Disclaimer: Oh boy got lot's that isn't mine. All the characters, McDonald's and Friskies aren't mine, including the phrase "Friskies brings out the Frisky in your cat", Doc Magoos is ER's, Chris Carter is a real person who belongs to himself, Quarter Pounder hamburgers are McDonald's, the song at the end,and I think that's it.

Mark Greene Phone Home

Our story begins in the capital of America, Washington D.C., at FBI headquarters. Down, way down, in the basement of that building, the FBI kept its most strange department, the X-files. Run by "Spooky" Mulder and his brilliant partner Dana Scully, the X-files investigates cases involving paranormal phenomena. Mulder had just gotten his hands on a good one, he thought to himself. He loved Chicago in the winter.

The staff looked up into the brilliant night sky, watching and waiting.

"Where is it?"

"Why isn't it here?"

"I'm freezing my ass off."

"Who's watching the ER?"

Just then, a white light flashed and a big UFO came and hovered above them.

"Wow. It's even cooler than before."

"Looks the same to me."

"No way! It's bigger."

"Whatever. I'm leaving."

THE OFFICE (next day)

"Hey Mulder. What's so interesting?"

Dana said as she sauntered into the office; finding Mulder engrossed in a magazine of some sort.

"This."

He held up the article he had been reading and Scully raised an eyebrow.

"UFOs Seen Over Chicago."

She read skeptically.

"Yup. Ya better hurry up and get ready 'cause our plane leaves in an hour."

Mulder said as he grabbed his coat and waltzed out the door.

COUNTY GENERAL (Cook County, Chicago)

Mulder and Scully walked in surprised to see the waiting area almost empty. "Excuse me," Scully said politely to the bulky man at the admit desk. "We're agents Mulder and Scully from the FBI. Could we please speak to Mark Greene?" Jerry stared at them.

"FBI?"

"Yes."

"Eeeeee! Dr. Greene's in trouble!"

THE LOUNGE (it's for lounging Ha ha!)

Mark, Mulder and Scully sat down.

"We're here to-"

Just then, Carter and Lucy barged in.

"It's not my fault! STOP BLAMING ME!" Lucy cried.

"It is too your fault!"

Lucy turned to Mark. "Dr. Greene," she whined, "He blames me for everything! I didn't kill the guy, honest! He just kinda.turned all rubbery."

"Well, he wouldn't have gotten all rubbery if she had paid attention instead of acting like a dumbo." Carter interrupted.

"Well if I'm a dumbo he's a poophead."

"Mush for brains." Carter threw back.

"Geek!"

"Blondie!"

"Bad teacher!"

"Bad student!"

"Pig!"

"Stupidbutt!"

"I'm rubber and your glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"

"HEY!" Dr. Greene shouted. Carter and Lucy's heads snapped back. "Why don't you go Dr. Weaver? Yeah, go talk to Dr. Weaver. She'll care." He pushed them out the door. "So," Dr. Greene said, returning to business, "What were you saying?" Mulder and Scully exchanged glances. "Are they okay?"

"Oh don't mind them," he said with a wave of his hand, "They're like that all the time. Just continue." Scully raised an eyebrow and looked to Mulder, who just shrugged and began speaking.

"Dr. Greene, have you noticed anything strange happening at the hospital lately?"

"Nothing stranger than the usual." He flashed a nervous smile.

"We've gotten reports of UFO sightings near here. Have you seen anything?"

"Like what?"

"Any odd shaped objects in the sky, flashing lights."

"Nope."

"So you haven't seen the UFO." It was more of a statement than a question.

"What UFO?"

Mulder sighed, getting frustrated. "The one that's appeared-"

"Nope haven't seen any UFO. Never seen a UFO. Nope not around here. Not anywhere I mean. Nope." Mark got a paranoid look in his eyes as he glanced over his shoulder. "Will you excuse me?" He got up and sprinted for the door. Scully looked at Mulder, trying to contain her laughter. "Nope, nothin' weird goin' on around here!" She said with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"I have an idea." Mulder said suddenly.

"What would that be?"

"We spy on him, see what's up."

"Shouldn't we interview more people first?" Mulder thought for a moment.

"Nah."

"Okay! Let's go!"

THE HALLS OF THE HOSPITAL (James bond music playing)

Mulder and Scully followed a few steps behind Dr. Greene. He weaved in and out, going in rooms checking on patients until he ducked into the lounge. They peaked in through a little window and watched. "What's he doing?" Scully whispered. Dr. Greene glanced from side to side and pulled a McDonald's bag from out from underneath his shirt. He stuck his hands hungrily into the bag, pulling out fistful after fistful of cat food and stuffing it in his belly button, where it seemed to disappear. "Look at that, Scully."

"What's going on?"

"He's an alien."

"WHAT?!" The doctor titled his head upward, a puzzled look on his face. Mulder and Scully ducked down.

"In 1996,"Mulder whispered his eyes lit up with merriment; "The consortium came to two big corporations, Friskies and McDonald's, to help them hide an alien spacecraft. With Friskies help, McDonald's was able to build a technology center where aliens and humans came together to plan evil stuff."

"So that's why we always go to Burger King instead." Scully replied a skeptical smile dancing on her lips.

"No, I just like their burgers better." He paused a moment and heard a noise. "Shhh. I think I hear him coming." They spotted a nearby crash cart and decided it was a better hiding spot.

"Lazy."

"Irritating."

"Brat."

"Fathead."

"Monkey butt breath." These were, of course, the voices of Carter and Lucy as they walked into the lounge. Dr. Greene came out as they came in. He had a feeling someone had been watching him and he decided to go check it out. He looked around for a second until some thing distracted him.

"Code blue!"

A nurse came and wheeled the crash cart to his left away, revealing the culprits of his anxieties.

"Uhhh.hi?" The red head said her face beginning to match her hair.

"What are you doing?"

Mulder stood up, brushing the dust off his pants. "Dr. Greene? Could you gather the staff to meet in the lounge? I think we need to talk."

"Sure." Mark's face displayed suspicion and annoyance as he stalked off.

Mulder just stood and smiled, he knew when he was right. It happened quite a lot, no matter what Scully said. And it was happening now.

THE LOUNGE (part 2)

"What's this all about?"

"What's going on?"

"Who's watching the ER?"

The parade behind Mulder, Scully and Dr. Greene yelled comments and complaints as they were led to the lounge. Mulder swung open the door and everyone set his or her faces to shock.

'Now that doesn't make a lick a sense!"

There were Carter and Lucy, groping each other on the couch. They turned to their new audience with obvious embarrassment.

"Uhhh.hi?" Lucy uttered, fixing her hair.

"It's not what you think." Carter said nervously.

Lucy shot him an annoyed look. "What do you think they think?"

"I think, that they think, that we were making out."

"Weren't we?"

"Yeah- I mean no." He looked into the sea of faces. " We. we were just.ummm."

"Great job, Carter." Lucy said sarcastically. "I bet they believe that."

"Well what was I suppose to say?"

"Why can't you just tell the truth?"

"Because."

"HELLO!" A rude person shouted from the crowd." Remember us?"

Mulder decided to take over. "Ever body just shut up and listen!" Everyone turned their attention to Mulder, who cleared his throat and loosened up his tie with a jerk of his hand. "I know you're wondering what all this is about. And, it's about a lot of things." He used the little space he had to walk around the room, glancing from impatient face to impatient face. "It's about me and my partner and how much I lo-"

"Mulder?" Scully interrupted his speech." Remember what we said about getting to the point?"

He sighed and said an obedient "Yes, Scully. Any way, I think Dr. Greene knows more than he's saying." He eyed Dr. Greene suspiciously, who just pretended not to notice. "He knows about them. About how they come to earth as humans, but are really something else. And how peanut butter and jelly glisten in the moonlight."

The whole hospital gave him an uncomprehending look. Mark stepped up and glared at Mulder. "You're not making any sense." He seethed.

"Oh I think I am." Mulder looked around the room, an eerie grin plastered on his slender face. "You," he said slowly, adding suspense as he pointed to Dr. Greene, "Mark Greene, are an alien!" Surprised gasps echoed throughout the room. Scully rolled her eyes. "Oh brother." She murmured.

"Am not!!" Mark yelled.

"You are too!" Fox screamed back.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Okay, you're right, I am." More shocked utterances.

"Well that was easy!" Mulder cried in delight.

"Explain yourself, Mark. If that's your real name." Doug shouted.

Mark sighed. "No, it's not. My real name is u*$7&; ikhn, and I'm from the planet visontelejili. I came to earth with a top secret mission, and once that was done I decided to stick around."

"Huh," Carol said. "You think you know a guy and boom! They're trying to eat your face off or something alienlike."

"We don't eat faces."

"Good to know."

"But," Mark said, getting an eerie grin reminiscent of Mulder's, "We do impregnate human women with our alien babies." All the women leapt for the door. "Sorry Ladies! Locked. Now who will it be.oh this is too hard!" Mark closed his eyes and stuck out his finger. "Eni, meenie, minie.moe!" His finger came to an abrupt halt at Lucy.

"No! Not Her!" Carter cried in protest. "Lucy I love you!"

"Little late now, isn't it?" Mark took Lucy and they disappeared into thin air.

ADMIT AREA (next day)

Jerry, Doug, Carol, Randi and Maggie all sat, happily chatting.

"Can you believe that thing with Dr. Greene?" Jerry said, once again bringing up the most popular topic of the day.

"Oh Jerry, give it a rest. He's an alien, he abducted Lucy, just deal and move on." Carol replied with boredom. The rest of the group all shot her a look of disbelief. "What?"

"Well, aren't we miss laid back?"

"No, I'm just very good at dealing." She smiled. And in came Carter, stamping his feet with an expression as sour as a thousand lemons on his face.

"Hey Carter. How's your day going?"

"Bad. Very bad, extremely bad, THIS DAY SUCKS! NOW EVERYBODY JUST GO AWAY!" Annoyed at Carter's sudden outburst, Doyle got up and did as advised. "He's not."

"Whoa Carter what's your problem!" Carter plopped his elbows on the desk and put on his best puppydog face.

"I miss Lucy." He said sadly.

"If you miss her now you're really gonna miss her when she gets stabbed to death." Randi said, never looking up from her magazine.

"What?" Everyone said in unison.

"Nothing." She replied with a snap of her bubble gum.

Anyway." Just then, Doyle came up behind Carter with an evil look (think Paul Sobreiki) and stuck a needle in his shoulder. He looked confused for a moment, but just said "Nighty night" and collapsed on the floor. Now Maggie was the one getting a look.

"What'd you do that for?" She looked at everyone as if the answer was as clear as day.

"He was nuts so I gave him a sedative."

"He's not nuts! He's just upset about Lucy!"

"Oops."

Weaver came limping down the hall, barking orders as she went. She came to an abrupt stop at Carter, and everyone held their breath. She looked down and inspected him, giving him a few pokes with her cane. "Get him off the floor! Somebody's gonna trip and kill themselves."

CARTER'S DREAM (Hi everybody!)

Carter found himself in a dark place that seemed to go on forever and ever. Just as he began to contemplate his whereabouts, a blonde woman began walking towards him, followed by another, another, and another. As the first got closer, he realized it was someone he knew.

It was Harper Tracy, his ex girlfriend. And behind her was Abbie Keaton, another ex girlfriend, Roxanne Please, His actual girlfriend, and Anna DelAmico, his ex.something. "What are you all doing here?"

"We come with a message." Harper declared. They stared at John, who all of a sudden had a thoughtful and faraway glint in his brown eyes.

"Earth to John!" Roxanne exclaimed.

"Huh?"

"We're trying to tell you something important."

" I was just thinking.you're all blonde."

"Duh!" said Abbie.

"Yeah and another thing.why is Anna here? No offense, but we never dated."

"Your mind, John. You tell us." Carter shrugged. "We have to talk to you about Lucy."

"What about Lucy?" He questioned.

"We feel she should join us in CBGB."

"What's CBGB?"

"Carter's Blonde Girlfriend Brigade." Anna intervened, bringing herself to the front of the bunch. "We think she'd be a perfect addition."

"Roxanne," He said skeptically, "You have no problem with this?" He found that highly doubtful.

"As we said, it's your mind. In real life I'd probably be mad as hell."

"Oh." He said a little frightened. "She's abducted anyway."

"So you have to save her!" Harper explained.

'But I can't."

"Have you tried?"

"Well, no." He said sheepishly.

"There's the problem!"

John thought for a moment. He could be a hero, like all the princes in storybooks who save their ladies from the villains. Lucy wasn't his lady yet, but he was sure if he risked his life a couple times to save her, she'd have to go out with him. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try."

"That's the spirit!" They cried cheerily. One by one, the girlfriends turned their backs and walked away. But Harper came running back. She stopped when she reached him. With an expressionless face, she said simply "Turn yourself around. That's what it's all about." And she scurried away, apparently anxious to catch up to the others.

REAL WORLD (well, not really)

Carter awoke, slightly dazed and confused. After a few seconds, he realized he was in an exam room. After a little longer, he remembered his dream. What a dream! His ex girls telling him to find Lucy. It doesn't get much weirder than that. Well actually, it does, he thought, because in real life Dr. Greene was an alien who abducted Lucy. Not for long, he was gonna find her. Carter took a few unsteady steps out of bed, and headed down the hall. "Hey Jerry," he said, "You know where those FBI agents went?"

"Uhhh.I think they went to Doc's."

"Thanks."

"Carter!" Jerry cried. "Hey! Aren't you still on?" But Carter was gone, heading for the diner across the street.

DOC MAGOO's (the diner across the street)

John walked into Doc's taking a quick look around. He spotted the agents fairly quick; they were sitting in a booth near the entrance. It didn't take long for him to notice that something weird was going on. "You're getting sleepy, very sleepy."

"Mulder, what are you-" Carter watched as the female agent's head lolled to one side. He tried butting in.

"Excuse me Agent-"

"Now, at the snap of my fingers, you will awake and be a chicken!" Mulder snapped his fingers and Scully awoke with a jolt. Soon after which, she began clucking. "Hey!" Mulder cried in excitement, "It worked! Frohike owes me ten bucks." Scully then proceeded to get on the table, flap her arms and peck. Mulder just then became aware of Carter's presence. "You're that Dr. Carter guy." He stated.

"Yes. Agent Mulder, have you made any progress in your search for Lucy?"

"Who? Ohh yeah. Nope. Been busy."

"Doing what?" Carter scoffed.

"Reading up on hypnotism." Mulder said simply. Scully squatted and tried to lay an egg.

"Bwack! Bwack bwack bwack!" she cried.

"I can see that." He sat down across from Mulder, Scully obstructing his view. "I need to find Lucy." He stated firmly.

"Why?"

"I'm in love with her." He said dreamily. From what Carter could see Mulder was giving him a strange look.

"Weren't you the two calling each other and I quote 'poophead' and 'dumbo'?"

Carter squirmed in his seat. "It's complicated."

"I see."

"Since you're the UFO expert I thought you could help me."

Mulder scratched his chin, searching his mind for an answer. "Yes. I believe I can." He leaned in closer to Carter and whispered softly. "You wanna find her? Go to McDonald's. You say one thing. You say 'Friskies brings out the frisky in your cat'. They'll take care of the rest."

"Thank you!" Carter cried appreciatively as he headed for the door.

""Yep. No problem." He looked down at Scully, who pecked the air and clucked happily. "C'mon Scully, let's go."

MCDONALD'S (we love to see you smile)

The worker wiped the tired, frustrated expression off her face and replaced with a big smile. "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order?" She said cheerily. The man in front of her looked around awkwardly. She took that moment to give him the once over. Brown hair, brown eyes, a lab coat, obviously a doctor. He looked down at his hands and uttered, "Friskies brings out the Friskies in your cat." She held back a gasp. How did he know? "I have to go get the manager. I'll be right back." Quickly, she thought. Gotta tell him. He'll know what to do. Around the fry oven, past the quarter pounders. "Sir?" An older man in a nice suit turned to her.

"Yes?"

"We have a situation." She took him back to the counter and ordered the man to repeat himself.

"Friskies brings out the Friskies in your cat." The older man stared at him with an icy gaze.

"Come with me." He said. The older man took the younger man out the door into the Play Place. "Climb in that magenta tube," he ordered, "There should be a piece of plastic sticking out. Pull on it. You should see buttons with the numbers 1-9 on them and a place to swipe a key card. Swipe this card and punch in the numbers 1010323. The bottom should open up. Crawl down inside."

"Thanks." The young man said.

"No need to thank me." The older man said as he walked back into McDonald's. He was greeted by the worker.

"Sir? How do we know he's for real?"

"We don't," He said coolly, "And that's why he won't make it out alive." He watched as the worker's eyes grew wide. The older man just lit up another cigarette and strode away.

THE MAGENTA TUNNEL

Carter sat in the bright pink tube, his arms and legs cramped in the small space. He saw the piece of plastic right away, and reached to pull it, but stopped himself. <What am I getting into? > He thought. <Is it worth it? What did Harper mean when she said what she said? Dang what did she say? It was really kind of weird.oh well. And who was that cigarette smoking man? Why do I suddenly feel so very lightheaded? What did I have for breakfast today? Wait a second.> The last thing Carter remembered was that old smoking fellow laughing at him with a gas mask on, and another person coming up behind that person and whacking him with a lead pipe.

CARTER'S DREAM #2 (slight Carter Lucy mush alert)

Carter found himself in a familiar place; darkness surrounded him just as it had in the other dream. He saw, as before, a blonde woman on the horizon. "Not again!" He cried in exasperation, one dream with all his girlfriends was enough. But as the woman got closer, he realized that this blonde was different. "Lucy!" He closed the distance between them with his lengthy stride and wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. She smiled.

"Hello John." She said as she tucked a piece of long blonde hair behind her hair.

"You have something to tell me. Like the others." He made an educated guess.

"Yes." She replied as her crisp blue eyes locked with his warm brown ones. "But it's simple.keep looking. You will find me, Carter. I trust you." Her conviction only scared him, and the doubts began to rise.

"I don't know if I can do it, Luce. I-"

"You need to have faith in yourself. I have faith in you." She leaned in close to him and placed a light kiss on his lips. "I have faith in you." She repeated. Then, with calm, steady steps, she turned and walked away.

"Lucy!" he yelled, fear that he would never see her again took over, and he tried to run after, but couldn't. He just stood, helpless. "Comeback! Don't leave me, Luce! Lucy!"

REAL WORLD (well, not really the real world, the fake real world. Actually, the fake fake real world cause-)

"Lucy!" Carter awoke with a jolt, banging his head on the ceiling. "Oww!"

He said, rubbing it gingerly. When he recovered from the dream, and the head bang, he realized he was face to face with a man. "Who are you? What happened?" John said, still slightly drowsy.

"You cannot know my name." The stranger replied mysteriously. John's good observation skills picked up something.

"Is it Alex Krycek?"

"Damn! How'd you know?"

"It says so on your nametag." Alex looked down at the pesky piece of paper and ripped it off, wondering how long it had been there. Carter took this opportunity to look around, and saw the old smoking fellow passed out behind Alex.

"What happened to him?"

"I whacked him on the head with a lead pipe. We gotta go. He's gonna be really mad when he wakes up." Carter squeezed by Alex and checked the old man's pulse.

"He's not going to wake up. He's dead."

"Ha! That's a good one. Cigarette Smoking Man dead! You're funny." Krycek took this minute to laugh at Carter's naïve assumption. "I wish he was dead." He muttered. John looked up in shock. "What? A lot of people do. He's a very evil man."

"He was helping me."

"That's what you think. He was going to kill you." Carter's face registered shock once more. "You don't know how serious this is, kid. You're in way too deep now."

"All I want to do is find Lucy." He said with a steady gaze.

"Well, swipe that key card and let's get going!"

"You're coming too?"

"Yes, of cou-" Just then, Krycek's beeper went off. He checked it and sighed in exasperation. "Damn that Chris Carter! He doesn't use me enough, and when he does it's-"

"Uhh, I don't mean to interrupt, but I want to get this show on the road, so to speak."

"You're on your own, kid. I gotta go."

"Hey wait!" But Alex was already crawling away. Carter heard a Weeeee! As Krycek slid down the slide, and that was the last time he heard from him. <Okay, John. You can do this. > He yanked hard on the piece of plastic, slipped the key card, and punched in the code. He waited a few agonizing seconds and then a trap door at the bottom of the tube popped open. "Hold on, Lucy. I'm almost there."

MEANWHILE, BACK AT COUNTY.(He's almost there, Luce! Yeah!!)

"What have we got?" Dr. Weaver said, rushing into the trauma room.

""Fifty eight year old male, classic heart attack symptoms. Sudden onset, substernal chest pain radiating down left arm with diaphoresis."

"Okay everyone," Kerry yelled to get their attention. "Before we start-"

"He's in v-tach!" Haleh cried in alarm.

"How rude of you! I was talking. I would like you all to meet Laura."

"We need to shock him!"

"Everyone say hi." The nurses paused for a second and searched the room.

"Where is she?"

"She's right here." Kerry calmly pointed to the thin air beside her.

"Kerry, there's no one there."

"Oh forget this!" Carol shouted as she grabbed the paddles. "Charge to three hundred! Clear!"

"Sinus rhythm." Haleh said, relieved.

"You are all so rude! Laura and I are leaving." And Dr. Weaver stalked out of the trauma room.

"Somebody get psych down here! Now!"

MARK'S GROOVY LOVE SHIP

Lucy looked around once again, shaking her head in disbelief. Dr. Greene had just left her here and taken off. She was trapped in some kind of alien force field; one move and she was extra crispy. Not to mention the ship's décor, which made her want to barf. The walls were tie dyed in the brightest colors, with peace signs covering the ceiling. The only pieces of furniture were beanbag chairs, and in the center of the circular room was a giant lava lamp that reached from floor to ceiling. The smiley face door burst open, interrupting her thoughts.

"It's time, Lucy." Mark said, a devilish grin on his face.

"HELP! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! JUST HELP ME!" Lucy cried. Mark stepped around the lava lamp looking eerie in its glow.

"In space, no one can hear you scream."

"Well we're not in space, we're in a spaceship parked under McDonald's."

"Same difference."

"Actually, no, it's not the same. And why do people say that anyway? It makes no sense. Really, if you think about it-" Just before Lucy could finish her sentence, the peace sign clad roof above their heads collapsed and when the dust cleared there was Carter, water gun in hand. "Carter!" Lucy cried in delight.

"Lucy! I.I've come to save you." He said as he brushed himself off.

"Not so fast." Mark stated deviously. "Alien dudes, seize him." Carter squirted the gun at Mark with no affect.

"Uh oh." Alien after alien came out of the smiley face door and surrounded him.

"Carter do something!" Just then a picture of Harper flashed in his mind. 'Turn yourself around'. "John please!" Lucy begged. 'that's what it's all about'. Carter went into a daze as the aliens closed in. 'turn yourself around' Harper's voice whispered. 'Turn yourself around' Harper's voice whispered. 'That's what it's all about' Carter just froze. 'John hello!' Harper's voice turned harsh. 'Just do the hokey pokey, you idiot! My God, can't you take a hint?' Her blunt words snapped him out of his daze, and the words slowly and awkwardly tumbled from his mouth.

"You.you put your rrright foot in. You pput your right foot outt and ya sshake it all about." The aliens stopped and doubled over in pain, including Mark. Carter grew more confident, and his voice got louder. "You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all," Five aliens melted into a puddle on the floor. "That's what it's all," Five more liquefied. "That's what it's all about." And finally, Mark began to melt.

"I'm melting, melting, melting!" And then the only thing remaining of Mark Greene, a.k.a u*$7&; ikhn, was a puddle on the floor.

Carter, how did you know to do the-"

"Don't ask." He said shortly as he walked towards her.

"Wait!" Lucy cried in alarm, "There's a force field around me. Don't come to close or you'll be roasted. I think there's some kind of lock that undoes it." Carter walked across the room to search the puddle formally known as Dr. Greene. "How did you find me?"

"Long story." Carter replied as he snatched the set of keys from the goop. He proceeded over to the keyhole near Lucy's foot. With one swift move the force field was lifted, and Lucy wrapped her arms around Carter.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear.

"C'mon, Luce. Let's get out of here."

NEXT DAY AT DOC MAGOOS (Carter and Lucy are having lunch)

"So then I took that wrinkly old cigarette smoking fellow and punched him right in the face!"

"Really?" Carter looked down at his food.

"No."

"Oh." Lucy nibbled on a fry. "So, what made you decide to come looking for me in the first place?"

"It was a dream."

"A dream?" She said with increasing curiosity.

"Yes." Carter said then hesitated. "Well, yes and no." He corrected shyly.

"What do you mean, yes and no?"

"Well, umm.you see Lucy, I umm.I kind of .I'm kinda.well." Shocking Carter, Lucy reached over the table and kissed him passionately. They stopped and looked into each other's eyes. "Exactly." He murmured as she leaned in to kiss him again.

All of the sudden, the whole hospital appeared along with a few other guests: Alex Krycek, Mulder, Scully, Chris Carter, an alien and the Cigarette Smoking Man. They all joined hands, surrounding Carter and Lucy and they began to sing. "Everybody loves somebody sometime. Everybody falls in love somehow."

And so, our story ends. The brave John Carter saved his Lady Love, Lucy Knight, from the evil clutches of Mark Greene and his alien followers. Lucy, despite Randi's warning to the contrary, lived to become a doctor and her and John married. Fox Mulder lifted the spell he put on Scully and she no longer believes she's a chicken. Mulder is now focusing his hypnotic talents on love spells. The Old Smoking Fellow is still alive and still smoking, despite numerous attempts at his life. Alex Krycek, in his opinion, still isn't used enough by Chris Carter, but when he is, according to him "It's all good." Keri Weaver got the mental help she needed and returned to work with no further incidents. Carol gave birth to her and Doug's twins in November later that year, and they also married. Oh, and everyone else lived happily ever after too.

THE END