DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine. I am making no money from them in no way. They belong to NBC, Warner Brothers, Constant C., Micheal Crichten ect. ARCHIVES: Sure! Just e-mail me first, telling were it's at.
A Time for Redirection
Part 1
It had been a long week... An exhausting week... A week that ravished the strong. Dealing with the memories of Valentine's day night was overexerting for Dr. Carter, who was forced to deal with these recurring thoughts over and over again in his mind.
It was like a never ending circle of the same penetrating concept, refusing to exit the pained body of it's victim. Not only did this youthful doctor have to deal with his thoughts, he also had to face his colleague and mentor, Peter Benton. Everyday, Peter would come visit, sometimes along with a friend, like Deb or Mark, but more commonly alone. Dr. Benton would sit on the near by chair and describe Lucy Knight's condition or interesting procedures he had recently preformed. Mostly just conversation to get John's attention or distract him of his dismantling thoughts. But it was to hard to forget. To forget the expression on his former medical students face would be a dream, yet, also a cause for worry. It had only been seven days.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was a beautiful February morning on the streets of Chicago Illinois. The sun was shinning brightly and the ground was covered in deep clouds of snow. There were joyful children running around with toboggans, laughing, having snow ball fights. Unfortunately, this happiness ceased to reach the interior of Cook County General Hospital. Inside this building of healing, life and death, sat two residents, in a recovery room in the back of the hospital. There was Dr. Benton, who sat in a maroon cushioned chair at the back of the room which he had grown accustomed to in the past week. The other doctor, and patient, Dr. John Carter is sitting in a wheel chair close to the window located at the front of his room.
The two men break out into conversation. The same conversation they have had for six days running. Dr. Benton starts off in the exact same spot he had left off earlier in the day, right before he was called down for a trauma in the ER, "Come on man, it's been a week. You have 'ta see her some time. She's been asking about you... Did I tell you that."
"Only every other minute." John Carter responds not moving his eyes from the scenery below his window were he wished he could be at this moment. He just kept on thinking the same thing over and over again in his mind 'If only...If only he had payed more attention to Lucy.' Before getting deep into thought, Peter interrupts his interlude.
"What about when you go back to work. Are you going to avoid her then to?"
Raising his eyes from the street outside his window to stare at his friend a few feet away in his blue scrubs, Dr. carter retorts, "Well, I'll deal with that when the time comes. I have larger problems right now."
"So this is just another problem in your busy days?"
In a defensive voice, Carter reacts to Benton's pushing of guilt towards him of refusing to visit his wounded medical student. "You know what I mean."
There is a moment of silence before the conversation carries on. "They took the crych out yesterday... I can take you to her room. She wants to be there for you. I think you want to be there for her."
"Yeah? Did she tell you this?" Peter does not respond, "See. If you are just going to make up a load of crap, how do I know that this is how she feels? Have you even talked to her about it?"
"Actually, I talked to her yesterday. She did not say specifically that she wanted to be there for you but it was obvious that she was worried. She kept on asking about how you are, when you were gonna visit, how you were taking the news... Does she always talk so much?" commented Peter about Lucy Knight, the additional victim of the brutal stabbing on Valentine's.
"Uh, I think so. Although she gave me a headache by the end of each shift, she was a still a really good student...she wanted to learn... Why do all the tragic things happen to the good people?"
"I don't know." whispered the male surgeon from the opposite side of the room. "If you care so much, why are you so afraid to go see her?" he asks, back to his normal toned voice.
John Carter takes a minute to think over the question before acknowledging his colleague. "I'm not afraid. I mean, I'm worried, but not afraid."
"Worried? About what?"
"About her hating me for this." Carter draws himself to staring back out the window.
"You are never going to know if you just ignore it, like it never happened for the rest of your career. Whether Lucy comes to see you or you go to see her, the topic will come up. If you talk about it later, it will hurt less, but you won't need it as much. You need her now, she is here and willing to talk about it. The question is, are you ready to talk about?" Peter Benton checks his watch and stands up. "Okay man, i gotta go back to work. I have an appendectomy scheduled in fifteen minutes. Think about what I said and consider going to see her. Deal?"
"Sure." Carter states quietly and unenthusiastically, glancing up for a minute to spot Peter wave good bye and leave. He knew that he was going to have to visit her sometime and that what Peter said was true, the topic was impossible to walk around. He did need to talk to someone. He did need to talk to her.
With out taking anymore time to think, he wheeled himself out of his recovery room and down the hall towards Lucy Knight's room. John did not enter immediately. For a minute he just stared in, watching her, expecting her to notice him. But she didn't. She layed there, almost motionless. Ms. Knight looked sad for her eyes were puffy from crying and there were black circles around them from exhaustion. Her hair was pulled back into a slightly messy ponytail and you could tell she was bored. Before he could change his mind, he opened the door to her ward and let himself in.
Just being in her presence made him happier.
~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't take long for Lucy to notice someone approaching her bed side. She thought she knew who it was since she had gotten used to her daily routine. Around four o' clock, her mother dropped by with flowers, or a card she thought was cute she saw in the gift shop. She knew it probrely wasn't her mother since it was barely noon. Three times a day, one nurse, Heidi, came in to change her intravenous fluid and give her the acquired pain medication. Phyllis, another nurse would come twice a day to check her psychiatric state along with her reaction physically to the stitches in her chest cavity.
She figured it was the first nurse Heidi since her IV was running dry.
"Well, look at you! Almost looking as beautiful as you did a week ago!" spoke a male voice which disqualified both nurses and her mother as her entering acquaintance. It only took her a second longer to identify the sexy, masculine voice.
"Carter?" Lucy screams, setting the bed to a sitting position with the remote and reaching out to touch his hand. She was unable to move dramatically because of her tracheotomy and how drugged up they had her.
"Long time no see Luce. How are you feeling?" John Carter asks accepting her offered hand she had snuck out from under the rail.
"Like hell, you?"
"Dido." Carter responds quietly and unemotionally, avoiding eye contact. "So what have you been up to lately?"
"Stupid question... John" At this moment he stares into her eyes and smiles, for happiness hit him. For the first time in a long time, she referred to him as John, something only his long time friend, Deb called him. Whenever someone wanted something, they called him 'Carter' or 'Dr. Carter'. It meant a lot that someone, especially her, acknowledged his given name.
Lucy asks in a husky voice, caused by the crych, trying to add a bit of humour into their conversation, "So, when are they kicking you out of this joint?"
"Another five or six days, and you?"
"Probrely, like a month." tears start rolling from Lucy's eyes and John wipes them away with his thumb. "I mean, look at me. I'm a mess."
"You aren't a mess. I think that you are as pretty as hell."
"You're just saying that to make me feel better." Exclaimed Ms. Knight, happier, but not fully recovered.
Before John could respond to Lucy's put down of herself, a familiar nurse entered the room in dark green scrubs
"Excuse me for interrupting. Dr. Carter, your physical therapist is waiting for you at the desk."
"Thank you Kit."
"Sure." Kit responds with the wave of a hand behind her as she exits the room.
"I gotta go." John whispers sadly, releasing his grasp on her hand, placing it back by her side atop of the gurney. "Get some sleep."
"Will you come back later... Please?"
"I will." with this John Carter rolls himself out of the room, down the corridor and toward the recovery admit desk in his wheel chair where he meets up with the middle aged doctor who is to help John recover physically. Dr. Lee had been a resident at County for many years. More years then John himself, although Patrick Lee worked in the Physical Therapy ward, not the ED or OR. Dr. John Carter did not know many people from else where in the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~
After Carter left Lucy Knight's room, silence and solitary fell over her. She was alone again, with no one to talk to. At least for now. Lucy flipped through the channels but there was nothing on but day time television, a.k.a., soap operas. "Well Gee," the lonely, bed ridden medical student thought aloud to herself, "This definitely gives me choice. Lets see, we have 'Days of Our Lives', 'All My Children', 'As the World Turns', 'Passions' and 'General Hospital'."
"Hey, I used to watch allot of those shows." came the voice of Barbera Knight, now at the side of her daughters gurney.
"Hi mom! What are you doing here so early? I thought you had some business thing this morning."
"Well, I did. But he cancelled on me. Throws a spaz when I cancel once and then he goes and cancels THREE times. The way some people run a law firm is uncomprehensible. Anyhow, what's new?" Barbera lightly elbows her daughters right arm with a huge smirk on her face.
"What?"
"The nurse outside said that there was a very hansom doctor stop by to visit you this afternoon. She said that he stayed and talked for a while."
"Dr. Carter is the other victim mom. That is what we where talking about."
"Dr. Carter? He's the one that you talk about all the time, right? He's the tall attractive resident with the nice eyes?"
"How did you...?"
"If you don't want your mom to know about this area of your personnel life then don't call me when your intoxicated."
"I did not..."
"Oh, you must be exhausted, it's been a long day." Lucy tries to speak between her mothers sentences, to defend herself against Mrs. Knights interrogations with no success. "I am gonna go down to the cafeteria, get a mocha, something to eat and maybe read the paper." Barbera looks at her watch, realising she had been talking with her daughter for barely ten minutes but Lucy looked so tired. "I'll be back up in a bit."
"Mom?" her mother looks back from the threshold of Lucy Knight's recovery room door. "This is a hospital. There will not be mocha in the cafeteria. There will be mystery meat, but that is the most elegant, close to edible thing you will find down there."
"No mocha? Oh well, I can get coffee or something. See you dear."
"See you mom."
~~~~~~~~~~
After spending an hour and a half doing leg and back exercising, working to build back his muscles again, John Carter was handed the walker and permitted to try and make it back to his room without the wheelchair. This was the third time Dr. Lee had let him use the walker and John was still getting used to it. Half way down the hall to his room, he came across a women between the age of 40 and 50. She did not look extremely young or old. This women also had long blonde hair, the same color as Lucy's. About the same height also.
Tilting her head to the side, the women asked, "Dr. Carter? Are you Dr. Carter?"
Standing in the hallway with all of his weight on the walker was not the most comfortable position but John Carter ignored the pain in his back and answered the women, nodding.
"I'm Barbera Knight, Lucy Knight's mother. I was wandering if we could talk?"
"Sure. Do you want to go and get a coffee from the cafeteria?"
"No thank you. I was just down there."
Dr. Lee, seeing the look of discomfort in John's face, gets his wheelchair and John accepts it gratefully. Pointing out a bench on the wall a few feet away, Barbera sits down and Carter fallows.
"Well, I have wanted to meat you for a while now. I'm sorry it is under these circumstances." John just nods, "Almost every Friday night, when Lucy called, she would say something about you." this comment gets him to look up, a little shocked that she talked about him so much, "I'd say that you were her favourite teacher. She always says how, with you she gets to be a doctor and it is more hands on then the other students. She says lots of good things about you."
"Lucy is a good student, wiling to learn a lot. Even though she has had some ups and downs, she is generally doesn't let it get in her way."
Barbera's beeper goes, "Oh, I gotta go! I'm sorry Dr. Carter. First I steal you away from what you were doing, and now I'm just dumping you here in the hallway. Can you please tell Lucy I wont be by later today but I will se her tomorrow?"
"Sure."
"Thank you!" Mrs. Knight screams down the hallway as she jogs to the elevators.
~~~~~~~~~~ 2 days later
"...and then Malik says 'but that is Mr. Pawlyk." cries Carter, bursting out laughing.
"Whoever would of thought, Mallucci hitting on a cross dresser. I would kill to see that." gets out Lucy from under her bright red face from laughing.
"Apparently, everyone was busy laughing except Kerry Weaver who found it appropriate to remind him he wasn't aloud to date patients."
After recovering from her fit of laughter, Lucy thinks up a slightly related idea, "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"What is the biggest rule you have broken at County?"
"Is your mom coming by today?"
"John?"
"I'm hungry, maybe I'll ask the nurse to bring me an early supper."
"John, you said I could ask you a question, now you have to answer it."
"Fine, what was the question again?"
"What is the biggest rule you have broken a County?"
"Uh...Lets see. I was a surgical intern and I kinda slept with my boss."
"What? That's it? That is the biggest rule you have broken?"
No longer embarrassed about it, but more ready to show off, John extends his story. "That is only the beginning. She wasn't exactly my boss, she was more my bosses boss. And we got caught. By Benton."
"Really? Is that why you broke it off?"
"No. We broke it off because she was going to Pakistan."
"Pakistan?"
"Yeah."
"God, that's far away. You must of been pretty bad in..." Before she can finish her sentence John throws a pillow at her and the two start laughing. "Isn't there a county rule about throwing things at patients?"
"Not if it's thrown by a patient."
"Well still, I think that I'm gonna have to report you. NURSE! Oh NURSE!" Screams Lucy jokingly in a crackled voice.
"Oh come on, what are you going to tell her, you can't defend your self against a pillow. Smart one Luce. That's the way to convince them that you are ready to start walking again."
"They already cleared me to start Physical therapy tonight."
"Really? And when were you going to tell me. I mean I come by everyday and visit with you when I could be in my room..."
"Doing nothing." Lucy finishes for him.
"Actually, I was going to say watching TV."
She laughs at him, "John, the only thing on during the day are those stupid soaps." Lucy imitates the television in many different korny voices, " 'Oh please don't die', 'Well look he's dead', 'no, he is actually alive again', 'no, I'm his evil twin brother and your my sister'. I can just picture you sitting there with your box of tissues talking to the characters, crying out to them."
"And what did you do for a week before I was here 24/7?"
"I counted ceiling tiles."
"Ceiling tiles? You chose that over infomercials. You don't know what you are missing! Did you know that clothes are fifty cents cheaper on the shopping channel?"
Trying to look disgusted, "You really do have no life."
"I so have a life." Just as Dr. Carter says this, the alarm on his watch goes off, sending loud, continuous beeps through out the room. "See, that is my watch telling me I have somewhere to be and it is telling you I have a life."
"No, that is your watch telling you to go back to your room for supper."
"Do you want some company after you get back from PT."
"No thanks. My mom will be stopping by later, but I'll be thinking of you."
"Yeah, whatever, I'll think of you to."
"I'd pretend to be hurt, but I really don't feel like it right now, so you could just go."
Laughing, Carter leaves the room, "See you tomorrow."
"You to"
~~~~~~~~~~ 2 days later
Looking out the window to see the snow falling lightly on to the cars and pedestrians below was a beautiful scene to see for Dr. John Carter. Seeing it today means more then it did yesterday or the day before that for today,he will get to touch it. John will get the chance to walk outside on his own two feet (plus crutches but who's counting) and feel the frozen rain tap against his covered shoulders. No IV, no wheel chair and no nurse. Carter will get to go home to his apartment and eat real food, not something the cafeteria staff considers edible when they're afraid to eat it themselves.
There is only one reason not to jump for joy. Lucy won't be there. She won't even be discharged for another week or two. But before John goes, he has to visit her one more time. Leaving his bags by the door of the assigned recovery room, he stops at the desk to sign the discharge forms. 'God, they could write a book with all of these forms. How many forms do they need.' he thought to himself. It was different now that he was a the patient instead of the doctor.
Walking down the corridor to his medical students room was only a few mere meters although it seemed like the longest stride he'd ever walked. When he reached the room Dr. Carter didn't even stop at the window to look in at her like he quiet often did, instead he just walked right in.
~~~~~~~~~~
Hearing someone enter her room, Lucy Knight knew immediately who it was, for this person did not knock and had a heavy pace along with his accompanied crutches.
Looking up from her magazine, she greeted her colleague. "Hey John. Looking pretty spiffy." It was hard not to notice his fresh attire since all he had worn for the past week and a half was a hospital gown and sweats. Now, he was dressed smart like usual except today it had a little bit more edge, with his light khaki pants and blue jean shirt, opened up to expose his white t- shirt underneath. In Lucy's eyes, John looked like million bucks, although he still had to drag around his crutches.
"Well, after you wear the same thing for over a week, you have the tendency to overdress a little. I'm very sure you will do the same thing when they let ya outta here."
John Carter said cheerfully and enthusiastically.
"IF I get out of here." as Lucy said this phrase like she had so many times before, she started whimpering and then crying.
Touching her arm, trying to comfort her, John responded, "I don't know where that came from because they have to let you out sometime. Two reasons you will not be here forever- County can't afford it and if they keep someone as beautiful, intelligent and full of nirvana and elation locked up, it will drive all of the single guys out there crazy."
Wiping away her tears, Ms. Knight laughs under her once frown, now grin with pleasure of being around someone that could cheer up this young lady whenever she was depressed. It was because he knew how she felt. He understood her.
"I gotta go. It's getting late and visiting hours are almost over." Patting her on the leg, Carter stand up to leave.
"Thank you for dropping by before you left."
"Take care of yourself Luce. I'll see you soon. I might even come visit you before you're discharged." now standing under the threshold, John stops. "Lucy? You fought hard on this one... You fought the good fight!" without another word, he leaves the room of Lucy Knight.
To sound of those words, that phrase, Lucy touches ground. For the first time since the attack, she felt great. Her face lit up with a spontaneous smile and tears of joy melted down her face.
