LotR, 3 Musketeers Style
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings and/or The Three Musketeers.

Legolas rides on horseback on his way to Rivendell to attend the Secret Council of Elrond. The Elf arrives at his destination, dismounts and takes in the scenery of Rivendell. He is so distracted by the beauty of it all that he accidentally collides into Aragorn.

LEGOLAS: Excuse me.

ARAGORN: How dare you? Do you think merely saying, ?Excuse me,? is sufficient? Your manners are very bad.

LEGOLAS: I hardly think you are the one to be telling me about bad manners.

ARAGORN: Fine. Let us meet at noon in the main courtyard of Rivendell and settle this matter.

LEGOLAS: See you then.

Legolas continues on his way. Ahead of him is Boromir who has also just arrived at Rivendell to attend the Secret Council of Elrond. Boromir dismounts from his horse and takes in the beauty of the scenery. Suddenly a strong wind blows Boromir?s cape which envelopes Legolas in its folds.

BOROMIR: What the --! What on earth on you doing?

LEGOLAS (still covered in the cape): Excuse, me, but your cape ?

Boromir pulls his cape off of Legolas and glares at the Elf.

BOROMIR: How dare you? I?ll teach you a lesson about treating the Son of Gondor this way! Meet me at one o?clock in the main courtyard of Rivendell!

LEGOLAS: Fine. See you then.

Legolas continues on his way. Ahead of him is Gimli the Dwarf who has just arrived at Rivendell to attend the Secret Council of Elrond. Legolas does not notice the Dwarf because he is busy thinking of his meetings at noon and one o?clock, plus Gimli is short and out of his line of vision. Legolas accidentally trips over Gimli.

GIMLI: Blasted Elf! How dare you! You need a proper lesson in showing respect for Dwarfs! Meet me at two o?clock in the main courtyard of Rivendell!

LEGOLAS: Very well. See you then.

Scene: Noon at the main courtyard of Rivendell. Legolas arrives and is surprised to see Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli standing there together.

ARAGORN: Here is the gentleman I am going to fight.

BOROMIR: What? But he?s the one I?m going to fight!

LEGOLAS: But not before one o?clock.

GIMLI: And he?s the one I?m also going to fight!

LEGOLAS: Not until two o?clock. Shall we? On guard!

Legolas draws his bow and arrow and points it at Aragorn.

ARAGORN: An arrow against my sword? Not what I had in mind, but very well.

Just then Lord Elrond appears with a group of his mightiest Elves.

ELROND: What is the meaning of all this? Stop immediately!

ARAGORN: With all due respect, Lord Elrond, this matter does not concern you.

ELROND: I beg to differ! You have all been summoned here for something much more important than whatever petty quarrels you may have between you! Now stand down and come with me immediately! All of you!

Legolas lowers his bow and arrow.

ARAGORN (half-aloud to Boromir and Gimli): Shall we defy Lord Elrond? It is five against three.

LEGOLAS: Right behind you, Lord Elrond.

The Elf turns to look at Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli. He smirks ever so slightly.

ARAGORN (thinking to himself): Blasted Elf!

BOROMIR (thinking to himself): Blasted Elf!

GIMLI (thinking to himself): Blasted Elf!

The Fellowship Bunch
DISCLAIMER: If you think I own The Lord of the Rings and/or The Brady Bunch, you're out of your loving mind.

[Sing this to the tune of The Brady Bunch]
Here's the story of Frodo Baggins,
Who with three other Hobbits left the Shire.
All of them had hairy feet, just like Frodo,
The servant one was Sam.

Here's the story of a brave strong Ranger
Who somehow ended up with many names.
Aragorn, Estel, and Strider
Just to name a few.

Well, then one night these Hobbits met this Ranger
At the Prancing Pony where they stopped to rest.
Later at the Secret Council of Elrond
They learned they'd all be going on a quest.

The Fellowship Bunch,
The Fellowship Bunch,
That's the way we became the Fellowship Bunch!

LotR sung to the theme of The Patty Duke Show
LotR sung to the theme of The Patty Duke Show

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings and/or The Patty Duke Show.


Meet Gandalf who's been most everywhere,
From the peaceful Shire to who knows where.
Then Gandalf's friend Saruman the White
Became one that he'd have to fight.
What a crazy pair!

But they're Wizards,
Strong powerful Wizards all the way.
They started out as good friends,
Now different as night and day.

Where Frodo adores the peaceful Shire,
He must cast the ring into the fire,
So Frodo travels to Mt. Doom,
While facing danger and much gloom,
What a quest so dire!

First Black Riders,
A snow storm and crows that spy the land,
Orcs, a Cave Troll and a Balrog,
And then the mighty Uruk-Hai!

You'll lose track of time,
When reading 'The Lord of the Rings'!

LotR: FotR to the tune of Gilligan's Island
The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring
done to the tune of Gilligan's Island

by the Jeanster

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to The Lord of the Rings or to Gilligan's Island or the theme music to Gilligan's Island. If I did, I'd be totally rich. This is written strictly for fun.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started here in Rivendell,
When formed this Fellowship.

'Twas led by a Hobbit who bore the ring,
The Ranger brave and sure.
Nine members of this Fellowship
Will have much to endure, will have much to endure.

The weather started getting rough,
They almost all got crushed,
If not for the courage that carried them through,
Then all would have been lost, then all would have been lost.

They lost the wizard in Moria, but continued on their way,
With Aragorn,
And Frodo too,
And Legolas and the dwarf,
And Boromir,
Plus Hobbits three,
Here in the Fellowship of the Ring!

CLOSING THEME

So this is the tale of the Fellowship,
And Boromir has died.
Frodo wishes he never had the Ring,
So saddened that he cried.

Now Frodo and his servant Sam
Will do their very best,
While apart from the remaining Fellowship,
To finish off this quest.

No dwarf, no elf, no Aragorn,
Now apart from all the rest,
Just Sam and Gollum beside him,
To finish off this quest.

So join us here next year, my friends,
To see The Two Towers,
We'll pick up where this tale left off,
And enjoy another three hours!