Happy Anniversary
(Hyperion – Night)
(Angel steps up to the glass doors leading to a balcony and looks out over the lights of the city.)
(Angel Investigations – New Office)
(Cordelia takes down a box of papers from a shelf. Wesley is kneeling on the floor of their new office looking through another stack of papers. The place is a mess. There are papers strewn everywhere.)
Wesley: When they went out of business they just left these here?
Cordelia: Yup. Also the desk. We'll share.
Wesley: And when we go out of business we can just leave our stuff for the next guy.
Cordelia: Hey, hey, negative energy boy, with all of our money pooled together we can stay here a long time.
Wesley: Hmm. 20 minutes.
Cordelia: At least.
Wesley: Angel Investigations without the angel. - You think we can do it?
Cordelia: Well, we better. I mean, what else can we do? And I still have the visions. That'll keep us busy sometimes.
Wesley: We're gonna need a lot more than that. A steady, outside clientele.
Cordelia: It'll happen. This is our future, you know? And, personally, I think it is pretty bright. Ow! (Hits her head on a planter hanging from the ceiling) Dead plant! - *Not* symbolizing our future. Really!
Gunn: (walks in) Okay, everyone parked within ten blocks has a flyer on their windshield. We just slightly irritated almost a hundred people. (Wrinkles his nose) Does it smell funky in here to you?
Cordelia: It'll air out. And good job with the flyers. Now we can just sit back and let the calls roll in.
Gunn: (trying the phone) They better roll in through a bull horn. We've got no dial tone.
Cordelia: What?
Wesley: Perhaps it's the wires.
(Wesley crawls under the desk while Cordelia checks the phone.)
Cordelia: They said it would be on by now!
Gunn: One desk? We're sharing?
Wesley: (from under the desk) Aha! Things are looking up. I think I found the right wire. Ah!
(All the lights go out.)
Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really.
(Hyperion – Angel’s Room)
(Angel lies down in his bed - and wakes up to the sounds of someone singing the star-spangled-banner. He frowns, then gets up.)
(Lobby)
(Angel comes down the stairs into the lobby of the Hyperion, stops on the landing, crossing his arms. The Host sees him and interrupts his song.)
Host: Hey, big fella. You're gotta be singing all the time in here, am I right? Come on, with these acoustics? (sings) 'and the rockets red glare!' - Do you hear that resonance?
Angel: What I hear, and maybe, hopefully, I'm still dreaming, is the star-spangled-banner being belted out by a loud green demon.
Host: We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. Although the garden hue and the horns have kept me out of some key public performances. Just once I'd love to ring in a Lakers game with our national anthem. Is that so much to ask?
Angel: Yes! Is there a reason you're here?
Host: There is. What's today? Thursday? Tomorrow night - the world's going to end. I thought you might want to know.
(Time Lapse)
Angel: So the world's gonna end.
Host: Brings you right down, doesn't it? - Don't feel the need to offer your guest a frothy cappuccino or a hot cinnamon roll.
(Angel sitting down in a chair with his arms crossed.)
Angel: I don't.
Host: Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is, your aura? Beige.
Angel: I don't have coffee.
(The Host runs a finger across the top of a desk.)
Host: Or a duster, buster. I don't know why you fired those three plucky kids. They were good company. Not to mention, Cordelia? Uh! Hot-o-rama! In the 'oh my sizzling loins' sense of the word, if you know what I mean. And the British boy? He's gonna be playing a *huge* - well.
Angel: Are you gonna get to the world ending or are you just gonna chat until it does?
Host: All right, all right! Although my buoyant good will falling on your deaf ears is something we'll need to look at in the future. The world ending? Huh, it's kind of a funny story. I'm at the club last night. Fairly typical Wednesday crowd. A Torto demon and his parasite were *murdering* the Everly Brothers...
(Flashback)
(We see the scene the host is describing. There is a horned demon singing a duet of 'Bye, bye Love' with the head sticking out of his belly for a crowd of assorted demons. At one table sits a young human male, with curly brown hair and glasses. The Host is accepting a drink from the bartender.)
(Hyperion – Lobby)
Host: ...which is nothing compared to what Elian had done to my sea-breeze!
(Flashback)
(We see the host take a sip and grimace.)
Host: (to bartender) Is this a difficult concept? Were we absent the day they taught sea-breeze in bartender school? Vodka, cranberry, *fresh* grapefruit juice. Which requires a real live grapefruit. One you must cut and squeeze, not pour from a can.
(Hyperion – Lobby)
Host: ...Oh. The man is *such* a moron. You have no idea how I'm suffering since Ramone left.
Angel: Oh, I have an idea. Can you just get to the point already?
Host: Yes, I can, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. Get-to-the-point-y-pants. - So this guy I've never seen before - gets up to sing. Usually I love it. You know, they sing, I read their futures, their auras, I see into their souls...
Angel: So this guy...
Host: The thing that was remarkable about him was there was absolutely nothing remarkable about him...
(Flashback)
(The human, Gene, gets up and goes up to the mike.)
Gene: This is a song that I like, because...
Host: (vo) ...Just your average Joe about to mangle a tune and bore me with some bland vision of his bland future...
(Gene sings 'All By Myself' up on the stage, not outstanding, but not bad either.)
(Hyperion – Lobby)
Host: ...But when he started singing - man, he knocked me out!
Angel: He was good?
Host: (laughs) No, Angel-face, he knocked me *out*.
(Flashback)
(We see the host dropping to the floor in front of the bar.)
(Hyperion – Lobby)
Host: ...When I came to he was gone.
Angel: He didn't wait to hear what you saw on him?
Host: Nope-ah.
Angel: So what knocked you out?
Host: I looked into this guy and I saw - he has no future after ten o'clock tomorrow night - and neither does anybody else.
(Angel gets up from his chair, arms still crossed.)
Angel: Let's say I do believe you.
Host: Oh, honey, let's say a lot more than that. We've got to find this guy. This is the big blackout we're talking about. This guy is gonna do something between now and tomorrow night. I don't know what, but it's gonna cancel *everybody's* summer plans. We got to find him and stop him.
Angel: Why'd you come to me?
Host: Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. - Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or - dead. Why? You don't want to work with me? - Is this because I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little...
Angel: Pointless and deadly?
Host: As for example. But I sent you on those missions in good faith. And we interrupt this broadcast to inform you: world ending? Kind of an emergency situation here. You might want to get on board.
Angel: So why did this guy leave the club before you had a chance to tell him what you saw?
Host: People get scared. They come in for a reading, then they don't wanna know. Especially when the psychic faints and, uh! - a teeny bit of vomit... Lets-lets *not* dwell.
Angel: Maybe he's just a guy who likes to sing Karaoke. Maybe he doesn't know anything about you.
Host: That'd make more sense. - So what we should do is to start with the other local Karaoke bars, see if we can get a lead on him. That is if you're not to busy getting lawyers killed and setting girls on fire.
(College Campus – Day)
(Gene is standing in front of a dry erase board contemplating some equations written on it. Two students watch him through a glass window from above.)
Mike: Someone forgot to wind time-boy.
Val: He's thinking. Something *you* ought to try.
Mike: Very funny. He's really not that much smarter than the rest of us.
Val: I guess that's why *his* work on the time paradox earned Professor Orfalla a Nobel nomination and your work on carpet mold was promptly forgotten by everyone?
Mike: You know what you are?
Val: Yes. I do, Mike. And if you say it I'll put your face in liquid nitrogen. (Val gets up and knocks on the glass door leading down into Gene's lab. Gene turns around and goes up the steps to open the door for her.) Hey. What's the good word?
Gene: Entanglement.
Val: (following him down the stairs) How's that again?
Gene: In Newton's world space and time are separate entities, in Einstein's their entwined.
Val: Einstein's entwined. Can you say that ten times really fast?
Gene: (staring at his equations) So how is it that altering one particle of an entangled pair causes the other particle to be affected - without any communication between the two.
Val: Because space and time are one.
Gene: So how do you separate an entwined pair? You don't. You can't. In fact you probably shouldn't even try.
Val: I never do.
Gene: What you should do is carve out - one (writes another equation on board) instant - at a time.
Val: Look, I like the theory of freezing time as much as the next Star Trek nerd...
Gene: It's not freezing time, although that is what it would look like to an outside observer. I'm talking about removing one infinitesimal space-time aggregate of from all that surrounds it.
Val: A tiny event horizon.
Gene: Sort of. And then growing that event into something measurable and controllable. Your dog and his favorite bone preserved forever - in his own impenetrable little bubble.
Val: And who's gonna clean up that bubble?
Gene: If I could just get the math right, I should be able to prove it (walks over to some other equipment) by generating a focal point with the accelerator's beams here and passing liquid mercury - through that point.
Val: Suspending the mercury. Snatching it out of our time-space continuum - and freezing the moment.
Gene: Forever.
(A red head enters the lab.)
Val: Denise. Thank god you're here. Your boyfriend was just coming on to me with the old Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen correlation.
Denise: (smiles) That's what got me - out of physics and into theater.
Gene: Hi, sweetie.
Denise: Hi.
Gene: How are you?
Denise: Good. You?
Gene: Good. So, what's new? (Denise shrugs.) I guess we're on for tomorrow night.
Denise: Uh-huh, we are.
Gene: Big night.
Denise: Yeah. One year anniversary and all. (All three stand around for a moment.) Well, we-we should, ah...
Gene: Oh, you guys are gonna take off?
Denise: Yeah.
Gene: Okay. Well, I guess I - I'll see you tomorrow night then.
(Leans in to give her a quick kiss.)
Denise: Don't work all night.
Val: You know he will.
(Karaoke Bar)
(The Host and Angel enter a dingy bar. One of the customers is slumped asleep at a table, wrapped around a bottle. A boy is singing 'Greensleeves.')
Angel: Nice.
Host: Hmm, it's not that bad. Nothing a couple bottles of lysol can't cure.
(They walk over to the bar. The Host keeps his eyes on the singer.)
Host: Interesting choice. Too bad about the cuisine art tomorrow. You know, if we stop the world from ending tomorrow the scar won't even be that noticeable. (Angel looks at him) Sorry. Occupational hazard.
Angel: Is he here?
Host: Nope.
(Angel drops down on a barstool and rubs his forehead.)
Angel: Seventeen Karaoke bars. You know, I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head.
Host: Well, maybe we're wrong. Sniffing a cold trail.
Bartender: We don't get your kind much.
Host: Excuse me?
Bartender: Demons. We get a couple now and then but they're usually vampires passing for human.
Host: Well, I never pass on anything, mister, especially when it comes with a little umbrella in the glass.
Angel: You worked here long?
Bartender: Eleven years now. It used to be a regular bar. But then they put in one of these Karaoke machines. Thought it would bring in the customers. It drove most of them away. We got a few steadies that make up for it.
Angel: Steadies?
Bartender: A lot of students. They're grad students.
Host: Fits the descrip.
Angel: We're looking for a guy, early twenties, medium build, maybe one of your steadies, sings sad songs like 'All By Myself.'
Bartender: Sounds like the kid.
Angel: Name?
Bartender: I don't know his name but he comes in every few weeks. Runs with the whole broken heart songbook. First time I thought somebody died. But after a couple of weeks I figured he was just one of those manic depressants.
Host: Hey, Goliath, you got a good picture of this grad student in your head? (Bartender shrugs.) Well, how about singing a few bars of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', hmm?
(Bartender looks over at Angel.)
Angel: Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says or he might - talk your ears off.
Bartender: For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow...
Host: Yeah, it's him. It's our boy. Fabulous tone by the way, really nice vibrato. And you keep plugging away on that novel, F. Scott. Art is its own reward. (Aside to Angel) Got to give the people hope. (To bartender) Now this grad student, which university would that be?
(College Campus – Night)
(We scan past his desk and a picture of Gene and Denise together to find Gene still working on his equations.)
Gene: Nine to the eleventh where 'P' is invariant. X, y and z are zero and time is orthogonal to the other three axis. Given 'A' and 'A' slash zero - equals momentum and mass energy... (goes over to enter some stuff on his laptop) and the conservation of p-x, p-y... and p-z - here goes nothing.
(He watches as his machine forms a field where the four emitted beams intersect. Watches the mercury droplet fall - through the field. Turns the machine off.)
Gene: There went nothing. (Throws something small at the dry erase board) This is never gonna work.
(Walks up the steps and out of his lab. A gray skinned, pointy-eared, raccoon-eyed demon comes out from behind some barrels and speaks in some foreign language.)
Demon (subtitles): He's the one. He doesn't know it yet, but he's the one. (Walks over to the dry erase board) From nothingness the human pestilence came, into nothingness it goes.
(The demon causes the crystal on top of his staff to glow red. The red glow shines on a part of Gene's equation and changes it.)
(Angel Investigations – Day)
(Cordelia is setting out armfuls of candles in their dark office.)
Cordelia: There. See? We'll work without the harsh glare of flourescents, or all that distracting computer information.
(Gunn and Wesley are sitting next to each other behind the desk, not moving.)
Gunn: Cordelia - stop trying.
Cordelia: Really?
Wesley: Join us. (Cordelia sits down beside Gunn with a sigh.) Sometimes you need to wallow. Just let the depression settle in - silently.
(The door opens and Virginia walks in carrying a gift basket and a bottle of champagne.)
Virginia: Hey! Wow. This place is great. I brought champagne. You guys must be so excited (takes in their looks) in that really dry, suicidal way.
(Wesley gets up and greets her with a quick kiss.)
Wesley: Sorry, sweetheart. You just caught us in a moment of... Well...
(Cordelia takes the bottle of champagne from Virginia.)
Cordelia: Reality.
Virginia: Oh - that. I avoid that.
Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia: Money. It cures everything but boredom (holds up the basket) and food cures boredom, so there you go. Imported chips and packets of cheese.
Gunn: Thanks.
Wesley: We'll enjoy them huddled around our pathetic candles.
Cordelia: We'll make pathetic nachos.
(Cordelia pops the cork and takes a sip from the bottle.)
Virginia: You guys are really down.
Gunn: Yeah. And don't try to tell us there is no way to go but up, because the truth is - there is always more down.
Virginia: Oh! And that was very well said by the way.
Gunn: Thank you.
Virginia: But I found a case for you. A client. A rich one.
Wesley: Really?
Cordelia: And this isn't the first thing you say when you come in the room?
Virginia: Well, I got distracted by your waves of desperation. But it's true. My friend Patricia, her family, they've got like this big guy that's been harassing them, hanging around the house getting scary, and they'd be really grateful if someone got rid of him.
Gunn: That sounds easy.
Cordelia: Uh, wait. By 'big guy' do you mean demon?
Virginia: Yeah. And by 'house' I mean palatial estate, and by 'grateful' I mean they'll give you big tubs of cash. Really rich family. They invented, um, I don't know, like - chairs, or something.
Cordelia: We'll do it! We'll do anything.
Virginia: Oh, that's so sad. Anyway, he's a Wainakay demon, and he got the eldest son already.
Cordelia: So there's been a death? (Virginia nods) You just let these facts kind of dribble out, don't you?
Virginia: I'll call Patty and tell her you'll take the job.
Wesley: Uh, sweetie, no phone.
Cordelia: Also no lights.
Gunn: And there's a funky smell.
(The three of them start to leave the office.)
Virginia: I wasn't gonna say anything.
(College Campus – Lab)
(Gene enters his lab, sees the equation on the board.)
Gene: Nine to the seventeenth. Where C squared and E squared are obtained by differentiating them... four velocity! Four velocity termination? (Quickly takes off his jacket and enters the changes in his laptop. Turns to watch as the mercury drops into the field and - remains suspended within it.) I did it. - Oh, this is a yee-ha moment. I - I definitely think this is a yee-ha moment! (Runs out of the lab.) Yee-ha-ha!
(Outside)
(Gene runs across the campus past the Reynolds Library.)
(Reynolds Library)
(Angel and the host enter the library through a door with a 'basement access' sign on it.)
Angel: Where did you learn how to drive?
Host: Just now in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?
Angel: What? You nearly got us killed - four times.
Host: Someone had to drive. You weren't exactly qualified, huddled under a blanket in back, hiding from the sun. (Turns to face the shelves as a student passes them.) I better stick to the shadows and think of something to say should we happen upon a comely co-ed.
Angel: Tell her you’re the new school mascot. Wait here.
(The host pulls out a book and opens it to hide most of his face behind it as he watches Angel walk up to the information desk. A girl walks by, glancing at the host and he quickly raises the book to duck behind it completely. Comes back up to see the guy behind the desk handing Angel a stack of books. Angel hands half the stack to the host.)
Angel: Student yearbook/faculty publications going back past five years. Lets see if we can't find your little madman bent on destroying the universe.
Host: I like to think of him as *our* little madman. That's just me, team player, you know?
(As the host puts the book back on the shelf and turns to follow Angel, we see one of the raccoon-eyed demons standing on the other side of the stack.)
(The Quad)
(Denise and the girl from the physics lab are sitting outside on a bench.)
Val: You alright girl?
Denise: Huh? - Yeah. Fine. I'm good. You know, I'm - not - perfect. Oh, god.
Val: Come on, spit it out. You're among friends.
(The camera pans past the banister behind the bench they're sitting on to show Gene coming up the steps behind them. Gene hears Denise voice and slows to a stop.)
Denise: This has to stay among friends. You can't repeat this to anybody.
Val: I won't.
Denise: I just - I just don't think that it's gonna work out with me and Gene.
(Gene freezes behind them on the steps.)
Val: Oh. And tonight is your guy's one year anniversary!
Denise: You think I don't know that?
(Gene just kind of sags.)
Val: Oh, honey.
Denise: I mean, Gene's a wonderful guy.
Val: Yeah?
Denise: But he's just sort of - hollow, or something. When I'm with him I feel - I feel lonely.
Val: Maybe that's because *he* is. You know I love him, but he *is* an energy sucker.
Denise: I have to break up with him.
Val: Uh. Not to be a massive bitch or anything, but couldn't you figure that out *before* the big anniversary do?
Denise: He's got the whole thing planned. He's making me dinner at his place.
Val: What are you gonna do? (Denise just looks down.) Oh, my god. You're gonna give him the sympathy bone, aren't you? It's gonna be dinner, sympathy bone, and adios Gene. I'm totally right, aren't I?
Denise: Well, we've been together for a year. I can't just - walk out on him! It just wouldn't be right. Not after all we've...
Val: No, you're right. The post-sympathy-bone-walk-out is you're only escape hatch now.
Denise: It was really sweet there for a while. Really sweet. But it's just - it's just not the kind of love that lasts.
(Gene turns around and walks back down the steps.)
(Reynolds Library)
(The host and Angel are looking through the yearbooks at a table at the library.)
Angel: This him?
Host: It is not.
(Angel drops his book and picks up another one.)
Host: Oh, got him. He's a physicist - and a pretty good one according to this.
(Angel grabs the book from him.)
Angel: I'll find out where the lab is.
(Angel shows the picture in the book to the guy behind the information desk.)
Angel: Hi. I'm just trying to get a hold of - Gene Rainy? He's a grad student in physics.
Guy: Oh, yeah. He's our own Stephen Hawking. Ah, what do you want with him?
(Angel closes the book and shakes the guys hand.)
Angel: I'm sorry. Leonard Taubman from the Taubman Foundation. We just freed up some new grant money. I was hoping to earmark it for Gene.
Guy: Wish I was a genius. He's got his own lab in the physics department. (Picks up a campus map) Uh, it's about a quarter of a mile from here. You just stay on this path, go past Kelton hall... (sees something behind Angel) What is that?
Angel: (without turning around) Don't worry. School mascot.
(Angel drops onto the desk as one of the raccoon-eyed demons buries a strangely shaped ax in his back then turns to where the host is sitting.)
(Lab)
(Gene enters his lab and looks at a photo of him and Denise together, smiling. Turns to look at the dorps of mercury hanging suspended in the air inside the field.)
Gene: So I'll give her the kind of love that lasts.
(Reynolds Library)
(The raccoon-eyed Lubber demon is trying to free his ax from the back of a computer monitor. The host stands and watches as it and Angel fight. The host says something in demon, then picks up a book and throws it. The Lubber demon leans to the side and the book hits Angel, knocking him back onto the stairs.)
Host: Sorry.
(Angel ducks another hit with the ax then kicks the Lubber over the railing of the stairs. The lubber picks up a chair, says something to Angel in demon, then throws the chair at him. Angel bats the chair aside and watches the demon run off.)
Angel: (to Host) What did you say to it?
Host: I said we come in peace. I don't think he believed me.
Angel: And what did he say to me?
Host: He said 'you shall not stop the golden child, the one for whom we have waited.' Lubber demons, they have a way with words.
Angel: What's a Lubber demon?
Host: Fanatical sect, awaiting a messiah who will usher in the end of all human life. A lot of your demons don't yak about it in mixed company, but it is a pretty popular theology in the underworld.
Angel: So this mad scientist has these demons worshipping and protecting him while he blows up the planet... or what? - What's he gonna do?
Host: Lets get to his lab pronto and find out. It's pretty clear we're dealing with a criminal mastermind.
(Gene’s Apartment Building)
(Gene is singing 'All By Myself' while setting up his equipment in the basement of his apartment complex.)
(College Campus – Lab)
(Angel and the host are entering Gene's lab where Mike is examining what is left from Gene's setup.)
Angel: Hey, we're looking for Gene Rainy?
Mike: So am I. Somebody took his equipment?
Angel: What equipment?
Mike: Particle accelerators, propulsion batteries... (sees the host) What's that?
Angel: Don't worry. It's just the new school mascot.
Mike: For the Buccaneers?
Host: Not your school, silly.
Angel: Do you know what Gene Rainy was working on?
Mike: Ah. Time paradox. Accelerate specific particles out of our continuum into their own excised universe.
Angel: Come again?
Host: Stopping time.
Mike: Which is impossible by the way. No one can do the math. Does anybody listen to me? No. He gets the grants, I get carpet mold.
(Gene’s Apartment)
(We see Gene continuing to set up his equipment, setting up the mirror panels around his bed and putting the switch onto the night stand.)
Angel (vo): Alright. Lets say he could do it. Lets say he could stop time. How would it work?
Mike (vo): Well, you know, according to his speculations you focus the accelerators on a specific point, and if you can generate the correct velocity, whatever is in that field would just be removed.
Angel (vo): Removed.
Mike (vo): From our reality.
(Gene is straightening his bedspread and sets a red rose down on it.)
Host (vo): What happens to it?
Mike (vo): Nothing. In the absolute sense of that word. Whatever is in the field would stand still forever in its own private universe.
(College Campus – Lab)
Host: Say, someone, just for fun, were to crank this into overdrive.
Mike: If the field were improperly contained it would spill out. Keep growing, stop everything (the host and Angel look at each other) - kind of wiggy, huh?
Angel: Who has the keys to this place?
Mike: Only Gene. Even the maintenance guys can only come in when he's here.
Host: No forced entry.
Mike: Why would Gene take his own equipment?
Angel: The question is *where* would Gene take his own equipment.
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Gene is lighting the candles on the table set for a romantic dinner.)
(Street)
(Angel and the host are driving down the street in Angel's convertible.)
Host: So there is another gear after that number two thingy? (Angel gives him a look) Oh, relax. I'll pay for a tune-up. Unless the world ends, then I'm off the hook.
Angel: Well, if it saves you some money, then I guess it's a good thing.
Host: Oh, this whole sour pussy mode of yours, it's starting to grate. You know what your problem is? - Are you listening?
Angel: Do I have a choice?
Host: Your heart isn't in it anymore.
Angel: I don't have a pulse so technically I don't have a heart.
Host: Technically, someone puts a stake through it you don't have anything anymore. So, Bubba, your heart counts.
Angel: I have no idea what you're babbling about.
Host: Yes, you do. If the world were to end tonight, would it really, in your heart of hearts, be such a terrible thing? (Angel doesn't answer.) Now- now, sweetie, is that a fun place to be?
Angel: I think you should shut up now.
Host: I'm the host. Have you met me? I never shut up. You pushed your friends away. You went from helping the helpless to hunting down the guilty. Blood vengeance is a luxury of the lesser beings. You're a champion, Angel. I mean - you were, at least.
Angel: What do you want me to tell you?
Host: Everything. What's in your heart, why you stopped caring. You know, the whole ball of wax, so I can help you get back on your path. No need to rush, we got time. You know - not a *lot*.
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Gene is setting a bowl of salad and a little wrapped jewelry box on the table, then checks his watch.)
(Street – Angel’s Car)
(The host is singing to himself while Angel looks over at him from time to time.)
Host: La la la li, du du dum...
Angel: You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can! Never going to be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law-school graduates working fulltime driving me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's 'Angel, why you're so cranky?' 'Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid.'
Host: Oh. Not this season, honey.
Angel: Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. They took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew - they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means that they're still human. It means their better off fired.
Host: You kind of left them in the cold.
Angel: It's a lot colder in here.
Host: It's not always gonna be this way. The song changes. Unless, of course, we don't get there on time, in which case - you'll be frozen in this *crappy* mood forever. I shudder to think.
Angel: (looks over at the host) We'll get there.
Host: Look out!
(Angel looks back around to see a figure standing in the middle of the road. The car hits it and sends it flying over the car as Angel hits the brakes, bring the car to a stop. Angel and the host get out to check on who they just hit, but when they turn the body over it turns out to have been a Lubber demon. Angel and the host straighten up to see more Lubber demons converge on them from all sides, carrying more of their strangely shaped axes.)
(Gene’s Apartment)
(There is a knock on Gene's door. He checks his hair in the mirror real quick then opens it to let Denise in.)
Gene: Hi.
Denise: Hi.
Gene: You look, uh... - Well, happy anniversary.
(Patty’s House)
(Gunn pulls his ax out of the back of a horned demon lying on the floor in Patty's house. Patty's dad pats him on the back.)
Patty’s Father: Good job, man. We're very grateful.
(Wesley is examining one of the demon's legs.)
Wesley: Oh, yes. We found the killer (lets the leg drop) just not the murderer.
(As Wesley gets up we can see the whole family sitting in on a couch and chairs in the background.)
Aunt: What's he talking about?
Wesley: This demon was a puppet. Acting under the control of someone else. Someone in this room.
(Cordelia eyes a tray of hors d'oeuvres.)
Cordelia: Are these for everyone?
Wesley: What do we know? We know that when we arrived yesterday there was a noticeable scent of foxglove and hellebore. (Cordelia is eating the hors d'oeuvres) Not to keep this demon out, as one might suspect, but rather to keep him *in* so he could carry out the murderer's clever plan. (Wesley turns to look at the father.) Such a plan would require the skills of a master wizard.
Dad: I don't do that stuff anymore.
Wesley: Then we have the footprints in the soft soil under the widow outside the solarium - far too small and not webbed to belong to this demon.
Aunt: But Kevin told you, those were his.
Dad: He snuck in late last night.
Wesley: Loudly, so we all could hear. Supposedly from seeing that shop girl in town. But we all know that Kevin is impotent, so why put on the show? (Everyone turns to look at Kevin.) Perhaps to cover for the real killer - unless Kevin in fact *is* the real killer. With Derek gone, the family inheritance falls to you, the younger brother and black sheep of the family. Unfortunately you had neither the opportunity nor the intelligence to perpetrate this crime. Sorry about the impotent remark. So if Kevin was to have control of the money, who would have control of Kevin?
Cordelia: (pointing at the empty tray) Are there any more of these little... (Wesley clears his throat.) Sorry.
Wesley: His sister? His mother? - Both powerful forces in his life, both with their own agendas. But only one person knew the secret that would allow them to blackmail Kevin for the rest of his life. Only one person took pains to hide their muddy shoes. Only one person reeked of foxglove and hellebore. Only one person was responsible for the death of Derek Bointon - his own sweet, doting Aunt Helen!
(All the Bointons gasp.)
Dad: Helen!
(Aunt Helen jumps up from her chair and runs for the door only to have Cordelia block her way.)
Cordelia: Not so fast, sister.
Gunn: (to Wesley) *That* was cool.
Wesley: It wasn't that difficult. You just - have to keep sifting the evidence until the truth finally hits you.
(Street)
(Angel is fighting the Lubber demons fast and furious, while the host stands on the sidelines, watching as if it was a boxing match. Two of the Lubbers decide to go for the host. The host lets out a loud high note, causing them to drop their axes and cover their ears in pain as we hear some glass shatter, then kicks one between the legs and hits the other across the chin, dropping them both, before going back to watching Angel.)
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Gene and Denise sit at the dinner table.)
Gene: So how was scene class?
Denise: Well, you know - Jack - thinks he can't play it without a goatee.
Gene: The footstool would have a goatee?
Denise: Well, you know Jack. (She lifts the necklace hanging around her neck.) Thank you for the, ah... It's really pretty.
Gene: It made me think of you. (Denise looks down at the food on her plate.) Are you all done?
Denise: Yeah. I'm not that hungry. - It was good. It was really good.
(Street)
(Angel knocks down another Lubber demon.)
Host: Hurry!
(Angel runs over to his car and jumps back in the driver's seat.)
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Denise picks up the rose on Gene bed and smells it.)
Denise: That's sweet.
Gene: I'm sorry about the clutter.
Denise: (smiles) It wouldn't be you without it.
(She slowly takes off her blouse and lets her hair down.)
(Street)
(Angel's car is speeding down the road.)
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Gene and Denise are in bed under the sheets, kissing.)
Gene: I love you.
(Outside)
(Angel's car pulls up in front of Gene's building, and he and the host get out.)
Angel: Okay. If I had a machine to stop time, where would I put it?
Host: Probably were the demons can guard it.
(The host points at a Lubber demon.)
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Gene is on top of Denise in bed. He reaches over to the nightstand and flicks the switch that turns on the machine down in the basement. A beam shoots straight up from it, bounces off a mirror in Gene's bedroom to another one. The time field begins to form above the bed and to slowly spread to cover first Gene then Denise, who freeze in place.)
(Basement)
(Down in the basement a Lubber demon is entering new control functions on Gene's laptop. The machine revs up and the field starts to grow. The Lubber demon nods to himself, then turns as another of its kind comes crashing down through the window, followed by Angel. The field is growing down from the top apartment. It engulfs and freezes a guy sitting down pouring himself a beer. Angel is fighting the two Lubbers in the basement. Knocks one of them down, then smashes its head in the open door of a dryer sitting there knocking it out. The other Lubber hits Angel from behind, then hits him hard enough to send Angel flying to the top of the basement stairs. The Lubber charges up the stairs after him. Angel rolls onto his back and uses his feet to catapult the Lubber into the wall, then jumps down to the basement floor. The Lubber launches himself into the air to stop Angel before he can reach the machinery, but the time bubble spreading down through the ceiling freezes it in mid air. Ducking low, Angel scrambles over to the machine and pulls out some wires. The bubble shrinks and the Lubber lands on the hard ground instead of on Angel. Angel picks up its dropped ax and buries it in its back. The bubble continues to shrink, unfreezing the guy pouring his beer, unfreezing Denise and Gene and vanishes.)
(Basement)
(Angel, breathing hard, looks around the basement.)
(Gene’s Apartment)
(Denise is sitting on the edge of the bed with the sheet wrapped around her, her back to Gene, lying back on the bed, covered by a blanket.)
Denise: Gene, we have to talk.
(Time Lapse)
Gene: I can't believe this.
(Gene is sitting at his table with Angel and the Host, fully dressed.)
Gene: Listen, I am - really, really sorry. I had no idea I was putting the whole world in jeopardy or - or there were all these demons. - Although the idea of aliens among us is consistent with Murdoch's multi-verse. I just - I just didn't want her to leave.
(The host looks at Angel and motions with his head towards Gene. Angel glances back and forth between the host and Gene, then takes a deep breath.)
Angel: Well, you know - love (lets out his breath) it's a fire.
Gene: You been there.
Angel: It burns you. - Alive. (Gene frowns at him.) Down to the bone. And then it turns the bone to ash...
Host: I-I think what my chipper friend is trying to say here, Gene, is the wheel keeps turning. You can't stop it. Sometimes things get worse, sometimes they get better.
Gene: I want the wheel to stop - which probably explains the whole time in a box disaster. I can't emphasize enough how sorry I am about that.
Host: It just don't work, Gene-y. It's like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time (laughs) actually I can hold a note forever. But eventually that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after, and the one after that. That's what makes it music.
Gene: I guess. - - You guys like beer?
Angel: Beer sounds great.
Gene: (get up) I'm glad you guys, ah...
(Leaves the room.)
Host: (to Angel) You're connecting to a human. That's a start. Although I'd go easy on the bone and ash metaphors for a while.
Angel: Well, the guy is a disaster at love, and nearly destroyed the world. I can relate. Yeah, I guess I did kind of leave 'em in the cold.
Host: What, your buddies? By firing them?
Angel: Yeah. - Yeah, I guess I made it pretty hard for 'em.
(Angel Investigations)
(Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn are dancing. There is music playing and their candlelit office is filled with people. The camera changes to give us a look in through the window in the door from outside. Cordelia looks towards the window and stops dancing, pats Wesley on the shoulder and walks towards the door. A human, middle aged male is walking in through it.)
Cordelia: Hi.
Wesley: How are you?
Man: Um...
Gunn: You alright?
Man: I just - I need help. Is this Angel Investigations?
Wesley: Uh, yeah, you're in the right place. Ah. Sorry about the confusion.
Cordelia: We're just having a little celebration. A new beginning kind of thing.
Man: Oh, well, maybe I should...
Wesley: No!
Gunn: No, no. You need help, you're in the right place. We can talk in back. Come on in.
Man: Which one of you is Angel?
(The three of them exchange a glance.)
Wesley: It's just a name.
Season Two Guide