Yankee Doodle Doctor
October 22, 1972
Written by Laurence Marks
Directed by Lee Philips
Guest Stars: Ed Flanders, Bert Kramer, Herb Voland
Synopsis: It’s an ordinary day in the Swamp – Hawkeye and Trapper dance, Frank complains – when Henry enters with Lieutenant Bricker, who is on special assignment to the 4077th. He is a movie director who is making a film about M*A*S*H units and General Clayton has recommended the 4077th as the best unit to star in his film.
Bricker is looking for someone to be the focus of the documentary, someone with screen presence, charisma, and humour. Frank says that he did some acting in college, but Hawkeye’s messing around impresses Bricker and he decides to make him the star of the film.
When casualties arrive, the cameras follow the surgeons into triage and surgery, getting in the way and severely irritating Hawkeye and Trapper.
Later, Henry and Radar film their scene with Bricker, and when Hawkeye and Trapper return to the Swamp they find Margaret helping Frank practise his lines for the narration on the film.
When they hear Bricker’s script they are disgusted – it is inaccurate, portraying their lives as glorious and noble. Hawkeye calls it a fairytale documentary. Determined that this biased vision won’t be released, Hawkeye and Trapper concoct a plan.
While Radar distracts Lieutenant Bricker, Hawkeye and Trapper sneak into the office and expose all of the film.
After Bricker discovers the ruined film, he goes to the Swamp in a rage and demands that they reshoot the film, but Hawkeye refuses to have any part in it. After Bricker storms out, Henry tries to persuade him to change his mind, since the film will be shown in the States and it would mean a lot to the families of the people in the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper decide that they will reshoot the film themselves, without any help from Bricker.
They film several scenes, including one of Hawkeye, Trapper and Radar holding a 4077th flag, and one of Radar as a casualty arriving in an ambulance.
On the night of the first screening, there is an atmosphere of excitement as everyone heads to the Mess Tent. General Clayton is present to see the finished film, but it isn’t quite what he expected…
The film is incredibly silly, featuring Hawkeye’s Groucho Marx impression and some truly dreadful jokes, but the final scene is of Hawkeye, sitting at the bedside of a wounded soldier, explaining that no war is a movie.
General Clayton, although shocked, finds the whole thing amusing and asks for a print of the film to keep. Hawkeye signs autographs for his adoring public.
Review: A great episode - the film at the end is a classic. 7/10.
Romance Review: Hawkeye flirts with Cutler. Margaret flirts with General Clayton. Hmph. 1/10.
Quotes: 'For a while there, it was a toss-up whether I'd become a doctor or an actor.'
'What finally happened?' - Frank and Hawkeye.
'Hey fella, could you smile a little bit like you got confidence in the doctor?' - Bricker, to a severely wounded soldier in triage.
'You ruined my film, that's what you did!'
'Gee, I acted as well as I could.' - Bricker and Hawkeye.
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