Infamous Quotes from China...

Mao says "read these quotes, or a revolution will beckon on your land." Actually...he didn't say that, but I think it'd be wise to take his advice, at least this time. These quotes were said by the following peoples (also in parenthesis will be the key so you will know who said what...you think I'm gonna type a name everytime??): (Mr. C) Mr. Cheung, (Ms. B) Ms. Bruegger, (Ms. M) Ms. Munro, (Ms. T) Ms. Tagle, (P) Philip, (C) Courtney, (K) Kat, (A) Ana, (Kr) Krisya. Well, enjoy!! :)

On with the show...

• "You need to go find more aggressive women Mr. Cheung." -P to Mr. C after realizing the women Mr. Cheung is hanging around with on the trip (cough cough, the other teachers)
• "Dam the stupid red balls."- Mr. C when he misses the red billiard ball
• "I didn't hit the ball with my hand."-K when C accuses her of hitting the billiard ball with her hand instead of the stick
• "He [the Emperor] certainly had lots of concubines."-P "You mean the emperor had thousands of sluts." -Mr. C "I didn't see that one coming."- C
• "Can you give me some techniques?"- Mr. C from the back of the bus when he was inquiring on how they teach sex ed in China
• "At least she [Ms. B] climbed the wall, unlike some people." -Mr. C to Kr the morning after climbing the Great Wall
• "Strawberry rave in room 607."- Mr. C to group after having dinner
• "I like aggressive women." -Mr. C when he thought no one heard him
• "Don't mix beer with cola."-P after getting a stomache one night
• "Hey look, its the Great Wall of China." -P when he was pointing out the long row of bicyclists waiting for our bus to pass
• "You can provide us with the entertainment Phillip. Go in the corner, jump up and down and pretend to hit the drums." -C to P after realizing the conversation at dinner was getting dull
• "Sure, let me go find my gold tights and meet me in room 608 in about an hour." -C to Ms. T after Ms. T asked her if she was going to do the stuff like the cortortionist did
• "Whats with the tomato on the stick?"- Kr pointing out the giant TV tower in Shanghai
• "Don't poison me with your dumplings."- Mr. C to students when he found out we [the students] were attempting to fold the dough to make the dumplings
• "Wow, when they cut the frog's head off with those scissors, and pulled the spine out...beautiful." -P to C after visiting the food market
• "Don't put the key in your pocket." -Kr to C as a word of advice after breaking the first one
• "I broke the curtains." -C to A when she was trying to close the curtains in the hotel room
• "We're gonna order you a massager and send her to room 607." -Ms. T "I'll bring the camera and popcorn." -Ms. B "Won't this look good in the Oracle?" -Ms. M "What kind of massage?"-Mr. C (all heard from the back of the bus)
• "Hello-chop!"-some lady selling chopsticks
• "You've got a crowd of spectators." -Mr. C to Ms B and Ms T while having their foot massage
• "Sure, join us on the bus."-Kr to a guy selling the little red book in german
• "We've got our own groupies, I love it." -C to P when arriving at the Forbidden City watching the salesmen running up to the tour bus
• "Never touch the merchandise."-Ms. B after learning the hard way of getting rid of sales peddler
• "You and your demolition." -C to P when he suggested knocking down one of the tall buildings in Shanghai

Please sir, I want some more...MORE?

• "The Tang Dynasty was a kick in the glass." -P when he noticed the announcer was saying the word "tang" wrong
• "You and Courtney go have an adventure in the bar."-Kr to P and C while playing billiards
• "Its gonna be too easy to pick up a guy. They're all drunk and horny anyways."-C after K suggested she flirt with a business man
• "Are you supposed to look pink after a sauna?"-C to Mr. C and P while meeting them to play billiards
• "Its the Donald Duck Convention." -P to C after seeing a tour group all wearing bright yellow hats
• "Its not just any watch, its a "Mao" rolex watch." -P when the lady selling a Mao Zedong watch changed its title
• "I like it when my foods not in its natural shape." -K announced after seeing the whole fish being brought to the table
• "I should've started planning my tomb two years ago." -Kr when the tour guide announced that the emperor started planning his tomb at age 14
• "For your birthday, I'll get you a few Ming tombs."-Kr after seeing the Ming tombs "Great I've always wanted a set of red boxes."-A
• "Wouldn't that suck if our plane crashed right before we reached home?"-P to C while the plane was landing in San Francisco "Yea, that certainly would suck."-C
• "Its the yellow snow dragon."-C behind Mr. C's back (Mr. C's Chinese name means "snow dragon" and he bought a yellow jacket)
• "Obviously these peddlers don't know anything about competition."-C to P after the 10th peddler told them about CDs
• "I washed the strawberries three times already."-Mr. C to group during the strawberry rave "With what?"- C
• "Broccili in the morning?"-Mr. C during breakfast "Hey don't judge."-C
• "How did the emperor of the Tang Dynasty get into the hotel?"-C to P after seeing the emperor appear during the show in Xian
• "Can we see your Kung Fuu outfit?"-K to Mr. C after he said he bought one
• "Hey Trish, why don't you moon the bicyclists out there and start an accident."-Mr. C while passing traffic "Okay, turn your heads guys."-Ms. B
• "You know kids at school that can sit on lotus flowers?"-P to C when she said she knows kids that can cross their legs like that
• "That'd be awfully small on you, and funny too."-C to P while he put a silk shirt up to this chest, a shirt meant for a little kid
• "That umbrella lady looked awfully aggressive."-K to Mr. C after viewing the silk fashion show
• "You know, word to your mother."-Mr. C to K, Kr and A after they taught him the phrase
• "There are mounds of dirt outside of our room."-C after Mr. C asked her how the room was "Its just construction."-Mr. C "Its still mounds of dirt."-C
• "Get more intimate."-Mr. C to Ms. T and Ms. B as a way to get them to look more happy in the picture
• "If you miss the ball with that big stick, then I'm gonna laugh."-C to P after he announced he would try using the longer stick during the billiard game

And life goes on and on and on...

• "Sure, light the whole building up."-C after a business man threw his cigarette out the elevator door
• "Its a man-bag."-Mr. C pointing to an advertisement and his own bag "No, its a purse."-Ms. B
• "Whats burning?"-C after A opened the bathroom door "Oh I was burning matches."-A "Okay..."-C
• "Why is this whole group so obsessed with sex and bodily functions?"-K "Yea, first its the sex ed and condoms in China, now about the squatting in public bathrooms."-Kr
• "I don't want my teachers getting drunk at the dinner table."-K
• This ain't a quote...but its still funny....while it was raining, we saw a sign there that said ,"Take notice of belongings Steps are slippery when crafty."