Chapter 22
"For the tenth time, Lucy, I have to go home tonight. At least for a while. I’ll be back, but it will be late."

"I want you to go home and tell Eve to get the hell out!" Lucy was in a full rant. Ryan wished she drink the damn drink. Two drinks and two tranquilizers seemed to do it last night, maybe three tonight.....

"I’m tired of this. I gave up everything for you! What have you done? Once again, the great Dr. Kevin Collins gets off with the easy stuff, and shuts down on the harder things? I’m not going there again!"

Ryan had no idea what that meant, but he wasn’t in the mood. He had to go out, and he couldn’t let her stop him. It was time to put the pieces of the puzzle out for Kevin. But he had to shut her up. She wouldn’t stay here alone in this mode.

Finally, it hit him. It worked before, why not really use it this time? Standing, he pulled her to face him. "You want me to open up with the hard stuff?" Hoping he’d repeated her words right, he was relieved when she nodded.

"Fine." Letting go of her, he ran up the stairs. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Digging her ring out, he came down and stood in front of her.

"You’re right.

You did what I asked you to. I know I made promises to you. I’m going to keep them, Lucy. This is yours. I told you I made a mistake, and I meant it. I love you, and I always have. I want you to be my wife." Holding out her ring, he got the response he was looking for.

She began to cry. "I love you. I’ve always wanted to marry you. We’re going to do it this time? Really?"

When he nodded, she pulled him to her by his shirt and kissed him.

Picking up his glass, he handed hers to her. "To us. Forever." He emptied his, and was actually grateful she did the same. There were times he wanted to pretend she was his, and wondered how Kevin had walked away from her. Then, at times like this, he wondered how Kevin had walked away without killing her. He’d joked about a room at the hospital ready and waiting for her. It wasn’t completely a joke.

He kissed her again. "I want you. Now. Before I go tell Eve to get the hell out of our home."

Lucy pulled him by the hand up the stairs. Knowing by tomorrow afternoon Kevin would be there, Ryan took his time with her, enjoying her body. Lying beside her, he ran his hands all over her, watching her shiver. He made love to her again, savoring every moment of it. Lying on top of her, inside her, with her hands entwined in his hair, Ryan actually felt himself regretting it was about to end. If he could keep her quiet, she was an incredible woman. If she would only stop calling out Kevin’s name. It kept reminding him what was really going on.

After, he held her for a few minutes, watching her fall asleep. She should sleep through the night. "I’ll be back before morning. I promise."

"Okay." Kissing him once, she rolled over.

Chapter 23
When Kevin pulled up to the house, he saw Lucy’s car. The downstairs lights were on, and he went inside.

"Lucy?"

No answer.

There were dishes in the sink, glasses on the table, he stopped when he realized Lucy’s shirt was on the floor next to the table. "What the hell is she up to?"

It looked like she’d been staying there. But why? And with who? Quietly, Kevin went upstairs. When he entered the bedroom Lucy was in, he was expecting her to be there, but he was still suprised. Curled up under the blanket, she was sound asleep.

"Lucy?" He shook her gently. "Lucy?"

When she didn’t respond, he shook her a little harder. "Lucy! Come on, wake up."

She rolled over, but didn’t open her eyes.

"Lucy!" Kevin began to worry. She didn’t sleep this soundly. Even if she was exhausted.

Sitting on the bed, he pulled her up. "Come on, Lucy. Wake up. Look at me."

Finally, she looked at him, not really focusing. "I thought you weren’t going to be back till late. I’m tired." She pulled away from him and laid back down.

A thought suddenly occurred to Kevin, but he shook his head. It couldn’t be. There was no way. Was there? She seemed to have been expecting him BACK. But he’d never been there.

One thing he knew, he had to wake her up and get some answers out of her. After shaking her for a few more minutes, he realized there was something wrong with her. He had no idea what was going on, and he didn’t want to make a move until he did.

Knowing he wasn’t going to get any answers out of her, he began to search the house.

Remembering the glasses on the table, he went back downstairs. She just might have drank too much. The bottle was still half full, and there wasn’t another one in the trash.

He began to wonder if she’d been drugged. Running back up the stairs, he grabbed her and shook her. "Lucy! Come on! Wake up and look at me!"

Her eyes opened again. "What?"

"What are you doing here?"

His question confused her. "Sleeping. At least I was." Her words were slurred, and he knew without a doubt she’d been drugged. Holding her face with his hand, he looked at her eyes. They weren’t focused.

"Kevin, what’s wrong? She throw a fit?" Putting her hand on the side of his face, she leaned to him and kissed him. "I love you. It’ll be okay. Come back to bed." She laid back down, and as she did, Kevin looked at her hand.

When he saw her ring, he knew. He could barely breath, and the absolute horror of what had happened sunk in. "Oh, God. Lucy." His desire to wake her faded. Let her sleep as long as she wanted. The longer he could wait to tell her this, the better right now. When she realized what she’d.... what he’d.... Kevin couldn’t put the thoughts together.

Then it occurred to him. She’d expected him back. Not him. Ryan. He’d come back to climb in bed with... Touching her head, he knew he had to get her out of there before that. Wrapping the blanket around her, he started to pick her up. When he heard the car, he put her down and went downstairs. Ryan wasn’t going to touch her again.

Ryan saw Kevin’s car and panicked. Kevin was there, Lucy had to know.

They could both be waiting to ambush him. Turning off the car, he went around the back of the house and went in by way of the kitchen. Waiting in the living room for him, at the bottom of the stairs, was Kevin.

"A little early, but expected. Not to mention welcome." Walking out of the kitchen, Ryan waved.

Shaking from anger, Kevin took a step towards him. "What did you do to her?"

Ryan smiled. "Everything. She is a wild one. But then, you know that, don’t you."

An image of Lucy wrapped around his brother make Kevin’s stomach turn.

But she was upstairs, next to unconscious. "I mean what did you give her?"

"Multiple orgasms. But," Ryan snapped his fingers, laughing at Kevin’s reaction. "let me guess, that wasn’t what you were talking about, right? Relax. I gave her a few tranquilizers. She’ll be fine. I just needed some time to get out and do some things. And I didn’t want her to look for me. I mean you."

"Why? Why her?" Kevin had so many questions he didn’t know where to begin.

"Because you still consider her yours. I’ve watched you for months, now.

Everytime you are near her, you try to inconspicuously stare at her. I saw how angry the sight of her and Baldwin made you. So you’ve been avoiding her. It’s hard as hell to follow two people who won’t go near each other." Keeping the door close to him, he took a few steps on the edge of the room. "But it sure makes it easy to play with them. As far as she goes, I called her and asked her to meet me. It took about five minutes to figure out how much she still loves you. Half that to get her to leave Baldwin. Just made her a few promises.

Gave her back the ring you so cruelly took away from her. Told her she could have you.

After that, she was as easy as I’d heard she was." Ryan was rewarded for his efforts with Kevin’s rage.

"Why couldn’t you stay dead? I watched you die!"

"How many times? Don’t you know by now that you can’t kill the boogeyman? Isn’t that what everyone thinks I am? It’s so easy to convince people of what they want to believe.

You wanted to believe it was me you saw die, just as badly as Lucy wanted to believe you wanted her back."

"Who was at the funhouse?"

Ryan shrugged. "He was he was a 6 foot tall Roman Candle."

"Ryan!"

"I really have no idea who he was. He was lucky enough to resemble us, and stupid enough to hitch hike. I’d had him tied up. I knew I would have to disappear. The plan was to take Georgie. But…" He pouted at Kevin. "You never let me have any fun."

Pacing back and forth in front of the door, Ryan began to laugh again.

"But I had fun with Lucy. You couldn’t stop me there!" Folding his arms across his chest, he grinned at Kevin. "And I had lots of fun. Want to hear all about it? What I did to her? What she did to me? The way I made her scream-"

Kevin lost control. Running across the room, he charged Ryan. Both men fell into the wall and landed on the floor. For a few seconds, Ryan was actually surprised. Recovering quickly, Ryan pushed Kevin back and hit him. Catching a glancing blow to the side of his head, he moved away from Ryan and stood.

In one move, Ryan stood and ran into Kevin, who fell into the coffee table. Before he could get to his feet, Ryan ran for the stairs.

Knowing he was headed for Lucy, Kevin went after him, and caught him halfway up the stairs. "You’ll never touch her again!"

Kevin tried to drag Ryan back down the stairs, but Ryan was not about to give up.

Struggling against Kevin, he pushed with his legs. Kevin fell back down to the first floor and laid there, stunned. It was the chance Ryan needed.

"You’re not going to stop me this time." Taking him by the shirt, Ryan slammed Kevin’s head into the floor. The floor shook from the impact, and Kevin’s eyes closed.
 

Chapter 24
When Kevin opened his eyes, the first thing he realized was that he could move his arms.

Slowly, he began to remember where he was. And what happened. As his eyes cleared, Ryan laughed. "You’re awake. For a few minutes there, I was afraid I’d done some serious damage."

"Lucy."

"Oh, she’s still upstairs asleep. I wanted you awake before I went upstairs and got her. I wanted you to know what I was doing with her."

Struggling against the rope which held him in the chair, Kevin glared at Ryan.

"Keep trying. You might get lucky. But not as Lucy- I mean lucky- as I am." He laughed.

"With Lucy." The last thing he did before going upstairs was put a piece of tape over Kevin’s mouth. "The only one I want to scream is her."

When Ryan went upstairs, he stared at Lucy. He really wanted to wake her up and make love to her with Kevin downstairs, but he couldn’t risk it. Kevin would be ready to tear his own arm off to get out of the ropes and save her. There was always a chance he could get free, and Ryan didn’t want to risk being caught off guard. So for a while, Ryan watched her sleep. What was going through Kevin’s mind made him laugh.

Finally he sighed. It was time to put all the characters of his game together.

Shaking her, he whispered in her ear. "Lucy?"

Her eyes opened, and she looked at him.

"Come on. You need to get up."

"What time is it?" She was still a little groggy.

"Late. I just got back."

Sitting up, she reached for him. "And?"

"You’re not going to believe what’s happened." No lie there.

"I hope it’s good." Touching his face, she pulled him to kiss her. Ryan had to use every bit of self-restraint he had not to lay her down on the bed. Kevin was waiting.

"Come on. Get up and get dressed. We’re getting out of here." Standing, he waited for her to get dressed. She moved slowly at first, trying to shake off the drug-induced sleepiness.

"We’re leaving? Really? You told her?" Lucy was having a hard time believing it. "Does this mean you…."

"I’m yours. Come on. I want to show you something."

Walking down the stairs beside her, Ryan blocked her view of the living room. As they became visible to Kevin, he stopped her and smiled. "Come here."

Leaning against the wall, Lucy closed her eyes and kissed him passionately. "I can’t wait to tell everyone."

"Well, you might want to hold off on that." Ryan led her downstairs and stopped, letting her see Kevin for the first time.

Lucy stopped, and looked at them. First one, then the other. It took almost 30 seconds for her to be able to put the pieces together. As realization crossed her face, all the blood drained from it. Unable to breathe, she let Ryan put her on the sofa.

"This isn’t possible. This isn’t happening." Lucy whispered to herself, staring at Kevin, who felt completely helpless.

"Oh, it is, Lucy. I know you haven’t seen Kevin in a while, but…." Ryan looked at the complete devastation he’d caused and smiled. "See, I really didn’t know what else to do.

My first thought was to just kill him. Nah, too easy. And painless."

Pacing between them, Ryan looked from one to the other. "Then I thought about ruining his life. But how? And when everyone found out it was me, there’d be no real damage.

And that was the goal. To hurt him. And for him to know it was me."

Kneeling in front of her, he touched her face. When she pulled away, he laughed. "Then there was you. I saw the way he still looked at you. The whole time he was saying he didn’t care. I watched you with Baldwin. Looking over his shoulder to see what Kevin was up to. And it hit me."

Taking her hand, he held it tightly so she couldn’t pull away. "What happened between us can’t be fixed. I’ve kissed you, I’ve held you in my arms, I’ve made love to you, hell, you’ve made love to me. You gave up Baldwin, and that kid of yours. For him. This isn’t something that can go away with blaming the evil twin. Oh, you can blame me, but it can’t go away. Live with that, Kevin. Live with the fact that I took everything away from her through you!"

Kevin was struggling against the ropes. Still laughing, Ryan pulled the tape off his mouth. "You wanted to say something?"

"I’ll kill you. I swear, Ryan, I’ll kill you for what you’ve done to her." If Kevin had been screaming, Ryan would have been amused. He wasn’t. Kevin’s voice was quiet, and, for the first time, Ryan was aware that Kevin might be capable of it.

"You’re not going to get the chance. I have to go." Looking at Lucy, he leaned towards her and whispered in her ear. "You’re not going to stop me. Do you really want everyone to know what you’ve done?"

Lucy was scaring Kevin. She hadn’t said a word, looked at him, or moved since she realized what was going on. Her face was white, she was barely breathing, and her entire body was trembling. From where Kevin was, it looked as if she were actually going into shock.

Touching her face one more time, Ryan went out the door.
 

Chapter 25
When Ryan left, Lucy still didn’t move.

"Lucy! I have to stop him! Help me get these ropes off!"

Continuing to stare at the ground, she didn’t respond.

Kevin began to really worry about her. When he tried again, he struggled to keep his voice quiet. "Lucy, look at me. Come on, I need you to look at me."

Her eyes finally met his for a moment, then dropped to the floor again.

But he was getting somewhere with her. "Lucy, listen to me. Look at me."
 

She looked at him.

"I need you to untie me. Okay? I need you to help me with the rope. I need you to stand up, and come here."

Slowly, she stood, and walked to him.

After she untied one arm, he quickly untied the other and jumped to his feet. He was about halfway to the door when Lucy grabbed his arm. "No!"

"I have to stop him!"

"What are you going to do? Kill him? What will that do? Have him arrested? No! It never happened. Do you hear me? IT NEVER HAPPENED!"

The shrill quality of her voice told Kevin how close to complete hysteria she was. He needed to stay calm.

"Lucy, I can’t let him go. He’ll hurt someone else. I have to call Mac."
 

"No! I’m going to take a shower, and this never happened. It didn’t."

She was staring at the ground and shaking her head.

Kevin took her arms gently and led her back to the sofa. "Listen to me.

I want you to focus, okay? It... it happened. I’m sorry. I wish I could have found out sooner. He hurt you, and I know it. But you need to stay focused here, okay? I need to stop him. Stay here. My phone is in the car, and I need to call Mac."

"No." She started to shake her head. "I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t want to know.

It never happened. I... I need to take a shower."

"He could kill someone, Lucy. He has to be stopped. Stay here. Don’t move, okay? I’ll be right back. I promise."

He walked away from her slowly, and tears finally slid down her face.

It wasn’t until Kevin was out of her sight he finally let his anger get the better of him.

Almost breaking the phone dialing, he was shaking by the time Mac answered.

"Mac?"

"Did you find her?"

"Yes."

"Kevin? What’s wrong?"

Kevin’s throat tightened, and he could barely speak. "It was Ryan."

"Ryan?! How? Where?"

"Lucy... Ryan... She didn’t know."

Mac was silent for a moment. "How is she?"

"How do you think she is?!" Kevin started to shout, but remembered she could probably hear him. "It hasn’t really hit her yet, but not good. We have to catch him."

"How much of a head start does he have?"

"Too much. It’s a long story, but he’s been gone a few minutes already.

And I can’t leave her to go after him."

"Okay, I’ll get a team out there. Keep it by the book. We’ll do the usual. APB, search, I-"

"Can you keep the team to a minimum? For obvious reasons, Lucy’s not going to talk about this. Do me a favor, send a car to the lighthouse. I don’t think he’ll go there, but Eve’s there alone, and.."

"Done. I’m on my way." Mac hung up.

Returning to the living room, Kevin found it empty. Almost in a panic, he ran up the stairs. When he heard the shower running, he sighed. After listening for a moment to be sure she couldn’t hear him, he dialed the lighthouse.

"Eve?"

"Kevin? Where are you?"

"It’s a long story. I found out what’s going on."

"What?" Eve’s voice took on a wary quality, like she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he was about to say.

"It... Scott told you Lucy left him for me. She did. But it wasn’t me, but she didn’t know it. I-"

"Kevin!" Eve sounded exasperated. "You’re starting to sound like Lucy! What’s going on?"

"Ryan." Kevin sighed.

"What? You mean, Lucy and Ryan? Oh my God. What did-"

"Eve, I’m telling you this because he could head your way. This will NOT turn into a free-for-all at Lucy’s expense. I’m on Jasmine Island. Ryan got away.

Mac’s on his way here, and he’s sending a car over there, just to keep an eye out for him. I don’t think he’ll turn up there. He’s had way too much fun here to risk getting caught now."

"Kevin, I’m not being crude. How is she?"

"Not good. I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later." Hanging up, he waited for Lucy to come out.

Chapter 26
Mac got out of the car and walked through the front door. "Kevin?"

Coming down the stairs, Kevin met him in the living room. "He took off about an hour ago."

Walking to the door, Mac told his men to take the three different roads Ryan could have taken. After most of them were gone, Mac went back to Kevin. "Where is Lucy?"

"She just turned the water off in the shower. She’s been in there since I called you."

Mac looked worried. "Will she be okay?"

"I don’t know. Mac, you know what’s happened. Right now, she wants to deny the whole thing." Looking towards the stairs, he shrugged. "I’m going to go see how she is."

When he reached the top of the stairs, he knocked softly on the door.

"Lucy?"

She didn’t answer.

"Lucy?" Opening the door slowly, he looked inside.

She was sitting on the bed with the blanket wrapped around her.

The psychiatrist in him took over. Sitting next to her, he looked at her for a moment. Her eyes were on the floor, and tears were still sliding down her face.

"Mac’s downstairs."

"I know." She whispered.

"He wants to know what happened."

Shaking her head, she pulled the blanket tighter around herself. "No."

"Lucy, he needs to talk to you. You don’t have to tell him.....everything."

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"He just wants to know what you know about..." Kevin didn’t know what to say to her.

"Please? Just for a minute?"

Sighing, she nodded. "I have to get dressed."

Standing, he went toward the door.

"Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"Who.... who else is here?"

"A few of his men."

She shook her head. "I’m not going down there. I’ll talk to Mac. I can’t. You don’t understand. I can’t. I can’t tell anyone what I did. How stupid I was.

It didn’t happen.

That’s the only way I can..." Starting to cry, she put her hand over her face.

Looking at her, Kevin was at a total loss. He had no idea what to say to her. There was nothing he could say. Ryan had taken her feelings for him and used them to completely destroy the life she’d managed to find without him.

"How about if I make everyone else leave?"

Nodding, she wiped her eyes.

When Kevin came back upstairs, she was dressed, but sitting in the same place. "Lucy? Mac’s the only one down there. Come on."

Not moving, she continued to stare at the floor.

Gently, he took her hands. "Look at me. Come on. Mac just wants to talk to you."

She still didn’t respond to him, but she let him take her downstairs.

Mac couldn’t hide his shock when he saw her. Kevin was right. She wasn’t good. "Lucy, I wish we’d known. I wish one of us had said something to Kevin before it..."

Pulling away from Kevin, she sat on the sofa and stared at the floor, not saying a word.

Kevin sat next to her and Mac sat on the chair facing her.

"Did he say anything to give you any idea where he’s headed?"

Finally looking at Mac, Lucy shook her head. "He was supposed to be....

We were..... I thought..." Tears came and she couldn’t finish.

Leaning towards her, Mac kept his voice low. "Lucy, what he did to you was.... We want to get him for this. But you have to help us. There are laws against what he did."

"Laws? You mean as in press charges?" Lucy was headed for complete hysteria. "You mean have him arrested, and tell a courtroom full of people what I...

And I... No."

Shaking her head, she stared at Mac. "You can’t make me tell anyone. As far as I’m concerned, this didn’t happen. I can forget."

Kevin and Mac looked at each other.

Leaning closer to her, Kevin spoke softly. "Okay. You don’t want to tell anyone. That’s okay. You have to do whatever you need to do to get through this. But we have to find him. He will hurt someone else. And then, if you change your mind, you can-"

"I won’t. Besides, you wouldn’t want me to."

Kevin was confused. "I wouldn’t want you to?"

Finally staring at him, Lucy shook her head. "You’re a smart man, Kevin.

Figure it out.

Everytime something has happened with you and Ryan, the newspapers have had a field day with the twin thing. Comparing the two of you. Well, now they have… I…" She took a deep breath. "I’ve slept with both of you. Now I can’t believe you’d want…. That public any more than I do."

Knowing she was right, he looked at Mac. He didn’t want that, but… "Lucy, you don’t want to press charges because you don’t want to, that’s your decision.

But don’t…"

She’d looked away from him, so he gently turned her face to his. "Don’t let this go because of me. Whatever happens, happens. You need to do what is right for you. This happened to you. Not me."

"I hate to say this, but she’s right." Mac looked at both of them. "If… this ever went to court, Ryan would have a lawyer. And the lawyer’s job would be to prove that Lucy knew who she….. was with." He sighed. "And that would include details that neither of you would want made public."

Lucy’s eyes met his, and he felt terrible. "I’m sorry, Lucy. I wish there were another way to handle this."

Shaking her head, she bit her lip before speaking. "Not.. your fault. I did this."

"No." Kevin took her hand. "You didn’t do this! Ryan did this. You have to remember that, Lucy. Ryan hurt you. He lied to you, he used you, the way you feel about me. I can’t change it, I can’t fix it. I wish to God I could." The whole thing started to cave in on him and he struggled to control himself. Lucy had given up everything that mattered to her to be with him. Ryan was right. This couldn’t be taken back, or fixed. Ryan destroyed her life. Because she loved him.

Mac suddenly felt like he was intruding. "I need to go. I’ll keep in touch. Lucy, where are you going to be?"

She shrugged. "I hadn’t thought about it. I guess I’ll be here for a few days. If that’s all right."

Kevin shook his head. "Do you really think that’s a good idea?"

Her eyes dropped to the floor again. "I don’t know. I’ll make a few calls. I’ll find somewhere."

"I didn’t mean it that way. If you want to stay here, you’re welcome to.

You could move in, if that’s what you wanted. I just meant that it might not be good for you, considering…"

The hysteria she’d been fighting finally got the better of her, and she stood, glaring at both men. "Where do you think I have to go? DV’s at the hotel, I’m NOT dealing with him right now. What am I supposed to do, Kevin? Go back to Scott and say ‘sorry, wrong brother’? I don’t have anywhere to go!"

"You’re welcome to stay with us until you figure out what you want to do." Mac shrugged. "The girls’ would love it, they’re crazy about you. Felicia would be okay."

Stopping, Lucy almost smiled at Mac. "I appreciate it. I really do. But I don’t think I could be around…. I need time. I need to be alone." She ran up the stairs.

Mac looked at Kevin. "I need to go. I’m going to stay in touch with the State Police. I want to stay on top of this. But I definitely think being alone is the last thing she needs."

Kevin nodded. "I’ll stay with her for a while. But I’m not to wild about Eve being alone, either."

"I’ll check with the car at the lighthouse. They’ll keep an eye on Eve for you. You watch out for her." Mac nodded up the stairs. "I’ll have a car drive by here periodically as long as she stays here."

"Thanks, Mac."
 

Chapter 27
After Mac left, Kevin went upstairs. He wasn’t surprised to hear the shower running.

Sitting on the bed, he waited for her.

It was almost 30 minutes before she appeared again. Wrapped in a towel, she stopped at the door and stared at him.

"I’ll stay as long as you need me to."

Shaking her head, she walked to him. "You won’t help, believe me."

A look that was almost hurt crossed his face, and she continued. "I didn’t mean it that way. I just… I don’t know. This whole thing was about you. Well, not really, I guess, but.." She sighed. "It just won’t help me to have you here, waiting for me to tell you it’s okay to go back to Eve."

It was his turn to look away. She was right. Before he could say anything, she picked up her clothes and walked to him. "Here." She handed him her ring. When she spoke again, her voice was shaking. "I know he has some other things of yours. You might want to look."

After she left the room, he held her ring and stared at it. So much had happened. He remembered the day he gave it to her. How happy they’d both been. And now… He shook his head. This wasn’t getting them anywhere. He looked around and only found the rest of the wedding set. A brief thought of fear went through his mind that Ryan would have actually married her with his name if Kevin hadn’t found her.

As he walked down the stairs, he heard the radio playing. The window above it was open, and she was out on the porch, curled up in a chair.

I thought I saw the promise of forever in your eyes.

It thought that I was sure of what I saw You led me to believe that I was special in your eyes So I left my heart wide open for the fall What a heartache you turned out to be.

I thought I’d found a safe and lovin’ place inside your heart.

And I was warm and willing anytime.

The same soft lips that kissed me sweet were lyin’ from the start But I swear I thought your love was genuine.

What a heartache you turned out to be.

Standing inside, Kevin watched her. She was singing softly, he could only tell from the way her lips were moving. Tears were sliding down her face, and she stared into the darkness of the island.

What a heartache What a heartache Like a switchblade that cuts so quick and deep What a heartache What a heartbreak Love ain’t always what it appears to be What a heartache you turned out to be

Pulling her legs up in front of her, she rested her chin on her knees and hugged her legs.

No longer singing, she was crying so hard she was shaking.

It just goes to show that you never can tell I really thought that I knew you so well I still can’t believe I could be deceived so easily Are all these wished I’m wishin’ to myself Like rust coins in a wishing well? Wishes come true they come false as well Is it too late for you and me? What a heartache, you turned out to be.

Kevin stood in the doorway, not knowing if he should go to her or not.

Her earlier words replayed themselves in his mind. This whole thing was about him.

Suddenly he felt like the only thing he could do by being there was hurt her worse.
 

What a heartache What a heartache Love is two-faced and easy to believe What a heartache What a heartbreak Love ain’t always what it appears to be What a heartache you turned out to be
 

Finally, she saw him. Wiping her eyes, she sat up.

Staying a few feet from her, he sighed. "I don’t feel like I’m doing you any good by being here. But I don’t like the thought of you being here alone."

"If you’re worried about me, don’t. You haven’t for months, don’t break a pattern now. If you’re worried about Ryan, he won’t come back here." Her eyes dropped and she whispered. "He already got what he wanted from me. Killing me now would be pointless." Turning from him, she finished so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. "And he doesn’t do favors."

Reaching for her, he flinched when she pulled away from his touch. "I do worry about you. I never stopped caring about you. I can’t begin to tell you what’s going through my mind where Ryan-"

"Then don’t. It doesn’t matter." Heading for the door, she kept her back to him. "I told you I need to be alone. I’m sure. Okay? Thank you for coming, but..."

Leaving him outside, she walked to the stairs.

Watching her disappear up the stairs, he finally did what she asked. He left.

Song credit: Dolly Parton "Rhinestone" soundtrack.
 

After Kevin had left, Lucy had taken another shower and gone back outside. When the sun came up, she was exhausted but every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Ryan and Kevin in the living room. At that moment, she didn’t think she’d ever sleep again.

When she heard the car out front, she jumped to her feet and ran to the door. Opening the door, she looked at Victor.

"Oh, Lucy. I’m so sorry."

"I take it Kevin told you the whole story?"

"I hope you aren’t upset he told me."

She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head. "I guess you had to know that Ryan is still around."

The lost look in her eyes almost physically hurt Victor. He stepped towards her and when he put his arms out, she leaned against him.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"This is nice. I really needed it." Hugging him back, she didn’t want him to let go. Finally, she stepped back. "Come on in."

They sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee.

"Do you have any idea what you’re going to do? I know this is way to soon for you to make any permanent decisions, but..."

She sighed. "I don’t know. The first thing I have to do is find a place to live. I don’t want to go to the hotel, DV’s there. And he’s not someone I want to deal with right now. I need to get up, get myself together, and go to the office. If I concentrate on something else, maybe something will come to me."

Standing, Lucy started to wander around the living room. Following her, Victor watched her.

"What are you looking for?"

"My phone. It was in my purse the last time I saw it. But it’s not there. I..." A thought occurred to her. "I bet he took it."

"It makes sense. He wouldn’t have wanted you to call anyone. Here." He handed her his phone.

"Never mind. I’m just going to go to Jax. I need to get out of here."

Running upstairs for a few minutes, she returned, ready to leave.

"Victor, would you like to have dinner? I mean, if you can get away, I just... I can’t-"

"I would love it, Lucy." Walking out the door with her, he hugged her again. The fact that she still loved him after both of his sons had completely tortured her amazed him.

When she tried to start her car, Ryan’s handiwork struck again.

Fortunately, it took Victor only a few minutes to figure out what he’d done. But it also told Victor how methodical Ryan had been in his quest to completely destroy Lucy. He’d succeeded in isolating her so she wouldn’t figure out what was really happening.

Watching her drive away, Victor wondered if she was ever going to recover.
 

Chapter 29
Eve was sitting on the sofa when Kevin came downstairs. When he’d come home last night, his face told her he didn’t want to talk. So she’d left him alone, knowing that at some point he would tell her what was happening.

After calling Mac, and finding out that there was no trace of Ryan, Kevin sat next to her and closed his eyes.

"Kevin, I know this is killing you. Not knowing where he is, or what he’s going to do next. But that is exactly what he wants."

"There’s a lot more to it than that. I can’t believe he… You have no idea what he’s done to Lucy. As long as I live, I will never forget the look on her face when she realized what was going on. I have serious doubts that she will ever get over it."

"I know. But it wasn’t you. Ryan did this. You’ve been hurt so much by him. And he wants you to feel guilty, like this was somehow your fault. It’s not. You had nothing to do with this."

"Neither did Lucy. I know how you feel about her, but she didn’t deserve this. She had a life, Eve, she had Scott, and Serena. Ryan took that away from her."

Shaking her head, Eve tried to find a way to say this without sounding vindictive. "He lied to her. He used her, and he hurt her. But he did NOT make her leave Scott.

If she’d really loved Scott, she wouldn’t have left him."

Opening his eyes, Kevin stared at her.

"I don’t mean it to sound as bad as I’m sure it does to you. But she made the decision to leave Scott."

"Because she thought I wanted to marry her! Ryan gave her back her engagement ring!"

Eve was stunned, but not by the fact that Ryan used it. "How did he get it?"

"He’s been here." Kevin realized Eve hadn’t known he’d kept the rings.

"I had the rings in a drawer. He found them, took them, and gave them back to Lucy to get her to come to him."

"I didn’t know you still had them." And her tone told him she wasn’t thrilled to find out.

"I don’t know why I still did. Now I wish I’d gotten rid of them."

Touching his face, Eve tried to get him to understand. "You had no idea what was going to happen. This is not your fault. Don’t let him get to you. That’s what he wants."

"I know you’re right. It doesn’t mean I can forget what he’s done. I want to help her, but I think my presence hurts her more then helps her right now. I wish Mac would come up with something. As long as he’s on the loose, no one I care about is safe."

Taking her hands, Kevin pulled her to him. "That means you, too. I don’t want you alone. You don’t know him."

"I’m not scared. I know you’ll protect me." Laughing, she kissed him.

But he wasn’t amused.

"Kevin, Mac keeps sending cars by here, and you’re here. Ryan would be a fool to try to get to me, now that you know he’s alive. And from what you’ve told me, he’s a lot of things, but he’s not a fool."

"No, he’s not. He’s borderline brilliant. That’s what makes him so dangerous." He realized it was pointless. Eve had no idea what Ryan was. And he couldn’t convince her. So he had to protect her.
 

Chapter 30
Victor pulled up to the address Lucy had given him over the phone. Her voice had sounded much stronger when she’d called him earlier, and she’d told him to meet her at this address.

When he pulled into the driveway, she came out, smiling. "Come on in.

You won’t believe what I’ve done."

"Lead the way." It thrilled Victor to see her smile.

"I ran into Jasper Jax this afternoon. And it hit me. When Brenda...

died, she left him this cottage. I started thinking about it. She moved in here after she got out of the hospital. When she was trying to start her life over. Clear her head, and all that. I realized I’m in the same situation.

Sort of. I mean, she was trying to get over Sonny, and she didn’t want to run to Jax. She wanted to be on her own." Stopping in the middle of the living room, she stared at Victor. "She wanted to learn how to be herself without a man in her life. And, to be honest, I’m kind of in the same position." She sighed, and before Victor could reply, she continued.

"Lucy Coe without a man.

Novel concept. But it’s time, you know? I mean, Brenda was so young....

I probably should have gotten to this point years ago, but I’ve never been that strong, you know?"

"Lucy," Victor finally interrupted her. "You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known."

"Oh, sure, when I have a man to run to. It’s a whole different story when I’m alone. But, anyway, I started talking to Jax, and I remembered this place. He hasn’t been here since Robin moved out. He can’t bring himself to part with it, but he can’t stand coming here, either. So he leased it to me on a month-to-month basis. I’m putting all of Brenda’s things in storage until Jax can deal with it."

"How about you? You were close to Brenda, too."

Lucy sighed. "Actually, I feel closer to her by being here. I thought I understood her then. Now I feel like I know exactly what she was going through."

"I think if it’s going to help you, then this is what you need to do."

Victor nodded and held out his arm. "Now, can I get the grand tour?"

"Definitely. How about going shopping with me tomorrow? Jax said I could use the furniture, but I want to make this place mine, you know? A few things of hers here and there is nice, but I need a place that’s all mine. Why don’t we go shopping and do lunch tomorrow? Bring Mary! I’d love to have her opinion."

"Mary knows Ryan is alive, but she doesn’t know what’s happened to you.

I didn’t think it was my place to tell her."

"But it was Kevin’s to tell you?" She shook her head. "I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right. It’s okay with me that Kevin told you, I’m glad. But…"

"He didn’t ask you. I understand. I don’t think he was trying to betray your confidence. He thought maybe I could help you. To be honest with you, I’m surprised you even want to see me."

"Why?" Lucy was shocked.

"Well, let’s see. I have two sons. They have both gone out of their way to hurt you in the worst ways imaginable. And I couldn’t stop them."

"Victor," Standing in front of him, she tried to stop the tears that filled her eyes. "You are the one person I’ve always known would be here. No matter what happened, no matter what I did.

You always held my hand, told me you loved me, and you always accepted me. Even when everyone else hated me. You can’t imagine how much that means to me."

"You have no idea what you mean to me, Lucy. No matter what. You have me. And now you have Mary. She doesn’t know you that well, but I’m sure she’ll grow to love you the way I do."

"Don’t be too sure, Victor. I’m not that easy to love." She shrugged, and began to really cry.

"Of course you are." Hugging her, Victor stroked her hair like he would a child. "You are the most loving person I’ve ever known. Anyone that loves as deeply as you do is easy for me to love. You’re family to me, Lucy. It didn’t matter to me if Kevin married you or not. I mean, I wanted him to, but I still always thought of you as my daughter."

He didn’t mean to, but his words made her cry harder.

"Come on. Let’s get out of here and get some dinner. Tomorrow, you, me, and Mary will work on making this adorable house truly yours. Okay?"

Wiping her eyes, she smiled. "Yes. You can tell her what’s going on. I don’t want to relive it, but…"

"As long as it’s okay with you."

Nodding, she followed him out the door.

Chapter 31
Kevin had gone to PCPD to talk to Mac. Partly because he wanted to help, partly because he had to feel like he was doing something besides sitting around waiting for Ryan to strike next. A squad car was at the lighthouse, which where Eve had insisted on staying. As far as she was concerned, Ryan wasn’t going to get the satisfaction of disrupting her life. Kevin smiled at how determined she was, but he also made it a point to be sure it wouldn’t get her killed.

His cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey, it’s me. I have a problem, that I think you should handle."

"What?"

"Well there is a truck here, with two men, and all of Lucy’s things from the firehouse. What do I tell them? Hey, I don’t want this! Kevin! They’re trying to give me Sigmund!"

Almost laughing out loud at the mental picture that formed in his mind, Kevin answered her.

"I’ll call Lucy and see what she wants to do with him. I’m sure she hasn’t talked to Scott. I’ll call you right back." Hanging up the phone, he dialed Lucy’s cell. It rang several times, then a familiar voice answered.

"Hi, Kevin, nice of you to call. But, you were looking for Lucy, weren’t you? I just love this caller ID function. I would have never known it was you."

"Where is she?"

"How should I know? I have her phone. I don’t have her. What, you lost track of her again? How is she, by the way?" Ryan was surprised to realize he really wanted to know.

"How do you think she is? Where are you?"

"Oh, yeah, I’m going to tell you where you can just come down and get me. Do I have stupid written on my forehead? I think not. Just know that I am. And make yourself crazy wondering where. Bye!"

After Ryan hung up on him, Kevin dialed Jax. Don told him that Lucy was with Victor. So he dialed Victor’s number. Victor answered, then gave the phone to Lucy.

"Hi, Kevin." Her voice sounded wary.

"I just called your cell."

"Ryan took it."

"I know. I just talked to him."

Inhaling sharply, Lucy looked at Victor and Mary. "What did he say?"

Her tone told him she was terrified. "Nothing. I didn’t tell you to scare you. I told you so you can get it disconnected."

"I didn’t think about it. Thanks. It that it?"

"No." He wasn’t sure how to go about this. "Eve just called me. There is a truck at the lighthouse. From Scott."

She didn’t answer.

"Lucy?"

"I’m thinking. Can I call there and talk to them?"

"Of course."

"Okay, bye." She hung up before he could answer. When she dialed the lighthouse, Eve answered. Lucy took a deep breath before speaking. "Kevin told me to speak to the movers."

There was a long moment of silence before a man answered. "Yeah?"

Giving him the address to the cottage, she instructed him to not tell Eve where he was taking her things. He took the address, then told her in no uncertain terms that Sigmund was not welcome back in the truck.

"It’s only ten miles."

"No way. The duck stays here. The guy at the firehouse tipped me $40 to take him here. End of the road."

Victor tapped Lucy’s shoulder. "Leave him there. I’ll go get him and meet you at the cottage."

Smiling, Lucy spoke to the phone. "Let me talk to Eve again."

"What?" Eve sounded frustrated.

"Victor is going to come by and get Sigmund. Just put him out back until he gets there. Please."

Sighing, Eve agreed to keep Sigmund until Victor came for him.

Hanging up, Lucy turned to Victor and Mary. "I need to get over there.

I’ll meet the two of you there?"

"We’ll be there with duck in hand." Victor hugged her again.

Chapter 32
By the time Victor and Mary got to the lighthouse, Kevin was back.

"How is she?" Kevin approached them.

"As well as can be expected. She’s trying to get on with her life."

Scooping Sigmund into his arms, Victor started towards the door.

"Wait! Victor, where is she?"

Victor studied him for a moment before replying. "She found a place to stay, and she’s okay.

That doesn’t mean she’s ready to face you. I don’t mean to make it sound like she’s angry. She’s not. At least not with you. But when she’s ready for you to know where she is, she’ll let you know."

After they left, Kevin looked at Eve. "And the movers wouldn’t tell you where they were taking her things?"

"Kevin, for the last time, she told them not to tell me. It’s obvious to me she doesn’t want to see you. Why isn’t it obvious to you?"

Eve could see how much that remark stung, but it was the truth. She wasn’t too thrilled about how much that fact bothered Kevin.

Chapter 33
A few days later, Lucy decided it was time to tell Scott what was going on. She was shaking by the time she reached the firehouse. Deliberately going while Serena was at school was not what she wanted to do, but the scene that she was sure was going to take place would not be good for her.

When Scott opened the door, he started to close it again.

"Scott, wait. Please."

"Why? What more could we possibly have to say to each other?"

"We’ve been friends for too many years to let it end like this."

Stepping in the door, she made sure he couldn’t shut it.

"I really don’t want to see you right now."

"Too bad, Pal. I have a few things I need to tell you." Tears came, and she shrugged. "Actually, you’ll probably figure I got what I deserved."

Scott had seen her cry before. It didn’t phase him any more. "I really don’t want to hear that Kevin changed his mind again."

"He didn’t. To be honest, he didn’t change his mind in the first place."
 

Scott was confused, but still too angry to care. "I don’t want to hear about your love life, Lucy.

What I really want is for you to leave."

"Scott, please. Just listen to me."

"I don’t want to. I want you to turn around, and go. I don’t care if it’s to Kevin, or the moon! Just get out of here."

"I want to see Serena."

Shaking his head, Scott pushed her out the door. "That little girl, that you claim you care so much about, has been crying since you left us. You’ve done enough, Lucy.

You’ve hurt me before. More than once. I always understood that was just you. But now you’ve hurt Serena.

Something I thought you’d never do. And I’m done with you. Get out, Lucy." He slammed the door, and could hear her crying on the other side. Sighing, he went upstairs. He knew that he would have to let Lucy see Serena sooner or later. But let her think about what she’d done.
 

Chapter 34
Luke wiped the bar down and joined Lucy at a table in the corner. "Is today the day you’re going to finally tell me what’s going on?"

"What?"

"In the last month, you’ve become a regular fixture around here. I get the message that Baldwin is no longer a concern, but why? What happened?"

Lucy had been debating telling him what happened for a couple weeks. But she’d always chickened out. Felicia and Mac had been incredibly supportive, but she still felt like she’d done something incredibly stupid. Victor had been a godsend, he’d come to see her almost everyday.

But there was something that she couldn’t tell any of them. Not until she was sure. And she was also afraid of knowing for sure.

The queasy feeling that she’d been feeling all day took over. Standing, she ran to the bathroom.

Once she began to get sick, her knees started to shake and she couldn’t get up. After almost 10 minutes, Luke knocked on the door. "Lucy? You alive?"

"Luke! Can you help me?"

Worry stamped on his face, he picked her up and carried her to the office. "Okay. Spill it! What’s going on?"

Crying, she told him the whole story. When she told Luke that it had been Ryan she’d left Scott for, Luke sat next to her and held her hand. "Oh god, babe. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’ve been alone all this time?"

Nodding, she leaned back and closed her eyes, willing herself to not get sick again. "I feel so stupid. I believed every word he said! I believed Kevin wanted me back."
 

Pulling her to him, Luke held her. "Luce, you wanted him back so badly.

I knew that, Baldwin knew that. Hell, babe, everyone who knows you knew that."

"Except it wasn’t Kevin. I feel like an idiot for thinking he would want me back."

"We all make mistakes, Luce. Like believing there’s hope when there isn’t. Wanting to believe there’s a chance."

"Why do I get the feeling we’re not just talking about me, here."

"Right now, we’re talking about you. What was that scene in the bathroom all about?"

All it took was the way she looked at him.

He whistled. "No way. You know for sure?"

Shaking her head, she pulled away from him. "No. I’m not sure I want to." Tears came, and she tried to fight them.

"And, if you are...."

"It’s Ryan’s." That was all she could say.

"Come here." Luke pulled her back to him and held her while she cried.

After a few minutes, she started to get control of herself again.

Luke looked at her. "The first thing you need to do, is find out for sure. Now."

"I’m scared."

"I know. But you need to know. I mean, if you’re going to have a baby, you need to know. If you’re not sure what you’re going to do-"

"Luke, get real. If I’m pregnant, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I have this baby. I’m just not sure what I’m going to do about the father."

"What do you mean? What can you do about him?"

Her eyes met his. "Make damn sure he never finds out. You know what he is, Luke. If he found out I had his baby, what do you think he would do to me? To the baby?"

She shook her head. "I need to find a way to make sure no one ever finds out who the father is."

"How? Like lie about due dates? Come on, Lucy. You’ve been obviously alone for a while. Do you want to invent some mysterious lover and hope everyone buys it? Or find someone else to..."

Her eyes met his for a moment, then she shook her head. "No. I don’t want to drag some poor innocent bystander into this. Do you have any idea how much trouble that man would be in if Ryan found out? What do you think Ryan would do to the man he saw stealing his child? No.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but getting some innocent man killed isn’t the answer."

Taking her hand, Luke stared at her. "I’m telling you right now, if Ryan gets anywhere near you or the baby, it will be the last mistake he ever makes."

"Luke, I appreciate that. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. I’m not even sure-"

"Yes, you are. I can tell from looking at you. You’re sure. You just don’t want to be."

"I’m afraid to be."

Sighing, Luke put his arms around her. "Look, I’m not going to raise any more kids, but if all you want is a name to protect yourself and the baby, use mine. Hell, it’s not like anyone would be surprised if we had."

Lucy could barely speak to answer him. "I can’t drag you into this. You have no idea what you’re offering."

"You want child support?"

"No!"

"You want a weekend father?"

"No! That’s the last thing I want."

"So, all you need is someone to blame, and someone who can take care of your ex-shrink’s psycho brother if he makes an appearance. What’s the problem?"

She wasn’t convinced.

"You’ve got time. Think about it. I’m not offering to make an honest woman out of you, or save your spotless reputation."

They both started to laugh.