I can feel her heart pounding, loud and steady.  I can feel her.  I can’t see her, but I know she’s asleep.  Her eyes are closed, and sometimes her lashes tremble.  She’s wearing a pair of my sweat pants, the old gray ones.  They probably smell like me, but I doubt she cares.  The white tank undershirt she’s wearing is also mine.  It’s a funny feeling, knowing that she’s wearing my clothes.  It’s almost as if she’s wearing me.
    She was a kid.  Buffy was, too, but I was too enamored with her to admit it to myself.  She…I never really took her seriously.  She was just the rich girl, the conniving one trying to make the whole world worship her.  She was good at what she did, I’ll give her that.  I never disliked her, not really.  I didn’t pay enough attention to her to decide whether I liked her or not.  She was just…there.
    I tried to kill her a few times.  I wonder sometimes how she ever got past that.  After I was sent back, she almost never entered my mind.  Even if she had, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference to me.  She was still the evil rich girl whose only new qualification was the fact that I had attacked her.  Besides, all I could see was Buffy.  There was nothing else then.
    How did I get here, right here where I am right now?  If some oracle had told me three years ago that I would be here, I would never have believed it.  I probably wouldn’t have laughed.  It’s really not very funny.  It’s more…scary.  At least, that’s how it would have struck me three years ago.
    She was just a secretary, and it was only supposed to be a temporary arrangement.  I even found her a little irritating, but Doyle liked her, so I wasn’t going to argue.  Then the visions passed to her, and I suddenly I really needed her.  I still can’t believe she kissed me.  That was awkward, to say the least.  I’ll never forget the way I felt when she had her first vision in front of me.  It was a mixture of guilt, concern, and exhilaration.
    How the hell did I get here?  She’s Cordelia, the heartless rich girl from Sunnydale who came to Los Angeles looking for a movie career and got a seer’s career instead.  She’s Cordelia, the only woman who’s ever really made me nervous.  She’s Cordelia, and right now she’s lying next to me in my bed, one arm around my middle, body pressed against mine, and all I want to do is feel to her heart beat.  I can feel her lips and her warm breath on my bare shoulder.  And she’s wearing my clothes.  So, how did I get here?  To be perfectly honest, I don’t give a damn.