Pool Party
Kitty lay perfectly still as the rays of the sun soaked her skin. She tipped her sunglasses to the bridge of her nose as she turned to glance at her friends beside her. Also lying on lawn chairs next to the pool were Kitty’s friends, Jean Grey and Rogue. All three teens were sporting bikinis as they lounged under the sun.
"Oh isn’t this great?" exclaimed Kitty. "A whole week without Darkholme and her lackeys! I love Spring Break!"
"Yeah," agreed Rogue. "For once we get to be normal teenagers. We don’t have to worry about hiding from Mystique, or some furry psychopath trying to kill us. We have a whole week to do nothing, but rest and relax."
Suddenly, each of the young ladies felt small objects land on their bodies and explode on impact. The girls leaped out of their lawn chairs to find that they had been the victims of a water balloon attack. The girls looked at each other to find that they had all been drenched. Then, the laughter broke out. The girls looked all around to find where their attackers were hidden.
"There! By the pool house!" shouted Rogue.
The laughter came to an immediate halt. Kurt Wagner and Evan Daniel immediately stood tall and prepared to flee the scene. As they started to race as fast as their feet would carry them, they found that they were unable to move. Their legs were in motion, but they were trapped in place. Then, they felt their bodies being pulled into the air and floating towards the pool.
"Whoa! Jean don’t do it! We’re sorry! Really!" Evan pleaded. Evan looked down to find that they were being telekinetically pulled over the pool.
"Well, what do you say ladies?" asked Jean. "Do we show mercy or dump ‘em in?"
"I say we dump ‘em," said Rogue enthusiastically.
"Yeah!" agreed Kitty.
"Sorry boys," said Jean. Then, she released her telekinetic hold on Kurt and Evan. Evan fell into the pool immediately. Kurt managed to disappear in the middle of the air and land on the other side of the pool. Evan pulled himself to the surface of the pool, spouting water from his mouth.
"Ha ha!" Kurt laughed. "You have to get up pretty early to get this blue prankster."
"Oh really, Elf?" said Kitty. Kurt turned his attention to her direction to find the water hose on full blast and headed directly toward him. Without enough time to react, the water hit its mark. After a few seconds of flushing the blue-furred prankster Kitty broke off her attack. "Gotcha!"
Kurt’s hair was lying flat against his face. He brought his hands to his face to brush the wet hair out of his face. "That vas so uncalled for!" said Kurt, sounding angry. "You didn’t need to use the water hose. You should have used this!" Kurt pulled from the back of his swimming trunks a super soaker hand gun. He aimed the toy at Kitty and fired.
Kitty brought up her hands to shield herself from the attack. Kurt them turned the weapon in the direction of Jean and Rogue. All the girls began to squeal with laughter. The girls also found themselves under attack from Evan who was also firing a super soaker. Kitty began to fire the hose at Kurt again to ward off his attack. Jean started to use her telekinetic powers to re-direct Evan’s water attacks back at him.
Eventually, all the kids found themselves in the pool splashing each other. The fun continued for quite a while as their usual concerns of training and fighting villains faded as distant memories. The water-play came to a complete stop when they realized that they were being watched. The teens stared up at the side of the deck to find one of their instructors, Logan, watching them with his arms folded in disapproval.
"Heh. Hi Logan. Vould you like to join us? The vater’s great!" said Kurt nervously.
"You kids should be in the Danger Room with Cyclops," said Logan.
"Oh come on, Logan," said Kitty. "It’s Spring Break. We were just having a little fun. Can’t you cut us some slack?"
"Do you think Mystique’s going to cut you some slack?" Logan replied. "Everyone out of the pool and in the Danger Room in fifteen minutes. Just because Ororo and the Professor are in D.C. for the week, don’t mean you get to slack off on your trainin’." Logan turned and headed back to the main house.
"Oh well, look’s like the fun’s over," said Jean as she climbed out of the pool. She grabbed her towel and began to dry herself. After a series of moans and groans, the others proceeded to follow her lead. After wrapping themselves in towels, the group of teens headed for the main house.
Suddenly, as they approached the door, "Heads up!" they heard someone shout. As they looked upwards, they found themselves doused with a tub of water. After the shock of the water lacing their bodies had passed, the teens looked up to find that they had been the victims of a prank. Scott and Logan were standing above with a pair of buckets in their hands. "I warned you guys to hit the Danger Room first," added Scott.
"All right, joke’s over," said Logan. "You kids get dried up and prepare for lunch."
As the kids, dripping with water, entered the house they heard the phone ring. "I’ll get it!" said Kitty as she dashed towards the phone. The phone only managed to get off one ring before she answered it. "Hello."
"Hi, is this Kitty Pryde?" said the man on the phone.
"Yeah?" answered Kitty suspiciously.
"Well, Kitty, prepare to die," responded the man. "’Cause this is Willie "the Poolman" Wade from WDED 91.1 FM. You are the grand prize winner!"
"Ahhhhh!" screamed Kitty at the top of her lungs. Within three seconds, everyone in the house was in the room. Kurt teleported into the room still wrapped in his towel. Logan appeared at the entrance to the kitchen with his claws unleashed. Everyone else was clambering down the stairs ready for action. "I won! I won!"
"Somebody get a muzzle for this kid," said Logan as he disappeared back into the kitchen.
"Hello, Kitty are you still there?" asked the Poolman.
"Yeah, I’m here," she answered.
"Well, you know the challenge isn’t’ over yet. At 10 o’clock tonight, you and five of your friends will enter the Graveyard where you have the chance to make the measly $1000 you’ve won into a cool million," said the Poolman. "Are we going to see you at the Graveyard, or are you going to take the thousand and run scared?"
Kitty hesitated. She didn’t know what to do. She turned and looked towards her friends for help. "What do I do guys? Take the thousand or go for the million?"
"Take the thousand, Kitty! Take the thousand!" chimed Kurt.
"Elf are you flunking math or something?" asked Evan.
"Sorry, I just got caught up in the excitement," said Kurt.
"Kitty, I need an answer," said the Poolman.
"I’m going for the million!" said Kitty. Her friends began to roar with excitement. Each of them exchanging hugs and high fives over the excitement that they were about to have the chance to win a million dollars.
"All right, Kitty!" said the Poolman. "Why don’t you stay on the line, so that the studio director can give you the directions. After that, we’ll see you tonight when you and your friends step into… The Graveyard!" The phone clicked and the next voice Kitty heard was that of the director rambling off directions into her ear.
"Yeah, I’ve got it. Thanks!" Kitty hung up the phone and turned to her friends. "Oh boy! We’re going to be rich!" she said as she squealed next to her friends and joined in the group celebration.
"All right, move it kids. The grub’s gettin’ cold," said Logan from the doorway. Then, he turned around, and went back into the kitchen.
"Oh no! How are we supposed to get around Logan?" asked Rogue. "He’ll never let us stay out that late."
"Don’t worry about it guys," said Scott. "I think I know how to keep him busy while we take the challenge. Trust me." The others began to huddle around Scott as he revealed his plan. After a series of whispers and snickers of approval, the teens moved into the kitchen to eat lunch.
***
"Are ya sure ya got all that?" said the woman into the phone as she chewed on some gum and twirled her blonde hair around her finger. Her voice was loud and squeaky, but the young girl on the other end said she had the instructions down. "See ya tonight, hon. Good luck!" The woman hung up the phone and looked towards the door as it opened. The Poolman entered the control booth with a tropical shirt, a pair of shorts, and a pair of sandals. His face however was covered with a red mask with large black circles surrounding his eyes. Still slits were cut in those circles, so that he could see.
The woman sitting at the panel began to rise out of her chair. As she did so, her skin began to turn blue and her blonde hair red. Mystique removed a small wrapped envelope filled with cash from behind her back. "Here you are, Mr. Wilson. $10,000 down payment. Are you sure you will be able to eliminate Xavier’s troops?"
"Lady, I am the best there is at what I do. Trust me this ain’t nothing but a walk in the park," said the Poolman as he grabbed the envelope and surveyed it’s contents. "Are you sure Logan will show up to save these pups?"
"I’m certain of it," replied Mystique. "Why the interest in Logan? He’s not the mark I’m paying you to eliminate."
"Consider it a bonus, Toots," replied the Poolman in a Cagney-like voice. Then, he chuckled, "I ain’t seen that ol’ scamp in twenty years. I reckon it’s ‘bout time for a reunion," he said sounding like an old southerner.
"I don’t care what your reasons are. Just make sure you get the job done. Understand?" said Mystique. "Do you even know what it at stake here?"
"Frankly, Scarlet," began the Poolman sounding like Clarke Gable, "I don’t give a…."
"Enough!" interrupted Mystique. "I have had it with these impersonations. Just get the job done!" Mystique turned and stormed out of the room, re-assuming the shape of the blonde woman upon exiting.
The Poolman remained in the room and continued to gaze through the envelope. Besides the money he also saw photos and information on these "X-Men," as Mystique had called them. "Well, well," he said as he looked through the information. "Logan, you’ve gone from an special ops agent to a babysitter. If only the rest of the group could see ya now."
The Poolman placed the photos on the control panel. He rolled back a portion of his mask to reveal that at least the bottom portion of his face had been burned and mutilated. The scene was absolutely horrible. He brought a cigar to his lips and prepared to light it. "Get ready, Logan! Your world is about to crumble to the ground!" He spread his hands up in the air, and sounding like Jim Carrey in the Mask, "It’s Showtime!"
"Wilson! What am I paying you for! Get back in the booth! You’ve only got 30 seconds left!" said his boss after opening the door and entering the control booth. The man was going bald, overweight and smoking a cigar as well. "Didn’t I tell you there’s no smoking in here! This crap is expensive! Now move your tail!"
"You know boss," said Wilson as he turned around, "you never let me have any fun."
"Oh my God," said the boss. His cigar fell from his mouth and landed on the floor. "What happened to your face?"
"Oh let me show ya," said Wilson. He grabbed his boss by the collar and began to grind his face against the control panel. Sparks began to fly and the screams of his boss filled the airwaves. After his body’s boss fell limp, and the man lay on the floor whimpering Wilson grabbed the microphone in the control booth. "I’m sorry kiddies. We’re apparently experiencing technical differences, but you know that don’t stop the Poolman. So like Limp Bizkit, we’re keep this thing rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ huh!" He pressed a button on the panel, and after several sparks Limp Bizkit’s single "Rollin’" began to play.
"Oh yeah, boss," said Wilson as he kneeled next to his boss, "I quit." Wilson gathered the scattered contents of the envelope Mystique had given him. Then, he proceeded to walk out the door. "I hate it when guys think they push me around. Wade Wilson, a.k.a. Deadpool, answers to no man!" Wilson pressed the button on the elevator and looked at his watch. "Aw crap! My rent’s late. The old lady’s gonna have my head!" he whined as the elevator bell chimed. He stepped into the elevator and stomped his foot frustrated that he’d have to pay his rent along with the late fee.