Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Slam. 4:30 a.m. Or as Dawn called it once, Oh Dark Thirty. Why is it that flights from the West Coast to the East Coast have to leave so early in order to land at a reasonable time in the East? I call up to Melanie's room to make sure she's awake since she didn't have an alarm clock. A half-hour later, we're pulling out of the EconoLodge for the drive back to the airport. I figured driving Melanie back Sunday would be a good practice run for my solo drive Monday morning. I was a little worried pulling onto Melrose Avenue from Vine Street because I saw a Street Closed sign sitting in the middle of Melrose. I decided to ignore it and turned onto Melrose anyway. Street cones blocked off all the side streets leading onto Melrose. Hmmm.... Suddenly at major intersection, the cones are blocking Melrose itself. Fortunately, the road crew putting out the cones was also there. One of the workers moved some cones aside and waved us through. I don't know what I would have done if we had had to detour since I only knew the one route to the airport.

We were following the map directions in reverse and started looking for the intersection of La Cienega and Fairfax. Our map wasn't very detailed at that point so we couldn't track any cross streets that led up to the intersection. After a while, the streets and buildings stopped looking familiar in the early morning dark. Concerned that we had missed the turn off, I find an all-night gas station and stop for directions. "We looking for La Cienega?" "It's one block farther down that way." Naturally. Actually the lady was wrong; it was two blocks farther down. But I was just happy that we hadn't passed it. (Plus the gas station proved to be a convenient trip marker for my solo journey the next day.)

Finally, we reach the airport. With plenty of time for Melanie to meet her flight. We said a sad, long goodbye with promises to see each other again soon, and then I settled back in the car for what I figured would be a short boring lonely drive back to the hotel. Foolish me.

My adventures started early. The airport exit road came to a major intersection. There were two roads turning left plus three roads going straight. I was in the leftmost straight lane when I realized that I needed to turn left at the light. Since there wasn't anyone in the turn lanes, I decided to "bend" a traffic law or two and turn from left from the straight lane. When the light turned green, I took off. Got halfway through the intersection and slammed to a halt. I realized that green light was only for the straight lanes, and I was about to turn left into on-coming traffic. So here's my problem. I'm stuck in the middle of the intersection making an illegal left turn and wondering just what I should do. I finally decide that since there wasn't any on-coming traffic and there weren't any cops around, I should just finish making my turn and get out of everybody's way before the light changed again. So that's what I did.

Remember those cones blocking off the side roads on the way to the airport? I was afraid that some of the roads would be blocked off going back to the airport. But there weren't any. It was just the side roads that were blocked. The only reason I can think of for blocking off that many roadways is for a parade. But I never found out why La Cienega, Fairfax, and Melrose were blocked. When I reached Melrose, I couldn't remember if I should turn left or right. Since I was in the left lane, I decided to turn left. So I'm tooling down Melrose looking at the street signs. Yep. I remember that street name. That name looks familiar. That other name looks familiar. That name .... Does... not ... look familiar. That doesn't look familiar. Where am I??? Up ahead I see signs that say, "Santa Monica" and "No U-turn". And Melrose Avenue bends off to the right and starts to go up.

Now if there's one thing I learned from my Friday adventures, it's this:

Up is bad. Up is very bad.

Definitely going the wrong direction on Melrose. There aren't any side streets to turn onto. There aren't even any driveways to turn into. So in front of the No U-turn sign, I make a lovely U-turn in the middle of the street. Hey! I was the only one on the road. Who's going to know? Right?

So I'm heading the other way on Melrose Avenue. Back to Fairfax and beyond. Yep. That street name looks familiar. So does that one. Oh! There's the Improv. And the Groundlings. Things are looking good. I fall in behind a black limousine and start looking for the street Melanie had said came just before Vine — La Chuenga. Suddenly, the black limo stops. Melrose Avenue is blocked off at Highland. I can't drive any farther. Neither can the black limo. The limo turns onto Highland. Figuring that the limo is going in approximately the same direction I am, I turn onto Highland too. (Not that I had much of a choice, mind you.) Following the limo, and praying that the driver knew where we were going, we turn onto Beverly. Ah! A road name I know. I figure that Beverly runs parallel to Melrose, which means that Vine should eventually cross Beverly as well. Except that the road isn't called Vine on this side of Melrose. It's called.... It's called.... Oh Lord, what is it called? I finally come up with a name: Rossmore. I hope that's the correct name. Uh-oh. Here's Rossmore. Well, let's turn down Rossmore and see if it changes into Vine at some point. If it doesn't, I'll just make yet another illegal U-turn and get back on Beverly. Fortunately, the traffic gods were on my side for once in LA as Rossmore curved around and the statues at the intersection of Melrose and Vine came into view. Finally! I got back to the hotel around 6:30 a.m. where I went promptly back to bed and crashed for another four hours.

© LKK