These are all the original airdates.
1/11/07
"Hydro"
6.10:
12/7/06
"Subterranean"
6.09: This was an interesting
episode, although not the best I’ve ever seen, but that’s not very surprising.
Anyhoo, one of Clark’s farm neighbors, McNally, became a meteor freak in
the last meteor shower and is now a scary dirt monster that can move underground
super fast and pull people under and kill them. Shudder. He also
pretty much enslaves illegal migrant workers from south of the border.
Two teenagers try to run from the farm and are chased by the dirt monster
and one kid gets sucked into the ground. Yikes. From there we
jump back to the Luthor mansion where Lex and Lana are having an awkward
post-proposal moment. She’s still thinking about her answer (thank
God). He tells her he wishes he could take it all back because he does
everything out of impulse, and he wishes he had taken the time to do it right.
She seems to think this is adorable or something, and there’s kissing and
crap. They really gross me out. Back in the real world, the kid
makes it to the Kent farm, and Clark decides after hearing Javier’s story
that he wants to help him and the other trapped workers. He does some
poking around McNally’s farm, but turns up nothing at first. The cops
are looking for Javier because they think he might be illegal. Martha
doesn’t know about Clark helping him and tells the cops just as much.
Clark basically lies to them, and they leave without finding the kid.
Martha finds out and is mad because she wants to obey the law. Understandable,
considering she is a public servant and all that. Clark goes back to
McNally’s and xrays the field. He sees many dead bodies in the ground
(CREEPY). He turns the cops onto McNally, and they start digging up
all the bodies. Chloe agrees to watch Javier at her apartment while
all this is going on (because Chloe is just helpful like that), and Jimmy
shows up for their date. Seriously awkward and icky at first because
he doesn’t notice that Javier is there and starts talking all mushy and stuff.
It was embarrassing. Javier asks if Jimmy is her boyfriend (while Jimmy
is calling for pizza), and Chloe smiles this odd, kind of sheepish smile
and says, “define boyfriend.” HMM. Since Luthorcorp owns McNally’s
land, Clark confronts Lex about all the bodies. “What do you think
Lana would do if she knew about this?” Clark asks calmly but dangerously.
Lex of course flat out denies knowledge of any of it. After dinner
at Chloe’s place, Jimmy tells Chloe very seriously that he knows why Clark
doesn’t like him. He says it’s because “you’re my girl and the poor
guy’s madly in love with you.” BWAH! Chloe wishes! It seems
obvious that Jimmy doesn’t fully comprehend Clark and Chloe’s relationship
and the fact that Chloe has always been the one madly in love with Clark
and not the other way around. Stupid Jimmy. Chloe laughingly
responds, “Clark and I are just friends, trust me. That ship is anchored
firmly at bay.” Does Ellen detect just the teensiest hint of wistfulness
there, Chloe? Yes, I think Ellen does. HEE. However, I
can’t help but wonder if the line about the “ship” being anchored isn’t a
subtle message from AlMiles about Chlark the ‘ship. I hope not, because
that’s annoying if it is. Anyway, Chloe tells Jimmy he makes her happy.
*eyeroll* Whatever you say, Chloe… While Chloe and Jimmy are
distracted, Javier makes a run for it because he wants to find his missing
friend and doesn’t know he’s dead. Clark comes back and discovers Javier
gone and is openly annoyed at Chloe. Maybe he’s more annoyed because
Jimmy is there…? When the cops try to arrest McNally, he disappears
into the dirt after threatening Clark and Javier, who still hasn’t turned
up yet. Lex is mad that McNally has gone off the radar—apparently,
McNally is one of the meteor freaks Lex has been studying, and Lex wants
him back. Chloe and Clark locate Javier, and Clark does the most insane
thing. The kid is about to be caught by the authorities, so Clark grabs
him and RUNS with him in full view of a couple people. I mean, SUPER
RUNS. With Javier! Javier’s all WHOA, and Clark is all, you can
keep a secret, and Javier’s like yeah. And that’s it. HUH?
Clark just uses his powers in front of somebody and it’s no big deal?!
Rubbish. Chloe and Jimmy find Javier’s mother, who Javier was supposed
to meet in the States but didn’t because he was taken to McNally’s farm.
McNally comes to kill Javier and Clark. Clark gets sucked down into
the dirt, and there’s a loud rumbling. Then Clark knocks McNally out
cold. Javier is reunited with his mother, and Martha decides to help
Javier get legal status. Lana has the brilliant brain wave that money
equals power, and she decides she wants to do good and help the workers on
McNally’s farm. Um, sure Lana. Whatever. At the Planet,
Jimmy tries to convince Chloe to move to Metropolis, and she says she’s happy
in Smallville. They’re going to kiss, but they are interrupted by Clark.
HEE. Jimmy has a serious talk with Clark about Clark’s Jimmy/Chloe
issues, and Clark is totally confused and doesn’t have any idea what Jimmy
is talking about. SO funny. Chloe seems torn between embarrassment
and amusement. After Jimmy is gone, she and Clark talk, and he’s feeling
like he doesn’t help the world enough, and she tells him, “I don’t know anyone
else who does more for this world than you.” Aww. Lana comes
by with paperwork for Martha—Luthorcorp will give the workers jobs—but Martha
isn’t there and she runs into Clark instead. Clark says that Lex is
just covering his butt, and Lana gets all cold and defensive: “Unlike some
people I know, Lex doesn’t lie to me.” And she gives Clark a pointed
look. Clark says it figures that Lex would send his “messenger” to
do this, and she says that she’s not his puppet that Lex can manipulate (HA
HA). There was a lot of hatred in that conversation. It hurts
me even though I’m so annoyed with Lana at this point. The episode
ends with McNally back under Lex’s control at 33.1. Ooooooh.
Oh, I can’t wait for Lana to find out that Lex DOES in fact lie to her.
WEE!
11/16/06
"Static"
6.08: This is the end of "Smallville" as I know it.
I feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room. *shudder*
I'll explain later in the review. The episode starts off with
Lana awake in bed (alone, thank heaven), and Lex coming in and spouting all
this stuff about how much she means to him, and she hesitates, but looks
like she's gonna say something. Then the security guys burst in and
say there's been a breach and they have to get Lex and Lana to the panic
room. On the way, something happens to Lex, he gets all static-y and
snowy and then sort of blinks out while Lana looks on in horror. Ugh.
Chloe tells Clark that she thinks another Zoner is causing trouble
in Seattle, and while they talk, Lana calls Chloe. She's freaking out
about Lex disappearing. Clark says he's still going after the Zoner,
and Chloe is uncertain he should. Shouldn't you help Lex? she implies.
And Clark says he basically cares more about stopping the dangerous
Zoner than helping Lex. Hmm, still a bit bitter are we, Clark? That's
okay. I don't blame him. Anyway, Clark goes to Seattle and discovers
that something has broken out of a cargo ship container and ripped all the
bones out of the crew. Eeewww. Lex regains consciousness in his
office, and he keeps jumping around the room, and he can't touch anything.
Chloe and Lana come in, and they can't see or hear him. Chloe
tries to help as best she can, and Lana wails about having doubts about the
relationship, but now she just wants to see him again. Lex tells her
he loves her even though she can't hear him. Gag. Chloe does more
research back at the Planet, and Jimmy offers his help. Chloe says
something like, "where's Clark when I need him?", and Jimmy gets a little
insecure and says, "What can that guy do that I can't?" HA, Jimmy. If
only your pea brain could comprehend what that guy can do that you can't.
But it was cute how Chloe missed having Clark around to help her out.
Turns out that Lex has been phased by a guy who escaped from Lex's secret
lab where he does experiments on people with meteor rock-related abilities.
This guy can phase between different frequencies and planes of existence,
and he phased Lex and is now going to try to expose the lab, 33.1. Clark
discovers that the Zoner is big, ugly, and eats bones. Pleasant. The
frequency guy nabs Lana and takes her to 33.1's location, and when they arrive,
the place has been cleared out completely. Lana, being the moron that
she's turned out to be, refuses to believe him and insists that they guy must
be mentally unbalanced and hallucinated the whole thing. The frustrated
guy disappears. Jimmy comes to the mansion with some radio equipment
and helps find the frequency that Lex is on. They can now hear what
he said earlier, including his "I love you" to Lana. She gets all teary
and moved and crap. Lana still can't see or hear Lex, but she knows
he can hear her, and she tells him that "you're more honest with me than anyone's
ever been." Oh, you poor, stupid, stupid girl. Clark lied to you for
good, to save your life, to protect you. Lex lies to you for evil and
to save his own ass. She goes on to say, "I miss you so much. I
don't know what I would do without you. I love you, Lex." And
then Ellen's heart breaks in half. And as if that wasn't horrifying
enough... "I love you too, Lana." "I don't want to have this baby without
you." And Ellen's head explodes. Lana. Is. Pregnant. With. Lex's.
Child. This is the worst possible thing that could have happened post-Clark/Lana.
Worst. The frequency guy shows up again and is about to kill
Lana, but Jimmy saves her. Lana grabs the guy as he phases to Lex's
frequency and disappears with him. Lex and the guy fight, and he ends
up stabbing the dude in the chest, killing him. Then there is a disgusting
reunion scene with all kinds of kissing and crap. Chloe and Jimmy don't
know what's happening and are desperately trying to find the right frequency
and bring them back. Jimmy finally succeeds, and Lex and Lana reappear.
Unfortunately. Clark is getting his butt kicked by the giant
angry bone-eating Zoner, and he's about to get his bones ripped out of his
body when someone with red glowing eyes, a penchant for Oreos, and the ability
to fly kills the Zoner and saves Clark's life. Clark (and Ellen too)
is puzzled. Chloe tries to tell Lana that maybe there is some truth
to the 33.1 thing, but Lana won't hear it. Lex finds out from Lionel
that he moved 33.1 and saved Lex's butt. Now Lionel wants in on the
project. Why? I thought you were good now, Lionel. You
confuse me. Clark is back, and Chloe comes up to the barn. Yay!
I love Chlark barn talks. Chloe was worried about him since she
never heard from him while he was gone. She knows something is troubling
him and wants him to tell her, his "most trusted friend and secret-keeper,"
but he won't let her in. I'm sad he won't tell her, but she really
is his most trusted friend, and it makes me have a little Chlark squee. :)
She leaves, and Clark discovers another Oreo in the barn. What
the heck? And finally...Lex and Lana talk about 33.1, and he still
maintains it never existed. Lana yet again proves what a simpleton
she's become by saying that if it did exist, she would understand why. The
meteor freaks have hurt so many people she cares about. Ugh, bitterness
does not become you, Lana. Then Lex leads her into his study, and it's
stuffed with roses and candles. How clichéd. Lex waxes
poetic before asking her to marry him with the biggest, shiniest diamond ring
evar. And that's where it ends. I'm sorry, but Lex and Lana make
me want to vomit and throw things at the TV. They have way too much
screentime every freaking week. I just hate them. And where the
hell is Lois? I miss her. She wasn't on last week's either. I
don't want to know how Clark will react when he hears that Lana is pregnant
and she and Lex are (probably) engaged. My dear, sweet, adorable farm
boy who lied to the girl he loved to protect her. My heart hurts for
him.
11/9/06
"Rage"
6.07: Another Oliver-heavy episode. Grossly enough,
the ep begins with Lois and Oliver making out, and she goes off to change
into nothing but a dress shirt, but while she's gone, Oliver hears a commotion
and rushes off to fight crime as the Green Arrow. Lois comes back
and discovers him gone and is annoyed. Green Arrow stops the hijacking,
but gets shot in the chest. Clark is down about Thanksgiving and his
dad being gone, and Lois complains about Oliver always disappearing. Clark
says he's sure she'll find someone better suited for her someday, hehe.
Lois mentions that a witness saw the bleeding Green Arrow, but that
he vanished after the witness went for help. Concerned, Clark goes
to Oliver and finds him uninjured, if a little off. Oliver gets angry
and yells at Clark because he wants him to get off his ass and use his abilities
to help people. Personally, I agree with Oliver, but that's neither
here nor there. As Clark is leaving, he notices Oliver shoot up with
some mystery drug. What Clark doesn't see is Oliver's hand instantly
healing from where he cut himself on broken glass (so that's how he got
shot but didn't die). Clark, in a fit of concern for Lois, tells her
about the drugs, and Lois insists that she can take care of herself. Ellen,
of course, loves Concerned!Clark's interest in Lois' well-being. :D Martha
wants Lionel to come to Thanksgiving dinner, and he says she's a part of
his life now, and they almost kiss! ACK. Later, Martha says
that there is something between them, but she's not ready to find out what
yet. Lionel is gracious and apologetic. Lionel is not evil anymore,
and I kinda like him, but I don't want him with Martha. Shudder. While
talking to Chloe about Oliver's drug thing, Lana arrives at the Planet and
sees Clark there, despite Chloe's attempts to shoo him away. It's
awkward and sad. Lana then collapses while talking to Chloe. Hmm.
Lois catches the Green Arrow in Oliver's apartment, and because of
the violent side-effects of the drug, he throws her around in a rage before
getting away. Lana goes to the doctor about her recent fainting and
headaches. Clark visits Lois in the hospital and wants to help. Yay.
The Green Arrow finds out that the guy who shot him is an ex-con living
at a halfway house owned by Lex, and the doctor who developed the healing
drug for Queen Industries is actually two-timing and being paid by Lex to
experiment with it on the ex-cons at the halfway house. Oooh. Chloe
and Clark track down the doctor, but find her dead, and they think the Green
Arrow did it. They think that the Arrow will be after Lex next (even
though it was probably Lex that actually killed her). Clark bursts
into the mansion looking for Lex, but he finds a despondent Lana there instead.
He immediately knows something is wrong, and she asks him if he ever
wishes he could go back in time and everything would be different. He
tries to touch her to comfort her, but she pulls away. "What did Lex
do?" Lana assures him that Lex didn't do anything, and Clark really wants
to help her, but she simply won't tell him what's wrong. It was a very
sad scene, and my heart breaks for Clark. I think that Lana found out
from the doctor that she's dying. Oliver as the Gree Arrow catches
up with Lex and tries to force him to sign away all his assets to charity
because Oliver believes he killed the doctor and was experimenting on the
ex-cons. Lex and Oliver have a gun-arrow standoff, and they shoot each
other. Oliver heals himself with the drug, and Clark arrives. Oliver
wants to let Lex die, and Clark injects him with the drug. It looks
for a moment like Lex actually is dead, but then he stirs, alive and healing.
Clark and Oliver are both gone when he fully wakes up. An Amber
Alert interrupted the show, and I missed a conversation between Oliver and
Clark, but I don't think I missed much else. At Thanksgiving at the
Kents', Chloe and Lois are there. Lionel and Oliver also show up, and
Lois forgives Oliver. She still has no idea he's the Green Arrow. Clark
asks Chloe if she knows what's up with Lana, and Chloe tells a bad lie and
says she doesn't. Lana is dying and Chloe totally knows about it, I'm
telling you. Clark then says he's most thankful for his mom and dad,
and it's very nice. Lana has her cold, lonely Thanksgiving dinner with
Lex. And that's the end.
11/2/06
"Fallout"
6.06: Bow Wow guest stars as a kid whose body gets
hijacked by a radioactive Phantom Zoner with a serious grudge against the
house of El. The Zoner starts looking for Clark, and Clark and Chloe
are researching to see where he might be. Clark suggests that Chloe
look up some information (something she obviously would have thought of already,
but Clark is prettier than he is smart), and she gives him an incredulous
look and says, "Um hello? Have you met me?" Of course
she already looked that up. It was a nice, funny Chlark moment. Clark's
friend from the Phantom Zone, Raya, shows up in Smallville, and she and Clark
spend most of the episode racing each other and bonding over being Kryptonian.
Bleh. And when the hell did Jimmy Olsen officially become Chloe
"wayward boyfriend"?! Jimmy thought he was onto something shady Lex
was into and Chloe was less than impressed with his investigative skills
("Lex is working with the Egyptians!"), but there was all this making out
and talk of Chloe's "boyfriend"! WTF?! The Bow Wow Zoner catches
up with Clark and tries to irradiate him to death, but doesn't succeed. He
has to retreat and power up again. Oh, and I have to say, when Chloe
meets Raya, she is less than excited. HEE. Raya determines that
Bow Wow is after the Box (the Kryptonian weapon thing that Lex has) because
it is actually the power cell for Brainiac. Bow Wow busts into the
mansion, kicks Lex's ass, and absorbs the Box's power, turning it into a
pile of ash. Clark shows up at the hospital to make sure that Lana
was okay (aww) and to see what information he could get about the Box. Lex
is slightly annoyed that Clark is there, and he leaves to get X-Rays. Lana
wants to know why Clark is really there, and says, "Stop trying to think
of excuses and tell me what's going on." Clark actually is semi-honest
for once, and asks Lana about the Box. She says that the guy came and
turned it into ashes. It was an interesting scene. Lots of tension,
and not the UST kind. Clark and Raya lure Bow Wow to his Fortress,
where Clark uses Jor-El's Superman crystal to destroy Bow Wow, but Raya is
killed. Oh, so sad. NOT. Bow Wow wakes up in the hospital
later, and he doesn't remember anything. Jimmy again proves how much
of an idiot he is, and nearly loses his job over the whole Lex conspiracy
with the Egyptians thing. So why is Chloe with him? I don't know.
Lana gave Lex an odd ultimatum earlier in the episode: "The Box...or
me." But the Box was destroyed before Lex could answer, so of course
he insists that he would have chosen her. "I guess we'll never know,"
says Lana. I don't understand her. First she wants Lex to make
a weapon out of the Box, then she wants him to give it up? She is such
a dingbat now, I swear. Finally, Clark (because of Raya's advice and
encouragement) uses the Superman crystal to repair the Fortress. He
promises Martha that after he finds every Zoner who got let out, he's going
to start the training Jor-El wanted for him. Superman Squee!!
10/26/06
"Reunion"
6.05: The episode was all about a boy that Lex and
Oliver knew in prep school whose death they were responsible for, albeit
indirectly. When two other guys who were mean to the kid die and
Lex is attacked, Clark and Lois do some investigating and discover that
the boy never died; he's been in a vegetative state for all this time. A
meteor rock-derived treatment wakes his brain up and allows him to astrally
project, and that's how he's been attacking people. He's about to
kill Oliver with one of his own arrows, but Clark arrives and gets between
the arrow (which emits a pulse that kills all electronic stuff in, like,
a ten foot radius or something) and Oliver. The electro-arrow goes
off and destroys the astral projection and fries the guy's brain. Kaput.
I enjoyed this episode because we got some really good Clark/Lois
interaction. She was investigating for a story she was going to write,
and Clark kept running into her because he's Clark and he always has to
save people who are in trouble. There was funny banter, and it was
awesome to kind of peer into the future and see what they would be like when
they're both reporters for the Daily Planet. Cute! Also, Chloe
and Clark check into who or what might have come back with Clark from the
Phantom Zone. I love it when Clark, Martha, and Chloe have secret
pow-wows about Clark's powers and stuff. They're a fun secret club,
and only Chloe gets to be in it. She does some hacking into Oliver
Queen's satellites (with his permission, of course, but under false pretenses)
and determines that yes, there are more Phantom Zone things that came to
Earth when Clark did. Yikes! I love Chloe. That girl is
too awesome for the rest of these people. The only worthy thing Lana
did all episode was get knocked on the head when Astral!Duncan attacked
Lex with a chandelier. While in the hospital, Clark shows up all worried
and mad at Lex for getting her hurt. Lex, however much it irks me,
makes a good point when he asserts that Lana got hurt a lot when she was
with Clark, too. Touché. So, funny Clois banter, happy
Chlark teamwork, and bittersweet Clana concern (with some minor, minor pining
on Clark's part thrown in for good measure).
10/19/06
"Arrow"
6.04: The Green Arrow is going around town robbing
rich people of stuff. He takes a necklace from Martha at an event
Lionel set up for her so she could meet important people. Lionel gave
her the necklace, remember. Anyway, Lois chases after the Green Arrow
(and she is clueless about him being Oliver Queen, *eyeroll*) and almost catches
him. She grabs a ring on a chain around his neck before he gets away.
Later, she and Oliver are talking about it and about how she's going
to write a big story on it for the Inquisitor. Clark comes to talk
about the robbery, and there is this hilarious exchange where Clark and Oliver
meet. It's obvious that they dislike each other. Oliver says
that he expected Clark to be geekier from everything that Lois has said about
him. Clark says something sarcastically nasty about Lois, and Oliver
says that living under the same roof with someone so beautiful as Lois, he
would mask his feelings with sarcasm too. HEE! Clark is all,
feelings? What feelings? No feelings. And Lois agrees.
Then she says that if the boys are done marking their territory, which,
to be clear, is not her, she's leaving. Oooh, triangle alert. Cute
cute cute. The rest of the episode is spent chasing the Green Arrow
around, and Chloe doing her best to resist scooping Lois' story. She
doesn't because she's a good girl :) With Chloe's help, Clark finds
out that Oliver is Green Arrow. Lois gets kidnapped by people who want
to know Green Arrow's identity, and they nearly kill her, but Green Arrow
saves her. She almost gets in a fight with him, but Clark secretly creates
a distraction and lets Green Arrow get away. Then he has a chat with
him about how Lois would feel if she knew her boyfriend was leading a double
life. Clark tells Oliver that he's going to end up hurting Lois eventually.
Aww, protective Clark. So, in the end, Clark and Oliver come
to an uneasy truce (because Clark knows his identity and Oliver has seen
Clark's powers), and the Green Arrow comes to be known as a modern-day Robin
Hood. Lois still has no idea it's Oliver Queen, and Clark makes Chloe
promise not to investigate the Green Arrow, and he won't tell her who he
is. Oh, and meanwhile there was some crap with Lex testing Lana's trustworthiness
again. He reveals the piece of Krytonian technology he's got and gets
Lionel to try to enlist Lana's help in destroying it, just to see what she'll
do. Predictably, Lana (because she's completely lost her mind) sides
with Lex and even resorts to blackmail to keep Lionel away from the "black
box." So she passes with flying colors, and in the end she tells Lex
that she doesn't want him to destroy the Kryptonian weapon, she wants him
to develop it so that when Kryptonians come back again, they can actually
fight them. How many freaking Kryptonians are left, for crap's sake?
What ever happened to Superman being the Last Son of Krypton? Sigh.
And that's it. So now Clark is involved, knowingly or unknowingly,
in three separate love triangles: Lex-Lana-Clark, Jimmy-Chloe-Clark,
and Oliver-Lois-Clark. That boy needs some male friends, I swear.
10/12/06
"Wither"
6.03: May I please vomit now? Seriously,
may I? Because ewwww. Essentially, Clark has to stop an alien
plant being from using human males as gestation units and killing all the
human females. The alien plant being got to Earth from the Phantom
Zone. Oops. The FotW was kind of dumb this time. Sigh.
However, the vomit does not come from the plant being. It comes
from the fact that there was an inordinately large amount of time spent
on Lana trying to puzzle out her relationship difficulties with Lex. He
wonders when she'll stop pretending that they're just roommates and if he'll
always be competing with Clark's ghost, she worries about her trust issues
and Lex's life in the spotlight. Lex has this costume party benefit
thing, and he and Lana go as Marc Anthony and Cleopatra. In the end,
Lana decides to "trust herself" and have sex with Lex. And Ellen fought
the urge to throw something at the TV. The only good thing about it
was Clark admitting that it bothers him to see Lex and Lana together, that
he feels he doesn't know either of them anymore. Sigh. Lois and
Oliver Queen are making rapid strides toward hook-upage. Through a
not-so-funny instance of mistaken identity and Martha needing to talk to
him about funding her senate platform, Lois ends up going to the costume
benefit with Oliver. He's Robin Hood and she is Maid Marian. Ha.
Ha. ('Cause he's the Green Arrow, get it?) So yet more
gagging there. Chloe, meanwhile, discovers the alien plant being while
making out with Jimmy Olsen, who procedes to tag along after her the entire
episode and persistently refers to her as "his girl." I got a kick
out of the fact that Clark was obviously uncomfortable with Jimmy and
Chloe's...whatever. Jealous, maybe? It irks me that Chloe seems
to be so into Jimmy. I guess the poor girl has to try to move on
from Clark somehow, but Jimmy? Ick. I also wonder how Clark
is going to react to Oliver Queen and Lois. Until next week!
10/5/06
"Sneeze"
6.02: In the aftermath of what the Metropolis
media has dubbed "Dark Thursday," Clark has been running around at night
in the city, cleaning up debris and trying to fix what he sees as his
mistake because he believes it was his fault Zod was released. He's
run himself ragged, and finds that he doesn't feel well. When he
sneezes and blows the barn door off and sends it flying about seven miles
(almost landing on a very astonished Lois' head), Martha figures that he
must have picked something up in the Phantom Zone and tries to make him
rest. Ha, yeah right. While Lois gets more and more suspicious
about the barn door incident, Lex is kidnapped by guys who work for Metropolis
newcomer, Oliver Queen. They saw what Zod/Lex did (all his powers and
such), and they want to know how. Lionel comes to Clark for help because
if pushed, Lex might divulge information about Clark's secret. Clark
goes to Lex's mansion to look for clues or something and runs into Lana,
who, perfectly in line with her New Improved Idiot Persona, has moved into
the mansion with Lex. Clark did not take this well. He did his
best to be cool and calm, but it bothered him. And why shouldn't it?
Lana was pissed off at him for pretending he wanted to find Lex for
Lex's sake, and kicked him out. Clark goes to Chloe for help about
Lex (and also about his sneezing problem, hehe), and they figure out where
to go to find Lex. The problem is that Lana does too, and further demonstrates
her stupidity by going there and getting herself captured. Clark ends
up saving them both without their knowing. The remaining lackey goes
back to Oliver Queen (an old boarding school "pal" of Lex's) and says that
Lex was a bust, but someone else with abilities was there. Oliver orders
him to find Clark. Hoo-ray, someone else after Clark. To recap
the relevant 'ship developments... Obviously, things are really bad
between Lana and Clark, now that she's living with Lex and angry at Clark
for continuing to keep secrets from her. Clark told Chloe that it's
like he doesn't even know Lana anymore. :( Chloe came to Clark's
rescue and managed to convince Lois that the barn door thing was a freak
weather incident, although this lead to Lois' writing a tabloid article about
it (she's discovered her calling: journalism! shock!). Chloe
and Clark are cute and funny no matter what they're doing, but at the end
they were getting ready to go on an outing together, complete with a kite!
Cute. OH, and AWESOME. Chloe makes the logical leap from
Clark's power sneezes to his being able to blow air really freaking hard.
She convinces him to try it, and he blows a steel door down. That's
also how he puts out the fire that's about to kill Lex and Lana. Yay!
Clark has his Super Breath power! Weee! NEXT WEEK: So,
apparently Oliver Queen is the Green Arrow. This is something I probably
should have known already, but I'm not as familiar with DC as I am Marvel.
So sue me. What really bothers me, though, is that Oliver has
designs on Lois. Bleurgh.
9/28/06
Smallville Season 6 Premiere: "Zod"
6.01: Lots to say here. While Clark was
trapped in the Phantom Zone, Lana was being roughed up by Zod/Lex, Chloe
and Lionel were desperate to find the dagger and stop Zod/Lex, and Martha
was trying to save herself and Lois after the plane crash by having a conversation
with Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude. Jor-El sent her and Lois
back to Smallville where Martha runs into Lionel who has left Chloe back
in Metropolis (with a gun, I might add). Martha and Lionel seem to
be really chummy these days (there was quite a hug when they saw each other
alive this ep), and I guess I don't really mind. Lionel isn't so bad
anymore. Anyhoo, Lana shows up after having realized how vital it
is that Zod/Lex be stopped by any means necessary, and she volunteers to
take the dagger and kill Zod/Lex herself because she can get close enough
to him to do it. She tries, but Zod/Lex sees her coming and gets really
steamed about it. Meanwhile, Clark has gotten out of the Phantom Zone
with a little help from an old associate of Jor-El's, and he brings this
crystal with him (with the Superman "S" on it!). He stops Zod/Lex
from killing Lana and from reshaping the planet's crust to be like Krypton.
He touches Zod/Lex with the Superman crystal and Zod is expelled from
Lex's body. Woo. So all is well once more, Lana is still nonethewiser
about Clark's powers, but she at least knows about Krypton and stuff. She
and Lex make up (BLEH). Honestly, my 'shipping for this show is really
flexible at this point, but that doesn't mean I have to like Lex/Lana. Because
I really don't. It sickens me, and Lana is getting on my nerves
for being with Lex. Ick. Anyway, Clark visits a recovering
Lois in the hospital, and he's very happy that she will be okay. There
was an adorable moment when Clark grabs Lois' hand because he's glad she's
okay, and they both look down and realize they are holding hands, so they
pull their hands away real fast and look awkward. SO CUTE. Chloe,
back in Metropolis, ran into Jimmy Olsen (the guy she slept with a while
back). He is clearly still interested. Gag. Clark and
Chloe finally meet up again toward the end, and they have an awkward discussion
about the fact that Chloe kissed him. She thought the world was ending,
and so on, so they tentatively agree that neither of them expects to hook
up or something. HEE. Oh, and Clark is totally NOT comfortable
with Jimmy Olsen's interest in Chloe. Like, not at all. All in
all, a jam-packed episode and a decent season opener. Things look
semi-favorable for both Clark/Chloe and Clark/Lois. Not so good for
Clark/Lana. They didn't even speak. But oh well. Until
next week. :)
4/27/05
Smallville: "Blank"
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE! This was actually a
pretty good episode despite the silly premise. Clark loses his
memories, and it's up to Chloe to run interference for him and his powers.
Watching Chloe explain Clark's powers to him and try to keep everyone
else from finding out was very interesting. Chloe is very, very
cool. There, I said it. Lois was funny, as usual, and Amnesia!Clark
can tell that they don't really get along. Never you mind the obvious
sexual tension there, Clark. Anyway, Amnesia!Clark falls in love
with Lana all over again, and asks her why it didn't work out with them
the first time. Well, conveniently enough, Lana has just broken
up with Jason, who, I must say, was getting pretty scary by this time.
Clark is horrified to learn that he was at fault for their stalled
relationship, and he promises that "this time" will be different. Lana
is fairly taken aback. "This time?" We don't get to see the
rest of the conversation. So, as the episode comes to a close, Lois
and the Sheriff woman see Clark use his powers and would have remembered
it if Amnesia Boy hadn't zapped their memories. Clark is appreciative.
He gets his memories back, but he does not remember anything from
when he was Amnesia!Clark. So, he still has no idea that Chloe
knows about his powers and is totally cool with them, and he apparently
doesn't remember that he and Lana made plans to discuss their relationship.
Slightly embarrassed, she's about to walk away, but Clark won't let
her walk away again. Even though he doesn't remember saying it before,
he ends up saying that "this time will be different." Lana is clearly
affected by the fact that Clark said the exact same thing he did earlier,
even though he has no memory of their earlier conversation. It's
a good effect, and it looks a lot like they are gonna give a relationship
another try! I could hardly breathe from all the squee. In the
end, Chloe tells Clark that the most surprising thing about Amnesia!Clark
was that he made exactly the same decisions as normal Clark, except for
one. Nervously, Clark says "What did I do?" Chloe looks him
right in the eye and says evenly, "You trusted me." BAM. AWESOME.
Really great moment. So, to recap, Lois is cool, Clark/Lois still
have chemistry, Chloe rawks socks, and Clark/Lana is BACK in FULL FORCE.
SQUEE.
4/20/05
Smallville: "Spirit"
Whoa. Okay. I need to regroup.
Just when I thought I was totally over Clark/Lana and fully committed
to Clark/Lois, they decide to throw this curveball at me. So,
it's the Prom, and Chloe is nominated for Prom Queen. Cute! So,
she has to go. Clark and Lana both independently decide not to go,
mostly because they had always planned to go together, but things didn't
turn out the way they planned. Lois, on the other hand, scoffs at
the suggestion that she go to the high school Prom with Clark. Well,
after the Freak of the Week body-snatching popular bitch inhabits some bodies
and wreaks a little havok, she inhabits Lois and gets Clark to take Possessed!Lois
to the Prom. I will say that watching Clark react to Lois all dressed
up and pretty was kinda awesome. He definitely gulped once or twice.
So they get to the Prom, and popular bitch leaves Lois and jumps
into Chloe's body so she can accept the title of Prom Queen (Chloe wins!
Yay!). Lois has no idea what she's doing at the Prom, and in
the cleavage-baring dress she's wearing no less. Clark doesn't have
time to explain because he has to stop Possessed!Chloe from blowing up the
school. He does, of course, and popular bitch's spirit dissolves.
Good friendship moments for Chloe and Clark in this ep. Anyway,
afterward and back at the Prom, Clark kind of nervously and awkwardly tries
to ask Lois to dance with him. She smiles, but says that she's not
the one that Clark wants to dance with. Clark follows her gaze, and
there is Lana, looking painfully gorgeous, arriving at the Prom despite her
earlier ambivalence about going. Clark goes over to her and asks, "May
I have this dance?" She gladly accepts, and there ensues one of the most squee-worthy
dances I've ever seen. They don't kiss or even get close to it, but
that's not what makes this dance so SQUEE. As they dance, you can see
and remember the way they used to be and why they were in love in the first
place. They held each other close, but a bit tentatively, and I just
died. Plus, there was eye-closing. Oh, and Jason saw them. Jason,
as it turns out, is working with his evil mother on her evil schemes to get
the stones, and he is, in fact, evil. HOORAY, Jason is evil! So,
good Clark/Lois, good Clark/Lana, and I'm back to being really, really conflicted.
:(
4/13/05
Smallville: "Onyx"
Eww. Okay, so boring episode overall. Lex has an accident
involving some iradiated meteor rock, he splits into the two halves
of his personality (one bad, one simpering weakling). Bad!Lex goes
running around wreaking havok on Smallville, and NO ONE can figure out
why he's acting so very, very badly. That is, until Chloe does some
illegal hacking and realizes the truth. Didn't that happen last
time on "Smallville" too? Never mind, the last new episode was
too long ago to even remember. Anyway, so Lex is BAD, and before
he is properly put back with his other self, he tries to extort Lana into
being his girlfriend! Yuck! He comes to her Talon apartment
and flirts like hell just before kissing her. She pushes him away
soon enough that I'm still fairly certain that she doesn't like him back.
He tells her that she has to be his girlfriend, or he'll close the
Talon and kick her out. Shudder. It was horrifying enough watching
Lex kiss Lana. Lois wasn't even in the episode (sad!), and there were
some nice friendship moments for Chloe and Clark. I'm dying for her
to tell him that she knows about his secret. Next Week: Dear God no!
It's the Prom!
10/29/02
Smallville: "Redux"
Erm,
after all the turmoil and angst we've had regarding the Lana/Clark relationship
lately, this ep was almost completely empty of it. The ep itself
was kinda boring. Freak of the Week girl who sucks the youth out
of people. They never even explained how or why she could do it.
She just died at the end and it was poof! all over. New principal
is mean. Yadda yadda. So, Clark and Lana spend lots of time together
talking about Clark's grandfather issues and Lana's paternity issues, but
no development on the relationship front. Clark is cute and supportive,
and Lana is cute and supportive. She did make a few jabs at him about
keeping secrets, but they weren't as angry as the ones she's made previously.
Basically, we're back to almost normal between those two now. I am
officially not worried about Chloe anymore, but I am continuing to be wary
of Lex. NEXT WEEK: Some bizarre thing where Clark and Lex are "brothers,"
or might be? What? I thought Clark was an alien... haha.
It'll be interesting.
10/22/02
Smallville: "Nocturne"
Ouch!
Clark is jealous of a poetry-writing freak boy who likes Lana a lot, and Lana
keeps throwing verbal daggers at Clark about being honest about things, especially
feelings. They are on very shaky terms right now. I'm not necessarily
worried, but things happen very quickly on this show. Oh! And
I think Lex might, just might, have been trying to put some moves on Lana!
I never thought he would actually turn out to be a threat, but I may have
to think again. He was reciting poetry and talking about how poetry
is all about seduction, and he had a very disturbing (to me, anyway) look
on his face. Clark or Chloe or someone interrupted, though. I'm
a little worried about what Lex is doing. She's underage, for crying
out loud!
10/15/02
Smallville: "Red"
Oh
my goodness gracious. This was a very painful episode in that
Clark was acting like a really evil jerk the majority of the time.
The most important parts were the C/L moments. Evil!Clark finally
tells Lana that he has feelings for her and that he wants to be with her.
Then, he kisses the heck out of her, and we know she enjoys it. Heck,
I would. Anyway, Evil!Clark and Lana go out on a date, but Evil!Clark
ditches her for skanky Jessie, a new girl in town. Lana is very hurt,
and Evil!Clark doesn't care. At the end of the ep, after Clark is
back to normal, he apologizes to Lana and tells her that the things he said
and did weren't him. She wants to know if the part about having feelings
for her was included. He can't explain, and she isn't surprised.
She's definitely angry, and even though she knows he's sorry, it isn't enough
anymore. She leaves him standing alone, and I am worried and dismayed
as to what this means for the future of Lana and Clark. They love
each other but they won't do anything about it. I think Clark needs
to tell Lana the whole truth. It would solve a lot of the problems
keeping them apart.
10/8/02
Smallville: "Duplicity"
Okay,
so instead of someone important like Lana finding out the whole truth
about Clark, Pete gets to instead. Blech, what a waste. Pete
finds Clark's missing spaceship and Clark is forced to tell him the truth.
It works out okay for them, but Lana and Clark's relationship is getting
strained because he won't tell her the truth. She tells him the
secrets only keep people apart, and she's right. I really, really,
really want Clark to tell Lana about his powers.
10/1/02
Smallville: "Heat"
I
am so glad that the Chloe/Clark seems to be dead and buried. And
eww. Why does Krista Allen always have to play a slut on every TV show
she guest stars on? Maybe it's the "Baywatch: Hawaii" acting roots...
Anyway, nothing much going on here, except Clark longs for Lana some more,
and Lana finally breaks up with Whitney! Yes! And Clark has
heat vision. He figures it out when he realizes that thinking about
something he wants, like Lana, makes it start. Cute that he thinks
of her to make the heat vision work.
9/24/02
Smallville: "Vortex"
Oh.
My. Gosh. So, Clark saves Lana and it's all very scary and dramatic
and cute. Then, he drops her off at the hospital and makes sure
that she's okay. The whole episode was scary. Clark was trying
to find his missing dad and keep his secret from everyone all at the same
time. Everything turned out relatively okay, but the most important
things are these: Chloe "breaks up" with Clark in the hope that he'll put
up a fight for her, but he actually agrees with her, and then Lana goes to
see Clark and tries to get him to tell her the truth about what happened in
the tornado. She says that she remembers seeing him in the truck and
then feeling him put his arms around her and him telling her that it was
all gonna be okay. He, of course, denies the whole thing. She
tells him that he can't hide forever. EEEE! I am gonna go nuts
if they don't finally get together this season.
5/7/02
Smallville episode:
"Crush"
News:
It's all over, folks. Over. There's a lot I gotta report
for this one, so be prepared. So, it starts out with Clark "suddenly"
finding out that Chloe has some major feelings for him. He then starts
to think that he might like her, too. He gets jealous of a guy that
Chloe is also interested in. Clark obsesses over whether or not
he should try to go for it with Chloe. Meanwhile, Lana is starting
to question her relationship with Whitney. Clark decides to talk
to her about his Chloe issue, and here's how the exchange goes (roughly):
So,
Chloe likes me.
Really? And how do you feel about her?
I'm thinking we could be more than friends.
Oh.
GAH!!! While Clark
is saying all this, Lana is tearing up! She finally realizes who
she wants, and it's too late! Then, later in the episode, Clark and
Lana talk again about it. Lana mentions that sometimes, the right
person has been in front of you all along and you just didn't see it.
Clark says that he already made the mistake of letting his opportunity pass
him by with someone, and he doesn't want to make the same mistake twice.
They are both speaking metaphorically, no specific names mentioned, but we
know and they know and we know that they know that they're talking about
themselves. It was so sad, I wanted to cry. Heck, Lana was
about to. Clark wants to go with Chloe to this journalism convention
in Metropolis, and they lightly call it a "date." Blech. So,
then Whitney's dad dies at the end. Lana and Clark stare at each other
from across the cemetery for what seemed like five minutes. THIS IS
SO FRUSTRATING. I hate Chloe, and I knew all along that she would make
trouble. Damn her. :(
4/30/02
Smallville episode:
"Drone"
News:
My, but Lana and Clark spend a lot of time together! It was lovely!
Lana convinced Clark to continue running for President because she told him
that he's honest, trustworthy, and has an innate sense of justice.
Clark saves her from the killer bees, and they work on his speech together.
He tries to encourage her in keeping the Talon running. At the end,
even though he loses the election, she makes him read his speech for
her when they are alone in the barn. CUTE. They just keep
spending more and more time together, and she keeps giving him those LOOKS.
You know the ones I mean. It's so silly! I just wanna scream
and throw things at the TV: "Just kiss him, for cryin' out loud!"
4/23/02
Smallville episode:
"Reaper"
News:
HEE! Kinda scary episode, but there was some Supportive!Clark when
Lana was worried about Whitney's dad being sick. There were, of
course, some little looks shared, and we got SweetAndGenerous!Clark when
he got Lex to help Whitney and his dad experience their dream of Whitney
playing football with the Metropolis Sharks. Lana caught on to this
fact really quickly, and she stared at Clark for a few moments before she
kissed him on the cheek! That makes three cheek kisses, a "possessed"
kiss, and and two almost-kisses for Clark/Lana this season! Now, if
only Whitney and Chloe would disappear off the face of the Earth...
4/16/02
Smallville episode:
"Stray"
News:
Hmm, minor thing, but still important. A kid who reads minds is
staying with Clark's family, and he reads what Lana's "secret" is.
He tries to tell Clark what it is, saying that it's about Clark, but our
favorite farm boy refuses to hear it. At the end of the ep, the kid
tries again, saying "Are you sure you don't want to know how Lana feels
about you?" and grinning like an idiot. Clark says that he'd rather
find out for himself. I was mad. I wanted to know! :) NOTE:
Chloe's feelings for Clark, thanks to the dumb kid who read her mind,
are now out in the open and completely known to Clark. This is really,
really worrying me. :(
3/19/02
Smallville episode:
"Nicodemus"
News:
HOLY FREAKING MOTHER OF HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH.
Okay, so I realize that Lana was completely under the influence of the "spitting
flower" and that all of her inhibitions were removed so that she really
wasn't herself, but STILL! She was flirting her butt off with Clark,
and then she strips to her underwear in front of him. And
then, they KISS. A lot. Also, Lana asks Clark if he is in love
with her, and he doesn't answer, but his body language says "yes."
In the end of the episode, after Lana and everyone else who got flower
spit on them is all better, she doesn't remember anything she did.
Stink. It was really cute when she asks Clark if she did anything embarrassing
she should know about, and he only smiles his really adorable smile and
says she didn't. CUTE. I think this is the best episode of Smallville
I have ever seen.
3/12/02
Smallville episode:
"Zero"
News:
CRAP CRAP CRAP and again CRAP! I set my VCR to tape, and I taped
the wrong !@*&!%$ channel! I read summary, and I am really sad
that I missed the episode. It sounded like a great one, Clark/Lana
stuff aside. As far as C/L goes, he got to comfort her, and I missed
it! DAMN!
2/26/02
Smallville episode:
"Kinetic"
News:
BIG FAT UH-OH. Okay, I have a feeling the writers like to tease.
This ep was full of fuel for Clark/Lana shippers, Clark/Chloe shippers, Lex/Lana
shippers, Clark/Lex shippers, and the list goes on and on... I am
extremely worried. Chloe is probably the biggest problem so far,
but Lex is suddenly rearing his ugly, bald head. On the bright side,
Lana and Clark were moment-y again. She came to his barn place and
talked to him. AND, she gave him a few of those looks.
You know the kind I mean. The look that makes you want to scream: "Just
kiss him, for crying out loud!" Good ep, but still worried about C/C,
L/L...
2/12/02
Smallville episode:
"Leech"
News:
Hee! Clark loses his powers to this other boy in a lightning accident(he
gets them back, don't worry), and he ends up having to stop the crazy boy
even though he might die in the process. Clark kisses Lana on the
cheek because he doesn't know if he's going to come back alive. CUTE.
Clark and Lana had a lot of interaction this episode. They've been
hanging out a lot lately. I'm enjoying it immensely. Chloe still
presents a problem, though...
2/5/02
Smallville
episode: "Hug"
News:
Big stuff! Lana and Clark had a fight! Oooh, it was a good
one, too. She was mad that Clark wasn't supporting Whitney in some
issue. Clark, of course, knew the whole story and therefore couldn't
fully support Whitney. I was getting scared that they wouldn't make
up by the end of the ep, but Lana finally came to her senses and called
a truce. Cute!!!!
1/29/02
Smallville episode:
"Shimmer"
News:
HOLY TOLEDO!!!! Okay, totally unexpected but completely wonderful
near kissbetween Clark and Lana. It was so near, I think
there might have actually been some lip grazing, like in the X-Files movie.
They were interrupted by Nell. I'm actually glad they were.
Lana was vulnerable because of Whitney, and I didn't want Clark/Lana to
happen under those circumstances. Also, there was so much SUBTEXT.
Clark all but said "I LOVE YOU," and Lana seemed to be interested.
There was a near confession in Clark's barn. He's such a stand-up guy,
he didn't want to take advantage of her, so he told her to talk to Whitney
because Whitney needed her. Still, even though it was rather bittersweet,
it was VERY CUTE.
1/15/02
Smallville episode:
"Rogue"
News:
Hmm. I think we're beginning to see the development of a potent Chloe/Clark/Lana
triangle. There was some cloaked honesty on Chloe's part regarding
Clark's feelings for Lana. Lana's a smart girl, so I think she's
starting to really get the idea. Then, there was a little, and emotional,
conversation between Chloe and Lana in which both girls assured each other
that they are both just friends with Clark, nothing more. Yet, it's
evident that Chloe feels pretty bad that Clark doesn't reciprocate her implied
feelings. When the question of her status with Clark is put to Lana,
she just acts a bit strange, answering a tad more emphatically than she
probably had to. It was hardly noticeable, but it was there just the
same. Overall, at least the idea of a relationship with Clark is in
Lana's head now. Chloe could present a problem, though...
