Over The Brainbow

Title: Over the Brainbow

Summary: www.dymphna.net/challenge - Buffy, coat, alive

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't hurt me.

Thanks to: Jen, Dot, Vic, and Pete, as always.

"I'm an animal," Angel said, weeping.

Buffy patted the thick coat on the back of his neck as he scampered along beside her. "No, you're not. You just need to be free."

Angel sat back on his haunches and tilted his head to one side. She bent down and kissed him on the head. His bright, inquisitive eyes peered up at her and his tail wagged. "Thank you," he said. He turned and ran down the golden road. She watched as he disappeared over the hill.

"That was weird," she muttered.

Buffy walked on, through the cornfields. She hummed to herself. A breeze blew into her face. She shivered, looked down, and folded her arms. "That's too cold," she moaned. Somehow, the breeze continued to blow straight into her face. She turned around and walked backwards.

The breeze followed her. She stopped. So did the breeze. "This is ridiculous!"

"Not as ridiculous as I am," said a mournful voice to her right.

Buffy spun around. A long black coat on a pole met her gaze, flapping in the wind, which she now couldn't feel. "Who said that?" she asked suspiciously.

"Me," said the coat. It swiveled, and she saw a mournful face to match the mournful voice.

Buffy stared at the strange figure. A short, muscular body dressed in old trousers, an old Hawaiian shirt, and an old coat, with painted black hair made from straw. "You're alive?"

"I think so," said the figure. "Or I would think so, if I had a brain. Ha. Ha. Ha."

"You don't have a brain?"

"No. So all I can do is make jokes. Or fall over. Ha. Ha. Ha."

"That's terrible," said Buffy. "What's your name?"

He smiled shyly. "Xander."

"Would you like to come with me? I'm following the golden road. I'm off to see the Wizard of Oz, to ask for a new stunt double."

"Yes, please. Maybe I can ask him for a brain."

They traveled together for a time, laughing and singing. They came to the end of the cornfields and passed into a big forest. They stopped in the first clearing. A big glob of dust, shaped roughly like a man, was in the middle of the clearing. Xander poked it cautiously. It said, "Ow."

Xander said, "Ha. H-" Buffy hit him lightly on the arm. Xander closed his mouth and smiled in gratitude.

"Are you all right, Dust Man?" Buffy asked.

The big glob shimmered in the light. "Please shield me!" it said in a strangled voice. Buffy moved between it and the light. The glob shifted, then coalesced, becoming a man. A tall, slender man with dusty skin and white-blond hair. "That's better," he said. "The name's Spike."

"Buffy and Xander," Buffy smiled. "Pleased to meet you. Why is sunlight bad for you, Spike? Why are you made of dust?"

Spike coughed. A large cloud of foul-smelling dust blew up, which sent Buffy and Xander into coughing fits. Spike waved his hand in front of his face. "Erm, because of love, and stuff. It's, erm, it's a long story. Where are you guys going?"

"We're off to see the Wizard," Xander said. "I'm going to ask for a brain."

"I'm asking for a new stunt double," Buffy added.

"Maybe I could ask him for a heart," Spike mused. "It's getting dark. Can I come with you?" The other two nodded, and they started walking.

They managed a good ten minutes further into the forest before the next interruption. Buffy jumped as a loud "RIBBIT! RIBBIT!" came from the bushes alongside the golden road. It was hard to see in the twilight, but Buffy could dimly make out a large green form.

"Get behind me!" Xander cried to Buffy.

"I'll protect you!" said Spike.

A giant red-haired frog sprang out into the road in front of them. It bounced menacingly on its long, skinny legs. Xander waved his fists angrily, then did a pratfall. Spike leapt high over the frog and somersaulted. The frog squeaked, then slumped into a frog-shaped ball, trembling. "I'm sorry," it said softly.

Buffy screwed up her face in anger. "Why did you try to scare us?" She stalked up to the frog and rapped it on the nose with her knuckles. "That wasn't very nice."

The frog started to cry. Xander and Buffy exchanged stricken glances, then they rushed to embrace the frog, muttering apologies.

Spike threw up his hands. "What's wrong with you people?!"

They released each other. "There's no need to be mean," the frog snuffled. "I'm sorry. I guess I just need some courage."

Spike offered her a bottle.

"Not that kind of courage," the frog said apologetically. "My name's Willow."

"Spike," said Spike.

"Xander," said Xander.

"Buffy," said Buffy. "We're off to see the Wizard."

"I want to ask him for a heart," said Spike.

"I want to ask for a brain," said Xander.

"I'm asking for a new stunt double," said Buffy.

"Maybe I can ask for some courage!" cried Willow. "Oh, please, can I come, too?"

Buffy smiled. "Of course!"

They walked through the forest. By the time they reached the other side, it was full night. The moon shone brightly in the sky. They came to a series of stores on the side of the road.

"The Magic Shoppe," read Buffy. "This is it."

Xander knocked on the door, and pushed it open. They filed inside. A voice boomed out, making them jump. "WELCOME. I AM THE WIZARD."

A tall man in a wizard's costume, wearing glasses, walked around the bookshelves. He held up a guitar and spoke into it. "IT SOUNDS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?"

They nodded, speechless. The man put the guitar on the counter and beamed at them. "What can I do for you?"

"I need courage," said Willow sadly. "Oh, Great Wizard, can you help me?"

"But you already have courage," the Wizard told her gently. "Look at all the things you've done."

Willow's face lit up. "Yes! Yes, I do!"

Spike stepped forward. "I need a heart."

The Wizard looked at Spike and rubbed his chin, deep in thought. Then he looked at Buffy. "You already have a heart," he told Spike.

Spike looked at Buffy. A slow smile grew on his face.

Xander put up his hand. "Um, could you give me a brain, please?"

The Wizard nodded. "This one's a little more complicated. You already have a brain, but you haven't had the chance to use it much, lately. Lose the shirt, first. Get some decent clothes. That'll help."

Xander grinned. "Okay. Thanks!"

Buffy said, "Can you help me? I need a new stunt double."

The Wizard's face crumpled. Buffy thought he was going to cry. "No, I can't," he said softly. "But I can help you with something else. I can help you get out of Oz."

He led them through to the back of the shop, then outside. A hot-air balloon was tethered in the backyard. "Here you go."

Buffy hugged her friends, and thanked the Wizard. "You've helped me a lot."

The Wizard shook her hand, and helped her into the basket. She waved goodbye. He untied the balloon. It rose up quickly. Before long, Buffy could see the entire town, then the forest, and the cornfields beyond. When she got even higher, she could see that it all was part of the body of a slender teenage boy, with light brown hair on his head and an unusual amount of hair on the rest of his body.

****

Buffy opened her eyes and sat straight up. She was in the Magic Shoppe, sitting at the table. Willow, Giles, Xander and Spike looked at her. "I had the weirdest dream," Buffy said, looking around in wonder. The colours of the Magic Shoppe seemed muted, faded. She pointed at her friends. "You were there, and you were there, and you were there, and you were there. . ."

Giles raised his eyebrows. "Another prophetic dream?"

"I certainly hope not!"