DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters except for Ally Carter John Carter's sister. And Angela Greens.

The Story of Our Life

"CARTER!" Dr. Weaver screamed as she did her best to run down the hall to find Carter sleeping on a vacant gourney in scrubs. He looked so funny when he slept a small smile on his face with both his hands under his head and his legs curled up to his abdomen from the cold of the ER. "Come on Carter, its time to get up now" she said in somewhat of a childish voice trying not to laugh at his position. 'This isn't going to get me anywhere is it?' she thought to herself so she decided to try something new. She thought her words out carefully before yelling...

"CARTER MVA 4 MINORS 7 MAJOR POSSIBLE GSW TO TWO OF THE VICTIMS GET TO TRAUMA 3 NOW ETA 2 MINUTES!" the entire ER came to a stop at the sound of her voice and she just waved her hand indicating it was not a real trauma.

Carter didn't move. Kerry was nervous she had just yelled her lungs out at him and all he could do was continue to stay in dream land. she felt for a pulse and sure enough it was there. she turned around thinking of what to do when she felt a tap on her shoulder she turned around only to see a smiling Carter who didn't look tired at all.

"Nice try Kerry, but I was up" he said as he jumped down from the gourney and walked to the board.

"Very funny John" she called after him.

"So Randi, what've we got now?" he was serious and slightly tired but nothing that was new for him.

"Uh, your new med student called, Lucy Knight and she wanted to know when shes supposed to come in since she didn't get a schedule."

"I meant patients but thanks for telling me. Anyway tell her to come in at nine tomorrow. And now I'm off so I'll see you tomorrow." He got up and walked to the lounge.

'Well another long day at the ER is fiinally over' he thought to himself exhausted and happy.

~~~~~~~~Lucy knights apartment~~~~~~~~~

BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!

sounded her alarm at 8:15 in the morning.

"Damn!" she cursed at the clock while squinting from forgetting to shut her curtains last night.

She got up after possibly smashing her alarm to pieces (she couldn't see from the light) and got into a cold shower. She shivered from the icy water but it woke her up instantly. 'Why do I want to be a doctor again?' she thought this question to herself as she climbed out of the shower and slipped to her knees on the floor. With no injuries from her fall, she went to her closet and picked out a Juicy Couture red shirt and a pair of black Zcavvaricis that were a very comfy cotton which she decided she needed today. After blowdrying her hair she realized she had 17 minutes to get to the hospital and meet her new teacher. A Dr. Curtman or something like that. Either way she didn't want to make a bad first impression by being late. So she ran out of the house with her stuff and an orange on the way. She had no time to take the train since it had left 10 minutes ago, so she decided to take a cab. Unfortunately she was 3 minutes late when she got to the hospital. 'here goes nothing' she told herself and walked into the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~CCGH~~~~~~~~~

"You must be Lucy Knight?" asked a skinny woman in a green shirt and jeans with wavy curly blond hair.

"Yea and you are?"

"Oh, I'm Randi, the co-desk clerk. Dr. Carter will be here to get you settled in in a minute... um just go sit over there in chairs and I'll call him over."

"Ok. thanks." Lucy walked over to chairs and found 3 other med students one 2 year and two first years like her.

"Hi I'm Lexia and this is Aaron. You're Lucy aren't you?" the girl asked the three first years started chatting and once in a while glanced at the other woman who apparently seemed to feel superior to them being a second year. They didn't bother to talk to her with the nasty looks she shot them.

"So, I heard you have Dr. Carter for your teacher huh?" asked Aaron. Everyone seemed to know everything about her today but her, everyone knew her name (she obviously knew that one) and who was this Dr. Carter guy she had been waiting 10 minutes for? She already had a bad impression about him seeing as how he was late. 'Never judge a book by its cover' she told herself over and over again as she thought about his tardiness.

"Yea, who is he?" she asked them both

"Oh, he's supposed to be really gorgeous!" Lexia exclaimed to Lucy woman- to woman type thing. Aaron just rolled his eyes.

"He's supposed to be a brilliant doctor and supposedly went to Princeton for his pre med and Stanford for med school." this was Aaron's idea of a good impression.

All Lucy could do was think about Lexia's comment. 'Gorgeous, huh?' but she was also anticipating to get started so this hot guy better show up soon. Just then a brown headed man with a tall gangly figure in a lab coat walked up to the three students. If this was him Lucy was "in love" like a movie star type crush.

"Which one of you is Lucy Knight?" he asked

"Uh thats me" Lucy calmly said. trying to hide the fact that she thought he was G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S! but still she kept her cool.

"Right, um sorry I was late we had a trauma come in." 'Wow shes not half bad.' he seemed to have this thing for blonds lately, he couldn't understand what it was.

"Thats fine" she replied making direct eye contact with him. Lexia just giggled. she had known the girl for 10 minutes and already she knew that Lucy didn't like someone to be late.

~~~~~~~~~~Lounge~~~~~~~~~

"Ok, so Lucy, you're going to be my med student for the next few years, through that time-" he cut himself off. "this stuff is crap they've got this form written out as if I wouldn't know what to say. Ok, here's the deal. I'll be handling your ER rotation. I hope you already have your next rotation registered right?"

"Yea I'm going into surgery next rotation" she handed him her registration form.

"Ok, fine. So today I'm going to start you on some sutures and rectals which may not be good news for you but I on the other hand get to watch your moments of terror putting something up someones ass." he smiled a little hoping she would understand his humor.

"I don't know that it could get any better" she sarcastically said returning the humor. 'good hes got a sense of humor' she was liking him more by the minute.

'ok, she has a sense of humor. maybe she wont be so bad' he was starting to like Lucy being his med student. With Henry things had gone totally off so it was a relief to finally see someone with a down to earth type of personality from what he could tell.

~~~~~~~~~~Lucy's apartment~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well mom, he is first of all drop dead gorgeous!" she had been talking to her mom on the phone for a while now, the subject somehow turned to Dr. Carter though.

"Really? Good go for it" her mother was happy to hear Lucy go for more than all work no play.

"I can't" she hated knowing that. Usually if she liked a guy she could go for him in a second and hed fall into a little trance or something but he was different why?..."He's my teacher mom. I'm not going to sleep with him to get better evaluations. The hospital would freak!" that was very true. She and he could loose their careers, hers before it had even started.

"Well then wait till your next rotation. He wont be teaching you the medical abc's then."

"Ok ok ok I will, but mom I have to go Love you, bye!"

"Bye"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~5 months later~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Carter!" Lucy shouted walking from the suture room

"What Lucy?" he was so tired of her right now.

"What the hell was that? You can't walk me through the proceidure?" she was soo agravated, it had been this way since Lucy had settled in. She didn't know that Carter had feelings for her which he claimed to himself was the reason he was so nasty to Lucy. when he explained to her though he would just say that Benton had been tough on him and he had benefitted from that so Lucy might do better from this. She would just say he was full of shit.

"Lucy, its 5 months into your year and you cant do a suture?!" he was shocked at that

"It's not just a suture, you want me to suture the muscle I haven't done that before! It would be nice to get through the job without gaining a lawsuit because my moronic teacher thought I should know it when he's the one who is supposed to teach it!"

"Fine, you know what, just let me do it" he walked into the room and felt sorry for yelling at her immediately.

She on the other hand was still angry with him. The entire hospital knew that more than half the time she was right but still they didn't question Carter, he was one of the best doctors this hospital had. They weren't about to question his techniques teaching or trauma.

'G-d he's so gorgeous!' she thought to herself but then she cursed herself for thinking of him that way when she was ready to knock him to the moon.

'Why am I always attracted to the bitchiest women in the world but then Lucy can be a bitch and an angel? what the hell is the matter with you carter?' with that he left 10 minutes early off of his shift.

To where? Lucy's appartment.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucy's appartment~~~~~~~~~~

KNOCK KNOCK!

Lucy heard someone knock at the door just as she had gotten out from her shower. She had figured it was her friend Bernard so as she looked through the peep hole wearing only a towel she saw the brown hair which she assumed to be no one but Bernard. When she opened the door though she was shocked at who's face looked up at her.

"Dr. Carter?!" she was embarrassed to be standing there in front of her teacher in nothing but a towel. she did her best to cover herself up. He saw this but could only see her standing there. 'G0d she's even gorgeous wearing only a towel' he smiled a little and Lucy figured it was a laughing smile she started to blush.

"Uh, yea listen I can come back another time if uh.." he put his hand to his mouth to stop his smile or at least cover it. "this is a bad time for you?"

"Ya think?"

"Ok. Um I'll see you tomorrow then, it can wait" he started to back away hoping she would call him back. His wish was granted.

"Um....if you'll give me five minutes I can change." he turned around. "It had to be important if you couldn't call me on the phone." she invited him in and showed him to her living room. When she went to her room she started to silently panic. 'What do I wear?' she pulled out a silvery metalic pair of pants. 'Ok, now a top' she remembered that she only had about 5 minutes. However Carter assumed that she would be in there for a while. This didn't bother him too much. He liked at least being in her 'territory' it just made him feel comfortable. It wasn't the design. He hated it. He was too uptight to let loose and decorate with such vibrant colors like she had. Green, Blue, Red, white, yellow, purple, etc. decorated her space and he just couldn't figure out what was making him so relaxed. Just as he was thinking about it, Lucy walked out of her room wearing silvery pants and a pretty low cut white V-neck shirt. He almost dropped his jaw but stopped himself just in time.

"So, what did you come by for?" she sat down on a chair opposite him and crossed her legs. Though she hadn't meant to make that a body language type of sign she had. He was in a spell with her. She didn't seem to be surprised. Men always felt this way around blonds. she knew that. She had many blond friends and many brown haired friends. Judging by their detailed stories; blonds did have more fun.

"Um, I wanted to apologize in person for being.." he breathed in a heavy sigh trying to think of a word. Lucy beat him to it.

"An arrogant ass hole would be the term most used" she suddenly remembered her hatred for him at that time and wondered why she had put on such a suggestive ensemble. He laughed trying to lighten the mood or embarrassed knowing that she was right.

"Yea that could probably say it"

"what I don't get is why" she leaned forward also not intentionally leading him to see slightly down her shirt. She realized her mistake and sat up as calmly as possible trying to cover her mistake. 'Come on Lucy get a hold of yourself you're never like this with guys' But, Carter was different. He had HER in a spell she had never been mesmorized like that by someone before it scared her a little but also excited her. She knew her instincts would make this easier. She didn't know how but she knew.

"Well, I guess I thought I was doing the right thing being hard on you or being tough-"

"Don't throw me this whole 'benton was tough on me' crap" she got up and found herself pacing.

"Well what am I supposed to say?" He got up as well

"I don't know you could tell the truth for a start that seems to get people somewhere these days!" she yelled.

"Fine you want the truth?"

"Yea. I think I deserve it"

"OK fine." and with that he walked up to Lucy grabbed her by her arms and kissed her. she responded though a little surprised. When he pulled away he was nearly breathless. backing away he said,

"There, thats the truth" he started to walk out but who should stop him in his trail but Lucy.

"Ok. I guess I'd have to show you my secret too." she kissed him now taking him by surprise. He thought she might hate him for what he had done. Make her look like a fool then trying to seduce her! the entire thing confused even him. She pulled away knowing that he would follow her to her bedroom.

"Wait Carter!" they were still fully clothed but in a tangle of eachother.

"What?"

"What about hospital policies and our jobs and the nurses with their stupid rumors and- I mean G0d carter, we really shouldn't do this" she got up and started pacing again. he only sat there on her bed smiling at his next words. "Screw it" that surprised both of them. He was usually so uptight and followed the rules. Hell, he wouldn't leave 1 minute early off of his shift just to follow the rules.

"Excuse me?" she started to laugh.

"I said screw it. Who cares? I know you don't."

"You don't know me Carter"

"So let me"

"Fine. But go take your coat off. you wont be that cold. trust me"

He came back into the room to find Lucy sitting on her bed shoes off and she looked comfortable. 'Do this right' they both thought to themselves.

"Ok. so you wanna get to know me?"

"Mhm" he was now sitting next to her

he kissed her and soon it became more than that. They wouldn't let go of eachother even to breathe. They were living off of eachother that was all they needed then. She was relaxed and found that she enjoyed this much more than being with any other man she had been with before. She was just happy to see him next to her. He felt the same way. Any other time he was with a woman it wasn't meaningful it was just well, sex. This wasn't just sex though. It was slow, romantic, and to him cloud 9. They were totally naked when they decided to stop. All he could do was hold her and all she could do was let him. That was all she wanted. To be wrapped in him. She didn't care about the hospital anymore. The nights events had taken away any worry she had had about that. He on the other hand started to think twice.

Though he was worried he fell to sleep with Lucy in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CCGH~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey carter, this is a first you're 10 minutes late." Jerry laughed when Carter walked into the hospital.

"Yea I guess so" he was in a better mood than most days but still he was nervous people would notice.

He walked out of the lounge only to run into Lucy while she wasn't looking.

"Oh sorry Dr. Carter" she touched her head while he touched his chin where Lucy had hit him. She only came up so high to a man who was 6"1.

"Just be careful Lucy are you trying to break my chin open?" he was back to his old self again. mean and arrogant. 'hes just trying to pretend infront of everyone else' she thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Roof~~~~~~~~~

"Jerry said I might find you here"

"Yea, well leave it to Jerry to know me all too well to know where I go to be alone"

"I can take a hint."

"No its fine. I was going to go down anyway to find you"

"Yea, we do need to talk about last night"

"Look Luce, it was great but it shouldn't have happened." Luce was his knew name for her. He called her that when he was actually in a good mood around her.

"Wow. that was a stab in the heart" she sounded sorry and ashamed she had shown him herself entirely only to be pushed away from it the next day .

"Look, we shouldn't have done it thats all. We were caught up in the moment"

"Some moment. Which need I remind you, you created. If you were going to regret it, putting your mouth to mine isn't a good idea"

"G0d Lucy you make such a big deal out of everything"

"ME?"

"You are the only Lucy up here aren't you?"

"Ok this is coming from a man, who wont leave his shift 1 minute early to follow rules, then you had to go and stick your tongue in my mouth!"

"Thanks for the details not what I wanted to hear"

"Then don't do it Carter. I don't know why I ever liked you"

"Neither do I"

"Well, most people like to associate their actions with their thoughts. If you hate me so much don't crawl into my bed and make me feel like I did last night."

"Like what?"

"Like...." she thought out those words carefully "Like someone who I slept with meant something to me. I mean more than anyone else. Special. That is what last night was to me!" He felt bad now "But to you, I'm just another blond to put on your score board" He felt worse now.

``````````````````````````````````````````````

Thats all right, Thats ok

I bet you never thought you'd hear me say,

that I think its time for you to find another dumb blond

cuz, its not me no more!

-Hoku

```````````````````````````````````````````````

Just then a trauma called them both down. They spent the rest of the day in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trauma 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He's lost 400cc's we have to get some more blood in here!" Kerry called

"We're out of O-neg!"

"Then get someone in here who has it!"

"Carter!"

"What?"

"Go you're our guy you're gonna give him some blood!" Chuny sat him down and drew the blood without Lidacane to numb it.

"HHEEEYY!" he yelped in pain

"Sorry, we're running out of time"

"Yea, I thought so" he said in a pain filled tone taking in sharp breaths from having the needle in his vein for so long.

"GOT IT!"

"Ok, put it in"

"He's a systolic!"

"Charge the paddles to 200"

"Clear"

nothing

"Charge, Clear"

nothing

"400! clear!"

nothing

"one more time, charge.....clear!"

flat line.

"Ok, that's it hold compressions, lets call it and close him up. Carter call it"

"Fine. Time of death, 13:49"

"Ok, Yosh, you know what to do"

"Yup, I've got it covered"

"Thanks"

"Wait, wait, wait so I gave my blood to a dead guy?!"

"Carter, it was a deed you tried to help but sometimes it just doesn't work, you know that"

"Yea but now I'm dizzy and I can't work for another couple of hours and I'm off in 20 minutes"

"And you're COMPLAINING?"

"Forget it Kerry, I'm going home"

"Feel better!" she called after him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucy's apartment~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What is it exactly that you want Carter?"

"My clothes for a start"

"You're wearing them"

"My shirt, I had an extra in my locker but I left the other one here so if you don't mind I'm going to get it and then I'm out of here"

"Who's the dumb blond this time?" she used a tone that really got to him and struck the wrong nerve

"You know what Lucy, Who I sleep with or date is none of your business so why don't you just worry about who crawls into your bed and no one else's? "

"Good idea next time I'll kick you out when you try to seduce me" she picked up his shirt from the counter and through it at him in a plastic bag. "there, now you can leave....unless you're going to hit on me again. But this time I have a fair warning" she walked into her room and slammed the door not bothering to see him out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carter's apartment~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the phone rang just as carter got home and into his living room.

"Carter" he answered

"John? its Gamma"

"Hi Gamma" he was not very excited about talking to this woman in particular who also was a blond woman but Carter hated her of all people. 'Ha Lucy, your not the only blond I hate!' though he knew he wasn't fooling himself, he really liked her except for when she got like this. He liked her but he didn't want last night to repeat itself.

"John, JOHN?"

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Just that tomorrow we're having a dinner for Chase's birthday and you were the first person he wanted to invite."

"I really wish I could but, I have work until 9:00 the next morning" he really was sorry. He thought that Chase would hate him after what had happened but apparently that wasn't the case.

"So, call the hospital and tell them to find a substitute"

"I can't my student has her evaluation tomorrow night" He hadn't remembered until his grandma made him think about it.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that John. But if you change your mind we all would love to see you come. from around 7:30 to 11:00 or so but Chase is spending the night for the doctor's the next day"

"Ok Gamma look I just got home from a 14 hour shift I'm a little exhausted so I'm going to hang up now okay?"

"All right dear get some sleep I love you"

"Me too Gamma bye"

when he hung up the phone he walked to his room and collapsed on his bed turning on some music, and once again, thinking about who else but,.... LUCY. 'Stop thinking about her man!' he was trying to get Lucy off of his mind but he couldn't. Fine he'd call her to set the record straight.

he dialed her number which he got out from the message that Randi had given him earlier.

"Hello?"

"Lucy, hi its-"

"I know who it is Carter"

"Right um,"

"Look whatever it is just spit it out Carter"

"Would you meet me at Doc Magoo's in an hour?"

"Why, try and seduce me there infront of everyone?"

"Lay off that Lucy its getting old" that was true and they both knew it

"Fine, one hour I'll wait 5 minutes then I'm leaving"

before he could say anything else she hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1hour later, doc maggo's~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Mind if I sit down?"

"sure go ahead"

"OK, look Lucy, about what I said earlier on the roof, I really did like last night okay?"

"But you don't want it again"

"Yea........I think"

"It's a yes or no question Carter"

"I don't know Luce"

"Yes, you do. you're gonna say no"

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you wouldn't have said it earlier then would you?"

"so what if I'd changed my mind?"

"Oh now you're playing games with me? You are a real piece of work you know that? first you lead me on, then you dump me on it the next day now you wanna play that again? I don't think so" she got up and walked out. He chased after her.

"Hey! you didn't give me a chance to finish what I was saying!"

"I know already. you're going to say 'I don't know' that's what men always say when they are trying to say no"

"Would you just shut up!"

"What?"

he didn't bother to explain his comment and did something so totally stupid, they were right infront of the hospital in the middle of shift changes and he was kissing his med student.

"Jesus, Carter what the hell are you thinking?" she pulled away not even bothering to return his kiss.

"You're going to have to trust me when I tell you that I have no clue"

"no I mean we're infront of the hospital where we work and you kissed me"

"Uh, yea right, that, um..... no ones out here they didn't see"

"I'm gong home"

"ok. See ya tomorrow then"

"Well aren't you coming? he looked back to find her smiling at him

"Sure just let me go get some clothes from my house okay?"

"We're closer to mine, I'll just get some clothes okay?"

"Yea sure"

'score one! ding ding!' the victory bells went off inside his head.

'whats going to happen tomorrow?' was all she could think she didn't know what she had gotten herself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucy's apartment building~~~~~~~~~~`

Carter couldn't keep his hands off of Lucy the whole time they went up the stairs. She was relaxed but at the same time scared of what he would say the next morning. still she didn't pay much attention to it. She felt herself smiling and trying not to giggle too loudly when she tried to open the door still with Carter kissing her neck and holding her by the waist. How was she going to do this? get her clothes while he waited in her living room? apparently someone else had decided for her when she opened the door to find her ex boyfriend Dale in her living room. when she turned on the light she jumped and screamed a little before realizing who it was.

"G0d Dale what are you doing here and how did you get in?" Carter had stopped his little tease hearing her scream.

"Whoa! sorry didn't mean to interrupt anything there Carter!" he started to laugh. " Oh the nurses are going to love this one! Nice to see you Lucy, I came over here to see what you were up to I picked your lock to get in when you didn't answer for about 10 minutes. But now I guess the question is WHO your up to!"

"Oh shit!" carter whispered hoping Lucy wouldn't hear but she did

"You 2 know eachother?"

"Yea, Dale and I used to work together in the hospital"

"Until a little mishap which I still haven't forgiven him for" dale finished carters sentence.

"Um, you know what I have to get some stuff from my room why don't you stay here Carter, and Dale do me a favor?"

"Sure"

"I was going to stay here with Carter but since you've dropped by why dont you go get some stuff to eat or somethin' I was going to go shopping tomorrow though"

"And, Carter can come too" he looked at him with an evil smile

"No, I think he's going to stay here and help me study for my evaluation, Carter the books on are on my counter" she pointed to a stack of books winking at him so Dale wouldn't see.

"Sure" he walked over and brought the books to the couch.

"Fine, I'll be back in 5 minutes"

"Ok" Lucy replied anxious to get him out hoping he hadn't ruined the mood for Carter. She still wanted him. With that Dale left and Lucy went to her room to get some clothes. when she came out one minute later she was in a hurry to leave before Dale got back.

"Come on!" she grabbed Carter by the arm to leave. They made a sneaky leave from the building and grabbed a cab to Carter's apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carter's apartment.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You still wana do this?" he asked her when he opened the door.

"Yea how 'bout you?" she said quietly

he looked down at her and just smiled he wanted to still. Even more since he had to make up for their 'lost time' Even getting to the bedroom was hard when you had two people who couldn't stand to be 2 inches apart. Neither of them cared they just wanted to be together. Lucy dropped her bag in the front hall and they both left a trail of clothing after them. when they got to Carter's bed they were now both nervous for some reason. He backed away from her first. she didn't object.

"What are we thinking?" she asked cold from being practically naked.

"I'm still thinking about what Dale said" she looked at him with a puzzled look

"Telling the nurses, Luce?"

"Yea me too.....I'm still trying to get a picture of his face when he finds us gone" she laughed a little at a possible image in her head.

"That would be funny to see" he was smiling now but he never really laughed. Lucy didn't know why.

"So..."

"Who cares?" he went at her again and this time she felt the same way. Her worries left her as soon as she felt his hands on her neck. .....

They laid there in bed together both awake still breathless and happy from what they had been up all night for. He was stroking her hair while she was sprawled on him in a comfortable position her head on his chest and hands on his neck not wanting to let go of him.

"Wow" She was the first to break the silence.

"Yea" he kissed her head.

"That was..."

"perfect" he finished her sentence also stating how he felt about the whole thing.

"Yea, perfect" she looked up at him and smiled then kissed him.

"But, what do we say when Dale tells the nurses?"

"Um, I really don't know"

"That's a first Luce, you not knowing what to say?"

"hey!" she sat up and hit him on the chest jokingly

"Ow!" he said while laughing

"I remember the last time you said that when I hit you!"

"Yea you kicked me in the chest! I broke two ribs"

"hey you're the one who walked in while I was doing Tae Bo! that was your fault" she laughed replaying the image of Carter flying across the room. that had been one of the best times she had had in a long time. Though she was sure she couldn't say the same for him at the time.

there was silence for a while between them. She laid on him and thought about all the times they had had together good or bad fights or flings. He laid there thinking the same only he also wanted to decide then where to go from there. 'Would this be a one time thing?' correct that a 'second' time thing? 'or am I going to want more from her than that?'

she wasn't about to confuse herself with such questions. But then she did while trying to avoid them.

'Does he want me just for a one night stand?' that didn't sound good to her so she tried to comfort herself with a better question like 'or maybe he wants more? maybe a relationship?' carter didn't seem like the person to have a one night stand just for the hell of it. then again he didn't seem like a one night stand guy at all.

"Carter, what happens from here?" she asked still on his chest.

"I was hoping that...."

"What?"

"Maybe we could take it slow but make it more than just a one night stand?"

she thought a long time and this worried him. He thought that she thought him crazy!

"Yea, I'd like that"

"goodnight Luce"

"g'night Carter"

"hey Luce?"

"Yea?"

"You can call me John since no one's around"

"G'night John"

and with that they fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carters apartment~~~~~~~~~~~

previously on ER fanfic the story of our life:

"Maybe we could take it slow but make it more than just a one night stand?"

"Yea, I'd like that"

"You can call me John, Luce since no ones around."

"Good night John"

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Coming!" carter stumbled out of bed with Lucy still asleep he put on some clothes and answered the door.

"Hey man come on, where were you?" Dave Mallucci walked into his apartment looking a little upset and worried.

"What?" Carter squinted from the light that Dave brought in with him from outside.

"Doc Magoo's 9:00 this morning?" Dave tried to refresh Carter's memory.

He thought for a moment and remembered that he had made plans with Dave to meet him so that they could plan out Dr. Chen's surprise party. The two were her two best friends since she had come back to Chicago though, Dave wanted it to be more.

"Oh shit!" Carter ran his hand down his face yanking at his skin trying to look sorry he ran a hand then through his hair with a 'look man forgive me please! I was busy I slept in!' kind of look and Dave could tell. He suddenly didn't look so upset anymore.

"Ooohhh, Man you got some last night didn't you?"

"What?!" that awoke Carter right away to know that his friend could see through his act. But he wasn't trying to deny anything. He must have been either looking happy or tired from being up so late with someone.

"Carter, come on man, it's kinda obvious you're tired, and you got off at 9:00 last night, pretty early, but you slept in. It makes perfect sense!" and that it did he should have gotten plenty of sleep without being 'detained' by a woman.

"It's that obvious huh?"

"Yea sorry man" he put a half joking half sympathetic hand on his friends shoulder. then he smelled something in the air.

"What's that?" he smelled Lucy's perfume on Carter and his clothes.

"What's what?" he tried to hide it

"That smell, its perfume or something but its not your cologne man I can tell you that!"

"How do you know that?"

"Cause this stuff actually smells good! no offense man but your stuff does kind of smell funky"

"Dave, its supposed to appeal to a woman not you!" he laughed at his friends stupidity.

"Whatever man, that's not your stuff I know your cologne" that scared Carter for a minute to know that Dave recognized his sent. "You're the only Doc besides Kovac that wears any to work"

"You don't?"

"Na, just deoderant , but anyway who's the woman in there?"

"No one you'd know"

"Blond?"

"Yea" he'd give him that much

"Then I know her"

"How?" that got Carter nervous

"You of all people should know that I know every blond in the city of Chicago!" he laughed, the entire hospital thought Dave maybe a catch but a big, big flirt.

"True"

"Uh, so are you gonna tell me or just stand here in your flannels and a t shirt?"

"I'll be out in a minute let me go change"

"Fine I'm getting something to eat"

"K, go ahead" Dave went to the kitchen and Carter went back to his room to find Lucy sitting up awake smiling. She had the linens covering her chest with her arm streaked across her chest as well and her hair was a mess but still she looked beautiful to him.

"Hey," she said in a whisper

"Hey, sleep well?" he whispered back and kissed her quickly

"Yea you?"

"Yup, but listen Dave is outside in the kitchen, if he gets to the hall way he's gonna see your clothes on the floor."

"I know I heard him"

"Sorry did he wake you?"

"Yea but only when he recognized perfume on you" she smiled again

"Ok, well I'll get your clothes and you'll get changed and leave after us?"

"Sounds good to me"

"OK," he kissed her again not wanting to leave but he knew he had to. She felt the same.

"Ok, go on I'll see you later" she slowly broke away from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CCGH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ok, she's coming guys!" Dave said as Deb Chen walked towards the lounge while the entire ER staff gathered in the darkness Lucy, was there as well crouched with other female co-workers though wishing she could be next to Carter. He was on one side of the door and on the other side of the door posts was Dave, they would be the first to surprise her.

The door creaked open and Carter moved as the door did too. When she turned on the lights she was nearly scared down to the floor by Dave and Carter who picked her up and yelled

"SURPRISE!"

the rest of the ER followed in their chant.

"Oh my goodness you guys! this is great!" she kissed both Carter and Dave on the cheek and hugged them both at the same time.

"You did this all for me?"

"Yea, with the rest of the ER, you like it?" Dave had tried to impress her for a long time. She could tell he tried but she also knew she didn't feel like dating him right then.

"Its perfect" she looked around the Lounge and saw chineese decorations everywhere mixed with colorful streamers and a hand made pasts banner that read "HAPPY B-DAY, JING MEI"

Dave felt a smile cross his face and carter just looked at Lucy and did the same.

"Ok, either someone robbed a party store or its a birthday today" said a grumpy (as usual) Dr. Romano.

"Right um Robert, we decided to celebrate Dr. Chen's birthday, if you'd like to come and join us, that would be lovely however if you are going to just stand there and be a pesemist then I suggest you leave" said a somewhat aggravated Dr. Corday.

"Well, I would love to stay only we have a surgery to scrub in for Lizzy, so I suggest you get out of the party mood and into the 'I'm ready to cut someone open' mood" and with that he left claiming Elizabeth walking reluctantly after him. "Happy birthday Jing-Mei!" called Elizabeth as she walked out.

"Ok, ETA 2 minutes on an MVA with 3 majors and 2 minors adults and children in both categories" said Lydia as she got off the radio and into the lounge presenting Dr. Chen a present at the same time.

"Ok, I've got the minors taken" said Carter knowing full well that Lucy would have to take them with him so that the could talk while doing their job.

"Thank you John but I think Lucy needs to practice her traumas before evaluation so come one you two lets get going" said Kerry and John snuck Lucy one of those 'I tried' expressions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cafeteria~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey John!" Deb Chen came up to Carter while he was lost in thought over Lucy

"Huh?, Oh hey Deb" he snapped out of his thoughts seeing her come by

"I thought I'd have to throw that coffee in your face you wouldn't snap out of it" she giggled.

"I think this crap put me into some thought" he looked down at the black liquid which someone tried to disguise as coffee and laughed.

"John what's going on?" she suddenly got serious hoping he wouldn't think her prying

"What do you mean?" he didn't even think about what she was getting at

"I mean, today you seemed okay with telling someone that their son died. Nothing wrong with not being depressed about it, but you weren't your usual self, I don't know you just seemed happier throughout the whole day"

"I'm sorry I'll try to be more negative tomorrow" he was serious, he thought people would appreciate some happiness from him finally.

"That's not what I meant and you know it"

"yea"

"I know, I'm sooo stupid" she slammed her hand on the table and smiled turning her head away quickly then back

"What's the diagnosis doc?" he joked

"You had sex last night!"

"Say it louder"

"Why?"

"I don't think all of Chicago heard you!" he noticed that some people took notice to the 's' word and started to look at what it had been used for.

"Sorry but its true isn't it?"

he didn't answer. she knew that meant yes

"With who?!"

"like I told Dave who also knew, no one you'd know"

"Dave noticed too?"

"Yup I guess you 2 were made for eachother." he said not even realizing the depth of his comment

"very funny. Just tell me a name, hair color, eye color, height? anything!"

"I'm not giving a name, blond hair, hazel eyes, around your height a little shorter" he answered most of her questions

"Ok, there are how many blonds in Chicago?!"

"Enough that one of them fell into bed with me"

"Ha! boy she must have been drunk huh?"

"as drunk as an Irish"

"I don't get it" she stopped laughing trying to understand the joke

"Forget it"

"Right, so just tell me did you know her?"

"nope she was a stripper in a bar" he said sarcastically

"Ok stupid question to a doctor but-" her beeper vibrated and made her jump John knew it was the beeper. His beeper always scared her when it beeped so she set hers to vibrate. she got that look when it sounded off. "Sorry I have to go I'll talk to you later?"

"Yup maybe when I'm not with a stripper!" he joked

"Haha by the way thanks for the birthday surprise!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Exam 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey"

"hi"

"are you off now?"

"Yea you?"

"no, I have another hour"

"How did you get out?"

"I gave blood Kerry told me to go relax"

"can I join ya?"

"yea" he pulled Lucy onto the exam table to sit with him. He was tired, dizzy, slightly nauseas and in pain from the un numbed needle hole.

"so, how was your day? I mean aside from giving blood without Lidacane?"

"Ok yours?"

"mmmmm just as painful" she laughed a little then kissed her secret boyfriend.

"Not that I wouldn't love to have more but, I'm kind of not feelin' up to it now Luce"

"I know in case you didn't feel it my pager went off"

"Your shift ended you said?"

"Yea but they put me on the 24/7 call list"

"I see"

"See you at home?"

"Who's yours or mine?"

"Mine I'd have to get home earlier to go to bed and then get sleep" she laughed.

They had been dating for a while now, no one had noticed or so they thought. It had been nearly a month and they practically lived with eachother except they had 2 houses. Lucy would leave the ER for her surgery rotation and she and Carter could finally go out in public as a couple and not just as friends.

He really couldn't wait for that but he also would miss seeing Lucy everyday during a trauma or doing sutures. Then she would be one of the first to try a new rotation dedicated to pediatrics. County hadn't had that program yet and she would be the first to enroll in it. That would take more time from the ER for her but , he knew that she had a way with children so she would be happy there. He fell asleep thinking of her yet again.

When he woke up he realized that his dream was a sign. GET LUCY A VALENTINES GIFT! he had 2 days and he wanted it to be special for her. So he set off and went to as many stores possible......he finally found the perfect gift...........

~~~~~~~~~~~

When Lucy got home she was so tired that she forgot to take her coat off and just stumbled into her bed all warm and comfortable. She fell asleep then regained conciousness when she heard someone or something fall to the ground. She got up to see who it was and she grabbed an object, she had no idea what it was but it seemed heavy enough for her to throw at someone who shouldn't have been there. She slowly crept up and out of her bedroom. She noticed the neon alarm clock that read 2:30 AM and she knew Carter wouldn't be home until around 6:00.

She came up behind her counter to look at what had woken her from her pleasant dreams about.....Carter duh! she looked up to find that the person that fell had tripped over her shoes which were platforms by the way so it was a reasonable fall. She didn't recognize any part of him but then again she was in the dark so maybe the person was a woman. Either way she followed her instincts and got up quietly and threw the object with such aim she knew she wouldn't miss.

"OOOWWW!!" she heard the voice which sounded somewhat familiar, it was a man. Who though? She ran to the light switch to see.

"Oh my gosh!" she covered her mouth when Carter looked up to her with a bloody lower face. She discovered that the object she threw was a hair dryer.

"Dammit!" he cursed though not at her

"Carter you scared me!" she ran over to him trying to help with the bleeding

"Lucy, its ok I can manage" he pulled away not wanting to be helped.

"Oh shut up and sit down Carter"

"Nice to see you too Luce"

"Yea, well you didn't call to say you got off early so I assumed it was a burgler or something."

"Sorry, I thought I'd surprise you"

"Sorry I ruined it" she laughed a little

"I'm glad you find this amusing, someone should"

"It's not that, its just.....I can't help but replay your little fall in my head" she burst out laughing trying to cover her mouth with her hand.

"What did I trip on?"

"Um, my shoe"

"No, no it couldn't have been I tripped over something a little bigger than a shoe"

"Look, you tripped over my Steve Maddens, they're 3 inches Carter" she pointed to the white sneaker platform on the ground she had to admit it was in a bad place.

"How do you walk in those things?" he winced from the pain when she came over and cleaned it off

"I don't know its a- hold still Carter!- maybe a feminine instinct to walk in giant shoes!" she giggled so did he.

"Another thing to learn about women, always trying to get taller."

"Hey, I just thought they looked cute!"

"Sure you did"

"Very funny" she kissed his nose. "There, you had the best looking, bloody nose I've seen all day" she smiled.

"Thank you Dr. Knight"

"I like that, Dr. Knight....I cant wait until I graduate"

"Me either" he kissed her and they got up to go to bed. Now they pretty much had different schedules, so they didn't have time for any sex really, they just came home and went to bed like a married couple would. Both of them thought it scary to be married to anyone let a lone eachother but they knew they loved eachother. It was that simple. Take it one step at a time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2 days later Valentines Day~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey," Lucy said in a throaty voice from not talking for so long. she rolled over to see Carter smiling at her

"Hi. " he just kissed her. They both had morning breath but neither seemed to care.

"So, what's the plan for today?"

"Um, we have work together for a change." he was excited Lucy was thinking of coming back to the ER since she had lost a patient in surgery last week. Though it wasn't her fault she knew she could have done something. She even knew what that something was. She was trying to forget it and she thought that the ER might help.

"Yea that'd be nice" she smiled at him and just rolled into his arms. She felt so safe there. So easily seperated from the rest of the world there. She thought she could stay there for ever and never want to let go . But, she knew that everyday he had to eventually leave and she hated that. Today, however she was his student again and she could see him all she wanted. That almost made her feel better about having to leave his embrace.

"So, we're working on Valentines day and we work from 11:00 to 10:30 tonight. I might as well give you your gift now" he turned over to his coat which he left next to the bed and pulled out a box. Not small not large just a box. She looked ecstatic. When she opened that box, there was one inside but on the top it had a message,

' Lucy,

you mean everything to me. I love you soo much'

she opened that box to find a smaller one with a continuation of the message

'I cant stand to be away from you but I know I'll see your face again soon'

she again found another box. Each one getting smaller.

' It would kill me to be with someone else, so please just hear me out'

then she finally came to a tiny red box.

'Lucy, Ann Knight,'

and it stopped. she opened the box to see a diamond ring, with gold covering its sides and band.

she looked up at Carter with tears in her eyes.

"Will you marry me?" he found tears in his eyes too when he took the ring from the box and held it for her taking or leaving.

"I........."

Carter looked nervous as he waited for her answer he wanted her so much to say yes but he didn't want to push her

"I cant" she looked relieved to say the words yet hurt at the same time

he sat there in shock with a puzzled grin on his face "Why?"

"Because Carter, if I said yes could I tell anyone? Could I go to the hospital today wearing that ring? No. If and when we get engaged I want to be able to run in the hospital and tell everyone why I'm so happy"

He put the ring back in the box sadly.

"Oh. ok"

"I think we could get married but I'm scared to take it there. I want to be with you but, maybe not that seriously yet, OK?"

"Lucy, I don't know that I could do that"

"Why not? We've been fine up till now"

"It just hurts a little too much" he got up got dressed and left Lucy in her tears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~CCGH~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Carter! there's a patient in curtain 4 that could use a valentine if you don't have one maybe?"

"let me guess Chuny, you tell some girl that there is a handsome doctor coming in who has a remarkable resemblance to that guy from 101 degrees?" he added sarcastically

"Something like that. Please??? she seems I dunno, depressed"

"Ok, but no more valentines please at this rate I'll have the whole city be my one giant valentine" now he was a little aggravated. 'why would she make promises to someone for me?' that got him upset.

"Thank you Carter!" she called after him as he went to the curtain room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Curtain 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi.....Goldberg, Amy?"

"Yea that's me"

"Hi, I'm Dr. Carter"

"Hi"

"Ok what's the matter?"

"Um, I'm really not sure I woke up this morning and my foot looked, I don't know tinted to a purple color."

"Can you walk on it?"

"No, it hurt too much to put weight on it"

"Ok, Chuny, can I have a foot x-ray, a cbc, chem 3?"

"Yea sure"

"Ok lets just have a look"

"Ow!" she yelled as he only lifted the sock on her foot

"Ok, midline tenderness, and ..." he felt for a pulse as gently as possible

she took in sharp painful breaths

"Sorry, I've got a weak pulse in the femeral artery connecting to your foot so my guess is a blood clot"

"That's it? I was hoping for something dramatic as an excuse to be missing my wedding" she added hoping to start a conversation

"Wedding huh??"

"Yea 4:00 but I've got pictures now so I guess this throws us a little off schedule"

"I see, how long have you 2 been engaged if you don't mind my asking"

"No, that's fine. 1 year exactly. We're going to plan on saying I do at the exact time he proposed. 4: 45"

"Wow, that's really nice"

"thanks" she seemed to be lost in thought while Carter filled out some forms.

"I've got it!" she yelled obviously figuring out her thoughts.

"What?"

"Who you look like." Carter stood there puzzled "Jeff Timmons from 98 degrees! that's it! that had me stumped for a while"

"Really? I've heard that quite a bit who is he?"

"Just a great looking pop singer" she added smiling knowing that she figured out her puzzlement.

"Oh, thank you"

"Your welcome. When my fiancee comes try not to mention it though" she laughed a little.

"I proposed to my girlfriend this morning too"

"Oh that's so sweet. If you don't mind MY asking, what did she say?"

he looked a little uncomfortable. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked its not my business"

"No, no, no its not that its just that she said no"

"Oh I'm sorry"

"Thanks"

"I'm sure she'll realize her mistake soon enough"

"you barely know me and you know exactly what I'm hoping for" he laughed. Though it really was his wish he knew it wouldn't happen.

"Weird isn't it?"

"Yup. Ok ms. Goldberg your tests look normal except for your foot x-ray, so I'm going to remove the extra blood here and you'll be on your way to your wedding"

"Uh, do you have to use a needle?" she looked nervous

"Just a little one it'll actually feel good though to have the blood removed"

"I'm really, really scared of needles"

"Ok, well here's a trick then. Close your eyes." she followed "Imagine a place you'd want to be that makes you feel relaxed that excludes the alter!" he joked. She laughed.

"The Chupah you mean?"

"Huh?" he looked confused

"The Chuppah. Oh I'm Jewish."

"Oh I see. I still don't know what it is though" he began to insert the needle and she didn't move as she started to explain a Jewish wedding.

"...And the groom at the end crushes a glass sculpture with his foot to seal the vows, and they make that into a holy paper holder put on the door post called a Mizzuzah."

"Really? I was at a Jewish wedding once. I couldn't understand a word they said"

"Hebrew"

"That's what it was I think"

"I'm sure it was. Did they have a gate between the two sexes?"

"No, do they usually do that?" at this point the needle was removing the blood slowly but it seemed to have no effect on her feeling it. her foot started to regain normal coloration.

"Only the orthodox, or ultra religious."

"Oh. I really liked that song where they lift everyone on a chair" he recalled that wedding and how much he wanted them to be careful, him being a doctor and all but still he thought they looked like they were having a good time.

"The Horah"

"Yea." he removed the needle full of what looked like clean blood. "Ok, you're all set to go. take tylenol for the pain and tonight you should be ready to dance"

"Thank you so much Dr. Carter" she got up and saw her fiancee.

"Your welcome"

"OH, and good luck with your girlfriend. Just give her time"

"Thanks" He hoped she was right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Roof~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter went up to the roof to think about the early morning events. he had the ring in his pocket though he wished it was on Lucy's finger or at least in her pocket for that matter. He still felt crushed but Amy's words had taken off some weight and turned it into hope and possibility. Suddenly he heard the door shut. He turned around only to find Lucy in her jacket and scarf with a tear stricken red face. She had her hands inside her pockets and she looked mortified to find him up here. she wanted to come here and think but not to see him. This was a problem. They both came up HERE of all places to think.

"Um, I'll leave" she said pointing to the door.

No, its ok I have to go get patients anyways."

"Carter there are no patients Jerry said you had come down there to check like a hundred times" she hated it when he couldn't even make a good excuse to leave.

"Well I'm assuming you don't want to be up here with me"

"Your right but at least make a good excuse to go"

"So now you're trying to keep me here though you want me to go? right?"

"No! you always do that!"

"What now Lucy what else did I do wrong? I tell you I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that's wrong. Now trying to do something that apparently I always do that bothers you and you cant even tell me?! Thank you for saying no because apparently I don't know you at all if you can't even tell me what I do wrong!"

she started to cry again. "Look Carter you're the one who tells me that you want to be with me as you said for the rest of your life but when I tell you not just now you don't even want to spend the day with me! What is wrong with you?!"

"ME?!"

"Well who else would I be talking to?"

"Jesus Lucy, all you ever do is yell at me even now when now you're the one who I should be mad at!"

"You know something you're right"

"Really? that's the first thing I've heard you say today that makes sense"

"You are absolutely right. There is always something to be mad at me about right John? You should know that. 'What's wrong with Lucy?' Did you get up every morning and ask yourself; 'what is the matter with Lucy today?' ?" she was over reacting and she knew it but she had to say something.

"What in hell are you talking about Lucy?"

"I don't know ok! I don't know." she seemed relaxed the second time she said it.

"You know, today I treated a patient who said you would realize what a mistake you made. And the funny thing is. Is that I hoped she was right!" he threw his hands in the air.

"Well John did she know that we were going out in secret?"

he didn't even look at her. He knew she was right about that.

"I thought so. If she knew about that one MINOR detail, she might think differently."

Lucy walked off the roof and downstairs.

"Damn!" Carter cursed aloud. This was not the way he had planned to spend the day with Lucy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ER Desk~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lucy, good thing you're here they have a multi victim GSW coming in and they need all the help they can get!" Jerry was just getting off the radio.

"Carter isn't down here though, um I don't know if I should"

"Well someone else can supervise you there uh, I think Dr. Greene will be in on this one so you're fine with him"

"Ok sure what's the ETA?" she asked a little unwilling to deal with a trauma right now.

"3 minutes so you better hurry." he pointed toward the trauma room they would use for the first victim

"Thanks Jer!" Lucy ran to get dressed for the trauma in the plastic glasses, the yellow robes and gloves she loved getting worked up for a trauma just this time she would rather have been anywhere else than the hospital where Carter could come within inches of her in the trauma room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Trauma 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good work Lucy, I haven't seen you work that hard for a long time!" Haleh was cleaning up the victim who would be sent to surgery to remove the 5 bullets in his abdomen and back. Lucy had saved the day when she caught a bleed out of one of the main arteries to the heart. The bullet had pierced the Vena Cava Superior and she caught it in the blink of an eye. She worked so hard not because of the adreniline or the fact that the patient was pretty good looking despite the blood but, she worked that way so people would comment that she COULD work without Carter. People usually thought she depended on him for the answers but proving that she worked better without him only proved them wrong. Plus, the quicker she worked the quicker she got a break from the mess of things in the ER on Valentines day.

"Thanks, he was pretty lucky though it wasn't only me"

"Stop being modest Lucy you saved him!" Mark called coming in to send him up to the OR

"Thanks again. I'm just going to take a little break if you don't mind?"

"Yea sure just be back in a half hour ok?"

"Fine see ya later Haleh, you too Dr. Green!"

"It's Mark!"

Lucy liked knowing that people like Dr. Green were beginning to accept her as part of their staff. She could tell because now she seemed to be on a first name basis even with Dr. Romano and Dr. Weaver. Carter though, was a different story. No matter how much of family she felt like in the ER she would never call him John in public. It just felt wrong inside to her. She knew it would remind her of when they were together. She wanted to forget that as quickly as humanly possible.

In the lounge Lucy decided to go through all of her pictures that she had in her wallet. No reason though and she reminded herself, ' I don't usually keep pictures of him anyway, besides, I just got a role developed and it would be nice to add them in'. She found herself gravely mistaken though. When she went to go get her wallet she found him in there doing the same. 'It's not like all the pictures I have are of her' but he too found himself proven wrong. VERY wrong. As he looked through his photos he found that all but 2 photos contained Lucy either with the rest of the ER or just her or them together. He would have cried accept that he heard the door open and he turned to see who had interrupted his thoughts. Only what he saw pushed him farter into thought. It was Lucy, and she had been crying again. He saw her walk in slowly towards her locker tissue in hand sniffling trying to hide her tears though she knew she couldn't have done any worse than that stupid act.!

He ignored her until Dr. Finch came in for her shift.

"Hey guys!" she seemed happy and cheerful today. Cheerful was not a normal thing for her though she always came into work with a positive attitude which some how made everyone comfortable around eachother.

"Hey, Cleo" Carter called not looking up from his own actions but raised a hand in greeting.

"Hi Dr. Finch" Lucy though was different she had a smile on her face now and Carter could tell she was wearing makeup when he saw her with a clear face now and blush on her cheeks.

"You can call me Cleo Lucy, everyone else does" she giggled a little and the two exchanged a girlfriend kind of smile. "So how've your valentines, been coming you two?"

"Oh, fine thanks and yours?" Lucy seemed to be doing a lot better with this act than the one she had put on for Carter.

"I have 2 valentines today, Reese AND Peter!" she held up the two cards. Reese's was a scribbled piece of paper with some kind of baby language on it though the words 'I love you Clee" were somewhat readable.

Peter's however was a nice romantic hallmark card that didn't however beat out Reese's own card. She wouldn't tell him that though.

"Clee?" Lucy exclaimed asking about the name Reese had given Cleo

"He hasn't been able to do the whole 'O' sound yet so he just calls me 'Clee' or 'CleeClee' so I guess Peter helped him write it out"

"Oh,"

"And what about you John, how many women threw themselves at you this year?" she said somewhat sarcastically.

"Oh so many I cant count them on my hands"

"Really how many?" she asked again jokingly

"Zip, Zero, Nada, Zelch" he said looking surprised though both women knew it was a joke. Lucy thought it stupid. Though she never had before when he made jokes like that.

"Aha I see. well go outside someone has to be drunk enough!" she laughed and left for her shift.

"Oh you're funny." Lucy said walking out with her wallet and developed photos in hand.

"Thank you" he said casually in reply though he meant it sarcastically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ambulance bay~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Lucy why do you always obsess over him even when you're supposed to hate him?' she asked herself over and over again. It bothered her. He was always so perfect even when he was wrong. 'He's too perfect there has to be a flaw somewhere' she thought about it and couldn't find one. 'See he's perfect, you just can never hang on to the right ones you are always attracted to the wrong ones!' the odd part was that she was attracted to Carter even now when she hated him or at least when she was supposed to. 'Ok Lucy you need serious help' she told herself but then she heard it aloud from someone.

"What do you mean?" she replied to whoever it was

"Lucy, you're sitting outside in Chicago in the middle of February that's what I mean its like a bazillion below out here and you're out here without even a jacket!"

she looked up to find Dave Malucci the last person on her list right now besides Carter. Dave always seemed to be nasty to Lucy he was always sarcastic to her and now wasn't a good time for him to test her patience she was upset and he was making it worse. "Fuck off Mallucci!" she had a harsh, cold, and cruel voice yet she remained at a normal tone.

"Save it for someone who deserves it Lucy! I haven't done anything to deserve that"

"You're right sorry I'm just in a bad mood" she knew he was right.

"On valentines day?"

"Yea, of all days huh?"

"Yep. Well why are you so mad if you don't mind my asking."

she thought about a way to hide it. "I...uh....don't have a valentine???" she tried though she laughed at it and Dave knew she was lying.

"Oh. Ok, now you can tell me the truth" he sat down next to her.

"Um its nothing really I'm sorry I can't really talk about it"

"Oh that's ok I shouldn't have budded in anyways"

"That's ok"

"So need a valentine?"

"I could use one yea"

"Fine I'm doing this as your friend so here goes nothing" he got down on one knee and Lucy felt her stomach knot. It reminded her of another action she knew all too well.

"Lucy, will you please be my valentine?" he said it in a joking tone for the whole one knee thing

"Yea sure why the hell not?" she laughed and he laughed with her

"well don't throw yourself at me please!" he joked back.

"Ha, so I'm number what on your valentines list?" she thought him a player type person liking all that hip hop and pop music she listened to sometimes but not too often. Carter had gotten her stuck on Jazz.

"Uh, let me think,.....2"

"Really that high up?"

"No, you're the last one, no offense" he smiled a little with a small laugh

"Oh thank you!" she was sarcastic " So who was the first?"

"Deb"

"I should've guessed"

"Yea, well I figure if I can't date her I might as well ask her to be my valentine you know?"

"Hey, maybe she'll come around" she tried to comfort him. He really liked Deb, not just as another date but he really liked her.

"That's ok. She's a pretty cool friend so maybe that's how it'll stay for a while"

"Yea" they sat in silence for a while just thinking. Each about someone else who if you don't know by now should reread the last section!

"Well I have to get back to work, I'm off in an hour and I have this family thing or whatever so I'll see ya Lucy!"

"Bye Dave, happy valentines day"

"You too Lucy"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Doc Magoos~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Carter" Mark said when he found his friend sitting in a booth next to the widow.

"This seat taken?" he pointed to the seat across from him

"Nah, si' down "

"So what's up with you?" he tried to start a conversation, anything to take his mind off of, well he didn't want to even say her name to himself.

"Nothing that's what" he looked a little disappointed

"Nothing being?..." someone's life had to have a positive side to it on a day like this. His surely didn't.

"Elizabeth and I were planning on goin' out tonight until she got stuck with the graveyard shift from Romano" he looked frustrated "That bastard"

"sorry your plans got messed up" he tried to look sympathetic. Being the bad actor he was though (his other choice for a major, which would explain his medical profession), it didn't work

"Nice try" they both knew what mark meant by that.

"So what're you going to do then?"

"I volunteered to take the graveyard shift too and surprise the ER with a cake or something"

"I won't tell", his beeper suddenly went off "But, I have to go 911"

"K, see ya!"

"Yea later" he waved without looking back

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CCGH trauma 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"What've we got now?" Carter asked as he saw the gurney pull up through the doors

"Get Lucy, Luka and Abby in here now!" Kerry yelled coming to the side

"Paul Sobriki 24 found in his bathroom uncouncious with lesions to the chest and abdomen possible head trauma estimated time down is 35 minutes, we had a saline drip for dehydration and 3 amps of atrpine, he's hyppertensive pulse ox is 78 on 20%" the paramedic gave Carter the bullet quickly as they pulled into trauma 2.

"Ok, lets intubate his states are dropping and he's running outta time here" Kerry demanded as she grasped the respirator.

"BP is 90/68 resps are down to 50" Lilli called out

"OK give me 3 of haldol 2 of lithium and I want a Chem 7, CBC, and head x-rays"

"Let's just get him stable Kerry" Luka joined the party

"OK he's stable" Lucy called out, she was right his stats had come back up and he was ready for x ray

"Lucy you and Carter can take this patient he has a friend out there who's gonna want some explination"

"I'll do it" Carter stripped off his gloves and walked briskly outside to talk to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Room 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Lucy, why aren't you and Carter working on that Sober guy?" Kerry was taking charge since she had noticed a sudden friction between the two.

"He's stable right?"

"Yes, but I didn't see either of you up there working on him."

"Well I was before Dr. Carter had another patient I guess"

"Lucy, you tell him that he should be with you for evaluating patients, you should know that"

"Ok, sorry"

"its ok just keep on observing him and diagnose him" Kerry pointed to Lucy as she walked away with a directing finger.

"Ok" 'WORK WITH HIM AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! why? of all people she had to evaluate a patient with it had to be him! her ex boyfriend the man she despised most in the world, (or so she tried to tell herself) CARTER of all people!' she stopped herself dead short with a fairly reasonable explanation 'Lucy, he is your teacher remember? you guys weren't supposed to date eachother!' she was right or at least the other half of her that was telling her what she knew was the right thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lounge~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey John!"

Carter jumped at the sound of a familiar voice at the moment though, he wasn't thinking straight apparently though, this person wanted to make that clear.

"CARTER!" this time Benton hollered his name.

"Yea! sorry, um whats up?"

"Carter you gave some woman with HPV the triple cocktail, do you want to tell me why?"

"Uh, sorry I guess I wasn't thinking straight I haven't gotten much sleep lately"

"Whatever Carter, if its HPV you know to send her to oncology just get her off it and send her up there!"

"Ok"

"NOW!" he demanded though with a solid voice

"OK! I'm on it" he moved away and passed Benton quickly in an aggravated walk outside. He knew that sleeplessness wasn't the reason he wasn't thinking straight. It was Lucy, the woman who only yesterday he loved with all his heart. Only this morning he learned she didn't love him the same way.

On his way out he bumped into Lucy when this time HE wasn't the one thinking clearly and being clumsy.

"Carter, just watch it next time" she didn't even recognize the pain from the chart he had hit her in the head with. That was it. He didn't want to stand there and take that blow to his pride in front of everyone on staff. He was not about to let her get away with that. He stormed back into the lounge.

"Carter did you get her up there?" Benton asked knowing full well it took longer than that to get someone up to oncology with that short of notice.

"Peter just give me a minute all right, I'll get on it" he was angry and he showed that to Peter.

"Forget it I'll do it myself" he got up knowing that Carter needed to blow off some steam though he didn't know what about.

"Dammit Carter is everything an argument with you?" Lucy yelled though in a whisper careful not to let everyone outside which was mostly nurses, to hear their business.

"I haven't said a thing Lucy" he remained calm he suddenly realized that he couldn't yell at her anymore. He cared about her too much even though she didn't care about him that way.

"I know you well enough to know what you were about to say"

"Ok fill me in because right now I'm pretty clueless" he leaned against the counter on one arm.

"To tell you the truth Carter I don't know what you were going to say but I don't want to hear it"

"Ok, I won't tell you that I love you"

"That was the last thing I would ever want to hear from you but even still"

"OK, well I'm going to say it anyway"

"go ahead see if it makes any difference to me"

"Lucy Ann Knight, I love you"

"Congradulations, you have set the record on my count"

"Oh yea which one is that?"

"Being dumped twice in one day" without thinking he grabbed her by the arm as she walked past him and just looked at her with tears in his eyes. She missed seeing him look at her with any gentleness at all and she too didn't think and kissed him. He backed away first, surprising even to him.

"Lucy,"

"Um, I have to go Paul Sobriki needs evaluating"

"I have to go with you" he would find any excuse to be with her at that time

"No you don't , I'll do it by myself"

"Fine" as much as he wanted to be with her he knew she needed to think over what had just happened. Though she knew she could do it on her own she still needed him to be there, not according to her heart but according to the hospital. She walked out of the lounge hoping her lipstick hadn't been smeared but she wouldn't bother to check in front of the nurses. so she kept her head down or buried in a chart.

When she got to the elevator she found a mirror in her pocket and had she been lucky that she didn't look at anyone or they would have seen most of her lipstick on her chin. She wiped it off before getting out of the elevator to see this Paul Sobriki person. She felt weird about him but maybe it was the Cafeteria food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Room 248~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Hi, Mr. Sobriki?"

"Yea um who are you?" he looked nervous and adjetated, Lucy noted it for a psyche consult if one was needed.

"I'm Lucy Knight, I'll be doing your evaluation"

"OH yea? What's that?"

"Oh, just where I see if everything is ok" He could hardly move the fall had hurt his back so her felt very sore now.

"Oh yea, well I'm in tons of pain you mind telling me what that counts for in a hospital?"

"Um, I can get you some medicine for that" she grabbed some morphiene off the shelf and injected 2 milligrams.

"Fine now someone said something about taking out my organs what's that about I like my organs they work fine in ME not anyone else!" he was very irritable and seemed to change personalities by the second. All signs of Schitzophrenia.

"Oh, that's if anything happens to you, you signed the back of your drivers licsense which makes you an organ donor."

"But, I don't want to die doc!" he pulled the covers to his neck obviously scared

"I don't think you have anything to worry about Mr. Sobriki your status looks ok to me for now" Lucy decided she had seen enough and he needed a psych consult. She needed Dr. Carter for that though.

"Hey where are you going?!" he yelled as Lucy left the room

"I'm just going to put these records down thats all"

"Hey you people leave my organs alone ya hear?! LEAVE 'EM ALONE!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Carter!" Lucy found her teacher he needed to sign for the psyche consult

"Lucy, can't you see I'm busy?" she had found him in the middle of a trauma

"Just sign your name thats all Paul Sobriki needs a psyche consult"

"Are his stats normal?"

"Yea"

"Does he or his family have a history of mental disorders?"

"No but-"

"No buts Lucy, the guy is just nervous or overwhelmed just give him some medicine and he'll be fine"

"Dr. Carter!"

"LUCY! just do it!"

"Fine forget it!"

"Thanks I will"

she left to get another opinion but unfortunately there was none. She was out of options until Carter could see Mr. Sobriki himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LATER THAT NIGHT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Paul?" Lucy asked quietly as she entered the dark exam room where he had been moved to.

thee was no answer, she only needed to check on his stats and then she would be giving Yosh his card from her. She had given everyone a card for being so helpful to her getting through her training.

She saw the light dim as the door shut. "Paul?" she couldn't find him even by the door it was too dark.

Just then she felt something jab into her back but not pierce the skin. A hand covered her mouth so she couldn't scream.

"LEAVE MY ORGANS ALONE!" he whispered into her ear as he pushed her against the wall and started to slowly cut down her neck she felt pain suddenly rip through her. After he stopped cutting she knew it couldn't be over. She was proved right when he started to rip at her with the knife which she didn't know he had obtained. She started to sob from the overwhelming pain as she fell to the floor when he had finally stopped ripping her flesh. She looked down at her body. It was strewn with blood covering her lab coat and all of her clothing was in shreds surrounding her. She couldn't make out where her flesh was or if it still covered her but just then the pain became too much and so had the blood loss so she gave in and slipped slowly into what could have been an eternal sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Lounge~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Hey Carter why were you so hard on Lucy?" Deb Chen entered the room and noticed his reaction to her request for a consult earlier.

"I don't know."

"Well you should apologize it is valentines day "

she was right, he knew it so he set out to find her

~~~~~~~~~~~Trauma 2~~~~~~~~~~~

Kerry walked in hoping to identify some good x rays while the rest of the ER enjoyed a rather quiet valentines night. She was about to find out what was going on with a cupid who fell and broke a couple ribs but the light burned out. 'Just great' she went to an exam room to find another x ray viewer. Just as she was passing one of the rooms she noticed blood on the floor when she nearly slipped on it. she nearly slipped on it afraid to open up to the room it lead to...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~INSIDE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter lay on the floor looking at Lucy's body covered in blood. her face was directed towards him for at the sound of the tray crashing that Carter had grabbed she re opened her eyes to look at him and try and smile. All he could do was cry. Cry at the pain, both from the knife and at Lucy who he assumed would never live to hear him beg her forgiveness. Just then he drifted into a state of unconciousness as he heard the door open.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Kerry fell backwards at the next sight that streamed into her eyes which were now covered in tears.

The entire ER ran over to see why Dr. Weaver had screamed and fallen. The sight of their two near favorite co-workers covered in blood mortified them all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Trauma 5~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter managed to squeeze open his eyes once and look at Lucy who had also regained her conciousness. he mouthed 'I'm sorry' to her and she smiled back at him. but suddenly she slipped back into her crashing state that was all he could remember until he woke up next with Benton in the room.

He wasn't in the trauma room anymore but in a recovery room secluded from the rest of the ER or so it seemed. It was big and dim lighted and he felt such pain when he awoke he could only moan to let Benton know he had awoken.

"Hey, you're up"

"Yea"

"Good, good How do you feel?"

"My back is killing me"

"Ok, um we'll give you some more morphine for that."

"How's Lucy?"

"Now Carter move your leg against my hand"

"Peter how is she?"

"Harder just push your foot "

"You have to tell me sooner or later"

"Don't let me push it down now"

"Lucy is dead isn't she?"

"Uh, we're not sure she'll make it through the night" he hated having to tell that to Lucy's best friend.

"Great, just great"

"She's still in surgery its too early to tell"

"It was my fault"

"Carter don't say that it wasn't your fault"

"Yea it was, she came for a psyche consult and I didn't give her one"

"So Carter you didn't pull out that knife he did"

"How could I have been so stupid all the signs were there, he was skitsophrenic!" he didn't shout it but he put his hand over his eyes trying to cover his tears of guilt.

"I'll go check on her" he left Carter so that he wouldn't see him cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OR recovery~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How is she?"

"Uh, she's ok she doesn't look good though" Dr. Romano had a low and concerned tone for a change.

"Carter wants to know about her"

"Tell him not to worry, we'll get her out of it"

"Thanks"

"Sure thing Peter, just know that I'm not dong this for you, I'm doing this for a girl in there who is going to make one hell of a doctor" he got serious and raised his tone a little bit. inside he was thinking to himself 'God I hope she makes it' Dr. Romano wasn't about to loose one of the only students that he had, who he actually thought would turn out ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks later.....

Lucy woke up the next morning with her usual pains. The new trach had been removed but when she slept she was on a respirator so she felt the tube down her throat. That pained her from the somewhat akuard position she slept in. Then there was her chest. The scars were starting to show but there were still some internal damages that the doctors thought would heal on their own. Lucy knew that in doctor language that meant 'we hope her body can heal it on its own because there isn't anything left to do'. Still she felt better reminding herself of how many tubes and monitors were hooked up to her a few days or even weeks ago. When she finally decided to open her eyes she found Carter at her bedside. He had returned to work but she found that he would spend most of his shifts in her room. Hell he even came when it wasn't his shift. He didn't lye that he had come to see Lucy when he wasn't on shift but, he did tell her that he was only checking on her stats when he would come in between traumas. She liked his company though so she pretended to go along with it. Neither of them though would bring up those 3 little words that they had exchanged some time before. They both acted as if it hadn't happened that they confesed that they thought about eachother every second of every day. During one of his visits she decided to change that. She had to know if he still felt that way about her because, she sure as hell still loved him.

"Hey Carter," she had gone back to calling him that since he had left recovery, "do you remember what you said to me that morning after I was in the trauma room?"

He thought for a minute though he knew he didn't have to. He still thought about those words every day.

"Yea" he took his consentration off of Lucy and to anywhere else possible.

she looked hopeful at her question

"Lucy, I uh- I have to go now"

"Wait! John," she called him John now. that made him stop in his tracks "answer me" she begged him with her eyes.

"I don't know Lucy"

"Oh"

"I mean you are my student and I'm not supposed to share that kind of feeling with you remember?"

"Yea..." she stopped then started again with a new attitude " So its ok though to lead me on while I'm laying here nearly dying? Besides you were the one who proposed to me remember?"

"Yea well you turned me down remember?"

"I don't want to get married John I want to be with you though. You didn't want that" she pointed out

"I don't understand you John, first you want to spend the rest of your life with me then you don't even want to say I love you to me not even as a friend. Well I love you John just maybe you've forgotten that" she turned over not wanting to show him that she was crying. The man of her dreams had ripped her heart out. Something Paul Sobriki wanted to do. Now Carter was finishing his job. When he walked out he meekly but audibly said "I love you too Lucy"

but when she turned around he was out of the doorway. She smiled to herself. 'Maybe I still have my heart after all'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ER Trauma 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Carter we need you!" Mark called out as a gurney carrying a child rushed into the ER doors.

"What've we got?" he asked chasing to the gurney. He didn't want a trauma right now but he had to get Lucy off of his mind then. He knew she was right, first he wanted to be with her for life then he didn't have the heart to love her as a friend at the very least.

"GSW right upper chest and lower left abdomen possible fracture to the right femur, left radius and ulna, and left fibula 25 percent 2 degree burns scattered on the body. unknown cause BP is 150/65 pulse ox is 70.5 on 0% BPM is 40"

"OK, we've got it from here" Carter was ready to take charge and after his accident Mark thought he'd give him a shot at it. "On my count 1...2...3. LIFT!" he struggled slightly to lift the body when he felt a shooting pain in his back.

"You ok Carter?"

"Yea, fine' he winced a little but returned to his job trying to save a life.

"OK, he's going into v-tach lets get someone to intubate him!" Carter instructed. He couldn't do it though because his crutches might get in the way.

"Give 4 of atopine and 8 of haldol and hyphemine"

"Hyphemine Carter he's hypertensive" Mark questioned

"Yea but check his BP its off the charts he's going to have a heart attack if we don't calm him down" he pointed to the monitor

"Good catch Carter" Mark said while trying to run an IV line.

"Thanks" Carter was trying to inject the hyphemine when something unusual happened. The child started to seize for some odd reason. "WHOA! HE'S SEIZING!" Carter tried to hold down the body but his crutches didn't allow it. He backed away. While he was letting someone take care of holding the body from serious damage he examined the liquid brought into the needle. "Hepamine" it read. Carter knew that hepamine and the atropine had acted strange together causing electricity in the brain which causes a seizure. "Who brought in the hyphemine?" he questioned over the noise.

"I did" a young nurse from the ICU came down to help.

"That wasn't hyphemine it was Hepamine" he answered

"WHAT?!" mark said in an angry voice

"Yea, the atropine is still in the system now with 6 milligrams of hepamine" he showed mark the label

"Jesus christ the kid is gonna go into v tach!"

"I'll charge the paddles to 200" The ICU nurse obviously wanted to fix her mistake

"Ok" Carter approved of her decision. 'At least she can do something right'

"V Tach" Haleh commented

"Ok where are those paddles?" Carter looked at the nurse

"Here charged at 200"

"Ok clear!"

nothing

"Charge,....Clear!"

nothing

"Charge to 300, clear!"

beep, beep beep beep.

"Ok, we have a rythm"

"Let's get him up the OR" Carter said

"Ok I'll order some tests and nice save Carter the kid owes you his life"

That happened nearly every day, someone owing Carter their life but this time it seemed like it made a difference.

"I'll be upstairs"

he knew what he had to do. He was thinking of Lucy the entire trauma and he wanted her to know that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucy's room~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Hi"

"Hey" she didn't bother to sit up this time when she saw him. She wasn't expecting a long talk just a few words from him and then he'd leave.

"Look Lucy about before, I do love you and maybe we could be together just that no marriage no nothing just us" he truly wanted more than that but he wouldn't push his luck

"Ok, I'd like that" she smiled now sitting up.

"Great" he leaned in and kissed her. She missed that. he had a touch about him just something he had, whenever he touched her with his hands or his lips she felt comfortable. Nothing in the world could pain her.

"I have some good news too" she smiled

"What?" he asked hoping she would be leaving the hospital soon.

"I'm being discharged today!"

"Wow Luce that's fantastic!" he hugged her

"That's not all of it" she pulled away

"What's the other part?" nothing could bring down his mood now except............

"Carter, I-" she didn't know how to tell him so she took his hand and put it on her stomach

"Wait a minute..." the smile dropped from his face

"Yea" she said in a quiet voice. She too was not expecting this.

"Oh G0d" he ran his fingers through his hair trying to think of what just happened.

"Carter, what do I do?" she was very nervous he could tell. But how would he solve this problem?

"I don't know"

"I'll just tell everyone that my boyfriend got me pregnant thats all"

"They're gonna wanna know who he is"

"I don't know Dale?"

"Lucy! that's terrible"

"Well sorry Carter I'm running out of ideas here."

"You're sure you want to go through the pregnancy?"

"No, but I don't want to abort it"

"I know"

"It's fine after the pregnancy I'm going to give the baby to a good family that's all"

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"I mean you're not going to make up some story. Luce, lets just tell everyone"

"Carter! Are you nuts?"

"No but I don't want you to have to lie about that"

"Ok lets just say for one minute that I followed your career suicide plan here, ok?"

"Call it what you will but ok"

"Now, how long do you think it would take the entire ER to start gossiping about us?"

"5 minutes"

"Ok you're in some touch with reality here but how long also would it take for both of us to loose our jobs?"

"I'm not sure but I'm not thinking about that now"

"Well you should"

"Why?"

"All the reasons above for a start"

"OK I've thought about that and I still think we should tell everyone"

"What about if I want to raise a kid!?" she yelled

He couldn't even say anything. The whole time he hadn't asked her if she wanted to carry through in raising a child.

"What about what I want?"

"You're right" he said in a whisper "What do you want?"

"I want so much for this to not have happened. But it did. And I'm going to have an abortion"

That shocked him. Lucy, the woman who always believed in preserving life was telling him she wanted to terminate her pregnancy.

"Ok, this is your decision so....do what you have to do" he got up and left. He did want that kid. He wanted to have a son or daughter to come home to. He was not getting younger and he wanted to have a kid before he was 40 (Though he was still 29).

~~~~~~~~~~~~5 hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So Dr. Carter you will be taking Lucy home?"

"Uh, yea"

"Ok, just fill out these forms and shell be down from ob in a few minutes"

"Ok" he grabbed the forms and headed over to chairs. Lucy had planned on the surgery and Abby was willing to help without telling everyone who her patient was. A few minutes later Lucy came down in a wheel chair. She looked well rested and ready to go.

"Ready?" he asked her as he came towards her wheelchair.

"Yea, lets get outta here" she smiled and wheeled herself to the elevator to get out at the ER where her car was. Carter matched her pace and when they got out of the elevator decided he was going to push her.

"Lucy! we're gonna miss you for a while huh?" Lydia was glad Lucy was feeling better but would miss being able to talk to her whenever she felt like it.

"Yea, well I have to get out of this prison some time!" she joked

That was followed with various goodbye and see you soon comments.

"Take care of her Carter!" was the one though that stuck out the most to both of them. She knew he would and he knew he would, just not the way that everyone thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carter's Car~~~~~~~~~~

"We'll pick up your car tomorrow"

"Ok sounds good to me"

"I'm so happy you're coming home"

"Me too John me too" The past few weeks they hadn't been with eachother and not just because of the stabbing but because of the Valentines day events. They had decided that Lucy was going to get a new teacher in the ER which she was sure could work out with Kerry and Mark since she was starting her new rotation next week and she hadn't started with Carter again.

"John, I'm sorry about Valentines Day" A look of sadness crossed his face

"It wasn't your fault Lucy"

"Not that, I mean that morning"

"Oh"

"I didn't want to hurt you but, I just well I told you why I couldn't"

"Yea, and that's fine Luce"

"Really?"

"Yea, don't rush into it if you don't want to" She finally felt comfortable with a man again. Dale hadn't treated her well hell he could have raped her if she hadn't gotten out of that relationship fast, and Paul wasn't great company either. She finally felt ok being with a man. Or so she thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carter's place~~~~~~~~~~~

Late that night Lucy was awake in Carters arms but he was sound asleep and smiling. She for some reason felt scared. Being alone with a man in the dark was something that she hadn't thought would bother her until it happened again. She started to panic to herself. She had to get out. She pulled herself away from Carter and got dressed. She was able to walk and she could drive. But what would she drive? She decided Carter would understand and she took his car. She left a note.

"John,

Don't worry about your car I have it. I panicked last night but I didn't know why. Call me and we'll talk

Love,

Lucy"

...........

When Carter woke up the next morning he discovered Lucy and her clothes missing. He soon discovered her note. He dialed Lucy's number and waited for her to answer. When all he heard was the machine he left a message:

"Hey Lucy, its Carter, Um, I just wanted to check in on you make sure you're ok, um...... You left in a hurry so I didn't know what was wrong. Call me bye" He hadn't been known to leave the best messages.

He tried an hour later and still no answer. He decided to drive over there. Since he remembered he couldn't he called for a cab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucy's apartment~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucy curled up in her blankets. She wanted to be alone and she knew she was but she still felt scared. She wanted someone near her but not a man. She couldn't figure out why. She was crying now thinking so many things. 'What's wrong with me?' she asked herself repeatedly. 'Why did I run away this morning, I mean I trust him! He'd never hurt me' She heard a knock at her door and was afraid to answer. She was about to let whoever was there believe that she wasn't home until she heard the voice.

"Luce, its me" Carter! she recognized his voice instantly. She got up from the comfort of her warm bed and walked over to the door. When she opened it Carter saw her tear stricken face in the small opening. When she saw him she opened the door wider and ran into his arms. She immediately started to sob. He held her and helped make their way inside and shut the door. When they sat down in the living room he took off his coat and hung it up. She looked comfortable. She was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants which were too long on her ( they were obviously his) and a fuzzy red sweater that was a little short showing her stomach a little. She curled herself up and tried to wipe the tears off of her face. But the more she tried to hide the heavier the tears seemed to fall. He walked over to her and sat down next to her not getting too close as not to scare her. She appreciated his carefulness but she wanted to be by him. He recognized that and took her into his arms. !

He let her sit there and let her tears subside while he stroked her cheek and kissed her head. She liked being able to just let everything go and he would understand. He understood what she had been going through. But through all of it he was so brave. He didn't shed one tear the whole 1/2 hour she sat there crying. Finally she asked aloud,

"what's wrong with me John?" The question struck him like lightning. How could there be anything wrong with her? She was perfect in his eyes.

"Nothing don't even think it"

"Then why did I run away today?"

"I don't know but maybe you were scared"

"Of what? John I had no reason to be scared I was with you" It made him feel good to know that she felt safe when she was with him. But he knew what she was scared of. It was as if he could read her mind.

"What about being alone with someone?"

She could say nothing. She knew that was it but she didn't want to be scared around him. She wanted to prove it to him and most importantly to herself, that she could do that. She turned around and kissed him.

"I'm not scared" she said in a whisper while he just held her. He just kissed her in reply.

"Come on," she said she got up and pulled at his hand. She walked into her bedroom and laid on her bed with her head on a pillow. She seemed comfortable. They just laid together. They held eachother each forgetting their own problems. She fell asleep in his arms. 'This is how it should be' She thought to herself. Carter could only think of how he would never let anyone else hurt Lucy. He hated seeing her upset and he never wanted that again. 'I'll protect her' He promised himself as he fell asleep........

~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter woke up the next morning not feeling himself, he felt happy for some odd reason. Not that he was depressed but, he never liked getting up in the morning just to go to work. It occurred to him though that he woke up next to Lucy (DUH! lol) He saw her sleeping there in his arms with a soft smile on her lips and her eyes closed gently. He gently woke her so that he could say goodbye and go to work. It felt weird to him to be doing that. It was as if he were her husband. That was not his intent. in fact he was trying not to think of it that way. When she woke up she woke up too with a smile.

"Good morning" she said her voice cracked from not having spoken for a while. She reached up and touched he cheek with her hand.

"G'morning" He turned into a more comfortable position to look at her. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Work today?" She had read his mind

"Yea, but I'll be back early"

"Ok, go get ready" she got up herself. "I'll make you some breakfast or something."

"Coffee is fine"

"Got it" when she got up she looked at herself and noticed the scars on her neck were paining her a little. she reached up and pressured them with her hand wincing a little at the sharp pain.

"You ok?" he asked looking slightly concerned.

"Yea...fine"

"Ok" he got up and went to the shower.

"I'd give you some company but I think you're in enough of a hurry" she pointed to the clock.

"Oh shit!" he was on in 45 minutes and he had to shower and dress in time.

"Don't worry you'll make it. If you're late just tell them you stopped by to check on me"

"You're pretty good at this lying stuff aren't you?" he laughed

"No, you're just easy to lye to" she laughed back.

`````````````````````````````````````````

"See ya Luce!"

"Bye" he took a thermus of coffee and left in a hurry. She on the other hand had turned on the tub and was ready to just relax today. She would go to blockbuster and the food store and just be a couch potato or give herself of facial or something like that. At least that was her plan. Lucy wasn't too good at sticking to her plans. Odds were that she would go and get a movie and that would be it. Maybe not even that.

When Lucy got into the bath tub it was filled high with bubbles. She hadn't intended on them being that high but when she got in she realized they covered up her stinging sutures. She wanted to forget about the 'incident' and get on with her life as if it never happened. That would be pretty hard since she would have PT 4 days a week for 3 months. She tried to enjoy her brief period of relaxation that she had tried to set aside for herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CCGH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Carter! How's Lucy is she settled in at home?"

"Yea I went by to check on her this morning"

"Ok, And John if she needs anything tell her to call" Kerry Weaver went to her locker to go home from her graveyard shift.

"Ok, Kerry"

"Have a good day John"

"Thanks" He went to his locker to begin his shift. He put on his lab coat again, for another routine day. Get the traumas, save a few, lose a few, treat 'em and street 'em type of day. That was his job. That was the job description in plain simple English. Except now, he saw it differently. He saw it as trying to help people get something they don't have when they come into the ER. Their health. John Carter had a new aspect on life and it was all thanks to the one true survivor in his life. Lucy Knight.

~~~~~~~~~~~PT~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, Dr. Carter, you've been keeping up with your meds?"

"Yea, 2 pills a day"

"Ok, I'm going to lower it to 1 a day since you seem to be coming a long nicely"

"OK"

"How's the pain been besides that? any trouble walking, showering, running or anything?"

"No not really "

"Ok, then that's it for today, I'll see you in 2 days on Wednesday"

"Fine"

"Good bye Dr. Carter"

"Goodbye Dr. Berks"

Carter never really spoke more than one word answers when someone brought up anything having to do with the stabbing. Especially when his physical therapist would talk about the effects it should have on him physically. He didn't need to see the counselor anymore, he didn't want to anyway. He felt he was doing fine without a shrink. He wouldn't let anyone else tell him different though many people would have. His Grandmother, or Gamma, had been bugging him to come back home again, but he would refuse every single time. She just didn't get that a man at age 29 should live on his own. Then she would point out that a man at 29 should also have a wife and maybe a child or two. That was a good point he had to admit but he had spent a lot of time in med school. That took away from time in the dating field. But he had Lucy now. He just wasn't ready to tell everyone that he was dating his med student. He decided to talk to Mark about her having another teacher. He woul!

d talk to Lucy about that first off though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Lounge~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Luce, its me"

"Hi"

"How's it going?"

"Good, what's going on?"

"Oh nothing I just needed to talk to you about something."

"Shoot"

"Ok, Lucy I want to take us, farther."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean get you another teacher to finish up with"

"Carter what are you talking about?"

"I mean I want to tell everyone I found you"

"Um, wow....that's.....that's....great"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing its just that I thought you wanted to keep things quiet, its a big shock...." there was silence

"Luce?"

"Yea,?" she was crying. But she was happy. Not sad.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing John. I'll come in so we can talk to Mark"

"OK, I'll see you in an hour?"

"Yea meet me in the lounge"

"Ok"

"John?"

"Yea Luce,?"

"I love you"

"I love you too" they hung up.

"Who's the girl Carter?" He turned around to find Dr. Dave Mallucci.

"You'll see."

Dave just smiled and made a short snickering laugh.

"See ya Carter"

"Yea see ya Dave"

Carter walked out hoping that Dave hadn't heard too much. Had he heard him call her Luce? He hoped not but he didn't give any sign of hearing so he imagined he only walked in to hear 'I love you.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 Hr. Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Hey, you ready to do this?" She came in dressed in something she would wear to work. A nice pair of pants and a cream turtle neck tank top sweater. She was pretty comfortable. She also managed to cover the scars and sutures which would be removed next week.

"Yea, lets go" he grabbed her hand as they walked into the ER. The staff saw them but assumed that he was helping her walk a little bit. But, she hadn't hurt her back. 'Strange' was all that went through their minds, and Lucy's when he didn't even bother to cover their link. They went into Mark's office with the staff watching them. Neither of them cared they were smiling and not paying attention to any of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marks office~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ok, Carter what'd you guys want to talk about?" Mark slapped some files into a folder and slopped into a chair. He was exhausted from his late shifts.

"Dr. Carter and I want to know if I could finish up the rest of my rotation, with a new teacher"

"Why? You 2 work great together"

"Well, its just that we work more than outside the ER" he added in.

"What are you two getting at here?" he was not in the mood to hear any cover ups. Lucy looked at him and smiled.

"Dr. Carter and I, um-"

"We have feelings for each other" he made it quick and painless or so he hoped. Mark just sat there and laughed.

"What's so funny Dr. Green?"

"I'm sorry- its just-" he couldn't stop laughing "I knew this would happen sooner or later and you two figure it out after you nearly die?!"

"not really" Mark stopped laughing.

"Sorry that wasn't right but still I mean, the whole ER thought this meeting would come sooner"

"No its fine its just that we, well we've been seeing eachother for a while now" Lucy decided to talk now.

"Uh oh guys this isn't good news" he was serious now.

"We know but Dr. Green please don't tell the board. Lucy's evaluations have been totally based on her work not anything else"

"Carter, I- I'm sure it has but legally, I'm supposed to tell the board now that you've told me"

"Well I figure maybe you could give me the tests again this week if I can come in, and you can evaluate me again if you want to" Lucy was obviously willing to compromise both their careers.

"Ok, here's how it goes. You didn't tell me that you've been seeing eachother before but I will re evaluate you Lucy and I will be your teacher for the finishing of the rotation until your graduation in June clear?"

"Yea, thank you Dr. Green"

"Yea, we really appreciate this"

"Ok, now that this is settled, off the record again, how serious have you 2 been?"

"Well I kind of proposed to Lucy on valentines day"

"Wow, nice timing Carter"

"Yea, except-" he was cut off by very surprising words

"I accepted" Lucy finished with a smile.

"You what?" Dr. Green questioned

"Yea, you what?" Carter replied also questioning.

"I said I accepted his proposal. John and I are engaged to be married" she grabbed his hand. All he could do was sit in absolute shock.

"Congradulations"

"Thank you Dr. Green I'm sure Carter feels the same way" she looked at him and they both started to laugh as he sat there staring into space with an open mouth smile.

"Ok, John you're scaring me" she lightly smacked his face.

"I'm sorry did I just miss something here?"

"No, you're getting married" she added sarcastically

"To who again?"

"ME!"

"Oh yea that's right" he joked.

"I've got patients to see. I'll leave you two alone" When he left Lucy leaned over and kissed Carter.

"wait so did we get engaged today or valentines day?"

"I don't know, I haven't been wearing a ring so I guess today" she looked at her empty hand and looked up at him.

"Well you're not wearing a ring now"

"Then go get it"

"Hold on I have the perfect way to do this" he grabbed her hand and walked out into the ER after he ran out of the lounge.

"HEY!" Carter yelled as he jumped onto the desk. It hurt but he didn't feel the pain.

"what the hell Carter are you mad?" Jerry yelled

"Yea, mad about someone here" The ER grew quiet. There were no traumas so everyone was down there. Abby had just come down in an elevator when she hear Lucy was here. But when she got down there she found it to be very, very quiet. too quiet.

"What's going on?" she asked Luka.

"Hold on you'll see" he said pointing to Carter on the desk.

"Now I know you all have been betting on me and Lucy, I've heard you one too many times talking about your little pools and all that." everyone giggled. "So here is the closure to your bets" he jumped down from the desk. still in pain he walked as normally as possible over to Lucy. "Lucy," he said it loud enough for everyone to hear

"You mean so much to me but," the ER started to whisper but got quiet at the word but. Even Lucy was in suspense. She couldn't tell if she was getting engaged or dumped.

"Well keep talking dumb ass!" someone shouted and everyone laughed even him.

"Well um, Lucy you mean so much to me but I want to tell everyone that you mean the world to me. I couldn't have gotten through the last few weeks without you . I want to wake up every morning and see you next to me. Maybe start a family one day I don't know but, G-d Lucy, I just want to be with you forever. I don't know how you do it but you always manage to drive me crazy." he laughed "So crazy that, you made me fall in love with you" she was crying now. He got down on one knee. The pain soaring through his back and legs. "Lucy Ann Knight, please say you'll marry me, or I've just made a total fool of myself in front of the entire ER" everyone laughed at that as well.

"Yea, John I will marry you" she said quickly. He slipped on the ring that he had struggled to get out of his pocket. he stood up and kissed her. he lifted her up and the entire ER erupted in applause. When they walked into the lounge to go home for the end of his shift, Lucy couldn't go 3 feet without being asked to see the ring.

"Oh g-d its beautiful!" everyone shouted. They were right. Lucy couldn't stop looking at it. It wasn't the diamonds or the gold that made her look at it. It was who it was from. She was going to spend the rest of her life with the man she had dreamed about since she laid eyes on him. And now everyone knew. They walked out of the ER treated like celebrities. No one took their eyes off of them. They looked so happy together. He had his arm around her shoulder and her head on his shoulder.

"We did it" she finally said.

"Yea. When's the date?"

"I've got the perfect one"

"Oh yea what's that?"

"Valentine's day 2002"

"I like it"

and with that they went home...............Their official home.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lucy and Carter decided to walk home that night. Neither of them wanted to have to concentrate on something else besides the other. They couldn't stop thinking of eachother. Now everyone knew they were in love. This day couldn't have gotten any better. They looked like the average couple. Holding hands, smiling, a look in their eyes where you could tell they were thinking of eachother. That was the way they were until they got into Carter's apartment building, they couldn't keep their hands off of eachother. By the time they got to his door, they found it hard to be kissing and open a door at the same time. Lucy was happy again. She loved that feeling. She loved him. Life couldn't get any better. When they got inside finally, the phone was ringing. 'Who cares, let the machine get it' But when he heard the voice on the machine and its message, he had to pick up.

"John, get on the phone! I know you're home!" his Gamma yelled into the phone. That ruined it. They pulled apart. "I've got to get this Luce"

"I understand go ahead." she kissed him quickly while he reached for his phone.

"Hey gamma" he tried to sound excited she had called

"John what's this I hear about you and some girl getting married?"

"Where'd you hear that?"

"When I called the hospital to see if you could stop by tomorrow for a dinner I had a very talkative Jerry or some sort, tell me you had proposed to your medical student in front of the entire Emergency department!"

"Oh"

"Is that all you have to say?"

"No"

"Well then talk I figured you could at least tell me who she is"

"My medical student or former med student, Lucy"

"I don't know a 'Lucy' Who's daughter is she?"

"No one you know"

"Well where does she come from?"

"Africa gamma."

"Really?"

"Yes, she is a wild untamed tiger trainer in Africa"

His grandmother finally caught onto his sarcasm.

"John stop it, now tell me really where is she from?"

"Gamma she's from Chicago"

"Good"

"That's ok with you?" this was a surprise, his grandmother usually didn't like too many people from the city. She only liked 'money' people is how she would put it.

"Yes, its a hell of a lot better than Africa!" she laughed.

"Yea well.."

"John, we'd love to meet her! you 2 can come by tomorrow for dinner around 7:30 but it wont be at the house. It's going to be at the Four Seasons up by you"

"Why exactly?"

"Because that's where we're holding our family reunion. Don't you remember?" He didn't until he thought of it. He hated these things but this time he grandmother had personally had Kerry clear his schedule so he had no excuse to get out of it.

"Oh, yea sure but Gamma you know I hate these black tie things"

"John its for a few hours you just have to wear a tuxedo like all the other men"

"Fine Gamma, I guess I'll have to"

"Yes, now why don't you send Lucy over to us so we can go dress shopping! its all on us your mother would be thrilled" He wasn't ready to subject Lucy to such torture.

"Uh Gamma I don't know if she can"

"Well why not? besides Your sister will be there. I'm sure those two would be fine together." She was right, Ally had a way that made most people feel comfortable around his grandparents. She was around the same age as Lucy, and she was Lucy's kind of person. relaxed, calm, cool, funny....yea they'd be great together.

"Let me ask her hold on" he put the phone on hold. "Hey Luce, there's this dinner tomorrow at the seasons hotel or something like that," he was classy mind you he just didn't try to remember these things and he was pretty tired.

"The four seasons?" she finished.

"Yea, um my grandma wants to know if you and my sister Ally wanted to go 'dress shopping' tomorrow with her and my mom. They want to get to know you"

"John I'm not too good with parents." she looked worried

"Don't worry my mom isn't that hard to impress besides you'll like Ally"

"sure why not?" she would do this if it made him happy.

"Ok, don't worry at dinner I'll be there it wont be too terrible" he laughed before pushing down the hold button.

"She'd love to"

"Oh great! drop her off at the house around 1:00 ish, we'll have a beauty day for the girls"

"Ok, see you tomorrow gamma"

"Bye John! oh and Congradulations I'm sure we'll love her if you do"

"Thanks Gamma good bye"

He hung up. At least his Gamma was understanding. John thought that she wouldn't be too thrilled with the fact that Lucy's family wasn't as rich as his family. He hated their money though. They used it too much to show off. He liked having to work for his living. Though work was a pain in the ass, he enjoyed depending on himself and not the stock market. It made him feel like he was capable of it. His grandparents and other family members wouldn't dream of working his hours.

"So, what's tomorrow going to be like?" she came over to John and put her hands around his waist.

"Not too bad. Ally is like you a little"

"Is that good or bad?" she laughed

"Definately good" he kissed her.

"Come on, lets go to bed. We have a long day ahead of us, and only....." she looked at her watch "well its 12:30 now so we have about 6 hours of sleep until noon"

"And what do we do with the extra time?" he knew, he just liked to hear her reaction to the question.

"If you have to ask, you might not find out" she walked to the bedroom knowing he was no more than 3 inches behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~12:30 pm next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Come on Luce!" he yelled across the apartment.

"Ok, ok, ok I'm coming" she walked out of the bathroom from doing her makeup and hair for about 20 minutes. Lucy knew that Carter's family approved of nothing less than perfect. So out she came with a pink shirt on and a black 3/4 length skirt. Her hair was kept neatly in a bun and she had done the makeup lightly or so it looked.

"Wow, nice outfit, how come you never dress like that for me?" he laughed.

"You're too easy to impress" she joked back

"Ouch" he grabbed her coat for her and helped her to put it on.

"Lets go" she sounded somewhat enthusiastic though they both knew it would be a long day for each of them. He had to go tux shopping with his grandfather, father and uncle. Lucy would have it easier being with Carter's mom, grandma, sister, and aunt. The more the merrier it seemed. He knew though that weather or not his family liked her, he would always love her. He didn't care too much about how today went for him as much as having her enjoy it. His mother, he KNEW wouldn't like Lucy very much since she wasn't a beauty or money fanatic. Lucy never over did it. She knew when was enough. The makeup the spending, beauty products the whole thing. She was a down to earth type who knew her limits and appreciated how far they went even if they were at a minimum.

"Ok, here goes nothing" he said as he shut the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Carter estate~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"John how lovely to see you" his aunt came down the stairs dressed somewhat like Lucy. Lucy felt comfortable knowing she hadn't over or under-dressed.

"You too" there was the usual hug and 'club' kiss. Something only the rich did like in any movie.

"And this must be Lucy" she looked Lucy over with a smile. The day was already starting out well. It wasn't a fake smile. That was how it seemed to Carter. He knew a fake from a real smile. He had grown up seeing many of the fake ones directed to him when his family heard he was going to work in the ER and not be some famous surgeon or cardiologist or something.

"Yea here she is" He hoped Lucy wouldn't mind all the attention she would get. Lucy liked to keep a low profile when she was nervous. But right now she looked calmer than he had seen her for a while. Unless she was with him.

"Nice to meet you dear"

"Likewise" Lucy replied with a smile.

"Hello John" came a stern voice.

"Hello Uncle Truman" John replied in a somewhat similar tone.

"Lucy right?" he wasn't so formal as his wife.

"Mind your manners Truman" she snapped. he waved a hand at her.

"Ally will be down shortly. " Came a friendly old and frail voice. Obviously it was 'Gamma' the woman Lucy had heard about so often. "Hello John, and its so wonderful to finally meet you Lucy" she was friendly. More than Carter had expected.

"The pleasures all mine"

"Hey Johnny!" came a younger voice

"Alls!" John went and hugged the gangly figure in the stairway. His sister.

"I want you to meet the love of my life, Lucy" Lucy hadn't heard him talk that way before. 'The love of his life' she liked it.

"Hey Lucy I'm Ally" the girl was no older than Lucy maybe 1 or 2 years younger. She held out a hand.

"Well John, its been a long time hasn't it?" Johns father called with his grandfather by his side.

"Hi dad" Carter looked at the old man "Grandpa," The man gave John a look. Not icy but obviously not too friendly. "Hello John. Nice to see you again"

"Grandpa this is Lucy"

"Hello Lucy"

"Hello"

"Well, are we goin' girls or are we standing here all day?" Ally was a loose kind of girl. Lucy perceived. Much more relaxing than the other women. Though they were friendly. Lucy would find that first impressions were false in this family.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michael Bergin's (clothes store for women)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh Lucy, this is so ausome! you have got to try it on!" Ally held up a black dress that seemed to have some appeal to Lucy.

"yea but look at the price" she looked at the tag which read $2,500

"Oh come on Gamma will do anything to show off her money. " That was true. Though the woman had good taste she also had expensive tastes. Something Lucy was unacustomed to.

"Ok fine. But you have got to try on this one" Lucy pulled out a purple dress that flowed in different shades towards the bottom. It would suit Ally's hair. A dark brown with blond highlights.

"Deal" both women dashed into the dressing rooms. But when Lucy put on the dress she noticed something. The dress was perfect. It bared her shoulders and the lower part of her neck and down towards her chest. It fell snugly around her waist and to the floor accentuating her figure. The only problem was that it showed her neck. The scars glared back at Lucy as if trying to remind her of valentines day. she shivered.

"Lucy, come on out"

"I don't know"

"Is it too tight?"

"No its fine"

"Well then what is it?" she asked as she walked into the dressing room. She saw Lucy's scars with a questioned look.

"I guess John gets to hide his much more easily"

"Scars? From what?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"No one but my mom has been able to talk to me for the past 6 months I was in Europe for school why? what happened?"

"On valentines day," Lucy started to remember everything in the dark. The room suddenly got small though it was quite spacious. She went on.

"A patient of John's and mine stabbed us both" Ally covered her mouth in horror.

"John, in the back, me on my neck down through my chest" she pointed to the scar out to herself in the mirror.

"Oh G0d. No one told me"

"I'm sorry I had to tell you. It's just I don't know if I could go out there and show everyone these scars."

"Don't worry they'll understand. Just let them see it on you. Gamma probably knows about it."

"She does but I don't think she knows John and I were stabbed together."

"Come on Lucy, if we like it I have some body makeup you could use it would cover it right up"

"Ok, lets go see" they opened up the dressing room door and went to the mirror. First Ally showed off her dress. Then it was Lucy's turn. Ally had found a dress she liked. but she had one more she liked too. 'They wont mind' she told herself as Ally had told her. But when she stepped out only 'Gamma' wasn't surprised by the scars.

"Oh Lucy, where did you get those awful marks?" Carter's mother asked for both her and her sister.

"Um, its not important what do you think of the dress?" Ally tried to distract her mother and aunt from the marks. She was sorry she had led Lucy to believe her mother would accept a mark on the body anything less than perfect.

"The dress is gorgeous Lucy" Gamma had added. She was right. It was almost perfect for Lucy. But Gamma had found one last dress that Lucy had fallen in love with (aside from John).

"Thank you"

"But dear, where did you get those scars?" the aunt questioned again for the two of them.

"I was stabbed" she said boldly. She was proud to live to tell the tale.

"I'm so sorry dear" The mother looked truly sympathetic. Lucy hated it. She hated being looked down on.

"Well I'm over it"

"No I mean how can you live with something like that? those marks will be there forever wont they?" That did it. Lucy was not going to exclaim that though. Ally would.

"Mom, don't you have any common sense?" she finally stood up to her.

"I beg your pardon"

"You should beg pardon of Lucy. How about trying to say 'I'm glad you survived'? she is very lucky mom. She endured more pain than you have ever felt. And no breaking a nail doesn't count here"

Her mother watched in false shock.

"Ally, I have raised you to be more respectful of you parents and elders. Why this?"

"Because I'm finally realizing that you raised me wrong At least John turned out well. He's a doctor and for your information mom, he was stabbed too" Ally stormed off with Lucy.

"I'm so sorry Lucy she shouldn't have said that"

"It's ok, thanks for saying that for me. I think you're the first person who hasn't felt sorry for me" she laughed through some of her tears.

"Well you must be pretty amazing to have gone through something like that and steal my bros, heart" she laughed too.

"I'm going to try on one last dress. Your grandmother picked it out and it's gorgeous. you have to try another one of it on!" she put on a smile trying to brighten the day.

"Ok"

When Lucy and Ally came out again, gamma was the only one talking now. Mrs. Carter and her sister kept silent, just looking at the two girls.

"Oh my goodness you two look gorgeous." Gamma clapped her hands together and smiled.

"Thanks but I think I like the purple one better on me Lucy looks great in pink" She was right. Lucy looked stunning in the pink strapless dress that fell down in a puffy cloud. The silk like material was a pearly pink where a darker shade came down the center. It trained behind her for a few inches. She looked beautiful. A touch of body makeup and she wouldn't see those scars again for the evening. She finally wore something that reminded her she had a great figure.

"I love the pink on you Lucy I have to agree with Ally" Lucy accepted the compliment but turned to the other 2 women for approval.

"It suits you well"

"Yes it does" both women said but obviously putting on a poor act. The day was ruined. Lucy, Ally, and Gamma would spend the rest of the day together while the other two went on a beauty craze as Millicent would call it. The rest of the day the three women spent at a spa having massages, facials, and makeup makeovers. Lucy was now enjoying her time. She loved these two Carters. It was the other women of the family that didn't like her and vise versa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Spa~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lucy, John tells me that you enjoy theatre"

"Yes, when I was younger my mother used to take me almost every weekend to see a new play"

"That sounds lovely dear. What about your father? I haven't heard much of him from you "

"I never knew my father he left my mom and I when I was born"

"Oh I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought up the subject"

"No its fine"

"Well we really should go get ready, we have to be at the hotel in less than 2 hours." She was right. It would take a while to put on the dresses without ruining their makeup and hair.

"Lets just go to the hotel Gamma, we can change in a room or something"

"Great idea Ally, I'll call your mother and tell her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4 Seasons~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Come on Lucy lets see how it looks, if you want the body makeup to be dry when we get down there we have to do it now" Ally called from the other room.

"Ok, here goes" Lucy came out of the room. She was gorgeous. Her blond hair looked great in the way it had been put up. The makeup was subtle. It looked natural and brought out her eyes. They looked like an ice blue crystal against the dress.

"And one more piece to complete it. Not that you'd need it" Gamma joked. She pulled out a large but thin velvet box.

"What's this?" both girls asked.

"It's a family heirloom that I've kept for a while. John has the other pieces from his mother."

"What about me?!" Ally questioned a jokingly serious expression on her face.

"Oh hush! This is Lucy's night for the family. You'll get your turn when you stop traveling 3000 miles every time a good man comes along!"

"Not fair!" she laughed waving a hand indicating she was dropping the subject.

"Now Lucy, since you are going to be part of our family soon, I would like you to have this. It came from my grandmother. It came from France where she was born" She opened the box to reveal a white diamond necklace. It was on a thick silver chain with small diamond studs around it and one large one in the center shaped like a heart.

"Oh my goodness its beautiful!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Well here let me help you put it on. Is that alright?"

"Yes that'd be great" Millicent Carter locked the necklace onto Lucy's neck and came around to see how it looked.

"You look magnificent in it"

"Thank you" the two women shared a brief hug before Ally pointed out they had 5 minutes to get down there. The women grabbed their purses, and shawls each of them a sheer color to match each dress, and they took off. While Lucy was walking she wondered how John was doing........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lobby~~~~~~~~~~~~

"John will you stop pacing like that? She's fine your grandmother took wonderful care of her I'm sure"

"Mom, what exactly did you say to her that upset her?"

"Oh John calm down, she's probably gotten over it" Mrs. Carter seemed unaware that sometimes things you say leave a lasting impression. Mrs. Carter was generally a good woman, she had manners she had confidence. But sometimes her confidence and pride mixed together too well.

"Mom, I hope you're right because I want this to be perfect for Lucy"

"And I'm sure it will be"

"Besides John, your mother said nothing that should have offended her" his aunt defended. The rest of the men sat quietly. They hadn't said one word. They were all calm except for John.

"Here they are" Johns grandfather stood up when he saw his wife turn the corner with two other women. One of them though, the blond he didn't recognize until he though of Lucy from this morning. John was pretty calm and collected (so I understated that) until he saw Lucy. She was a dream. He stood there in shock. 'Wow' was all he could say to himself. Lucy walked up to him. She was slightly taller due to a pair of 2 inch heals. "Hey, look at you" she was calm surprisingly.

"Yea well this is a one time thing don't expect it too often" he joked finally finding the right words to say to her. "You look,....... amazing"

"Thank you, you have no idea how long it took me to look like this" she joked back. "Ready to go in there?" he held out his arm. She grabbed it "Yea, lets go" she had a smile on her face the whole time though inside she was panicking like crazy. 'ok Lucy, you can do this, it wont be too bad. He'll be right here with you the whole time anyways'. She tried to comfort herself. It worked when she would remind herself that he was there with her. Lucy and Carter had spent the night talking, being introduced, and re-introduced to several people. Lucy had even talked him into dancing which he was never really into. She didn't know why, he was a great dancer. The people around them stared when they danced. Though they were staring at everyone else as well, Carter and Lucy were standing out somewhat because the entire family wanted to know what John Carter, the workaholic was doing with such a pretty girl. He had always been with blonds for some reason but, this one was ex!

ceptionally different. She made the term 'dumb blond' go into extinction around these people from the way Millicent had described her. Though she hadn't mentioned the incident of the stabbing. Carter would bring it up with her though. "Lucy" he said while they were in a slow dance. "What did my mom say to you today?" She suddenly felt her panic feeling again. "Um, it was nothing really"

"Lucy, I know you too well, what did she say?"

"You didn't tell your own mother you were stabbed?"

"She talked about that?" he was getting a little angry.

"Well what was she supposed to think when I came out with these scars?"

"They don't look too apparent to me"

"I'm wearing makeup Carter" she was always serious when she called him Carter.

"I'm sorry, she shouldn't have said anything."

"its fine John, just I don't like to be pitied about it."

"I hear ya'"

They had spent 3 long, long grueling hours at this party and were ready to leave when Mrs. Carter made an announcement.

"....Well since tonight has been quite the night for surprises I have a surprise about my son John" That caught both their attention. "John who managed to show up here tonight with an exceptionally wonderful date, will be getting married nest year" The room started with applause and talk. "Oh great now listen to this Luce she'll put on the fake act and everything" he joked. "Oh this I can't wait for" they had both come to be upset at Mrs. Carter when they each discovered what she had said about the other. John was right. She made the entire thing a soap opera. Tears, tears, tears, and more tears. Though she was the only one crying. ".......So, to John and Lucy" they raised a toast and the room repeated the chant. Soon after Lucy and John were ready to go home when his aunt caught up with him with a woman behind her. She looked somewhat familiar to John.

"John before you go I wanted to show you who I found" The woman turned to John and with a smile said, "Hello Jonathan, its been a while huh?" no one called him Jonathan but one person. Angela Greens. Carter was in shock. "Uh, hi Angela I'm sorry I have to make this quick Lucy and I were just leaving." he was not thrilled seeing his former fiancee there. He knew his aunt was trying to break up the whole Lucy- Carter idea. "Oh that's too bad I would have asked for a dance." she smiled too sweetly at Lucy.

"It was nice meeting you Lacy was it?"

"Lucy" she corrected.

"Ah yes, well good night....Lucy. Until next time Jonathan" she waved a hand at him.

"Well that was an unexpected visitor wasn't it?" His aunt tried to look innocent.

"We're leaving. Don't even think for one second that whore is showing up at my wedding"

"John watch that mouth of yours. Angela happens to be a sophisticated young woman whom you could have had a wonderful life with"

"That would explain why she cheated on me"

"She wanted to explore what she was going to lose if she married. You took it the wrong way"

"Good bye" he and Lucy stormed off together. He held her closer just to prove to his aunt there was no coming between them. It had taken a near death experience to bring them together, it would take death to take them apart...............

THE END

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