TITLE: The Light At The End Of A Dark Dawn:  Chapter One
AUTHOR: Cindy Wylie (RkieFan1960@AOL.com) 
RATING: R for subject matter

ARCHIVE: See Prologue for archive information

SUMMARY: See Prologue for summary.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: 'Everything I Own' was written by David Gates and sung by the group Bread. I have it on the CD 'Anthology Of Bread.' 'I Know You're Out There Somewhere' was written by Justin Hayward and sung by the group The Moody Blues. I have it on the CD 'The Moody Blues: Legend Of A Band.'
 

CHAPTER ONE: The Murders And The Start Of A Horrible Nightmare (October of 1990)

It was a warm October morning. Mike Danko walked into the detective bureau of the 17th Precinct toward his always-cluttered desk. There was always a stack of case files on his desk with more being added every day. He grabbed his ever-present cup of coffee as he sat down
at his desk to await the arrival of his partner, who was always running late. He smiled as Terry Webster ran in, slightly out of breath, as usual.

"How long have you been here?" Terry panted, sitting down at his own desk and grabbing a case file.

"Oh, hours," Mike teased as Terry rolled his eyes.

The two men had been detectives for almost two years. Terry's former partner, Willie Gillis, was now a sergeant, occupying Sgt. Older's former office downstairs. Being a detective was a dream come true for Mike, who enjoyed the more hands-on approach of being a detective as compared to being a patrolman. Investigating a crime was like putting together the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Every piece had to fit perfectly.

"I ran into Willie when I came in. He wanted to know if we were up for a pick-up basketball game at his house this evening," Terry mentioned to his partner.

"Sure, if we can get out of here at a decent hour," Mike agreed as the phone rang on his desk. "Danko! What've ya got? Hold on. Okay, we're rolling on it," he concluded as he finished jotting down the information and grabbed his suit jacket.

"What've we got?" Terry asked, following Mike's lead.

"Dead girl in an alley behind Breyer's Market on Columbus," Mike told him as he left his desk with Terry right behind him.

By the time they arrived at the crime scene a crowd had already gathered and were trying to get past the officers and the yellow crime scene tape that had already been placed at the scene. Mike and Terry flashed their detective shields at a patrolman, who lifted the tape to let them by.

The girl didn't look any older than 15 or 16. Her body had just been dumped in the alley behind a dumpster like so much garbage. Terry went to question bystanders while Mike bagged her hands and checked the area for any other evidence. He then waited for the Medical Examiner to show up to pronounce her and take her to the morgue. For some reason the sight of this young girl bothered Mike more than other murders he'd worked on in the past.

"Nobody heard or saw anything," Terry reported, walking up as the coroner's wagon pulled up.

"Of course. Nobody ever does," Mike grumbled disgustedly.

"What's up with you?" Terry asked, puzzled by his friend's behavior.

"I don't know. There's something about this girl that bothers me. Anyway, let's go casing the neighborhood and see if any of the shop owners know who she is," Mike decided as they watched the people from the medical examiner's officer put the girl's body on a gurney and
wheel it to the wagon.
 

After talking to several of the shopkeepers they drove to the morgue to await the results of the post mortem. The M.E. had the girl lying on a stainless steel table. As he conducted the autopsy he spoke into a tape recorder. He switched it off when Mike and Terry walked in.

"The dead always tell tales. That's what they told me in medical school," the M.E. explained as they all looked at the girl on the table.

"What can you tell us about her?" Terry inquired, pulling out his notebook.

"Female, Caucasian, approximately 14-17 years of age, height, five foot two, weight, one hundred thirteen pounds, brown hair, brown eyes. Cause of death...asphyxiation. Bruising on the insides of the thighs indicates that she was sexually assaulted prior to her death. The rape kit, however, was negative for semen," the M.E. concluded.
 

"Meaning he either pulled out or used a condom," Mike observed.

"Or it wasn't a man at all," Terry added.

"Do you have any idea when she died?" Mike probed.

"She'd been in that alley for about 12 hours, so I'd say sometime around nine o'clock last night. Also, she wasn't killed in that alley," he added.

"I figured as much. The crime scene was too clean," Mike stated. "I'll see if anybody's reported anybody matching her description missing. Thanks, Bob."

"Any time, guys. That's what I'm here for," Bob muttered. "I just wish someone would put us out of business."

"Same here. Call us if you find out anything else," Mike called out as they left the room.

<><><><><>

That afternoon, Mike, Terry, Willie and Willie's 16-year-old son, Thomas, were playing a game of two-on-two basketball in Willie's driveway. Thomas passed the ball over to Mike, who stopped halfway to the basket, out of breath.

"Time out," Mike gasped.

"What's going on, Mike? Getting too old to play with the kids?" Thomas teased.

"Hey, we were playing basketball before your parents even thought of having you," Mike wheezed, still trying to catch his breath. "I have to get home and start dinner, anyway. Jill and the girls are going to be home soon. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Mike slowly walked into the house and staggered upstairs, stripping his sweat soaked t-shirt off as he headed toward the bathroom. He leaned against the bathroom doorway, still heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 'God, maybe Thomas is right. Maybe I am getting old.'

He got in the shower and let the water cascade down on him, hoping it would ease his sudden fatigue. After the shower he felt even more drained than he had before the shower. He glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He was 54 years old and until the last few weeks had never felt his age. Now, suddenly, he was feeling all of those 54 years and more. He jumped as he heard the front door open and close and the sound the three pairs of footsteps running
upstairs. He pulled his clean t-shirt over his head before leaving his and Jill's bedroom.

"Hi, daddy!" 13-year-old Mary Kate greeted eagerly, running up to him and kissing him.

"Hi, sweetie," he smiled brightly, returning her greeting. "How was gymnastics?"

"Okay. What's for dinner?" She asked, as her adopted sisters, Michelle and Savannah, joined her.
 

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I just got home. Where's your mother?" He asked, pushing past them as he started downstairs.

"Downstairs," Mary Kate told him as the three girls looked at each other.

Jill was reading the mail when she saw Mike walking downstairs. She smiled as he walked over and kissed her.
 

"Hi, sweetheart. Some nights I feel more like we're running a three-ring circus than a family. Every day there's another activity or another school function. It makes me exhausted just thinking about it. Speaking of exhausted, you look like you haven't slept in days,"
she observed, gently stroking his cheek.
 

"I was playing basketball with the guys and Thomas when suddenly I felt like I was about a hundred years old. I think I'm going to call Dr. Hamilton tomorrow and go in for a check-up. Maybe I just need some Geritol or something," he answered lightly, hoping to make Jill
smile.

"Lie down and relax. I'll get the girls to fix dinner," she offered, putting the mail down and walking toward the upstairs, followed a few minutes later by the sounds of the three pairs of footsteps descending the stairs.

From his vantage point on the sofa, Mike smiled wearily as he watched them. In the three years since they'd adopted Michelle and Savannah, there'd been many rough patches. More than he cared to remember at times, but there was never a time when either he or Jill regretted
the decision to make them a permanent part of their lives. Now, at ages 14 and 11, they were lovely, well-adjusted young ladies. He placed his arm over his eyes as he heard them go into the kitchen, but a few minutes later, he sensed that he was being watched. He removed his arm to find a pair of brown eyes watching him intently.

"What's wrong, Savannah?" He asked, noting the look of concern on the young girl's face.

"Mom said she wanted us to fix dinner because you were sick," she stated carefully so that Mike could understand her.

"I'm not sick, just tired. Terry and I had a rough day," he told her as she mulled this information over in her head.

"Are you sure?" She asked, obviously ready to drop everything she was doing to nurse him back to health.

"Savannah, I'm fine. Go help your sisters with dinner. Please?" He begged as she finally relaxed and went into the kitchen.
 

Shortly after their adoptions in the spring of 1987, Mike and Jill had been told about a doctor in San Francisco who might be able to help Savannah learn to speak. It had taken several short airline trips and a lot of meetings with various ear, nose and throat doctors before everybody finally agreed that they had nothing to lose by at least trying to help the young girl. A series of experimental laser surgeries were successful in removing about 80 per cent of the scar
tissue from the little girl's throat and esophagus. Intensive speech therapy was doing the rest. He and Jill were still amazed by how much progress she'd made in just the past three years. At first she continued to use sign language almost exclusively. Now it was just more of a back up for words that were still difficult to say or when she tried to speak too quickly, which most often happened when she was trying to talk at the same time as the two motor mouths...Michelle and Mary Kate. The most sensitive of the three girls, she had a tendency to want to nurse everybody when they were sick.

He didn't realize he'd dozed off until he felt Jill lifting his head to sit down at the end of the sofa. Laying his head in her lap, she absently began stroking his forehead.

"Florence Nightingale was in here a few minutes ago, ready to bring in the chicken soup and nurse me back to health," he murmured drowsily.

"Savannah," she affirmed as she forced a smile." She talks about med school day and night. She'd live in the hospital if we’d let her."

"Just think...we're lucky to have three girls with such high career ambitions that are ready to take care of us in our old age," he grinned.

"Yeah, let me see," Jill rolled her eyes and swatted him. "A doctor, a singer and a concert pianist. One of them will take care of us, while the other two will probably be on the road 300 days a year. We'll probably be lucky to get a post card from the road once in a while"

"Hey, at least Mary Kate isn't talking about being a cop, anymore," he whispered as he closed his eyes again.

"No, having to worry about one cop in the family is enough, thank you very much," she agreed as she leaned down and tenderly kissed him on the forehead.

Mary Kate ventured into the room. "Is soup okay?" She asked worriedly, glancing at her parents.

"Soup's fine, sweetie," Jill answered, glancing up and giving her a reassuring smile.

<><><><><><>

Mike dragged his weary body into the precinct the next morning only to be stopped by Willie, who pointed to two people sitting on a near-by bench.

"That's Mr. And Mrs. Lacey. They're here filing a missing persons report on their daughter. She didn't come home two nights ago. She matches the description of your girl from yesterday," Willie finished.

"Let me have the report," Mike grimaced, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. There was nothing he disliked more than having to take someone to the morgue to possibly identify a missing loved one. "Corey Lacey, aged 14. Brown hair, brown eyes, etc., etc. Is Terry in yet?"

"Not yet. As usual, the world appears to be running on Terry Standard Time," Willie grinned.

"Yeah, well, when he decides to show up, tell him to get his ass upstairs," Mike grumbled, walking over to where the Lacey's were sitting. "Mr. And Mrs. Lacey, I'm Detective Danko. Can you follow me upstairs, please? I'll get some more information on your daughter."

The couple wearily got up and followed Mike upstairs to the Detective Squad. He walked over to his desk and motioned for Mrs. Lacey to sit in the one chair by his desk while he walked around to Terry's desk to pull a second chair over for Mr. Lacey.

"When was the last time you saw your daughter?" Mike asked the couple, sitting down at his desk. He opened his memo book and started jotting down some quick notes with his pen.

"Monday morning before she left for school. She had cheerleading practice after school and when she didn't come home after, I called her friends. No one had seen her," Mrs. Lacey said in a slightly accented voice.

"What time was cheerleading practice?" Mike asked, continuing to take copious notes.

"From four until six o'clock. She should've been home by seven, at the latest. Her friends told me she'd been at practice," her mother replied, tears brimming her dark eyes.

"Would your daughter have any reason to run away from home?" Mike continued.

"Detective, Corey didn't run away. I told the cop on the phone that yesterday when he informed me that we had to wait twenty-four hours before filing a report!" Mr. Lacey spat out angrily. "Do you know how long 24 hours is when you're talking about your child?!"

"Yes, sir. I have three daughters of my own and I'm sure I'd feel the same way if any of them turned up missing. What was Corey wearing the last time you saw her?" He asked, abruptly feeling drained.

"Let me think," Mrs. Lacey answered, closing her eyes and thinking back. "Blue jeans and an LA Lakers t-shirt. She had her uniform in a plastic bag."

"So when she left practice she would have probably still been wearing her uniform," Mike guessed as Mrs. Lacey nodded just as Terry entered the room. "Glad you could make it, Det. Webster. Mr. And Mrs. Lacey, this is my partner, Det. Webster. The Lacey's were filling
out a missing persons report on their daughter. I thought maybe we could follow up on it."
 

Terry picked up the file folder that Mike slid across the desk to him and grimly looked at the information inside. 'Fourteen years old,' he thought to himself. 'What a waste.' "Did your daughter have any boyfriends or any other friends that you or your husband didn't know
about?" Terry asked after a few minutes.

"We knew all of our daughters' friends, detective," Mr. Lacey informed Terry icily. "I don't know what you're trying to imply..."

"I'm not trying to imply anything, sir," Terry explained patiently. "I'm just trying to help you find your daughter. Sometimes young people keep secrets from their parents... friends
that they don't want you to know about, stuff like that."

"Look, we came here to file a report like we were told to do yesterday," Mr. Lacy snapped bitterly. He shoved away from the desk and got to his feet. "I know you guys have other, more important things to do than finding what you obviously perceive to be a runaway! I'll go out on the street and search for her myself since I'm wasting your time! Come on, Birgitta!"

"Mr. Lacey, please wait," Mike cringed at what he was about to have to tell this couple. "There was a girl found yesterday morning in an alley on Columbus. She didn't have any identification."

"What happened to her?" Mrs. Lacey asked frightened.

"She was sexually assaulted and asphyxiated. It might not be your daughter, but if you want, we can take you to the morgue so you can see the body," Mike replied, not knowing why he suddenly felt choked up. After all, it wasn't like he hadn't done this a hundred times before.

"What if it isn't her?" Mr. Lacey asked, clearly shocked. He collapsed back onto his chair.

"Either way, at least we'll know where we're going and we can move on. Come on, my car's downstairs," Mike said, grabbing his suit coat and slipping it on as he led the distraught couple out of the building.

Several minutes later, they walked into the morgue where Mike had a brief talk with the Medical Examiner.

"Mr. And Mrs. Lacey, I'm Dr. Russell. What's going to happen is, I'm going to take you over to a curtained-off window. When you're ready, just tap on the glass and I'll pull the curtain back. You can then let the detectives know if the dead girl is your daughter or not," he instructed in a sympathetic tone of voice.

"Do both of us have to -- identify the body?" Mr. Lacey gulped.

"No, of course not," the M.E. assured him. "If you'd rather that your wife wait here with one of the detectives, I can take you and the other detective back there."

"I think that would be best. Birgitta, why don't you wait here?" He told his wife, carefully placing his hands on her shoulders as she reluctantly sat on a bench beside Terry.

"I'll go back there with Mr. Lacey," Mike told his partner. A few minutes later Mike stood beside Mr. Lacey as the man prepared for what was probably the hardest thing he'd ever have to do in his life. Mike often wondered what he or Jill would do if it were ever one of them in this position and he prayed that he'd never have to find out. Mr. Lacey lightly tapped on the large pane of glass. The curtain slid back to reveal the body of the young girl lying on a metal table. Mike watched the man standing beside him as he absorbed every detail. After about five minutes, Mike noticed Mr. Lacy's knees starting to buckle as he slid to the floor in hysterical sobs.

"Oh my God! Corey!!!" The man screamed in anguish.

Mike hurriedly motioned for the M.E. to close the curtain.

"Who could've done this to her! She was just a baby!" Mr. Lacy screamed as Mike now heard the added screams of pain from Mrs. Lacey in the other room.

"I don't know, sir, but believe me; we're going to find out. I'm so sorry for your loss," Mike said, knowing that the words didn't mean anything at this point.

Terry stayed with the Lacey's while they filled out the paperwork required to release their daughter's body to a funeral home. Mike walked the few blocks back to the precinct, deep in thought. By the time he arrived back at the precinct he was soaking wet with sweat and totally exhausted. He was sitting at his desk, guzzling water by the paper cupful when Willie walked in.

"Was she their daughter?" He asked, taking in Mike's appearance. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired... sick and tired. There are some things about this damned job that I don't think I'll ever get used to, William. Listening to a father's screams of anguish when he has to identify the body of his 14-year-old daughter is something I'll never get used to," he stated with an exasperated tinge to his voice. "I don't think I could ever do what I watched Mr. Lacey do today."

"That makes two of us. So, are you sure you're okay? You look kind of pale," Willie observed.

"I'm fine, just age catching up with me," Mike answered, waving off his friend's concerns. "After all, I'm the old man, remember?" He grinned as Willie rolled his eyes. "So, let the old man get some work done before his partner comes back. It looks like it's going to be a long day."

As soon as Willie left the area, Mike opened up his Rolodex to his doctor's office number and quickly dialed it.

"Thank you for calling Dr. Hamilton's office, this is Denise. How may I help you?" The cheerful voice came over the line.

"This is Mike Danko. I'd like to schedule an appointment with either Dr. Hamilton or Dr. Steiner for a complete physical as soon as possible," Mike stated, keeping a wary eye on the door.

"Let me see, Mr. Danko. Dr. Hamilton has an opening this Friday morning at 10:30. Is that okay?" Denise asked.

"Friday at 10:30 is fine. Thank you, Denise," Mike told the woman.

"Oh, and Mr. Danko? Be sure not to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before, since I'm sure Dr. Hamilton's going to want blood work," the woman reminded him.

"Okay, Denise. Thanks," Mike sighed. He'd just hung up and was writing the information on his calendar as Terry walked in.

"Man, that was rough," Terry commented, sitting at his desk. "What's our next move?"

"Going to the high school and talking to teachers and students...anybody who might've seen anything. By the way, I'm going to be out all day Friday, so you might want to borrow Willie to help you with your leg work," Mike informed his partner.

"Think we might need P.I. help on this one?" Terry asked anxiously.

"Man, you just love any excuse to use the investigative expertise of the team of Ryker and Applegate," Mike chuckled. "Let's just see how far we can go using good old-fashioned police work, okay?"

"So, where are you going Friday?" Terry inquired curiously.

"Out," Mike stated in a firm voice that let Terry know the matter wasn't open for discussion.

<><><><><><>

Jill was cooking dinner while the three girls sat at the kitchen table doing their homework with the evening news droning in the background.

"...In other news, police have positively identified the body of a young girl found yesterday in an alley on Columbus Avenue as 14-year-old Corey Lacey, an eighth grader at Stevens Middle School. Her mother last saw the girl Monday morning as she left for school. The murder is still under investigation. In other news..." Jill walked over and turned the TV off.

"Is daddy working on that case?" Mary Kate asked curiously, wondering why her mother had turned the set off.

"I'm not sure. You girls need to get the table set. Daddy's going to be home soon," Jill stated matter-of-factly as the three girls looked at each other.

When Jill had gotten promoted to administration several years before, one of her stipulations about taking the job was she had to be home at a decent hour. Surprisingly, her superiors agreed to this. This was an especially good thing now, since Mike's promotion. It was a rare day when he actually got home in time to have dinner with the family. There were often days now when Jill barely got more than a few minutes with her husband before police work interrupted. She'd
been trying to get him to retire and go to work for Eddie Ryker, who now operated his own Private Investigation firm along with Jill's friend, T.R. Applegate. She knew Eddie would be more than happy to have Mike join him. After all, he wasn't getting any younger and some days, she realized that Mike wasn't, either. She smiled as she heard the front door open and watched the girls run into the front room to greet their father. The smile disappeared, however, when the
girls came into the room, dragging him in by his hands. If anything, he looked even more exhausted than he had the night before.

"Hi, sweetheart. Dinner's almost ready. Rough day, huh?" She guessed.

"Extremely," Mike sighed, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Look, you guys go ahead and eat. I'm not really hungry. I'm just going to take a shower and collapse," he said, turning and heading up the stairs.

The girls looked at Jill, puzzled, as she turned off the stove. "Finish setting the table and go ahead and start eating. I'll be down in a few minutes," she instructed them as she also started up
the stairs.

She walked into their bathroom as Mike was undressing and just stopped, shocked by his appearance. Because of conflicting schedules, they hadn't made love in weeks. Jill walked up to him slowly as he continued to undress.

"I'd love to have you join me, but I'm really beat," he tried to joke as Jill stared at him.

"How long have you been losing weight?" She asked in a sharp voice.

"I don't know. Look, I'm going to the doctor Friday morning. He's going to tell me that I'm working too hard and I should take my wife on a vacation to Tahiti. So, call Eddie and tell him we're dropping off three junior detectives for a couple of weeks," he continued to joke.

"Mike, this isn't funny. You've been tired, you've been waking up soaking wet and now you're losing weight. Let me go to the doctor with you," she begged him fearfully.

"Baby, it'll be fine. Look, I'll take you out to dinner Friday night. A nice romantic dinner for two, no screaming teenagers, no shoptalk. Okay?"

"Mike, promise me you'll tell me right away if this is something we should be worried about," she relented in a soft voice as she buried her face in his chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now, you'd better get out of here before I change my mind about pulling you into the shower with me," he grinned.

<><><><><><>

The next morning Mike and Terry drove over to the middle school that Corey Lacey had attended. After interviewing the principal and one of the guidance counselors they began talking to the girl's friends and classmates. They finally hit pay dirt with one of the other members of the cheerleading squad.

"Did you see Corey go off with anybody?" Mike asked.

"I didn't see her leave with anybody, but there was a creepy looking guy sitting in the bleachers watching us practice," Becky Silvers answered nervously.

"Creepy looking? How so?" Terry asked curiously.

"I don't know. He just looked like he didn't belong. He wasn't any of the fathers and he was too old to be anybody's boyfriend. He kept watching us. I didn't see him at the end of practice, so I thought he'd just gotten bored and left, you know?" She commented as Terry nodded.

"Can you describe him?" Mike questioned.

"Let me think. He was old, not as old as you guys, but still pretty old," she stated thoughtfully as Mike bit back a grin. "He was wearing a dark blue jacket with patches on it, but I couldn't see
what they said. He was wearing a baseball cap so I couldn't see his hair."

"Could you say about how tall he was?" Terry asked.

"It was hard to tell, because he was sitting down and he was pretty far away. I know he'd never been in the stands to watch us before. I would've remembered that," Becky told the two officers.

"Well, thanks, Becky. Can we come talk to you if we have any more questions?" Mike asked the young girl.

"Sure, that'll be cool. Can you tell me something?" She asked in a small voice.

"If we can," Mike assured her.

"Do you think it hurt when she died?" She gulped, staring at Mike with wide eyes.

"I don't think so. It looked like it was pretty quick," Mike promised her.

"Okay, thanks. Back to algebra class," she said, making a face as she got up to leave the room.

Going back to the precinct after talking to Corey's classmates, Mike looked over his notes while Terry drove.

"Pretty vague description that girl gave us," Terry commented.

"Well, that's your typical teenage response, but we've solved cases with less," Mike reminded him as he nodded. "When's the funeral?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. Willie and I are going to check out the services and see if anybody shows up who looks like they don't belong. Are you sure you won't be back in the office?" Terry queried.

"Positive. I'll be back Saturday morning, bright and early. By the way, Mary Kate told me to remind you and Serena that she has a recital next Tuesday night, seven o'clock, black tie, be on time," he smiled at his partner.

"So, what's the piece she's playing this time?" Terry asked.

"Moonlight Sonata," Mike said, smiling.

"I hear Julliard knocking on the door now," Terry foretold.

"Well, if that's the case, she'd better plan on acing her SAT's and everything else so she can get a full scholarship," Mike lamented as Terry nodded in agreement.

<><><><><>

The next morning Mike was lying on the examining table in his doctor's office in the short paper gown, feeling cold and foolish.

"So, I see you're here for your ten thousand mile check-up," the doctor smiled, looking at his chart. "I take it I'm changing all the plugs and wires and checking the fluid levels."

"You've got it. I don't want my wife to have to trade me in for a younger model. I mean, I've seen some of the 1990 models and I'd prefer that she stick with the '71," Mike joked back as the doctor began his exam.

The exam lasted several hours. After he had poked and prodded every inch of Mike's body, drew blood and took a urine sample, the doctor finally let Mike get dressed. He returned a few minutes later with a frown creasing his features.

"So, am I good for another ten thousand miles or should I tell Jill to start checking into the '90 models?" Mike asked, buttoning his shirt.

"I'm concerned about a couple of things, Mike. Are you aware of the fact that you've lost almost twenty pounds since I last saw you six months ago?" The doctor asked.

"I'm an active guy. I haven't been eating as much or as often as I used to. You know how it is. Between working cases and keeping up with a wife and three very active daughters I'm always on the go," Mike justified as he sat down and put on his sneakers.

"If it were just the weight loss, I might buy that explanation. But your lymph nodes are also enlarged. I'd like to take some x-rays and get some more blood," the doctor continued.

"You took blood. If you take any more I'm going to start calling you Count Dracula. A name like that isn't going to get you more patients," Mike jibed as the doctor's expression remained the
same. "Can't this wait until Monday? I promised Jill I'd take her out to dinner tonight."

"Mike, I'd really like to do this today. It's still early enough for me to read the films and see what we might be dealing with," the doctor stated worriedly. "I'm really sorry."

Mike reluctantly agreed to have the x-rays taken. An hour later he was sitting in Dr. Hamilton's office waiting for the doctor to appear. He glanced at his watch when the doctor walked in carrying the envelope containing the x-rays. Mike watched as he put them on the viewer and turned it on before saying the words that chilled Mike to the bone.

"Mike, I really think you should call Jill," the doctor told him.

"It's after four o'clock. She's already left work and could be in one of a thousand places right now," Mike told the doctor nervously. "What is it?"

"As you can see there's an area of growth right here, between your heart and your lungs. My guess is Hodgkin's disease. I won't known until I receive your blood work what stage it's in," the doctor said, glancing at Mike.

"So, what now?" Mike gulped, closing his eyes.

"I'd like to refer you to an oncologist as soon as possible," the doctor stated as Mike continued to absorb what was going on.

"Am I going to die?" Mike asked.

"I don't know, but I can tell you that Hodgkin's responds extremely well to treatment, even in advanced stages. The survival rate is eighty per cent or better," the doctor assured him.

"Look, I need time to think. Can I have the weekend? That'll give me a chance to talk to Jill and know what my options are," Mike said, still stunned.

"Absolutely. I'll have them rush your blood work so we can find out where we stand. I'll see you and Jill in my office first thing Monday morning. Okay, Mike?"

"Sure, Monday morning," Mike mumbled in a numb voice.

"This isn't a death sentence," the doctor tried to reassure his friend.
 

<><><><><>

The house was quiet when Mike got home. He knew nobody would be home for at least another hour. He walked up the stairs to his and Jill's bedroom... doctor's words still echoing in his head. He knew there was no way he could face Jill. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her that after almost nineteen years of marriage, he was probably going to be leaving her. He opened the closet door, pulled out his suitcase and began throwing clothes into it. He needed to get away for a few days, just to think and clear his head. He wasn't sure of his destination, just that he couldn't stay in Los Angeles.

It was almost six o'clock as Jill approached the house with the three girls. After collecting them from their various after school activities, she'd given in to pleas to stop by the local video store
so the girls could pick out some movies. At the moment the two older girls were sitting in the back seat discussing their movie selections while Savannah sat in the front passenger seat, quietly staring out of her window.

"Hey, do you girls think you can entertain yourselves for a couple of hours while your dad and I go out to dinner?" Jill asked, glancing in the rear view mirror.

"Can we order a pizza and invite Thomas and Natalie over, too?" Michelle asked.

"You can order a pizza and Thomas and Natalie can come over if it's okay with Willie and Jennifer," Jill agreed as she turned down the street toward the house.

"It doesn't look like daddy's home from work, yet. I hope you didn't have reservations," Savannah pointed out to her mother as Jill turned into the empty driveway.

Jill unlocked the front door and walked into the quiet house with the girls right behind her. She could hear them excitedly run into the kitchen to order their pizza and invite the Gillis children over. She walked upstairs to their bedroom and opened the closet to hang up her sweater. That's when she noticed that several of Mike's hangers were hanging empty. She then looked in the corner and noticed one of the suitcases was gone. Panic stricken, she walked over to the phone
and phoned Terry's house first.

"Hello?" Terry's cheerful voice came over the line.

"Terry, it's me. I was wondering if you'd seen Mike at all today," Jill tried to keep the rising fear and panic in her voice.

"No, he said he'd be out all day. Why? What's wrong?" Terry asked.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you'd seen him. I just got home and he isn't here. We were supposed to go out to dinner," Jill explained in a high-pitched voice.

"Sorry, Jill. I haven't seen him," Terry apologized.

"Thanks, Terry. Good night," Jill said, hanging up the phone. "Mike, where are you? What did the doctor say?" She whispered, walking over to the dresser. Propped against the mirror
was a sheet of notepaper. Jill picked it up with shaking fingers.

'Jill,
I have to get away for a few days. Don't try to find me. I need time to think. I'll be back in a few days. I love you.
Mike'

Jill clutched the note to her chest for a few minutes before walking over and picking up her personal phone book to look up Dr. Hamilton's number. All she was able to get was his answering service. She left a message and hoped he'd get back to her quickly. She went back
downstairs where the children were sitting in the living room, watching their movie.

"We need money for the pizza, mom," Mary Kate reminded her.

"I'll get my purse in a minute," Jill answered automatically. "Listen, your dad had to go out of town for a few days. I'm not sure when he'll be back home, but when he gets back he's not going to be in a great mood, so I want you girls to give him some room. Okay?"

"Does it have something to do with one of his cases?" Michelle probed.

"Yeah. He left me a note. It was all rather sudden. Let me go get my purse," Jill said, going back upstairs.

<><><><><><>

Mike kept driving down the coast with no particular destination in mind. Dr. Hamilton's words kept echoing in his head. He didn't know how he was going to tell Jill or the girls. He felt like his whole world was crashing down on him. Finally after driving for several hours he pulled into the parking lot of a hotel. Checking in, he went upstairs to the room he'd rented for the night and unlocked the door.

He slipped on a thick sweater against the chill in the air before opening the sliding glass door and going out to the patio. Sitting in the doorway, he looked out at the view. The place was
nice...located on the PCH with a spectacular view of the ocean. It was the kind of place he'd love to bring Jill to. Tears began to fall down his face as he thought of the future or the lack of a
future for himself and his family. The thought of leaving any of them was more than he could bear. His mind drifted back over memories of the two of them. They played like a movie in his head. All of the good times, bad times, silly times, songs they'd listened to and danced to and made love to over the years. He smiled as he remembered one of Jill's favorites from the early days of their marriage. Even though it always made her cry, she told him every word seemed to be directed straight at him.

'You sheltered me from harm,
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me,
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

And, I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love
What it's of, what it's of
You never said too much,
But still you showed the way
And I knew from watching you
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let go

And, I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give up everything I own
Just to have you back again

Is there someone you know,
You're loving them so,
But taking them all for granted
You may lose them one day,
Someone takes them away,
And they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again.

Thinking about the words to that song, Mike knew he was going to have to go back home and face his wife and his fears, but he decided to do it the next day when things would hopefully look better in the light of day.

<><><><><><>

Jill was sitting in the kitchen as the kids watched their movies, nervously willing the phone to ring. It was almost 11 o'clock when it finally rang, causing Jill to almost jump out of her skin. "Hello?" She choked out, hoping against hope that it was Mike.

"Jill, it's Dr. Hamilton. I just got your message. Has Mike talked to you?" He asked warily.

"He isn't even here. He left me a note saying he needed to get away for a few days. What's going on? I don't know where he is and I'm scared to death," she confessed in a shaky voice, trying to keep her voice down so the kids didn't overhear.

"Jill, I can't breach patient confidentiality. The only thing I can tell you is that I need to see both of you in my office on Monday morning as early as possible."

"I know. Thank you for returning my call," she said, hanging up.

The next morning, the phone rang at seven o'clock.

"Hello?" Jill practically shouted into the phone, hoping it was Mike.

"Hey, let me talk to my partner," Terry requested in a cheerful voice.

"He isn't here, Terry. He hasn't been home since last night," she admitted to him.

"Do you know where he is? He told me he was going to be in bright and early this morning. I actually got here before he did."
 

"I don't know where he is, Terry, but I'll have him call you as soon as he gets in," Jill promised, wanting to get him off of the phone before she started crying.

"Jill, what's going on?" Terry asked, worried.

"Terry, please. I can't go into anything now. I have to go fix the girls breakfast," she said, hanging up the phone.

Jill didn't see how she got through the day without losing her mind. The girls helped. They all sensed that something was wrong so they went out of their way to try to cheer their mother up. They were sitting together on the sofa watching 'Dirty Dancing' for the millionth time, according to Michelle.

"Don't worry, mom. Daddy'll be home soon. It isn't like he hasn't had to go out of town on a case before," Mary Kate assured her mother, cuddling closer to her as they watched the movie. "Just
think, without daddy here, we can quote our favorite line from the movie. 'Nobody puts Baby in a corner,'" she mimicked in a deep voice as Jill smed.

That night, the girls begged to sleep over at the Gillis' house. Although Jill would rather they stay at home with her, she finally relented. Walking around the empty house, she decided to listen to
some music. She picked Mike's 'Moody Blues' CD off of the shelf and put it in the CD player. One song in particular caught her attention.
 

'I know you're out there somewhere, somewhere, somewhere
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

The mist is lifting slowly
I can see the way ahead
And I've left behind the empty streets that once inspired my life
And the strength of the emotion
Is like thunder in the air
Cause the promise that we made each other haunts me to the end

I know you're out there somewhere, somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere that you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow, somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

The secret of your beauty
And the mystery of your soul
I've been searching for in everybody that I meet
And the times I've been mistaken
It's impossible to say
And the grass is growing underneath our feet

You see, I know you're out there somewhere
Oh yes, I know you're out there somewhere

The words that I remember
From my childhood still are true
That there's none so blind as those who will not see
And, to those who lack the courage
Say it's dangerous to try
Well, they just don't know that love eternal will not be denied'

By the time she heard those words, Jill burst into tears. She was crying so hard that she didn't even hear Mike's key in the lock. He quickly dropped his suitcase by the door and gathered her into his arms.

"Mike, where've you been? I was worried sick!" She cried, clinging to him tightly.

"I needed to think," he told her as he held her as fiercely as she was holding onto him. "Hey, you're going to wake the girls."
 

"They're at Willie and Jen's. Mike, I talked to Dr. Hamilton last night. What's going on? He wants to see both of us Monday morning. What did he find?" She begged him.

"He thinks its Hodgkin's disease. He started talking oncologists and stages and I couldn't think. All I could think of is not growing old with you or walking my daughters' down the aisle. I'm sorry I ran away. I know I should've talked to you, but I didn't know how I was going to tell you," he blurted out, trying to hold back tears of his own.

"It's okay. We'll get through this. Let me be the strong one for once. I'm a lot stronger than I look," she assured him, pulling him close to her.

Getting him upstairs, she helped him undress and got him into bed, lying beside him and wrapping herself tightly around him. After a long time they both finally fell into an exhausted asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Jill woke up and looked over toward her husband. The love she felt for him always threatened to spill over as it was doing right now. She once again pressed closer to him, wrapping her arms around him as he sleepily woke up, rolling over and smiling into her eyes.

"I love you, Mike," she whispered, kissing him hungrily.

<><><><><>

The next morning the girls were eating breakfast at the Gillis' kitchen table when Thomas walked in from picking up the morning paper. Sixteen-years-old, already over six feet tall and the image
of his father, the girls, especially Michelle, never got tired of looking at him.

"I thought you said your dad was going to be gone for several days," he reminded the girls as he sat down.

"That's what mom said. Why? Is he back?" Michelle asked, puzzled, as she glanced at her sisters.

"His car's in the driveway," Thomas told them.

Mike was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when the front door opened and the three girls trooped in. Stopping in the kitchen and taking one look at their father, they knew something was very wrong.

"Daddy? How was your trip?" Mary Kate asked, sitting down across from him.

"It was okay. How was your sleepover?" He asked, smiling at the three girls as Jill walked in.

"Fun. We watched scary movies all night and Thomas kept trying to scare us," Savannah confessed.

"Your mom and I need to talk to you girls about something. Let's go into the living room," he got up and motioned for them to follow him into the other room.

He sat down on the couch with Jill beside him as the three girls sat down on the floor in front of them. He and Jill had talked long into the night about how they were going to tell their daughters and friends what was going on. They decided to tell the girls what was going on but decided to wait until Monday before telling the guys.

"I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. The doctor thinks I might be sick," he started to explain.

"Sick? With what?" Mary Kate asked, terror written all over her face.

"He thinks it might be a form of cancer called Hodgkin's disease. The good news is he says it responds well to treatment," he smiled, trying to find a bright side to all of this.

"What's going to happen now?" Savannah whispered, fighting back tears.

"We don't know, yet. Your mother and I have to go back to talk to the doctor Monday morning. In the meantime, we don't want you discussing this with anybody. We'll talk to everybody after we get more information on Monday. Okay?" He made them promise as they slowly nodded before getting up off of the floor to hug and kiss him. He clung to each of them before they went upstairs.

"You did that very well," Jill said in a soft voice, taking his hand and squeezing it.

"That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and I haven't even gotten to the part where I have to tell them what they're going to do to me," Mike admitted, running a hand over his face
wearily. "Look, I need to call Terry and find out where things are standing with our case. I'll be right back," He promised her, walking to his study and firmly closing the door before dialing Terry’s number.

"Hello?" Terry answered the phone on the first ring.

"Hey, it's me. How are things going with the investigation?" Mike asked anxiously.

"Well, hello to you, too. Jill called me last night looking for you. I'm glad you finally decided to turn up," Terry said sarcastically.

"Look, forget about me right now. The investigation, Terry? What's going on with the investigation?" Mike repeated.

"Well, Willie and I checked out the funeral services. There wasn't anybody at either the funeral or the graveside services that the family didn't know, so it doesn't appear that our killer made an
appearance. But you got a call from Washington State. It appears that they've got a series of murders up that way that fit this M.O. The lead investigator's supposed to contact us tomorrow morning."

"Look, I won't be in until probably Tuesday," Mike sighed in frustration. "I've got some stuff that I've got to take care of."

"Mike, what's going on?" Terry asked in a worried voice.

"I'll fill you guys in on everything in a few days. I have to go," Mike said, quickly hanging up before Terry could ask any more questions. 'Great, the crime spree is spreading beyond our area,' he thought to himself.
 

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