Jeanster's Sherlockian Song Parodies

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RED-HEADED LEAGUE - JEANSTER'S MINI-MUSICAL VERSION

(Sing it to the tune of We're Off to See the Wizard)

We're headed off to Fleet Street
Monday at eleven o'clock
To apply in person at the office
Of one Mr. Duncan Ross.
If ever, if ever just one of us
Red-headed men
Gets picked because,
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the choice made by Duncan Ross.
We're headed off to Fleet Street
Monday at eleven o'clock.

SHERLOCK HOLMES RETURNS ONE DAY

(Sing it to the tune of One Tin Soldier.)

Listen, people, to a story
That was written long ago,
'Bout a famous Great Detective
And his very evil foe.


Forced to flee his home in London
Traveling with his loyal friend,
All because Moriarty swore
That Sherlock Holmes' life must end.


Go ahead and fool your public,
Go ahead and fool your friend.
Do it for your own protection,
Just explain it all in the end.
Moriarty's henchman's determined
That with your life you'll pay,
So to see the morning after....
You must flee and hide away.


Moriarty tricked the doctor with a
Message sent up the hill,
Asking him to treat a patient,
T'was a ruse, so he could kill.


Came an answer from the doctor,
For that patient he would care
Leaving Holmes up near the falls,
Trusting he'd be careful there.


Now Moriarty charged with anger,
"Blast you, meddler! You must die!"
The two men wrestled near the falls.
One perished and one had to lie.


Watson stood in shock and horror,
Not wanting to believe you dead.
You watched him from your hiding place.
Your farewell note was what he read.


Go ahead and fool your public,
Go ahead and fool your friend.
Do it for your own protection,
Just explain it all in the end.
With Mycroft the only one knowing
What you could not say,
Like a Phoenix rising from its ashes
Sherlock Holmes returns one day.


Go ahead and fool your public,
Go ahead and fool your friend.
Do it for your own protection,
Just explain it all in the end.
With Mycroft the only one knowing
What you could not say,
Like a Phoenix rising from its ashes
Sherlock Holmes returns one day.


LET'S MEET SHERLOCK (another filk by the Jeanster)


(Sing this to the tune of The Flintstones' opening theme)


Sherlock, let's meet Sherlock.
Baker Street, number 221B.
Come on, down to London.
He's the best detective, yes sir-ree!
Let's ride a hansom cab down Baker Street
Where he'll invite you in to have a seat.
When you're stuck for answers
'Cause you have a hard-to-solve crime,
A hard-to-solve crime,
He'll help you solve that crime!


[and now the closing]


(Sing this to the tune of The Flintstones' closing theme)


Sherlock, let's meet Sherlock.
Baker Street, number 221B.
Come on, down to London.
He's the best detective, yes sir-ree!
Someday, maybe those at Scotland Yard
Will be able to solve cases hard.
When you're stuck for answers
'Cause you have a hard-to-solve crime,
A hard-to-solve crime
He'll help you solve that crime!


(Lestrade yells upward toward the window of 221B Baker Street, "Sherlock!")

Here is a song parody I wrote about The Hound of the Baskervilles. Sing it to the tune of "Have No Fear, Bond is Here" from the 1967 movie Casino Royale.

HAVE NO FEAR, HOLMES IS HERE!


Sir Henry is safe with Sherlock Holmes!
Solving the case now as we speak!
Oh, he is a solver, when you are in trouble
Have no fear, look who's here...SHERLOCK HOLMES!

The Hound is on the run...with fangs...and claws...
We're running for our lives...Have no fear, Holmes is here...

He's going to save Sir Henry at Baskerville Hall!

Never fear, Holmes is here!

Sir Henry is safe with Sherlock Holmes!
Solving the case now as we speak!
Oh he is a solver, when you are in trouble
Have no fear, look who's here...SHERLOCK HOLMES!

The Hound is on the run...with fangs...and claws...
We're running for our lives...Have no fear, Holmes is here...

He's going to save Sir Henry at Baskerville Hall!

Sherlock Holmes...is here...so have...no fear
so have...no...fear

*******************************************

I like to think of this one as what Holmes would use as a advertisement to promote his services, if life was a musical.

I SOLVE A MYSTERY FOR YOU (sing it to the tune of "I Say a Little Prayer")

The moment I wake up
Before I drink from my teacup
I solve a mystery for you
While perusing the Times
And reading of recent crimes
I solve a mystery for you

Give me work
My mind
Rebels at stagnation.
And I will help you
Give me work
I crave
mental exaltation.
Oh, how I'll help you
I abhor
existence's
boring dull routine.
To live without work
Would only mean boredom for me

When troubled have no fear
I'm in my right atmosphere
When I solve a mystery for you.
Give me work, problems, puzzles,
and the most abstruse cryptogram,
I solve a mystery for you

Give me work
My mind
Rebels at stagnation.
And I will help you
Give me work
I crave
mental exaltation.
Oh, how I'll help you
I abhor
existence's
boring dull routine.
To live without work
Would only mean boredom for me

I solve a mystery for you
I solve a mystery for you

Give me work
My mind
Rebels at stagnation.
And I will help you
Give me work
I crave
mental exaltation.
Oh, how I'll help you
I abhor
existence's
boring dull routine.
To live without work
Would only mean boredom for me

My client, believe me
I can crack any case for you
Please help me too
I'll work for you
I'll solve your mystery,
Say you help me too
Let my solve your mystery.
You know everyday I solve a mystery.
I solve, I solve a mystery.

***************************************

Here is where Dr. Grimesby Roylott of Stoke Moran belts it out like pop singer Tom Jones.

BACK OFF, SHERLOCK HOLMES! (sing it like WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?)

Back off, Sherlock Holmes! woah, woah
Back off, Sherlock Holmes! woah, woah
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes!
You're the meddler!
You're the scoundrel!
I've heard of you!
You are Holmes, the Scotland Yard Jack-in-office!
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes!
I warn you!
Yes, I do!
You are the busybody!
Back off, Sherlock Holmes! woah, woah
Back off, Sherlock Holmes! woah, woah
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes!
You're so meddlesome!
I'm so dangerous!
To fall foul of!
Sherlock Holmes, see that you keep yourself out of my grip!
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes!
I warn you!
Yes, I do!
I'll go when I have my say!
Back off, Sherlock Holmes! woah, woah
Back off, Sherlock Holmes! woah, woah
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes!
You're a meddler!
And a scoundrel!
I know it's true!
Sherlock Holmes, don't you dare to meddle with my affairs!
Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes!
I warn you!
Yes, I do!
You and your meddling ways!
You and your scoundrel's eyes!
You and your busybody nose!

Other Sherlockian Song Parodies

I Solve a Mystery For You
The Baker Street Bunch
Red-Headed League
A Scandal in Bohemia
The Speckled Band
Sherlock, Sherlock
Sherlockian Filks A Compilation
Back to Jeanster's Sherlockian Page
Sherlock Holmes Returns One Day
The Ballad of Sherlock Holmes
Mrs. Norton