DISCLAIMER: I do not own F Troop and/or Johnny Bart the Rawhide Kid (although I wish I sure did, WOOF!)
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Scene: Wrangler Jane's General Store
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
How's the arm healing, Jane?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Not as fast as I'd like it to heal. Sure was nice of you two to stop by and see how I'm doing.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
You're welcome, Jane. The Captain would have come over himself, but he's busy.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Sure he is. Or maybe Wilton thought I had brought up once too often the subject of us gettin' married one day.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Oh, please don't feel too badly, Jane. You know that if were up to me, you and the Captain would be a happily married couple by now and living in your own cozy home and starting a family.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
How long is a gal supposed to wait? I'm not getting any younger.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
He could do far worse than you, Jane. You're the finest looking woman in these parts. Not to mention the best shooter and rider.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Thanks, Agarn. Well, I appreciate you fellas stopping by to cheer me up, but I've got work to do.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
I see you've posted that 'Help Wanted' sign out front. Has anyone come in to apply for the job?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Not yet. I'm going to need some help real soon. Can't work as well as I used to with this broken arm. And about Wilton, well, I'm going to put him out of my mind for now. Maybe I should start looking elsewhere for a fella.
CPL. RANDLOPH AGARN
You're going to have to get out more if you want to do that, Jane.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Agarn's right, Jane. You can't expect Prince Charming to just walk in through that door.
Just then the door opens and in walks a young cowboy dressed in a white hat and black/blue clothes. He is slight of build and has a boyish pretty face. He smiles, politely removes his hat and reveals a head of beautiful red hair. Then he introduces himself.
YOUNG MAN
Howdy, folks. My name is Johnny Bart. Do you sell any supplies that I can use to help my horse outside? He got injured from stepping into a gopher hole.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Oh, your poor horse! Let me go take a look. We might have some supplies to help him.
She smiles brightly at Johnny and hurries outside with him to see to his horse.
O'Rourke and Agarn look at each other.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Well, he's not Prince Charming, but I'd say he's a close runner-up.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Looks like the Captain might be in for some competition for Jane's affections.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
And that might not be a bad thing for Jane.
They go outside to see Jane and Johnny.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
It looks like a slight sprain. I have just what you need to help him on the road to mendin' good and proper. But you shouldn't ride him for a few days until he's completely healed.
JOHNNY BART
I was thinking the same thing. Is there some place nearby where I can stable him for a while?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
I have a barn where I keep my own horse. You can stable him there.
JOHNNY BART
Why, that's mighty generous and kind of you, Miss. I don't have much money on me now, but I did notice that 'Help Wanted' sign out front. Could I work here to pay you for allowing me to keep my horse in your barn?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Call me Jane. Folks around here call me Wrangler Jane. And if you're applying for the job, you've got it.
JOHNNY BART
That's great! Thank you, Jane.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
I'm afraid I can only pay you room and board. Is that all right?
JOHNNY BART
That'll be fine.
O'Rourke and Agarn again look at each other. They both notice how Jane and Johnny can't seem to take their eyes off of each other.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN (whispering)
Oh, yeah. The Captain's got some competition.
Scene: Later that evening in Jane's home. She and Johnny are finishing dinner.
JOHNNY BART
Dinner was delicious. You're a great cook, Jane.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Thank you, Johnny.
JOHNNY BART
How'd your arm get broken?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
My horse got spooked by a rattlesnake and I fell off. Careless of me.
JOHNNY BART
Happens to the best of us.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
It's a beautiful night outside. Would you like to take a walk with me?
JOHNNY BART
I'd be delighted and honored to accompany you, Jane.
They step outside and enjoy looking up at the stars in the sky. Then they gaze at each other and smile, not saying anything. They are content to simply enjoy each other's company. They feel a slight breeze.
JOHNNY BART
Cold?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
No. Well, maybe just a little.
JOHNNY BART
This might help.
He steps behind her and gently wraps his arms around her. She closes her eyes, leans her head back so it rests on his shoulder and smiles, enjoying the warmth of being held closely to him.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
That feels real nice.
Suddenly a horse and its rider come trotting over. Jane can see who it is.
JOHNNY BART
Are you expecting any visitors this evening?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
No. Wilton Parmenter, what are you doing here?
Johnny starts to remove his arms from around Jane, but Jane stops him by holding onto him.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Good evening, Jane. I finished my reports, so I finally have some free time to see how you are doing.
He is unnerved and annoyed to see Jane embraced in the arms of a strange good-looking young man.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
That's nice of you, Wilton. Wilton, this is Johnny Bart. Johnny, this is Captain Wilton Parmenter of F Troop.
JOHNNY BART
How do you do?
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Fine, thank you. Are you a friend of Jane?
JOHNNY BART
Well, I reckon I must be, seeing as how's she's not objecting to me holding her like this.
Jane smiles to herself.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER (coldly)
I see. Jane, could I have a word with you privately?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Certainly, Wilton. Johnny, would you please excuse us for just a moment?
Johnny removes his arms from around Jane.
JOHNNY BART
Of course. I'll go inside and wash up. I should get ready for bed anyway, seeing as how you're going to need me bright and early tomorrow to help you in the general store. Good night, Captain Parmenter. It was a pleasure to meet you.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
'Evening, Mr. Bart.
He turns to Jane.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
He's getting ready for bed? Here? In your house? Jane, what's going on here? This is scandalous! A strange man staying overnight under the same roof as you?!
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
He's not "strange", Wilton. Johnny Bart is a fine decent man. I hired him earlier today to help me in the store in exchange for room and board. It's not any of your concern.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Not any of my concern? Is that how you think of our relationship?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
We have a relationship? I wouldn't know it from the way you keep changing the subject whenever I want to talk about marriage.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Jane, we've been over this before. I don't think it's a good idea to rush into things.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Rush into things? Wilton, we've been seeing each other for over a year now. That's plenty of time for someone to decide if marriage is down the road or not. But you act like a scared rabbit whenever I want to talk about it.
Captain Parmenter sighs.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Let's talk about this tomorrow. Will you be free for lunch then?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
I don't know. I'll see how the day goes. Things might be busy in the general store.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Busy as in with customers or busy as in with your new good-looking young hired hand?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Oh, do you think Johnny is good-looking? I really hadn't noticed.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Oh, for crying out loud! Good-night, Jane! If you want to talk about us, then come on over to my office tomorrow at noon and we'll discuss it over lunch.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Don't hold your breath waiting for me, Wilton. Good-night.
She turns and heads inside the house, closing the door behind her.
Captain Parmenter is disappointed that she did not give him a good-night kiss. He is worried about this Johnny Bart fellow showing up in Wrangler Jane's life.
Scene: The bunkhouse shared by O'Rourke and Agarn.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Agarn, have you seen Captain Parmenter?
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
He rode over to see Wrangler Jane a few minutes ago.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Really? I figured he'd be avoiding her for a least another week since he's so skittish about the marriage subject.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Well, maybe it might have had something to do with my casually mentioning to him that Wrangler Jane hired on a very good-looking young fella to help out in the store and that this new fella would be staying with her in her very own house.
Sgt. O'Rourke stares at Cpl. Agarn, then grins,
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Agarn, that is brilliant! I don't know why people keep saying you're so dumb!
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Thanks, Sarge! (pauses) Who says I'm dumb?!
Scene: A week later. Wrangler Jane had not met the Captain for lunch to discuss their relationship. In fact, she hadn't seen or spoken to him since that evening when he showed up in front of her house and saw her in the arms of Johnny Bart. We now see the Captain in his office. He is reading a message he received that morning. There is a knock at the door.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Come in.
The door opens. In walk O'Rourke and Agarn.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Good morning, Captain. You sent for us?
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Yes, Sergeant. I've just received some very interesting news about that young fellow working at Wrangler Jane's general store. It turns out he's an outlaw. About two years ago a sheriff put out an arrest for Johnny Bart for shooting a man. And it gets even more interesting. Johnny Bart is none other than the Rawhide Kid!
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
The Rawhide Kid?
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Sarge! Jane's got a celebrity working for her! (sees the stern look on Captain Parmenter's face) Well, you have to admit, the name IS legend around the West. There have been stories told about him fighting criminals and defending the weak and helpless. The Rawhide Kid is practically folklore!
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
The law is the law, gentlemen. Now that we know he's wanted, it's our duty to place him under arrest so that he can be turned over to the proper authorities.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Certainly, Captain. Uh, may I ask how you came to learn about this Johnny Bart being the Rawhide Kid and a wanted outlaw?
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
That name Johnny Bart sounded familiar to me when Jane introduced us. I know I'd heard it before, so I made some official inquiries. Now, men, let's head over to the general store and arrest that outlaw.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Begging the Captain's pardon, but are you sure that's the right thing to do? The stories about the Rawhide Kid say he shot that man in self-defense, and he only wounded him in the arm. He didn't kill him. And the man he shot was a cattle rustler! And the owner of the cattle even told the sheriff that the rustler was about to shoot the kid!
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
And Captain, you'd want to be sure you have the right Johnny Bart. After all, Johnny is a pretty common name. And so is Bart. Why, there could be at least a dozen Johnny Barts scattered throughout the West.
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
That's right! It'd be embarrassing to arrest the wrong one!
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER (reading from the piece of paper in his hands)
"Height 5 feet, 10 inches, weight 185 pounds, eyes blue, hair red." Sound familiar, gentlemen?
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Well, we didn't have a tape measure with us when we met him, or a scale to weigh him, so we can't say 100% for sure that he fits the description, Captain.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
What about the red hair and blue eyes?
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Pretty common around the West, too, sir.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
All right, that's enough stalling! Men, saddle up! We're riding over to the general store to arrest the Rawhide Kid!
O'Rourke and Agarn sadly glance at each other.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Yes, sir!
CPL. RANDOLPH AGARN
Yes, sir!
Scene: Wrangler Jane's general store. Parmenter, O'Rourke and Agarn ride up and enter.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Hello, Jane. Is Johnny Bart here? I don't see him around.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Hello, Wilton. No, I sent him on an errand over at Chief Wild Eagle's. Why do you ask?
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
Oh, no special reason. I thought maybe you fired him or maybe he quit since he's not here.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd be just tickled pink if he didn't work here anymore.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Excuse me, Jane, but are you about to start a barbecue out front? I noticed the equipment out there.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Why, yes, I am. I figured some barbecued ribs would be nice to serve to Johnny when he gets back from that errand.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
Seeing as how your arm is still not completely healed, why don't you let me and Agarn take care of getting the grill started while you and the Captain have a nice chat? It'll give you both time to catch up since it's been, what, a whole week since you two saw each other?
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
Well, all right. Thanks, O'Rourke.
O'Rourke and Agarn step outside to tend to the barbecue grill.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER (sad puppy look on his face)
Oh, Jane. I don't want us to be mad at each other. I miss you. Really, I do.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT (smiles at Parmenter)
You do? Oh, Wilton! I missed you, too!
She moves closer to him and kisses him. He puts his arms around her and they kiss for a nice long time since he doesn't have to worry about them being in front of the men.
Scene: The camp of Chief Wild Eagle and his tribe. Johnny Bart is there to pick up a shipment of handcrafted blankets.
JOHNNY BART
Chief Wild Eagle, I'm impressed. These blankets are beautiful. Wrangler Jane should have no problem selling these in her store.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
Thank you, Johnny Bart. How do you like working for Jane? She is quite a woman, isn't she?
JOHNNY BART
She certainly is. Hard to believe some fella hasn't already married her by now. She's quite the catch. Beautiful, smart, sweet, and can ride and shoot as well as any man. Better than some, in fact. Say, what's with that Parmenter fella? I got the impression he might be sweet on her, but she won't talk about him to me, and I didn't want to pry by asking her.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
That's a long story. When you have lots of time, sit and I'll tell you all I know about those two from what I've heard.
Suddenly Chief Wild Eagle notices something in the sky.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
A message!
JOHNNY BART
Smoke signals! Looks like it's coming from Jane's store.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
It's for you, Johnny Bart.
JOHNNY BART
Me?! Uh, could you translate it? My smoke signal reading skills leave a bit to be desired.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
Of course.
The Chief translates the message to Johnny.
JOHNNY BART
Well, that's that. I'm afraid I won't able to deliver these blankets to Jane's store.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
Tough break, Kid. Tell you what. I'll send one of my braves to make the delivery for you.
JOHNNY BART
Thanks, Chief. Well, it's a good thing Nightwind's leg healed in time for me to bring him with me. I don't think I'd be able to sneak back to Jane's barn to get him what with Captain Parmenter out looking to arrest me. Time for the Rawhide Kid to move on. Chief, it was a pleasure meeting you.
CHIEF WILD EAGLE
Mine, too. If you are ever in these parts again, don't be a stranger.
JOHNNY BART
I won't. Good-bye, Chief Wild Eagle. Say good-bye to Jane for me.
Johnny Bart a.k.a. the Rawhide Kid rides off toward the horizon.
Scene: Wrangler Jane's general store. It is well past noon. Wrangler Jane, O'Rourke, Agarn and Parmenter are having lunch: barbecued ribs.
CPT. WILTON PARMENTER
These ribs are delicious. Johnny Bart is missing out on a terrific lunch.
WRANGLER JANE ANGELICA THRIFT
I hope he's all right. It's not like him to not return from an errand on time.
SGT. MORGAN O'ROURKE
I'm sure he's fine.
Agarn smiles and nods in agreement.
Scene: Miles away we see the Rawhide Kid.
JOHNNY BART (thinking to himself)
I should thank that O'Rourke fella some day for sending me that smoke signal warning. If I ever run into him, I'll buy him a drink.
THE END