Chapter 2: A Christmas Carol

Chapter 2:

Sheridan heard a rustling sound and her eyes flew open, adjusting to the dark room. As they did she focussed on a figure across the room. At first she thought it was her Mother returning, but then she realized who it was. "Gwen? What are you doing here so late? Is something wrong?" The figure, who was a dead ringer for Gwen, replied, "I am not the Gwen you speak of. I am the ghost of Christmas past." Sheridan almost laughed. The night was getting stranger by the minute. Perhaps she had food poisoning or something... something must be causing these hallucinations. "What? Like Scrooge and Bah Humbug and all that? You have the wrong house. I don't hate Christmas." "Maybe hate is a strong word, but you certainly aren't that fond of it are you." It was a statement rather than a question and Sheridan didn't dispute it. "Well, ok, so it's not exactly my favorite time of the year." That was putting it mildly. The ghost held out her hand to Sheridan, who hesitated, recalling the way her hand had passed right through her mother's spirit earlier. The ghost waved her hand impatiently, "Come on, Sheridan. We don't have all night." Sheridan reached out, taking the hand and suddenly they were enveloped in a bright white light. The blinding light faded and they were standing in the living room of the mansion. It was decorated in a way that Sheridan didn't remember ever seeing it. There were many expensive ornaments, but interspersed among them were home-made decorations and then there were the stockings... Father, Mother, Julian, Ivy, Sheridan, Ethan... in descending order in a slightly crooked row on the mantel.

As Sheridan and the spirit watch a young blonde girl of about five chased a boy of three into the room and they began to race in giggling circles around the massive tree. "Oh..." Sheridan's breath caught. "It's... it's me, and Ethan." Two women entered the room after the children. The younger one, Ivy, scooped up Ethan and tickled him, making him squeal in delight. "Mother..." Sheridan whispered as she saw the older woman catch her younger self, smothering her with kisses and hugs. Two men entered the room then, one a younger, happier Julian, and the other was a man Sheridan recognized as her father... only he was smiling. "How are my beautiful girls?" He kissed his wife and tussled little Sheridan's hair. "Daddy? Can't we open the presents now? Please?" Her cornflower blue eyes glittered with excitement.

Alistair chuckled. "Soon, Princess. First we need to take the family picture... that's one of the most important parts of Christmas." "Princess..." Adult Sheridan murmured. "I'd forgotten he used to call me that. I'd forgotten this whole side of him. They're all so happy..." "Yes, yes, they were happy." The spirit replied. "But it's time to move on." "No!" Sheridan protested. "I want to stay. I want to see them take the picture, and open the presents..." She backed away from the spirit, her eyes glistening with tears. The spirits voice was gentle, but firm as she reached out and touched Sheridan. "I'm sorry, but there are other Christmas' to visit..." When the light faded they were still in the same room, but the scene was very different. A Christmas tree still held precedence in the room, but many of the other decorations were gone, including the home-made ones and the stockings.

A sad little girl, Sheridan, age seven, sat on the couch dressed in a fancy velvet outfit. She picked at the ruffled hem as a very sober looking Julian entered the room. "Don't do that Sheridan! If you want to ruin your clothes perhaps the servants can find some of their children's hand-me-downs for you." He grumbled arrogantly at her. "Yes Julian." She replied obediently as she slid from the couch and followed him to his desk. "Julian?" "What?" The man didn't look up from the paper he was perusing. "Is Father coming home? Are we going to have the family picture made this year?" Sheridan asked, her pretty blue eyes sad and hopeful at the same time. Adult Sheridan felt tears prickle her eyes.

"This was the first Christmas after my mother died." The spirit only nodded, her eyes still on the child. "Family picture?" Julian snorted. "Certainly not... there will be no more of that foolishness in this house. And besides, Father will not be coming home anyway. Business... you know how it is Sheridan." Little Sheridan knew all too well how it was and she nodded sadly. "Very well... now run along and play... you're bothering me." She wandered away sadly. She was always a bother to someone. She paused in the hall, considering finding Ethan. He would be spending time with Ivy... they were always together this time of night. Sheridan knew she could join them. Ivy was always nice to her, but nobody really cared about her... well... almost nobody.

In the kitchen Sheridan found the one person who really seemed to care about her. Pilar. Sheridan climbed onto a stool at Pilar's elbow and watched the woman roll out dough for pie crusts. Pilar smiled at her. "What's wrong Honey?" Sheridan shrugged. It was nothing unusual. "How come you aren't at home with your kids Pilar?" Pilar gave her another smile, one that didn't quite ring true. "Oh, I have things to do here first. They are with their Papa... he will read them the Christmas story and they will sing carols. Then Papa will help them hang their stockings, and put out milk and cookies for Santa Claus."

Sheridan smiled, wishing she could do special things with someone too. "You know what?" Pilar asked. Sheridan shook her head. "I think there are some cookies in the cupboard... and I can get some milk... what do you think? I imagine Santa will be pretty tired after bringing all the presents to you and Ethan." Adult Sheridan smiled. "Pilar was really all I had after Mother died. She always did her best to make me smile. After Mother passed everyone in the house got so cold... and Father never came home anymore..." The spirit nodded and held out her hand. Sheridan didn't resist this time... she knew it was futile.

This time the light faded to reveal a dorm room in a private school in Europe. Sheridan, now about twelve, sat on her bed and watched her roommate, Brooke, prepare to go home for the holidays. "How come you aren't going home?" Brooke asked. "Oh," Young Sheridan said cavalierly, as though it didn't matter, "They're spending Christmas on a yacht in the Caribbean this year. I told them I'd rather stay here than lounge about on some old boat." A total lie of course. Her family was right at home where they usually spent the holidays... they just didn't want her there. Brooke accepted the lie easy enough. She nodded and proceeded to tell Sheridan about the fun she would be having at her Grandmothers over the holiday.

Adult Sheridan watched the scene replay before her, remembering it well. It was the first holiday she hadn't been allowed to spend at home. She had spent Christmas day that year alone in her room, crying her heart out and trying to figure out why her family hated her so. "That was my first Christmas alone... the first of many..." She said. "I know" The spirit replied as she once again urged Sheridan away. "Come Sheridan, we have one more Christmas to visit." They were in her hotel suite in Paris. It was Christmas eve and Sheridan was alone, decorating the small tree she had set up before the window. The tree was the only allusion to the holiday, except for the huge fruit basket with the red bow. It was a gift from the concierge of the hotel... one given to all the permanent residents of the hotel.

The spirit and real Sheridan followed her to the park across the street, where she settled onto a bench across from the playground. As they watched a young girl, about ten years old came to sit beside her. "Hi" "Hello there." Sheridan replied, smiling at the child. "Which ones are your kids?" The little girl indicated all the children on the swings and climbers. Sheridan's smile turned wistful as she replied, "I don't have any children." "Oh. Well you and your husband should have some. We're lots of fun..." The girl giggled. "Hey, you know what we're doing tomorrow? I'm gonna wake Mommy and Daddy up super early to open presents... then we're going to Auntie Beth's for dinner. I know a secret surprise that Mommy has for Daddy. We're getting a new baby..." At that point Sheridan rose from the bench and walked away, unable to listen to anymore, as her heart ached for what she didn't have and wanted most... a family to love who would love her back.

Real Sheridan turned to the spirit with tears streaming down her face, as they were once again enveloped in the light. Once back in Sheridan's bedroom she wiped at her tears and said, "Why did you show me that? Why? All it's done is make me miserable." "Because you needed to see it." The spirit replied. "It's time for me to take my leave..." "Wait!" Sheridan cried. "Can't we go back to the happy Christmas, just once more?" But the spirit was gone...

To Be Continued...