“So, when are you going to make an honest man of me Lou?” Jimmy asked the woman still lying in the bed he’d just gotten out of, as he settled his gun belt around his waist once more. She laughed softly, so as not to wake her sleeping daughter in the room down the hall. “An honest man? Now that’s funny James Butler Hickok. You an honest man!” With all seriousness, he looked her in the eye, cutting short another laugh. “I mean it Lou. I’m tired of sneaking over here after Ellie has gone to sleep. I want the right to wake up each morning with my arms wrapped around you. I want us to be a family.” Lou sat quietly, knowing that Jimmy wouldn’t wait for her forever. At least she didn’t think he would even though he had stayed around all the years since Kid died in that prison during the war. A sad look came over her face as she looked away from him. “Can we discuss this when Ellie isn’t around?” “Why? Do you figure we’re gonna have a fight and she shouldn’t hear us?” he gritted out, frustration evident in the way he held himself. “No, no! It’s just that,” Lou tried to explain before he got any madder, “every time I begin to cry she knows somehow and comes running. I don’t want her here when…well, I’d just prefer she wasn’t here when we talk about it.” Taking a deep breath, Jimmy closed his eyes and his shoulders dropped as the fight went out of him, knowing that she was right, it would be better if Ellie weren’t around when they talked. Not because she might cry, but because he wasn’t going to let her say “no” to him again and it might take some persuasion. Walking over to the bed, he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. As he stood he said, “All right. You win, for now. We’ll talk later. I’ll let myself out.” As Lou listened to Jimmy quietly go down the hall to the kitchen and let himself out the back door, she was consumed with thoughts of what happened the last time she had said “yes” to a man she had loved. Just over nine years ago she had given her heart to Kid and married him. She had thought that nothing could have destroyed their love but she was wrong. Well, it hadn’t exactly destroyed their love, but the war had taken her love away from her and he never came back. It was the fear of Jimmy’s ‘leaving’ her that kept her from saying yes. ‘I know that he’s been leading a quiet life since our Express days, but what if someone decided to come looking for ‘Wild Bill’ again? It’s been years since anyone called him out, but what if he does get called out? I don’t think I could go through losing another man that I love…’ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Later that morning, Jimmy was sitting in Teaspoon’s office, where he still held the title of sheriff. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you so blue, Jimmy. What’s eatin’ at ya son?” the wizened father figure questioned with concern. “It ain’t nothin’ Teaspoon,” Jimmy answered as he stood up and began to pace the floor in front of the jail cells. After several minutes of watching Jimmy walk back and forth, Teaspoon interrupted the young man’s deep thoughts. “I thought you was suppose to be going over to Buck’s place for a spell to help break some new horses he was buying from over towards Denver.” “Um, I am, but I sent word that I couldn’t come until tomorrow. Something’s come up and I need to take care of it first.” Tilting his head back, Teaspoon looked a little confused. “Well, then what are ya doin’ here if ya got something important to be doin?” “I can’t do it until after nine,” Jimmy told him turning to look at the clock who’s hands seem to have stopped they were moving so slow. “Nine? I don’t follow you at all son. What’s this about?” Teaspoon asked again, hoping Jimmy would finally tell him what was on his mind. “Lou,” Jimmy said, brushing a hand through his hair, an action Teaspoon recognized as a sign of anxiety in the man. “Ah,” was all the reply Jimmy got, as if just saying Lou’s name explained everything. Jimmy sat back down, expecting some sort of sage advice from his mentor, but all he heard was silence. “Ain’t you gonna say somethin’?” he asked on edge. “Is there something in particular you want me to say?” Teaspoon asked with a hint of amusement in his voice. With wary eyes, Jimmy studied the older man. “You always got somethin’ to say, whether I want to hear it or not.” Teaspoon looked hurt at the man’s words. “Well, it all depends on what is going on. Since I don’t know what business you have with Lou, I ain’t got nothin’ to say to ya on the matter.” “Humph,” Jimmy snorted, getting up to look out the window without really seeing what was out it. “I want Lou to make a decision. I’m tired of waitin’ Teaspoon. It’s been almost eight years since Kid died. If she ain’t ready to move on by now, she ain’t never gonna be ready.” ‘I feel for you son,’ Teaspoon thought to himself. He’d watched Jimmy loving Lou all these years, waiting, hoping that she’d finally commit to him and now it might just be happening. “Well, it’s about damn time you two made it honest. That way you won’t be sneakin’ ‘round town after dark all the time!” A look of surprise was on Jimmy’s face as he swung around at Teaspoons words. “You know about that?” Waving his hand as if to say, ‘it don’t mean nothing’, Teaspoon scowled. “Of course I do. So does Rachel. Not everyone in town goes to sleep when that little girl of Lou’s does you know.” Eyebrows raised, Jimmy remarked, “You ain’t never said nothin’ about it before. How come?” “Didn’t think it was my place to tell you two what to do and not to do. You’re both grown now.” Jimmy just shook his head, amused at Teaspoons logic. “Uh, Jimmy, by the way, it’s after nine now,” Teaspoon mentioned as he settled his hat down over his eyes and promptly began to snore. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ With a sense of determination, Jimmy knocked three times on Lou’s front door and waited for her to answer, not feeling that it would be appropriate to just walk in seeing how he was there to convince her to finally commit to him. Lou opened the door with a, “Yes…oh… Jimmy! Please, won’t you come in?” she finished, nervous butterflies taking flight in her stomach at the sight of him standing there. Never before in her presence had Jimmy felt so awkward or nervous. His future hanged in the balance on what he was about to talk to Lou about and he still wasn’t confident that things would turn out as he hoped they would. “Why don’t we go into the living room?” Lou asked with some trepidation at the upcoming talk they were about to have. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Jimmy, it was just that loving someone had hurt her so much in the past that she wasn’t sure she could let anyone into her life again like that. When Lou was about to sit in one of the chairs near the fireplace, Jimmy grabbed her arm and asked, “Please, sit here next to me,” and then he led her to the sofa where he could be next to her and not sitting across from her. Taking a deep breath, Jimmy decided to come right out with what was on his mind. “Lou, you know why I’m here, so I won’t beat around the bush. I want to marry you and make you and Ellie my family. I love you both so much. I want you two to be a part of my life and me, part of yours.” He glanced at Lou as she sat quietly next to him, her hands worrying the fabric of her skirt. When she didn’t say anything he tried again. “Lou, I know you were hurt when Kid didn’t come back from the war,” that caught her attention and she looked up at the mention of her dead husband’s name. Seeing that he had her attention, Jimmy continued, “I’ve waited, knowing that you needed time. Not only to heal your heart over the loss, but to prove to yourself that you could take care of Ellie on your own like you said you would. You’ve done just that and I’m so proud of you. You are a strong woman and I want you by my side for the rest of our lives…” He watched as a single tear slide down her cheek unchecked. Gently, he wiped it away with his thumb, lingering for a moment, caressing the curve of her chin. Lou grabbed his hand and held it in hers, resting her head on it as she took a deep breath and let it out with a shudder. “Oh, Jimmy! It’s just that…I’m …I’m afraid.” Jimmy lifted her chin up so that he could look into her face. “Afraid of what?” he asked quietly. Lou started to cry softly as she spoke, “Of loving you, of losing you like I did Kid. I just couldn’t handle another loss like that. And this time I have Ellie to consider…” Wrapping his arm around her crying form, Jimmy pulled her close to him, holding her, his head resting on the top of hers as she cried. “I ain’t Kid, Lou,” Jimmy whispered, “He chose to go fight during the war. I’m not saying that was wrong because it was something he felt he needed to do. I want you to know that if you say yes, I will never willingly leave you and Ellie.” Sitting up so that she could look at him, Lou murmured, “I know you’re not Kid. I’m just so confused Jimmy…I love you and want us to marry too, but I’m afraid of loving you and losing you.” “I know you are sweetheart, but haven’t I proven to you over the last eight years, that I’m here for you? That I’m not going anywhere other than to Buck’s when he needs a helping hand?” Holding his hand in hers, Lou sat taking comfort in his strength. “I know what you are saying makes sense and that my heart is telling me to say, “yes”, but I need a little more time to think. Please?” she asked quietly. “I’ll give you that time Lou. I have to go to Buck’s for a couple of days. I hope when I return you will give me your answer, but before I go, I want to give you one more thing to think about…” With that said, he swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom at the end of the hall, planning on showing her just how much he loved her before he left her to her thoughts. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Two days later, Lou wandered into the sheriff’s office, not exactly sure why she was there, but knowing that she needed to talk to someone. Teaspoon looked up from his desk where he was reading a letter from the U.S. Marshall over in Omaha. “Lou!” he said surprised to see her standing there, looking like she needed a friend. He hurried over to her and led her to a vacant chair near the desk. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” he asked sitting back down in his chair. “I…I don’t really know why I came Teaspoon. Wait, that isn’t true. I guess I need to talk to someone about something important and…and my wanderings brought me to your door.” With a smile, Teaspoon tilted his chair back and declared, “Well, you’ve come to the right place then Lou! I’m always happy to listen and even happier to give you some of my worldly advice!” With a small groan that made both of them laugh, Lou knew she could trust Teaspoon to help her see things for what they were. Though he would never tell you what you should do, he would help make it clearer for you to see what the answer to your situation was. Over the next half-hour, Lou told Teaspoon of Jimmy and his proposal and the reason she was having a hard time telling him what he wanted to hear. “Well, Lou, knowing you both the way I do, I think I can honestly say that over the years, I’ve seen the way you two have grown closer, the bond you have formed, it’s a lasting kind. I know that Jimmy has had feelings for you since you two rode for the Express. They never changed, even when you and Kid got married.” Lou sat listening intently to what her ‘father’ was saying, knowing in her heart that he was right. “I think I can understand what you’re feeling too. I know that it’s hard to open up your heart, especially after it’s been hurt. But you need to remember that Kid didn’t die on purpose. The hoopla about Jimmy being a gunfighter seems to have died down in the past several years. You know he hasn’t been called out since just after he stopped working for me. He’s been staying away from the saloons, not gambling, living right…for you and Ellie. He wants so much for you all to be a family, that he’s hurting inside being apart from both of you.” “You’re right Teaspoon, but…” she started to say when he held up a hand in protest, silencing her. “No buts Lou. That man is the only father figure that little girl of yours has ever known. I’ve seen the way she adores him and hangs on every word he says to her. And I have never heard him have an unkind word for her. It’s not too often you find a man willing to love a child that ain’t his, the way Jimmy does Ellie. He always has time for her.” A smile softened her face at the thought of Ellie with Jimmy. They always were the best of friends, ever since she had been born. Standing up, Lou went to Teaspoon’s side and bent down, giving him a warm hug and a kiss on the top of his head. “Thank you. As always, you have helped me feel better and make a decision that is long over do.” A satisfied smile settled over Teaspoon’s face as he watched her leave his office. “I do believe that there’s gonna be a wedding real soon…” he said to the empty jail with a chuckle. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Late the next afternoon after Ellie was home from school, there was a knock at the door. Telling her daughter to continue cutting out the biscuits for dinner, Lou went to answer it. A huge grin crossed her flour-dusted face when she saw who was at her door. Throwing her arms around him tightly, Lou nearly knocked him off his feet. Covering his face with feathery kisses, Lou cried, “Yes!” Jimmy’s heart stopped for a moment at her, “Yes”. Gathering her tight in his arms he picked her up and held her tight, closing his eyes, sending up a prayer thanking God for answering his request of being a family after all these years. Setting Lou back down on the ground, Jimmy’s hands went up to cradle her face, his eyes searching hers, seeing only love shining in them. He kissed her fiercely and then laughed, “Finally!” Hearing voices laughing, Ellie came into the hall to see what was going on. She found her mother in Uncle Jimmy’s arms, with love shining from both of their faces. Her heart swelled, knowing that something important was happening by their looks. “Ellie! Come here sweetheart,” Jimmy called opening his arms to gather her up in his embrace. Putting an arm around her mother again, he held both of his girls close, not believing what a blessed man he was with them in his life. Giving the child a kiss on the cheek, he said, “Ellie, your Momma has agreed to marry me. I hope that’s okay with you.” Ellie threw her arms around his neck and kissed him and turned to her mother, “Does this mean he can be my daddy?” With tears of happiness in her eyes, Lou nodded, too choked to speak, knowing that everything was going to be all right. That finally, they were going to be complete, they were going to be a family. Drop me a note and let me know what you thought!