Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘um, don’t sue me.

Putting the Pieces Back Together

Carter’s Jeep pulled up in front of his grandparent’s vast mansion. He got up out of the car and walked numbly into the house. “John,” Gamma called out. He ignored her and continued on up the stairs and into his room. Upon walking into the room he noticed an envelope on the bed. He calmly shut the door and sat down on his bed. Opening up the envelope he discovered an invitation that read:

Come to the Wedding of Doug Ross and Carol Hathaway:

December 3, 2000

Hunt Club of Seattle

Seattle, Washington

Making sure the door was locked he allowed him self to let go. He began to sob into the pillow. He sobbed for himself, he sobbed for the girl he had tried so hard to save today that had been shot by the gang member,and he sobbed for Lucy. Every time his life began to fit into place everything was ruined. First Bobby had died of Leukemia, then Dennis Gant had committed suicide, Chase had overdosed, Anna left, Carol Left, Lucy died.

His mind flooded with images of his young blond medical student lying white as a sheet in pool of her own scarlet red blood. She had been his most promising student ever, though he’d never told her that. Never told her how much he admired her strength, her courage, her way with patients. John doubted he would have gotten over Anna Del Amico so fast if it hadn’t been for Lucy. She was kind and caring and beautiful. As much as he had denied it, the short fling they'd had in exam 6 had meant something to him. It was not just a crush, but real true love. She would never know. She was dead, and it was all his fault. He continued to sob quietly into his pillow. John had lost the will to live, the one thing that had kept him going for so long was gone. She was dead.

He stood up moments later and walked over to his dresser. There were assorted pictures of him and other colleagues from County. He smiled thinking back at some of these events. A picture of him, Carol, and Susan dancing that day he had dedicated a song on the radio to Susan. Pictures from various ER banquets, and his all time favorite, a picture of him and Lucy at a Christmas party. A tear dripped down his cheek, though the faint smile still played at the corners of his mouth. He took the picture off the dresser and continued to stare at it remembering the carefree evening it had been taken.

~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter walked into the ER to start his shift. After emerging from the lounge he walked to the admin. Desk to get a patient. “Hey Carter,” called Jerry. He handed him a white sheet of paper,“ this is for you.” Carter looked at the paper and found that it was an invitation to a Christmas party at Doug and Carol’s house for that night. “I’ll see you tonight” called Jerry as Carter walked off towards Curtain 2 where his patient waited. He decided to go to party after much cajoling by the staff. As he walked outof the ER at the end of the shift he heard Chuny whisper to Jerry that Lucy would be there. His heart leapt with joy. Lucy would be there. As not to look suspicious he continued walking, his facial expression blank, pretending not to have heard. As the mechanical doors shut with a thud, he heard the two laughing.

-TIME LAPSE-

Carter walked into up the porch and knocked at the door. He heard music coming from inside the home. As the door opened, Carol appeared, laughing merrily. She ushered him in. Looking around he saw much of the staff present, some were dancing in the center of the living room to music, others sat around talking. He noticed Lucy sitting in the corner appearing out of place and lonely. Grinning to himself he walked over to her and sat down.

“Hey Luce.”

“Hey, did you just get here.” He nodded. “Want something to drink?”

“Sure” He stood up and walked to the refreshment table. They spent the remainder of the party chatting amiably. Sometime that evening Carol had walked over and taken a picture of the two, “for her Christmas 1998 album,” she had claimed. Later Lucy came back to his house and they’d stayed up all night talking like best friends. A friendship had grown that night, and while they’d bickered at work almost constantly, there had always been an understanding between them. She’d given him the picture in a beautiful frame on Christmas Day 1999.

~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~

He kissed the picture and set it down on the bed. Suddenly he noticed a small white corner protruding from the corner of the frame. Carefully he detached the backing and a small piece of stationary fell out. He unfolded the piece and found a letter beginning Dear John. He recognized it as Lucy’s neat handwriting, not what she used on patient charts, but her special writing reserved for important things. Carter began to read.

Dear John,

Well, I’m not sure how to start. When I first came to County you were honestly a jerk, always looking down on me, not wanting to have much to with me. After we searched together that night for little Corrina’s father, we came to a better understanding and you seemed to warm up to me. That night of the Christmas party was the turning point in our relationship. That day I saw you as a person, a friend, my friend, and not only my teacher. That day, Carter I fell in love. We confessed our secrets to each other and I truly believed you were my new best friend. You see, until then I never really fit in at County, I was just the dumb little med. student who everybody felt sorry for because she kept screwing up. That night I gained a friend. When I came back to work after my holiday break I knew it could never become something romantic. However I hoped you would remain my friend. That you did, Carter, we may not have always seen eye to eye on things, but you remained my friend. After that thing in exam 6, I could feel there was chemistry, but you felt otherwise, I’m so sorry I was never able to admit it to your face, but it was there. I felt that you had to know, I love you John Carter, I will always think of you as my best friend.

Be well my Love.

Yours Truly,

Lucy Anne Knight

“Lucy!” his heart screamed out. “I love you too, come back, we can live our lives together.” How could he have not seen this before he scolded himself. Tears ran freely down his cheeks. He could have started a life with her, the stabbing may never have happened. At the very least she would have died knowing his feelings. Then a thought hit him. It seemed he had noticed the letter till now because it was a sign from Lucy to him from Heaven that she would watch over him, and when his time came she would be waiting. A sudden peace came over him as clutched the letter with shaking hands, bringing it close to his heart. “I love you too Lucy, always, I’ll never forget you.

He stood up from the bed and reached for the phone. Slowly he would put his life back together. He promised himself never to waste anymore time felling sorry for himself. He slowly dialed a number. “Yeah hi, I need the number for Doug Ross…yeah…Seattle…that’s it…thanks. ” He paused as the computer read him the number. He hung up the phone and dialed the number. “Hi Carol, its Carter, how are you. Is it too late to say yes?”

~end~