"I’m sorry, I can’t help you," he said without looking up.
    "There is no force on this Earth that could ever make me need help from you.  I am not the one who needs your help, so if it’s me that’s stopping you, get over it," she fired back at him.  "There are innocent people who are going to lose their lives in very short order if someone does not do something."
    "Then do something."
    "As much as I hate admitting this time and time again, this is not something that I or even a couple dozen good officers can handle," she said, and she was not as forceful this time.
    "You know, you may not be willing to believe this because you still can’t stand to be in the same room with me, but I do care what happens to people," he said, suddenly very animated.  "But I can’t do everything for everyone.  And-"
    "And you would rather not do favors for me, is that it?"
    "And as much as I hate admitting this time and time again, there are some things that even I can’t handle alone!"
    "Well, that’s very humble of you to say, but if you’re not going to help, I’m going to leave."
    "If you are still this disturbed by my presence, then you’ve got bigger things to worry about than my inability to help you."  His voice was so low it was almost a whisper.
    "I thought we covered this.  I don’t now, nor do I ever expect or want help from you.  As I recall, the last time you ‘helped’ me, I lost a few pints of blood." She narrowed her eyes, anger glinting in them.
    "I didn’t have a choice.  It was the only way to save your life," he said, and then he was silent once more.
    "That was a good deed, wasn’t it?  Another step on your way to humanity, right?" Her bitterness was painfully evident.
    He looked up at her, but didn’t speak.  She looked back at him, and the tension in the room mounted.  Her cell phone rang, causing them both to start slightly.  She turned away from him to take the call.
    "Lockley.  How many?  Jeez.  Okay.  I’ll be there in ten.  I know, but I’m coming anyway."
    She looked back at him again.  She couldn’t tell if he’d overheard her, but his eyes were expressionless, fixed on the carpet.  She scowled, shook her head, and turned on her heel to leave.  She was more than a little surprised when she felt his hand gently but firmly close around her elbow.  She whirled around to face him and found herself looking him squarely in the eye.  The measureless depths of those dark brown orbs were sparking with his anger.
    "Everything, everything, is a step toward my humanity or backward from it.  Every thought, every look, every action, every feeling, everything.  I don’t have a choice in the matter." He began to get gradually louder.  "I don’t exist for anything other than to atone for the hundreds of years of suffering I caused.  I can fight and save lives and care until it tears me in half, and redemption, my humanity, will still be well beyond my reach!  This knowledge rings in my ears every second, and yet I still fight."
    Here he paused to let go of her elbow.  She wanted to back away from him, but he took her hand and pressed it over his heart.
    "Don’t ever accuse me of saving lives, especially your life, just so I can be one step closer to an impossible goal.  This isn’t beating.  It doesn’t pump blood to my body, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel.  If I didn’t care about anything or anyone but myself as you insist I don’t, you wouldn’t be here."
    She could do nothing but shake her head slowly.  He held her hand against his heart with an almost savage pressure.
    "I regret that you had to get hurt, but I do not regret saving your life.  I don’t expect you to believe that I care about you, but that doesn’t stop it from being true," he said, his voice back to almost a whisper.
    "Angel," was all she could say.
    "You have a crime scene to get to, Kate."
    Angel let go of her hand.  She didn’t move.  She didn’t know whether she should be afraid, angry, or neither.
    "I can’t tell you how to feel, Kate," said Angel, his face expressionless.
    "No, you can’t," she said, slowly and softly, and she wondered for a fleeting moment whether he had read her mind.  "And you don’t need to.  I’ve got a crime scene to get to."
    "Until we meet again," he said, but there was nothing jovial in the remark.
    "Right."
    Finally, as if just remembering where her hand was, she took it off his heart and turned to go.  She went a few steps, but suddenly, she turned around again.  Angel was a little surprised.  He had fully expected her to be repulsed by him, as usual, and leave at once, yet here she was, not leaving.  Kate slowly came toward him, cautiously.  She was frowning slightly.  Angel’s face was unreadable.  She continued advancing toward him until she was just inches away.  They stood stubbornly staring at one another for several moments.
    "Did you know that I had a bit of a crush on you before I found out you were a vampire?" she said, stepping back from Angel.  The rhetorical question was delivered wryly, and she laughed softly, almost bitterly.  "The first time I met you in that stupid club, I was disgusted with myself that I actually had to try not to act like a swooning schoolgirl.  I knew absolutely nothing about you, but not even that fact could stop my heart from beating so fast and loud I was sure all of Los Angeles could hear it.  After that evening, I was glad that I would never see you again.  I couldn’t let myself be that vulnerable once more.  Imagine my surprise when I ran into you again, and again, and again.  For the first time in a very, very long time, I really began to trust someone.  All the while, I was trying to ignore my growing attachment to you, trying being the operative word.  If I hadn’t found out the hard way that you were a vampire, I probably would have failed.  Then, I decided I hated you."
    "Because you found out what I did as Angelus," he said, solemn.
    "Not exactly," said Kate.
    "Because I didn’t save your father, then," Angel said, lowering his gaze.
    "Yes and no," she said, averting her own gaze.  "The fact that you’re a vampire didn’t have very much to do with it, really.  Deep down, I knew you were on the right side of the fight between good and evil, but you lied to me.  You knew I trusted you, and you took advantage of that.  When my father died, I blamed you because I still felt betrayed, and my father’s death felt just like another betrayal.  I couldn’t believe that someone I trusted so much would lie to me about something so important and then stand there and watch my father die!  When he died, I might as well have died too, because I had never felt so completely alone in this terrible city as I did then.  Of course, I took up my crusade against the forces of darkness as a way to vent some of my anger towards you even though you’re not evil."  She chuckled cynically.  "And through all of this, I still could not get the image of those soulful brown eyes of yours out of my head.  I could be as angry as ever with you, but those same old feelings would still be gnawing away at me.
    "And then, you saved my life.  I remember firing my gun and praying that maybe it would stop you.  When it didn’t, I was more terrified in that single moment when you…I was more terrified than I’ve ever been and ever will be.  Then you said those words to me, and I knew once and for all that I could never distrust you ever again.  All my fear was gone because I knew you were trying to protect me, but I was still too prideful to change my behavior toward you for the better.  Pride was about all I had then."
    "And now?" said Angel very seriously.
    "Now?" Kate raised her eyebrows, amused.  "Right now, my heart is beating so fast it almost hurts.  There are about a dozen large butterflies wreaking havoc in my stomach, and I have to remind myself to breathe sometimes.  I’ve clearly thrown caution to the winds and totally forgotten about my pride and professionalism, and depending on how the next few minutes go, I could be feeling very embarrassed very soon."
    "Kate, don’t be embarrassed."
    "Oh, well in that case, I think embarrassment is unavoidable at this point," she said, clearing her throat and looking away.
    "Do you know what my first thought was when I saw you sitting at that bar?" Angel was still pensive.
    "‘What a pathetic loser?’"
    "No," said Angel, almost indignant.  "I saw you and I thought ‘she’s definitely a strong person.’  Actually, the very first thing I thought was ‘damn, she’s beautiful’, but my immediate thought after that was that you must be strong enough to handle yourself.  I was right.  On both counts."
Kate just shrugged and half-smiled.
    "I should’ve been at that crime scene about five minutes ago.  So, I’ll see you when I see you.  I’m not sure what the point of this whole exchange was, but I feel better now anyway," she said, but her tone said the opposite.  She glanced at him once more before she turned on her heel and left.
    Angel listened to her footfalls on the marble floor of the hotel lobby get softer and softer as she got farther away.  Soon, all was silent again.  Then, Angel made a decision.  He was almost surprised to hear the rapid noise of his own footsteps as he ran down the stairs and into the lobby.  He heaved open one of the tall double doors at the hotel entrance and rushed out into the night.  He looked up and down the street until he caught sight of her heading toward an unmarked patrol car.  Angel took a few long strides to catch up with her, but she didn’t seem to hear him.
    He caught one her hands in his own, quickly pulling her towards him until his arms were encircling her waist.  Without hesitation, Angel pressed his lips to hers.  Immediately, Kate recoiled in shock.  She pulled back a little, but did not try to get away from him.  Instead, she looked into his eyes, deciding.  Angel did not move.  Tentatively, Kate leaned forward until she was just a fraction of an inch away from him.  It seemed they would remain that way forever, just hovering on the edge of something perhaps neither truly understood.  Then, as if by accident, their lips grazed one another momentarily, and Kate gave into the kiss.  It was not a long kiss, but a powerful one.  When it was over, Angel pulled her closer so that his mouth was near her ear.  Kate was a bit confused, but she smiled when she heard what Angel whispered to her.
    "That was the point, Kate."