We Have to Trust

Luis looked over to Sheridan, who was quietly staring out the window. He placed his hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. She forced a small smile at him then returned to gazing out the window. Luis furrowed his brow then turned back to the road. He pulled into the driveway of Sheridan's cottage and stopped the car. He turned to Sheridan to speak, but found the seat empty and Sheridan already starting up the walkway. He got out of the car and jogged up to her, putting his arm around her waist and leading her inside. She turned on the light and put her pocketbook down on the table, walking inside. Luis threw his keys next to her bag and closed and locked the door behind himself.

"Sheridan? Baby, is something wrong? You haven't said a word since we left Theresa and Ethan..." he said, going up to her and taking her hand in his. "Of course sweetie, I'm fine.... I think I'm just tired.... I'm going to take a hot shower before we go to bed....." she said softly, looking at him with a forced smile. "Do you want some company?" Luis asked with a grin. "You know I would Luis, but I'm just really tired and...." "I know baby, it's okay...." he said, interrupting her. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat....?" "No, that's okay.... I just want to get some sleep...." "Okay... I'm just going to call the station first...." Sheridan nodded quietly and leaned in, kissing him softly. She headed into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

She silently undressed and wrapped a white satin robe around her body as she walked into the bathroom. 'Sheridan, get a hold of yourself.... stop thinking about it, its not a big deal.... you know Luis loves you, and you love him, so what's the problem? There is none.... you are together, nothing's going to break you apart.... Just because you aren't married doesn't mean you don't love each other, so stop thinking about it.....' she thought to herself. She started the water and put her hand under the running spout to test its warmth. 'But if he loves me so much then why isn't he even thinking of it....? He seems so adamant about it.... like he never wants to.... like he's not even considering it.... is it me....? I mean... he thought about it with Beth.... he said it himself...

I know we haven't been together that long but he hasn't even brought it up....' She reached for her brush and gently raked it through her hair. 'He didn't even ask me about it.... he just shut it out of his mind....' She slowly turned on the shower and water began to spray out. She stared into the mirror at her sad reflection and realized she had tears welled up in her eyes. 'He doesn't want to marry you.... he likes how it is now.... he's having his fun.... he would've thought of marriage by now if he ever loved you.... he doesn't want children or a house or a life with you.... you're a Crane.... you'll always be a Crane to him....

He would never want Crane blood running through his children's veins.....' The tears that had been threatening to spill out were now streaming down her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands as she sunk down to the floor next to the tub. 'He's just stringing you along Sheridan.... he would never marry you......' Soft sobs overtook her body as she bawled into her hands. 'You're so stupid Sheridan.....' She couldn't stop her tears as a soft knock vibrated through the room. "Sheridan....? Honey, you okay?" Luis asked through the door. "Sheridan?" Luis put his head to the door and listened. Even though it was almost drowned out by the running water, he could make out the sound of soft cries. "Baby, are you all right? Open the door...."

he said worriedly, turning the handle but finding it locked. "Answer me Sheridan..." he said, more determined. He shook the handle again but there was no answer. "Sheridan, talk to me or I'm coming in...." After waiting a second to hear an answer he threw himself against the door ... once, twice ... getting more frustrated and scared by the second. The door frame finally gave way and the door flew open, allowing Luis to enter. Sheridan was curled up on the ground in tears. Luis rushed down to her side, gathering her up in his arms. "Sheridan... oh god, Sheridan, what happened? Are you all right? What happened?" he asked, rocking her back and forth on his lap. He turned off the shower and gently picked Sheridan up in his arms. He brought her into he bedroom and sat down on the bed, with her on his lap.

She was clutching onto him, her face buried in his neck, as if her life depended it. "Okay... okay honey.... shhh... everything's going to be all right Sheridan.... shh.... its okay..." he said soothingly as he rubbed her back and pressed kisses into her hair. "Luis...." she cried through her tears. "Why...? Why don't...." she broke off into sobs. "Why what honey?" he asked softly, trying to calm her down. "Why don't you want to marry me.....?" she bawled, clinging onto him tightly. His eyes widened and he kept rubbing her back. "Is that what you're crying about baby?" he whispered quietly. "Awww.... sweetie..... don't cry.... shhh.... it kills me to see you cry....." he said, trying to quiet her down. After a few minutes of soothing words and soft kisses, Sheridan silenced her soft whimpers.

She started to get up when Luis pulled her close to him, hugging her tightly with his strong arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him back. "Sheridan...." he started weakly. "I love you more than life itself... you are my life.... I can't live without you...." She pulled back slowly, some more tears falling from her eyes. Luis cupped her face and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "But.... I don't understand...." she whispered, her voice cracking. "If you love me so much then why don't you want to marry me....?" "I do Sheridan, god knows I do. But I... I just don't think it's right for us right now.... Marriage is a big step honey...." "You think I don't know that? I do! But I know it's a step I want to take with you Luis!" "Sheridan.... we haven't been together that long baby.... I think we should just wait a little..." "Stop lying Luis....." Sheridan said, cutting him off and lowering her hands from around his neck. "What? I'm not ly..." Luis said.

"Yes you are. Stop. If you don't want to be with me then Pilar's right.... you should just tell me now," she said, staring at the ground. "Hey...." he said, lifting her chin up with his fingers. "Where is this coming from? I love you! I would never lie about that.... Sheridan, how can you not believe that...." Luis asked incredulously. "I didn't say you didn't love me Luis. I know you do. I said you don't want to be with me." "Of course I do!" "Then why don't you want to marry me?" Sheridan asked, pleading to him with her eyes. "I do! I just think we should wait.... that doesn't mean I don't love you. Please..... I just... I just think we're going so fast and we both said we weren't ready and..."

"You're lying again Luis." Luis opened his mouth to say something but Sheridan silenced him by placing her finger over his soft lips. "I know when you're lying.... you get worry lines on your forehead and you can never look me in the eye...." she said, staring into his eyes. He was going to speak again but he stopped and looked into her deep blue eyes. "I'm sorry...." he said quietly. "I.... I..." "Luis.... honey...." Sheridan sighed. "If you don't want to marry me fine, that's okay..... but I just want an honest answer why. No matter what the truth is..... if you don't think I'll make a good wife or mother then just tell me..." "Oh god Sheridan, no.... that's not it at all baby! You would be a perfect wife and a wonderful mother! I would be the luckiest man in the entire world to marry you!" Sheridan smiled softly at Luis' sweet words. "Then why....?" she asked him softly.

Luis looked at her longingly and brushed a strand of hair out of her tear stained face. "I can't lie to you..." he said quietly. "I'm sorry I made you cry....." "I just feel like I'm losing you over this...... everytime it gets brought up you just brush it off...." "You'll never lose me Sheridan..." he said, picking up her hand and kissing it softly. "Especially not over this..." "You don't have to tell me the real reason you don't want to marry me Luis. I just think that if we love each other as much as we do then we need to be honest with each other... but if you don't want to tell me then I understand...." She leaned in and kissed his temple softly and got off his lap. "I love you," she said smiling weakly. Luis still held onto her hand and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. He pressed his head into her stomach, staring down at the floor, while she laced her fingers through his thick, jet-black hair. "I can't tell you...." he said quietly, barely audible.

"You know you can tell me anything Luis.... anything you want to...." "I've never.... never had anyone that's been here for me. I love my family and they're great..... but I can't tell them what's wrong.... I can't burden them with my problems...." Sheridan kneeled down in front of Luis, so she could look him in the eyes. When he wouldn't look at her, she gently caressed his cheek and turned his head so he would. "Luis, you wouldn't be burdening them. We all love you and you can't keep your emotions inside like this. It's not safe.... it's not healthy... If you don't want to tell them then you can tell me... You can't be the strong one all the time Luis.... no one can..."

"I've always been the strong one Sheridan... I can't help it, I've had to be... for my family... it's who I am... If I'm not strong then who will be.....?" he asked helplessly. "Luis.... honey, Theresa and Miguel have grown up.... they can be strong for themselves.... and Pilars the strongest woman Ive ever known.... you need to open up to someone and I just hope that it can be me.... but when you feel up to it... I don't want to push you if you aren't ready...." "You're so good to me..." he said quietly, leaning in and pressing his forehead against hers. "I love you so much...." he whispered softly. She smiled sadly and leaned in, kissing his awaiting lips gently. They gazed into each others eyes for a moment before Luis spoke. "I'm scared..." "Of what?" she whispered. "You..... "

"Of me.....? That... that I'm not the one...?" Sheridan asked softly, afraid of the answer. "No. No Sheridan. There is no doubt in my mind that you are the one for me, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, I promise you," he said, kissing her hand. "Then why are you afraid of me....?" she asked, smiling sweetly at him. "I'm scared I'm going to hurt you," he said simply. Sheridan looked at him questioningly and he sighed softly. He stood up and started to walk around a little as Sheridan sat on the edge of the bed. "Since my father disappeared, I've tried to convince myself that something or someone took him from us.

Tried to convince myself that he would never leave us is he had a choice.... and believe me, I've done a good job so far...." he said as he started pacing. "I've been 99 percent sure through the years.... something took him from us.... he didn't want to go.... but there's that one percent..... that one percent in the back of my head screaming 'He didn't want to stay! He couldn't take being tied down! You weren't a good son! He didn't love us!" Luis said angrily, throwing his arms up. Sheridan wanted to interrupt him... tell him he was wrong and that his father did love him.... but he seemed like this had been weighing on his chest since his father left, so she let him talk.

"And no matter how hard I try I can't forget about it.... I can't realize that I have a beautiful, smart, loving woman here that loves me and that I love and want to marry, but no.... I have to go screw it up..." He ran a shaky hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. "It's just... if my father ran... and my brother ran... how am I supposed to know its not in my blood? How do I know that one day I'm just not going to pick and leave you, alone with three kids to raise by yourself?" Sheridan stood up and walked over to Luis, stopping his pace and pulling him into a heated, heart-stopping kiss. After a few intense seconds, Sheridan pulled away, kissing him a few short times. She silently led him over to the bed, sitting them both down.

"Luis.... you.... you are the most wonderful, caring, sweetest, loving man I have ever known.... Just beacause you're father may have left your family and just because your brother may have left your family doesn't mean that you will too.... it doesn't work that way honey.... I know you would never do something like that....." "Mama and me and Theresa and Miguel never thought Papa or Antonio would leave either but they did...." Luis said sadly. "First of all, you don't know that they wanted to go or that they had a choice..... And even if they did, that does NOT mean you will do the same thing.... I know you love us and I know you'll love our family...

I'm sure that your father loved you very, very much Luis.... and you were a wonderful son.... thats all Pilar ever says.... and just because no one in my family's done it, it doesn't mean I'm not going to run out on you one day.... but that's what marriage is..... we have to take a chance on each other...." Luis looked at the floor glumly, fiddling with his fingers. Sheridan massaged his cheek softly and forced him to look up at her. "We have to trust each other to live up to our vows..... I trust you with my life Luis.... I'm scared too, but I know we'll do this together.... and if you aren't ready to do that then it's okay, it really is Luis.... I don't want to force you to do......."

"Stop," Luis said, cutting her off. She stopped talking and looked at him, smiling lightly. Luis sighed happily and looked into her bright blue eyes, smiling weakly. "How did I ever get a woman like you?" "You're just lucky I guess," Sheridan said softly, smiling brightly. "Damn straight," Luis said grinning. "Are still tired?" Sheridan shook her head and smiled. "Well, how does a long walk on the wharf and some ice cream at McFarland's sound?" "Oh that sounds great Luis!" she said, hugging him tightly. "Let me just go get dressed and I'll be ready in five minutes, okay?" she said, pulling back and wiping the remnants of tears off her face. "I must look horrible....." she said, laughing lightly.

"Oh please, you know you're gorgeous Sheridan," Luis said, chuckling and rolling his eyes. She hit him playfully and stood up, ruffling his hair and smiling at him before going back into the bathroom. Luis sighed and went into the living room, walking over to the window and staring out into the starry night. He reached down and took the small black, velvet box out of his pocket. He moved it around in his hands and opened it, smiling at the beautifully set sparkling diamond on the silver band. He heard Sheridan call out to him and quickly shoved it back in his pocket. He turned around and smiled lightly.

"What did you say honey?" he asked. "I said are you ready?" she said, throwing her purse over her shoulder and walking up to him. Luis took a deep breath and took her hand. "Yeah, I think I am....." he said, nodding and grinning brightly. She smiled and led him out the door, locking it behind herself. They started walking, his arm around her waist and her cuddled up next to his chest. Neither realized that this night would be the first of many, both good and bad, that they would spend in each other's arms.

THE END