Xander let out a happy sigh when he saw the familiar brown paper package in the mail. "Ah, the joys of the Internet." He had come to realize that Willow was right, you could get ANYTHING over the Internet. Particularly porn. It was amazing. Log on, pick out the videos, place the order, rent for a week, enjoy, send back. No one was the wiser. No embarrassing trips to that certain video store. No looking around to see who was watching as you went into the back room. No hiding the titles as you walked past the families renting Bambi. Anything you wanted, all completely private. 
Which was great. Especially when you didn't really want anyone to know exactly the types of porn you were renting. Xander threw the rest of the mail on the table and dropped on the couch, quickly ripping open his box. 
"Let's see, what do we have here, His and Hers 7, Bi-Boys 12 and, oh, my favorite, Everybody Play 18." He felt the happy grin cross his face. He had discovered the joys of bisexual porn when Anya had picked some out. He had felt a little uncomfortable at first, especially when the threesome they had been watching changed to a twosome with only the guys, but he couldn't deny that he found it arousing. Especially when Anya had begun using the dildo on him. That was when he realized that maybe, just maybe, his innocent checking out of others guys in the locker room wasn't so innocent after all. Since then, he had done a lot of thinking and realized that, yes, he was attracted to men as well as women and that, no, it didn't freak him out nearly as much as he expected. Anya had left about a month before, she had gotten some information about having the curse removed. Their parting had been sad, but Xander was slowly getting over it. He missed the sex, though. Missed it A LOT. Then, while prowling around some porn sites one night, he had found a video rental site. He browsed, found some things he liked and now well, now it was his new favorite pastime. 
He stacked the videos on top of the TV and went back to his usual routine, unwinding after a hard day at work. He quickly fixed some dinner, sorted through the bills and junk mail, more bills than junk, unfortunately, then had a quick shower, the anticipation running through him the entire time. Finally, he wandered back to the living room, comfortable in his sweats and t-shirt. He made sure all the necessary supplies were on hand. He was an old fashioned kind of guy, relying on those faithful standbys, hand lotion and tissues. He popped one of the videos in at random and settled back, in for another enjoyable Thursday night. 
He grinned slightly at the familiar cheesy music and too bright colors. The grinned deepened as he saw the "plot" of this one featured construction workers. He and Anya had had many long and intense discussions over his requirement that there be at least some semblance of plot. However, such trivial distractions as plot and clothing were soon gone and he settled down to enjoy, slowly stroking himself. 
The woman was hot, but the men, god, the men were hotter. This was something else he had discovered. The men in straight porn, while hung like horses, were not that attractive. However, bi porn, well, the men were hot. His kind of hot, generally, slender with perfectly toned bodies. He watched as the action intensified, one man dropping down on the woman while she swallowed the other's shaft into her mouth. His stroking grew slightly faster as he watched the bodies rearrange themselves, as the men slowly sank into each entrance of the woman's body. The bodies on the screen began to writhe as the men's thrusts settled into a pattern, one thrusting in as the other pulled out. The groaning from the screen mingled with the panting from the couch as Xander tightened his grip. Suddenly, a fourth figure joined the frame, a hand reaching down to run along one of the men's backs.
"Looks like you could use some help," came the murmur from the screen, the low hum of the words arousing enough without the added benefit of the silky accent. A beautiful, pale skinned form leaned down, the perfect ass coming into view as the man bent into the frame, moving to kneel behind the man pounding into the woman's ass. Long, thin fingers reached down and began to thrust in and out of the other man's opening. Xander's panting grew harder as he watched a head lean down and begin kissing down the man's back. Blond hair, sharp profile, pale lips and cheeks. More words spilled out.
"So hot, so perfect. Yes, luv, just like that." 
Xander stopped, eyes growing wide. That voice, those words, so familiar they cut through the wave of his arousal. He watched more intently, hand slowing as the face came into sharper focus. It was the razor edge sharpness of the cheekbones that gave it away.
Spike. It was Spike. Spike on the screen. Spike moving back to thrust into the man. Spike's beautiful body laid out for all to see. Xander's hand automatically pumped harder and harder, moving in time to Spike's thrusts. He watched as Spike moved slowly in and out of the man, watching Spike's muscles contracting with each thrust, watching as Spike took control, trying to pound into the woman through the other man. Finally, his head tilted back and he let out a strangled cry as he pulled out, coming on the man's back. Xander's mouth went dry as he watched. He didn't think he had ever seen a more beautiful sight. He barely noticed the other men come, didn't see the woman at all. All he could concentrate on was Spike lying on his back on the floor, naked. Perfect. 
Three other men entered the frame and moved immediately to Spike. One slowly ran his prick along Spike's mouth and Xander let out a moan as he saw Spike's lips open, swallowing him down. Another leaned down, tonguing Spike's nipples while the third pushed his fingers in and out, obviously preparing Spike. Xander's strokes grew harder and harder as he saw the second man kneel next to Spike, taking Spike's dick in his mouth at the same time that the third man pulled Spike's legs onto his shoulders and thrust deeply into the vampire's body. The entire time, Spike continued to suck and lick the first man. Xander managed to spare one thought **I thought they didn't photograph** before coming harder than he had in months. 
Xander lay on the couch, panting, trying to recover for the intensity of the orgasm. He finally focused back on the screen just in time to see Spike arch away, coming once again while the man pumped in and out of his ass. Xander felt himself twitch in response and, in a blind panic, he turned the television off. His thoughts slowly came back to him and he stood on shaky legs and headed to the bathroom to clean up, the mess a little too much for mere tissues. He stood under the shower's warm spray, hearing his heartbeat slowly return to normal. Spike. Spike in a porno. Spike on film. Spike's ass. Spike's mouth. Xander shook his head sharply. No, it wouldn't do to start pondering THAT now. 
Clean, he returned to the living room and turned the television back on. He quickly rewound the video to that part, hitting pause as the face came into view. It was unmistakably Spike. He rewound to the beginning, seeking the list of credits he had automatically zipped past, curious to see what name Spike would use. The credits began. Candy Fields. Samantha Storm. Rock Johnson. The usual. Then, simply, Spike. Xander rolled his eyes. What else did he expect. Of course Spike wouldn't bother to come up with some other name. And, besides, from what he saw it seemed perfectly appropriate. Xander looked at the clock. 8:15. Still time to make it to the mall. He threw on his jacket and headed out the door, the beginnings of a plan in his mind.

"Xander, what in the world are you doing? Since when did you own a video camera?" Buffy asked as Xander slowly panned across the room. 
"Since last night, don't know why, but I suddenly realized that I wanted one. Figured it would be nice to catch you all on tape doing something truly horrid. Then maybe I could have some nice blackmail material." He never took his eyes off the small screen on the side of the camera. He liked it, enjoyed the power he felt with it in his hands. The salesman had talked him into getting one slightly more expensive than he planned, but Xander had managed to avoid buying the most expensive model, thus still feeling virtuous that he hadn't gotten what he REALLY wanted. 
He turned the camera on Willow and Tara. Tara immediately ducked her head while Willow just shot him an amused glance. 
"Planning on making another Blair Witch parody?" 
Xander grinned back. "Hey, at least our ghoulies and beasties would be real. Thought maybe we could film the Buffster slaying, you know, replay, review style and stuff like that." That had nothing to do with his reason for buying the camera, but he knew they would like the idea. And it was a good idea.
"That, that is actually a good idea, Xander." Giles said looking up from his book. A small frown crossed his face. He should have considered that years ago. He let out a sigh, realizing the modern world was catching up with him once again.
"Do have them from time to time." Xander continued to film, waiting for Spike. 
"So, what's going on tonight, end of the world and all that?" 
Xander swallowed hard when he heard the voice, images of Spike's naked body instantly springing into his mind. He breathed deeply, grateful that he had remembered to wear his baggiest pants. Otherwise, he might have had some explaining to do. He turned and trained the camera straight on Spike. Sure enough, the vampire showed up on the screen.
"Hey, Spike, wave to the camera."
Spike just shot him a look and flipped him off. Xander continued to track Spike as the vampire moved to collapse on the couch. 
"Bloody hell, what are you doing? Get that thing away from me." A low growl as Spike patted the pockets of his duster, looking for his cigarettes.
"What's the matter, camera shy?" Xander was stunned at how calm his voice was. His hands were shaking slightly and he was glad that the camera had image stabilization.
A snort. "Not bloody likely, pet." 
**Not from what I saw** Xander grinned a little as the words crossed his mind, then he closed the camera with a snap. He couldn't wait to get home and see if he was right, see if Spike did indeed show up on the tape. 
A few hours and several dead vamps later, Xander stumbled into his apartment. He went immediately to the VCR, loaded the tape into the adapter and pushed it in to play, not even bothering to shed his coat. He watched as Buffy, Willow, Tara and Giles all waved, heard their words. Not too bad if he said so himself. The movement was smooth and he had framed them nicely. Knowing he was stalling, he finally hit fast forward until he saw the camera begin to spin. He hit play, his heart in his throat. Sure enough, there was Spike. For whatever reason, Spike showed up on the tape. He watched Spike flip him off, watched him sit down, heard their banter. So, Spike did show up on tape. So, that wasn't just some remarkable look and sound alike. Xander hit stop and dropped down in front of the computer. He knew that site had a search engine that would look by actor. He pulled it up, entered Spike's name and waited. His jaw dropped when he saw the results. 34 films starring or featuring Spike. His hands shook as he selected a few, reading the thumbnail sketches, looking for ones in which Spike was the featured star. Sure enough, there were 6 in which Spike seemed to be primary actor. Xander tried to ignore the fact that they were all gay porn and selected three. He placed the order before he could change his mind. 
He moved back to the television, popping out his tape and putting in the other, already cued to Spike's entrance. He sat back, eyes glazing as he watched Spike set to work, already counting the minutes until the new videos would arrive.

Part Two  

Xander paced back and forth in front of the windows, glancing out every few seconds. "Damn it, the mail's usually here by now," he growled under his breath. He shot another angry glare out the window, muttering quietly. Luckily, it was Saturday so his obsession could continue unabated. "Never takes this long," he muttered, moving back to the television and checking that the VCRs were properly set up for the fifth time that morning. He had already made a copy of the other tape, then a backup copy, just in case. He knew, in some distant part of his mind, that he had long ago crossed that line that separated fantasy from obsession. Now, he couldn't sleep if he didn't jack off while watching Spike, especially not after long nights of patrol, hearing that smooth voice, seeing that cool hair, lost in those brilliant eyes. He ran his fingers down the growing stack of tapes stacked next to his video camera. He had indeed filmed Buffy slaying, but those tapes were back with Giles. These, these were his tapes, the ones he had managed to take of Spike. Mostly profile shots, as it was hard to surreptitiously film Spike while pointing the camera right at him. But he did have a few shots here and there of Spike grinning, amused at some private joke. It was the grin that got him every time. He could close his eyes and see that grin just before Spike leaned over to kiss him, see the arch to the eyebrow as Spike's head moved down, see . . . Xander shook his head sharply. Wouldn't do to start seeing that now. Not when much, much better sights were shortly to be had. He whipped around as he heard the unmistakable sound of the postal truck pulling away. He ran down the stairs, opened his mailbox and saw it. Yet another nondescript brown paper package. He bit his lower lip and tore back up the stairs.
"Ok, here we go. Basic Training: Sir, Yes, Sir. The Pet. Boys In Blue: Hands Up & Spread Em. That's the stuff." He drank in the titles, running his finger down each spine. He noticed that the usual star shot on the cover was missing. He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. "Of course there's no picture, doesn't photograph, just films, remember." He picked up a tape at random, not really caring which one as long as he could see Spike again. He pulled the blinds closed, turned off the phone and settled on the couch. 
He almost swallowed his tongue when he first saw Spike on screen. There he was in all his glory. Wearing camouflage from head to toe, hat and all. Only the boots looked the same. And if Xander thought the jeans Spike usually wore were tight, well, dear merciful heavens, the jeans were positively baggy compared to this. Xander realized in a daze that this was the first time he had ever seen Spike in anything other than black jeans, black t-shirt, red shirt. And no duster. No duster. He stared, unblinking, trying to fix the image in his mind. If there was anything sexier than this , he didn't know what it was. There was just something about a man in uniform. 
His consciousness suddenly slammed back into him, however, when he heard the words rip from the speakers. "Soldier, have to teach you some discipline. Drop and give me twenty." He saw Spike just bow his head and Xander's throat tightened at that. Spike, submitting to someone. He watched as Spike dropped down to his knees, watched the white fingers reach up and pull the other man's shaft out. Watched the mouth descend, heard the faint sound of counting. He swallowed hard, scooting forward on the couch, the maddening slurping sound driving him insane. His eyes grew wider as he saw Spike swallow the man down to his sac, sucking the thickness fully down his throat. Xander groaned, clearly picturing how that must feel. Long, long minutes passed while Spike feasted on the prick, his head held firmly in place by the hands on his shoulders. Finally, with a cry of triumph, the other man came, pulling out from Spike's mouth and shooting over Spike's back. With that, Spike suddenly stood, reached up and threw the man over his shoulder, pinning him face first to the ground. 
"Think it's time to break ranks." With that, Spike began running hard hands over the man's back, slowly, so slowly ripping apart the clothes. He merely pulled the man's pants down, so that all that showed was a swatch of back between the tatters of the shirt and a perfect ass. Spike yanked the man upwards, until he was on all fours and then leaned down, tracing his tongue down the ridges of spine. He reached the man's ass, where he began to suck fiercely, quickly raising red welts. The man whimpered and Spike pulled away, yanking the man's head back by his hair.
"Who needs discipline now, soldier boy." With that, Spike stripped off his own pants, moving back to run just the tip of his cock along the crack in the man's ass. The man whimpered louder, trying desperately to throw himself backwards and take Spike into him. Spike kept just far enough away so that the man could feel the tracing but could do nothing more about it. Spike kept up the firm grip in the man's hair until, suddenly, he plunged straight into the body beneath him. The man's sudden cry was drowned out by Xander's who came immediately, not even needing to touch himself. His rhythmic hip thrusts combined with rubbing against the fabric of his jeans had made that unnecessary. He breathed deeply then moved into the kitchen, desperately in need of a beer. Who cared that it was only 11:30 in the morning.
Xander sat propped up against the couch, having realized that he was much more comfortable leaning against the couch, naked, then sitting there half clothed. He had watched Basic Training five times so far, still shaking his head in wonderment at the scene on top of the Humvee. He didn't know you could bend like that. Or that two people could fit themselves into one mouth if they really, really wanted to. 
But now, now he was ready for something new. He ejected the tapes and placed The Pet in the playback VCR and a new blank tape in the one which would record. He leaned comfortably back and watched as the scene unfurled. 
A long, dark room. Some type of deep red hangings covered the walls, the light coming from the torches held in the sconces on the wall. A cage was in the center of the room, the bars running nearly the width and length of the room. Inside the cage was a low couch, wide and covered with plush pillows in the same red as the hangings on the wall. A low chanting could be heard in the background and a dark figure could be seen sitting with its back against the entrance to the cage. A swirl of black and Spike entered the room, dressed now in a plain white shirt, a black cape with blood red lining and black pants. Spike reached up, untying the cape and letting it fall to the floor. He dipped into a pocket, pulling out a small gold key. Moving forward, he inserted the key into the lock, turning it with a small click. The figure inside the door stiffened, then slowly stood, his back still to the entrance. He was completely naked. Spike walked in, reached out and grasped the figure by the chin, forcing the figure to turn into the light. 
"Now, pet, why are you hiding. You know that you are mine to play with." With that, Spike pulled the body forward, directly into the flickering light cast by the torch just overhead. Xander gasped. The man had golden skin, dark, thick hair and, when he opened his eyes, dark, dark brown eyes. He resembled Xander, not entirely but enough. Enough to cause Xander's pupils to dilate and his breathing to quicken. Spike leaned up, placing a hard, cruel kiss on the boy's lips, then pushed him over to the couch. The boy backed away and it was then that Xander could see the shackle on his right leg, could see that the chain was fixed to the far side of the cell, enough to allow freedom of movement but not enough to allow escape. 
"Pet, you are mine, you live for my pleasure." The words, spoken so lowly, still rang out. The boy just nodded mutely. Spike pushed him down on the couch then stepped back, tilting his head to survey the scene before him. With a curt nod, he moved to the chest in the corner of the cage, opening it to reveal thick, braided lengths of silk rope. He moved back to the couch and began to expertly tie the man to the bars of the cage, spreading the boy's arms out wide, latching the boy's free leg to a ring in the floor. When the vampire was finally satisfied that the boy could not break free, he pulled his clothes off. 
"Now, pet, you shall do all that I ask. Open your mouth." The boy complied immediately. Spike moved up to straddle his body, then reached a hand down, running it along the boy's tongue, then using his now wet finger to trace the boy's lips. A shudder ran through the boy's body as Spike dipped two fingers into his mouth, running both fingers straight down the boy's throat. The boy shut his mouth briefly, swallowing hard, then willingly opened his mouth as Spike's hand moved back to his lips. This time, however, Spike suddenly dipped his head down, sucking the boy's tongue out and curling it around his own. Spike's hands had dropped to the boy's nipples, which he was pinching and teasing until they were hard points. Spike moved down, lapping once at each nipple then suddenly moved back up. Now it was his prick which he ran along the boy's swollen lower lip, forcing it into the boy's mouth an inch at a time.
"Use your tongue, pet. That's right, do what I say." The words of command were no sooner spoken then the boy eagerly began to comply, lifting his head as far off the couch as he could reach, eager to swallow Spike whole. Xander licked his lips as he heard moaning coming from the screen, seeing Spike's head toss back, baring his throat. Xander imagined, just for a moment, what it would be like to bite Spike there, right on the base of his throat. 
Spike began to thrust lazily in and out of the man's mouth, reaching one hand up to run through the boy's hair. The boy's eyes were closed, a look of rapture on his face. Spike pulled back, trailing the wet edge of himself down the boy's body. 
"Now, pet, do you think you can be good?"
"Yes, master, so good, anything you say." The words were moaned out as the boy began to writhe beneath Spike. 
"That's a good pet. Good pets get rewards." With that, Spike moved down between the boy's legs, lowered his head and gave three tremendous licks to the boy's weeping head. The boy shuddered hard against the ropes as Spike took him fully into his mouth.
"Yes, that's my pet. Nice and wet now." With that Spike moved back up the boy's body. He positioned himself over the hard shaft and then gently eased down, taking the boy completely into his ass. Xander felt himself harden to almost impossible stiffness as he pictured doing just that, burying himself completely in Spike. He began to move in time to the thrusting on the screen, Spike riding the boy hard, the boy pulling against the ropes, chafing his wrists. Xander saw Spike's eyes close, saw him reach down and release one of the boy's hands, simply ripping the rope away.
"There pet, right there, just like that." Spike wrapped the boy's hand around his own cock and the boy began to pump. Spike's head rolled back again and Xander swore he heard Spike gasp. He pulled off the boy just as the boy spurted high in the air, just as Spike himself came in long gushes up the boy's stomach, just as Xander tightened his grip and felt the shudders wash over him. He slumped back against the couch, all his bones suddenly turning to water.
Spike tilted his head, breathing in deeply, a knowing grin crossing his face. He could smell the whelp down the hall. It was fairly obvious what had kept Xander home, alone, on a fine Saturday night. Spike moved down the hallway, faintly hearing movement in Xander's apartment. It sounded like someone was, well, mopping the floor. That was odd. Or maybe not. Spike's grinned widened. He was bored. Bored out of his mind. There had been nothing worth killing tonight, just some fledglings. No wonder the whelp had called earlier and bailed on patrol, must have known that his pastime would be more fun. Spike had pestered the rest of the gang for a while, until even their banter had worn thin. He had decided to see just what Xander was doing, shutting himself away alone on a weekend like this. Besides, he could always get a rise out of the boy and that should be good for some laughs.
Spike pounded on the door. "Whelp, I know you're there. Open the door." He heard the muffled curse and then suddenly the door was yanked open. He grinned again when he saw the look of shock on Xander's face. He took in the flushed cheeks, the disheveled hair. Even without the strong scent, it would have been obvious what Xander had been doing.
"So, pet, would ask what you were," a significant pause as Spike looked Xander over from head to toe, "up to, so to speak. But that seems fairly clear. Must be shitty to go back to Mr. Hand after that demon bint." 
Xander just stared back. Spike was standing in his doorway. Spike. Actual Spike. Real Spike. Starting to get pissed off Spike. 
"Pet, are you going to move or what? Don't fancy standing in your hallway all evening."
Xander felt the blood rush to his face, well, mostly his face when he heard the words. **Spike called me pet** He just stared a moment more, then an evil grin crossed his face. 
"Oh sure, Spike, come on in. Been wanting to talk to you lately myself." 
Xander watched as Spike strode in, as always with the air that he owned whatever room he occupied. Xander padded to the kitchen, grabbing beer for them both, pausing for a moment to swipe the box for Boys In Blue from off the top of the television. He came back, handed Spike a beer, waited until Spike took a good hard pull and then held up the box.
"Hey Spike, I never knew you had such hidden talents."
He was rewarded by the sudden spray of beer that shot out of Spike's mouth.

Part Three  

Xander calmly wiped the beer off his face as he grinned at the sputtering vampire. Of all the fantasies he had entertained about Spike, the number of which had grown exponentially over the last week, this was his longest standing and most cherished. To embarrass Spike. To make him stutter and sputter. For just one moment to shake that absolute assurance he wrapped himself in. For heaven's sake, it looked like Spike was blushing, well at least there was some faint hint of color to his cheeks. Of course, that may just have been from the coughing fit.
Spike finally settled down, casting a dark glance in Xander's direction. "Not bloody fair, shouldn't choke when you don't have to breathe." His frown grew as Xander started to laugh. He watched, growing angrier and angrier as Xander laughed harder and harder, finally needing to hold onto the kitchen counter to stand. 
"Christ, Spike, the look on your face. . ." Xander finally managed to wheeze out. "Oh, wish you photographed, hell, should have filmed it, even better." Xander wiped at the tears in his eyes, panting a little. 
Spike just shot him another angry glare, then, with a quick shake of his head, the familiar cockiness slammed back into him.
"Well, I might have hidden talents, but, you, luv, you some hidden secrets as well." Spike reached down to pick up the box from where Xander had placed it on the counter. "Yes, I remember this well. Had William in it, always thought it was funny, that, me fucking William." Spike moved forward, slowly crowding Xander into the living room. "So, watching the fellas go at it are we, thought there was always something a little off about you. Like the lads, do we? Nothing wrong with that, just afraid the Slayer won't approve? She had enough problems with the witches, don't want to get on her bad side, that it?"
Xander suddenly felt himself tumble over the edge of the couch, unaware that Spike had backed him straight against it. He fell completely over, hitting his head on the floor with a thud. 
"Ow, not nice, Spike. No, I'm not gay, not completely straight either, maybe just a little, well, bent." Xander moved to sit on the couch, Spike coming immediately over and sitting on the other end.
"Mind my asking, pet," Spike's eyebrow arched as he felt the sudden rush of heat radiate from the boy at that word, "but just how did you discover my deep dark secret?" The last words were flavored with so much sarcasm that Xander thought he could cut it with a knife.
Xander swallowed hard. This was not going as he planned. He thought Spike would be embarrassed, thought he would finally have some blackmail to hold over the vampire. Spike, on the other hand, seemed as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to have made adult movies. 
"Well, Anya convinced me to rent some movies and she liked to watch men have sex, said it really got her going, which I still don't understand, thought she hated men, I mean I thought that she would really like to watch two women. Well, anyway, she picked some stuff out and I found that I liked it too and when she left I was, well, lonely, is the best way to put it so I rented some movies last week and was watching and all of a sudden there you were and I was stunned and then I checked and found out you were in a whole bunch and I got some more because I just couldn't believe it, I thought you wouldn't show up on film and well, that's about it." **Sounding like Willow there, smooth Harris, real smooth**
Spike just quirked another eyebrow at this, enjoying the flustered words and the way the blood rushed to the boy's face. The boy had quite a lovely face **and quite a lovely ass and aren't you glad now that you looked before** and the faint flush to his skin was causing Spike to picture just what the flush looked like on the rest of him under those awful, awful clothes.
"I see. So, you saw me in a pornographic movie you rented and then went out and rented more with me in them. Ah, luv, didn't know you cared. So, where exactly in Sunnyhell do I go to get these, haven't seen them in years, should be good for a laugh." 
"Well, actually," Xander stuttered out, "I kinda rented them online."
Spike stared at him for a moment, then grinned again. "Bloody hell, you really can get anything online."
Spike moved to the television, seeing the boxes stacked there. "Let's see how your taste is, then shall we, pet." He emphasized the last word, seeing the title on the tape sitting on top of the VCR. "The Pet, that was quite fun, had that whole bondage, domination thing, Basic Training - never did like those, hate wearing green, even if it is only for a few minutes. Besides, it looks like you saw those already. Just have to go with this one then." With that, he inserted Boys In Blue then plopped back down on the couch next to Xander, sitting slightly closer this time. He ignored the startled look Xander shot him and smirked as the video started.
"Yes, now that would be William, lovely boy, tasted so sweet." It was the same man who had been in the cage before Xander realized with a start. He felt the blood rush to his face when the man turned back around. He looked A LOT like Xander and Xander cringed, waiting for what he knew would come next.
"Never thought about that before, but he does look an awful lot like you. Wonder just how strong a resemblance there is." Oh, this had been a bloody fabulous idea to come to the whelp's. Spike couldn't remember the last time he had this much fun. The heat coming from Xander poured over Spike and he shifted ever, ever so slightly closer on the couch. He noticed that Xander was staring firmly at the screen, attempting to ignore him. Spike knew, however, that he was really hanging on Spike's every word.
Spike leaned back, the first faint stirring of arousal coming over him as he watched himself kiss William on the telly. It was an odd feeling, watching himself kiss, but a pleasant one. **Always were a narcissist, mate.** 
"Now, you see how he's kissing me, that's nothing, you see for the video you have to make sure they can see everything. When he would kiss me when we were alone, he did this bloody marvelous thing with his tongue where he would run it along my palate just inside my top row of teeth. He could do amazing things with his tongue, dear William could, things just like, well, that, not to put too fine a point on it." Spike tilted his head sideways, watching as William began lapping at his nipples. He stirred slightly, the memory of the feel coming over him.
"Bet your little demon did that, seemed like she was a kinky fuck. I would be too if I lived that long, need something extra to get you going. But there's nothing like a man's mouth on you, luv, men's tongues are just so much bigger, stronger, wetter, can take the whole nipple into your mouth and just suck and suck." Spike pitched his voice low, almost purring. He could smell the pheromones pouring off Xander. It was obvious that the boy really, really enjoyed this. 
Spike grinned when he saw William move down his body. He grew harder, knowing just what that mouth could do. 
"Not the only thing men are better at. Please, pet, would you rather have some bint dropping down just to get you to do the same, some chit who doesn't know what you really like? Wouldn't you rather have a man, someone who knows just when to suck, when to lick," Spike licked his lips which had suddenly gone dry, momentarily losing his train of thought as William took his entire shaft down his throat. Spike coughed, trying to regain his thoughts. "Not everyone can do that though, deep throating takes practice." A lazy smile crossed his face. "And my, did we practice." He watched Xander shift on the couch, saw the huge bulge in his pants. Spike couldn't tell if it was his words, or the sights on the screen or the combination of both that was getting Xander so aroused, but, whatever it was, it was truly working for the boy. His eyes, so dark in the first place, were nearly black and a faint sheen of sweat covered his skin. Spike felt his eyes begin to glaze. The boy was lovely, so lovely, so delicious. He shook his head sharply again and carefully inched closer.
They watched in silence for a moment as William began to stroke Spike's balls, never stopping his firm sucking on the vampire's shaft. "Helps to use your hands when you do that, might want to remember that, pet." Spike whispered softly. He knew, how he could not tell, that the boy was still a virgin. At least when it came to men. A virgin. How sweet. What a lovely fruit to taste. Spike's eyes narrowed. Yes, and it would be his and he would be damned if it would be anyone else's.
"Especially when your hand does that." They watched as William pulled away briefly, sucked his finger, then curled his hand around the curve of Spike's hip, slowly pushing the finger up Spike's ass. Spike inhaled sharply in time with his version on screen. **Too bloody long since someone did THAT** He noticed that Xander's eyes were wide and that he was panting. Xander hadn't reached out to touch himself though and Spike spared a moment to wonder why. Embarrassed, humiliated, too hard. Glancing down, he nodded. Too hard to touch, didn't want to come yet. Or didn't want to come in front of him. Well, Spike was determined to change that. He inched yet closer to Xander, able to feel the heat, mere inches separating them.
They watched as William suddenly pulled away and then lay back, shamelessly spreading himself wide. Xander's breath began to catch as he saw Spike lean over, saw Spike pull William's legs over his shoulders, saw Spike begin to enter the man who looked just like him.
"Never felt that, have you, luv, never known what it was like to be filled. You'll love it, I swear." Spike reached out a careful hand and ran it down the side of Xander's neck, the merest trace of a touch. He felt Xander buck next to him, watched Xander throw his head back, exposing his throat. Spike listened raptly to the sounds of Xander's orgasm, drinking them in, knowing he would be playing this scene over and over in his mind in just a few minutes time. **So beautiful, so beautiful** 
Xander panted, embarrassment washing over him for just a moment. He just came in front of Spike. Listening to Spike's voice. Watching Spike on television. Feeling the coolness of the touch. He kept his head resting on the back of the couch, unwilling to open his eyes just yet, not wanting to see the scorn on Spike's face. He started when he felt the cool whisper of lips on his.
"Night, luv. This was fun. Have to do it again some time, say tomorrow? I'll be here at 11:00." Xander felt the cool touch of a cheek next to his ear and cracked open an eye just in time to see the swirl of black leather curve out the door.
Spike leaned against the wall outside the apartment, shaky hands lighting a cigarette. **Right, get to the car, find some dark spot, toss off. Right, simple plan. Requires walking though** He leaned against the wall and exhaled slowly. Calming slightly, he moved stiff legged down the hall, feeling the heat begin to build as he started counting the seconds until tomorrow night.

Part Four  

Xander ran his hands through his hair yet again as he watched the seconds
tick by on the clock. 10:58. He had briefly considered not being there
when Spike was due to arrive, but the rational part of his brain had
provided him with a long, long list of reasons why that would be a very,
very bad idea, not the least of which was the absolute knowledge that
Spike would not hesitate for an instant in telling all his friends exactly
what had happened in great and explicit detail. So, the best possible
solution was this. Meet Spike and see what evil plan the vampire had in
mind.

He looked quickly around the apartment, making sure that everything had
been put away. The movies had been dropped in the mail that morning, he
had locked all the copies of the footage he had taken of Spike in a
footlocker which he had then lugged up to his storage area then he had
cleaned. The apartment actually hadn’t looked this nice since Anya left.

He glanced in the mirror, straightening out his hair. He looked nice, but
not any nicer than usual. He had made sure of that. He didn’t want Spike
thinking this was a date or anything. He didn’t want himself thinking
that either. 10:59. His heart began to pound as he strained to listen
for footsteps in the hall. 11:00. He jumped back when the loud knocks
rattled the door. With shaky hands, he reached for the doorknob.

“‘Lo there mate, so how are you this lovely evening. Looking well, glad
to see you and all that.”

Spike breezed into the apartment, smoke trailing behind him, perfectly at
ease. He had looked forward to this all day, a plan having formed in his
mind. He knew that Xander expected him to attempt some type of blackmail
or some type of blatant seduction. That was too crude for his tastes. 
Despite his well deserved reputation for having a serious impulse control
problem, he could be patient when it served his desires. And it had been
quite some time since Spike had taken the time to truly draw someone under
his thrall. And Xander, well, Xander would be worth the time and effort. 
Spike had always been attracted to the boy. Hells, he had a fixation on
tall, dark, beautiful men. And Xander certainly fit that description. 
The fact that he was one of the Slayer’s pets just added to the thrill. 
So, once he had finally managed to make it back to the crypt, he had
settled down on his bed and thought. From Xander’s reaction last night,
Spike knew that it wouldn’t be that hard to simply take the boy to bed. 
But that would be too simple. Besides, he didn’t want just a one shot
shag, no, not when he could have himself a toy. Seeing William again on
the screen had stirred long ignored desires. He had forgotten just how
sweet it felt to sink into the flesh of another male, had forgotten what
it felt like to feel someone plunge into him. Now that the fire had been
banked, he was ready to let it burn.

“Spike, um, hi, do you, um, do you want something to, to drink, or
something?” Xander stuttered out as he paced back into the living room,
unconsciously backing away from Spike.

Spike just quirked an eyebrow at Xander, sensing the fear mixed with
excitement coming from the boy. “Beer would be good, pet.” Spike moved
over to lean against the back of the couch while Xander pulled the bottle
from the refrigerator. Xander handed it over, careful not to touch Spike
when he did so.

“So, luv, realized that you never got to ask me all the questions that you
must have had the other night, so ask away, I’m an open book.” A grin at
that as Spike took a swallow from the bottle.

Xander just stared at him, opened mouthed, Spike was going to answer
questions? Had the world ended without anyone bothering to tell him? 
Xander took his own pull from his beer, trying to calm his nerves.

“Well, I guess, just wanted to know, well, where, why, when, all those
questions, I guess.” That wasn’t truly what he wanted to ask, but it was
a start. Xander just leaned on the counter while Spike continued to lean
on the couch, fully aware that he was making sure to keep space between
himself and the vampire. He had tossed and turned all night, his flesh
burning from Spike’s light touch on his neck and the faint trace of
Spike’s lips on his. It wasn’t even really a kiss, more like the merest
brush of skin on skin, but it was all Xander could do to keep from staring
at Spike’s mouth as the vampire began to speak.

“Dunno exactly when it was, probably about fifteen, twenty years or so
ago. Dru and I were in Amsterdam, great city that, can get anything you
want, anything at all. And most of it is legal. Not that that ever
bothered me, but it was nice every once in a while to pretend that we were
good, upstanding, law abiding citizens.” A smirk at that, another quick
drink and Spike continued.

“Bit short on dosh, were having some disputes with Peaches over access to
some old accounts, and had taken to doing the old bump and pinch. Well,
we had gotten a hold of some rich tosser’s wallet and had a nice stash, so
we went out to one of Dru’s favorite bars, nice little leather club. She
found it amusing to watch the amateurs go at it. Well, one thing led to
another and we were all set to have a nice shag against the back wall,
when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Whirled around, managed to not rip the
fucker’s throat out by dint of having both hands up Dru’s skirt. It was
the owner who said he had a bit of a proposition for us. Seems he had
been watching and was suitably impressed by our performance. Made us an
offer, be in a few films, give us a nice bit of quid, have a bit of fun. 
Well, sounded good, weren’t sure if we would film, but sounded like a
plan. Course, wasn’t about to let Dru do it. Not so much that I would
mind, she was mine there was no doubt about that and her playing with some
humans would have been quite amusing for us both. But Dru had a nasty
habit of draining her toys, couldn’t help it, she always bit when she
climaxed.” Spike paused for a moment as a wistful smile crossed his face,
remembering all the times she had bit him. He took another quick drink
before he started thinking too hard about his dark princess. Never went
well, that.

“So, I agreed to do it, sounded like fun. Didn’t matter to me if was lads
or lasses, all just a bit of fun. Found out we showed up on tape,” he
raised his hand to forestall the question on Xander’s lips. “No, have no
idea why. Started, found I had, shall we say an affinity for it, helps
not to have any shame. Met William that way, he was a bit of all right. 
Worked well together, the contrast between us looked fabulous, him so dark
and me so light. Made quite a bit of money, we did.” Spike pulled out a
cigarette and twirled it in his fingers for a moment, remembering the
sound of William’s voice, the smoothness of his lips under Spike’s, the
heat of his body. He quickly lit the cigarette and took a long drag,
trying to push away the memories.

“So, if you enjoyed it so much, why did you stop?” Xander just stared at
Spike, amazed at how much of his past Spike had just revealed. Thinking
back, he realized that he had just learned more about Spike in the last
few minutes than he had in the last few years combined.

Spike just blew a stream of smoke at the ceiling, a sad smile on his face.
“William died. Left Amsterdam after that.” He cursed himself when he
heard the note of sadness that had unwittingly crept into his voice.

“Oh, I’m, well, sorry,” Xander managed to get out, shocked by the
unmistakable grief apparent on Spike’s face. “How, did Dru, was she,”
Xander started, unsure of how to continue without angering Spike.

“No, nothing like that. Hit by a lorry crossing the street.” Another
lopsided smile crossed Spike’s face. “Funny that, he was living with two
vampires and a bloody lorry runs him down.”

“Sorry, really, that must have been hard.” Xander truly meant it. It was
apparent that William had meant something to Spike.

Spike just nodded, taking another long pull on the bottle. He thought
briefly of all he was leaving out. How William had been crossing the
street to see him; how he had waved and came running, not bothering to
look; how Spike had watched in horror as William’s body flew through the
air; how Dru had ripped him off William’s body, preventing him for turning
his lover, the vicious, jealous words streaming in his ear; how he had
listened to William’s heart stop; how the blood had poured that night as
Spike killed anything and everything in his path; how Dru had danced and
danced on the pier; claiming the stars had told her that the man was
trying to take her Spikey away and how the stars had granted her wish; how
they fled for somewhere, anywhere else the next night.

“Long time ago, don’t really think about it often. Didn’t even know you
could still get the films.” An evil grin crossed his face. “Can we buy
them from wherever you got them, make a nice present for my trotting Sire,
remind him of what he can’t have anymore.”

Xander grinned back, that was actually a pretty good idea. He shook his
head fiercely, knowing that there was no way they could do that without
Angel realizing where they had come from and then Buffy would be peeved
and that would be of the bad.

“Probably, but I’m not going to do it, Buffy would be pissed and then I’ll
have to keep her from staking you and killing me and just not in the mood
for that.”

Spike pouted briefly, then took a step forward. “So, pet, told you my
dark past, now, have some questions for you. You just using that demon
bint for cover or did you just now discover you have,” a long pause,
“different tastes?” Spike was truly interested, he had never noticed
Xander looking at men, only women and was curious as to just what the boy
had done. Just how much of a virgin he was.

“No, not cover, I’ve never,” Xander quickly cleared his throat as Spike
took another step towards him. “I never really thought about men that
way, at least, not until Anya,” he began to blush as Spike took another
small step forward.

“Until she what, luv, rented some films? Made some suggestions? Played
with a few toys?” With each question, Spike moved forward until he was
standing directly in front of Xander, just slightly closer than
comfortable. “What, did she have you watch the boys while she slowly,
slowly eased a finger in your ass? Did she use one of her precious toys
on you? Just what made you realize that you aren’t quite the perfect
heterosexual you always thought?”

Xander had been staring straight into Spike’s eyes the entire time,
feeling like a rodent caught by a snake. He tried to lean back further,
but Spike simply followed his movements. A shudder ran through him as he
thought of Anya, how she had slowly drawn him out, opening him gently,
carefully. How it had felt the first time she pressed the dildo into him,
telling him to watch the men, watch them, see how much they liked it. How
he had thought back to Larry and the frantic kisses they had shared. How
he climaxed furiously ever time she did it.

Spike just watched, smelling the arousal pouring off Xander. He clenched
and unclenched his hands, growing harder and harder himself. He forced
himself to concentrate on his plan in order to stop from just taking
Xander then and there. No, not yet, not quite yet. Make Xander come to
him, make Xander want it so much it hurt. Draw it out, torture them both.
It would be so much sweeter that way.

“So, only ever pretended with your little demon girl?” Spike paused as
Xander suddenly looked away. “Ah, not quite it, so what have you done,
where, why, when, all those questions,” Spike echoed Xander’s words,
swaying in a little closer still.

“Just, there was this guy, Larry, in high school, right before graduation
and, well, he and I, we just made out, just kissed that was all, well
kissed and groped a little, but that’s all, I never even touched him.” 
Xander whispered, unable to look up. He didn’t trust himself so close to
those perfect, pale lips, the lips that had plagued his every thought,
waking and sleeping.

“Just kissed. But you liked it. Don’t lie, I can tell. You liked it. 
Haven’t you ever wondered if you were missing something, if you liked just
kissing that much, how good would the rest of it be? Aren’t you tired of
just watching, don’t you want to find out, know first hand just what it’s
like?” Spike moved so that he was mere inches from Xander, his face
pressed into the boy’s cheek as he whispered in his ear. “Please, pet,
don’t lie to me. You never have to lie to me. I understand.” He pulled
back so that he was staring into Xander’s eyes, feeling the warm breath on
his face. “Don’t you want to know?” With that, Spike leaned forward and
kissed him.

Xander automatically closed his eyes when he felt Spike’s lips on his,
automatically opened his mouth when he felt that cool tongue trace the
outline of his upper lip. He groaned deep in the back of his throat as he
felt Spike’s hands rest on his waist and Xander automatically wrapped his
own arms around Spike’s shoulders, letting his hands run freely along the
firm back. Spike tasted of beer and cigarettes and copper. It was the
most addicting thing he had ever tasted. Finally, too soon, much too
soon, he was forced to pull back, forced to breathe. He kept his eyes
closed as he rested his cheek against Spike’s.

Spike tightened his grasp on Xander’s waist for just a moment, burning the
feel of Xander’s erection into his memory for later. Reluctantly he
pulled away, knowing that if he didn’t stop now, he wouldn’t stop.

“See, luv, knew you would like it.” Spike’s voice was rich with desire. 
He took another step back, forcibly yanking his eyes away from the vision
of Xander’s swollen lips.

“Have to go, Xander.” 

Xander’s eyes opened at that. It was the first time he could ever
remember hearing Spike use his name. He just nodded, looking away,
ashamed at how hard he was, at how desperately he had responded to the
kiss.

Spike reached out and took Xander’s chin in his hand, forcing Xander to
look in his eyes. “I have to meet someone at Willy’s or I would stay. 
Trust me, I want to stay.” That part wasn’t a lie. He could still taste
Xander and was already sorry that he was going to be forced to eat, forced
to wash that taste out with the bitter taste of pig’s blood. His eyes
darkened as he saw the Xander’s expression change, saw the shame replaced
by desire. He leaned in and chanced one last, quick kiss. It was just as
sweet as before and over much, much too soon. He forced himself back,
ducking his hands in the pockets of the duster to hide their shaking. 
Xander trailed him to the door, too stunned to speak.

“See you tomorrow, then? Same time?” Spike heard the hope in his voice
and damned himself a thousand times a fool.

“Yeah, I would like that. See you tomorrow.” Spike just nodded and
slipped out the door, not daring to look back. He practically ran down
the hall, knowing that if he hesitated, even for a moment, he would just
turn around, kick in the door and finish what they started. He tore out
of the parking lot, desperately thinking of the best place to find
something to kill. This time just tossing off wasn’t going to ease his
frustration.

Xander leaned against the door for a long, long time, the coolness of the
wood reminding him of Spike’s touch. He liked the kiss. No, he loved the
kiss. He moved back to the kitchen and opened a drawer as he searched
for the key to the storage room. He hoped he remembered which tape it was
that had the shot he had managed to get of Spike smiling at him. He knew
he would need it. He looked at the clock again, watching the second pass,
counting them off in his head. Only another 23 hours, 32 minutes, 36, 35,
34 seconds. He hoped he could make it until then.

Part Five  

Xander sneaked another quick peek at his watch. A low groan escaped him. 
10:35 p.m. There was no way he was going to make it back to his apartment
in time to meet Spike now. And there was no way that he could simply get
up and leave without everyone taking notice and asking questions. So,
instead of being back in his home doing whatever it was that he was doing
with Spike, he was stuck here, listening to Giles go on and on about some
prophecy or other. He had quit paying attention about an hour before,
choosing instead to lose himself in memories of the night before. Spike
kissed him. He kissed Spike back. He liked it. He liked it a lot. He
wanted to do it again as soon and as much as possible.

Xander shifted slightly in his seat, attempting to at least give the
appearance of paying attention. He had spent the day in a slight daze,
not really paying attention to what was going on around him, more caught
up by the questions swirling in his mind. Why was Spike doing this? Why
was he letting Spike do this? Why wasn’t he more freaked out by the fact
that he was in lust with a vampire? A male vampire? A male vampire who
happened to have tried to kill him several times in the past? That was
what interested him the most, why he wasn’t freaked out. He had finally
given up, tired of trying to make sense of it all. Stranger things had
happened to him, well, not much stranger, but stranger nonetheless. At
least this weirdness involved pleasure and not pain.

Although that might be changing soon. Spike would shortly be showing up
to an empty apartment, and Xander knew that he would not be pleased. 
Xander realized with a start that he was assuming that Spike was going to
show up. It was much more likely that Spike had simply been toying with
him and that the vampire wouldn’t even show, instead choosing to leave
Xander there, waiting and watching, tossing it back into his face the next
time he saw Spike. Xander could practically hear the mocking voice,
“What, pet, didn’t think I was serious now did you, just a bit of fun,
that, nothing to get worked up about.” Xander’s face darkened as the
thought fixed itself more firmly in his mind. So, that was the game. It
was bad enough that he was a joke to his friends, didn’t have to be a joke
to fangless vampires as well. He reached out and grabbed a piece of paper
off the table, beginning to tear it into little pieces. Here he was, all
worked up over some game that Spike was playing. Well, fuck that, he
wasn’t just going to stand by and let himself be played yet again. He
looked down, an embarrassed flush spreading up the back of his neck. And
to think that he had taken the time to find something nice to wear,
wanting Spike to find him attractive. Just his fucking luck, get his
hopes up only to have them battered right back down.

“Evening, luv, you’re looking well.” The low voice in his ear jerked him
out of his stupor.

“Spike, what are you doing here,” he managed to get out just before Buffy
came over and yanked the vampire away.

“Yeah, Spike, what are you doing here, don’t remember asking you to come,”
Buffy hissed out, a stake hovering over Spike’s chest.

“Bloody hell, can’t a bloke drop in to visit his mates without everyone
acting all suspicious,” Spike said, taking a step back and raising his
hands. “What?” Incredulous looks had greeted his statement.

“Spike, we aren’t your,” Giles stopped, sighing. No, he was not going to
even begin to get drawn into this discussion with the vampire. There was
no way it would lead anywhere but to violence. And he didn’t want to have
to rearrange the room yet again. “What is it that you want?”

A smile flitted across Spike’s face as he shot a quick glance over to
Xander, his eyes darting so quickly that no one noticed. “No blood at the
crypt, wondered if any of you lot had some left.” He looked over at
Xander and raised an eyebrow. “How about you, whelp, have any blood left
in that fridge of yours?” He locked eyes with Xander, hoping the message
was coming through.

“What, well, I don’t think,” Xander started, staring back at Spike. He
saw the look of frustration on the vampire’s face and grinned suddenly. 
“You know what, as a matter of fact, pretty sure that I do.” He pushed
away from the table, stretching out the kinks in his back. “C’mon, I’ll
take you back, be glad to have it gone.”

“Xander, you sure about that?” Buffy asked, watching Spike with narrowed
eyes.

“Sure, Buff, you don’t need me for this. And as much as I would like to
stay and hear all about some five hundred year old prophecy that may or
may not mean that the Hellmouth is or is not going to open, well, actually
rather take my chances with Spike, now that I think about it.” Xander
grabbed his keys and walked towards the doors. “Ladies, G-man, call you
tomorrow, Spike, you coming with?”

Spike followed him out the door, pride swelling in him. Very good, his
pet was catching on quickly. He quickened his step, moving to walk right
next to Xander.

“How did you know I was stuck here,” Xander asked, not looking over,
trying to get his heartbeat under control. It infuriated him that Spike
could sense precisely what affect Spike’s presence had on him, while he
was clueless as to what was going on behind those eyes.

“On my way over, saw your car, figured the Watcher was nattering on and on
and you could use some rescuing.” Spike shrugged, lighting a cigarette. 
Wouldn’t do to let the boy know that he had been following him ever since
he left the apartment. He had been standing in the shadows in the back of
the store ever since Xander had arrived. He had spent the past few hours
just watching and listening, puzzling out what it was about Xander that
drew him. It hadn’t helped when some snarky little voice in his head kept
saying “everything, you like everything, you like him, not just his ass”. 
No, hadn’t helped at all. He thought he was going to lose all control as
he watched Xander habitually gnaw at his lower lip while going through the
books, a look of intense concentration on his face. Spike wanted nothing
more at that moment than to be the one chewing on that full lip while
slowly, so slowly unbuttoning the shirt, pulling it free from the jeans
that Xander wore, allowing him to feel the heat of Xander’s skin burning
into his hands. Spike shook his head, clearing away the image. Not
helping with his vow to move slowly, not at all. He took a huge drag on
the cigarette, exhaling the smoke slowly, allowing the motion to calm him.

“Two cars or one,” Xander asked as they stopped at his car, trying to keep
his voice level. So, Spike wasn’t going to leave him hanging, wasn’t
going to taunt him like that. He felt a quick sliver of guilt at his
earlier assumptions. Gods, when was he going to realize he wasn’t some
stupid teenager anymore and that it was entirely possible that someone
could actually be attracted to him. Of course, the guilt was tempered by
knowledge that, well, it was possible that Spike would just leave him
hanging, so his assumption hadn’t been entirely off base.

“Two, don’t want to have to come back, might run into those friends of
yours,” Spike answered, looking away quickly to keep from simply grabbing
Xander right there on the street. Not the most appropriate of places to
start that.

Xander nodded then got in and pulled away, looking in the mirror to make
sure that Spike was following. Sure enough, there he was. They quickly
made their way back to Xander’s apartment, Spike pulling in right next to
Xander. They wordlessly made their way up the stairs, not touching, but
walking just a little too closely together. Xander unlocked the apartment
and Spike walked in behind him, pulling the door closed as he did so.

The second Xander heard the door latch he whirled around and pinned Spike
to the door, hungrily seeking out Spike’s mouth. Spike went still for a
moment, shocked, then returned the kiss with equal fervor. Xander’s hands
moved under the duster and began to run along Spike's sides, low moans
escaping from his lips, humming along their mouths. Spike answered in
kind, losing himself to the kiss, to the fire of Xander’s mouth and hands,
feeling the heat rising between them. Their tongues dueled, neither
claiming victory over the other, rather, they stood toe to toe, each
trying to pull the other into him. Spike’s hands dropped to Xander’s
waist and he gave himself over to his fantasy, tugging the shirt from
Xander’s jeans and finally, finally running his hands over the broad back.

Xander leaned back, arching into the touch. He hadn’t been able to stop
himself, hadn’t wanted to, didn’t plan on trying. He wanted nothing more
than this all day and, during the drive back to the apartment, he had
decided that for once in his life he was just going to take what he
wanted, consequences be damned. He ripped his mouth from Spike’s,
ignoring Spike’s low growl as he began kissing down Spike’s neck, gently
nipping around to the front of Spike’s throat. He traced his tongue along
Spike’s adam’s apple, drinking in the moan that escaped Spike’s lips,
feeling Spike’s erection pressed into his thigh.

Spike managed to pull away with presence of mind he didn’t know he
possessed. “So, pet, guess you haven’t been sitting around all day doing
your best impression of Peaches, moping about and all that.” Spike had
expected almost any reaction but this, hadn’t dared to think that Xander
could want this so much.

“Nope, decided I don’t really care what horrible plan you have in mind or
just what it is that you’re up to, Spike. Don’t really feel like thinking
right now. Don’t feel like talking either,” Xander’s eyes were gleaming
in the darkness of the apartment. He hadn’t bothered to leave a light on
and he could just barely make out the planes of Spike’s face. He reached
a finger up and traced it across Spike’s lips. “Whatever it is, I like
it. Figured you did too. I like, you like, don’t want to think anymore
than that.” He leaned down and began sucking on Spike’s neck, intent on
working a mark into that pale flesh, no matter how quickly it would fade.

Spike’s head dropped back, slamming into the door as Xander’s teeth
burrowed into his skin. He knew he should pull away, knew that if he
didn’t then this was going to spin out of control. He knew, but he didn’t
care. He wanted Xander and it was plain that Xander wanted him. He
pushed off the door and started to walk them back to the couch, knowing
that the bedroom was simply too far away. Xander backed along with him,
never moving away from the spot on Spike’s neck. Spike turned and then
tumbled back onto the couch, dragging Xander’s body on top of him.

Xander finally lifted his head from Spike’s neck, moving to rest more
comfortably on Spike, moving to nestle in between Spike’s legs. His
breath caught as their pelvises hit, hard length rubbing on hard length. 
He reached up and turned on a light on the end table next to Spike’s head,
blinking at the sudden brightness.

“Bloody hell, Xander, what did you do that for,” Spike yelled out, dazzled
by the light.

“Sorry, just, wanted to see you is all, don’t have super vamp sight,
remember.” Xander said quietly, moving back down and tracing his fingers
over Spike’s cheek. He needed to see Spike, needed to make sure this was
real and not just another vivid fantasy.

“Oh,” Spike replied, at a loss for words. It wasn’t what Xander had said
so much as the tone of his voice. It was clear that Xander wanted to see
him, wanted to make sure that it was real. If so, then it meant that
Xander wanted to confirm that it was him, not pretend that it wasn’t. 
“Have to say, like what I see, Xander.” Spike looked up, soaking in the
dark eyes and sweaty hair, feeling sweet breath on his cheek.

“Likewise. Want to see more though.” Xander leaned up and started to
pull at the duster, growling a little in frustration as the coat caught on
Spike’s arms, caught under Spike’s back. He pulled back and settled onto
his heels, trying to pull Spike up so that he could get those damned
clothes off him. Not that Spike wasn’t sublimely sexy in them, it was
just that Xander wanted to see how much sexier he was without them.

Spike grabbed Xander’s hands, halting him. “You sure about this, Xander?”
Spike focused on looking deeply into those rich brown pools, trying to
ignore the overwhelming scent of lust pouring down. This was going much,
much more quickly than he had ever anticipated, and he wanted to make sure
that Xander was ready for this. For once he wasn’t just going to take
momentary pleasure. He wanted Xander, not once, but as his, and, no
matter how hard it was, he was going to do this right.

“Fuck right, I’m sure. Spike, please, just shut up and get naked.” 
Xander grinned at the shock on Spike’s face. “What, not vamp enough,” he
started only to be suddenly pushed onto his back, Spike’s face inches from
his.

“Last chance, no games, Xander, tell me you want this. And no games, no
lies. Tell me.” Spike stared down, unable to keep the desire from
blazing in his eyes.

Xander stared back, then grinned happily. “Gods, love it when you say my
name. And it should be pretty obvious I want this.” He arched his hips
up, pressing himself into Spike, grinding slowly.

Spike eyes flared and then he shrugged out of the duster, tossing it
aside. He quickly peeled off both his shirts and leaned back down,
kissing Xander deeply. He stopped Xander’s hands from reaching down to
pull off his own shirt. “No, let me.” Spike eased the shirt up slowly,
gently running his hands along Xander’s chest, purring gently. Now that
he knew Xander wanted him, he was going to take his time, do this right. 
No matter how much he wanted to get right to business.

Xander lay back, relishing the sensation of Spike’s hands on his chest. 
He breathed slowly, trying to calm down, trying to relax. He was nervous
and excited and glad that Spike was taking the lead. Sure, he may have
watched Spike doing this over and over again trying to memorize Spike’s
every move, but, here, now, he had no idea what to do. He lifted his head
and shoulders enough to allow Spike to pull the shirt over his head.

Spike ran his hands lovingly down Xander’s chest, closely watching
Xander’s face, not wanting to move too quickly. Simple, keep everything
simple, there would be more than enough time for experimentation later. 
Right now, everything they did would be new to Xander. He bent down and
began kissing down Xander’s chest, burying his hands in Xander’s hair.

“Just relax, you’re fine, it’s all fine, nothing to worry about, tell me
if you want to stop, just relax,” the murmurs faintly rose to Xander’s
ears, but the words were meaningless, lost as he was in the feel of
Spike’s skin sliding down his, lost in the feel of Spike’s mouth on his
nipples. He reached out, running his hands down Spike’s back, little
keening sounds falling from his lips. He trailed his hands down Spike’s
back, then down Spike’s ass. He felt the shudder run through Spike and he
gripped harder, kneading and caressing the flesh beneath him. He moved
his hands up to Spike’s waist, trailing a finger under the waistband of
Spike’s jeans. He wasn’t surprised in the least to find no other fabric
meeting his hands. Somehow, he managed to work his hands down Spike’s
jeans and finally met the firm flesh with his hands.

Spike went still for just a moment, eyes rolling back in his head as
Xander rubbed his ass. He swallowed hard then slowly turned on his side,
feeling Xander’s hand trail around his stomach, finally feeling the heat
brush across the very tip of his erection. His hands moved to hover over
the fly of Xander’s jeans, waiting for permission. He buried his head
into Xander’s shoulder, biting down slightly in order to keep for spilling
into Xander’s hand. He was stunned by Xander’s boldness.

“Guess you do want this,” he managed to pant out as his control snapped. 
He quickly ripped Xander’s jeans open, pausing only for a moment when he
noticed that Xander was wearing no underwear.

“Thought boxers would just get in the way,” Xander gasped out, tracing a
hand over the ridges of Spike’s abdomen. He wanted to reach down and
stroke Spike, but was a little hesitant, not sure quite what to do. He
settled on unbuttoning Spike’s jeans, making sure to brush against Spike
with each button.

“Good thought, mate.” Spike replied, tugging Xander’s jeans down,
desperate to feel Xander pressed naked against him. Xander replied in
kind and they squirmed against each other, each trying to pull the other’s
clothes away. They quickly tangled together in a flailing mass of limbs
and denim. Xander started to laugh and, after a quick glare, Spike joined
him.

“Not usually best to laugh when pulling a bloke’s pant down, Xander,”
Spike spit out between chuckles.

“I know, just can’t get them down if you don’t move, or I don’t move, or,
well one of us has to move.” Xander replied, eyes crinkling up. In
reality, this was the best thing that could have happened, just a brief
pause, some humor lightening the intensity of the situation.

“Right, stay there.” Spike pressed a firm kiss into the center of
Xander’s chest, then sat back, pulling his jeans off. Xander looked
hungrily down Spike’s body, licking his lips at the pale, firm flesh
revealed before him. If he thought Spike was beautiful on screen, then
there were no words for how Spike looked now. He tore his eyes away and
leaned down to push his own jeans away, Spike helping pull them off his
feet. He couldn’t remember kicking off his shoes, but they were gone and
his jeans slid smoothly off his legs.

Spike looked down, memorizing the vision below him, the glow of the lamp
casting shadows across Xander’s body. Spike had time for one thought,
**why the fuck does he cover up THIS** before falling back down on
Xander’s body. Hands roamed everywhere as finally, finally their lengths
touched. They groaned, mouth to mouth, as they fell into rhythm, pumping
against one another.

Xander tried to stop, wanted to stop, wanted to take the firm length into
his mouth, but he couldn’t keep from moving, driving his hips up again and
again. Spike matched his movements, snaking a hand down to circle around
them. There would be time enough for all else later. Now, now, they
needed this. They drove faster and faster, until with a huge cry Xander
came, spilling into Spike’s hand, Spike following seconds later. Spike
collapsed down and Xander circled his arms around Spike’s waist. They
stayed like that for a few moments, until Xander felt Spike smile into his
neck.

“So, do you have any blood, feeling a bit peckish.”

Xander laughed as they slowly moved up, Spike reaching down and grabbing
his shirt, quickly cleaning them off.

“Not sure, how about pizza, I’ll call,” he reached for the phone, as
always starved after sex.

“Sounds good, Xander.” He rolled the name on his tongue, watching the
smile cross Xander’s face. He leaned over, pressed a quick kiss on
Xander’s cheek. “You call, I’ll start us a shower, get you clean.” **So
I can get you dirty again** Spike grinned at the thought of the
possibilities of Xander, soap and water.

“There in a second.” Xander called, watching Spike set off, naked, to his
bathroom. He knew he was grinning from ear to ear but he couldn’t help
it. Shaking his head quickly, he battled back the urge just to head after
Spike. No, call first, then join Spike. Needed nourishment so they could
start up again. **Glad I put those curtains on the windows** he thought
while waiting for the phone to be answered. He quickly placed the order,
hung up and practically ran for the bathroom, anxious to have that cold
flesh in his arms again.

Part Six  

Spike carefully tested the water, flinching back slightly as the icy
stream splashed up his arm. He adjusted the taps again, then cautiously
reached a hand in once more. A strong, hot stream caressed across his
skin. Just right. Of all the many things he missed about the mansion,
running water was near the top of his list. No matter how much he
cultivated the image of the Big Bad, he liked his comforts. Running
water, electricity, pizza delivery. He quickly located Xander’s towels
and stacked some on the toilet lid within easy reach. The click of the
phone reached his ear and he stepped under the water, wanting to catch
Xander by surprise, wanting to kiss him senseless before Xander started
regretting this evening. He wasn’t sure his boy would have regrets, but
he didn’t want to take the chance. Besides, he knew just how inviting he
could look with his hair matted around his head and water streaming down
his chest.

Xander hurried down the hall, anticipation curling through his body. Ah,
finally the vampire would actually be in his shower, not just there in his
imagination. The pale body had been his misty companion during many a
shower since the first night of watching him on that small screen. And
now, hopefully, it was actually there waiting for him. He opened the
door, the steam curling as he did so. He padded quietly over to the tub,
knowing that his idea of scaring Spike was futile, but wanting to try
anyway. He could just make out the trim figure through the shower curtain
and his eyes lit up as he dragged out the last seconds of anticipation. 
He reached a hand up to pull the curtain back only to let out a startled
yelp as his wrist was grabbed and he was unceremoniously yanked into the
shower.

“Xander, come on in, the water’s fine,” Spike grinned up at Xander,
batting long black lashes, laughter dancing in his eyes. A shock of hair
was plastered against his cheek and the rest tumbled over his eyes. He
looked disheveled, debauched and thoroughly content.
He gave Xander no chance, not a single moment to adjust before he pulled
them together into a fiery kiss, tongue tickling Xander’s palate, bringing
all his years of skill to bear until he felt Xander’s knees go weak, until
he knew, knew that Xander had no regrets, that Xander had never let even a
hint of regret cross his mind. He gentled the kiss, making it tender,
caring, calming them both, giving them both an opportunity to regroup. 
With one last caress, he pulled away.

Xander sucked in a breath and reached up both hands to stroke through the
soft tresses. The pale strands had deepened to a rich honey color. 
“Spike, wish you could see, great color,” Xander couldn’t stop running his
hands through Spike’s hair, hearing a low purr rising from Spike’s chest. 
Spike gently placed his hands on Xander’s waist and tugged him under the
spray, wanting to see Xander thoroughly wet, wanting to make Xander feel
as peaceful as he did. Xander’s hands slowly moved down to Spike’s
shoulders as he tugged the vampire forward, pulling him into a loose
embrace. They sighed together, content as the water streamed over them,
the only sounds the patter of the water as it struck their flesh, Xander’s
quiet breathing and Spike’s calm purring.

Spike finally pulled away, wanting to touch, to trace the firm flesh under
his fingers. “Pet, here, turn around,” he picked up the shampoo, smiling
slightly as he saw the small row of shampoo and bath gel still on the
shelf. Apparently, Xander’s demon girl had introduced to other little
luxuries as well. The clean scent filled the room as Spike poured the
shampoo in his hand, recapping the bottle, rubbed his palms together, then
set to work. Xander tilted his head back, eyes closed, a low rumble
coming from him as well. Spike’s fingers massaged into his scalp and the
rumbling increased, Xander leaning back harder into Spike’s chest. 
Somehow, this was even more intimate than feeling himself spill into
Spike’s hand, then feeling Spike’s seed shoot across his body. Perhaps it
was the surprising gentleness of Spike’s fingers, the way that it seemed
there was nothing in the world Spike wanted more than to be here, doing
this, at just this moment. Xander slowly began twisting his back on
Spike’s chest, the water soothing the friction between their skin. 
Spike’s skin was warming under the falling water and Xander wanted to warm
him even more. He felt Spike gently pull him back and Xander
automatically reached up, rinsing the shampoo from his hair.

Spike slowly gnawed on his lower lip as the muscles moved across Xander’s
back, the play of them tight under the skin. “So beautiful,” the words
escaped him without a thought and Spike felt the sudden hesitation as
Xander’s hands swiped the last of the shampoo from his hair. Suddenly, he
was pinned to the shower wall, Xander’s body pressed firmly against his.

“No, you are beautiful. Look at you, that perfect whiteness of your
skin,” Xander traced his tongue down Spike’s throat, feeling the sudden
swallow under his mouth. “So strong,” Xander’s mouth moved down to
Spike’s shoulders as the vampire’s eyes fell shut, a shiver running
through him even as the steam rose around them. “Love your collarbones,
always have, used to watch you fight just to see the fabric pull across
your chest, outlining the sharp line of the bone,” Xander’s voice was deep
as he traced the angular lines. “All sharp edges, perfect planes,” he
reached behind Spike, grabbing the shampoo himself. He spun the suddenly
quiet vampire back under the spray, flipping the cap open with one hand,
while tilting Spike chin up with the other. Water ran down Spike’s
forehead and dripped from his nose onto the full lips, catching briefly
there before running down Spike’s chest, catching in the ridges of his
abdomen before snaking down his legs. They were both hard again, both
beginning to pant slightly.

“Just want to return the favor,” Xander cleared his throat at the look of
pure desire that blazed through the slit of Spike’s eyes. Pulling Spike
flush against him, he began washing Spike’s hair, ridding it of the last,
faint traces of cigarette smoke. Spike growled low in his throat, rubbing
in the curve of Xander’s hip. Xander’s breath caught, and Spike slowed
his pace, not wanting either of them to lose control, not quite yet. 
Xander stepped back to let Spike rinse his hair, wanting to look, just
look for a long moment, faintly wishing he could film this. Not just for
the vision of Spike’s body, but for the tiny glimpses of happiness that
suddenly appeared and as abruptly vanished, wishing he could capture just
one of those split seconds when Spike’s guard was down. His quiet
thoughts were broken as Spike grabbed him yet again, pressing him hard
against the back wall of the shower.

“Stay there, don’t move.” Xander just nodded, as Spike stepped back,
eyeing him from head to toe. Spike’s eyes slowly turned a deeper shade of
blue as he spent long moments just staring at Xander, fixing the image in
his mind. Broad shoulder, broader than he let on. *Have to get him to
stop that bloody slouching* The thought ghosted through his mind and he
smiled slightly. A hand reached up and he ran it down Xander’s chest, so
warm and alive. He stopped and pressed his palm over Xander’s heart,
leaving it there, closing his eyes as he concentrated on feeling the
heartbeat in his palm, letting it run up his arm and pound into his own
body, the sound of the blood running in Xander’s veins singing in his
mind. He stepped closer, feeling Xander’s eyes on his face. They stared
at one another for countless heartbeats, feeling something else swirling
around them, something more than mere lust and passion. Xander brought
his hand up and pressed Spike’s hand closer, trapping Spike in layers of
golden flesh, feeling his pulse quicken as the still cool flesh burned
into him.

Spike slowly leaned in and just barely rested his lips against Xander’s,
less than a kiss, more than a touch, Xander’s breath filling his mouth. A
warm tongue traced his lower lip and he leaned in closer, their hands
falling away as Xander wrapped his arms around Spike’s back, Spike’s hands
resting on Xander’s shoulders. They kissed slowly, deeply, molding
together. Xander abruptly pushed away from the wall and forced Spike to
move back under the water, never breaking contact, the kiss continuing,
interrupted only for quick gulps of air for the mortal.

Xander finally wrenched his mouth away and he abruptly dropped to his
knees, hands sliding down to cup Spike’s ass as he did so, pulling Spike’s
cock into perfect position.
“Xander” he faintly heard moaned above him as he lowered his head and
pulled Spike into his mouth, trailing his tongue up and down the shaft,
one hand creeping around to fondle Spike’s balls, the other still rubbing
Spike’s ass.

“Bloody hell, Xan,” Spike panted out, shocked again at Xander’s boldness. 
He blindly stretched out an arm to brace himself against the shower wall,
fleetingly concerned that his knees would simply give way. Xander just
continued the firm suction, still able to faintly taste their combined
essences on Spike’s skin. A moan escaped him and vibrated along Spike’s
flesh, pulling a matching sound from Spike. The slim hips began to pump
and Xander moved his mouth in rhythm, matching Spike’s movement, taking in
more and more of Spike with each movement, wanting to devour Spike whole.

Spike felt his control beginning to shatter, all his long years of
experience meaningless now. The heat of Xander’s mouth, the heat of the
shower, he felt like he was on fire, like he was being touched by the sun.
Echoing growls chased through the room as his human façade slipped, as
Xander moved faster, the hand on his balls moving up to stroke the base of
his cock. The other hand was still on his ass, still rubbing circles in
the skin. Deeper and harder, wetness surrounding him, Spike slowly lost
awareness of all but Xander, everything but the feel and sound of Xander’s
lips on his flesh. His head snapped back and he howled when he felt a
finger slip into his ass, the sensation overpowering him. He tried not to
buck, but couldn’t stop himself, tried not to choke Xander, tried to pull
away, but Xander held him tight, drinking up every drop he could.

Xander slowly stood, watching the tremors still running through the pale
body, Spike’s eyes closed. He gently reached over, grabbed a wash cloth
and gently but quickly washed them both. Spike slowly opened his eyes as
he felt Xander’s touch tracing over him. His body was humming, he
couldn’t remember feeling this good in so long, too long, longer than he
could even remember. He could feel Xander’s erection press into his back
and a wicked smile curled across his features. So, the whelp had learned
a few things from those videos. Well, now, it was nice to know he was a
quick study. The smile deepened. But watching was one thing. Doing
another. But experiencing, now experiencing was something else entirely. 
Spike turned to face Xander, his intentions clear on his face.

“Xander,” Spike started, only to feel a finger pressed to his lips. 

“Your turn soon. Just have to get out in a minute. Pizza will be here
soon. And I want to eat, need to keep my strength up. Have a feeling I’m
going to need it.” Xander grinned back. He leaned over to turn off the
water, starting a little when cool lips kissed the base of his spine.

“Oh, I definitely think you will, luv.” Spike handed Xander a towel then
grabbed one of his own. “No, I’m definitely sure you will.”

Part Seven  

Xander slid the plate across the table to Spike, reaching up and taking a
bite of his own slice as he did so. Gods, he was starving. And the pizza
was perfect, burnt just enough. A quick slug of beer and the grin was
back. He couldn’t help it, he knew damn well he looked like an idiot, but
he felt good. Like he knew that he would. His grin stretched wider as
the music started in his head. Oh yeah, he felt just fine. No guilt for
Xander. Nope. None to be found.

He had expected that, really he had. He had braced himself for guilt and
self-loathing and self-hatred and any other nasty emotion he could
imagine. Not that he planned on stopping. He couldn’t have. He wanted
this too much. But there was none of that present. Just happiness. 
Maybe it was because he finally realized that Spike wasn’t just using him,
wasn’t just planning some twisted mind game to get at Buffy or Angel or
whomever else the vampire was aiming for. No, something had happened when
Spike pressed his hand to Xander’s heart, something snapped and Xander
knew that Spike wanted him. Just wanted him. For no other reason than
because he did. Xander took another quick bite, smirking up at the
ceiling. Yes, he was happy. Now if he could just manage to get up the
nerve to look over at Spike.

“Pet, something interesting up there,” Spike turned his chair so that he
was sitting right next to Xander, leaning his head up to stare at the spot
on the ceiling that was fascinating his lover so. A lazy smile curled on
his lips. His lover. Well now, wasn’t this a shock. Never expected it
to be true. At least not this quickly. But now here they were, eating
together after what Spike had to admit had been a rather spectacular
evening. And only going to get more so if he had any say in it.

“Not really. Never noticed that crack before. And I have spiderwebs.” 
Xander kept his head tilted back, a slight blush coming over him. 
Embarrassment, however, appeared to still be on the agenda. He didn’t
know how to ask, how to find out if Spike liked what he had done. Well,
fine, it was fairly obvious that Spike liked it well enough, but, well,
Xander wanted more, wanted to know what he had done that felt good, what
he could have done to make it feel better. And he did want it to get
better. But Spike so clearly knew what he was doing and Xander so clearly
didn’t and it was playing with his head, riling up all his insecurities
once more.

“That you do, mate. Suppose we should get a ladder and sweep them down,”
Spike inched over a little on his chair, puzzled as Xander’s blush
deepened. Surely the whelp couldn’t be having regrets now? Not after
what had just happened between them. He had to know that Spike wasn’t
playing with him now, didn’t he? After all, here he still sat, eating
pizza with Xander, drinking his beer, practically oozing pleasure from his
every pore. My but the boy learned quickly, if he hadn’t known better, he
would have sworn the boy had been taught how to suck dick by a master. 
Hells, he could have given lessons. Enough natural talent there to
destroy him in moments. When he thought back to his first time with
Angelus, well, good thing he couldn’t blush or they would both be sitting
there burning red in the night. And it had been so awkward after, he had
had no idea what to say or do. . .

Spike practically slapped himself in the forehead at his own stupidity. 
And just how was Xander supposed to know what to say or do? Bloody hell,
he just assumed the whelp would know how marvelous it had been by the fact
that he tried to shove his entire cock down Xander’s throat. Either that
or the howling should have been a bit of a clue. But Xander wouldn’t
necessarily know that, now would he? Spike restrained a hiss as the acrid
scent wafted over to him. And damn those supposed friends of his for
letting him remain so insecure. He closed his eyes for a moment, cursing
the chip, cursing the fate that kept him from destroying everyone who had
every hurt the precious man next to him. If he had but world enough and
time. Well, he had right now. He could change it now.

“Xander,” Spike turned and pressed a cool hand to the warm skin. “Xander,
look at me.”

With a barely perceptible shudder, Xander turned to face Spike, not really
wanting to know what he would see, prepared for the usual sardonic grin. 
Not prepared for the openness and honesty peering back at him. “Spike,”
Xander sighed, unsure of what more to say.

“Just wanted to say thanks. That was bloody amazing.” Spike held the
gaze a moment more, fighting back his terror at being so exposed to
someone who could hurt him so very much with just one word, just one wrong
look. He lifted an eyebrow. “Sure you haven’t done that before. From
where I was standing felt like you knew just what you were about.”

Xander started laughing at that, snapping the tension in the air. “Oh,
yeah, Spike. Been doing it for years. Have my own infomercial. ‘How to
please your undead lover in six easy lesson. Call now and this peppermint
flavored body oil will be yours as our free gift. Operators are standing
by. Only six easy payments of 19.95.’” Xander stopped, hearing Spike’s
laughter mix with his own.

“Worth the money, pet.” Spike watched the flush creep back up Xander’s
cheek. This time, however, it wasn’t from embarrassment. He placed his
bottle on the table, then stood, pressing a quick kiss on the top of
Xander’s head. “Stay here, eat. Back in a few. Want to thank you
properly, now don’t I.” He trailed cool fingers down the side of Xander’s
neck, drawing a shudder from them both. He stalked down the hall, heading
straight for Xander’s bedroom.

Xander stared for a moment, then turned back to grab another slice. So,
Spike had really liked it. He grinned back up at the ceiling. “Looks
like splicing that tape helped.” He chuckled, letting the film unspool in
his mind. He had taken all the scenes he could find of William blowing
Spike and edited them together, watching closely to see which reactions
were for the camera and which were real. He soon realized that if Spike
truly liked something he would go still. So Xander had edited the tape
back down, collecting only those moments. Then he watched it, over and
over, memorizing it, glad once again that he had this insight into his
vampire.

Spike looked around the room, checking one last time to make sure it was
just how he wanted it. Now, now he would fall back on his plan of going
slowly, of seducing Xander into enjoying this as much as Spike knew he
could and should. Candles flickered and the faint scent of sandlewood
from the incense he had briefly burned filled the air. Pillows were
arranged just so, the perfect angle to support Xander’s body. A small
bowl of warm water half hidden under the bed, washcloths next to it.

“Just need flowers and candy and you’ll just be the perfect little man
won’t you. Wanker.” The self-mockery made him grin. Fuck it all. He
was a romantic. And if this, if this wasn’t the right time to pull out
all the stops then Spike had no idea when it would be. “At least I
haven’t written the bloke anything. Even I wouldn’t torture someone like
that. Well, maybe the Slayer. When is her birthday again? Xander will
know.” He turned on his heel and headed back towards the kitchen,
ignoring the twist in his gut. He didn’t get nervous. Hadn’t been
nervous in over a century. Well, maybe a few decades. Well, as long as
he was being honest with himself, since he kissed Xander that first time. 
But no, he wasn’t nervous now. Not at all.

Xander felt Spike slowly walk up behind him. He continued staring at the
wall, hands resting on his clasped hands, elbows propped on the table. 
Cool hands dropped to his shoulders and he sighed as Spike slowly kneaded
the muscles.

“Xander, do you want to me to go?” 

Xander leaned his head back, seeing Spike’s face peering solemnly down at
him. He shook his head, touched by the gesture, the oblique check to see
if this was what Xander truly wanted.

“No. Of course not.” Xander could have sworn that a look of relief
crossed Spike’s face, just for a moment, but it was gone so quickly that
Xander couldn’t be sure. The hands on his shoulders gently tugged him up
and he rose, letting Spike take his hands and lead him down the hall.

“Xander,” Spike breathed his name into his lips as the vampire walked
backwards into the bedroom, pulling Xander into the room after him. “Lie
back, luv. Just relax, let me,” cool hands pressing him to the bed,
settling him down. Long, slow kisses, tender, calm, nothing urgent,
nothing demanded. Nothing but the feel of Spike worshipping his mouth. 
Xander’s head began to spin. He felt drugged, drunk on the feel and
taste, by the unreality of the scene. He struggled to open his eyes as
Spike moved to kiss up and down his neck, careful, ever so careful not to
linger on any one spot too long, not to let his teeth graze the tender
skin, careful not to do anything that would cause Xander to fear him. 
“Xander,” breathed into his ear as a cool tongue traced the curve.

Xander tried to move, to return some of the pleasure being given to him. 
But he couldn’t, he couldn’t seem to gather his wits together enough to do
so. He felt a brief twinge of guilt, then suddenly he realized that the
low noise in his ear was words, words directed to him.

“Shh, just be still. You are already giving me all I could desire, just
enjoy. Just let me,” the words were quiet, almost inaudible, but their
meaning came through, penetrating the haze of pleasure in Xander’s mind. 
He nodded slowly, then closed his eyes, giving himself over completely to
Spike’s hands. A stray thought flickered weakly *when did you start
trusting him that much, just a few hours ago thought he was using you*
only to die away.

Spike reluctantly pulled back, licking his lips to savor the taste of
Xander’s sweat. He reached an arm behind Xander’s back and pulled the
warm body up, raising him enough to be able to pull the t-shirt over
Xander’s head, running a flat hand along Xander’s chest as he did so,
unwilling to lose contact with the glowing flesh. He settled Xander back
down and returned to his self-appointed task of tasting every inch of
Xander, of covering every bit of skin with tiny, biting kisses.

Time expanded, time contracted. Xander felt himself falling, falling into
some warm sea of bliss he had never known existed. What was this slow and
steady exploration, this examination of his body as it were the first that
Spike had ever touched? Where had this gentle being come from? Where
indeed had Spike kept him hidden? He started to pant when those lips
finally found his nipples, sucking them slowly, slowly, warm and wet. He
was so hard, so hard, yet he never wanted this to end. He felt Spike
raise his hips from the bed, felt his sweats ease down, but it was all
part of this, part of the spell Spike had cast around them. Cool lips now
moved up his legs, strong hands caressed his thighs. He moaned now, far
past any shame, past any self-consciousness. There was only this, only
them, only the amazing pleasure that Spike was giving to him, the pleasure
Spike was placing at his feet, a shy gift freely given.

The moaning grew louder, ringing in Xander’s ears as Spike kissed his way
up Xander’s thighs, lavishing attention on the soft, soft skin along his
hipbones. Ever closer, inching in slowly, so slowly towards Xander’s
erection, the length bobbing with every beat of his heart.

“Xander,” Spike’s voice deep, harsh with longing.

Xander forced his eyes to open and meet Spike’s, leaning up slightly from
his nest in the pillows, seeing those perfect lips poised directly over
his tip. He stared down, locking the sight forever in his memory. Then a
quick nod and Spike dropped his head down, slowly taking Xander deeply in
his mouth.

Xander crashed back down, strangled cries filling the room. Nothing had
prepared him for this, for the feel of Spike’s tongue tracing the vein,
for the coolness of that mouth so perfect against his heat, for the cut of
those cheekbones along his stomach. Nothing had ever even hinted at the
feel of Spike’s palm under his sac, the trace of fingertips along his base
as Spike moved his head slowly along his shaft. Nothing. Everything. 
Heaven itself.

He tried to last, tried to make it go on and on, but he couldn’t, he
couldn’t, not when he could slit open his eyes and see the object of his
long denied desire wantonly sprawled between his thighs. He tried to gasp
out a warning, but the sound was cut off in his throat. He came, arching
in the air, arching into Spike’s mouth, Spike moaning as well as he
swallowed again and again and again. Xander shook beneath him, the
intensity overwhelming.

Mindless moments, an eternity of time later Xander realized that Spike was
gently washing him, wiping away the sweat that covered his body. He
shivered a little, suddenly cold, only to feel a warm blanket drape over
his body. His eyes fluttered shut again as he reached a hand back to pull
Spike to rest behind him.

“Stay. Please, William.” Xander felt cool arms wrap around his waist as
Spike settled in behind him, spooning perfectly against his back.

“Wouldn’t dream of leaving, Xander.” Cool lips skimmed his ear as they
nestled together, drifting off to sleep.

Part Eight  

Spike propped himself up on one hand and stared down at the body nestled
so closely next to his. They fit together well, even though Xander was
larger than he was. Larger, broader shoulders, broader chest, taller. 
Almost as strong. He smiled softly, stroking a hand down Xander’s arm. 
Who ever thought that his skin would be so soft? The warmth of it drew
him and he settled back down, dropping his forehead to rest in Xander’s
hair. He inhaled deeply, memorizing the scent. It was dusky and deep, he
smelled like the forest after a storm. He nuzzled in deeper, trying to
burrow through to the scalp underneath, needing to be as close he could.

His eyes fell shut as he willed himself to be still, to calm the racing in
his veins. Time to linger and savor now, now when Xander was fast asleep,
lying so trustingly in his arms. A long, winding road to end up here in
this bed, limbs tangled with a Slayer’s friend. Of all the curious turns
his existence had taken, this was one of the strangest. As if it wasn’t
enough for him to be helping a Slayer, no matter how reluctantly, now he
had chosen to fall for her friend.

Spike smiled into Xander’s neck, relishing the brush of the flesh on his
lips. As if there was a choice, as if there was anything he could have
done to stop it. As if there was anything he would have done to stop it. 
He wondered how this happened, how in the space of a few short days his
world turned about him. This wasn’t what he planned, not at all what he
pictured when he set about his grand scheme of seduction. All he wanted
to do was take the boy, take him slowly and thoroughly, debauch him and
leave him spent and begging for more, spent and desperate for more. All
he wanted was to make him need Spike as desperately as Spike needed blood,
make the boy crave his touch the way he craved violence and pain. Then,
then he would leave, would turn his back, laugh and walk out the door. 
After telling all the whelp’s friends of course, that went without saying.
That was his grand scheme, to give one of them a taste of how pathetic
and sad his life now was. The smile grew as Spike let out a tiny laugh. 
He never really was much for sticking to a plan. Once again the spider
got caught in his own web.

Xander turned a little in his sleep, sinking deeper into the mattress as
he drifted into dreams. Spike felt the movement and he tensed for a
moment, sure that Xander was pulling away. He relaxed as Xander stilled,
hearing his breathing slow even more as Xander fell deeper asleep. He
moved slowly to adjust to their new position as Xander was now lying more
on his stomach than his side. Spike curled next to him, never
relinquishing his grip on Xander’s waist. The muscles were firm under his
touch and Spike pondering again why Xander would dress so sloppily. Why
had that little demon let him get away with it? He knew that he was
longing to see Xander in something a little tighter, a littler more
fitted, something that would show off what was his. Spike nodded as
understanding struck. Ahh, so that’s why she never said anything, why
she never took the female prerogative to completely redo his wardrobe. 
She didn’t want anyone else playing with what was hers. Well, too late,
she left and Xander wasn’t hers anymore. Maybe he would simply start
slipping some of his own shirts into Xander’s closet when he wasn’t paying
attention.

Spike drew in a startled breath at the turn his thoughts were taking. 
“Easy now, mate, don’t be getting ahead of yourself. One day at a time,
that’s how this will be, one day at a time.” He whispered the words
aloud, needing the sound to ground him in the present. There he was
again, thoughts skittering ahead of him, making yet more plans that were
sure to come crashing down around his ears. He was acting as if there was
something more than there was, something more than just hormones and
curiosity on the part of the whelp. That was all it was, after all,
nothing more than that. For hells sake, he tried to kill the boy in the
past, would certainly try to kill him in the future. That’s all this was,
just some crazy experiment on the part of the boy and it was just his good
fortune to show up at the right moment to take advantage. That’s all this
was. Nothing more. Xander didn’t care. It didn’t mean anything, he
didn’t care. Spike felt his heart harden as he repeated the words over
and over. Just lust. Nothing more. It didn’t mean anything more.

He could possibly have succeeded in convincing himself of this if Xander
hadn’t let out a happy sound and said his name.

“Spike,” just his name. Just that single syllable. Yet somehow this
sleeping god imbued it with such warmth that Spike thought he could feel
his heart beat for just one moment. Then it happened again. “Spike,”
just as happy and content as the last time. Spike leaned up again,
checking to see if Xander was awake. He wasn’t, his eyes were darting
under the closed eyelids and it was clear that he was dreaming. Xander
was dreaming some happy dream. And that happy dream was about Spike. 
Xander smiled in his sleep and let out another happy sigh.

Spike stared down, unable to turn away. The fierce panic suddenly faded
away, gone, replaced by nothing but joy. So he was wrong. Perhaps it was
time to let loose of the fierce hold on his emotions. He knew precisely
what he just tried to do. Lock his heart away before he lost it entirely.
It never took much to make him give it away. Just a little care, just a
little tenderness, just a little attention paid to him for no reason but
for the pleasure of his company. Just someone to accept him for who he
was, demon and poet in equal measure. And Xander did just that.

He forced himself to finally admit the truth now that he was here in the
place he longed to be. This was never just about sex. It was never just
about using and leaving Xander as a lesson to the others. This was never
about just finding a fuck buddy. No matter what lies he told himself. 
This was always about taking whatever scraps of attention Xander would
give him. In his most cherished fantasies he never imagined Xander
wanting him back and so he always pictured it in terms of possession. 
Xander would be his, but only after Spike turned him, or if something
happened to one of Xander’s friends and the boy blamed himself and he
sought out the poison of Spike’s arms as punishment. Something like that.
It was unimaginable that Xander would want him any other way.

But apparently it not only was it imaginable, it was real because he could
still taste Xander in his mouth and the rich odor of their scent clung to
his skin and the warmth of Xander’s back burned his chest. It was real. 
Spike moved his mouth to the nape of Xander’s neck and gently sucked, just
enough to raise a small red patch but not enough to leave a mark. As much
as he wanted to leave a mark he wouldn’t, at least not without Xander’s
permission. He just wanted to taste him a little, just wanted that
closeness once more. He moved his way down Xander’s spine, bringing his
other hand to stroke through Xander’s hair. Gods, he loved Xander’s hair,
it was so full and silky and it smelled so good. Xander stirred under his
touch and he slowly turned to face Spike.

“Hey.” Xander blinked, clearing the last traces of sleep from his mind. 
He ran his hands down Spike’s sides, content to his core. This was so
much better than he ever imagined. He pressed a quick kiss to the center
of Spike’s chest, then dropped his head back to the pillow. He stretched
slowly as Spike moved to hover over him, amazed at how natural and right
this felt. Spike’s lips caressed the soft spot on his temple, then the
vampire pulled back and tucked into Xander’s side. A cool arm draped
across his chest, long fingers pressing over his heart. Spike rested his
head on a broad shoulder and Xander automatically pulled him tight. Spike
was quivering ever so slightly, and Xander pulled him in a little closer,
wondering what the problem could be.

“Spike, you okay?” Xander felt the hand over his heart press down a
little more as Spike buried his face in Xander’s shoulder.

“I’m fine. This feels nice.” Xander barely heard the words even though
Spike’s mouth was so close to his ear. He just nodded and tugged Spike in
closer still.

“Yeah, it does.” Now it was Xander’s turn to stroke smooth skin. “Have
you been awake for long?”

“Not really,” Spike felt his eyes fall shut, feeling the beat of Xander’s
heart under his palm. It soothed away the last of his fear, lulling him
to sleep, drumming a song of peace into his weary mind.

“Well, sleep now, I’ve got you.” Xander dropped a kiss on the top of
Spike’s head as he felt Spike drift away. “I’ve got you.” He closed his
eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Part Nine  

Xander ran a hand through Spike’s hair, tucking the wayward strands behind
an ear. Damn it, he didn’t want to leave. But he really couldn’t justify
calling off work just to stay in and shag Spike. No. He shook his head
firmly as his hand strayed down to caress Spike’s neck. No. He couldn’t.
No matter how much he wanted to. And dear gods did he want to. He
shifted slightly on the bed, hoping the movement would wake the slumbering
vampire.

“Spike,” Xander called, gently tugging on Spike’s shoulder. He hated to
do this, Spike looked so peaceful and content, but he had to leave in the
next ten minutes or he would be late. And there was no way he was just
going to leave without talking to Spike first, if only for a minute. 
“Hey, sleepy head, rise and shine.” Xander put a little more force behind
the shake.

Spike blinked rapidly, trying to place where he was. He was in a big,
soft bed, it was still dark, and there was someone else with him. Someone
else. He started to jerk away from the hand on his shoulder, panic
welling up as he heard the heartbeat. Then his mind caught up to his body
and he paused. Xander. It was Xander. He was in Xander’s bed. And it
was Xander who was touching him. Spike sat up, yawning mightily and
trying to shake away the lingering effects of sleep.

“Morning, Spike.” Xander relaxed his grip on Spike’s shoulder, then
stood, reaching back for his coffee. He took a gulp as Spike looked him
over.

“Going somewhere, mate?” Xander was dressed in jeans, work boots and a
dark gray t-shirt under a flannel shirt. Spike just stared at him. He
looked good like this. Spike turned his head, catching the clock out of
the corner of his eye. “You do realize it’s only 5:00 a.m. Where are you
going?” It was far to early for Xander to be up, they couldn’t have gone
to sleep more than three hours before.

“Work,” came the succinct reply.

“At this hour of the morning, are you daft? You have to be exhausted,
come back to bed.” Spike stretched a little more, then cocked his head
slightly. “Sun’s not even up yet.”

Xander tore his eyes away from Spike’s chest. If he kept looking, he was
never going to make it out of the apartment. “I know, but we’ve been
starting at 5:30 for the last few weeks. So, I have to get going. I
didn’t want to leave without telling you, though.”

“Oh,” Spike replied quietly, touched by the gesture. “Give me a few and
I’ll leave with you.” He swung his legs over the bed, trying to remember
where he’d tossed his clothes.

“Spike, you don’t have to go just because I am. I mean,” Xander took
another sip of coffee, stalling a little as he tried to figure out the
best way to put it. “I mean, you can stay if you want. You don’t have to
go.” He resolutely kept his gaze locked on the bed, trying not to stare
as Spike pulled on his jeans.

Spike paused in the process of lacing up his boot. “You mean that?” 
Xander just nodded and Spike fought back the urge to grab him and throw
him to the bed. There wasn’t enough time to really start anything serious
before Xander had to leave and the vampire was not in the mood to spend
the rest of the day completely frustrated. He stretched out a hand and
touched Xander’s arm for a moment. “Thanks. But I really think I best
get going. What if one of the gang drops by and sees my car here? 
Besides, I need to get back before the sunrises anyway.” He finished
lacing up his boots, then gathered up his duster. He really didn’t want
to go, he wanted to stay here, wanted to be surrounded by Xander’s things,
by Xander’s scent, by Xander’s presence even while the boy was gone. 
However, Spike knew he had to go. He wanted a chance to think, to try to
understand what was going on, to replay the events of the previous night
over and over and over in his mind. And he couldn’t do that surrounded by
the thick scent of their sex.

“Are you sure?” Xander tried not to sound disappointed. Ever since he
woke about a half an hour before, Spike’s head nestled under his chin,
Spike’s arm around his waist, he had been looking forward to coming home
to find Spike waiting for him. He turned and started to walk towards the
kitchen, gathering up his jacket and toolbelt on the way. A surge of
insecurity hit him as he headed towards the door. Of course Spike didn’t
want to stay, why would he. The vampire did have his own place and his
own unlife after all. Just because they had sex didn’t mean that he had
any claim on Spike. He dumped the rest of his coffee down the sink, then
took a deep breath, trying to shove the disappointment away. He knew he
shouldn’t feel so hurt, after all, Spike stayed the night. And Xander had
never really expected the vampire to do that.

Spike trailed Xander into the kitchen, brow creased in confusion. 
Xander’s shoulders were so rigid they had to hurt. Spike cast his mind
back, trying to figure out what possibly could be upsetting his lover so
much. For one panicked moment, Spike knew, knew that all the regrets
Xander ignored the night before were finally overpowering him. A low
growl began to build in Spike’s chest, only to die out when he caught
sight of Xander’s face. Xander looked so sad, so hurt and lonely that
Spike felt his heart break. So, that was it. Xander thought he was
leaving because he didn’t want to stay, not because there was no other
choice. Well, Spike thought as he strode forward, time to stop that
thought right now.

“Xander, look at me for a second.” Spike cupped his hand under Xander’s
chin, forcing his head up.

Shaking his head slightly, Xander continued to stare at the floor. There
was no way he was looking up until he got his emotions under some kind of
control. There was no way he was going to let Spike see him like this.

“Xander, please.” Spike stepped closer, bringing his other hand up to rub
the back of Xander’s neck. “There’s something I need to say.” Dark eyes
finally looked up at that, the quiet conviction behind the words drawing
Xander’s gaze up against his will.

Spike tightened his hold on Xander’s chin, making sure Xander couldn’t
pull away. “I’m not leaving because I want to go. I’m leaving because I
have to go. I want nothing more than to stay here, where everything I see
and everything I touch is a part of you. I want nothing more than to be
the first thing you see when you come through that door at the end of the
day. I want nothing more than to be waiting here for you to return to me.
But I can’t. You know, that, it’s too dangerous. If I do, then one of
them is sure to come by and find me here.” Spike smiled slightly at that.
“You know that between the two of us we have the worst luck on the
planet. You know that’s what’s going to happen. And then there will be
questions and accusations and I don’t think either of us want that right
now.” He relaxed his hold on Xander’s chin slightly, stroking his fingers
lightly on Xander’s face. “Right now, I want you all for mine. I don’t
feel like sharing you quite yet. So, I have to go. If you want, I’ll be
back the second the sun sets tonight.” He locked eyes with Xander, trying
to will him to believe. “Xander, I don’t want to go. But I will come
back.” Spike released his grip on Xander’s chin and then stepped back,
waiting to see what reaction he would get.

Xander looked down for a second, kicking himself for being such a fool. 
Damn, why did he always have to doubt everything. He looked up, a smile
crossing his face as the solution suddenly struck him. “Spike, as much as
it pains me to say this, you’re right.”

“Damn straight I’m right, always am you know.” Spike grinned back,
relieved beyond words. So, looked like he said the right thing. It had
been quite some time since he allowed himself to be this open and it was
making him a little giddy.

“Shut up.” Xander felt his smile stretch even wider. “You know, I can’t
believe the whole group of them just didn’t come barreling in here last
night. You’re right, between the two of us the odds are pretty good that
the building should have been hit by a meteor or something.”

Spike just laughed, the stress instantly evaporating. Xander moved over
to where Spike was leaning on the kitchen counter and put his hands
possessively on Spike’s waist. “And you were also right about something
else. I don’t want to share you with anyone yet either. Tell you what, I
should be off work by about 3:00, 3:30 something like that. If you want,
I could come to the crypt.” Xander leaned in until he was pressed fully
up against Spike. “If you want.”

“Oh, I want. I definitely want.” Spike stared up at Xander, delighted to
note that Xander’s eyes were dilated, feeling the beginnings of Xander’s
erection pressing into his thigh like his was pressing into Xander’s. 
“Are you sure you have to go?” Spike hooked his fingers into the waist of
Xander’s jeans and tugged down firmly.

“Fuck. No. I mean, yes. I mean, I have to go to work. Jesus, Spike,”
Xander dropped his head onto Spike’s shoulder as the vampire started to
chuckle. “Oh gods it’s going to be a long day.”

“Tell me about it,” Spike ruefully replied as he reluctantly moved his
hands from Xander’s waist to Xander’s shoulders. “Tell me about it.”

Xander stepped back, not trusting himself to kiss Spike without something
untoward happening on the kitchen floor. “C’mon. Let’s go before we both
change our minds.”

Xander walked slowly through the rows of tombstones, noting how different
the cemetery looked during the day. It was strange to just be here
walking along without watching every second for an attack. Really
strange, but peaceful too. He shifted the bag from his left hand to his
right, glancing down quickly to make sure nothing spilled. He was glad
that they got done early today. He left work about 2:30 which was great
because it gave him the chance to stop and pick up a few things that he
wanted. That and he could stop back at the apartment and shower and
change. Xander felt his heart begin to pound the closer he got to the
crypt. It was insane, all he could think about was this all day long. 
Well, this and every single thing that happened the previous night, well
that morning if he was being accurate. It was insane. But all he wanted
all day long was to be with Spike. And now that he was going to be, he
was so nervous he thought he was going to piss his pants. He smiled a
little. And he knew exactly why. It was because of what was in the bag
he was carrying. He took a deep breath, raised a shaky hand and knocked.

The door was yanked open almost before he could pull his hand back. 
“Xander, come in.,” Spike called from behind the protection of the door. 
Xander quickly did so, then turned to watch as Spike firmly shut the door,
then dropped a bar across. “Never hurts to take extra precautions.”

They just stared at one another for a moment, neither quite sure what to
say or do.

“Spike” “Xander”

They both stopped to let the other finish.

“Xander” “Spike”

Xander started to laugh as Spike just raised an eyebrow. “Right, let’s
try this again. Xander, I’m glad you’re here.”

Xander stopped laughing at the tone of Spike’s voice. He dropped the bag
and with three quick steps he crossed the room, pressing Spike against the
wall. “You thought I wasn’t going to show, didn’t you?”

Spike turned his head away, jaw working as he struggled to find a
response. “Yes.” Yes. He actually had been positive that in the harsh
light of day that Xander would come to his senses and head for the hills.

“Spike,” Xander leaned down and pressed a quick kiss right next to Spike’s
ear. “I had to. All I could think about all day was seeing you again. 
Almost walked right into a ladder I was so distracted by remembering how
you touched me, how you kissed me.” Xander trailed a line of kisses from
Spike’s ear closer and closer to Spike’s mouth. “Of course I came back. 
I wanted to. I want to. Don’t doubt that.” His lips grazed lightly over
Spike’s. “I have to admit, I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s a little
freaked by this.”

Spike sighed as Xander’s tongue slipped out and eased open his lips. He
had spent the day teetering between joy and pain, joy as he relived the
feeling of Xander’s skin touching him, pain as he slowly convinced himself
that Xander wouldn’t be coming back. Why could things never be simple? 
Why could he never accept happiness without looking for the barb sure to
be hidden inside? Because it’s always there, it always is came the
immediate thought. He ignored the small voice inside his head,
concentrating instead on the warm mouth moving so sweetly over his. He
sighed again as Xander deepened the kiss, hands roaming over him. It felt
so right to be here, cold stone chilling his back as warm skin heated his
chest. So right. He buried his hands in Xander’s hair, pressing their
mouths together, diving into the kiss, pouring everything he had into it,
trying to pull them so tightly together nothing could ever separate them.

Xander finally pulled away with a gasp, resting his forehead on Spike’s,
holding onto Spike’s shoulders tightly. “Air, air is of the good,” he
managed to pant out. Spike smiled slightly, then tilted his head, sucking
his way down Xander’s neck. The taste of the golden skin filled his mouth
and he sucked a little harder, hands tugging at Xander’s jacket. He
craved the feel of Xander’s skin on his, the sweet softness of it
smoothing out the rough edges of his mind. He managed to slip the jacket
off Xander’s shoulders before it got stuck.

“Bloody hell, I cannot believe this is happening again,” Spike moaned as
he tugged on the fabric.

Xander threw his head back and laughed as he stepped back. “Spike, you
have to admit, it is a little funny that we can’t even manage to get each
other’s clothes off without it being a production.” Xander took another
step back as Spike’s hands reached for him. “Uh uh, I’m going to go over
here and strip. You stay there. That should work.”

Spike immediately started to pull his shirt over his head, then froze. 
They hadn’t even been together for five minutes and Xander was ready to
get naked already? He turned, opening his mouth to speak. He nearly
dislocated his jaw snapping his mouth shut. Xander’s shirt was already
off and he was bending down to unlace his boots. His back was rippling as
the muscles played under the skin, the pale light that managed to spill
into the crypt casting shadows across the skin. For one long moment,
Spike simply stared, memorizing every line, every curve of Xander’s body. 
For some reason, this struck him as almost unbearably erotic.

But then Xander looked up and the hungry look on his face obliterated all
of Spike’s higher brain functions with only one thought surviving the
onslaught of lust. The faster you strip the faster you’ll be naked. 
Spike wasn’t sure whose voice it was, but he obeyed it.

Xander fell back on the bed, and Spike tumbled down on top of him. They
came together frantically, mouths and hands roaming everywhere all at
once, skin craving skin. They writhed together on the bed, rolling over
and over until Spike put an arm down to keep them from tumbling off the
edge. Pushing them back up, he leaned back, panting heavily. “Time out.”

Xander nodded his agreement, eyes falling shut as he tried to catch his
breath. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ve been longing to touch you all day
long.”

“No apology necessary. Felt the same.” Spike traced a finger across
Xander’s lip. He hissed as Xander opened his mouth and started to suck. 
“Xander,” the low moan filled the crypt. “Fuck, Xander.”

“That is kind of the idea,” Xander pushed himself up on his elbows. He
watched Spike’s eyes widen as the vampire looked down at him.

“What’s the idea?” Spike asked, his hand dropping down to rest on
Xander’s chest. Xander couldn’t actually mean, no, Spike shook himself
mentally, no, not that. Not yet.

“Fuck Xander.” Xander slowly slid out from under Spike, pushing the trim
figure off his legs as he did so. “I figured that was kind of the whole
point of this.” He reached past the stunned vampire and pulled over the
bag. Keeping his eyes on Spike’s face the entire time, he reached in,
fished around for a moment, careful not to knock the thermos over, and
finally found what he was looking for. He palmed the tube, then pressed
it into Spike’s hand.

“Xander,” Spike sighed out, “I can’t.” He swallowed hard, then looked
away. “I can’t.”

“Sure feels like you can from here,” Xander quipped, a lump suddenly
blocking his throat. Spike just continued to stare at the wall, his jaw
clenched tight. “Spike, what’s wrong, don’t you, I mean,” Xander dropped
back onto the bed, draping an arm across his face. He didn’t really want
to look at Spike right now. “I just thought you wanted, I mean, I want
you to, but, shit.” He tried to roll off the bed, embarrassment flooding
through him.

He didn’t make it to the edge of the bed before Spike pinned him back
down, face scant inches from his. “I want this more than I can begin to
tell you. I want you. But I can’t. I can’t do it. It’ll hurt and if I
hurt you, then the fucking chip will go off and, well, blinding pain isn’t
really a turn on. Some pain, yes. That much, no.” Spike pushed back,
hands shaking in rage. “Shit, I would do anything, but, can’t. Fucking
bastards. Had to take everything didn’t you.”

Now it was Xander’s turn to grab as Spike tried to move away. “Spike, it
won’t hurt that much, I mean, Anya and I,” he flinched back as Spike
growled at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. “Anya and I did stuff, you
know,” Xander looked down, embarrassed yet again. “Stuff. So, it’s not
like no one has ever done,” he cleared his throat, “done that to me. So
it’ll be fine. I mean, unless you don’t want to. . .” his voice trailed
off. He had no idea how to handle this.

“Did it hurt?” The quiet words were whispered in his ear as Spike pulled
him close.

“Just a little, but then it was fine. C’mon, you have to remember,”
Xander stroked Spike’s back, trying to find the fire that was there just
moments before.

“Yes. I do. And it always hurts, just a little. But what if that just a
little is still too much?” Spike closed his eyes, burying his face in
Xander’s hair. “I don’t want anything bad to happen.”

“Well, neither do I. Can’t we just try and see what happens? I mean, I
don’t want you in pain, but well, I do want this. I mean, I really really
want this.” Xander bit into Spike’s shoulder as he moved one of those
long, thin hands onto his ass.

“I can’t.” Spike shook his head. “I want to, I desperately want to, but
I don’t want it to be like that for you. How would you feel if we did and
I collapsed in pain?”

“Like shit.” Xander sighed, conceding Spike’s point. “So, what, we can
never,”

“No, I’m not saying that, we’ll just have to think of something. And,”
Spike started to grin, some of his confidence returning. “I have a lot of
time to think during the day you know. We’ll just have to do something
else in the meanwhile.” He started to lick the curve of Xander’s ear. 
How sweet it was to know one of Xander’s hot spots.

“Like, like what?” Xander pulled Spike down on top of him, running his
hands up and down Spike’s back, feeling them both slowly start to respond
once again.

Spike kissed him and then pressed the tube into Xander’s hand. “How about
fuck Spike?” He arched an eyebrow as Xander licked his lips.

“But I’ve never, I mean, I want it to be good. Spike, fuck,” Xander
breathed out, his hips arching up at the thought.

“As I believe you noted earlier, that is kind of the idea.” Spike grinned
down as he watched Xander lick his lips. “And I think it’s a brilliant
idea. See as it is mine after all.”

“Do you mean it?” This was his sweetest fantasy, to plunge into Spike, to
fill him, to be part of him.

“Most definitely,” Spike nuzzled into Xander’s chest, tongue carelessly
flicking at a nipple. “Unless you don’t want to” his word were cut off as
Xander flipped him over.

“Oh, I want to, I do want to,” Xander ran his eyes down Spike’s body,
anticipation arcing through him. “How, what do you want?”

“Like this, I want to see you,” Spike picked up the tube and uncapped it,
then reached for Xander’s hand. “Here, I take it you have some idea of
what to do?” He grinned lazily as Xander blushed.

“Yes, Spike, I learned from watching the best after all,” Xander coated
his right hand, then reached down. He pressed a finger forward, breath
catching as it slowly sank into Spike’s body. He let out a hiss as the
flesh clamped around his finger. “Spike, I don’t want to hurt you either,
you’re so tight, are you sure?”

“Oh, bloody hell,” Spike gasped out, the burn of Xander’s touch wrenching
his arousal higher. “Yes, I’m sure, just, don’t stop.”

“Right,” Xander slowly moved his finger in and out, in and out, just like
it said in those books that he furtively read while hiding in the corner
of the bookstore. He was preparing Spike. He was going to fuck Spike. 
And if he didn’t stop thinking about that and start concentrating on what
he was doing, he was not going to be able to fuck Spike, not if he came
well before then. He looked up, needing to see Spike’s face, then quickly
looked away. And if he kept looking at Spike when Spike looked like that,
then, then he had better concentrate some more.

He pulled his finger out, ignoring Spike’s yelp of disapproval and coated
his hand again. This time, he pressed two fingers in and curled them up
and around.

“Oh hell,” Spike arched up as Xander slowly stroked again.

“Take it that’s the spot,” Xander couldn’t keep the laughter from his
voice. His nervousness was nearly gone now, replaced by nothing but
desire. He wanted this to be good for Spike. And from Spike’s response
it was.

“Uh huh, do that again, oh hell,” Spike muttered, trying to maintain his
composure. He would be damned if he came before Xander was in him.

“Hmm, how about this,” Xander eased his fingers out, then eased back in
with all four. He watched as Spike’s eyes rolled back, and he grinned
again. The grin faded as Spike’s eyes suddenly opened and met his. They
just stared at one another for a moment, then Xander pulled back, slicking
his erection quickly. Now. It had to be now. He kept staring into
Spike’s eyes as he positioned himself and as Spike pulled his legs back.

“Ready?” Xander whispered, heart pounding.

“Please,” Spike answered. “Please.”

Xander eased forward, mouth falling open at the sensation. It was like
nothing he ever felt before. It was cold and hot all at the same time,
tighter than anything he could have ever dreamed and in the end none of
that mattered. It was Spike. That was the difference. He moved slowly,
unable to go any faster. He didn’t want this over before it started.

“Xander,” Spike murmured, needing to say it, needing to make it real. 
“Xander.”

It was the sound of his name on Spike’s lips that did him in. Xander
started to move, slowly at first, then faster and faster, bracing himself
with his hands on either side of Spike’s body. Spike reached down and
stroked himself with one hand, the other running through Xander’s hair.

“Xander,” Spike started to chant, the sound blending with Xander’s gasps
and the slap of their flesh. “Xander” over and over like a mantra.

With a silent cry Xander came, thrusting deep, tremors running through his
body from the intensity. He collapsed onto Spike just as the vampire
arched up, the friction of Xander’s chest pushing him over the edge.

Xander slowly lifted his head, finally able to speak. “Spike, whoa, is
that, wow, you have to do that to me. I mean, you have to.”

“Sure thing,” Spike answered, pulling Xander up next to him. “I’ll work
something out.” Xander just nodded and nuzzled into Spike’s neck. They
stayed there for a minute, then Xander slowly sat up.

“You hungry?” He reached into the bag again, and pulled out a thermos and
a bag of chips.

“Um, Xander, what’s that?” Spike blinked hard.

“Oh, I’m always starved after sex, so I brought chips. And some blood for
you.” Xander tore open the bag, then handed the thermos to Spike.

“I take it you were a Boy Scout at some point,” Spike grinned as he
twisted open the thermos. The thick scent of human blood hit him and he
looked up sharply.

“Why’s that,” Xander replied around a mouth full of chips.

“Be prepared. Xander, this is human blood.” Spike stared at his lover,
who merely reached into the bag for more chips.

“Yes, I know. It better be that’s what I asked for.” Xander smirked,
pleased at the stunned expression on Spike’s face.

“Why?” Spike slowly poured some into the cap of the thermos, drinking
slowly.

“Because that’s what you like.” The simple answer hung in the air for a
moment, then they returned to their meals, Xander tucked into the crook of
Spike’s arm.

Part Ten

Xander yawned widely, feeling the pull in his back as he stretched. That nap had done him a world of good, he felt refreshed and invigorated. He smiled as he padded into the bathroom, yeah, that nap was just what he needed. He sure as hell didn’t want to be tired tonight. He whistled as he bustled about the bathroom, sticking his hand under the spray, checking to see if the water was warm enough yet. He loved his apartment, but living in an older building did have a few drawbacks. Old plumbing was one of them. He straightened the towels, then stripped out of his sweats, tossing them into the hamper. He pulled back the curtain and stepped into the tub, letting out a contented sigh. It was Friday, it had been a great week at work, patrolling had been almost a formality with only three vamps showing up all week and the water felt so nice on his skin. He grinned as he reached over for the shampoo. Oh yeah, things were really going great right now. And in an hour or so things were going to get a whole hell of a lot better. He washed his hair, pushing back the wistful wish that it wasn’t his fingers moving over his skull. No, he couldn’t start thinking about that now, that would interfere with his plans. And he wanted tonight to be perfect. He rinsed his hair, then grabbed the bath gel that he discovered Spike adored, there was something about the faint traces of eucalyptus that made the vampire sniff him appreciatively. He slowly and gently washed, taking special care to thoroughly cleanse himself. He wanted to smell as good as possible.
He turned off the water right as it began to cool, then leaned over and grabbed a towel off the rack. He dried off quickly and efficiently, then stepped out of the tub. Wiping the steam off the mirror, Xander suddenly caught sight of his reflection. He started laughing at the stupid grin pasted on his face. He couldn’t help it though; he had been looking forward to this night for a few days. He knew that he had been nearly useless at work today; he was so caught up in the images in his head. He ran his hands through his hair, deciding at the last minute not to bother combing it out. It was simply going to get tangled again shortly. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed for his bedroom, excitement growing with every step.
Xander settled on the bed, rested his hands on his thighs and took a deep breath. He had to calm down, he had to or this would not go anything like he planned. He breathed deeply for several minutes, letting his mind drift, nearly falling asleep again. Once he felt his heart rate steady, he opened his eyes and exhaled long and slow. It was time. He knelt next to the bed and reached under, drawing out the large wooden box. He flipped the lid, grinning again as he remembered the last time he opened it. Things had definitely changed since that day. He quickly gathered together what he needed, then headed back to the bathroom, grabbing his robe off the back of the door as he did so. He shrugged on the robe while unwrapping the towel, taking the extra few seconds to hang the towel on the rack. He grabbed a couple of washcloths and two dry towels and then set off for the living room with his armful of stuff. He set his bundle on the coffee table, and then turned to the television.
Fingers ran down the stack of tapes while his lips pursed in thought. Which one, which one? It wasn’t an idle question, not just anything would do for tonight. He lingered over a few of the splice tapes, then shook his head. No, no tonight he wanted the real thing, one of his favorites. One of Spike’s favorites. One with William. He pulled out Boys in Blue and Amsterdam Nights, weighing them back and forth. Both were wonderful, and either would do. He hesitated a moment longer, then popped in Amsterdam Nights. That one was nearly all only Spike and William. And that’s what he wanted tonight. He arranged a towel on the couch, then nestled down, grabbing the remotes. He turned on the television and the VCR, adjusting the volume so that it would be barely audible over by the door. He glanced around, running over the list in his head. Blood in the freezer – check. Fresh sheets on the bed – check. Clean towels in the bathroom – check. Sexy vampire boyfriend – there in, he glanced at the clock, 35 minutes. Perfect. He stood and let the robe drop to the floor.
Hands busied themselves for a moment, arranging the towel and cushions how he wanted them, making sure everything else was in easy reach. He leaned back, spreading his legs wide, letting the anticipation begin to curl through him, letting it take him away. He looked over at the television, mouth watering as he watched his lover on the screen. Who would have guessed that watching Spike take someone else would give him such a thrill? His cock twitched as a hand wandered down to absently tweak a nipple. Xander moaned softly, biting his lip. So sweet to see Spike like that and to know what it felt like when those lips wrapped around his shaft. So much better when he knew, when he didn’t have to imagine. Xander licked his lips, feeling his heart beginning to pound. Time. It was time. A hand reached over and gathered together the necessary supplies.
He flipped open the Astroglide and squeezed a little into his palm. That simple action sent a surge of hunger through him. He hadn’t done this since Anya left, and the mere memory of those times was making him sweat. To think that shortly Spike would be there was nearly overwhelming. He spread the lube over the fingers of his right hand, then settled back and slowly eased a hand between his thighs. He turned to watch the men on the screen, watching as William arched and came and as Spike gathered some cum on his fingers. Waiting, waiting the tip of a finger grazed over his opening as he watched, moaning a little louder now. As he watched Spike ease into William, he eased into himself, breath hitching a little at the sting. It wasn’t bad, in fact, it faded nearly immediately, but it still stung. Xander gently twisted and turned his finger, the movement familiar and alien all at the same time. He had only done this once before, generally it had been Anya who had opened him this way. But it felt as wonderful as he remembered, the pressure filling him so sweetly. He eased a second finger in to join the first, his hips moving on their own accord. His body set up a slow rhythm of thrust and retreat, thrust and retreat. He could feel the muscle relax, feel himself open. He moved carefully, taking care to avoid his prostate. That would be too much for him to handle, he didn’t want to climax alone. Not tonight. Not when he didn’t have to, not when there was someone who would be thrilled to join him. He withdrew for a moment, squeezing out more lube. He knew he was probably using too much, but better too much then not enough. Three fingers entered him easily and he turned back to the screen, gasping as he watched Spike thrust in and out of William. The look of bliss on William’s face could not be faked and it made Xander’s head spin.
He pulled out again and picked up the dildo lying on within easy reach on the floor. He coated it thoroughly, resisting the urge to glance at the clock. Spike would be there soon, he felt it, and he knew exactly how he wanted the vampire to find him, knew exactly what he wanted Spike to see when he entered the room. Xander pressed the tip inside, hissing again at the sudden flare of pain. He breathed steadily through his nose, waiting for his body to adjust. Again, it was over in a few short minutes, but it was enough for him to realize the truth of Spike’s fears. It didn’t hurt too much; in fact the pain was part of the pleasure. But it hurt enough. And there was no way he was going to chance setting off the chip. He couldn’t stand to even consider hurting Spike. Not now. Probably not ever again. He pressed the toy in a little deeper, humming at the feel. Cool, but not too cool. A smile danced on his lips. He wondered what would be cooler, the latex or Spike. He pressed again and again and then it was in completely. He stayed like that, enjoying the sensation of fullness. Opening one eye, he chanced a glance at the clock. 8:55. Spike would be there in five minutes. He turned his head back and began to move, easing back and forth, one leg on the floor, the other bent and resting on the back of the couch. He tried to visualize the picture he made, hoping it was right, hoping it was perfect. He wanted it to be perfect. He took one more deep breath and let his mind go clear, blocking out everything but sensation. He wasn’t about to get nervous now.
Spike bounced up the stairs, tossing his keys in the air then spinning to catch them as they came back down. He was happy, nearly ridiculously so. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this, couldn’t remember when the simple act of walking down a hallway made him grin. It was the keys, he decided. It had to be the keys. It was one thing to have a standing invitation to Xander’s home. Another to be keeping clothes there. Another to have his side of the bed. But it was something else altogether to have a key to Xander’s apartment. He grinned again remembering how Xander gave him the key the day before. They were kissing in Xander’s doorway, Xander on the way to work, Spike on his way back to the crypt, when Spike felt Xander press something hard and cold into his hand. He pulled back, puzzled to see Xander smiling shyly at him.
“Um, I thought you should have that,” Xander slowly opened Spike’s fingers as he spoke. “You should have that.” 
Spike looked down then went still when he saw the small gold key. “Xander,” he breathed out, unable to look up.
“I want you to have it. Um, I have something to do tomorrow and I won’t be back until late. Why don’t you come over at 9:00 and if I’m not there, you can just let yourself in. And, well, you know, you can let yourself in whenever you want after that, I mean, if you want.” Spike’s head shot up as he heard the bravery and fear twined in Xander’s voice. A key to his apartment. Xander trusted him that much. This was a permanent invitation. And Xander knew exactly what that meant. Spike just kissed him, hard, then rested his head on Xander’s shoulder, unable to speak, having no words that would be right.
“You’ll come over at nine tomorrow?” Xander whispered, running a hand down Spike’s back. Spike simply nodded. “I’ll meet you at the crypt tonight, though.” Spike nodded again, then took Xander’s hand as they headed down to their cars. He spent the rest of the day sitting on his bed in the crypt, simply staring at the key. He didn’t dare to think about what all this meant, it was too much to consider at the moment. Too much. Too good. 
Spike stopped in front of Xander’s door and automatically raised a hand to knock. He stopped, tilting his head to the side. There was someone in the apartment already. He inhaled deeply then smiled as the familiar scent of Xander’s arousal filled his nostrils. So, Xander was home early. And was expecting him. He felt his cock begin to stir in anticipation. He reached out and turned the knob, surprised to find the door locked. A grin spread across his face. Well, well. Xander wanted him to use his present. Good, he could do that. He flipped to the right key, pausing again as he heard something odd. It sounded like, like, panting, almost like someone was having sex. He shrugged it off, it was probably simply the neighbors, it wasn’t very loud. He slid the key into the lock, then opened the door. He walked in, faintly taking in the low light as he turned to shut and lock the door behind him.
“Xander, where are you, mate? Did you have a good day at work?” Spike’s voice faded as he moved into the living room. He went still, stunned at what he saw before him. Xander was lying naked on the couch, legs spread wide, eyes closed, sweat dripping off his face. His hand was moving slowly, so slowly, easing the dildo in and out of his ass. Spike swallowed, cock instantly hard. He was frozen in place, shocked and stunned and aroused nearly out of his mind. 
“Xander,” he groaned, hands shaking, “Jesus, Xander do you have any idea, do you know what you look like, I mean, bloody hell, Xander.” Spike took a step forward, freezing again as Xander’s eyes flew open and met his.
“Spike,” Xander smiled, drinking in the look of shock and lust on Spike’s face. “Hey, you’re here. Actually, you’re over there. Get over here.” Xander reached up with his left hand, his right hand still slowly moving back and forth. Spike automatically stepped forward, the keys falling from his hands. He fell to his knees by the couch, burying his hands in Xander’s hair, kissing him frantically. Xander moaned into Spike’s mouth, going still, concentrating on the press of Spike’s lips. They attacked each other’s mouths, nipping and lapping and battling tongue to tongue. Slowly, they calmed, finally falling apart, both panting slightly. Spike turned his head as a sudden gasp behind him startled him. Wide eyed, he stared at the television, watching as he pounded into William. He turned to Xander, confusion clouding his face. 
Xander reached a hand up and cupped Spike’s face. “I used to lie here and watch you, watch as you did all those things to all those men and I would pretend it was me, pretend I was the one you were fucking, I was the one you were sucking, I was the one who drove you mad. I’ve imagined it so many times, I want it so badly. I want you to fuck me. I know you want to do it. I know you don’t want to hurt me.” He dropped his touch from Spike’s face and picked up Spike’s hand, easing it down his chest, barely brushing across his erection. He wrapped Spike’s hand around the dildo then pulled his hand away. “I want you. I got myself ready for you. I want that to be you inside me. Please, Spike, please.” 

Spike leaned down and kissed Xander again, shrugging out of the duster as he did so. “Xander, Xander, you sure, I don’t want to hurt you,” he groaned as Xander pushed down, taking the toy in easily. 
“Shut up and strip, Spike.” Xander panted out, tugging Spike’s shirt out of his jeans.
“Oh yeah,” Spike sighed. He pulled back and yanked his shirt off then returned for another kiss. He slowly eased the dildo out and pressed his fingers in instead. He hissed as the heat gripped his hand. “So wet, you got yourself wet for me, so tight, so hot, want you, wanted you for so long, Xander.” Spike pulled away, ignoring Xander’s whimpers of protest. “Not here, Xander. I want to do this right.” He slowly stood, reluctantly leaving the haven of Xander’s body. He swiped his hand on his jeans, then reached down. “Come on, Xander. Let’s go.”

Xander trembled slightly as he stood. He wasn’t afraid, not exactly, but he was nervous. This was it. Once he did this, there was no going back. He knew it wouldn’t hurt; he had done everything he could to make sure of that. But he didn’t know exactly how it would feel. Spike pulled him tight into against his chest, and Xander moaned as their flesh pressed together.
“Don’t worry,” Spike whispered into Xander’s neck, “It’ll be beautiful.” Spike slowly backed down the hall, smiling a little as Xander paused to grab the lube. He tried to keep his hands from shaking, tried to battle back every impulse that was screaming to take Xander here on the floor. No, not like that. It was going to be as slow and gentle as he could stand. Time enough for fast and furious later. His mind was reeling with the implications of all Xander had done, just how much Xander must want this to go to these lengths. He couldn’t think about that now. Now, now all he could think about was getting out of his jeans and into Xander’s body.
They entered the bedroom, kissing again, Spike caressing Xander’s ass while Xander worked Spike’s jeans open. Spike sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Xander to stand between his legs. His fingers sought out Xander’s opening once again, fingers desperate to get back inside. He hungrily watched as Xander’s head fell back when Spike pressed two fingers inside.
“Like that, do you?” Spike smiled gently as he stroked, searching for Xander’s hot spots. A sudden gasp filled the room as he began to stroke Xander’s prostate. 
“Fuck, yeah. Spike, please, don’t, too close, I don’t want to come yet, want to come with you inside me.” Xander leaned away from Spike’s touch, ignoring his body’s protest. The sensation of those cold fingers inside him was nearly overwhelming. 
“Christ, Xander,” Spike swallowed hard. “Gotta get out of these jeans, that’s it, going naked from now on, too much bother,” Spike muttered, trying to find some way to undress that didn’t need his hands. He growled in frustration as his jeans caught on his boots. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away, releasing his hold on his lover.

Xander stepped out from between Spike’s legs and settled down next to Spike, lying back and enjoying the view while Spike finished undressing. Finally. After all those nights longing and dreaming, he was finally going to feel Spike moving inside him. He shivered as Spike turned back to him, their eyes meeting and locking. Xander felt his heart lurch at the expression on Spike’s face, tenderness and care and something that Xander didn’t even want to try to interpret all mixed together. 
“Are you sure?” Spike had to ask, had to hear it said to believe it could be true. He was aching with need, nearly out of his mind trying to maintain control. He had to hear Xander say it, he needed to on some fundamental level that he didn’t dare inspect.
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. Now, shut up and fuck me.” Xander grinned as Spike laughed and then crawled up the bed, rubbing his body against Xander’s.
“You ever hear the phrase “topping from the bottom” there, Xan? Is that how it’s going to be?” Spike felt Xander’s chest move as he lapped at Xander’s nipples, hands roaming over Xander’s body.
“Only one way to find out, isn’t there?” Xander replied, neck arching back as Spike gently bit his way up Xander’s neck.
“Only one way I know,” Spike answered, leaning up to meet Xander’s gaze. Beautiful, Xander looked so beautiful, eyes dark with passion, hair damp with sweat, need shining so clearly on his face. A need that Spike could fill. “How do you want to do this?” 
“Like this, I want to see you.” Xander could hear his heart pounding. This was it. They were really going to do this. He grabbed the tube and squirted some gel out, then slicked it over Spike’s erection, moving quickly, not lingering, knowing that simply torment them both.
“Alright,” Spike kissed Xander again, then sat up, reaching for a pillow. Xander lifted his hips and Spike slid the pillow underneath him, stroking up the lengths of Xander’s thighs with both hands. He hooked Xander’s legs over his shoulders and moved into position. 
“You ready?” Spike tried to keep his hands from shaking as he grasped his erection. 
“Please, please, Spike,” Xander whispered, “please don’t make me wait anymore.” 

”I won’t, I can’t, I can’t wait either,” Spike sighed back. He pressed himself against Xander’s opening, eyes dropping shut as he eased in, waiting for the pain, waiting for the chip to go off. He hissed as the heat surrounded him, as the tightness of the passage surrounded him. “Xander, fuck, Xander, so good, shit, so tight, so hot, you feel amazing, perfect, fuck.”
“More, more,” Xander reached up and began stroking down Spike’s chest, running his hands over the porcelain skin. “Spike, Spike, Spike,” all Xander could do was chant Spike’s name as his thoughts scattered. The sensation overwhelmed him, the perfection of it ripping through him. Nothing had ever felt this good. He had never even imagined anything feeling so good.
Spike pressed forward slowly, eyes opening to watch Xander’s face. Xander’s eyes were closed and he was thrashing back and forth, biting his lip. No pain. Only pleasure. With a moan that echoed through the room, Spike thrust the rest of the way, burying himself deep inside his lover. They stayed like that for a moment, then Xander began to move. Spike quickly picked up the rhythm and they began to groan, too caught up in sensation to do anything else. Spike reached down and wrapped his hand around Xander’s shaft and began to pump in counterpoint to his thrusts. He moaned as Xander pressed a finger to his lips, then he sucked it into his mouth, biting down gently. Xander began to move faster, pushing them forward, rushing them towards completion.
“Spike, wanted you for so long, wanted this, dreamed of this, perfect, so good, perfect, perfect,” Xander heard his voice coming from far away. He never expected it to feel like this, never knew how desperately his body desired this. “Spike, Spike, Spike,” he arched back, his orgasm ripping through him, carrying him away. Spike thrust faster and faster, Xander’s passage clamping down on him. 
“Not yet, not yet, more, more, never get enough of you, never, not yet,” Spike chanted feeling his control slip away. “No, no, not yet, don’t want to, want more, need you, Xander, Xander.” Spike threw his head back, unable to hold back any longer. Wave after wave crashed over him, the intensity almost frightening. Shuddering, he collapsed onto Xander’s chest, aftershocks rippling through them both. Xander ran a lazy hand through Spike’s hair as they rested, sighing when Spike finally slipped out. He felt shattered. He felt reborn. 
“Thank you,” Spike murmured into Xander’s chest once he was able to think.
“For what,” Xander replied, pulling Spike up for a lingering kiss.
“For giving me that, for letting me give you that,” Spike answered, pressing a gentle kiss to Xander’s forehead.
“I think I should be thanking you,” Xander replied, slowly licking the sweat off Spike’s neck. “That was, wow, perfect.”

"Really,” Spike propped himself up on his arm, inspecting Xander’s face.
“Yeah,” Xander said softly, reaching up and trailing the back of his hand down Spike’s cheek. 
“You’re welcome.” Spike kissed Xander quickly, then settled back onto Xander’s chest. They rested for a moment, then Xander sighed.
“We have to shower or we’ll stick together.” He didn’t want to get up, but they need to. Besides, he was getting hungry.
“Did you really watch those and wish it was you?” The question was so quiet Xander almost missed it.
“Yeah, I did.” Xander responded just as quietly.
“Will you tell me what you liked best?” Spike raised his head and cocked an eyebrow. He peeled off Xander’s chest and moved to the edge of the bed.
“Why do you want to know that?” Xander sat up as Spike rolled off the bed. Spike grabbed Xander’s hand and led them to the bathroom.
“Because I thought maybe you might want to act them out.” Spike cheerily replied as he started the water.
“Oh, oh that’s a good idea.” Xander breathed out. Oh yeah.
“Oh yeah, and I’ll tell you what I like. Figure turn about is fair play and all that.” Spike pulled Xander into the tub with him, already sorting through the scenes.
“Oh yeah,” Xander sighed, reaching for the shampoo. He handed it to Spike and then stepped into the spray.