Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with nor do I own the show Passions, James E. Reily, or the any of the characters in the show. I
am merely an obsessed Shuis fan who loves to write fan fiction about the
best characters on the show. So don’t sue me! Just sit back and enjoy the
story!
Rating: PG-13 as of now
Summary: This story takes place right after where today’s episode
(12/6/02)
left off. To let you know where I stand, I personally don’t like where
Shuis’ storyline is going right now because they should be together!
But
what I disliked most was the way that Luis acted today. Don’t get me
wrong,
I absolutely adore and LOVE Luis, but his behavior lately is getting on
my
nerves. There is absolutely NO WAY that I can agree with his decision
to
marry Beth! And I didn’t like how he seemed to be all smug about it,
just so
he could hurt Sheridan. Oh well, hopefully Luis will regret his
decision and
do something about it before it’s too late. The only thing I don’t
think I
can stand anymore is Beth. If I hear her say “Luis and I would have
been
married if so and so didn’t happen” (-you fill in the blanks) one more
time,
I think I’m going to scream! My philosophy on the matter is that if
Luis had
really loved Beth enough to marry her, they would’ve found a way to be
married already. The fact of the matter is, Luis and Sheridan belong
together and should be getting married and that’s what my story sets
out to
accomplish. Just to warn you, if you don’t see eye to eye with me on
this
issue (that is, if you don’t take Sheridan’s side over Luis), then you
might
not like this story, but please take the time to read it! Feedback is
appreciated, but remember, I did warn you how the story was going to be
ahead of time! :)
Chapter 1:
Sheridan turned her back to him. Trying to hide her face and the pain
she
knew it reflected. But most of all, she wanted to hide her eyes, which
were
beginning to fill with unwanted tears. She had to be strong, for
herself and
for Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald, whose days were tragically numbered. She
wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around the man she truly
loved,
his brother, Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald, but in the present circumstances
she
knew this was not to be. She wanted to marry Luis. To run over to him,
kiss
him passionately, and to run off and elope with him somewhere romantic.
But
this couldn’t happen because she owed her life to the dying man
sleeping in
the very next room, the man that loved her more than life itself and
the man
whose heart she just couldn’t bear to break in his final days. Antonio
was
to be her husband, no matter how much she didn’t want that to happen.
She
had to make his little time left memorable to thank him for everything
that
he had done for her.
But she also had to ease her own conscience. She was overwhelmed with
feelings of guilt because she felt she was the reason that Antonio was
sick.
It was all her fault that he was going to die because she had
carelessly
lost a large sum of money that Antonio had to pay off by racing cars.
Sheridan sighed and closed her eyes as the horrific memories came
flooding
back. The terrible car race that Antonio had almost died in that
started his
illness was the first thing she saw. Images of smoke, fire, and her
crying
over an unconscious Antonio lying on the pavement brought back all the
feelings again.
How could she have done all this? How could she have
caused
such pain for one family? And how could Luis ask her to just walk away
from
all of it, leaving Antonio to deal with everything by himself when he
was
practically on his death bed?
As much as she hated to admit it, the man she loved with all of her
heart
and soul was only making a bad situation worse. Sheridan knew she was
hurting Luis and hated herself for doing it, but what choice did she
have?
The only thing she requested of Luis was that he let her spend
Antonio’s
last days with him and then, once he died, she and Luis could be
together.
He had become angry believing that Sheridan would sleep with his
brother but
Sheridan swore that that wouldn’t happen. She knew that all Antonio
really
needed was the woman he loved near him, just like he had been there for
her
so many times. Sheridan did have to marry Antonio so he wouldn’t
suspect
that anything was going on, but she didn’t even know if things would
even
get that far because Antonio’s health was deteriorating rapidly.
And
even if
they did marry, Sheridan had told Luis of her deep love for him over
and
over and that they would end up together. But still Luis’ temper flared
and
now he had gone so far as to say that he was going to marry Beth, his
former
girlfriend and fiancé.
Deep down, Sheridan felt that Luis was doing this to spite her, to get
her
back for hurting him. Or maybe he was doing it out of pity. Pity for
Beth,
whom he had promised to marry before Sheridan had come back to Harmony.
Whatever the reason, it was the wrong one. Sheridan was only marrying
Antonio to pay him back for saving her life countless times and to
making a
dying man she cared deeply for as happy as she could before he died.
There
was no wrong reason in that. Luis didn’t even believe that Antonio was
really going to die, but he wasn’t getting any better; instead he was
getting progressively worse by the day. Death was inevitable for
Antonio. So
then, why couldn’t she make Luis understand? Why couldn’t he understand
that
what she was doing was out of love for him, and for the sake of Pilar
and
the rest of his family? She couldn’t be the one to take Luis’ brother
from
him and Pilar’s son from her, not to mention away from the rest of the
family by abandoning Antonio and leaving him to die.
No, she couldn’t
live
with anymore guilt, she’d had that unwanted feeling with her throughout
her
whole life and it wasn’t something she wanted to feel ever again.
Now here was Luis, standing behind her and telling her that he had
promised
himself to someone else. What was she supposed to feel? What was she
supposed to say to that? I hope you’re happy with the wrong person? Or
should she say, I hope you’re enjoying intentionally hurting me like
this
just because I’m trying to do the right thing? Sheridan was confused,
hurt,
and feeling more betrayed than she ever had before right now; she was
definitely not in the right frame of mind to discuss this right now,
but she
knew she had to face Luis.
Wiping away her tears, Sheridan shakily took
a
deep breath and turned to face Luis.
“Tell me this is not true Luis,” Sheridan questioned.
“I wasn’t lying Sheridan, its true. I’m getting married………………..….to
Beth.”
“Luis, how could you marry her!?”
“What do you mean, how could I marry her? Don’t act so surprised. I was
engaged to her before you and I still care very much about her.”
“But you love me and I love you and we belong together!” Sheridan said
angrily.
“Sheridan,” Luis started.
“Look, I do love you but you chose to be with
Antonio. Father Lonigan gave you a choice and you chose my brother.”
“You know damn well why Luis!”
“Look, would you just calm down Sheridan…………….Your screaming is not
going to
help anything.”
“No, nothing is going to help! And you want to know why? Maybe it’s
because
maybe you haven’t once looked at things from my point of view!
I’m in an impossible situation here. I am being torn apart by having to
choose between you two.”
“Why, you already made your decision anyway!” Luis was now becoming
just as
angry as Sheridan.
“Yes,” Sheridan continued. “And that was to save your brother’s life
and to
give him a few happy days before he dies! Is that really so much to ask
Luis!?”
“No!”
“Well then why are you behaving like this? Why are you being so
immature?”
Sheridan asked, apparently annoyed and frustrated with Luis.
“Immature?” Luis asked sarcastically. “I’m being immature?”
“Extremely.”
“How do you figure?”
“Because first you put an enormous amount of pressure on me to tell
Antonio
that truth about us when you know damn well that he can’t handle any
emotional shocks because it could kill him. I mean, come on Luis! The
man
lost his eyesight and he wasn’t even upset! Doesn’t that tell you that
he’s
not well and is most likely going to die very soon? And then you give
me an
all or nothing situation, telling me to decide to be with you now or
else
things are over between us. You forced me to chose between you and your
brother when you know very well that I love you more but also that I
can’t
hurt Antonio or to just desert him like that.
And now, you have the
nerve to
come in here acting all smug about marrying Beth when you’re obviously
just
trying to hurt me or take pity on her! How could you behave like this
Luis?”
“How could I!?” Luis asked, quite astonished. “Maybe because the woman
I
love and wanted to be with is marrying my brother! How’s that for
starters!”
“How can you be so selfish!? You’re brother is in there, slowly dying
as we
speak!”
Sheridan exclaimed.....................“All Antonio has done is
thank everyone for being so wonderful and spend his time praising all
of us
for being such amazing friends and family yet all you can do is
complain
about our situation and think about your own selfish desires! I don’t
know
about you, but I cannot cause a man’s life to end just to make us both
happy.”
“I wasn’t asking you to do that Sheridan!”
“Yes Luis!” Sheridan said as her cold blue eyes penetrated the hazy
depths
of his eyes.
Sheridan calmed down and her voice took on a quieter, more
solemn tone. “You were asking that. The thing is, do you really think
we
could have been happy knowing that we were the reason that Antonio
died? Do
you really think you would have been able look at yourself in the
mirror
everyday, knowing that you stole the last little happiness your brother
had,
a happiness that would have allowed him to die in peace? I don’t know
about
you, but I sure couldn’t have done that.”
“That’s not what would have happened Sheridan,” Luis said, walking over
to
the table to get a drink.
“You don’t know that!”
“Neither do you! I mean, who knows, Antonio could go on living for
years and
he could have been just fine if we had told him the truth.”
“Do you really believe that Luis? Look at the man. He is suffering and
anyone can see that his health is not holding up too well. Eve even
said
herself that once he lost his eyesight, the end was near………………………He’s
blind
Luis. He doesn’t have much more time.”
Luis put down his glass and turned towards Sheridan. “You know what
Sheridan? It’s obvious that we’re never going to agree on this issue
and all
of this arguing isn’t going to do us any good. Anyway, I’ve already
decided
to move on and build a life with Beth. I know she won’t ever desert
me.”
Sheridan looked up in astonishment. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Think about it.”
Sheridan’s mouth opened in surprise and her eyes began to fill with
tears at
Luis’ harsh words. Luis could then see that he had gone too far; he
never
intended to hurt her.
“Look Sheridan, I-”
“Save the apology Luis,” Sheridan forced out, holding back the tears.
But Luis could hear the pain in her voice.
“I don’t want to hear it. You’ve made it quite clear what you think of
my
decision.”
“Even still,” Luis said tenderly. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean that the
way
that it sounded.”
Sheridan looked at him with the wide blue eyes of a frightened young
girl
who was, once again, being abandoned and betrayed by a person she
loved.
Luis took one look into her eyes and almost lost his resolve to
maintain his
decision.
In a voice that was as quiet and meek as that of a small child,
Sheridan
spoke to Luis. “Do you really hate me so much to hurt me like this?”
Luis swallowed and found that his throat was dry and constricted to the
point that he couldn’t speak.
“I never wanted to hurt you Luis,” Sheridan said softly. You have to
believe
that. I merely did what I thought was right. I couldn’t find it in my
heart
to hurt your brother when he has so little time to live. It’s as simple
as
that.”
Luis nodded his head twice. “Okay Sheridan. I can understand a little
why
you did what you did. But by sparing Antonio from the pain, you’ve
given it
to me instead. I don’t know if I can forget that. But I do you love
Sheridan, more than you’ll ever know.”
“Then how can you marry Beth?” Sheridan eyes desperately searched Luis’
for
an answer.
It was a fair question. One that Luis knew he had to answer.
“Because I
need
to move on with my life with someone and I care about her. I can trust
her
to be there and to not hurt me. She’s a good woman, one that will be a
wonderful wife.”
“And I’m not good enough.”
“Sheridan, I never said-”
“Yes you did.” Sheridan closed her eyes and nodded her head slowly. The
pain
she felt now was like nothing she had ever felt before.
Luis ached to comfort her, to wrap his arms around her and never let
her go.
‘If only she knew the truth’….he thought. But that was not going to
happen.
Luis couldn’t let on that he didn’t really want to marry Beth and that
he
just was just forcing himself to move on so he could forget about
Sheridan.
But upon forcing himself to think more positively, Luis admitted to
himself
that he did care for Beth and did love her. Just not nearly as much as
Sheridan. He would never love anyone as much as Sheridan. But he would
forget about her. He made a promise to himself that he would force
himself
to do so, even if it killed him. That promise started with this moment.
He
had to leave now before he changed his mind. Turning his back on
Sheridan,
Luis walked over to the closet and grabbed his coat. At that moment,
Sheridan was gripped by a paralyzing fear; the fear of losing the man
she
truly loved.
“Where are you going!?” Sheridan cried, no longer bothering to try and
hide
the few tears that trailed down her cheeks.
“I’m leaving Sheridan. I’m leaving you and our life together………………..For
good,” Luis answered as he put on his coat.
“But you can’t leave!” Sheridan cried, gripping the front of his jacket
and
making him face her. “Please Luis! Don’t leave me!” Sheridan begged.
“I-I
love you and I can’t live without you!” Sheridan pulled him into a
passionate kiss. She pulled him tightly to her in a death grip and
refused
to let him go. Her mouth plundered his, and he couldn’t help but
respond to
her.
She kissed him over and over, almost desperately, as if she was
hoping
to change his mind. Luis, shocked at first but then drawn into the
kiss,
finally regained control of himself. Although it took all of his
strength,
he pushed Sheridan away.
“I’m sorry Sheridan,” Luis said pulling back from her and removing her
hands
from him. He stepped back, opened the door to her cottage. “Goodbye
Sheridan. I wish you nothing but happiness in the future.”
And with those final words, he was gone.
For several minutes, Sheridan didn’t even move. She was frozen in
place,
unable to respond to this dreaded turn of events; this was a greater
tragedy
than she could have predicted. Then, when she realized what had just
happened was not a nightmare, and that it was indeed real, the tears
came
flooding out of her eyes and she leaned on the door of her cottage for
support. She placed her hand on the door, knowing that that was
probably the
closest to Luis that she would ever be again. There she stood, with her
forehead resting against the door, losing all the control that she
usually
prided herself on having.
And all she could do was cry. She cried for
Antonio, who was on the verge of dying and she cried for Pilar, who was
to
lose for her eldest son for good. But most of all, she cried for Luis,
the
man she loved. She cried until she couldn’t cry any more and when it
was all
over, she cried some more.
It was all she could do. After all, to her, life was meaningless
without
love. Love meant security, happiness, and eternal bliss.
Within not
even
five minutes, she had lost all of that. What did her life mean now? She
would stand by Antonio’s side until he was gone and then she would be
left
with nothing. There would be no one to love her, no one for her to love
in
return.
Sheridan walked over to a small bureau on the side of the room. Using
the
designated key, she opened the drawer and took out her beloved photo
album
of her and Luis.
Soon she realized that looking over the pictures and
awakening the memories didn’t make it any easier to bear. She decided
that
she had enough of that. Looking in the mirror in front of her, she saw
the
tearstained face of a devastated woman, one that she barely recognized
as
her own. She sighed and closed her eyes as the tears continued to
fall.
Then something inside of her woke up. The tears stopped and the pain
subsided for a moment.
An inner voice told her this was not the end and
she
felt a kind of indescribable strength radiate through her. Her eyes
fluttered open and she straightened her chin. She lifted her head up
and
realized that she, Sheridan Crane, was so much stronger than this. She
picked up the picture album and slammed it shut, only to stuff it into
the
drawer below her. Her eyes reflected this strength, taking on a
mysterious,
dominant gleam and she even gave a small smile at her reflection.
It
was not
a smile of happiness or joy; it was a knowing smile that expressed her
will
to go on and to prove to everyone, but mostly herself, that she didn’t
need
Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald to survive. Life would go on. And so would she.
To Be Continued...