Holes You Left In Me

Authors Note: Well, I know I said I was done writing chapter-by-chapter stories, but I know where I am going with this one and am serisouly considering on finishing it if anyone likes it, lol! So tell me what you think (:

Chapter 1:

"I know, I know. I'm just not ready." "Sheridan, you can't-" Sheridan sat down and sighed, covering her face with her hands. "I know Gwen. I have to forget about him. he doesn't love me anymore, I need to move on. I know." Luis stood around the corner, hearing Sheridan's words. "God, if you only knew how much I do still love you." "Sheridan, I love you sweetheart, I don't want the rest of your life to be like this. I know none of the men that ask you out here appeal to you, but maybe if we went somewhere else once in awhile?" Sheridan shook her head. "No, Gwen. I know you are only trying to help me, though. But I just wouldn't feel right." Luis, still listening to their conversation, was relieved Sheridan turned down all those men. He scolded himself for it, though, because he was being selfish. He left Sheridan, left her alone, broke her heart. Even though he wanted her happy, he just couldn't bare to see her with any other man.

Sheridan smiled at Hank when she saw him walk into the club, and over to their table. "So, how are my two favorite ladies tonight?" He asked, leaning down and giving Gwen a kiss on the lips. "I'm great sweetheart," Gwen smiled up at him. Hank scooted next to her in the booth. Hank noticed Sheridan’s face and gave her a concerned look. "Not so hot, Sheridan?" She smiled a half smile at him and looked down. Gwen and Hank shared another look. Hank began to say something, but was interrupted by a voice booming through the speakers. "Sheridan, we're ready for 'ya." It announced Sheridan smiled weakly at him, then back at Gwen and Hank. She made her way up to the stage, picking up the microphone. The music began and she put her heart and soul into singing, like she did every Tuesday and Thursday nights at the Harmony Blues club.

Luis leaned back sitting at his usual seat in his usual table. It was all the way in the back; and assured him that Sheridan would never know his presence. And for the last month, she never had.

It seems so far to go
It took so long to get here
Now I'm saying things I swore I'd never say
and I'm afraid again
I thought I had it in me
I used to be so sure
There I was stronger than ever
And here I am blaming the hurt

Luis knew all the songs that Sheridan sang at the club. He saw what she put into them; her soul. He noticed how she very rarely sang a happy song. They always seemed to be sad, depressing. There was something else he saw, even though he strived to overlook it. He saw how in some ways, all of the lyrics to songs she sang represented him. They represented the hurt.

And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I'm the only one who can help me find my feet again
Sweet little fighter
Sweet little scar
Sweet little fire
in my heart

It seems so easy now
everything I dreamed about when I was a child
It looks like a good thing's here
and I think I'll stay for a while

He hated it. Luis hated the hurt Sheridan was experiencing. He hated seeing it when he looked in her eyes. He hated seeing it in her mannerisms, he hated not seeing that smile on her face. He hated what Hank, what Theresa and Ethan told him about Sheridan. She was in so much pain.

So was he. Breaking away from Sheridan was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life. It was strange, too. When he found out his father was dead, and that Sheridan killed him he didn't think he could experience anymore pain. He was hurting so badly and he finally realized why. It wasn't because he didn't have a father, it wasn't even because Sheridan killed his father. It was because he missed her. Luis would've rather never found out about his father, just as long as he could be with her.

And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I'm the only one who can help me find my feet again
You came in screaming
and never stopped to listen to your one and only prayer
A place for you somewhere

Sweet little fighter
Sweet little scar
Sweet little fire
in my heart

And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I'm the only one who can help me find my feet again
And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I'm the only one who can help me find my feet again
And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I'm the only one who can help me find my feet again

Applause rang through the club as the song ended. Sheridan forced a smile the people who praised her singing. In the back, Luis clapped too. This was the one thing he never had found out about Sheridan when they were together, her beautiful voice. "Sing another one, Sher bear?" A man shouted to her. Sheridan's face contorted into confusion. She knew almost everyone here, but this man wasn't familiar to her. "I'm sorry, but, I have to cut it short tonight." She replied politely, setting the mic back into its position and heading back to her seat with Hank and Gwen. Stopping her in her tracks, the same man jumped in front of her. "C'mon sweetheart, one more." The man was heavy and his teeth were stained and yellow. He gave Sheridan an ugly grin and she cringed at the stale smell of his breath.

Stepping back a little, Sheridan replied, "I'm sorry." Luis was very attentive to what was happening as he sat in the back of the club. He saw the disliking in Sheridan's face and sat up straight, just waiting to pounce on this man. "Sugar, don't waste that wonderful voice of yours." The man said, stroking Sheridan's shoulder. "No!" "Hey, leave her alone, she said no!" Hank retorted, standing up. "C'mon." He pulled her to him and she struggled in his grip. "Stop!' Sheridan shouted. He forced a sour kiss on her as she continued to struggle. Immediately, Luis shot up. Running like lightening to the scene, he knocked the man away from Sheridan. He punched him in the face repeatedly until his face was black and blue and red blood seeped out his bleeding lip.

Sheridan sat in the corner, Hank and Gwen hovering over her trying to comfort her. Her arm was black and blue from the man's grip and she whimpered fearfully. "How dare you do that!" Luis shouted at the man. "How dare you!" Sheridan tearfully looked up, and her eyes widened at the sight of Luis. She hadn't seen him since he broke her heart; little did she know how many times he'd seen her. "If you ever, ever lay a finger and I mean a finger on her again I'll kill you! I swear I'll kill you!" Luis let go of the man's collar, and shoved him across the room, causing him to fall into the speakers. Sheridan's gaze never left him as he walked towards the door. He opened it, and slowly turned around. Sheridan's eyes caught with his, and a fire burned through both of their bodies. Sheridan searched his eyes for some meaning, for some love that still may be held in them. For a moment, before he turned around and left the bar, she thought she might have seen it.

To Be Continued...

Chapter Two Sheridan stood in front of the window. She laughed at Hank who waved to her and gave her a silly grin. She watched Hank and Gwen pull away. Sighing, she made her way over to the couch and sat down. It was such a confusing night for her. She sang at the club, as usual, but tonight had been a horrifying experience for her, but such a wonderful one, too. When that man had his hands on her, forcing himself on her, it had been horrible. She shivered at the awful thoughts of it. But then, she had seen Luis. He had saved her from that horrible man. Sheridan shook her head in confusion. She had figured that Ethan or Theresa had let Luis know of her newfound singing hobby at the Club. Still, she didn't know what he was doing there. She thought maybe he had come to see Hank, or just stopped by after work.

Her mind told her that it had nothing to do with her. That Luis wasn't at that bar to see her. He was a police officer, and of course that was why he rescued her. Her heart told her differently. It said he was there to see her, and that he saved her because he did still love her. Sheridan dropped her head desperately trying to fight the tears. He did love her once; she was sure of it, no matter what her mind tried to tell her. Silently, tears ran down her face. The hurt was a constant ever since Luis left her.

~Flashback~

Sheridan smiled when she heard the front door open. 6 o'clock was her favorite time of day, it was when Luis came home. "Hi sweetheart!" Sheridan happily sang as she walked over to him. She threw her arms around his neck, and stood on her tippy toes to give Luis a kiss on the lips. When she brought her lips to his, he swiftly turned his head the other way. Hurt, Sheridan pulled back and set her feet on the ground, giving him a confused look. He stepped out of her embrace and walked towards the window, folding his arms in front of him. Tears sprung to Sheridan's eyes. Why wouldn't he let her kiss him? Was he mad? He had never been like this before. "Luis...what's wrong?" Sheridan said, cautiously placing her hand on Luis shoulder. He turned around and gently shrugged her hand away from him. Sheridan's breath caught in her throat. She was panicky, what was wrong? She couldn't take him being upset with her. "Luis!" Sheridan said, her voice choking in her throat.

He stood still, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. Tears welled in the back of his eyes, too. "Please talk to me Luis. Please!" Sheridan pleaded. Luis turned around. Seeing the hurt and confusion at his rejection stabbed him like a knife in his heart. "Sheridan...I." Luis rubbed his face. "You..." "You killed my father, Sheridan! You killed my father!" Luis was crying now. Sheridan just stood there, shocked at what she was hearing. Luis pulled a cassette out of his pocket and tossed it on the table in front of Sheridan. "You killed him, Sheridan!" Luis choked out. "You killed him!" "I...." Sheridan sobbed. "I..." Luis gazed long and hard at Sheridan, turned, and walked out the door.

~Present~ Sheridan's heart hurt from the memories. Was life always going to be this cruel to her? She wasn't sure if she could take much more. Luis wasn't coming back to her, she knew. Her whole life she had hoped, but her hopes always seemed to let her down. Except for those happy days she shared with Luis, they were more than she had ever hoped for. But now, she wouldn't let herself carry the false hope that Luis would be back with her someday. He once told her he would always love her, and maybe, just maybe, he would. But they would never be together.

Luis yawned and took a sip of coffee the next morning at the Lopez-Fitzgerald house. Thoughts about the night before stood fresh in his mind. When he had first started going to the club to hear Sheridan sing, he promised himself he would never let her know he was there. No matter how much he wanted to pull her off stage, hold her in his arms and tell her everything was all right now, he knew he couldn't. Luis didn't want to think about the fact that she may have really killed his father. He wondered how that could really be possible? She was just a little girl; surely she didn't do it on purpose. Not for a second did he think Sheridan was some sort of evil, demonic child. No matter what happened, though, she took his father away from him. He didn't know how to forget it, his heart told him to, his mind told him not to.

Luis had kept it to himself this whole time. Alistair told only him, and Luis could tell Alistair was hoping Luis would lock Sheridan away for it. But he couldn't, and wouldn't do that. He made up a story about why they were apart to his family and friends. He assumed Sheridan had, too. His might retorted back to the night before. Luis started fuming again just thinking about the man who had assaulted Sheridan the night before. He remembered the terrified look in Sheridan's eyes and the way it seemed to disappear when she saw him. "Mijo?" A voice startled Luis. "Mama," Luis said. "Good morning." "Morning, Hijo. Would you mind running a couple errands for me?" "Of course not, Mama." Luis sighed and set down his coffee cup. His thoughts of Sheridan and what to do would just have to wait until later.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 3

Sheridan combed her hair and brushed her teeth. Walking out to the living room, she checked her appearance and headed for the club. Gwen and Hank had tried to convince her not to sing there anymore after what had happened the week before. But Sheridan refused to give up the one thing she enjoyed because of some jerk. Sure, that had been a very upsetting tramatic experience, but now she just wanted to forget it. They wanted her to press charges, but she just didn't want to go through that. So many things were on her mind, so much stress and pain, she just couldn't add to it. Luckily, when Sheridan arrived at the club, the man was nowhere to be seen. Sheridan made her way over to a booth by herself.

"Sheridan?" Looking up, Sheridan smiled; she was truly happily to see Ethan. "Ethan! Hi! What are you doing here?" She asked, smiling at him. "Well, thought I would come to hear my favorite Aunt sing again. Besides, I wouldn't want you here alone after what happened last week," he said. "But...we don't have to talk about that now," He added when he saw her head drop. Luis walked in the club, looking around. He spotted Sheridan at a table with Ethan. As he headed to his usual seat, he saw a handsome blonde haired man walk up to the table. "Hi, Sheridan!" the man chirped. "Travis." Sheridan looked up and smiled weakly. "Hello." "Singing again, tonight?" "Yeah. I'm here every Tuesday and Thursday," She smiled.

"Sheridan, I know you haven't been dating lately, but I was wondering if you'd like to go somewhere with me sometime." "Travis, your a nice guy- but-" "Come, on, Sheridan. It's been almost two months since that that jerk left you. Forget about him. Give me a chance." Sheridan's defense kicked in. "Luis isn't a jerk!" "Look, she isn't ready, so leave her alone, okay?" Ethan came in for his Aunt. Luis sighed as he watched this scene. He was so lucky there were other people to be there for Sheridan when he couldn't. God, how he wished he could. Just then he saw Sheridan head to the stage. The introduction to the song started and Luis recognized this one. He remembered the melancholy look on her face as she sang it.

Looks like something's coming looks like there's gonna' be a storm looks like everyone's running looks like everyone's torn Hands to blades as day light fades all this shaking has swimming from dry land Looks like everyone's broken looks like everyone's lost look at all the money we're making we don't even see what its cost Hands to guns as nighttime comes all this shaking has swimming from dry land Looks like war in valleys looks like war on hills looks like war in schoolyard first thing we learn is to lie Hands to skies for morning rise why can't we start again swimming from dry land swimming from dry land swimming from dry land

Luis gave Sheridan the round of applause she deserved and left the bar, counting the days until she sang again. ********************************************************** Sheridan stepped out of the bathroom, confused look on her face. This was certainly very strange, she thought. Searching her purse for the small black calendar, she pulled out her compact. Fingering the smooth silver surface in her hands, she remembered when Luis had given it to her for the second time.

Flashback "What’s this, Luis?" She asked. "Just...a little something from me. Something I thought I should return to you." Sheridan smiled up at him, admiring his eyes. "Well Sheridan? Open it." She carefully opened the little box, unfolding the tissue paper to reveal the treasure held inside. She picked it up, smiling at the memories. "Luis...when you told me you found this, I was hoping someday you'd return it. It's so special to me." "You're so special to me, Sheridan." Luis said, lightly slipping his hands around her waist. "I love you." The two shared a passionate kiss. "And I love you, Sheridan. I always, always will. Don't ever forget that." Present

Her eyes teared up. She brought the small mirror up to her chest and kissed it, wishing it was Luis' warm lips inviting her. Slipping it back in her purse she sat on the couch. She thought of all that had happened. For her whole life her worst fear had been that she really had murdered someone that night. Her one other fear was that she might not find anyone who truly loved her and that she would always be alone, having to witness the happiness and joy of those around her and always yearning for it. For a short period of time both these fears were banished. She had Luis, and Eve had confirmed that all her nightmares were just that, nightmares. Now the fears were back and this time they were reality.

Sheridan was so very ashamed of herself. She'd really killed someone all those years ago. Sometimes she thought she should be paying for it, but thought that things couldn't get any worse considering her status of nothing with Luis. She was paying, all right. Paying the highest price there was to pay. Eventually Sheridan snapped out of her thought. Thinking only hurt her more. Suddenly she remembered the reason she had retrieved her purse in the first place. She got up and pulled the shiny black calendar out of it, fingering through the pages and stopping on the previous month, and then the one before that. The lines on Sheridan's forehead wrinkled in confusion. She was right about the dates, but it didn't make sense. Sheridan felt her stomach flip flop at the thought that ran by her mind. "No," she said to herself, shaking her head and slipping the little date book back into her purse. "I've heard that when woman are stressed or have a lot on their mind, their bodies get out of course." She took a deep breath. "That must be it." She assured herself.

Luis walked out of the store and the colder winter air hit him like a ton of bricks. He read over the list Mama had made for him. Looking in his bag, he confirmed he'd picked up all the groceries they needed for the rest of the week. Luis' mind spun as he drove home. He was being eaten up inside and he didn't think he could stand seeing Sheridan at the club one more time without talking to her, holding her. He also thought back to the conversation he had shared with Hank, his only confidant in the matter and the only one who knew, the day before. He reminded him of everything Alistair and Julian had done to try to keep Ethan and Theresa apart.

"What makes you think they aren't playing the same games with you and Sheridan?" He had said. He told him that no one plays games about life and death. But now, he was seriously doubting that. Luis knew he had to deliver these grocierys home to Mama. After that, he decided, he was going to find the truth.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 4:

Sheridan spun around a couple of times, surveliancing her appearance in the mirror. She placed gold studs in her ear and headed to Theresa and Ethan's engagement party. Goosebumps laced Sheridan's arms and neck as the cold winter air pierced her skin. She shivered and sped up her pace to the mansion. She knew Luis would be there. She say dreamed about what she wished would happen. Luis would come in the door, and push past all the guests to Sheridan. He'd pull her into his arms and tell her that Alistair was lying, that he was sorry and he loves her.

Then they would go home and make love all night long. Sheridan smiled wickedly, remembering the times in bed that they'd shared. It was fabulous. She remembered the first time they had made love. Eve had checked on her and subtly told then that Sheridan was free to engage in any "strenuous activities" that she chose. Luis had filled her entire bedroom with pink and white candles. It was glorious; the most amazing thing she had ever experienced: making love to her one true love.

She snapped out of her thoughts when the mansion door flew open. "Aunt Sheridan!" Ethan exclaimed. He embraced her and she hugged him back. "Sheridan! Theresa yelled, running up and throwing her arms around her. Sheridan laughed at Theresa's excitement. "Congratulations again, you two. I brought something for you." Sheridan extended the small box adorned with shiny gold wrapping paper and a big red bow. Theresa took it graciously. "Oh Sheridan, you didn't have to get us anything! But thank you!" "Of course I did, Theresa, I'm so happy for you two." The couple started to head into the parlor, but Theresa turned around. "Sheridan...my brother should be here anytime now. I don't know what’s wrong, but I hope so much you'll work things out." She said sympathetically. Sheridan nodded her head. "So do I, Theresa. So do I."

Half an hour later, Luis walked tentively into the mansion. Sheridan saw him embrace his sister, followed by a warm smile and handshake with Ethan. Sheridan knew how far Ethan and Luis had come for Theresa...and once for her, too. Once, she could've sworn they were becoming friends after over hearing a conversation between the two. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Luis follow an excited Theresa through the room. She knew he hadn't seen her yet and she waited nervously to be noticed. Slowly she raised her eyes and saw Luis stop dead in front of her. He said nothing, but pierced her with a stare she had never seen before and couldn't read.

There was so much she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him she was sorry for killing his father all those years ago, wanted to thank him for saving her the week before and beg for him to accept her even if she was a murderess. She'd rather spend her life in jail knowing Luis loved her then spend her life free without him. But the things were not to be said; as Luis' gaze and feet turned and he walked steadily out of the room. Tears stung as Sheridan dropped her head and picked a spot on the floor to replace Luis' deep hazel eyes. ~*~ Tears poured freely down her eyes as she stepped in the cottage. What a night.

Sheridan wasn't sure why she was crying; probably because everyone else at the party seemed to have been when she left. God, she could never, never had prepared herself to what had happened that night. So many people's lives left in shambles. No one wants to be alone in their pain, grief or suffering. But how Sheridan wished that these people had kept their happiness, even if hers had been ripped away. As she thought about what happened, another pain clenched her heart. Ethan wasn't a Crane

The one person who had always, always been there for her wasn't even related to her. Not her nephew. She always believed that Ethan got her through the 25 years of her life without Luis. Without Ethan and the family love and concern he had had for her, she wasn't sure she would be here now. After all, for so long he was the only one who showed love and compassion toward her. Now she could only imagine what would happen with Ethan and Theresa. Sheridan wasn't sure if she believed what Rebecca had said or not, in her opinion the woman always seemed to be up to no good. Sheridan wouldn't be surprised if she was in cahoots with Alistair; he's succeeded in tearing Luis away from Sheridan, now naturally he would move to Ethan and Theresa.

Sheridan woke up late the next day. She remembered something and quickly headed into the bathroom. She walked out frustrated and anxious. The doorbell buzzed, though, and she converted her attention to that. Walking over, she pulled open the door to see a morose Ethan standing in front of her. "Ethan." She whispered. "Come in." He headed in and sat on her couch, holding his face in his hands. Not knowing quite what to do; she sat next to him and stroked his back in a calming manner. "I'm sorry to intrude, Sheridan." He said quietly. "I just needed somewhere to go." "Of course not, Ethan. You're never an intrusion." He looked up and she smiled a little. "Aunt Sheridan-if I can even call you that-" "Of course, Ethan. I'll always be your aunt, blood or not." He smiled for the first time that day. "Go see Luis." "What did you say?" Sheridan was surprised, she'd expected him to talk about everything that had gone on the night before, and understood, surely he’d need a confidant. "Go see him. He's at the mansion." Confused, Sheridan stood up, and without thinking twice, ran as fast as she could to the Crane mansion.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 5:

Panting and out of breath, Sheridan swung open the mansion door and stepped in, trying to catch her breath. Suddenly, she thought about this. Why had she run over here like this? Was the fact that Luis wanted to see her enough to do anything? She looked back at her cottage. She wasn't sure she should have left Ethan like that...but if he sent her out, then there must be a reason. The mansion was suspiciously quiet and to Sheridan the silence was deafening. Stepping in, she listened for anyone's presence. All was silent. It certainly did not seem like anyone was there. She stepped in further, and saw a figure enter the room. She whipped her head around and there as Ethan promised was Luis, waiting for her. Sheridan tried to swallow the lump in her throat and waited for him to respond. "Before..." She heard him say. "That night, before Alistair requested my presence...I did something crazy."

There was a pause; Sheridan wasn't sure if this was the point where she was to speak or if he was going to continue. "Maybe for a lot of people, it wouldn't have been crazy." He said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "But for me, to make such a huge decision spontaneously...well." Sheridan watched as Luis pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket. Her mouth dropped open as a small but beautiful diamond glittered on a gold band that rested snug in its case. She gasped and covered her hand with her mouth.

Luis shut the case and slipped it back into his pocket. "When I bought this, I knew it was crazy. I knew people would it was much too soon. I didn't even know if you would have said yes. All I knew was that I loved you and I always would." Tears filled her eyes as she listened to his words. "Sheridan I would never make a promise that I couldn't keep. I told you I would always love you and I will. Always." At this moment warmth and happiness filled Sheridan, yet she wondered why he didn't take her into his arms and hug and kiss her. He body yearned for his embrace.

"But I can't.... I can't be with you. I asked Ethan to get everyone out of the mansion, so I could look. Well, I did. There's nothing, nothing. No evidence that you didn't kill my father...actually, just more that you did." She finally realized what was happening; he was saying goodbye, for good. "One more. I need one more kiss." He whispered. Sheridan locked her mouth with his, savoring the feeling of his kiss that she hadn't felt in so long, and the last. He brought his hand to her cheek, stroked it, and was gone. Sheridan fell into a pile on the ground, rapid tears shedding and falling down her face.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around. "Sheridan." Ethan said. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know he why he wanted-." "Oh Ethan." Sheridan cried, falling into his arms and sobbing. It was over for her. Over. Sheridan clung to Ethan and looked up with fright as she saw a figure appear at the door. "Father!" She chocked. "Get out of here. Now!. This isn't a place for bastard children and murderesses." He boomed. Sheridan felt someone pull her from Ethan, and the strong pair of arms pushed her as well as Ethan out of the door and it slammed shut with a loud thud.

Luis drove home, tears welling and falling from his eyes. Sheridan most certainty wasn't alone in her agony. He still wasn't sure he did the right thing. And even though he made it sound to Sheridan that he was sure she killed his father all those years ago...he wasn't. But he also wasn't sure that she didn't. So bad he wanted, needed proof that she didn't.

Luis still felt bad about what he did. He told Ethan he needed to see Sheridan, and it was apparent that Ethan thought Luis was going to make up with her. She had such hope in her eyes when she saw him. He just wanted her to move on. He knew she wasn't, either. Just mourning over the loss of him. He loved her so much and he couldn't bear to see her unhappy...yet he couldn't be with her, either. Another lone tear slipped down his face. He didn't know what to do/

"Gwen....I just don't know what I'll do if....." "Sheridan, calm down. Don't 'what if.' You'll know soon enough." Gwen said to her. Sheridan studied the small box of the pregnancy test. "Plus if you are pregnant, minus if you're not." She repeated. The timer beeped. Sheridan stopped in her tracks. "Well?" Gwen said after a moment. "Aren't you going to check?"

She sat down on the couch next to her friend. "I don't think I can." Her eyes pleaded with Gwen to do it for her. "Sheridan..." "Please, Gwen? I just can't. I don't have the courage to look." Gwen sighed and stood up, walking to the coffee table. Sheridan waited anxiously as Gwen picked up the small stick. Gwen turned to face Sheridan. "Well?" Sheridan couldn't read her expression. "What is it?"

To Be Continued...

Chapter 6:

Trembling, Sheridan stepped up to the stage. A million thoughts fluttered through her mind. How she'd found the strength to get to the club that night she didn't know. "Well?" Sheridan couldn't read her expression. "What is it?" There was silence. Sheridan stood up. "Gwen?" "Sheridan, you're...." She trailed off, taking a deep breath and shaking her head. "Yes?" Sheridan placed a shaking hand over her mouth "Sheridan... you're pregnant." Luis saw Sheridan head to the stage, microphone cord dragging behind her. She looked so...so sad. Of course, she always looked sad. It was just something different today; something Luis couldn't put his finger on it.

Luis had realized he had no discipline. Last Thursday, and the Tuesday before that, he had decided that it was going to be the last time he watched Sheridan sing. He needed to move on. His heart had broken in two and every time he saw Sheridan the remains shattered into even smaller pieces. He didn't think the hurt was going to go away, he was sure it wouldn't. He hoped it could be dulled.

March around
Jericho loved the music
and fell
into your arms breathless

Heard a sound
Shut my eyes so tight
Heard the whisper of a storm coming

Oh, funny how
we spent this time waiting around
It's a lie
everything you felt until now



Luis' eyebrow rose. God, she was beautiful. But so fragile...the look on her face made it seem as if you touched her too hard she would break. He was mesmerized by the song she was singing...he'd never heard her sing it before.

Saw her dancing
The floor gave way
Opened its mouth
to say her name

Saw her falling
cast away
cast away
she learned to fly one day

Oh, funny how
I spent this time on the ground
It's a lie
everything you felt until now

Sheridan watched the crowd, who was riveted on her performance. She put everything she had into singing. Suddenly, Sheridan scanned the crowd. Her eyes landed on the dark, handsome figure that sat in the back corner of the bar. It was Luis. Sheridan was lucky that this part of her favorite song was laced with "oh's"...otherwise, she wouldn't have been able to song. Her breath caught in her throat, and she wasn't sure whether her heart stopped beating or speeded up. Tears glazed her eyes.

I won't cry...she thought. I have Luis' baby, but I don't have his love. A small tear trickled down her cheek and she felt sobs trying to escape her chest. She turned her gaze from Luis and put all her effort into finishing the song.

Same place I've always been
I'm just lost on these roads again
just as I got near the end

Not being able to help it, Sheridan's gaze turned toward Luis as she struggled to sing...

I keep falling in the
Holes you left in me....

The microphone landed with a thud on the stage ground. Sobbing, not being able to contain it anymore, she ran off stage, hearing the echo of the lyrical-less music floating behind her. She ran outside and leaned back against the building in the cold night air, falling into a pile on the ground. She felt arms encircle her...without looking up, she knew it was Luis. She buried her face deep into his shoulder and sobbed harder than she had before. Harder than when she'd been buried alive, harder when he'd left her, harder than when he'd said goodbye; harder when she found out she was carrying his child.

She didn't know it, but she was as much as a comfort to him as he was to her as he sobbed along with her. They stayed like that for what seemed like so long, letting all the hurt, anger, pain and suffering out for good. She pulled away, and looked him in the eye. "Luis...I'm pregnant." Sheridan pulled out of his arms and turned so her back was facing him. "I'm losing it all. My whole life, I've lost it all. I lost my mother when she died. I lost my father...who I never even had.

I lost my brother when father decided he had to 'convert' him. I lost my childhood which was snatched away because of my damned name. Now, I lost Ethan. One person who's always been there...I find out he isn't really my own flesh and blood." Luis stood in shock, not being able to comprehend what she was saying...what she had said before.

"Worst of all...worst of all I lost you. Now I have your baby." Sheridan placed protective hands around her stomach. "What's having a child if you don't have the person you love, the only person you'll ever really love there with you to celebrate it." She sobbed, "And now everyday for the rest of my life I'm going to look at an innocent person who'll I'll resent for no damn reason. Only because they'll be so much like what I could've had." "Sheridan...you're...why didn't you tell me...."

"Because I don't want you to come back to be because I'm having a child. I killed your father. I did! I killed him! I want you to love me... I want you to BE IN love with me...I don't want you to owe me something because of a baby!" Sheridan struggled to talk through her tears. She walked away. He stood there, bewildered, shocked and body flowing with every emotion possible. It hit him like a ton of bricks. He was going to have a baby. A baby.

They were going to have a baby. He looked up as Sheridan took off down the sidewalk. He had to say something...tell her something. What was rushing inside of him. They were having a baby...and he was happy. "Sheridan!" He called. "Sheridan!…I love you!" She stopped, and spun around. "A boy, Luis. It's a boy." And she kept walking.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 7:

"She told me." Luis spun around, coming face to face with Ethan, who walked in from the living room. "In fact, I just came from the cottage. She told me she's carrying your baby. She told me everything." Luis sunk into a chair in the kitchen and held his face in his hands. Ethan sat across from him. "I tried to talk to her but...but I think I've already hurt her too much, beyond repair. I don't know what to do- I just don't know." said Luis.

"For years, you've hated my...maybe I should say my former family, Luis. Only to discover that Sheridan was nothing like the profile of a Crane. And fell in love with her. For once, Sheridan was happy. Now you're going to take this? You're going to accept that you were wrong, and that Julian and Alistair are the innocent ones and Sheridan is the killer?"

Tears dripped on the table below Luis. "I don't what else to do, Ethan. There's no options- there's just....just." His voice faded. "I've always relied on reality, on truth. More than anything I want to believe she didn't kill him. But she did. Alistair and Julian have protected her all these years, and even though it's surprising to me that they would....I can't find proof, evidence, something that this isn't true." Ethan glanced at the clock and sighed. "Luis...I have to go. I know your hearts breaking, and maybe you'd like to forget about it all. But now's there is a baby involved, and with a child there's no forgetting."

Tears crept towards Ethan's eyes when he picked up the frame picture of him Julian and Ivy. He hadn't cried in so long that tears stung his eyes and felt strange flowing down his cheek. All he'd ever known, the people, the lifestyle, it wasn't ever even his for the claiming. Everything would be so different. He slipped the picture in the box next to him. Carefully, he picked up the now empty bookshelf and moved it across the room. When he came back, he noticed something. In the wall, there was a square outline. He came closer. To the right, he saw a small handle.

He finally realized it was a trap door. Now extremely curious, he slowly pulled the door open. Inside, the hole crept far back into the wall. Ethan slipped his hand in, and pulled out manila envelopes, check boxes and more. None of it caught nor held Ethan's attention; he could guess what all these papers were. As he started to set them back, he noticed a small envelope in the back of the hole.

Setting the other documents down, he pulled it out. It was addressed to "my family" and written in big, curvy letters. Ethan opened it and pulled out a piece of old writing paper. It was stained yellow and smelled of dust and mildew. He unfolded it, and began to read. "Oh my god." said Ethan, hand covering mouth. ~*~ Nervously, Sheridan tapped her finger on the magazine she was reading. She heard laughter and looked up. A mother and father were leaving the hospital with a small bundle of joy in their arms. The parents exchanged loving glances and beamed.

Sheridan smiled at the sight. She couldn't help but imagine it was Luis, herself and their little baby. How wonderful that would be. She was snapped out of her daydream when she heard her name. "Sheridan." Luis said softly. "Hi." She forced a weak smile and looked down. He sat next to her in the waiting room. He stared in awe at her stomach, not believing that there could be a little baby in there, their little baby. He noticed a tear streak her face and turned away. He couldn't handle watching her cry anymore.

"Sheridan Crane." A nurse held a clipboard and smiled at Sheridan and Luis. "Right this way." Sheridan followed the nurse and Luis followed Sheridan to the exam room. Everything the nurse did fascinated Luis. When she pulled up the sonogram, it was amazing. Sheridan couldn't help but smile at Luis. He had asked her if he could go with her to her next appointment. She was weary about him being there with her, but told him she wouldn't mind.

This was all so new, so strange to Luis. He saw his little baby move in his mother’s womb. It brought a tear to his eye which he attempted to hide from Sheridan and the nurse without success. Inadvertently, he moved his hand to her stomach and stroked it as he watched. Sheridan beamed. It felt so much like they were together. "There is your little baby boy, strong and healthy. In six months you two will be very proud parents." Luis and Sheridan exchanged glances, which turned to gazes. They shared a long heart felt stare. God, it felt like they were together. How much they both wished they were.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 8:

Ethan shook his head, and sat down on the bed. He couldn't believe what he was reading. He finished the letter and looked up. For the first time since he had found out he wasn't a Crane, he was relieved. Relieved that he wasn't a member of such an- evil, pure evil, family. He read the letter again...

To my beloved family, Pilar, Luis, Theresa, Miguel and Paloma, I am so very sorry for what I have to tell you right now. Never would I intentionally leave you or harm you. My family is the world to me and I love you all more than anything. Someday, I'll reunite with the people I care so much about- if it is the last thing I do. Antonio sends his love, too. My darling Pilar, I will take care of our son the best I can in the conditions. Please, I ask one thing of you: get away from the Crane's. Stay away from them. I have to do this for your sake.

You see, Antonio and myself were at the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm so terribly sorry for that, too, but it wasn't worth putting all of you at risk. You are all strong, and I sincerely believe you'll make it without me. To my children- Luis, Theresa, Miguel and Loma, I love you all so much. You are my pride and joy I even though I won't be with you I'll be thinking of you every minute of every day. You've all made me so proud, I love you so much.

To my Pilar: darling, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you more than life itself and I will never stop. I am so sorry. Someday, I hope you and the kids will forgive me. All my love, Martin Ethan's own eyes filled with tears reading the emotional letter. He couldn't believe what he had read. Hearing Julian scold the maids, he quickly stuffed the other materials in their hiding place and shut the cubby door. He slipped the folded letter in his pocket and left the mansion.

Luis drove home in his cruiser. He couldn't stop thinking about how he was going to have a little baby. It brought a smile to his face. But it saddened him knowing that he and Sheridan couldn't share their joy. He promised her he would always be there for his baby. And he would. As he pulled into the Lopez-Fitzgerald house, he wondered how he was going to tell Pilar. She didn't know why they were spilt up, but he knew she would encourage him to make things better for the sake of her grandson.

He pulled open the fridge door and pulled out a beer. Plopping in a chair he took a swig. Only a few minutes later the ringing phone summoned him to get up. He sighed and answered the phone. He heard a small 'hi' sound on the other end and immediately recognized Sheridan's voice. He'd just left her; he wondered why she was calling. "Sheridan? Uh...Hi. Hi." "Luis? Ethan just came over. He- he told me to call you and come to the cottage. That he has something to show us both that can't wait." She said softly.

"Well...alright. Do you...have any idea what it is about?" He asked. "No. I don't; only that it is supposedly very important. "I'll be right there." He said and left the house. He was peaked with curiosity as he drove to the home of the woman he loved ~*~ There was a knock on the door and Ethan immediately sprung up from Sheridan's couch and welcomed Luis in. Luis saw Sheridan send a wistful gaze his way and jerked his head to avoid looking in those beautiful blue eyes. Ethan's words interrupted Luis' daydream.

"I have something...something very important to show you both." He stated. "I was cleaning everything out of my room in the mansion." He stated sadly, "And I found a hole- I guess a secret hiding place in the wall. I couldn't help but look and I- I found this." Ethan presented the yellow envelope. He carefully opened it and read the letter in his hands one more time. "Here." He said. He handed it to Luis. Sheridan scooted close to him and studied the message carefully also.

Ethan saw the distorted, confused looks appear on both of their faces as they read the letter. There was a long drawn-out pause and Ethan knew they must've read it over and over. "I'm sorry, Luis. Sorry that the people I called Father and Grandfather for twenty-four years are monsters. Don't hold it against Sheridan. She's innocent. You knew it as well as I did the whole time. I love her so much and knew even as a child she wasn't a murderer."

Sheridan looked up at Ethan with tearful eyes. Luis didn't move. As if stuck in a trance, his eyes were glued to the stained sheet of paper in front of him. "Papa." Sheridan heard him whisper. Finally, he looked up at Ethan...and then at Sheridan. Her eyes pleaded with him and his searched hers back. Ethan slipped out un-noticed as the conversation exchanged between their eyes; but really between their souls. Luis stood up and planted his feet in front of the window, where he stared out, still clutching the letter.

"I should be...should be rejoicing that my father is alive. Happy knowing I was right when I said he wouldn't just leave us. Happy that my big brother might just be okay." He paused, and after a moment turned to face her. "I should be out there, arresting those bastards Julian and Alistair who drove him away and threatened him in the first place. I should be searching for my father." He said taking a step towards her. Sheridan stood up and walked to him.

"But all I want." he said, bringing his hand slowly to her cheek. "All I want is to tell you I'm sorry. All I want is to beg you to forgive me." He stroked her face and looked deeply into her eyes. "Oh, Luis." She choked out. He embraced her and they cried together for a million reasons on each other's shoulders. He pulled slightly away. "All I really want...is to love you." A choked sob escaped and her heart pounded in her chest. She knew this, his look and mannerisms- they meant he was going to kiss her. Kiss her. Again. Finally. He brought the back of his hand to her cheek and lowered his face to hers. His arms enveloped her body and he sealed her lips with a heart-stopping kiss.

To Be Continued...

Chapter 9:

Her heart pounded as Luis kissed her, and she kissed him back for everything she was worth. The familiar feel of his arms, folding and caressing her body sent a shot of warmth throughout her body. How much she'd missed this how much she'd missed him. Sheridan felt him pulling away; perhaps for air but she just couldn't let his lips seperate from hers. After another moment he pulled away. Sheridan smiled a little and she saw him staring at her so intently. "Sheridan, I...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." His words were choked when he finally spoke and he shook his head with regret.

Oh, but Sheridan couldn't stand to see the sadness on his beautiul face. "No, no no no." She said, holding his face in her hands. "You didn't do anything wrong. None of it was your fault." She then realized how much she loved this man: he had put her through so much pain. Intense, throbbing pain that pulsated through her with her every move, every action, every word. Now that it seemed everything would be alright she could just forget it so easily as long as she didn;'t have to see him cry. He looked down and was silent for awhile as she waited for him to speak. She continued when he didn't.

"Luis, I'm so sorry. Whatever Julian and Alistair did to chase your father and brother off....I'm so sorry for. Oh god Luis, I'm sorry." "No," he said, cupping her cheek with his hand. "You're nothing like them, nothing. It's I who's at fault for believeing it. Even if you were just a child, you were the same person. You were you with that wonderful kind heart that I love so much. I should have never doubted you. I put you through so much pain...."

Luis' voice choked again. Sheridan captured his mouth on hers, not being able to talk because of her eagerness to feel his lips on hers again. "Luis." She said breathlessly after a moment. "There's so much to talk about....figure out, straighten out. But right now, I can only think of one thing. I need you, Luis. Oh, I've missed you so much." He kissed her full force. "Make love to me again, Luis. Please make love to me." Luis scooped Sheridan up lovingly into his arms and carried her to her bedroom.

Sheridan blinked as the bright morning sun happily shone in her bedroom. She yawned and rubbed her eyes a little. Joy spread to her face when she became aware of the strong arm draped uder her and over her stomach. She turned in his strong embrace. She hadn't had time to wonder if she'd dreamed it; but still wasn't sure it could really be real. She didn't kill him! She didn't kill Martin Fitzgerald!

In fact, he could be alive somewhere. How wonderful that would be, if the man of her dreams and his family whom she loved so much could be reunited with their father, husband, brother and son. Sheridan cursed Julian and Alistair for driving them away and said a silent prayer to being them back. Suddenly a warm pair of lips were resting on hers. She smiled at Luis' awaking and kissed him back. "Morning." He smiled. "Morning." She kissed him again. It had seemed like forever since they had made love; and the night before it had been wonderful. So very perfect and wonderful.

Luis pulled her as close to him as possible and she snuggled up to him. "So." He whispered in her eat while caressing her stomach. "Did you have any names in mind?" Sheridan's forehead wrinkled in confusion. She smiled then. She'd forgotten all about this! Not only was she back where she belonged, Luis' arms, but they were having a baby that they could celebrate together. "Hmm." She sighed, closing her eyes on his chest. "I can only think of one name that would suit him. After his father, the most wonderful man in the world." Luis raised his eyebrows in approval, "I think I could deal with another Luis jr."

Sheridan giggled and punched him playfully in the stomach. "I really do love you, Sheridan. And I'll love our baby so much. And one day, I promise, we'll have a house full of babies!" She laughed again. "Yes, but not too soon. I want to contribute as much of my time as possible to you." He laughed and kissed her. "Sounds good to me." They made love all day and night. They were together-finally-again. ~*~ Luis pointed to a picture of Ethan covered in make up as a child in an album. "You're looking pretty stylin' there buddy." He laughed. "Hey." Ethan said laughing and defending himself, "That was Sheridan's doing!"

"My doing. Why Ethan, I thought that was you're 'thing' back then..." Sheridan laughed and sat down between Ethan and Luis. Luis and Sheridan got a kick out of it. "Very funny. But really, Luis, don't be surprised if you come home to little Luis Jr looking like that!" Ethan laughed and patted Sheridan's stomach. The three sat in the Lopez-Fitzgerald living room, looking over Ethan and Sheridan's photo albums which were packed into boxes to be moved to Ethan's new room.

Luis had lent his room to Ethan, who in the midst of tough times found himself with no where to stay. And of course, the room wasn't used much anyway: Luis had done everything but permanetly move in Sheridan's cottage. Sheridan and Luis both felt forever in debt to Ethan; without what he had found they might have never been reunited again. And, to Luis' surprise, Ethan Bennett wasn't a bad guy after all, even if he had been raised a Crane. Sheridan hugged and kissed Ethan goodbye and Luis offered a friendly pat on the back.

"Again, Luis, thanks so much for letting me use your room. You know, I just wouldn't feel comfortable living with Sam..." "Hey, no problem. You'll always be welcome here." Sheridan beamed as they left the house. Luis and Ethan were becoming friends, and she couldn't be happier about it. "Sheridan." Luis said, squeezing her hand. "You know that soon we're going to have to tell everyone eveything that's happened. Eventually I'm going to have to face Alistair and Julian." He said with concern for her in his eyes.

"I know, Luis. It's always going to be there even if we try to avoid it. I'm not looking forward to dealing with everything." She said taking a breath, "But we'll get through it together." "Together." Luis agreed, sending an assuring smile her way. He wrapped his arms around her and they walked home in the crisp spring air Trials and problem's lie in the sunset ahead of them; but they had already passed the biggest test of time: the strength of their love. Through everything that was bound to happen, they had each other. And that was enough for both of them. And finally, all the holes were filled up.

THE END