To Market, to Market
September 24, 1972
Written by Burt Styler
Directed by Michael O'Herlihy
Guest Stars: G. Wood, Robert Ito, Jack Soo, John C. Johnson
Synopsis: The gang are operating on a General who was on the front line, when they run out of hydrocortisone.
Margaret protests that she definitely ordered it and Frank says that it was hijacked by the Black Market, but everyone is relieved to know that replacement hydrocortisone is due to arive soon.
However, when the truck arrives it is empty – it too has been hijacked by the Black Market.
Meanwhile, Henry takes delight in polishing his newly acquired antique oak desk and boasts to Radar about it. Hawkeye and Trapper come into the office complaining about the hydrocortisone and call General Hammond to ask him what’s going on. He tells them there is none available, so Hawkeye and Trapper decide they must out-black-market the Black Market.
They ask for Radar’s help and he gives them the address of a nearby Black Marketeer, Charlie Lee.
When they visit him, he tells them he has already found a buyer for the hydrocortisone but says that he’ll let them have it anyway for ten thousand dollars, since they have nothing else he wants. Hawkeye and Trapper know they can’t afford this, so they persuade Charlie that he really needs a new desk, as a status symbol that will bring him respect.
Charlie comes to the 4077th, dressed as a general, to get into Henry’s office and get a good look at the desk before he makes his decision.
Henry extolls the desk’s virtues, playing right into Hawkeye and Trapper’s plan. Charlie agrees to trade the desk for the hydrocortisone, as long as they can get it to him on time. He will send a truck at 0500, but if they are late he’ll give the hydrocortisone to the other buyer.
While Charlie is inspecting the desk, his ‘General’s aide’, actually a fellow Black Marketeer, tries to sell Frank a watch. Frank is suspicious and later sneaks out after Hawkeye and Trapper when they go to get the desk ready. He sneaks into the Outer Office and bumps into Margaret. After an agonising few moments during which Hawkeye and Trapper hide behind the desk, trying not to be heard, Frank and Margaret lock the office door to go to the Supply Tent together, leaving Hawkeye and Trapper stuck in Henry’s office.
Charlie’s truck has arrived and Radar tries to get the two of them out, while persuading the driver to wait just a few more minutes, but Frank comes back and orders the truck away, threatening to report the driver to the MPs.
Hawkeye and Trapper manage to get an entire wall off Henry’s office and get the desk out that way, but it’s too late, the truck is already leaving. Hawkeye and Trapper have to think of an alternative plan.
Frank, meeanwhile, has gone to Henry with his suspicions and the two of them arrive in Henry’s office, only to see the absent wall, and Henry’s precious desk being carried off into the distance by chopper.
The hydrocortisone is soon delivered and all is well.
Review: There are some funny moments in this episode, notably Henry’s reaction to the sight of his desk flying away from him, but it isn’t especially memorable. 6/10
Romance Review: Frank and Margaret have a liaison in the Supply Tent. Henry dries women’s underwear in his tent, presumably Lesley’s. 2/10
Trivia: Frank’s favourite part of Margaret is her lobes.
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