Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even *have* chainsaws.

Angelus: Acathla the demon came forth to swallow the world. He was killed by a virtuous knight who pierced the demon's heart before he could draw a breath to perform the act. Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried where neither man nor demon would want to look. Unless of course they're putting up low-rent housing.

Angelus: Tell you what. I'll torture ya for a few unbelievably long hours, and you can tell me if this is the lifestyle for you.

Angelus: Good news, Wes Old Boy! You don't have an inferiority complex. You're just simply inferior.

Angelus: Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends.

Angelus: Spike, my boy, you really don't get it! Do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck! She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl... you have to love her.

Angelus: I could never live in a rat infested stinkhole like this, pardon me for saying so. But I gotta have meself a proper bed or I'm a terror.

Angelus: Why are people always riding off and leaving me? Am I a bad bloke…?

Angelus: I guess I really did drive you crazy.

Angelus: Oh, yeah. Acathla. He's an even harder guy to wake up than you are. I mean, I performed the rituals, said all the right phrases...blood on my hand. Got nothing. Big doughnut hole for my troubles. I figure you know the ritual. You're pretty up on these things. You could probably...tell me what I'm doing wrong. But honestly, I sorta hope you don't...'Cause I *really* wanna torture you.

Angelus: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.

Angelus: Oh, my cure? No, thanks. Been there, done that, and deja vu just isn't what it used to be.

Angelus: My friends... we're about to make history... end.

Angelus: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell.
Buffy: No...
Angelus: I'm wondering, where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration?
Buffy: No.
Angelus: I know what you're thinking. Maybe there's some good deep down inside of me that remembers and loves you, if only you could reach me. But then again, we have reality.

Angelus: "Dear Buffy..." Hmmm. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.
Angelus: Lacks... poetry.
Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?

Spike: No more of this "I've got a soul" crap?
Angelus: What can I say? I was going through a phase.

Spike: You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?
Angelus: She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive.

Angelus: Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him.
Buffy: Leave Willow alone and deal with me.
Angelus: But she's so cute and helpless. Really a turn-on.

Angelus: You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered.
Buffy: That doesn't work anymore. You're not Angel.
Angelus: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? It doesn't matter. The important thing is, you made me the man I am today!

Angelus: What do you know about it? I'm the one who was friggin' violated. You didn't have this thing in you.
Drusilla: What was it? A demon?
Angelus: Love!

Angelus: It's good to be back in Sunnydale. Nice climate, plenty to eat, no tortured humanity to hold me down.

Mayor: Angelus, may I call you Angel?
Angelus: Well, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me master.

Angelus: You know what I just can't believe, all of our time together and we never tried chains.

Angelus: Wes, aren’t you glad to see me?
Wesley: Should I be?
Angelus: Well, if it wasn’t for your and your shaman friend I wouldn’t be here. I’m feeling the love.

Angelus: That slayer, she’s a pistol.

Wesley: I’ve imagined this moment many times. Years of study, research. I’ve read everything ever written about you.
Angelus: Stop, I’m blushing.

Angelus: Buttering me up, getting me all relaxed. Not the most creative interrogation technique, but okay, I’ll play.

Angelus: Hey, I’m an open book. Anything you want to know. (pause) How sweet that virgin gypsy tasted? Special smell of a newborn’s neck? My first nun? No that’s a great story.

Angelus: Here’s one for you. What’s the deal with Angel and the Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Wesley: The movie?
Angelus: The perfect fantasy he came up with. Caves, booby traps, the requisite phallic sword.

Angelus: But why now? It can’t be because there’s an Apocalypse coming. Always one of those around the corner.

(re: Connor)
Angelus: Twerp really gives me the creeps. How about you?

Angelus: (as Cordelia) Angel, we can’t. You were so bad. You ate babies. (as himself) Chicks.

Angelus: Which do you think is worse, Wes? Stealing my kid like you did or banging him like Cordelia? All that bumping and grinding…fire raining from the sky…quite a picture. Well, snapshots more like it, cause Connor…(laughs)

Angelus: Hey! Who’s a guy gotta kill to get a drink around here?!

Angelus: Fred. You look all fresh and sweet…but I hear you at night, in your room…with Gunn. The things you say…tsk tsk tsk…I’m lying there, listening, hands under the covers. I can’t help myself…it’s so gripping.

Angelus: Is that my shirt?
Connor: Not anymore.
Angelus: It looks good on you…son.
Connor: So did Cordy.
Angelus: She looks good on everybody.

Angelus: And now my boys’ in love. All hearts and flowers. But doesn’t it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it…the first woman you boned is the closet thing you’ve ever had to a mother. Doing your Mom…and trying to kill your Dad. There should be a play.

Angelus: Wouldn’t mind a car. I hear the new Mustang’s nice.
Cordelia: Something better.
Angelus: What’s a better ride than a Mustang?
Cordelia: Me.

Angelus: Not that there aren’t a few things I wouldn’t mind doing to that body…other than the obvious.

Angelus: Mmmm….those Prussian girls. Must be the pastries…worth the trip. All that sweetness…gets into their blood.

Angelus: Bodies, bodies everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

Angelus: I probably could have been a little more diplomatic with my refusal, but I’m not into teamwork.

Cordelia: We found a little boy…his sister…mom, dad, grandma. All dead.
Angelus: Oh God! I’m always missing the fun stuff.

Angelus: The more you piss me off, the longer I’ll keep you alive. Oh….something tells me she’s a screamer.

Angelus: Awfully quiet up there. I’ve had time to think, and I’ve realized something important. Being evil is wrong. I wanna be good. I wanna be Angel again. You hear me?! I’m ready!

Angelus: And that accent…oooh, chicks just love a good accent. Makes ‘em all buttery in their nether regions. Isn’t that right, Fred? You know, I had a bit of an Irish brogue back in the day. If you like, I can use it on you, when I rape you to death. Or…

Angelus: A crowbar? You can do better than that. Try playing up the awe and the reverence a bit…the great Angelus.

Angelus: Look at yourself, Lilah. All these years…wanting to meet me. You couldn’t run a comb through your hair, maybe slap on a little lipstick? Evil doesn’t have to mean sloppy.

Lilah: The Beast. I want you to stop it.
Angelus: Oh…not sure I really want to. Don’t get me wrong…not a big fan of the horn job. Although he did bring on permanent midnight. Gotta give him props for that.

Lilah: Why is he picking on us? We’re the bad guys!
Angelus: Apparently not bad enough. But there is a bright side, you have a devoted boyfriend who loves and cares…oh wait, you don’t. (laughs) Your life really is crap.

Angelus: Morons. That big rock doesn’t have minions. It is the minion. (slowly stands up)
Fred: No it’s not. We’ve seen what it can do.
Angelus: You’ve just seen the warm-up act.
Cordelia: What are you saying?
Angelus: I’m saying there’s something bigger…something worse. The Beast has a boss. (smiles)

Angelus: How did you survive this long being so retarded?

Connor: How do you know there’s something worse than the Beast?
Angelus: Cause I got a brain…son. The Beast I knew was big into smash and slaughter. Had the brawn to be really good at it too. But the big picture? Not his strong point. But whoa…flash forward. Now he’s all rain of fire, destroying the Ra-Tet, blocking out the sun? Big moves for a guy whose head is made out of rock.
Cordelia: Maybe he got smarter.
Angelus: And maybe I’ll sprout some wings and flutter away. There’s something else out there…more powerful, more vicious…pulling all the strings. Oh…I don’t know about you, but I’m just dying to find out what it is.

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