is disgusted at his dad..Again
MATTY
changed his lines each time as Jack bursts in on him & Monica..it
went
from "Hello Sir! You KNOW Monica!?" to "Hello Sir! You KNOW my
balls!"
..This brought the house down!! But I can't see them using it!!!!
Then Rachels still in bed trying to breastfeed the baby (which is a
mechanical on by the way!!)..in front of Joey who is appalled..
She falls asleep & Ross & Phoebe go in & see the engagement ring on
her finger & Ross can't remember proposing! He thinks he MIGHT have
tho!
Chandler & Mon are still in the closet & Jack is outside all of them
are in shock..Chandler says they'll have to go out eventually & he
puts their underwear in his pocket..they tell Jack that they are
trying for a baby so he shows them some "positions" to try!! Chandler
says he's gonna have a heart attack & pulls out the red underwear to
wipe his forehead! MATTY put those black specs on after each take!
Rach & Mon discuss Joeys proposal & Rachel confides that she
DOES@N...
really want to marry him!
Chandler asks Joey if hes spoken to Rach about the proposal & Joey
says Rachel has put ring on & then she took her breast out so he
could'nt discuss it! Chandler says "Oh My God! And what was her
breast
like???!!"...Joey says he did'nt look..but the babys head was in the
way anyway!!!!! And did Chandler know theres a couple screwing in the
cupboard!!! Chandler is slightly interested ..then SHOCKED as he
realises its him & Mon!!!!!!
Next is a VERY long scene between Rachel/Ross/Joey where all the
misunderstandings are cleared up & Ross says he was'nt going to
propose..the ring was just in his pocket!
So basically Rach is alone...
The last scene is Jack at the cupboard door again passing sex
leaflets
underneath..but Chan/Mon walk by and say hi!!! So Jack asks for them
back!!(He thought they were still in there!!)
So that was 61/2 hrs worth of Friendly taping...
Matty was VERY chatty with the girls especially..at one point he went
& sat on the bed with Jenn for ages while they had a deep
conversation
& he was'nt even in that scene..
At the very end they announced it was his birthday on the Monday &
presented him with a yellow/black tennis racket..which he played like
a guitar to the Friends theme!
I saw Matt leB leave..but MATTYS bmw was still there with Jens jag
when I left..It was GREAT to see him so jolly & lively & he spent
quite abit of time in the writers "huddle"....(which is a good sign!)
..If I remember anything else I'll post later!!!

 

902
Basically Rachel & Joey don't end up engaged. Ross is upset at the
both of them because Rachel said yes to joey and joey didn't tell
ross. Joey tells Ross to hit him so he can feel better. Ross swings
at joey, and joey ducks. Ross Breaks his thumb hitting a pole in
Central Perk instead, much to the delight of Gunther. It seems like
they will be slowly bringing Ross & Rachel Back together throughout
the season. In other storylines, monica is the only one who can get
rachel's baby to stop crying, leading monica to believe that she
has "magical powers". Rachel forces Monica to stay and take care of
the baby so she can finally get some sleep. Chandler falls asleep in
a big meeting at work, and unwittingly agrees to move to Omaha to
head up the office there. He trys to get out of it but just ends up
insulting his boss, mistaking her daughter as her son. These are the
basic plotlines, but I won't give away any more punchlines (for now
anyway) because this is a very funny episode that you'll want to
watch.'

902- TOW Emma Cries

SCENE C
>
>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY, EXTRAS)
>
>CHANDLER AND A GROUP OF COLLEAGUES ARE SEATED
>AT A CONFERENCE TABLE. AS THE STERN MS. LUBETSKY
>CONDUCTS THE MEETING, CHANDLER STRUGGLES TO STAY
>AWAKE.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> The question is, what can we do to beat
> forecasts for third-quarter earnings?
>
>CHANDLER DRIFTS OFF AND HIS HEAD BOWS FORWARD, THEN
>POPS UP AS HE IS JOLTED AWAKE.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> The numbers we're seeing from NY,
> Chicago, and London are consistently
> solid.
>
>CHANDLER STRETCHES HIS NECK AND SHAKES HIS SHOULDERS.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> But may of our field offices have had
> disappointing yields. Boston is down
> seventeen percent. Atlanta is down
> thirty-one percent. Houston is down
> twenty-two percent. I could go on and
> on.
>
>CHANDLER STABS HIMSELF IN THE THIGH WITH A SHARP PENCIL.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> Now, i'm starting to get pressure from
> from upstairs, so i want to be proactive
> about this.
>
>CHANDLER TAKES HIS FINGERS AND LITERALLY PULLS HIS EYELIDS
>OPEN. HE FACES MS. LUBETSKY AND LISTENS, HOLDING HIS UPPER
>AND LOWER EYELIDS WIDE APART.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
> For starters, i think we should use the
> successes in our central offices as a
> template to increase productivity elsewhere.
> I have a forty-two point plan...
>
>WITH A SIGH, CHANDLER LETS HIS EYELIDS GO AND DRIFTS OFF
>AGAIN.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY (CONT'D)
>
> Point one: I want to set up an intercompany
> communications system so your colleagues
> in other cities feel less alienated. What do
> you guys think?
>
> CO-WORKERS
>
> Sounds good. Great. Absolutely
>
> CHANDLER
>
> (POPS UP) Yes!
>
>AS THE GROUP REACTS, AND CHANDLER BEGINS TO DRIFT OFF
>AGAIN, WE...
> CUT TO:
>
> SCENE E
>
>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY, EXTRAS)
>
>CHANDLER IS DEAD ASLEEP, HEAD TILTED BACK, MOUTH WIDE OPEN.
>LUCKILY, A CO-WORKER IS BLOCKING MS. LUBETSKY'S VIEW OF HIM.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> Okay, if everyone is on board, it's
> settled. Chandler?
>
>CHANDLER JOLTS AWAKE, TOTALLY DISORIENTED.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Huh?
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> Are you on board?
>
> CHANDLER
>
> What can i say other than "yes"!
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> Well then, problem solved. Chandler
> will head up the Tulsa Operation.
> We're gonna miss you, Bing.
>
>AS CHANDLER REACTS, WE...
>
> CUT TO:
>
> SCENE P
>
>INT. MS. LUBETSKY'S OFFICE - LATER (DAY 2)
>(CHANDLER, MS. LUBETSKY)
>
>IT'S AN IMPOSING OFFICE. MS. LUBETSKY SITS BEHIND A
>LARGE DESK. CHANDLER KNOCKS AND ENTERS.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Uh, ma'am, do you have a minute?
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> For a team player like you? Any
> time. I just got off the phone
> with Tulsa. They're very excited.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> That's actually what i wanted to
> talk to you about. Ma'am i can't go
> to Tulsa.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> (ICY) But you said you could.
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Yeah, it's a funny story, actually.
> I... I kinda fell asleep in the meeting
> this morning, so when i said I'd
> move to Tulsa, I didn't really know
> what i was saying.
>
> MS. LUBETSKY
>
> You fell asleep?
>
> CHANDLER
>
> Only because I was up all night worrying
> about this morning's metting. Isn't that
> funny? (OFF HER GLARE) Irony? Not a fan?
>
> Okay. (THEN) So here's the thing...I
> went home and told my wife about us moving
> to Tulsa, and she won't do it. She, unlike
> me, is not a team player. Opposites
> attract, huh? Anyway, me, I love Tulsa.
> Tulsa's heaven. Tulsa's Italy. Please
> don't send me there. (THEN) Here's a
> thought... maybe we just close the Tulsa
> office. (WITH DISDAIN) I mean... Oklahoma?
> Arkansas craps on Oklahoma. Of course,
> now i remember, you're from Oklahoma.
>
>MS. LUBETSKY CROSSES HER ARMS AND STARES AT CHANDLER.
>
> CHANDLER (CONT'D)
>
> The point is, if it's all the same
> to you, I'd rather just stay here.
> (READING HER LOOK) Or maybe i don't
> have that option anymore. And it's
> the Tulsa job or nothing. (SIGHS)
> Look Carol, -- can i call you Carol?
> Of course not. Can we just talk like
> people?
>
>CHANDLER SITS ON HER DESK AND KNOCKS OVER A FRAMED PHOTO.
>HE PICKS IT UP.
>
> CHANDLER (CONT'D)
>
> (RE: PICTURE) Your son's a handsome
> fellow. Strapping. That's you daughter,
> isn't it? She's lovely. I like a girl
> with a strong jaw. (THEN) So I guess
> what I'm asking is... This Ford Focus...
> is that a four door? (OFF HER LOOK)
> Two's fine.

>Basically Rachel & Joey don't end up engaged. Ross is upset at the
>both of them because Rachel said yes to joey and joey didn't tell
>ross. Joey tells Ross to hit him so he can feel better. Ross swings
>at joey, and joey ducks. Ross Breaks his thumb hitting a pole in
>Central Perk instead, much to the delight of Gunther. It seems like
>they will be slowly bringing Ross & Rachel Back together throughout
>the season. In other storylines, monica is the only one who can get
>rachel's baby to stop crying, leading monica to believe that she
>has "magical powers". Rachel forces Monica to stay and take care of
>the baby so she can finally get some sleep. Chandler falls asleep in
>a big meeting at work, and unwittingly agrees to move to Omaha to
>head up the office there. He trys to get out of it but just ends up
>insulting his boss, mistaking her daughter as her son.

903- TOW the Pediatritian

- Ross, and Rachel's baby going to a pediatrician

- Joey & Phoebe go out on a double date, Phoebe brings a girl for
Joey and vice versa

Chandler's story has something to do with Tulsa.
Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. Tulsa. (I like to say Tulsa)

INT. RESTAURANT EVENING (NIGHT 3)
(Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Mary Ellen, Extras)

JOEY AND MIKE ARE SITTING AT A FOUR TOP

MIKE

I gotta tell you, I don't know why I'm doing this with you.

(THEN) But I did just get out of a nine year relationship. I

guess I should be open to new and interesting things. You

know, take some risks.

JOEY

That's good. Get the boring stuff out now. (THEN,

NOTICING) Alright, here they come. Just follow my

Lead and it's going to be fine. All you have to do is

Pretend to be 'Mike'.

MIKE

I am Mike.

JOEY

Atta boy.

PHOEBE AND MARY ELLEN APPROACH. AD LIB INTRODUCTIONS.
THEY ALL SIT DOWN.

MARY ELLEN

(TO JOEY) I have to admit, I'm a big fan of your show.

JOEY

Thank you. And thank you for bringing up the fact that

I'm famous. It can be very hard to slip that into casual

Conversation.

PHOEBE

(TO MIKE) So, how do you and Joey know each other?

MIKE

(NERVOUS) How do Joey and I know each other?

Wow. If I had a nickel for every time somebody

Asked me that.

HE CHUCKLES ANXIOUSLY.

JOEY

(QUICKLY) From school.

MIKE

Yeah, we met in college.

JOEY SHAKES HIS HEAD 'NO'.

MIKE (CONT'D)

I mean high school.

JOEY GESTURES, 'EH, NOT SO MUCH'.

PHOEBE

What are you up to these days?

MIKE

Well, I'm a lawyer AND WE.

JOEY

You hear that? Mike is an attorney! Way

To go Mike!

MIKE

Actually, I just gave up my practice.

JOEY

What? I'm just hearing about this now?

That's the kind of thing you usually run

By me!

MIKE

I just always wanted to play the piano

Professionally. And I figured if I don't do

This now, I never will.

PHOEBE

(TOUCHED) That is so great. I like that much

better than the lawyer thing.

JOEY

I knew you would. That's why I waited till now

To introduce you to Mike.

MARY ELLEN

I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.

JOEY

What? No. That's not what I meant. Let's get

You a cocktail.

CUT TO:

SCENE P

INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM (NIGHT 3)
(Rachel, Ross, Emma, Dr. Gettleman, Receptionist)

RACHEL HAS EMMA. SHE IS TALKING TO THE RECEPTIONIST WHO IS BEHIND
A SLIDING GLASS PARTITION.

RACHEL

Hi, I'm Rachel Green. I have an appointment

For Emma.

RECEPTIONIST

Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient.

He should be out shortly. Why don't you

Just have a seat?

RACHEL

Okay. Thank you.

SHE NOTICES A PRINTED LIST ON THE WALL NEAR THE NURSE'S DESK.

RACHEL (CONT'D)

I'm sorry. Does that say 'doctor's home number'?

THE RECEPTIONIST SHOOTS HER A LOOK. RACHEL BACKS OFF.
THE DOOR TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE OPENS. DR. GETTLEMAN
ENTERS, SPEAKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS STILL IN THE ROOM.

DR. GETTLEMAN

I think it's just a cold. It's definitely no strep.

WE REVEAL THAT THE PERSON HE WAS SPEAKING TO IS ROSS.

ROSS

Are you sure, because my throat's really...

ROSS SEES RACHEL WHO IS STARING AT HIM, MOUTH AGAPE.
HE STARTS TO SAY SOMETHING THEN TURNS AND WITHOUT A
WORD EXITS INTO THE ROOM, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

SCENE R

FADE IN:

INT. RESTAURANT A LITTLE LATER (NIGHT 3)
(Joey, Phoebe, Mike, Mary Ellen, Extras)

THE FOUR OF THEM ARE STILL THERE.

PHOEBE

(TO MIKE)

I can't believe you two went to high school

Together. I bet you were cute back then.

MARY ELLEN

(TO JOEY) I bet you were, too.

JOEY

Yep. That's us. Just a couple of cute guys

Who've been good friends for a long time.

MARY ELLEN

Yeah, and now look at you. You a music

Attorney, and you on Days of Our Lives.

MIKE

(EXCITED) Days of Our Lives! That's

why you look so familiar!

PHOEBE

What?

MIKE JUST SITS THERE, REALIZING HE BLEW IT.

JOEY

(QUICKLY) It's a game we play from back

in high school. We pretend we don't know

each other. We used to play a lot of games.

(THEN, TO MIKE, THREATENING)

Remember the one where I punch you in the

Face for not being cool?

PHOEBE

(GETTING SUSPICIOUS) Mike, can I ask

you a question?

MIKE

Sure.

PHOEBE

How many sisters does Joey have?

MIKE

Uh...

JOEY QUICKLY FLASHES MIKE SIX FINGERS.

MIKE (CONT'D)

(CONFIDENTLY) Six.

PHOEBE

(ONTO HIM) No, he doesn't. He has seven.

JOEY

(TO MIKE) What are you doing?

(HOLDING UP SIX FINGERS AGAIN)

I said seven! (LOOKING AT FINGERS

AND REALIZING) Agghh!!

PHOEBE

You guys don't know each other?

What is going on here?!

MIKE

(TO JOEY, FLAT) Wow. I can't believe this

didn't work.

PHOEBE

(TO JOEY) You set me up with a stranger?!

Why?!

JOEY

Because I forgot about our date.

PHOEBE

Unbelievable! I spent all this time finding

The perfect girl for you. She's smart, cute,

And loose...

MARY ELLEN

Hey!

PHOEBE

Oh, who are you kidding? (THEN TO JOEY)

And you find some guy off the street?! This

Is humiliating!

JOEY

I'm sorry. But can't we blame this on

The guy we hardly know?

MIKE

Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed

To this.

PHOEBE

Uch. I'm out of here.

PHOEBE GETS UP AND EXITS.

JOEY

Phoebe, wait.

MARY ELLEN GETS UP.

JOEY (CONT'D)

You're leaving, too?

MARY ELLEN

I'll stay if you can tell me my name.

JOEY

Have a good night.

CUT TO:

SCENE X

INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE WAITING ROOM ...A LITTLE LATER (DAY 4)
(Ross, Sally, Boy, Girl, Receptionist, Nurse, Extras)

THERE ARE A FEW CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS WAITING. ROSS
APPROACHES THE RECEPTIONIST. AS HE DOES, AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN,
SALLY, ENTERS WITH HER CHILD.

ROSS

Um, hi. I don't mean to be a jerk, but the
Baby with the rash came in after me.

RECEPTIONIST

The doctor will be right with you, (POINTED)

Sir.

ROSS RETURNS TO HIS SEAT. SALLY'S DAUGHTER IS READING A BOOK.

GIRL

Mommy, I can't find Waldo.

ROSS TAKES A QUICK GLANCE AT THE BOOK.

ROSS

Where is he, at the circus? (BEEN THERE)

He's behind the elephant.

SALLY

Wow. So, your child's a big fan of

Waldo books, too?

ROSS

(COVERING) Uh, yeah, that's what it

is. (THEN) My name's Ross, by the way.

SALLY

Hi, I'm Sally. (NOTICING) So, no ring.

Can I assume you're a single parent, too?

ROSS

I am a single parent.

SALLY

So, are you here with your little one?

ROSS

(EVASIVE) Hmmm, yeah, being a

single parent is tough.

SALLY

You're right. There's almost no

Time for a social life. I mean,

Where are you gonna meet someone?

ROSS

(FLIRTY) Maybe... in a pediatrician's

office?

SALLY

(SMILES) Maybe.

SALLY'S DAUGHTER STANDS BETWEEN THEM WITH THE BOOK

GIRL

Mommy, I can't ...

ROSS

(GLANCES AT BOOK QUICKLY) Seashore?

Row boat. (BACK TO SALLY) So anyway...

Say you did meet someone in the pediatrician's

Office. Would you possibly meet him later

For coffee?

SALLY

That sounds nice.

THE NURSE ENTERS.

NURSE

Rossie? We're ready for you.

THERE IS A BEAT. ROSS DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

NURSE (CONT'D)

(OFF HIS NON RESPONSE) Rossie?

ROSS

Uh Right. (TO A NEARBY BOY)

Come on Ross, Jr. It's time to go

See the doctor.

THE BOY DOESN'T ACKNOWLEDGE ROSS. SALLY LOOKS
AT ROSS, CONFUSED.

ROSS (CONT'D)

Ross Jr.? (OFF BOY'S NON RESPONSE,

TO SALLY) They're so difficult at this age.

THE BOY TURNS TO SALLY.

BOY

(TO SALLY, CONFUSED) Mommy?

SALLY

(TO ROSS) What are you doing?

ROSS

(BEAT) Single mother of two, huh?

904- TOW the Sharks

Monica goes in Tulsa to surprise Chandler, who's watching porn on tv.
When she comes in he suddenly flips into a Nature channel, showing
sharks, so Monica thinks they make Chandler sexed up. When they come
home Monica turns on a shark show, thinking this will turn Chandler
on.

In the meantime Phoebe goes out with Mike (played by Paul Rudd like
it was reported in another thread) but Ross reminds Phoebe that she
didn't have a real relationship in a month, so she gets sad and cries
all the time, when she's out with Mike. Ross is upset, so he goes
looking for Mike to tell him about "Vicrum" (a fake guy for Phoebe
that he's making up) and that Phoebe was with him for 6 years. It
turns out Mike already asked for another date to Phoebe and Ross
rushes to Phoebe to tell him about "Vicrum", but everything ends
nicely with Mike and Phoebe being cute and kissing.

Joey dates Hailey (played by Susan Ward), and after the date they go
to her place and Joey thinks he has slept with her before, but she
doesn't remember, so she tries to cionvince her, until it turns out
it's her room mate he has slept with!

Rachel and Emma barely appear on this episode, probably due to
Jennifer being away from the set.

905: THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S BIRTHDAY DINNER
air date: 10/31/02

SLAP-HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR A FAMISHED PHOEBE -- While birthday girl
Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) and Joey (Matt LeBlanc) giddily await the
arrival of their fellow friends to celebrate at a fancy restaurant,
a delayed Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) frets about leaving her baby
Emma with a sitter while Monica (Courteney Cox Arquette) and
Chandler (Matthew Perry) light each other's fire when he gives in to
his urge to resume smoking. Meanwhile, a starving Phoebe and Joey
try to hold their primo table without drooling while Rachel, Ross
(David Schwimmer), Monica and Chandler encounter further delays.

906: THE ONE WITH THE MALE NANNY
air date: 7/11/02

"FRIENDS'" 200TH FEATURES FREDDIE PRINZE JR. AS SENSITIVE MALE NANNY
WITH FELLOW GUEST STARS HANK AZARIA AND PAUL RUDD -- In the Emmy
Award-winning comedy's 200th episode, a jealous Ross (David
Schwimmer) mocks Rachel's (Jennifer Aniston) choice of an over
sensative male nanny (guest star Freddie Prinze Jr.) for Emma while
Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) must choose between two ardent suitors -- new
friend Mike (guest star Paul Rudd, "The Cider House Rules") or
visiting former boyfriend David (Hank Azaria, "Tuesdays with
Morrie"). Elsewhere, Chandler (Matthew Perry) feels threatened by
Monica's (Courteney Cox Arquette) constant chatter about a male co-
worker whose sense of humor outwits even his. Matt LeBlanc also
stars.