“On Our Own”

Episode Six (#1T06)

The Gang Goes to the Zoo

Written by Joe Termine

Scene One:

“Going Ape”

Location: The Penthouse

Characters: The Gang

Katie: Today is another beautiful day!
John: It’s raining and everyone’s sick.
James: No one’s sick here, what are you talking about?
John: Oops, I must be thinking of other people….[mutters to self] poor people don’t even know how sick they’re gonna be.
Joe [walks in with a monkey on his back]: Hey guys!
Katie: I don’t want to pry, but you really should shave your back, it’s really getting hairy.
Joe: No dummy, it’s a monkey… I got it free today, see…[shows newspaper: “FREE ENTRANCE AND ANIMALS TODAY AT THE ZOO”]
John: Um Joe, they meant that you could go in for free and see the animals for free…not that the animals are free.
Katie: Did Joe just call me stupid?
John: No it was dummy if I remember correctly.
Katie: Oh okay then.
James: We have to go back to the zoo, huh?
John: Guess so.
Joe: Yeah we can get a new friend for Mojo…
John: No, no more animals… we still can’t get that thing in the corner to leave.
[The gang looks at a sponge in the corner start to move and eat the toaster]

Katie: Let’s go already?
Joe: Why did you just ask a question?
Katie: Felt like mixing things up.

OPENING CREDITS

Song: (to the same theme music as Cheers)

1. Musical Beginning

2. Sometimes you wanna go, where it is always gonna rain,

3. And you'll always be in pain.

4. You wanna be where you can see, the people are all insane,

5. You wanna go where you can be eaten by a Great Dane.

6. Musical Ending

Sequence: (corresponding line by line from the song above)

1. A view of downtown Dayboqrx, with the text "On Our Own" along the center of the screen.

2. John is seen, startled by the camera man in a supermarket, accidentally knocking over a shelf creating a domino effect, his name on the bottom of the screen.

3. James is seen in the rainy parking lot, his fingers shaped as a gun pretending to shoot at nothing, his name on the bottom of the screen.

4. Joe is seen in the rainy parking lot, chasing a sheep, he stops, smiles, and waves at the camera, his name on the bottom of the screen.

5. Katie is seen arguing with a light pole, her name on the bottom of the screen.

6. John comes running from the supermarket, mouthing the words "Run for your life." The Gang runs as the store collapses and are chased by a pack of Great Danes. On the bottom of the screen reads "Created by John Painting and James Achaia."

Scene Two:

“Lamers, and Tigers, and Bears, Oh My”

Location: An unnamed Dayboqrx street

Characters: The Gang

Joe: So guys, what do you want to go with Mojo, maybe a bobcat…or a falcon…
Katie: I was thinking a snake, they are clean and get rid of pests.
James: How about a squid, if it doesn’t work out we can just eat it.
John: I was thinking maybe a turtle.
Joe: Now you’re just talking crazy.
James: I thought you didn’t want any more animals John.
John: I don’t just didn’t want to be left out.
Joe: We would never leave you out [ Joe and Katie and James turn a corner and begin to talk]
James: Now that the “Everyone but John club” is here we can start now.
John: What are you guys doing over there?
Joe: Guys look out he is c-o-m-ing.
Katie: Way to spell.
Joe: Thanks I have been working on it in my book.
James: It shows.
Mojo: Eep eep.
Joe: No we can not go for a banana smoothie…I don ‘t care if it is in your diet…[grabs Katie’s hair] eat this.
Katie: Excuse me, did you even ask if a monkey could eat my hair?
Joe: No, but you had the “eat my hair monkey look in your eye.”
Katie: What does that look like?
[ Joe makes a crazy face and shows everyone]
Katie: Wow, I really looked like that? I apologize…here monkey eat up.

[she shoves hair in the monkeys mouth]
James: Are we there yet?
John: You have the map James you tell me!
James: No I don’t, you told James to get it.
Joe: You’re James … James.
James: I always thought you were James, Joe whoops.
Joe: See, since my monkey is soooo smart, he can find out where the Zoo is…and you didn’t want to keep him.
John: The reason we have to go to the Zoo is because of the stupid monkey!
Katie: Yeah the monkey John, that’s why we’re going. [makes a crazy motion behind her hand]
James: Why can’t you admit it you just wanted to go to the Zoo?
John: I didn’t, I was about to read a book.
Joe: No you weren’t!
John: Well I want to now.
Katie: Too late for reading now, you dragged us to the Zoo so that’s where we are going.
John: Joe made us have to go to the Zoo!
[The monkey jumps off Joe’s back and runs quickly down an alley]
Joe: See, he has found the Zoo.
[When the gang turns the corner they find a fruit stand sitting on the road]
Joe: It is smaller then I remember the Zoo being…and there’s less animals, but hey what are going to do?
James: I don’t think this is the Zoo.
John: Not enough crap around.
James: No there is tons of that, just look under your shoe…it is that…well the Zoo is over there. [he points at a big sign that reads “Zoo this way; no feeding the people”]
Joe: I think it was an old prison, so they saved big on the cages and they already had animal food in the place when they came in.
John: Lets just go in.

Scene Three:

“How Much is That Elephant in the Window?”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, Mr. Man

[As the gang enters the Zoo, a man comes up to them]
Man: Hello, I am a man…sorry Mr. Man to be exact. I run the Zoo and the tours of it.
Joe: Great, can we go on one!
Man: Go on what?
James: What my friend is trying to ask is “How much is that elephant in the window?”
John: I don’t think he was James.
James: Are you telling me I don’t know what other people are thinking?
Katie: Yes.
James: I know you are, I was talking about John.
Joe: Can we go on the tour now?
Man: Follow me, we have to go the pain room…[laughs] don’t let the name fool you, this will be painful.
[The gang leaves the room with smiles on their faces]
Joe: I have never seen so many panes of glass in my life.
Man: I told you it would be painful…now to go to the fun room!
[The gang leaves the room with a look of pain in their eyes]
James: That room is very misleading.
Man: It was a fun room for the people giving you the shots so you don’t get a disease.
Joe: Maybe you should change the names of the two rooms so people know what they’re getting.
Man: And take all the fun out of it? I think not.
James: We can just go anywhere in the park right?
Man: Sorry guys you can only go “Almost Anywhere”[points to a alternate park that says “Almost Anywhere”]
Joe: What a jip.
Man: You didn’t think we would give free entrance to “this” park did you?
Katie: Well we di…
Man: Did you?
James: Let’s just go on guys.
[Man laughs evilly while the gang walks away then follows behind then quietly and then laughs again]
Katie: Creepy man.
John: He reminds me of your father.
Katie: That is why he is a creepy man…and shut up!
[The gang enters the “other” park]
James: Look, that’s where all the animals get bathed.
Joe: Look one of them dropped the soap…ah that is disgusting.
James: You thought that too.
Joe: I mean that is just wrong, making the animals use Zest, it cleans so poorly.
[The rest of the gang look at each other in astonishment]
Joe: WHAT?
James: Let’s just go.
Joe: It cleans poorly…I can’t tell the truth.
Katie: Joe that is all they have in the wild…Zest is used to make them feel like they are in the jungles again.
John: Next exhibit anyone?

Scene Four:

“Monkey Magic”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, Monkey Magician, and Translator

Joe: Guys, where did Mojo go?
Katie: Who cares, I was running out of hair anyway.
John: I’ve seen your armpits, you will never run out of hair.
[Katie blushes]
[A loud amount of applause are heard coming from nearby]
Monkey Magician: Owwk Owwk EEEE EEE.
[a translator stands by to translate]
Translator: He said “Thank you ladies and gentlemen.”
Joe: No he didn’t!
[The crowd goes silent as the Translator and Joe square off]
Translator: I have spent three years in Harvard learning how to speak Monkese.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOO!!!
Joe: I spent four years in he desert with the Pygmy sand monkeys of Savannah.
Crowd: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH…[cough] sorry…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Joe: Go Mojo, morph into T-Rex [makes flustered hand motions].
James: Um Joe…you’re not a Power Ranger.
[ Joe turns away and sighs]
John: Maybe we should let him be for a second…first the Zest soap now this, it seems like a lot for one person.
Translator: I can see why he is such a failure.
John: Hey Mr. Monkey Man…Joe may not be the quickest but he is the best friend we could have.
Katie: Better then me, impossible!
James: Quiet Katie…we are going to play the don’t be condescending game, if you win, you learn a important life lesson.
Katie: And if I lose?
John: You sleep outside!
Joe: Hey guys, man, mourning about not being a huge Chinese action figure star over here.
[The gang huddles around Joe and makes him feel better]
James: Bet he is gay…that should make you feel better!
John: Why would that make him feel better?
James: I don’t know I saw it on a T.V. show when this girl broke up with her boyfriend…this guy was like “he is probably gay,” it was great.
Katie: But Joe is a guy and he didn’t lose anyone.
James: It is the same principle.
John: Principal McDonnell…man he was a great principal.
Katie [in a slightly condescending tone]: Okay.
James: You’re towing the line.
Katie: But…
James: Towing…
[Katie gets a concession stand line to get on her back and starts walking around with them on it]
John: You meant the saying, not the actual task of doing it right?
James: Yeah but this is even better…her over thinking mind has thwarted her again.

COMMERCIAL

Scene Five:

“And Right in Front of You, You See a Bunch of Loons”

Location: The Dayboqrx

Characters: The Gang, Tour Guide

[A trolley pulls up to where the Gang is standing]
Tour Guide: We need four more people for the ride…anyone [looks straight at the gang]
Joe: Us, us…oh us please…
Tour Guide: [drops his hat on the ground] Can you help me pick that up you four people?
[ Joe bends over to pick up the hat and the man pushes all of them onto the trolley]
Tour Guide: Ha, my plan works perfectly every time. [grumbles to himself] Doesn’t play well with others my Astroturf.
James: We wanted to go on the tour, you didn’t have to push us!
Katie: That was the most action since I fell on the sidewalk…

[flashback to a long time ago

Katie: Well hello, is that a crack in the pavement, or are you just happy to see me?

end flashback]
Katie: Good times…I wonder if that sidewalk is still there?
Joe: That was even stupid for us!
John: I must agree that was a ratio of 56 : 1, stupid to not.
Tour Guide: To your left [points up in the air] you will see my shattered dreams…look at them break.
Joe: I’m pretty sure he’s going to cry now and then show us the pandas.
[The man starts to cry uncontrollably]
Joe: Now show us the pandas!
Tour guide: Over here this is the panda cages…imagine the fun it would be to see the animals playing in there…but you guys are too cheap to pay for the real one so you got this one.

[The man smears makeup on his face and begins to talk again]
Katie: This is getting strange…
Joe: I know!
Katie: No, I have that same shade, and they don’t make it anymore.
Tour Guide: I am sorry but Max had to leave for a minute, I’m his sister Sally.
Joe: Hello sexy!!
John: Joe, you know that’s a guy, right?
Joe: I know the guy went through all that work, I didn’t want him/her to feel unappreciated.
James: Why don’t we try to get off this thing?
John: At this speed, we’re going at about five miles per hour…if we caught it wrong we could have a skinned knee…no way…I have a crazy plan that will work.
[He whispers to the gang and a man standing behind them]
Joe: Who are you?
Man: I want to get out of here too…and I just bought these pants so I don’t want to scuff them.
Katie: Fine.
[ John makes a lasso out of vines that are growing over the passing cages]
Joe: I will distract the thing while we make a lasso and use it to latch onto that quarter of a inch ledge over directly below the gator, snake, spider, and random broken bottle pit.
Katie: People really should think of expanding the deadly animals…it’s nothing without the sharks.
John: I got the lasso.
James: Good, get ready!
Joe: Well I like to be just crazy on a day to day basis and I thought from the looks of it you like the same thing and…
John: Now!!!!
Joe: BYE!!
[The Gang and the man all swing onto the vine lasso and get a hold of the ledge they pull themselves up and look across to see the trolley stop 3 feet ahead at the drop off point]
John: See, I told you it would work.

Scene Six:

“Zippidy Zoo Da, Zippidy Eh”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, another guide

James: We should really check out the other things around this park.
Joe: Look a tour guide!
Katie: Oh no, you’re not making us go on another of those crazy tours.
Joe: I had nothing to do with it, I was dragged on the trolley like the rest of you.
John: Joe is right.
Katie [mocking John]: Joe is right!
Joe: What was that for?
Katie: I haven’t insulted anyone for a while I needed to get out my aggression.
John: May I suggest punching harmless animals, it doesn’t hurt anyone that really matters and it is more fun [he punches a random animal not realizing it’s a grizzly bear causing the bear to attack him]
Joe: They have bears but no goats, this really is a jip.
James: We really should help John.
Joe: Helping someone is a one man job.
Katie: I’m a girl so I don’t have to do it.
Joe: It is your idea James, you help him.
James: I was just making a suggestion, I wasn’t actually going to do it.
[ John still grappling with the mighty bear as they argue who should save him]
Joe: He looks like he is doing good…plus it builds character and he can have a story.
Katie: Hey guys, the tour group is leaving, we better catch up with them.
Joe: I almost forgot about John [ John is clinging on for life and smiles as he see Joe coming towards him to help]…hey pal, you have our tokens and camera, can I have it? [a bloody hand hands the items to Joe] Thanks…have fun!
Katie: Let’s go…if we miss the animal survival class we may never get out of a dangerous situation.
[The gang leaves to pursue the group just about to leave]
Guide: This is our bird cage [points at groups of birds flapping and feasting on small things]
Joe: Are those rabbits or other small animals?
Guide: No, the bird cage also doubles as a Daycare Center, it’s quite ingenious…the kids who survive learn how to survive in the real world and the ones who don’t make a great hearty meal for the birds…we only take skinny children, we have our birds on a balanced diet no sugar, so we don’t allow fatties in there…
Katie: See Joe, you get dinner and a show.
Joe: I didn’t get to eat.
[Katie holds up a arm from the cage]
Katie: Here you like arms?
Joe: Not that hungry thanks.

Scene Seven:

“Unlock the Door of Your Mind”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, a Creepy Guy, and some onlookers

Katie: Hey Joe, I believe you owe me a dollar.
Joe: WHY?
Katie: JINX you owe me a dollar! Hahaha, I love that trick.
James: You have to say something at the same time Joe does.
Katie: Damn I have so much to learn…so I guess I owe Joe a dollar.
James: NO…the person who pointed it out gets it.
Katie: Whatever you say. [hands him a dollar]
James [to himself]: That was too easy.
Katie: What??
Joe: He said “that was too easy.”
Katie: Oh.
[ John walks up to the gang covered in scratches and cuts]
Joe: Hey John, where you been?
John: I was wrestling a bear just 10 minutes ago…REMEMBER!!!!
Joe: No.
Katie: Nope.
James: Give me a dollar!
Joe: I would remember something like that…I have a mind like a steel… what’s that thing that kills a bear?
Katie: A gun?
Joe: No.
James: A bigger bear?!!!
Joe: Yes my mind is like a steel bigger bear.
John: Don’t you mean a steel trap?
Joe: What the hell is a steel trap?
John: That thing you’re about to walk into.
Joe: Wait, what the hell are you tal…OWWWWW my leg!!! Get this metal contraption off me! You know, this would be a great thing to kill a bear, why didn’t you think of THIS thing you moron?!
James: John really could of used one of those before…you know with the whole bear wrestling and all…priceless!
Joe: My bigger bear-like mind will never forget where that happened…[he steps right back down on it] Right he…little help!
Katie: I couldn’t even count how many times a bear trap was on my foot… cause it never happened, so I should know it doesn’t hurt just shake it off… shake it off.
[ Joe gets up and his ankle breaks]
Katie: Now you feel better?
Joe [holding back his tears and feelings of anger]: Fine now, thanks.
[A group is starting to form around an area near some cages]
James: Let’s go check it out!!!
John: Way to drama that one up!
James: Huh?
John: Could you be anymore obvious? I mean really.
Joe: O…K…lets just go.
[A man is standing next to a cage with his hands on it attempting to open the cage with his mind]
Joe: What is going on?
Onlooker: Shhhh, this guy is a psychic locksmith.
James: A what?
Onlooker: Shhhh.
Joe: -IT!
Katie: What are you doing Joe?
Joe: The person said shhhh, so I said IT. It makes a bad word.
Onlooker: Shhhh
Joe: You make it too easy… -IT.
[The man still tries with all his might to open the cage using his mind]
Katie: Couldn’t they just use a real locksmith.
[A creepy guy pops out of nowhere]
Creepy Guy: We can not afford to use a “real” locksmith, so we pay this guy $1000 a hour to do it.
Joe: Isn’t that more money then you would spend on a locksmith?
Creepy Guy: In retrospect, yes.
James: You have those cool glasses that help you look into the past?
Creepy Guy: Not Retro specs…retrospect…to see something in the long run.
Joe: I can only run short distances.
Creepy Guy: Are we done here?
John: I didn’t know we started!
[The cage opens and everyone cheers]
Joe: I missed the guy do the thing [he walks over to the cage and closes it ] Do it again!
Locksmith [teary eyed]: I used up all my power to make that open.
John: The cage was empty anyway.
Joe: Guess we will never know why they opened a empty cage.
[The gang walks away as the Zoo personnel usher all the onlookers into a cage]

COMMERCIAL

Scene Eight:

“How Mojo Got His Groove Back”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang

James: So guys, do you…
Katie: Ahem!
James: What?
Katie: It’s guys and Katie.
Joe: If we get addressed differently I want to be called Uberjesus Joe.
John: I want to be know as Funk Masta Painting.
James: No no no, this is all wrong….
Joe [ashamed]: You’re right I’m sorry.
James: I mean I want a name too.
Katie: You can have my old name “The Greatness Formally Known As Katie.”
James: That is catchy, and I only have to get a few letters added on all your mugs.
Katie: Yup.
Joe: Hey does anyone know where Mojo is?
Katie [covering her hair]: Why, is he here?
Joe: No, I was just asking if anyone had seen him [looks around] there he is!
[Mojo runs over to Joe and leaps into his arms and motions him to come with him]
Joe: I will be back in a minute, my monkey wants to show me something. I never get tired of saying that.
James: Ok see you later Uberjesus Joe…You, I mean Funk Masta Painting and Katie ready to go?
[no one answers him]
James: Hey John and Katie you ready to go?
John: On second thought I would like to be called…
James: Quiet Joe’s back and he looks happy, let us find out why.
[ Joe runs over to the Gang]
Joe: Hey guys I found Mojo and he has a surprise for us.
Katie: Is it new hair!
Joe: NO, better come look.
[ Joe turns the corner to reveal Mojo with a new sweetheart]
Joe: I would like to introduce you to Gladware.
John: It’s a mop.
Katie: A dirty mop.
Joe: Okay guys, she may be a bit dirty and raggy, but he loves her and I will stand by him no matter what.
Katie: But it’s a mop.
Joe: You’re no prize pig yourself.
[Katie hides blue ribbons for Best in Show in a Pig Contest behind her back]
Katie: Yup, I never won anything…let’s just drop it…FOREVER!
John: Done and medium well.
James: Don’t you mean done and done?
John: I don’t like my conversations overcooked, I like it medium well to seal in the flavor.
Joe: Back to the happy news…they’re getting married!!!
John: Hate to point out the obvious, but he is a monkey and that is a mop.
[Ten minutes later]
John [crying]: That was the most beautiful wedding ever.
[The two lovers run away into the forest that is strangely put there]

Scene Nine:

“Beasting It With Benji”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, Benji, and a zoo worker

Joe: This day just gets better and better, huh guys.
James: Katie, why didn’t you yell at Joe for calling all of us guys?
Katie: Don’t know, I just felt like yelling at someone before I got it out of my system… stupid!
John: So, what would you guys like to do now, they are having a polar bear cage cleaning in like 10 minutes, it could be mediocre joy intake.
James: Nah, how bout we go to the Bat Caves, I hear they give you this cool blindfold and a fruit covered suit, sounds like fun.
Katie: How about we find an animal as great as me and then we can go home.
[Katie points at a wooden bench]
John: What?
Katie: This animal is as great as me, let’s go now.
Joe: That is a bench silly.
[The bench moves away and takes down a elephant in a nearby cage and starts to eat it]
Joe: Least he has a new coat of paint, it may be red, but it’s still a new coat.

John: Is that who I think it is?
Joe: I think that is Benji.
[Benji is hassling a Zoo worker about getting his cats into the Zoo as “The many species of cats through the years”]
Zoo worker: You’re that crazy guy the authorities have been warning us about…trying to pawn off your cats as different.
Benji: They are different, look at this one, he can stand just like the earliest man.
Zoo worker: Take you hands off his side and let’s see him stand.
Benji: Everyone knows that in the Prehistoric ages, cats had other cats hold them up, it is elementary stuff.
Zoo worker: And how did the other cat stand up?
Benji: And my next cat is even before that when the cats roamed around killing there pray. [Benji holds up a cat with two bananas as teeth] Don’t get to close, he is looking hungry and I can’t control his temper.
Zoo worker: That one is a girl or did these cats all not have genitals yet?
Benji: Okay you caught me.
Zoo worker: Thank you.
Benji: They all didn’t have genitals.
Joe: Maybe we should help him out.
Katie: Benji is doing fine, I never learned this much in my life.
Joe: I was talking about the poor Zoo worker…and you’re right this is informative.
James: Maybe we should hang out with Benji more.
[Benji is doing an “ancient cat dance” with his cats and throwing then at the Zoo worker]
Joe: Maybe we should just stay at a safe distance and gawk.
John: Now that sounds like a plan.
Benji: And another thing…

Scene Ten:

“In the Circle of Strife”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, and a zoo worker

Joe: Wow, for free you really get your moneys worth.
Katie: I agree with that.
Joe: You can’t, that was my statement, get one of your own statement stealer.
Katie: Oh yeah!!
Joe: And you’re going bald too. [sticks out his tongue at her and a bird lands on it]
James: What was the odds of that happening?
John: 2 : 1 in the birds favor [points to a sign reading ”Any unneeded tongue sticking will result in bird landings”]
Joe: Vhat is goit on ova thea…
John: Take that bird out of your mouth.
Joe: [he spits out the bird] I never get to do anything.
James: And from what I understood from Joe he asked what was going on over thea…
Katie: So close, yet so far.
[The gang walks over to a dark cage…then a eruption of light comes out of nowhere]
Joe: What the…
Zoo worker: This is the cage for the out of work show business animals. Over there the snake from “Anaconda” and there the lion from the MGM opening credits, he is just not the same he used to be…we give them some time to put on shows so they don’t feel left out anymore…Today we have “The Feline Large Animal Sultan”
James: You mean the Lion King?
Zoo keeper: Shhhh, the guys upstairs thought it would be good to make them think they got some new work
John: Is that who I think it is?
Zoo keeper: That is right, it is the shark from James Bond, the one that tried to kill him in the first ever movie.
Katie: There are no sharks in the desert.
Zoo keeper: Imagination!!
John: These animals look old.
Zoo keeper: You don’t know the half of it…that shark has had its third fin job so he looks as young as possible it is really sad…and we got all of them!!!!
Joe: We are going to be going now.
Zoo keeper: NO this is the time that the ostrich from “Dude where’s my car” does splits it is magic!

COMMERCIAL

Scene Eleven:
”Parting is Such a Pain in the Butt”

Location: The Dayboqrx Zoo

Characters: The Gang, and a creepy man

James: Can we just leave this place now!
Katie: No I want to stay.
Joe: You just said before “I am Katie and I am stupid.”
Katie: I’m pretty sure I didn’t say that.
Joe: You were thinkin’ it pretty hard.
Katie: Nope, nope, it was you Joe.
Joe [whispering]: You win this round.
Katie: Hopefully you and me will never have to fight to the death.
John: Man, that’s random.
[Creepy Man comes out from nowhere]
Creepy Man: Did someone say fight to the death?
[Katie raises her hand]
Katie: I did.
Creepy Man: Well, you’re in luck, you get to fight to the death today!
Katie: I said I didn’t want to fight to the death.
Creepy Man: If you win, you get your money refunded.
James: But it was free…
Creepy Man: Needless to say GO!!!!!
Joe: Then why’d you say it?
Creepy Man: I don’t hear fighting to the death. Let me put in my “fighting to the death” hearing aid. [he puts a rock in his ear] Ah, that’s the death.
Katie: Not that I’ve had any ill feeling about you, but I’m gonna shank you like a fish.
Joe: What???
Katie: Less talky, more stabby. Have at you!
Joe: I really don’t want to fight you.
Katie: You’re not jipping me out of my money back!
James [yelling]: IT WAS FREE!!!
Katie: How ‘bout we just stab the guy who gave us the jousting sticks?
Creepy Man [tapping his ear]: I think this thing is malfunctioning, I don’t hear jousting.

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