“Please, Teaspoon,” Buck’s voice had and edge of desperation to it. “I promise I will be back in a few days. I just need some time…” Teaspoon’s heart went out to the young man. He and Ike had been best friends for years and he was taking his death hard. With a nod of understanding, Teaspoon gave the express rider permission to take a few days off. “Just promise me you will come talk to any of us if things get to be too much for you. We all loved Ike too and we love you.” Buck gave a small smile of thanks and headed for the bunkhouse to gather a few of the belongings he wanted to take with him. “Hey Buck,” Lou said as he came into the bunkhouse. She was sitting at the table reading a book that she had bought on her last run to Blue Creek. When she noticed Buck throwing a few belongings on his bed she asked, “Going somewhere?” Without looking up, Buck tied the items in a kerchief telling her, “Taking a few days off. Tell the other’s I’ll be back in a few days. As Buck turned to go out the door, he noticed the look of concern on the female’s face as she watched him. “Don’t worry, Lou. I’ll be all right. I just need sometime alone…” and then he was gone. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Buck rode half a day until he reached the mesa he had in mind for his retreat. The solitude of being miles from anyone gave him a peace that he couldn’t find in the Kiowa village or with those back in town. He needed time to think, time to grieve for his friend who was never coming back. Setting up a circle of stones, Buck built a fire inside it and sat back. Resting against a stone, his mind began to drift as the flames put him into a self-induced trance. He was back to the first day that he had met Ike McSwain. It was at the orphanage that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. A man had found him wandering in the hills and brought him to that place. It was scary to Buck, who had very little interaction with whites up until that time. He had spent most of his childhood in the Kiowa village but his mother had died and he had been sent away. His brother, who would one day be the leader of the tribe was too young to do anything about his banishment. As a woman in a long, black robe ushered him out into the yard full of children, he was again frightened by all the stares. Many pointed and though he could not understand what they were saying, he did know that they were making fun of him. As the woman left him alone with all of the children, he noticed one boy sitting on a bench along one wall. The others seemed to ignore him. Making his way to the boy’s side, Buck sat down and looked at the boy under his eyelashes. The boy had no hair. He wondered what had happened to it. He had never seen a boy his age without hair. Suddenly the bald boy looked over at him and gave a shy smile. Buck smiled back. That was the beginning of their friendship. Several years later, when the nuns at the orphanage were urging both boys to hire on with a local gentlemen who owned a large ranch, they decided to slip away one night. A life of adventure and the unknown appealed more to them than working for a man such as Mr. Cartwright, who was known to be hard on his hired hands. Neither boy had much money and only a small loaf of bread and some jerked beef that they had snuck from the orphanage kitchen. They had made their way to St. Joe where they read a notice for young orphans, wanted to ride for a new message delivery outfit called the Pony Express. With the Pony Express they had both found a home, a family. Hard to believe that just a little over a year ago, they had both been lost and wandering, without anyone but each other. Now, Buck felt he was lost and wandering, but this time he didn’t have his best friend, his true brother by his side. Tears slid down Buck’s cheeks unchecked as the last vestiges of day turned into night. A lone wolf howled it’s sad song somewhere in the night. Understanding how the wolf must feel, Buck let out a howl of pain and anger of his own. He sobbed like never before until he was spent and fell asleep next to the dying fire. A hawk overhead woke him early the next morning with its screech. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, where he was came back to him like a punch to the stomach. Ike, his death, the loneliness. Buck felt the need to see if he could see his future in a vision, so he spent the day gathering the herbs and other things he needed. Wearing only his britches, he sat before the fire. As the sun was setting, he drank from the concoction in a wooden bowl that would induce the state of conscious needed for him to have a vision should one come to him. After drinking deeply of the liquid, he set the bowl aside and started to hum. Within minutes he felt like he was spinning in circles, unbalanced. He fell to the ground in a semi-conscious state and began to ‘dream’. The vision was coming at him in pieces. Almost as if it were flying at him, snippets of what were to come. He lay in the dark for hours before his eyes fluttered open. His head hurt and was pounding something fierce. A side effect of the liquid he drank. Crawling over to his blanket, he curled into a ball and covered himself with his jacket. Sleep came quickly, but was troubled causing him to toss and turn throughout the night. The sun was high above him when he finally awoke the next morning. A hawk, possible the one he has saw the day before, was sitting in a bush not far from him, watching him as if to see if he were alive or possibly it’s next meal. Buck greeted the hawk, making it shift back and forth upon its branch. “Looks like you will have to find a meal else where today.” The hawk looked at him with a predatory eye and screeched then flew off into the distance to search for other prey. Buck was still saddened by his brother’s death, but returned home with a lighter soul, having seen a future filled with love and family. He urged Warrior to go a little faster as the way station came into sight and he was able to make out his fellow riders and family waving to him in greeting. “Welcome home son,” Teaspoon told him when he stopped by the corral. With a huge smile, Buck replied, “It’s good to be back.” Drop me a note and let me know what you thought!