TITLE: LOVE
MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS—CHAPTER FOUR
AUTHOR: Cindy Wylie (RkieFan1960@AOL.com) 
AUTHOR’S NOTES: This chapter is going to explain the reasons for Jill’s return to California.
CHAPTER FOUR:
Putting The Pieces Back Together
Jill was working at the hospital on a scorching August morning. Her supervisor, Meggy Moran, was instructing her on filling out charts.
“You want to abbreviate where you can. Just remember what your abbreviations stand for. Also, if you can’t read the doctor’s handwriting, ask them to write more legibly on their charts. It isn’t a crime to tell them you can’t read their writing. So, how are things going with your husband?” Meggy asked curiously.
“My husband’s middle name should be ‘Babe, I really don’t understand what you’re so upset about.’ Do men lack a gene that gives them common sense?” Jill wondered as Meggy laughed.
“One afternoon, my daughters asked their father if they could play in the kitchen. He told them they could, not knowing they were going to play in the sugar and flour canisters. My kitchen was white for weeks,” Meggy sighed.
“Well, anyway, he’s taking me somewhere romantic Saturday night, which means I have to dress up. He knows how I hate to dress up,” Jill groaned as she made a face.
“At least he’s doing everything possible to sweep you off of your feet,” Meggy told her as Jill nodded.
Mike was spending most of his evenings at Jill’s apartment after he got off work. She still refused to go home with him. He’d help her with her studying or they’d talk about neutral topics. The one thing she still wasn’t ready to talk about was why she’d returned to California. That was all about to change. Mike came over that night and suggested that they take a walk along the beach. Jill was agreeable and they strolled along hand-in-hand, watching the people along the beach. Mike found a spot on the sand and they sat down, watching the sun go down.
“So, is Trap still not speaking to you?” Mike suddenly asked.
“He called the other night. He wanted to know if I was seeing you,” she answered.
“I take it that I don’t want to know what his response was,” Mike smiled. “You never did tell me what your disagreement was about.”
“He wanted me to hire a divorce lawyer,” she admitted with a sigh. “Then he was upset because I refused to move with him to the valley. It was a long endless argument.”
“I don’t understand why you’re here either, Jill. You were a military dependent. You could have easily gotten quarters at Fort Ord,” he reminded her.
“I didn’t want to live on another base. Can we go back to the apartment? It’s chilly out here,” she stated with a shiver. She rapidly got to her feet and stalked off rapidly.
“I wish you’d talk to me about this,” he complained, trying to keep up with her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she panted, now practically running toward the apartment.
When they got back to the apartment Mike closed the door as Jill grabbed her sweater off the back of a chair and slipped it on. When he tried to pull her close she shrugged out of his grasp and sat down.
“Jill, what’s wrong? I thought things were beginning to get back on track with us. For the record, my cold water usage has gone way up,” he grinned, hoping she’d also see the humor.
She glared at him.
“What happened to make you run away like you did? Did Cleve start coming around again?”
“No, I haven’t seen or heard from Cleve since before we got married. I just wish you’d written to me once in a while,” she admitted in a soft voice as she stared out the window. “I wasn’t even sure you were getting all of my letters.”
“I got them. That’s how I knew where to send my checks. That’s also how I knew where you were, although I wasn’t sure how to find you. Trap suggested that I get an atlas and look for directions. Then he told me you were working at the bowling alley. I really hate you working out there,” he commented.
“Well, I had to do something and being a waitress was something I already knew how to do!” She snapped. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to be there much longer. If it embarrasses you, just tell your friends that I’m going to school. It’s not a complete lie.”
“You don’t embarrass me, Jill,” he corrected quickly. He went to her side and put his hand on her shoulder. “Please tell me what happened. You always said you’d never come back here. If it wasn’t Cleve, then what was it?”
“I shouldn’t have stayed on base! I should’ve gone back to the trailer or even back out to my grandfathers! I was home one afternoon doing laundry. I heard someone banging on the front door. I went to open it and that was the last thing I remember,” she choked out, fighting rising hysteria as Mike stared at her, stunned. “I passed out because the base commander and the chaplain were standing on our front porch. It turns out that they’d made a mistake and were at the wrong house. Then they wouldn’t stop apologizing. I couldn’t stand it any more. I went out, rented a U-Haul, packed up our stuff and left.”
“God, babe, I’m so sorry,” he muttered in a subdued voice, trying once again to pull her close.
"Sorry?” She exclaimed in a shrill voice as she slapped him away and stalked over to the window. “ Is that all you have to say?! The base commander comes to the wrong house to make a condolence call and you’re sorry?! Why couldn’t you put a pen to a sheet of paper and write to me once in a while, Mike?! I even got so desperate that I called your parents and asked them if they’d heard from you! You just walked into that bowling alley in a police uniform, thinking that once I saw you everything would be just fine! I was expecting you back in November…not the middle of June! There’s nothing you can say to me that’s going to make things better!” She continued ranting at him as tears began to roll down her face.
“I know that,” he admitted in a guilty voice. “I’m not going to try to say things to make things better. I just want to try to start over. We can do this, Jill. I know you’re angry and you have every right to be, but I do love you. I want to try to recapture what we had before I left.”
“Sometimes I get so scared that I start hyperventilating,” she confessed in a shaky voice. “One of the ER doctors told me that I needed to learn how to relax. I couldn’t make him understand that the only way I could do that is when I knew where you were and that you were okay.”
Mike felt like kicking himself as he once again walked over and tried to pull her close. This time she didn’t resist, but clung to him as she continued to cry. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he started to stroke her back. He led her back over to the sofa and sat down, pulling her close beside him. “I wish you’d think again about moving back in with me.”
“I need more time, Mike. Please try to understand,” she pleaded.
He spent the next several days trying to get in touch with her but she was never home. He finally got in touch with her Thursday afternoon. “You’re a difficult lady to get a hold of,” he teased when she answered the phone.
“Mike, I work and go to school. Most days I barely have time to breathe,” she complained.
“Hey, are you free Saturday?” He asked.
“Yeah, I have Saturday off. Why?” She asked curiously.
“Well, I’d like to pick you up early in the morning and spend the day with you. I’ll take you to my favorite place in Southern California, then I’ll take you back to the apartment and cook you dinner.”
“So, where is your favorite place in Southern California or is it a big secret?” Jill queried in a warm voice, smiling despite herself.
“The Santa Monica Pier,” he smiled. “Have you ever been there?”
“No. So, what time are you going to pick me up?” She wanted to know.
“How about nine?”
“That’s perfect. I’ll see you then,” she confirmed as she hung up.
Saturday morning was a clear day without a cloud in the sky. Jill dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Thinking about what Mike had said about cooking dinner for her, she also decided to take a spare change of clothes for the next morning, because she knew she wasn’t going to come back to the apartment.
Mike rang the doorbell exactly at nine. He smiled when Jill answered the door. “Hi, are you ready to go?”
“Yeah,” she smiled as she kissed him.
They had a great time at the pier. They walked around sharing cotton candy, popcorn, holding hands and sharing kisses. They walked up onto the pier where they sat on a bench and watched the surfers. Then they got up and wandered among the vendors, looking at all manner of arts and crafts.
It was late afternoon before they started walking back to Mike’s car, full of the sun and the salty air. “So, what’re you going to cook me for dinner?” Jill asked curiously.
“Ah, that’s a surprise,” he said mysteriously as he started the car and started to weave his way past the pedestrian traffic that clogged Santa Monica.
“I had a nice time today,” she admitted as she leaned her head on his shoulder in contentment.
“I’m glad. I love this place,” he told her as he got on the freeway and drove toward the apartment.
He pulled into his parking slot half an hour later, relieved that Terry’s car wasn’t home. He’d already told his neighbors that he’d be unavailable that night, but he also knew how curious they were about Jill. He led Jill upstairs and showed her around the apartment before leading her back into the living room.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen.
“Yeah, that would be nice,” she answered as he poured wine into two glasses and came back to sit beside her. “The apartment’s nice.”
“Thanks, but it really needs a woman’s touch,” he whispered, leaning toward her and kissing her.
“We still need to work things out,” she reminded him.
“I know, but is there any reason why we can’t work things out with you living here with me?” He questioned.
“No,” she admitted as she took his hand and intertwined her fingers with his.
He took her glass of wine and set it on the table before pulling her closer to him. “I missed you so much, Jill,” he whispered in a husky voice, brushing her hair from her eyes and kissed her.
“You have a strange way of showing it. I mean, you were gone for almost two years,” she accused as she pulled away from him.
“I know we aren’t done fighting about this, but can we at least put it on hold for a little while? I had big plans for tonight,” he complained.
“I know you did. That’s why I need the keys to your car,” she smiled.
“My keys? Why?” He asked.
“Because I have a small bag in your back seat,” she grinned, kissing him as she got up. “I thought they taught you these things in cop school.”
“I haven’t gotten to the class where I’m supposed to learn how to decode my spouse,” he mock complained as he handed her his keys.
“I’ll be right back,” she promised as she left the apartment.
Mike grinned as he watched Jill leave. He knew she was still angry and upset, but he also knew how to push her buttons. He walked back toward the bathroom before she got back. He wanted to add one very romantic touch to their evening before cooking dinner.
He was in the kitchen putting potatoes in the oven when Jill walked in with the small overnight bag. “I’m going to put this in the bedroom,” she told him as he nodded.
“Is there anything you need for me to do?” She asked when she came out of the bedroom a few minutes later.
“No. I told you that I was going to cook you dinner. Sit and relax,” he instructed her.
Jill sat and watched Mike from her vantage point on the sofa but she couldn’t make herself relax. She didn’t remember being this nervous the first time they were together. She tried to think of something to say to break the ice. “Are your friends, Willie and Terry, married?”
“No, they think matrimony’s like the plague and they’re determined to avoid it at all costs,” Mike grinned.
“I didn’t get to talk to them very much the night of the party. Although Willie made a comment about the fact that you said I never sleep. She grinned at the look on Mike’s face..
He grimaced. “I’m sorry, babe. I was upset one morning after you’d called and I made that comment in anger.”
Jill got up off of the sofa and walked into the kitchen where Mike was preparing a salad. He smiled as she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. “We could always skip dinner,” he teased as he kissed her, letting his hands roam down her back.
“If we skip dinner the steaks and potatoes are going to burn,” she murmured into his mouth as he reluctantly pulled away.
“I do have a surprise for you after dinner, though,” he promised her as he went back to fixing thesalad.
“What?” She asked curiously, her eyes lighting up.
“It’s a surprise,” he told her mysteriously.
After dinner, Jill helped Mike clean up the kitchen before they both settled down on the sofa. He pulled her closer to him and began to plant soft kisses down her face before capturing her lips with his own. She softly moaned into his mouth as he let his hands leisurely explore her body through her clothes.
“You said you had a surprise for me,” she reminded him as he began kissing her neck.
“Yeah. Wait here for just a second,” he instructed her as he suddenly got up and walked toward the bedroom. “Okay, you can come in now,” he called out a few minutes later.
Jill walked back toward the bedroom and was surprised and delighted to find scented candles lit all over the bathroom countertop. Mike smiled at her from the doorway. “Take a bath with me?” He suggested in a seductive voice and holding out his hand.
He undressed and got into the tub first, and then he helped Jill as she got in and leaned back against him in the warm water. “I’ve missed this,” she sighed as he wrapped his arms around her.
“I missed you so much,” he whispered as he kissed her neck.
“Mike, please stop telling me how much you missed me. If you missed me as much as you claimed you would’ve found me in November,” she remarked irritably.
“I’m sorry, baby. I love you very much,” he stressed.
She craned around to look at him. “I love you, too, but I’m still angry. I don’t want to talk about it any more right now. I just want to lay here in this tub with you and just enjoy being together,” she lightly rubbed his legs as she leaned back against him. “The candles are a nice touch.”
“Thanks. I thought you might appreciate them,” he smiled, lightly caressing her neck and shoulders before gradually moving his hands lower.
Jill placed her hands over Mike’s as they rested on her breasts. She’d missed relaxing together in a warm bath…something she’d thought of as crazy the first time he’d ever suggested it to her. “Did I tell you what a nice time I had today?” She asked him sleepily.
“About a dozen times. Hey, don’t fall asleep on me. I also happen to have big plans for this evening,” he murmured huskily as he stroked her stomach.
“I know, I can tell,” she teased as she turned around to look at him. But there was nothing teasing about the look in his eyes as he pulled her close and kissed her, gently at first, then with ever-increasing passion.
“Do you want to take this to the other room?” He gasped.
She pulled away and nodded as she tried to catch her breath.
Mike got out first and held out a big, fluffy bath towel that she stepped into gratefully as he began to slowly towel her dry.
Jill traced her fingers down his chest as he continued drying her off. It wasn’t long before he dropped the towel to the floor and gathered her into his arms as he began kissing his way down her body, quickly sending her senses reeling.
Mike reached down and picked up the discarded towel and wrapped it tightly around her before lifting her into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom. She smiled up at him as he lay her down before lying down beside her. Leaning on one elbow, she traced her fingers down his chest, examining new scars and bruises.
“How’d you get these?” She murmured as she pointed at some fading bruises on his ribs.
“Self defense courses at the academy. I got flipped by an instructor three inches shorter and forty pounds lighter than me,” he explained.
“Well, you know they say that what goes around comes around,” she smiled.
“I hope so,” he whispered as he pulled his hands closer and let his hands wander, lightly stroking her body under the towel before opening it and lighting kissing his way down her neck and throat as she moaned her approval.
“Michael, I need you so badly,” she moaned as he moved back up and covered her body with his own. He moved slowly at first, before gradually thrusting faster as passion overtook them both. She held onto him tightly and cried out his name when she reached her climax.
“I love you, Jill,” he gasped as he collapsed onto her shoulder.
“I love you, too,” she told him as she lightly stroked his back and shoulders before he slowly rolled over and pulled her close to him.
They both soon fell asleep in each other’s arms. Mike woke up some time later to find Jill on the far side of the bed with her arms wrapped around herself. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled as she felt his arms and legs wrapped securely around her.
She woke up the next morning when she felt Mike getting up. “Where are you going?” She whispered as she reached for him.
“I have to go to work,” he told her as he got out of bed.
“You didn’t tell me you had to work today. If you’d told me that, I wouldn’t have agreed to stay the night,” she bristled.
“Look, I’ll be home after four,” he answered in a placating voice as he pulled on his robe and walked into the kitchen. “We can have dinner and talk. Do you want coffee?”
“No, I don’t want coffee! What am I supposed to do around here all day while you’re at work?” She demanded, getting up and wrapping the discarded towel around her as she followed Mike.
“I don’t know. I can take you back to the beach if that’s what you really want, but I was hoping you’d stay here,” he admitted as he got the can of coffee out of the refrigerator.
“I can be dressed by the time you get the coffee made,” she snapped in an icy voice. She turned and stalked into the other room as Mike sighed and shook his head.
They didn’t speak as Mike drove her back to Venice. He looked at her as he parked in front of the apartment. “Can I see you later?” He asked as she opened the car door.
“Call me when
you get home and I’ll see if I’m free,” she suggested in a sarcastic voice
as she got out of the car and slammed the door.
Terry and Willie were sitting in Roll Call when Mike walked in with a morose look on his face. “How’d the reunion go last night?” Terry asked.
“Oh, last night was great,” Mike complained as he sat down heavily and slowly started to change into his uniform. “This morning was a total disaster. She thought we had the whole weekend,” he grumbled as the guys looked at each other.
“Mike, why didn’t you just tell her that you weren’t off this weekend,” Willie wanted to know.
“I don’t know,” Mike groaned. “I don’t know when my life got so complicated.”
“Your life got complicated when you disappeared for nineteen months and didn’t bother writing to your wife,” Terry reminded him in a pointed voice.
“Thanks for being so understanding, Terrance. I thought you were supposed to be on my side,” Mike groused as he rolled his eyes.
“I’m not on
anybody’s side. I’m just saying that maybe Jill has a right to be
mad. You’re acting like she’s supposed to just drop everything she’s
upset about and move back in with you. Just drop back and give her
some time. I’m sure she’ll move back in with you as soon as she’s
ready,” Terry suggested.
Jill moped around her apartment all morning, alternating between tears and extreme anger at her husband. The night before had been wonderful. She’d almost forgotten the way Mike could make her feel. She just wished he could stop acting like everything was fine.
She was sitting on her steps later that afternoon when she saw Mike walking across the grass toward the apartment. “I was afraid that if I called you’d hang up on me,” he grinned, walking up and standing in front of her.
“If you’d called this morning, you’d probably be right, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’ve come to a conclusion,” she told him.
“Oh, yeah? What kind of a conclusion?” He asked in a wary voice as he sat on the steps beside her.
“First off, I want you to know that I’m still angry about your disappearing act, but I’m tired of the constant fighting. I’m also tired of us being apart. I was thinking that maybe it’s about time that I came home,” she announced.
“Are you sure? Oh baby, that’s great!” He exclaimed happily as he pulled her close and hugged her tightly.
“I’ll get a U-Haul on my day off and pack everything up. It should only take one load,” she told him with a forced smile.
“Wait, I’ve got a better idea. Let me talk to the guys and we’ll get together and help move your stuff. I’m so glad you’ve decided to come home, Jill. I’ve missed you…” he began.
She held up her hand to stop his flood of words and sighed in frustration, trying not to lose her temper. “Mike, if you tell me one more time how much you missed me, I’m going to slug you. I know that you missed me. Please don’t tell me again. I missed you, too, and I worried about you. But, Mike, you’re not making this any easier by what you’re doing now. I don’t see the difference between being in the Army and being a cop. I love you and I really want to be with you. Just let me throw a few things together,” she got up and walked upstairs to her apartment.
Mike talked to Willie and Terry and they got Jill moved after they got off duty one afternoon. It was after dark before they got the last box of stuff moved into the apartment and collapsed on the sofa in total exhaustion. Jill stood in the middle of the now very cluttered living room and grinned at the three men.
“What’re you grinning at?” Mike groused, opening one eye to look at his wife.
“Well, I thought you guys might be hungry after all of that manual labor, so I took the liberty of ordering pizza,” she informed them as Willie visibly brightened.
“Hey, Mike, does she have any sisters?” Willie asked.
“Half sisters and they’re all married,” Jill informed him as she went into the kitchen and came back with three beers, handing one to each of them before sitting down beside Mike. “Thanks for getting my stuff.”
“You can thank me later when you’re massaging my aching back,” Mike groaned as Jill leaned over and kissed him. He opened his eyes and smiled at her as the doorbell rang.
“That’ll be the pizza,” she said, getting up and going to the door.
<><><><><><><><>
Several mornings later Mike quietly came into the apartment, feeling stunned. He walked quietly down the hall to his and Jill’s bedroom and leaned against the doorway, watching his wife sleep. It had been a long, difficult morning and it wasn’t going to get any easier.
Jill woke up when she sensed that Mike was home. She never slept well when Mike worked at night. At the moment, she was working three to eleven, so Mike would get in bed with her when he arrived home in the mornings.
“Mike, are you all right? What time is it?” She asked in a sleepy voice as she sat up and stared at the alarm clock. It was almost ten o’clock. “Why are you home so late?”
“Something happened earlier this morning,” he began in a quiet voice, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge of it.
“What is that smell?” Jill asked, cringing back in distaste.
“Probably tear gas. I changed out of my uniform but I didn’t get a chance to shower. This guy holed up in Primrose Stadium earlier this morning. Jared Whitman shot a tear gas canister in to try to force the guy out. For whatever reason, Jared went in after him and they ended up shooting each other. I’ve been at the precinct with the rest of the squad giving statements to R&I. I would’ve called but I didn’t have the chance to get to a phone.”
“Is Jared dead?” She finally managed in a stunned voice.
Mike closed his eyes and slowly nodded.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close, trying to avoid asking the one question that was upper-most on her mind.
“None of us understand why he went in after the guy,” Mike lamented as he held tightly onto Jill.
“How did they tell his wife?” Jill finally asked in a panicked voice.
“What?” He asked in surprise as he pulled away from her.
“I know he was married, Mike. I met his wife the night we went to that party. How did they tell his wife that he was dead?,” she pleaded as she stared at him with wide eyes.
“I don’t know how they told her, Jill,” he answered in a tight voice as he got to his feet and started pacing back and forth. “I’m assuming that the lieutenant probably told her. Why are you obsessing about this?!”
“I’ve seen your lieutenant and in a lot of ways, I consider him scarier than the blue cars! Mike, you think you’ve changed careers but you really haven’t! You may have exchanged one type of uniform for another! Who cares if the news comes in the form of a blue car or a blue-uniformed police lieutenant?” She exclaimed.
“I’m taking a shower,” he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t deal with you when you’re like this,” he stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Jill threw the covers back and got up when Mike left the room. Throwing her robe on, she went into the kitchen and made coffee, slamming cabinet doors as she did. She didn’t see how she could make Mike understand her fears. She was sorry his friend had died, but what he failed to understand was that it just as easily could’ve been him. She’d never met Jared so she didn’t feel the kind of grief she would’ve felt if it had been Mike or even Willie or Terry. She’d met his wife, Birgitta, the night she had gotten back together with Mike. She remembered Birgitta telling her how lucky they were to be married to police officers. How it was that they always made sure they told their husbands how much they loved them because they could never be sure if they were going to come home from work or not. Jill sure as hell didn’t feel lucky at the moment. She felt like her world was crashing in on her.
Mike came into the room several minutes later. He sat down at the bar and glared at Jill as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him. He was about to say something further when the phone rang. Jill picked it up. “Hello?” She asked.
“May I speak to Danko, please?” An unfamiliar voice demanded.
“May I ask who’s calling, please?” Jill asked as pleasantly as she could.
“Lt. Ryker.”
“Hold on. It’s Lt. Ryker,” Jill said, holding the receiver out towards Mike.
“Hello?” Mike asked, taking the phone from Jill, who then left the room.
“Danko, Mrs. Whitman has requested that you, Gillis, Lassitur and Webster serve as pallbearers at her husband’s funeral. If you’d rather not, she says she’ll understand…”
“Tell her that I’d be honored, sir,” Mike interrupted. “If you speak with her before the funeral, please tell her to let us know if she needs anything.”
“I will, Danko. The funeral’s Friday morning at 10 a.m. I’ll see you at muster tonight,” the lieutenant told him as he hung up.
Mike hung up and walked back toward the bedroom where Jill was brushing her hair. “Birgitta Whitman wants me and the guys to serve as pallbearers for Jared’s service. It’s this Friday morning. I’ll have to meet you at the police academy, unless you’d rather not attend,” he concluded coldly.
“Would you rather that I not attend, Mike?” She asked in a small voice as she turned to face him, hairbrush frozen in mid-air.
“That’s not what I meant,” he explained with a sigh. “I just figured you wouldn’t want to go to the funeral as upset as you are right now.”
“I am upset, but I also think I should be there to show my respect. Why is the service at the academy?” She asked.
“I’m not sure. They always have the services at the chapel there,” he told her as she put her brush down. “I’m going to go over to Willie and Terry’s for a while. Do you want to come?”
“No, I need to go to the store and then get ready for work,” she remarked as he started to walk out of the door. “Mike?”
“Yeah?” He asked, turning around.
“I love you,” she whispered in a choked voice.
“I love you, too,” he smiled, walking over and pulling her close. “Wake me up if I’m asleep when you get home from your errands.”
“Okay,” she promised as she kissed him.
When she returned from the store a little over an hour later she found Mike sprawled on top of the bed, sound asleep. Jill stood in the doorway and watched him for several minutes. Tears filled her eyes as she silently asked herself how she’d tten herself into this. As much as she loved Mike, she just wasn’t sure she could be the wife of a police officer. She walked over to the bed and lay down beside him. He sleepily opened his eyes and slipped his arm around her, drawing her close.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she confessed softly.
“I told you to wake me up,” he reminded her with a kiss.
“Mike, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so angry. Maybe I’m being selfish, I don’t know,” she admitted as she wiped her eyes..
“You’re not being selfish,” he assured her. “I think maybe it’s me. When I left you in Alabama I was a soldier and when I came back I was a cop. It must have felt like I’d thrown you head first into ten feet of water.”
“I just can’t help thinking that it could’ve been you that got killed in that stadium this morning and I don’t think I could deal with that,” she admitted as she began to cry again.
“Babe, you have to trust me. I’m not going to ever do anything as stupid as what Jared Whitman did this morning. Ryker tried to stop him, but he went running into that scoreboard full tilt like he was the damned cavalry or something,” he told her.
“How can you know you’re never going to do something that stupid? You don’t know what kind of situations you’re going to run into,” she told him as she curled closer to him.
“I know, but I’m also a little older than most of those guys and so I’d like to think it gives me a little bit more in the common sense department. Do you know how much I love you?” He asked her as she slowly nodded. “I’d never leave you alone if I could possibly prevent it.”
“I love you so much, Mike,” she whispered as he kissed her.
“I love you, too. So, tell me, do you want to fool around?”
“I don’t have time to fool around,” she got off of the bed as he tried to pull her back. “I have to get ready for work. Go back to sleep and if you have time, we’ll fool around in the morning when you get home.”
“I’m a man. I always have time to fool around,” he grinned as she rolled her eyes.
The funeral service Friday morning was very hard to take. Jill stood with Molly Lassitur and Meggy Moran, watching Birgitta Whitman trying so hard to be brave in front of Jared’s parents. She jumped a foot in the air when the police honor guard fired the 21-gun salute. Afterwards there was a small reception at the Whitman’s home. Jill stood there watching the men acting like they had at the party a few months before. A voice in the back of her head kept repeating ‘I can’t do this.’ .
“Hey, you’re being awfully quiet,” Terry commented as he came up from behind her.
"Yeah, I know,” Jill answered as she forced herself to smile. “I think I’m going to pay my respects to Birgitta and get out of here. Let me go tell Mike,” she said, walking away and leaving Terry in stunned silence. Mike was standing in a corner, talking to Kevin Lassitur and Willie when Jill approached them. “Mike, I’m going to go back to the apartment. I’ll see you there later.”
“Are you okay?” Mike asked in concern.
“Yeah, I just want to go home,” she told him again.
“Okay, I’ll get a ride home with the guys and I’ll see you there in a little while,” he told her as he kissed her.
When Jill got home a short time later the first thing she did was take a shower and change clothes. Then she sat on the sofa and tried to gather her thoughts. There were times when she felt like the Mike she was living with now was a completely different man than the one she had lived with and loved in Alabama. She knew that he had a duty and a responsibility as one of Jared’s pallbearers, but he’d barely said two words to her since the night before when he’d called her from work to give her last minute instructions regarding this morning’s services. She knew he probably wouldn’t want to talk much when he got home from Jared’s house since he needed to get some sleep before going back on duty that night. Her mind kept flashing back to poor Birgitta Whitman. She looked so young and alone. Jill couldn’t help thinking that it could’ve just have easily had been her in that position. And, unlike Birgitta, Jill had no in-laws or family that she could lean on.
Back at the Whitman house, Terry walked back over to where Mike was still talking to Kevin and Willie. He waited for a lull in the conversation before he pulled Mike to one side. “Hey, forgive me if I’m out of place here, but I get the feeling that your wife’s pretty close to a meltdown,” Terry told his friend.
“Look, I’d much rather be anywhere else but here too, but I don’t know what you expect me to do,” Mike replied through gritted teeth.
“You’re the one married to her, Mike! You need to talk to her!” Terry hissed. “She’s scared. I don’t see how you’re married to her and can’t see it. Willie and I see it and we’re not around her all the time. Now, my suggestion is that you get your ass home and try to talk to her.”
“Well, since I’m with you guys and you’re my ride, I can’t exactly just jump on my white horse and gallop out of here, now can I?” Mike tersely bit out.
“Don’t use us as an excuse, man!” Terry warned him.
“Then, let’s go,” Mike told him.
Jill was sitting on the sofa, alternating between tears and anger when Mike walked in the door an hour later. He put his keys on the counter and got a beer out of the refrigerator before sitting down in a chair opposite her.
“Terry seems to think you’re heading toward a meltdown, to use a direct quote,” Mike began hesitantly as he took a long drink of his beer.
“I’ve been sitting here thinking since I came home. There are only two things that I’m very sure of right now. One of them is the fact that I don’t think I know you any more and the other is I don’t think I can do this,” she choked out.
“What’re you talking about?” Mike demanded in a loud voice.
“Mike, I know Jared was your friend but I’m your wife! I don’t know,” she sighed as she got to her feet and started walking around the room. “Part of me says that maybe I’m being needy, but you’ve barely said a full sentence to me in days! Then, last night you call me to give me instructions like I’m a five-year-old! I know you had to go to the precinct and get ready for the funeral, but I could’ve taken you. At least that way I’d at least feel like I was supporting you in some way and at least we’d be together. I didn’t notice Kevin showing up with someone else. I mean, you were the one that was so hell-bent on us being together again and now I feel like you treat me like I’m just another object in this apartment!”
“Jill, things can’t be the way they were when we were living in Alabama! This is a whole new ballgame!” Mike shouted at her.
“I don’t expect things to be like they were when we were in Alabama! But the Mike that I lived with in Alabama also wasn’t selfish! I know that you need to wind down after you come off duty. I don’t even mind Willie and Terry being over here all the time. They’re great guys, but once in a while I just wish you’d know when to tell them to go home. You can talk to me about things that are going on at work. I might not understand all of it, but I do know how to listen,” she told him.
“Is there anything else?” He asked in a tight voice.
“At the Whitman’s house a while ago, you couldn’t even be bothered to come over and see if I was all right. The first thing you did was go over and get in a huddle with your male friends. Like I said, maybe I’m being needy, but I still feel like I’ve been thrown to the wolves. I’m trying so hard to get used to all of this while the other part of me just wants to run as far away and as fast as I can. I can’t continue living like this,” she whispered in a shattered voice.
“What do you want me to do, Jill? Do you want me to quit and take some easy desk job because you’re so terrified that I’m going to do something stupid and get myself killed! I know that you’re scared, but you’ve been through so much worse than this! And, for the record, I would’ve loved nothing better than to go into the Whitman’s house, wrap my arms around you and cling to you for dear life, but under the circumstances I didn’t think it would’ve been appropriate,” he assured her.
“Sometimes, you have to screw appropriate, Danko,” she informed him, shooting him an icy glare. “I just kept thinking that at least Birgitta has Jared’s family by her side. If something were to happen to you, I wouldn’t have a lot of choices. I could go back to Alabama or I could marry Trap, which would please him to no end, but you’d probably be haunting me until the day that I died.”
Mike stepped closer to her, hoping she wouldn’t back away. “I’m sorry if I’ve seemed selfish. I guess I just got so used to living alone that I’ve forgotten how to readjust to having you around. And I’ll tell you something else. If I can possibly avoid it, I’m not going to die and leave you alone to marry Trap. I love you so much, Jill, but there’s something more important than that,” he explained as he wrapped his arms around her.
“What?” She choked out.
“I can’t do this without you. I know running’s always on your mind, but I wish you’d give me a chance to show you that we can work through this. It’s not going to be easy, but then, nothing worth working for ever is. Please don’t walk away from me,” he whispered, drawing her close and kissing her forehead as she dissolved into tears.
He held her tighter as she wrapped her arms around his neck and began crying even harder. Finally she pulled away and kissed him. “Will you do something?” She choked out as he slowly nodded.
“What?” He whispered in a wary voice.
“Show me how much you love me,” she begged him as he brushed the tears off of her face.
“Are you sure? I mean, it’s getting late and I know you have to be at work soon,” he began.
“I’ll tell Meggy I’m going to be late if I have to. I need you right now, Mike,” she explained as she kissed him passionately.
Some time later Jill lay in Mike’s arms later listening to the beat of his heart and the even breathing of his sleeping. She knew that sex wasn’t a cure-all, but there were also times when she felt that the sex was the only thing that was a constant in their lives. She glanced over at the alarm clock and knew she was going to have to get up soon if she was going to shower and get to work on time. She leaned down and kissed Mike lightly on the chest before she disentangled herself from his embrace.
He groaned and reached for her as she got out of bed. “It’s already that time, huh?” He mumbled.
“Yeah, afraid so,” she answered in a rueful voice as she shrugged into her bathrobe. “Are you working with the guys tonight?”
“Terry, not Willie. Why?” He asked.
“You said Terry knows something about cars, right?”
“The basics, why?” He wanted to know.
“Ask him if he can look the Beetle over in the morning. It was making a funny noise this morning, that’s why I drove your car to the academy,” she informed him.
“It would be easier if you could define ‘funny noise,’ he smiled at her definition of car trouble.
“I don’t know, just a funny noise. You can drive it around for yourself if you want a clearer definition. I have to get in the shower. Go back to sleep,” she ordered him, leaning down and kissing him once again.
<><><><><>
The next morning Jill was home and sound asleep when she felt gentle kisses being planted along her upper back and shoulders. She rolled over and was instantly wrapped up in Mike’s arms. She smiled as he kissed her. “You’re in a good mood this morning,” she mumbled between kisses.
“I came to a revelation of sorts while I was driving around with Terry last night,” he told her as his fingers wandered under her gown.
“What kind of a revelation?” She questioned, putting her hand over his to stop his fingers from wandering any higher.
“I happen to love you very much,” he attested as she smiled into his eyes.
“That’s not much of a revelation, Danko. I could’ve told you that a long time ago. I always knew that you loved me very much; you just sometimes get too wrapped up in your friends and career to realize it. I happen to love you very much, too,” she whispered as he bent down to kiss her once again.
“Do you love me enough to get up and cook me breakfast?”
“You’re already awake,” she countered as she pulled away from him. Suddenly she grinned. “I think you should go cook me breakfast.”
“Later,” he whispered, standing up and removing his clothes.
When Jill wandered downstairs later, she saw Terry’s head under the hood of her car. “What’s the verdict?” She asked as he jumped, banging his head.
“Ouch! You should warn people when you’re going to sneak up on them, especially when they have their head under the hood of your car,” Terry warned her, rubbing his head for emphasis.
“I’m sorry. Do you need a band-aid?” She asked in mock seriousness.
“No, I think I’ll live without medical intervention,” he replied with a roll of his eyes. “Jill, if your car were a horse, I’d probably take my service revolver out and shoot it right now.”
“That bad, huh?” She guessed with a grimace.
“I can patch it, but eventually you’re going to have to break down and get a new mode of transportation,” he informed her.
“That’s just great!” She grumbled as she sat on the curb. “At the moment there’s barely enough money to keep Mike’s car running. I can’t just break down and buy a new car.”
“I’m sorry,” he sympathized as he put his hand on her shoulder.
“Did you talk to my husband last night?”
“Did he say I did?” Terry deflected the question.
“No, it’s just he was in a different mood when he came homethis morning. Things got kind of ugly yesterday.”
“I know. Are you okay now?” He asked in a concerned voice.
“Yeah, I think so. It’s just that things have been very weird since Mike reappeared in my life and I’m still trying to adjust. I think he understands that now. At least, I hope he does,” she concluded in a quiet voice.
“He does love you, Jill. I think he’s had trouble adjusting, too. He told me last night that things were a lot different when you guys were first together. He said it’s hard to try to juggle things around and make room for you and the Force and everything else that’s going on,” Terry told her.
“Well, we talked and stuff,” she said, blushing as Terry nodded. “I think we’re finally on the same page. Maybe not the same paragraph, but at least we’re heading in the same direction. Anyway, thanks for at least trying to fix my car.”
“You’re welcome. That’s what friends are for, right?” He asked as she nodded and stood up to go back upstairs. “One more thing, Jill. I know you’re trying to get used to this craziness that your husband has thrust you into. If Willie and I are over and you need to be alone with Mike, just say so.”
“Okay, Terry. Thanks,” she smiled as she went back upstairs.
Closing the door behind her as she went inside, she thought to herself that maybe everything was going to be all right after all. She still had Mike and now she also had the added bonus of two great friends. It was never going to be perfect, but then nothing ever is.
THE END