TITLE: The Light At The End Of A Dark Dawn:  Chapter Seven
AUTHOR: Cindy Wylie (RkieFan1960@AOL.com) 
RATING: NC-17 (and no, CTL did NOT write this. He didn’t even have a hand in it [so to speak])

CHAPTER SEVEN: Decisions, Decisions (June of 1991)

SUMMARY: Mike comes to the end of his cancer treatments and tries to make a decision regarding his career.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The song ‘Everything I Do (I Do It For You) was written by Bryan Adams, Robert John "Mutt" Lange and Michael Kamen and is sung by Bryan Adams. The song ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ was written by Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar and is sung by Bette Midler.
 

‘It must’ve been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way
You always walked a step behind
So, I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength
A beautiful face without a name, for so long,
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
And everything that I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle,
You are the wind beneath my wings
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But, I’ve got it all here in my heart
I want you to know that I know the truth
Of course I know
I would be nothing without you

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

Did I ever tell you that you’re my hero?
You’re everything, everything I wish I could be
Oh, I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings’
 
 

Jill woke up early on that June morning and looked over at Mike, still sleeping soundly beside her. The last three months had been so hard on everybody, but especially on him. Not only did he have to fight an enemy that was invading his body but he also had to wage a war on the home front to keep his family from falling apart. That war finally seemed to be over. Michelle had been going to therapy sessions three times a week since her ordeal with Daniel Whitman had ended and her badly damaged psyche finally seemed to be mending but there were still nights when her screams pierced the darkness.

Thomas Gillis had been a big help. He came around constantly. At first Michelle wouldn’t let him in, but as the weeks went by, she finally let him close to her again and things seemed to have returned pretty much to the way they were before everything had gone crazy. Jill couldn’t believe how much Michelle was like her, even though she hadn’t given birth to her. She smiled as she felt her stomach and felt the baby move lightly in response. This was too good not to share with Mike. Moving over, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach.

"I see my son’s awake early this morning," he groaned into his pillow.

"So is his mother," she whispered, moving closer to him as he sleepily opened one eye.

"So, do you think if we keep referring to the baby as ‘him’ and ‘son,’ the sonogram will actually show in our favor?" He asked, pulling her closer to him.

"I hope so. And don’t forget that the doctor’s appointment is at three," she reminded him.

"Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m forgetting about this appointment," he replied as he started kissing her neck. "This is going to be a great week! Today we get to see our son on video and Friday I have the last chemotherapy treatment. After that I have six sessions of radiation and I’ll be free of doctors, chemicals and bad tasting food and maybe even my hair will grow back," he smiled.

"We have about an hour before the girls start waking up," Jill chuckled, glad to see that he was in a good mood. "I think we should make the most of that hour," Jill hinted, taking his hand and placing it on her breast.

"Ah, a hint! I like that," he grinned wickedly, feeling her nipple instantly harden under his palm. Reaching into her gown, he took his time teasing and caressing each breast in turn, while Jill moaned her approval.

He reached down for the bottom of her gown and removed it with her help before tossing it to the floor beside the bed, leaving her clad in only her panties. Pulling her close to him, he began to slowly move down her body, kissing and nipping along the way before reaching his destination and taking an engorged nipple into his mouth, smiling as Jill arched her back and moaned louder. He continued to caress her stomach as he pleasured her breasts with his lips and tongue. Jill’s cries became more urgent as he slipped her panties down her legs and caressed the insides of her thighs before moving his fingers up and touching her with such feather light strokes that Jill was sure she was going to die from the sheer pleasure of his touch.

"Mike, I know this was my idea, but why are you torturing me?" She moaned as he moved back up and pulled her back into his arms.

"I want to make sure you’re never going to forget this morning," he whispered.

Jill could feel him, hard and throbbing, between their bodies. She reached down and snaked her hand into the fly of his boxers, gently caressing him as he kissed her. He finally reached down and removed her hand.

"Now who’s torturing who?" He asked, his breath coming in shallow gasps as she smiled and pulled him back down to her.

"That was my whole idea," she smiled, reaching down to caress him again before sliding his boxers down his hips with his help.

"It might be a while before the girls wake up, but why do I get the feeling that they’re going to get woke up anyway by all the noise that might soon be coming from this bedroom," he whispered hoarsely, moving back down Jill’s body.

Jill grabbed the sheet to keep from screaming as Mike replaced his gently exploring fingers with his lips and tongue. "Mike! I’m almost…I want you with me!" She cried, desperately pulling at his shoulders.

"I never was one to deny a lady," he groaned, slowly entering her and looking down into her eyes.

She wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him as they began to move together. Mike’s hands and lips seemed to be everywhere at once as Jill felt her world begin to spin crazily out of control. She held him to her, crying out his name as her pleasure reached the plateau.

"I love you so much, Jill," he breathed, collapsing onto her shoulder as he came. They lay like that for several minutes before he slowly rose up to look down into her eyes. He kissed her gently before disengaging from her and rolling over to his left side.

"I love you, too," she whispered back, planting gentle kisses on his chest as he tried to catch his breath.

"Are we going to be staying here even after the girls get up for breakfast?" He grinned.

"Maybe. We haven’t done that in a while," she smiled as she continued to caress him.

"Not since the girls figured out what we do up here while they’re downstairs eating Cheerios," he grinned back.

"We can always blame it on cable TV," she told him.

"More like teenage curiosity. I have to get up, anyway. I have a ton of stuff to do at the office this morning," he admitted regretfully, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"I do, too, but I’m too lazy to get up yet," she admitted, stretching lazily to prove her point as Mike smiled and leaned back down to kiss her again while caressing her rounded stomach lovingly.

"If I don’t get in the shower and get out of here, I’m going to end up back in bed with you. I’ll see you in a little while," he kissed her once more before heading for the bathroom.
 
 

Mike was at his desk about two hours later looking over some of his dead case files when Terry walked in. Chris had gone back to Seattle after the resolution of the murder case. For the most part, Terry had been working with Willie while Mike continued to chase leads by phone and do interviews. It suited him fine since most of the time he had little energy to do anything else, which was one reason he’d seriously been thinking over Eddie’s offer to go in with him and Trap.

"What’re you doing?" Terry asked, sitting down at his desk.

"I want to see if I can clean up some of these cases we’ve been working on," Mike replied absently.

"What’s the rush? It’s not like you’re going to retire or die anytime soon," Terry told his partner. "Or are you?"

"No to the second part of your question. A possible to the first part," Mike answered in an absent voice.

"You can’t be serious!" Terry exclaimed, staring at Mike in amazement. "What are you going to do? Paint? Write a book? Please don’t tell me that you’re actually going to take the lieutenant up on his offer!"

"I don’t know. I might buy a boat and take my girls and sail around the world. Whatever I decide to do, I’m going to make the most of it," Mike proclaimed.

"Hey, if you buy that boat are we invited on board?" Terry grinned.

"Sure, I might even hire you guys as the crew," Mike grinned. "By the way, with any luck I’ll get to see the first pictures of my son at three o’clock this afternoon."

"Party time!" Terry yelled as Willie walked in.

"Who’s having a party and why?" Willie wanted to know.

"Mike’s meeting his son this afternoon, so we’re throwing a party tonight," Terry informed Willie.

"That’s cool. We’re there. We’ll even bring the beer," Willie promised.

"Hey, you’re talking about a pregnant lady and a chemo patient. Make it sodas instead," Mike pointed out.

"With all this talk of that baby being a boy, I just hope it has all the right equipment in all the right places," Willie joked.

<><><><><>

Dr. Miller had retired several years before and had been replaced by a young woman OB/GYN. Jill had liked her immediately. She arrived an hour early for her appointment and was sitting in the waiting room when the doctor walked out.

"Jill? What’re you doing here so early? Your appointment isn’t until three," Dr. Sullivan told her, hugging her warmly.

"I’m so nervous that I couldn’t get any work done, so here I am," Jill confessed.

"Come on back. I’m between appointments at the moment," the doctor announced, leading Jill back to her office.

Jill walked back to Dr. Sullivan’s leather decorated office and sat down, looking around at the pictures of the babies all over the walls. On her first visit, Dr. Sullivan had told Jill that the pictures were all of the babies she’d delivered since she’d gone into practice. Jill couldn’t wait until their son’s picture was up there with all the others.

"So, how’s Michelle?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"She’s getting better," Jill replied.

After the incident with Daniel Whitman, Jill had brought Michelle in to see Dr. Sullivan, although it had been with the 15-year-old practically kicking and screaming. But after talking to the doctor and reluctantly letting her examine her, Michelle had told Jill that she actually liked her, even though she admitted to never having been so embarrassed in her life.

"Have they said anything more about the case?" The doctor asked.

"Mike doesn’t talk about it much at home. He doesn’t want to upset Michelle any further but she’s been to talk to the D.A. a couple of times so I guess things are going forward as planned," Jill sighed.

"It must be tough to be 15 years old and being forced to grow up before you’re ready to," the doctor commented.

"It is, because that was me a long time ago. But I got my happily ever after and I hope that someday she will, too," Jill admitted.

"Speaking of your happily ever after, how’s he feeling?" She inquired.

"Looking forward to the end of his chemo. We have little pop-up notes all over the house talking about the end of his chemo. After his radiation ends we’re going to go to the Santa Monica Pier with a bottle of Dom Perignon and watch the sun come up," Jill stated.

"That sounds very romantic," the doctor admitted with a smile.
 
 

When Mike entered the doctor’s office at 10 minutes to three, the receptionist directed him back to the doctor’s office. He walked back and tapped on the door. The doctor opened the door and ushered him inside.

"Hi, baby," he smiled, kissing Jill before taking the chair beside her. "So, what’s going on?"

"Nothing. Jill was early so we were sitting back here, gossiping. Well, if you all will step back to my examining room, we’ll see if we can get a good look at this baby," she said, ushering them both out of the room.

Jill climbed up on the examining table and lifted her uniform shirt up as the doctor put the gel all over her stomach and ran the transducer over it to spread the gel around before turning on the ultrasound machine.

"If we can’t get a good picture this month, we’ll try again next month. Sometimes they cooperate right away and sometimes they’re very shy," the doctor explained. The picture that came across the screen was grainy but the doctor pointed out everything as she moved the wand. "There’s the head. The heartbeat is very good. Now, let’s see if this baby’s going to cooperate with me and show me what sex it is," she explained to them, moving the wand around. "Come on, baby."

Mike was standing beside the table, clutching Jill’s hand tightly in his own. When Jill clutched his hand tighter and smiled over at him, he knew.

"So, does your son have a name?" The doctor smiled over at them.

"Michael Danko the Second. It was a name that was decided on a long time ago," Jill choked out. "Is he okay?"

"He’s perfect and right on schedule. I’d say the end of October. Congratulations," the doctor told them as she turned off the machine and wiped the gel off of Jill’s belly.

That night they had a huge celebration that included everybody. All evening long Mike walked around with the sonogram pictures showing them to everybody a hundred times over. "Did I show you the pictures of my son?" Mike excitedly asked Terry and Willie for the hundredth time.

"Yeah, but I’ll look at them again," Terry told his long-time friend. "How can you even tell there’s a baby in these things, anyway?"

"I don’t know, but believe me, there is. We saw his heart beat and his legs kick and…" Mike continued.

"And, he’s definitely a boy!" Jill confirmed as everybody laughed.

<><><><><><>

That Friday afternoon Mike walked onto the oncology ward for his final chemotherapy treatment. He was still on an incredible high from the news about the baby. But the girls had pointed out to him that they now had a new problem.
 

It had all started the morning after the big party. Mike had come downstairs to eat breakfast with the girls.

"Are we going to move?" Savannah wanted to know.

"Why would we move?" Mike asked, pouring a bowl of cereal and grabbing the milk jug.

"Because we have a four bedroom house. You and mommy have a room and each of us girls has a room. Where is the baby going to sleep?" Savannah asked curiously, stuffing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

"I don’t know. We still have a little time to figure that out. Don’t worry. Nobody’s going to lose their room," Mike assured the three girls.
 

That thought was still weighing heavily on Mike’s mind as the nurse started the chemicals coursing through his body. He decided to talk to the one master carpenter he knew, Eddie, to see if they could possibly build onto the house.

"How are we today, Miguel?" Dr. Olivarez asked, cheerfully walking into the room.

"Terrific! Did I tell you that Jill and I are having a boy?" He asked excitedly as the doctor smiled.

"That’s terrific. Congratulations! By the way, this is your radiation schedule for next week. I’ll need to see you every day for six days, then we’ll monitor you every six months to make sure the cancer doesn’t reappear," the doctor explained. "The radiation isn’t as awful as the chemo and some patients don’t suffer any side effects at all. Your hair should start growing back within a few weeks."

"That’s the best news I’ve heard in months," Mike proclaimed.

"It might look different than it did before it fell out, though," the doctor warned.

"I know. Jill already told me," Mike replied.

That night, it was hard to remain cheerful in between bouts of nausea and vomiting. Mike was so glad that this part of his life was over. Jill came into the bedroom after seeing the girls off to bed and lay down on the bed beside him.

"When are they going to remove the catheter?" Jill asked.

"Week after next. As soon as my radiation treatments are over," he mumbled sleepily as Jill pulled him closer to her. "How’s my son tonight?"

"Active. I don’t think he cared much for dinner," she smiled as she put her hand over his on her stomach.

"Well, I’ll wake him up later when I get ready to eat. Maybe he’ll like peanut butter better," he said, quickly falling back asleep.

Two weeks later, Mike practically skipped out of the hospital after having his catheter removed. Terry had agreed to drive him home so he could run some errands on the way back to the house. What errands, Terry had no idea. Mike was being very mysterious.

Terry unlocked the driver’s side door of his Mustang convertible and hit the button to unlock the passenger side door for Mike, who climbed in and leaned back in the seat with a smile.

"You know, now I have a feeling of how your ancestors must’ve felt when Lincoln freed them. This is the first time in eight months that I actually feel like I have a future again," Mike commented.

"So, where to?" Terry asked, starting the engine as the radio blared to life.

"Just drive me around, Jeeves. I want to enjoy my freedom," Mike sighed as Terry nodded.

"You’re listening to KIIS, Los Angeles," the DJ’s voice came over the radio. "Now playing the latest from Bryan Adams."

Mike lay back with his eyes closed, listening to the radio when the words of the song began to filter through his anesthetic fogged brain.

"How long has that song been out?" Mike asked Terry.

"What? This one? I don’t know, a couple of weeks, I guess. They’ve been playing the hell out of it. Personally, I’m beginning to get sick of it," Terry told him.

"Let’s go out to the lake house. I have to talk to Eddie about something," Mike directed Terry.

Terry drove out to Ryker’s house, wondering what was so earth shattering that Mike had to talk to their former boss.

"Are you still thinking about retiring?" Terry asked.

"Sometimes. It was different being a cop when I didn’t have kids to worry about. This incident with Michelle shook me up. Did I tell you that they’ve confiscated letters that Whitman has tried to send to her?" Mike asked.

"No, I didn’t know that," Terry faltered, shocked by the news Mike had just given him. "Are they threatening letters?"

"No, worse. The guy actually thinks he’s in love with her. He thinks she can save him from himself. I’m scared to death of what’s going to happen when this goes to court," Mike admitted. "I’m scared that if he gets to her again, I won’t be able to get her back this time."

"I just keep thinking that if you retire, that’s like an end of an era. Most of the time I don’t feel old, but something like that kind of makes you face your mortality," Terry sighed.

"Damn, man! I’m just talking about retiring, not dying! Look, I love my daughters. Don’t get me wrong. And even though I always told Jill that having a son didn’t matter, as soon as I saw that image on ultrasound, something in me changed. I want to be around for him like I’ve been around for them. Do you understand what I’m saying?" Mike pressed.

"Yeah, I hear you," Terry admitted reluctantly. "So, if you’re still debating the retirement issue, why are we going out to Ryker’s?"

"I want to build a nursery to die for," Mike grinned.

"Hey, now you’re talking a man-sized project. Count me in," Terry grinned back.
 
 

When Jill came home from work that afternoon, her front yard was full of teenagers and her driveway and the curb were lined with cars, all of which she recognized as belonging to all of their friends. She got out of the mini-van and approached the front door. "What’s going on?" She asked the kids.

"Everybody’s in the backyard and downstairs, measuring and talking loud," Savannah informed her mother.

"Loudly," Michelle corrected in a superior voice and rolling her eyes. "I thought you were the one with the 150 IQ," she told her younger sister.

"LoudLY, then! I never said I had a 150 IQ," Savannah argued back.

"Okay, enough. Let me see what’s going on," Jill said, going into the house.

Sure enough, Eddie and Trap were downstairs in the kitchen, measuring and shouting numbers out to Willie, Terry and Mike in the backyard. She walked out the sliding glass doors to see her husband on a ladder in the backyard.

"Michael! What’re you doing?" She demanded as Mike grinned at her sheepishly. "You were supposed to come home and rest! And, you!" She pointed at Terry. " You told me there wouldn’t be any detours! ‘I’ll bring him straight home, Jill. I promise.’ What did you do? Go round everybody up?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Eddie explained, walking out of the house with Trap in tow. "Mike told me that you were outgrowing your house. We’re going to build a nursery for your son."

"A nursery?!" Jill exclaimed as Mike climbed down the ladder. "Sweetheart, thank you!" She cried as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her.

"We have to get a building permit, but then it’ll be noisy around here for a few months. We hope to get it finished before the big day," he promised her.

"Oh, this is so great!" Jill hugged each of the guys before returning to Mike.
 
 

Jill was sound asleep early the next morning when Mike gently shook her awake. She woke up and looked at him in alarm. "Mike, what’s wrong?" She asked, sitting up.

"Nothing. I think we have a date this morning," he grinned, producing a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon and a blanket as she grinned back.

"The Pier! I almost forgot. Let me get dressed," she whispered, getting up. "What time is it?"

"Just after four. I figure we have an hour or so before sunrise. That’ll give me lots of time," he said mysteriously.

"Lots of time for what? Danko, what’re you up to?" She asked, shrugging into a turtleneck sweater.

"Nothing," he grinned. "I’ll meet you downstairs in five minutes."

Jill finished dressing and walked outside in the early morning to find Mike waiting by the Bronco with a huge grin on his face. He opened the passenger side door for her before getting in the driver’s seat and starting the car. She looked over at him and ran her hand tenderly over his head, smiling as she felt the stubble of his hair growing back.

"Hey, your hair’s starting to grow back," she announced.

"I know. It itches like it did when I first went into the Army and got my crew cut," he grimaced. "Mary Kate made me a new tape. Do you mind if I pop it in?"

"No, I’d like to hear it," she agreed as he popped the cassette into the car player.

‘Look into my eyes – you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart – search your soul
And when you find me you’ll search no more
Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for
You know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

Look into my heart – you will find
There’s nothing there to hide
Take me as I am – take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you

There’s no love – like your love
And no other – could give more love
There’s nowhere – unless you’re there
All the time – all the way
Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it there’s nothin’ I want more
I would fight for you – I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you – Yeah I’d die for you
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you’
 

Tears were coursing down both of their faces as the song ended. Jill unbuckled her seat belt to reach over to embrace him as tightly as she could.

"I love you so much. When I first heard that song, I knew that it said everything that I’ve ever wanted to say and never could," he told her, kissing her tears away. "We’d better get moving or we’re going to miss the sunrise."

"I love you so much, Mike," she whispered as he smiled at her.

Jill didn’t know what kind of strings Mike had pulled to enable them to sit on the Santa Monica Pier at the crack of dawn, but the security guards seemed to be expecting them. He carried the small ice chest with the champagne in one hand while clutching Jill’s hand tightly with the other while she carried the blanket draped over one arm. They sat down on a bench where Mike draped the blanket over both of them and pulled Jill closer to him. Just before the sun came up, he retrieved the champagne from the cooler and opened it with a loud pop.

"I know you’re not supposed to drink this in your condition, but I talked to Dr. Sullivan and she assured me that as long as you have just a sip you’ll be just fine," he assured her, handing her a glass.

"You talked to my doctor? You’re full of surprises," she smiled as he grinned back.

"I’m not done, yet," he hinted as Jill watched him.

Watching the sun come up over the ocean took Jill’s breath away. She leaned her head on Mike’s shoulder tightly holding his hand as the sky went through a series of color changes before the sun came up fully. He picked up the champagne bottle and the two glasses and knelt down beside the cooler to put them in before getting the last part of his surprise. He hadn’t even told the guys about this part. He took Jill’s left hand and slowly slid her wedding set off before replacing it with a diamond anniversary band. Jill looked at the ring and at Mike, puzzled.

"I’ve spent the last eight months doing a lot of thinking. I know it hasn’t been easy seeing me through this and having to practically run the household single-handedly. But, we got through this and I think we got through it stronger than we were going in. That’s why I’d really like the honor of you becoming my wife all over again. This time, in a huge ceremony with all of our friends. Jill, will you marry me?" He asked, tears streaming down his face.

"Yes, I’ll marry you!" She cried, leaning down to kiss him tenderly.
 

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