I've Got a Little List
From The Mikado.
By William Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan, with additional lyrics by Eric Idle.
Sung by Eric Idle and the Chorus.
If someday it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
Of society's offenders who may well be underground
And who never would be missed, they never would be missed.
There's interior designers, window dressers and that sort
And grubbers who retire in strings the minute they get caught
Or those who have their noses pierces, or men who die their hair
Or idiots who host chat shows and disc jockeys everywhere
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
They'd none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.
He's got them on a list, he's got them on a list
And they'd none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.
There's people with pretentious names like Justin, Trish and Rob
And the gynecologist, I've got him on the list
Or muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers, people who play golf
They never would be missed. They never would be missed.
Or waitresses who make you wait, accountants of all kinds
And actresses who kiss and tell and wiggle their behinds
And poncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up and women and by singing far to high
And who on close observance must be either stoned or pissed
I don't think they'd be missed, I'm sure they'd not be missed.
He's got them on a list, he's got them on a list
And they'd none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.
There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue
And the gossip columnist, I've got him on the list
Comedians and weightlifters and opera singers too
They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed.
Or traffic wardens, bankers, men who sell Venetian blinds
Or people who wear silly ties, Australians of all kinds
And nasty little editors who's papers are the pits
Who fill their rags with gossip and with huge and floppy.. er.. wrists
But anyway I think by now you must have got the gist
They'd none of them be missed. They'll none of them be missed.
He's got them on a list, he's got them on a list
And they'd none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.
