From Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album.
Written by Eric Idle.
Performed by Eric Idle.
The world today seems absolutely crackers
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They only come up to your knees
Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese
I like Chinese
There's 900 million of them in the world today
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.
I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They come from a long way overseas
But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.
I like Chinese food
The waiters never are rude
Think all the many things they've done to impress
There's Maoism, Taoism, I-Ching, and Chess.
So I like Chinese
I like Chinese
I like their tiny little trees
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese.
I like Chinese thought
The wisdom that Confucious taught
If Darwin is anything to shout about
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They only come up to your knees
Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please.*
All together...
Wo ai Zhongguoren
Wo ai Zhongguoren
Wo ai Zhongguoren
Ni hao ma
Ni hao ma
Ni hao ma zhaijen!
I like Chinese
I like Chinese
Their food is guaranteed to please
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.
I like Chinese
I like Chinese
I like their tiny little trees
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese.
I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They only come up to your knees...
*Alternative lyrics to this verse (from Eric Idle's Liverdance stage show):
So, I like Chinese
I like Chinese
We sometimes bomb their embassies.
But we don't really mean to, we thought they were trees.
