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by Desi 
Chapter One Eve Lambert took in a breath of nervous anticipation as she stood outside the hotel room door. While she’d agreed to this meeting, there was something about it, something that just tugged at her and she wondered if doing this was truly what was best. A sigh fell from her lips as the door opened and she found herself face to face with the woman she’d loathed for so long. She saw the dark eyes upon her, but now instead of being full of hatred and anger, they seemed to emanate with compassion and sorrow. “Eve,” Julie forced a half smile as she opened the door wider, “I’m glad you could make it.” “I must admit I was surprised when Chris told me you wanted to see me,” Eve confessed stepping inside getting a better look at her one time rival as she stood before her frail and tired looking. A soft, poignant smile pressed over Eve’s otherwise cautious features as she felt her heart fill with sorrow upon seeing Julie. “I figured you might question my motives and Chris wasn’t sure you’d make it,” Julie closed the door before making her way over to the sofa finding herself winded, “but I believed you would. After all you’re never one to back down from a challenge,” Julie offered with a teasing laugh. “I didn’t realize we were having a challenge,” Eve noted following her hostess, “is that what this is?” “Not this time,” Julie shook her head as all teasing left her features and was replaced by an air of seriousness, “I trust Chris informed you of my condition.” “He and Kevin both explained it to me,” Eve nodded, “and for what it’s worth, I’m so sorry Julie.” “As am I, but not so much about leaving this world because I know my time is up, but more so about leaving those I love behind,” Julie explained tears threatening, “but I know Christina is in good hands. Lucy is going to be a good mother to her and I know she has a lot of love in her life. My little girl will be okay.” “I know she will be,” Eve offered in a comforting tone, “I’ll see to it that she’s always in good hands and I know Lucy will never let her forget you.” “I realize that,” Julie wiped at a tear falling from her cheek, “but what I called you over for today really isn’t about Christina because I know in my heart that she’s where she belongs. I am concerned, however, about Chris. He’s not taking the news well at all about my upcoming departure from this world.” “I know,” Eve nodded thinking back to the pain in her best friend’s eyes when he’d told her the news on Julie. His voice was barely able to keep from cracking as he fell apart before Eve, surprising her with the depth of his unyielding pain. “That’s why I asked you here,” Julie hesitated briefly, “I know that you’ll look after Chris. While I realize that you and I were never the best of friends, I do know that you do mean a great deal to Chris. You’re very important to him and I know that when I’m gone, if anyone will be able to reach him, it’s you.” “Julie, Chris and I....” Eve started. “Have had your share of problems, yes, I’m aware of that and I’m also aware of the strain that you’ve had in your life over the past year, however, I know in my heart that should things come to where they are now, you wouldn’t turn your back on Chris. I know that you’ll find a way to do everything in your power to help him through the pain he’s feeling, if not for me, for him.” “Julie,” Eve started thinking of the weight of the request Julie had given her, “of course I will. I promise I’ll watch over him.” “Eve,” Julie reached out for her hand taking it as Eve noted the fragility behind Julie’s touch, “I know that we’ve had our differences, but we both do have one thing in common. We both love Chris very much and we want what’s best for him in this world. He’s suffered so much and I don’t want him to suffer because of me.” “Julie, he loves you so much,” Eve began. “I know,” Julie no longer could suppress her tears of anguish, “but he also loves you and that love is something that’s driven him for quite some time. Hell, it was always a wall between us during our marriage and despite how much he loves me, as I do believe he does with all that he can allow within his heart, he’s always held a piece of himself out for you.” “Julie, you’re mistaken about that. Chris and I are friends....” “Eve,” Julie cut her off, “Chris loves you. He so desperately is in love with you that he’d step aside if it meant giving you happiness in your life. While I swore to myself that I’d never admit to that because in admitting that would be taking away from the love between Chris and I, well, I refuse to go to my grave denying Chris the one thing in this world that will make him truly happy. Eve, regardless about how you feel for him, he’s in love with you and he wants nothing more in this world than to be with you.” “Julie, I...I don’t know what to....” Eve began. “Don’t say anything,” Julie urged, “just promise me that you’ll look after him and when the time is right you will do what your heart tells you is right.” “Julie, I care about Chris, but what you’re asking....” Eve began. “Eve, I don’t think you understand,” Julie hesitated, “but maybe it’s time I make you understand,” she finished rising from the sofa slowly, “come with me.” “Where?” “Into the back room,” Julie explained, “there’s something I need you to see, something I think you need to know before you make any hasty decisions.” Eve nodded in response following Julie into the other room as Julie raised her finger to her lips to silence Eve as they stepped further into the room. As Eve’s eyes adjusted to the change in lighting, she noted a small crib set up in the corner of the room. Julie motioned for Eve to follow her as she approached the crib and Eve noted a figure cuddled up beneath a small blanket and Eve noted the soft sighs coming from the tiny form. As her eyes fell upon the tiny dark ringlets surrounding the chubby little innocent face, it dawned upon her just what Julie was trying to show her. “Eve, I’d like you to meet my daughter,” Julie explained as the little one opened her eyes and smiled up at Julie extending her arms. Julie slowly reached into the crib and pulled the young child out into her arms, “Angel.” “Angel,” Eve repeated her eyes widening as the small child looked to her with questioning eyes. “She’s very important to me Eve and the last thing I want is for her daddy to be miserable once I leave this world. It’s important for me to know that they’re both taken care of,” Julie explained tears flowing freely from her eyes, “which is why I asked you here. I need to know that you’ll be there to take care of Chris and our daughter once I’m gone.” “You mean she’s Chris’s...” “Daughter yes,” Julie nodded, “and right now I know they need all the love they can get which is why I’m asking you to push our differences aside and find it in your heart to be the friend to Chris that I know you can be.”
“There you are Lambert,” Ian greeted his wife as she walked into their apartment, “I was wondering if I’d have to go looking for you.” “No, no it wouldn’t get to that,” Eve shook her head as she stepped into the living room seeing her son in Ian’s lap. Extending her arms out to the boy, she hoisted him up into her arms and squeezed him to her protectively, “I missed you Danny.” “Everything alright?” Ian questioned watching Eve closely as she kissed Danny’s forehead, “Eve?” “No,” she shook her head, “no everything’s not alright. Nothing is right anymore,” she confessed a tiny sob building from within as she hugged Daniel, “Ian, my best friend is losing the great love of his life and this is the time of the year when people are supposed to cherish those that mean the most to them. It’s the time of the year when miracles happen, but where’s the miracle in Julie dying and leaving her family behind? How fair is that?” “Life is seldom fair,” He sighed as he rose from the sofa, “but we have to find a way to thank the heavens for what we have.” “I can’t imagine ever letting go of Danny,” Eve confessed, “I can’t even begin to pretend that I know the pain Julie is going through. I mean Ian she’s watching everything she loved become a fading memory and all she can do is let go.” “She’s done the right thing,” Ian replied, “she knows what will be best for Christina.” “Even so, how is it best for any child to go without their parent? To go without the person who brought them into this world,” Eve questioned, “not to mention what this is doing to Chris.” “Eve, he’s a strong person.” “No, you don’t understand. Not only did Julie break his heart before when she left, but now as she leaves him, he’s not the only one left behind.” “I don’t understand.” “They have a baby. A little girl and Ian she’s so beautiful. Chris has the family he’s always wanted, the one he’s always dreamed about and now as Julie is fading away, so is that dream and it’s just not fair,” Eve cried holding her son tighter, “it’s just not fair.”
“Honey I’m home,” Chris called out entering the hotel room with presents in hand as he found Julie waiting for him on the couch with Angel in her arms, “I know I said I would be quick, but you have no idea just how many people were out there at this time of day.” “That’s alright,” Julie smiled at him tenderly, “we were just talking about the presents we had for you.” “For me,” Chris questioned moving over beside Julie, “and what might that be?” “Want to share them with daddy,” Julie questioned as her daughter stretched her arms out towards Chris wanting him to hold her, “she wants you Chris.” “Then I’d better let her have me,” Chris replied extending his arms out to the beautiful little girl before him, “how are you doing Angel? Did you miss daddy?” “We both did,” Julie smiled at him. “I missed you too,” Chris confessed, “I hated to be away from the both of you.” “I know, but you know I think time away was good for you,” Julie noted. “I’d much rather be here,” Chris replied turning to her, “I want to spend as much time as I can with you.” “Chris, I don’t think this is good for you,” Julie began her heart breaking at the words, “you and I have shared so many wonderful days, but I don’t think that you should be here during the last moments...” “Nonsense,” Chris shook his head, “we have plenty more moments like these ahead of us.” “Chris,” Julie reached out to touch his cheek affectionately, “we both know the truth here. There’s no point in denying what we both know is inevitable.” “Julie,” he placed his hand over hers, “I just got you back and I’m not going to lose you again.” “We don’t have a choice in this Chris,” she sighed hating to see him hurting, “we both know that I’m here for only a limited time.” “Don’t say that. We’ll find a way to get beyond that. Somehow I’ll find something to make you well again,” Chris promised her, “then we can be our family we always dreamed of.” “Chris, you can’t keep believing that what is happening to me isn’t real. It’s very real and despite the fact that we love each other, you have to let go of me.” “I don’t want to let go of you. I just had you back in my life again. You and Angel are the world to me.” “Chris, you have to be strong for Angel,” Julie’s eyes filled with tears, “despite everything we have together, you have to promise me that you’ll find it in your heart to be strong for her, to find love in your life like you’ve always wanted.” “I have love,” he touched her face wiping at her tears, “with you.” “Chris, please don’t make this any harder than it is,” Julie sobbed lightly, “please don’t make me hate myself for what’s happening.” “Don’t hate yourself Julie as you should know by now I’ve never hated you.” “Chris, I know how much you love me, but you have to move on. You have to find a future with someone who can give you what you need, someone who loves you as much as you deserve to be loved. I want you to be able to find it in your heart again to love and to create the kind of family for Angel that I know you both deserve.” “You’re all the family we deserve. I love you Julie,” he answered determined as he reached out to her, “I love you and I’m never, never letting you go.” “Chris,” she spoke to protest as he reached for a box. “Now come on. It’s time to open presents,” he put on a smile, “I know Angel is looking forward to that,” he urged once again changing the subject as Julie watched him realizing this would be harder than she’d ever dreamt possible.
“Hey,” Ian touched his wife’s shoulder as she stood in the doorway of Daniel’s nursery, “shouldn’t you be resting?” “I can’t sleep,” Eve admitted lost in her thoughts and concerns over her dear friend, “I just don’t want to miss a moment with Danny.” “Eve, he’s not going anywhere.” “Even so, just to think about not being able to hold him, to watch him grow up,” she felt tears threaten once more, “it’s just so unfair.” “Lambert, I know that you are upset about what’s happened to Julie, but we all know it’s a part of life. It’s something we can’t avoid, can’t run from.” “Even so, it’s just so, so wrong. This shouldn’t be happening now and especially not to Chris. It’s not fair,” Eve shook her head determined, “Ian there has to be something that someone can do.” “I saw her patient files Eve,” Ian sighed, “there’s nothing more that can be done. She just needs to spend her remaining time savoring all that life has given her.” “How can she savor it knowing that it’ll be gone at any second? How can she find any comfort in that?” “She knows that those she loves are going to be well taken care of,” Ian wrapped his arms around her, “and that in itself is comfort enough.” “Do you honestly believe that?” “I hope so.” “I don’t think I could ever find comfort in letting go of love. That just seems so, so wrong,” Eve sighed wishing things were different.
Chris held Julie in his arms after they’d set Angel down. As she snuggled in against him, he kissed the top of her head, “Cold,” he questioned pulling the blanket around her. “No,” she answered in a tired voice, “I’m fine. Everything is perfect.” “I told you that you’d feel better after opening a few gifts,” Chris eased his fingers through her hair, “I knew you’d be happier.” “I’ve never been happier than when I’ve been in your arms,” she gently caressed his chest listening to his heart pounding beneath her, “but I also want you to have that happiness. Chris, you mean so much to me and I want you to be so happy.” “I am happy Julie.” “I need to know that you and Angel will be taken care of when I leave which is why I called Eve over.” “Eve?” “I know you love her,” Julie whispered opening her eyes as she looked up at him, “I know how you feel about her.” “Julie, Eve is my friend. I love you.” “I know you love me and I have no doubt in my mind of that, but I also know what Eve means to you. What she’s always meant to you and that’s what I’m asking you not to give up on that.” “Julie, I...” he began in confusion as she placed her finger over his lips. “Please don’t give up on love. You only have so much time in this world and if you don’t make the most of it, believe me it can fly away from you,” Julie confessed painfully, “Chris, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I have. I don’t want you to regret not listening to your heart. You need to fight for love.” “I know that which is why I’m asking you not to give up on us. I love you Julie.” “I love you too,” she took in a breath, “but this fight is far beyond you and I. We both know that now.” “Julie, I’m never going to love anyone like I love you.” “I’m not asking you to find a replication of our love, just one that will make you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” “Julie..” “Just promise me Chris. Please I beg of you,” she cried gently as he held her close to him, “please.” “Alright,” he answered choked up on his tears as he held her as if he’d never let go, “I promise you.” “Oh Chris, you have no idea how much hearing that means to me,” she whispered taking in a breath, “and for what it’s worth, I love you so, so much.” “I love you too Julie,” he answered fighting the tears that were threatening as he held her close to him, “don’t you ever forget it.” “I won’t,” she promised him closing her eyes again. “Why don’t you rest up?” he suggested. “I just want to stay like this,” she replied feeling his strong hold on her, “maybe you could tell me one of your stories.” “Like when I convinced you to marry me,” he smiled, “here I’d thought you’d forgotten.” “I’d never forget that” she offered as she lay against him. “Okay, but don’t get mad if this one isn’t as good as the last,” he began with a smile, “once upon a time in a place not far from here, there lived two outcasts from the rest of the world. While they both had their share of problems, the woman was a beautiful princess that the world had wrongly accused of wrong doing. The man, as dastardly as his reputation happened upon the princess one day and he instantly fell in love with her. He was so much in love with her that he would’ve given anything for just a moment with her, to have her in his life for just a second as he knew in her arms everything in the world would seem right. Somehow by a cruel twist of fate, the lovers were separated, but alas they were reunited once more and they had a beautiful daughter with one another...” “It sounds like heaven,” Julie smiled. “It was and they lived their days out having a beautiful family with one another as their children grew and evolved into beautiful young ladies around them. Once their children had grown up, the couple still very much in love spent their days loving one another, holding on to the promise of forever love as they’d never given up hope on having their happily ever after.” “I like that ending,” Julie smiled as she nestled into him, “I love you Chris.” “I love you too Julie,” Chris replied, “and somehow I’ll find a way to get us that ending. I swear to you,” he whispered touching her as she grew limp against him, “Julie? Julie?” He was met by a silence as he tried to move her. He touched her face turning it slightly as he noted the color had left her features and he realized that all too soon his hopes for that ending had left him as he’d lost Julie forever.
Chapter Two TWO WEEKS LATER “Open up Ramsey,” Eve pounded on the door hearing nothing from the other
side
“Chris,” she called out through the darkness as she searched the ransacked apartment worried about her friend. She made her way across the room noting the tiny light coming from the kitchen as she entered it to find the refrigerator door opened and Chris’s fallen form on the floor with a vodka bottle in hand. Instantly she rushed over to his side touching him, “Chris, oh Chris what have you done,” she asked rolling him over as she searched for a pulse. He was still breathing. That was a good sign she decided as she tried to rouse him from his altered state of consciousness. “Chris, can you hear me? Chris, look at me,” she urged as his brown eyes fluttered open momentarily, “Chris, talk to me.” “Julie,” he whispered in a sluggish tone as he reached out to her, “Julie is it really you?” “Chris, it’s me Eve.” “You came back to me,” he smiled as she tried to pull him up from the floor, “I knew you’d come back to me.” “Chris, look at me,” Eve instructed as he nearly tipped over once again. “I love you so much Julie,” he breathed reaching out to her and leaning in as if to kiss her. “Chris, it’s me Eve.” “Eve,” he repeated his eyes focusing as the reality finally set in, “Eve, what are you doing here? Where’s Julie?” “She’s gone Chris,” Eve spoke poignantly though she was certain he needed no reminders, “I’m sorry.” “No, no she can’t be gone,” Chris stammered making his way to his feet, “it’s not possible.” “Chris, I’m sorry,” Eve stood beside him reaching out to him as he nearly toppled over once again. “She can’t be gone,” he began breaking into tears as Eve reached out to him, “why did she leave me? What is it about me that made them take her away?” “Chris, it wasn’t you,” Eve began feeling him sob as she held him, “it wasn’t you.” “Why am I so incapable of being loved? What is wrong with me?” “Nothing’s wrong with you,” Eve assured him, “nothing at all. You’re a wonderful man Chris Ramsey.” “But not wonderful enough to make the woman I love stay with me.” “Chris, if she could’ve stayed, I know in my heart that she would’ve found a way to be here with you, Angel and Christina, but she just couldn’t,” Eve answered tears swelling from her eyes, “it just wasn’t meant to be, but Chris, I know Julie would want you to go on.” “How can I go on without her? How do I make it through one night without having her with me when I just got her back?” “Chris, I know it’s not easy, but I promise you we’ll find a way. Together we’ll find a way to get through this.” “I can’t,” he shook his head. “Yes you can and you will,” she cupped his face in her hands, “look at me Chris.” “Eve, I don’t want to face the world without Julie.” “Chris, you don’t have a choice,” she snapped at him, “this is no longer about you and your pain.” “Eve, don’t you come in here and lecture me,” he frowned seeing the bitterness behind her eyes, “you don’t have a say in my life.” “Like hell I don’t,” she hissed at him, “Julie made me promise her that I would look out for you and Angel and if you hate me for that, then so be it, but I refuse to walk away.” “Eve, I don’t want or need your help. I just want to be left alone.” “Fine Chris maybe that’s how you feel, but I think you owe it to your daughter to at least be honest with yourself long enough to put her first.” “Eve, don’t....” Chris cut back sharply. “Don’t what? Remind you that you have a daughter out in this world? That you have a baby girl who’s desperately in need of her father now more than ever and he’s no where to be found. Chris, I’m not going to let you step away from that little girl when you two need one another now more than ever.” “Eve, please...” “Chris, you haven’t called anyone or been anywhere since the funeral. While I know Angel is safe with Jack and Livvie, they aren’t her parents. They love her, but what she needs the most is you.” “No, she needs Julie and I can’t give her that.” “Chris, what she needs is to know that she has a father that she can count on, someone who is going to love her and keep her safe. Someone who is going to keep the memory of her mother alive for her and provide her with a life that any child would dream of.” “I can’t give her that,” he shook his head reaching out for another bottle of vodka. “Yes, yes you can and you will,” she argued snatching the bottle from his hand, “you’re going to be the kind of father she needs and I’m going to make certain of it.” “Get out of my face Lambert,” he groaned walking away from her. “No, I’m not leaving until you and I get your ass back in line,” Eve placed her hands on her hips firmly, “Chris, now is the time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start being a father.” “Stop feeling sorry for myself? Eve, my wife just died.” “I know that, but you didn’t die with her. You are still alive and you owe it to yourself to keep going, to keep on living.” “It’s not that easy.” “No one ever said it was going to be easy, but I know for damn certain that Julie wouldn’t let you give up and neither will I,” Eve watched him closely, “so now that I’ve told you how it is, you have one of two choices. Either you go get yourself cleaned up and take a shower which you so desperately need or I’ll drag you into the bathroom and throw you into the shower before we go see your daughter and bring her home, which by the way if you chose the later, it probably won’t be as pretty as the first choice I offered up. That’s about all of your options right now.” “Eve, don’t come in here and presume that you can just boss me around,” Chris sneered at her, “You’ve been out of my life for so long you have no business telling me what to do. You have no right to come in here and lecture me on my life.” “Maybe not, but I’m not doing this for me,” Eve insisted reaching for his arm, “I’m doing this for Julie and for Angel and I won’t let them down,” she started dragging him down the hall despite his protests. “Eve, let go of me.” “No.” “Eve, I mean it,” he snarled at her. “I don’t care if you mean it. You’re getting out of this apartment,” she stopped in front of the bathroom door, “now the choice is yours. What are you going to do?” “I’m going to tell you to get the hell out of my apartment,” Chris frowned in response. “Wrong answer,” Eve replied pushing him into the bathroom straight into the shower before stepping aside to turn on the water. “Eve,” Chris screamed out her name as the icy cold shower blast hit him. “You’re not getting out of there until you’ve taken that shower,” she explained, “maybe that will get your head in order.” “I’ll give you order,” he pulled her into the shower with him as she felt the cold pounding over her and she let out a scream, “now what are you going to do?” “I’m going to go clean your house while you get yourself together,” she replied smelling the alcohol on his breath as his hold on her constricted. “Why don’t you just stay here and clean me up,” Chris hinted with a sly grin as he drew her in closer, “I mean you’ve always wanted to get this close to me, so now’s your chance.” “Don’t flatter yourself Ramsey,” Eve groaned as his hands fell upon her pert bottom giving it a squeeze, “you need to sober up.” “Oh come on, Eve,” he leaned in over her, “don’t tell me that you didn’t get me in here for any other reason but the sole purpose of seeing me naked.” “Yeah it’s my lifelong ambition,” Eve rolled her eyes, “you’re right Chris. I wanted to see you naked and now that you have me figured out, well I guess it ruins that idea,” she pressed her palms against his shoulders distancing him from her. “Oh come on Eve,” Chris whispered over her, “why not stay for a while? I can show you just what a good time you’ve been missing out on,” he blurted out leaning forward to give her a sloppy kiss as he pressed her back into the side of the shower. Feeling his body over hers, Eve could sense the desperation behind his kiss as he held her. She knew how much he’d been hurting since Julie left and as he silently begged her to deepen his kiss, she pushed him away catching her breath, “Sober up Chris,” she frowned making her way out of the bathroom as she closed the door behind her thinking about how hard this was going to be after all.
Twenty minutes later Chris emerged from the bathroom feeling a great deal achier as he made his way down the hall into his kitchen hearing the sounds of broken glass as he found Eve sweeping up the floor. “I see you finally got finished in there,” Eve looked over at him, “I was wondering if you’d drown yourself.” “I’d thought about it,” he replied with a sigh reaching for his aching temple, “more than once.” “Well, I’m glad you didn’t because we have a busy day ahead of us,” Eve explained firmly. “Eve, about before,” Chris started uneasily as he thought back to the shower. “Already forgotten,” Eve replied placing the dust pan back where she’d found it, “although if you think I’m going to become your full time cleaning lady, you can think again. And to think you had the nerve to call me a slob in the past.” “Eve, you didn’t have to clean up my apartment,” Chris began with a sigh. “I know that, but I figured if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be done and I don’t want Angel coming home to a dirty house.” “Angel,” Chris repeated feeling guilt wash over him as he thought of his daughter, whom he’d left in Jack and Livvie’s care for over a week now. “That’s right Angel,” Eve nodded, “and I told Jack and Livvie we’d be there shortly after we picked up Danny from daycare, so we’d better hustle if we’re going to make our deadline.” “Eve, I don’t know if leaving is such a good...” “We’re getting your daughter Chris,” Eve cut him off reaching for his hand, “and don’t worry I’ll drive so you can have time to sober up still. In fact,” she reached for a mug she’d had waiting for him on the counter, “try this. It might help.” “Eve,” he began to protest as she tossed out that pointed look at him, “on second thought, never mind.” “Good man,” she smiled approvingly reaching for her car keys as she lead him out of the apartment determined to bring Chris back to his daughter somehow by the end of the day. More than anything she had to find a way to prove to him that his daughter was the one thing worth holding onto and never letting go of.
“Eve, Chris, come on in,” Livvie greeted the both of them with a smile as she opened her front door to them. She smiled at the small child in Eve’s arms, “Danny, hey how are you?” “He’s doing much better now that he’s through with that awful ear infection,” Eve explained as her son wiggled in her arms eagerly anticipating the arrival of Jack and Livvie’s golden retriever Buster. “Doggie,” Daniel began looking to Livvie with expectant eyes. “We have him in the kitchen,” Livvie explained, “Jack thought with Angel around we shouldn’t have him jumping like he tends to do.” “Good thinking,” Eve nodded turning to Chris as she noted a distance behind his eyes, “although you know I’m sure Danny would love for you to take him to see Buster while Chris and I check in on Angel.” “Oh sure,” Livvie nodded, “Jack’s out back at the moment and Angel is napping, but I’m sure she’d love to see her daddy,” Livvie extended her arms out to Daniel, “So what do you say Danny? Should we see Buster?” “Doggie,” he clapped his hands together proudly before nearly leaping into Livvie’s arms. Once Livvie had left the room, Eve turned to her friend, a worried expression over her features as she touched his arm gently, “Ready to go see Angel?” “I don’t know if I can,” Chris felt a bit shaky as he looked to the room she’d been in. “She misses you,” Eve explained with a sight, “Chris, come on. You know she wants to see her daddy.” “Eve, I just don’t know if I can...” Chris began again. “You can,” she reached for his hand lacing their fingers together, “come on. I’ll help you do this,” she whispered as she lead him down the hall. “Eve wait,” Chris stopped her as they stood outside his daughter’s nursery, “I need to do this on my own.” “Are you sure?” “I think it would be best,” Chris nodded taking in a breath as Eve stepped back. “If you need me,” Eve began. “I know,” he nodded, “and Eve I appreciate that.” “I’ll be right here,” she whispered watching him go in to see his daughter as her heart broke for him.
Chris took in a breath, his heart sinking as he noted his sleeping daughter looking at peace in the crib Jack and Livvie had set up for her. As he watched her lost in her dreams, he realized just how much she reminded him of Julie as he felt the tears swell in his eyes. He felt the urge to turn around, to run away, but he pressed on forward wanting nothing more than to be close to his little girl as he’d promised Julie he would be. As he approached her bed, her eyes opened as if she could sense his presence in the room and she sat upright looking to him with a tired smile. “Daddy,” she called out extending her arms out to him, “daddy up.” Chris smiled at his precious daughter seeing the look of happiness behind her eyes upon his arrival and as he reached out to hold her, he felt a pang of guilt wash over him as he thought of how he’d avoided being around her. He’d failed her and in keeping his distance, he’d denied not only himself, but his daughter a chance to heal. As he hugged Angel in his arms, he felt her tiny fingers curl over his shoulder squeezing him. “Daddy, where’s mommy,” she asked looking up at him with confused eyes. “She’s in heaven right now,” Chris explained seeing his daughter’s questioning eyes. “When is she coming back?” “Not for a long time,” Chris offered up sadly. “Will I see her again?” Angel questioned. “One day,” Chris promised kissing her forehead gently, “but you know what, I think I see her right now.” “Where?” Angel asked hopeful. “Right here,” he lead her over to the mirror in the room, “right there.” Angel shook her head as a tiny laugh overcame her, “Daddy, that’s not mommy that’s me.” “That’s right, but you have so much of your mommy in you,” He kissed her forehead sweeping away her dark tresses, “you are so much like her.” “Really?” “Yes really,” he nodded with a smile, “and I see that each day.” “Daddy, when can we go home,” Angel questioned softly snuggling into her father. “Soon,” he promised hugging her, “in fact I came over here to bring you home.” “You did?” she asked looking up at him with hopeful eyes. “I did,” he nodded, “your Aunt Eve thought you might want to come home. Was she right?” Angel nodded before curling into her father once again. He hugged her tightly thinking about how much she meant to him as the door opened a crack and Eve popped her head in, “You about ready?” “I think we are,” Chris nodded in response. “Hey Angel,” Eve greeted her with a smile. “Eve,” Angel’s face lit up as Eve entered the room, “hi.” “Hi honey,” Eve walked over to her kissing her gently, “how are you?” “I’m going home,” Angel boasted proudly. “That’s wonderful news,” Eve replied with a smile as she touched Angel’s tiny hand, “you know your daddy has some really wonderful surprises for you when you get home.” “Really?” “That’s right,” Chris smiled, “we have some presents waiting for you.” “Right after your daddy says goodbye to Aunt Livvie and Uncle Jack, we’ll get you and Danny back to your house.” “Danny’s here,” Angel’s eyes widened. “That’s right,” Eve nodded in response, “he’s in the kitchen with Aunt Livvie.” “Can we see him?” Angel asked her father hopeful. “Of course we can,” Chris nodded kissing her tiny forehead as he offered up a look towards Eve thanking her for talking him into his senses and finding his way back to his daughter.
“Right this way,” Chris breezed into the apartment with Danny and Angel in his arms as he made airplane sounds flying them around as Eve followed with a smile upon her face as she closed the door behind them, “how about ice cream.” “Yeah,” the children cried out excitedly as Chris turned to Eve offering up a goofy grin. “A little help,” Chris smiled, “please?” “Well I guess I can take these two,” Eve stepped forward as Chris shook his head decidedly. “Oh no, not these two,” he shook his head again, “I meant with the ice cream.” “Oh I see how it is. You want me to be the scooper,” Eve gave him a look. “That’s right,” Chris nodded, “I have a video game I want to show these two. Come on,” he began soaring the children over towards the television as each one giggled excitedly. Eve shook her head after a moment before slipping into the kitchen and pulling out the half gallon of ice cream that had been inside his freezer. As she set it on the counter, she felt the vibration of her cell phone going off as she reached for it noting the number before turning it off and setting it on the counter. After she finished scooping two bowls for the children she stepped out into the living room finding both Daniel and Angel asleep on Chris’ lap over by the fireplace. “I guess too much excitement got to them,” Chris offered with a half grin. “Apparently,” Eve sighed, “so much for ice cream.” “Oh no, I’m starved,” Chris motioned for her to join him, “bring it over.” “Alright,” Eve agreed handing him over a bowl carefully before sitting beside him next to the fireplace, “so...” “Eve,” Chris began clearing his throat, “thank you.” “For what?” “For this,” he looked down to his daughter bringing his fingers through her dark tresses, “I was too much of a fool to see what I was missing out on in staying away from her.” “Chris, I know things aren’t going to be easy,” Eve started with a sigh, “but somehow I think you still have a chance at happiness. I think if you really want to have a family, here’s your chance,” Eve motioned towards Angel, “she’s a beautiful little girl and she deserves nothing less than the best.” “I know that and it was crazy of me not to be with her,” Chris sighed, “I know she needs nothing but love and support right now.” “I know she’ll have it with you,” Eve reached out to him squeezing his hand gently, “she’s in good hands.” “I just wish,” Chris sighed, “I just wish that Julie was still here. She should be with us, watching Angel grow.” “Somewhere she’s looking down on you,” Eve answered supportively, “I have no doubt in my mind about that.” “I’d like to think so, but you know sometimes it’s hard to believe when life throws you a curve ball like this,” Chris confessed, “she and I had so little time together and I had so many plans for us.” “I know you did,” Eve nodded listening to him speak freely about his late wife, “but you know the dreams aren’t over now that she’s gone. You still have Angel with you and she’s part of more dreams that you and Julie have created together.” “I just hope I don’t let her down,” Chris turned to his daughter, “she’s already been through so much.” “She knows she’s safe with you and it shows just how much she loves you already,” Eve hesitated, “have you spoken with Lucy?” “About Christina?” “Well, I know Angel must wonder about her sister,” Eve nodded. “I’m sure she does, but I don’t think Lucy would let us visit.” “To hell with Lucy,” Eve decided, “I’ll call Kevin and set something up for you.” “Why are you doing this Eve?” “What do you mean?” she questioned with a soft smile. “Why are you investing so much time in seeing to it that I don’t screw up,” Chris asked with a teasing grin, “normally you just let me fall flat on my face.” “Usually that’s a fun thing to watch, but this time around,” Eve touched the tiny little girl’s shoulder and smiled, “we have so much more at stake.” “So we do,” he replied lacing his fingers over hers as he placed his head on her shoulder, “what would I do without you?” “Well, you’d probably be a mess,” Eve teased. “Wait a second Lambert,” he turned to her, “I’m not the one who has had a train wreck run over their life repeatedly,” he paused, “well actually...” “Hey, don’t mention it,” she turned to her son, “I think we’ve all had our share of ups and downs.” “Indeed we have,” he looked her over thoughtfully, “but it seems like everything worked out for the best or at least the best it could be considering.” “So it did,” she nodded turning her eyes back to him again, “you know I have an idea. Why don’t we put these two down and then we could talk for a while like the good old days?” “You think we could arrange that,” Chris questioned seeing the smile that followed her statement. “Well, you know Danny doesn’t look like he’s ready to go home yet, so why don’t we just get him and Angel settled in and then I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” “Hmm, being served on by Eve Lambert,” Chris pretended to think it over, “why that’s the best news I’ve heard in a while.” “Don’t get too used to it,” Eve warned reaching for her son, “it’s not going to be an everyday occurrence.” “Fair enough,” he replied nodding as they took their children into Angel’s nursery and set them both down for a long overdue nap.
“Try this,” Eve offered handing a mug over to Chris as they reentered the living room taking a seat on the sofa. “I don’t know if I should drink your coffee. It’s been known to be toxic in the past,” Chris teased lightly. “Even so, this time it won’t kill you,” Eve replied with a hint of a smile, “I won’t give you the luxury of taking the easy way out.” “Nothing about my life is easy,” he confessed taking a sip of the steaming liquid from within the mug. “Nothing ever is, but you know I’ve heard it’s the miracles that keep you going. You know the hope that there’s some ultimate purpose out there, that maybe just maybe there is a chance for something to go right.” “You really never did give up that optimistic side, have you?” “You had me pegged long ago when you called me a closet romantic,” Eve confessed, “but you know it doesn’t end there. In fact, I can tell you from experience that after I had Daniel, my whole outlook on life changed. It wasn’t just about me and my needs anymore.” “Eve, I don’t doubt that you’re a good mother to Daniel, but I can’t be the mother in Angel’s life...” “No and no one would ever expect it, but you are her father and you need to be there to remind her of what it was that her mother stood for in both of your lives. Julie endured a great sacrifice in coming back here to see to it that her children were left in the arms of those who loved them. She came a long way to ensure Angel’s happiness and I know the last thing she’d want would be for you to let go of the hope she’d had for you.” “Eve, it’s not that simple,” Chris began with a sigh, “I mean I know what I promised her I would do, what I’d said I’d go on with, but now that she’s gone....” “Losing someone you love is never easy,” she reached for his hand, “but I think the hardest part is keeping it all inside. If you don’t accept and embrace the pain and try to move forward, then all you’ll have is the past and the ghosts of what might’ve been.” “Eve, I loved Julie,” Chris confessed tears threatening as he squeezed her hand, “she was the only woman who ever saw me for me.” “That’s not true,” Eve shook her head, “she was just the one that you chose to let in. Plenty of people know you have a lot of heart.” “Yeah right. Like who?” “Well for starters,” Eve paused, “me.” “Eve,” he met her concerned eyes, “that’s different.” “Why is it different?” “Because you’re my martini buddy. You’ve seen me high and low, good and bad.” “So and that makes me an exclusion why again?” “Because you and I, well, what we have is just different,” Chris thought it over with a sigh. “Different yes, but still very special in it’s own way and I know that someday you’re going to have that love in your life that you’ve always dreamed of. You are capable of so much Chris and when I see you with Angel, I know that you’re going to be the best father in the world to her. You’re going to be a dad that she can be proud of, someone she can turn to when she needs support and most of all you’ll be someone that loves her very much and won‘t ever let her down.” “Since when did you get such unwavering faith in me?” Chris questioned curiously as he noted the impassioned tone in her voice. “I think deep down I’ve always had it, but I never really felt you needed to hear it,” Eve hesitated, “it wasn’t until only recently that I realized I should’ve told you sooner just how special you really are to me. I love you Ramsey.” “I love you too Lambert,” he offered with a smile as she reached out to embrace him, “a part of me always has.” “I know,” she whispered kissing his cheek gently, “and it’s all the more reason that I felt you needed to know how I felt about having you in my life,” she explained her arms still wrapped around him, “when Julie left this world, she reminded me of all the things I’d overcome, all the changes that have taken place in our lives and most of all, she reminded me of the importance of those you care about. You and Angel have both come into my life and I realize that not only do you both need me, but I need you. I need you to be here for me, to be the man who’s always been there, who’s been my shoulder, only this time I need you to show me what’s going on inside of you. I need to know your heart and help you heal.” “Eve,” Chris squeezed her tighter as his eyes misted over, “it’s just so hard to let go,” he confessed the pain surfacing, “after all this time...” “I know,” Eve whispered running her fingers through his hair as she held him, “but you don’t have to let go, just keep moving forward.” “I’m afraid,” Chris confessed tearfully, “I’m so afraid to move forward knowing what is ahead.” “Chris, you don’t know what’s ahead,” Eve tried to assure him, “none of us do which is why we need to make the most of what we have now. Of who we are and what we have,” she pulled back slowly bringing her hand over his cheek wiping at a salty tear, “which is why you need to cherish all the gifts you’ve been given.” “Like Angel,” he sighed thinking of his foolishness in staying away from his daughter. “Exactly,” she nodded watching his eyes before she reached out to him drawing him into her arms. Chris was hesitant at first, but as he closed his eyes feeling the warmth of her caring body against his, he lay across her lap feeling her fingers press through his hair and the sensation of being alone was soon a fading memory as he found himself at ease in the security of her support. Silently he listened to her soothing words of comfort as she caressed his cheek gently keeping him close to her as he found a long forgotten peace in her arms and for the first time in weeks he found himself asleep at last. “Just dream,” Eve whispered watching him lost in his slumber as she held him, “just dream about all the promise the future holds in store for you,” she finished with a soft smile, “I know it’s there waiting for you.”
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