Lou walked out of the bunkhouse and stopped on the top step, staring out into the twilight. She could hear voices of the other riders as they decided to play poker from inside the small room she’d just left. A deep sigh escaped her as two in particular caught her ear. They belonged to Jimmy and Kid. For the last several weeks those two men had occupied her thoughts almost constantly and it was driving her crazy. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a movement out near the tack room. It was Teaspoon, sitting on a barrel as he enjoyed the balmy night air. Skipping down the porch steps, Lou made her way slowly towards where the stationmaster sat. Teaspoon had always been a wealth of good advice in the past; maybe he could help her now with her current problem. Teaspoon watched as Lou made her way towards him, shoulders slouched and a frown upon her face. “Hey there darlin’, something botherin’ ya?” he asked motioning for her to take a seat on the other empty barrel next to his. Letting out another deep sigh, Lou tilted her head and looked at the wizened man. “Kinda,” she told him not sure where to begin. Leaning back against the weathered wood, Teaspoon hooked his thumbs in his suspenders then cleared his throat. “Well, you just take all the time you need. Must be somethin’ important if it’s got you all tied up.” Lou nodded her head. “It does. I just don’t know what to do….” She looked back over at the bunkhouse where they could see the others through the window playing cards. “Mmmm, let me take a wild guess here. Could it have something to do with a certain two riders named Kid and Jimmy?” Lou’s head shot up. “How’d you know?” she asked surprised. It seemed like Teaspoon was able to read her thoughts. He laughed and patted her hand. “Ain’t to hard to guess with the way them two have been doggin’ you the past few weeks darlin’.” “They’ve been just a little obvious haven’t they?” she joked. “Just a bit,” Teaspoon laughed. “They both care for you and with the Express ending soon, they are lookin’ to the future. The thing is, they both want a future with you.” Taking a deep breath, Lou let it out slowly. “I know. They’ve both made it clear how they feel about me. That’s not so much the problem though. It’s me. I’m not sure what I feel, “ she paused here and looked at the night sky. Teaspoon let her have time to think of what she wanted to say and remained quiet, watching her in the moonlight. “I love them both, Teaspoon, just in different ways,” she admitted, never having said it out loud before. “I know you do darlin’,” he told her seeing how torn up she was over that fact. “With Kid, I know that if we got married he’d be a good provider. We’d have a house, maybe a few kids of our own in time. It’d be everything I’ve dreamed of. Then there’s Jimmy,” here she sighed again a fell quiet. “And how do you feel things would be with him?” Teaspoon prompted, needing to know what she thought before giving any kind of advice. “With Jimmy, I’m not sure how things would be. I know he’d provide for us if we were together but I don’t know if we’d have a house, the kids or the things I’d have with Kid. Jimmy’s…well, he’s just Jimmy. Kid makes me feel safe and protected. Sometimes overly protected and that drives me crazy. Jimmy keeps me on my toes; never knowing for sure what’s going to happen next. He lets me be me and doesn’t try to smother me the way I feel Kid does at times. They just confuse me….I don’t know what to do anymore.” Lou looked into Teaspoon’s kind face, hoping he’d have an answer for her. Teaspoon gave her a small smile. “I think I know what you’re trying to say. No one can tell you who to choose in the end, that decision has to be yours and yours alone. That kind of choice must come from the heart.” He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to speak. “Ah! Now hear me out. I may not be able to tell you whom to choose but I can give you some advice that may make that choice a mite bit easier for you.” Lou sat in rapt attention, waiting for his next words. “Through the years, I’ve made a lot of mistakes with all my wives. One of the things I did learn is that you don’t stay with the one you can live with. It’s the one you can’t live without; it’s the one that’s got you tore up in pieces; it’s the one you keep fretting about that you’ll be sorry if you let them get away.” Teaspoon stood up and stretched. “Now all you got to do is figure which one of them boys in there is the one you can live with and which one you can’t live without.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Good night, darlin’,” he told her softly and went into the tack room leaving her alone with her thoughts. Lou remained there on the barrel, lost in thought as she looked deep into her heart for the answer to Teaspoon’s question on which one she could live with and which she couldn’t live without. It was a long time later when she finally stood and made her way back to the now dark bunkhouse. The weight that had been on her shoulders was much lighter now. After a lot of soul searching she had realized which man she couldn’t live without. In the morning, she would set the two down and have a long talk with both of them. Unfortunately, one would be saddened by her decision but she knew she had finally made the right choice and couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he realized she was finally his and his alone. Drop me a note and let me know what you thought!