LUIS LOPEZ-FITZGERALD lowered the beer bottle from his lips and stared out the small cabin's window, watching as the snowflakes slowly began their trek down from heaven. He couldn't remember how many times as a child he had wished for a White Christmas, a White Christmas that never came - until now.
He shook his head then let out a ragged breath. Snow falling on Christmas Eve just didn't mean the same thing now as it would have had he still be a kid or even the man he had been last Christmas. A snowflake smacked against the glass of the window, but he didn't give it much attention. Hell, he barely gave anything his attention anymore.
Ever since Sheridan's death a little over three weeks ago, he had been walking around in a daze, a daze he couldn't seem to shake himself from. There was so much he hadn't gotten to show her. So much he hadn't gotten to tell her. They had wasted so much precious time in getting together and now their time had ended, before it had even really begun. It had ended with one fatal shot, a shot that had not only taken her life but his life as well.
He would never recover from the blow he had gotten when he found her lying motionless on the floor of her cottage. How could he? He'd found the woman he loved more than anything else in the world dead, dead before he'd even gotten to tell her how he felt about her.
If he hadn't wasted so much time denying what he knew to be true in his heart things might be different now. Then again his denying his feelings for her wasn't what got her killed. No, what had gotten her killed was the fact that he had let the FBI talk him into leaving her. He hadn't done what he was supposed to do. He hadn't protected her. He had let her down. And because of that he could never and would never forgive himself.
He pushed himself away from the window then walked toward the fire on the other side of the room. Its flames were hot and steady, but it did nothing to help the coldness seeping its way through his bones. He sat his beer on the fireplace mantle then picked up the photo beside it, the one he sat there when he arrived four days ago.
He walked over to the overstuffed sofa and lowered himself onto it, clutching the photo in his hand. Blue eyes, sparked with life, stared at him through the glass and the pain in his heart intensified. She had so much love and so much life, he thought tracing her angelic face with the edge of his right thumb, it was still hard to believe she was gone. His heart still refused to believe it. He may have held her in his arms and checked her pulse himself, but his heart still said she was alive, even though he knew it was impossible for it to be true.
"Sheridan," He whispered leaning back against the cushions and clutching the photo to his chest, "why did you have to leave me? We had so much left to say to each other and so much left to do."
He closed his eyes and pictured her angelic face, as they stood in the kitchen of her cottage waiting for the coffee to be ready.
He pulled her head closer and covered her lips with his. The kiss was different than the other ones they had shared tonight. He could feel it and taste it in her kiss. He pulled back and stared into her sparkling blue eyes. "Just when I thought your kisses couldn't get any sweeter."
Something flickered in her eyes, but it was gone before he had a chance to figure out what it was. She raised a hand to his face and her voice took on a serious tone. "Remember that kiss when were apart Luis. Remember how I feel about you."
He stared at her for a second then smiled and raised a hand to the back of her head. "You can count on it. I couldn't forget even if I wanted to. And I don't."
He pulled her in for another kiss then just like that the image faded and he was back in the cabin... alone, alone with his memories of her. He reached up then angrily swiped the tears away from his eyes. It was Christmas, a time for miracles yet the only miracle he wanted was impossible to achieve. He wanted to feel her in his arms again. He wanted to touch her beautiful face and stared into her sparkling blue eyes. He wanted to kiss her and tell her all the things he had been to afraid to say.
But that would take a miracle, a miracle he knew could not come true, not when she was buried six feet under ground. He should have stayed in Harmony so that he could visit her tonight, but he hadn't been able to deal with all the holiday spirit and he hadn't wanted to bring everyone else down with him. So he had left. He knew mama understood and he was glad of that. He didn't want her to be sad that he wasn't spending Christmas at home, but he knew she was just as he also knew he would not have been able to handle it.
How could everyone celebrate Christmas when Sheridan was gone? He didn't understand that and he never would. She was his life, even if she never knew it, and he would not celebrate a holiday without her. He couldn't because he'd always, always wish she were celebrating it with him.
He opened his eyes then got to his feet and replaced the photo back onto the mantel. He ran his fingers over her face then forced himself to turn and make his way into the bedroom, where he could lay down and sleep the night away. He didn't want to still be awake when Christmas morning came. Maybe he could... maybe he could sleep through all of Christmas. He felt like he could. He was tired. He had no energy. It took everything he had inside him to watch them close that casket then bury her in the ground, he just didn't have anything else left in him.
He shook his head then ran a hand through his hair and threw himself onto the bed, his feet partially dangling off the side. He raised an arm up to cover his eyes then forced himself to relax enough to fall asleep. Maybe when he woke up all of this would just be some horrible, horrible nightmare. Maybe... just maybe Sheridan would be here when he woke. He drifted off to sleep knowing it wasn't possible, but still praying to god it would happen.
* * * * *
Something brought him out of his restless slumber and he lay there in the dark trying to figure out what it was, but then he heard it, the soft fall of footsteps against the wooden floor of the cabin. Someone was there. He reached over to grab his gun off the small table beside him only to realize a split second later that he hadn't brought one with him.
The footsteps grew closer then all of the sudden they stopped. He could feel the person watching him, but he didn't sense danger. He sensed... His eyes popped open and he scanned the room until he found her, standing in the doorway of the bedroom, a big beautiful smile on her face. "Sh.... Sheridan?"
She nodded then walked inside the room. She reached out and he shot across the bed out of her reach. "Luis? It's me."
"No." He whispered bringing his hands to his face and shaking his head to clear it of the outrageous dream he was having. "You can't be here. It's not possible. It's not. This is just a dream."
"It's not a dream, Luis. I'm real. I'm here. We can be together now."
"What?" He asked lowering his hands from his face and staring at her in shock. "Surely you don't mean... Am I dead? Is that how this is possible? Did I die in my sleep?"
She opened her mouth then closed it again then opened it again. Her voice was soft, her eyes glistened with tears, yet it was the words she spoke that hit him in the heart. "No you aren't dead and neither am I. I was never really dead. It was a setup, Luis. It was a setup to catch the drug cartel."
He stared at her letting the words play in his mind, but all he could focus on was her beautiful face as she began to walk around the bed to him. He backed up into the wall unconsciously then flinched when she reached out and touched his face, her palm warm against his skin. "See Luis, I'm real. I'm not a ghost. This isn't a dream. You're wide awake and I'm very real."
He reached out a tentative hand toward her face then released a deep breath when his hand connected with her soft as porcelain skin. "Oh my god. I'm not dreaming, am I? You really are real. You really are here."
"Yes," She whispered smiling into his eyes. "I'm really here."
"Oh dear god," He whispered wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight against his chest. "You're alive!"
"Yes, I am," She said with a lighthearted laugh as she hugged him back just as fiercely as he hugged her. "And I got here just in time to spend Christmas with you!"
"Christmas." He replied pulling back and framing her face with his hands. "This is all I wanted for Christmas, do you know that? All I wanted was to hold you in my arms, but I didn't think -"
"I know." She said placing a finger of her lips as more tears fell from her eyes. "I'll explain everything later. Right now, I... Right now I want you to kiss me."
"I think I can handle that." He said smiling into her eyes as he lowered his lips to hers. "I missed you so much."
"I missed you too." She whispered as his lips finally covered hers. He didn't think he had ever felt anything more perfect in his life than kissing Sheridan again. It was as if he'd suddenly been given a second chance and he didn't plan to waste a minute of it.
He moved his hands from her face to her waist then picked her up off the ground and swung her around in his arms, his lips never leaving hers. He felt like a kid again, he'd just gotten the greatest gift of his life. The woman he loved more than anything else in the world was alive and she'd come to him just in time for Christmas.
It was a miracle, he thought pulling away and staring into her bright blue eyes, an honest to goodness Christmas miracle. He raised a hand to her cheek then whispered the words he had always been too scared to say, but now felt relieved that he had the chance to say them. "I love you, Sheridan."
"I love you too." She said throwing her arms around his neck and pulling his head back to hers. "I love you more than anything else in this world."
"That's a good thing." He said smiling down at her, his lips just a breath away from hers. "Because you're stuck with me... forever."
"Forever isn't going to be long enough." She said leaning in to kiss his lips. "I want eternity."
"You got it." He whispered as he covered her lips with his and backed her up until they fell across the bed, laughing. "I'm never going to let you out of my sight again."
"Does that mean you'll still guard my body?" She asked arching a brow at him. "Because I may not be in danger anymore, but I'm pretty sure I'll need someone to keep an eye on me. Are you up for the job, Officer Lopez-Fitzgerald?"
"I'm more than up for the job, Miss Crane." He replied leaning in to place a kiss against her lips, as his hand roamed over her back and pressed her into his chest. "In fact, it would be my pleasure to guard your body."
"Then I think your first order of business is to do a very thorough investigation. You should be fully aware of what it is you're guarding."
"Yes, I think you're right." He smiled at her then in one quick movement he rolled them over so that Sheridan's back was flat against the mattress. "You know I think this might be the best job I've ever had."
"Then what are you waiting for Lopez-Fitzgerald? My body is a little cold from being outside. I think it could use a little warming up."
"Well I think I can do something about that." He said placing his forearms on both sides of her head then lightly fingering her curls with one of his hands. "I really do love you, you know."
"I know." She said smiling as she pulled his head down until her lips touched his. "I really love you too."
His lips covered hers then and soon they were both heated up, far more than either of them could have imagined. It was a Christmas to remember and he was absolutely positive it was the best Christmas of his life. Sheridan was alive and she was in his arms, right where she belonged and he'd make sure he reminded her of that every day for the rest of their lives. Because now that she was back in his arms, he was never going to let her go again. It was then he realized that that old cliché was true... True love really does conquer all.
THE END