If the person I was in high school could see me now, I’m sure she’d laugh her ass off.  I mean, who wouldn’t?  I’m Cordelia.  I’m mean.  I am a badass, boy-slaying bitch.  I know what I want, I get it, and I toss it away when I’m done with it.  I don’t mess with anything complicated or potentially embarrassing.  That’s how most of the people I’ve ever known in my whole pathetic life undoubtedly still think of me.  I’m sure that if they could see me now—right now—they would hurt themselves with the laughing.
    Never, ever in my life did I see myself here.  Sure, I wanted to jump his very hot bones when I first saw him, but that all changed when I found out he was a vampire.  He was also very taken.  Taken with a certain blonde slayer with dubious fashion sense.  After I figured all that out, I got over him really quickly.  I kept my distance.  He was a bloodsucking freak, after all.  Hell, he attacked me when he went all non-soul again!  He and I did not mix.  He was still hot as hell, but he was Buffy’s problem.
    Then I moved to Los Angeles.  The amazing odds of my bumping into him one night at a party have already been pointed out to me, and I’m not about to argue with them.  It was just a day job; something to tide me over until my international super-stardom kicked in.  Even after it turned into a career, albeit a gooey, messy, and excruciatingly painful career, but a career, I still never in my wildest dreams pictured myself here.
    If I could see me now, I would have myself committed.  I, High School Cordelia, would know that never in any universe would I have my arms around Angel’s neck in a very sexy way, never would my lips be inches from his, never would my heart be skipping beats all over the place because of him, and never would the words "I," "love," and "Angel" be in the same sentence.
    To hell with it.  I’m not badass, boy-slaying Cordelia anymore, so she can just go be shocked and disgusted at my crazy behavior somewhere else.  I don’t have time for her, anyway.  I’ve got better, handsome vampire things to do…