Dad
(Hyperion – Night)
(The gang walks into the lobby as a thunderstorm rages outside.)
Cordelia: We need to make some little changes for safety. Covers for the outlets, kidproof the locks on the weapons cabinet. (Sees the blood spattered equipment that is all that remains of the fight between the Grapplar demons and Wolfram and Hart's swat team.) Right after we gut and remodel the entire hotel.
Fred: We should be careful. Whatever was in those cages could still be loose. (Gunn and Angel exchange a look. Fred sees that the cages are labeled: Baby and Mother.) Oh.
Gunn: There's blood over here.
Wesley: Not to mention some bastard’s blown a gaping hole in the lift.
Angel: Sorry. My bastard.
Wesley: Oh. Well - not like we ever use it.
(We hear someone walk up to the front door. Angel huddles protectively around the baby. Gunn hefts his ax and Wesley aims a crossbow at the person coming in through the doors, hidden by a big umbrella. Lorne lowers the umbrella and recoils at all seeing the grim expressions at the weaponry aimed at him.)
Lorne: Now is that anyway to welcome a houseguest?
(Everyone lowers their weapons.)
Gunn: Houseguest?
Lorne: Well, I figured since you all managed to destroy my club - twice - that I wouldn't be imposing if I hit you up for a place to stay. (Sees the mess in the lobby) On second thought, maybe I should reconsider that standing offer I have from a marginally attractive Mulix demon.
Wesley: Well, if he/she/it has more suitable accommodations...
(Lorne walks towards Angel, holding out his hands.)
Lorne: Ah, come on, hand over the little nipper. Let Uncle Lorne have a gander. (Angel curls tighter around the baby.) Oh, come on, I'm sure everyone else's already had their turn!
(Gunn and Fred peel the stickers off the cages. Lorne puts a hand on Angel's arm, but Angel shakes it off.)
Lorne: Wow. I'm sensing a serious 'mama bear' vibe.
Cordelia: Yeah, we're all still waiting our turn.
Lorne: I get it. Lookee don't touchee? I see he's got himself a little scratch...
(Lorne reaches towards the baby's left cheek, but Angel pushes his hand away.)
Cordelia: Yeah, during the rush to get out of the alley. (Comes over) Here, let me put a little ointment on it.
(Angel takes the ointment from Cordelia.)
Angel: I-I I got it. I got it. (He goes to lay the baby down on the counter top.) Easy. Right there. Alright. (Undoes the blanket a little) Let your arms out. - Okay. Shh. (He carefully dabs some ointment on the cut and the baby begins to cry.) What? What did I do?
Cordelia: You don't have a woman's touch - whatever your taste in clothing may indicate.
(She walks off to sit down on the steps leading into the lobby from the door to the garden court. Angel reads what's written on the tube of ointment. Gunn picks up a cleaver-like instrument laying on top of one of the cage and looks at it.)
Gunn: I don't even wanna know.
Fred: You think you could throw it?
Gunn: I guess. Why?
Fred: (points past him) There!
(Gunn turns and sees a demon leaping over the railing out side the glass garden court doors. Cordelia jumps up with a scream as the demon comes charging in. Gunn throws the cleaver.)
Gunn: Bogie at the back door!
(Angel, baby wrapped protectively in his arms, turns his back to the door, trying to shield the baby with his body. The demon, scimitar raised above it's head, falls backwards onto the steps, the cleaver buried in his chest and one of Wesley’s crossbow bolts in its neck.)
Cordelia: This isn't over, is it?
Wesley: No. Angel's son is part of the prophecy. Everyone and everything will be coming for him.
Gunn: Which means we need a plan.
Angel: Ah-ha! (Everyone turns to look at him.) I think I figured it out. (Pulls a diaper out of his coat pocket.) He wet himself.
(Time Lapse)
(Wesley walks into the office and sees Angel changing the baby on the desk.)
Wesley: Angel, we could use your help when you're finished - changing the baby - who is being changed on my desk.
Angel: Sorry. I needed the space.
Wesley: Of course. And seeing as you once nearly had sex on my desk I shouldn't be surprised that now there is a baby on it.
Angel: Hey! First of all that wasn't me, that was some guy who switched bodies with me. And second of all (Cups his hands around the baby's ears, and drops his voice to a whisper.) …can we keep the S E X talk away from the baby?
(Wesley steps closer and picks up the pack of diapers.)
Wesley: Do you need help?
Angel: Ah, no, Wes. I know how to change a diaper - a normal one with pins. It's these newfangled fasteners.
Wesley: Did you know these diapers are lined with a space-age material originally designed for NASA astronauts? Hmm, interesting. (Puts the pack of diapers down.) Though now I'm picturing grown men in nappies and am rather disturbed.
Angel: Ah, okay, got it. (To baby) You're all ready aren't you? (He wraps the baby back in its blanket and drops the bundled up, used diaper into Wesley’s hand. Wesley looks down at it. Angel picks up the baby and looks at Wesley.) Right. How's the list coming along?
(Lobby)
(The others are waiting in front of a dry erase board. Wesley drops the diaper on the counter top as he walks past.)
Wesley: We've divided it into two categories. Column one groups or individuals that we know pose a threat to the baby: Holtz, Wolfram & Hart, the vampire cult that attacked us at the hospital. Column two those you *could* pose a threat once they get wind of the baby.
Angel: Order of Phillius, Beltar the Cremator, - Frank?
(The list also has a 'Piper Beast' and 'The Scourge' as potential threats.)
Gunn: Local mobster, specializes in kidnapping.
Angel: Ah. (Baby begins to cry) What, what, what? What is it? You can't be wet again. I just changed you. Ah-hmm, are you hungry? I got a bottle all ready for you. (Walks over to counter and looks around.) Where did I put his bottle? I had a bottle all ready for him! (Cordelia hurries over, picks up the bottle and hands it to him.) Okay. (To baby) Here's your babba. (Baby cries) Take your babba. (Gunn grins.) You just take it like this (Angel lifts the bottle and makes sucking noises) and you drink, and you're happy.
(The baby continues to cry. Gunn comes over.)
Gunn: Angel, why don't you let me take him for a little while. I helped raise my cousin since she was about a week old.
(Cordelia throws up her hands and walks away.)
Angel: I-i can handle it. (Walks away from Gunn) Alright, so we got a list. All we have to do is erase everyone on it.
Fred: (picks up a dry eraser) I can do that for you.
Cordelia: Ah, Fred...
Fred: What? (She stops erasing and turns to look at Cordelia.) Oh, you meant erase in a squish and kill violent kind of way. I'll just put that back. (Writes Holtz name back on the list.)
(Angel paces and tries to get the baby to take the bottle.)
Angel: Come on, it's a nice babba. You wanna stop crying and take your babba, yes you do - please?
(Sahjhan’s Lair)
Sahjhan: Well that was a thrilling evening. It's not like I've been waiting two hundred and fifty years for you to take your blood vengeance on Angel to have you just stand there and let him walk away.
Holtz: Why didn't you tell me Darla was pregnant?
Sahjhan: Didn't matter. You were supposed to kill them both before she could have it.
Holtz: She sacrificed herself to save the child.
Sahjhan: Yeah. Darla did your job for you. Well, at least one of them is dust.
Holtz: She got off easy. Angel's demise will be a great deal more painful.
Sahjhan: You know you throw around a lot of big words like death and pain and no mercy, but so far I haven't seen bupkus. (The Grapplar demons are following behind them stuffing themselves with fast food as they go.) Listen to me, Holtz, we got prophecies to fulfill. We don't need some deep, dark plan for Angel. You put a stake in him, you watch him go poof! It's a classic.
Holtz: Step one is getting rid of these minions.
Sahjhan: No. Step one is poof. And then there are no more steps. And we can't get rid of the Grapplars. I signed a two-week contract. Trust me, you don't wanna piss these guys off.
Holtz: They're soulless beasts bred only to maim and kill.
(One of the Grapplars is looking at the drink and food he is holding.)
Sahjhan: Ah! Maim and kill. Two more words I like. You're gonna need these guys - unless you're plan is to kill Angel with candy clowns and marshmallow pies. (All the Grapplars are making choking noises. Sahjhan looks at them.) What's happening?
Holtz: I need more than mere fighters.
Sahjhan: They're choking! Do you know the Heimlich? I can't do it in this dimension. My arms will go right through them. (The Grapplars start dropping one by one) What did you do?
Holtz: I poisoned their drink.
Sahjhan: Why?!
Holtz: Because I don't need mercenaries who will kill for anyone willing to pay their price. I need warriors who will die for my cause... (One remaining Grapplars charges Holtz from behind. Holtz kills him with a backwards thrust of his sword without ever taking his eyes off Sahjhan.) …like that.
Sahjhan: Great. So step one is I'm stuck with four costly and dead demons. What's step two?
(Holtz walk over to where a computer is sitting atop a table.)
Holtz: We can find information using this box - correct?
Sahjhan: Yeah. You won't believe how fast my connection is. What do you wanna find?
(Sahjhan passes his hand in front of the computer screen and the entry page of the "Demons, Demons, Demons" database comes up.)
Holtz: Obituaries.
(Hyperion – Lobby)
(Cordelia is at her laptop searching that same database.)
Gunn: What about that ninja guy that attacked us at the hospital?
Wesley: The vampire cult killed him before he could get to the baby.
Fred: There could be more of them.
Cordelia: The world is a sick and demented place. You know there are already three websites offering money for the baby?
(Fred is adding 'Ninja guys' to the column of known threats.)
Angel: (carrying the baby) Fred, help them trace the websites.
Fred: Right.
(Angel is still trying to get the baby to take the bottle.)
Angel: It's good. Try it. You'll like it. Mmmm, so good. (The baby keeps crying. Fred takes Cordelia's place in front of the laptop. Angel picks up a stuffed Teddy and pretends to feed it the bottle.) See? Ha. Teddy likes it. And I like it, too. (Angel opens his mouth and shakes some of the milk from the bottle into it.) See? Mmmm. (Smiles at the baby, then turns his head away, makes a face and spits.)
(A blue flash lights up the hotel and everyone looks around.)
Fred: What was that?
Lorne: (walks in) Oh, just listening to those Furies gives me whiplash! Thank god they finally left. My head was about to pop off. Which, granted, not that big a deal.
Wesley: That flash was their spell kicking in?
Lorne: Yeah, they put a force field over the entire hotel. No one or thing can get in or out.
Fred: So, the baby's safe? We're all safe. Right, Lorne? I-I mean unless one of those killers decides to throw in a fire bomb in at us like they did at your club, which had a similar safety spell around it as I recall. - Sorry.
Angel: She's right. He won't be safe here for long.
Lorne: Well, we can get out if we have to. I installed an emergency exit down in the sewers. A-a mystical barrier, opens and closes with a password. (To Fred) Pylean word for hedgehog.
Fred: Oh. - Oh! (Starts to laugh.)
Gunn: I'm guessing it means something very different in English?
Cordelia: Well, we'll have to use it. The baby needs to see a doctor.
Angel: What? He's not sick! Does he look sick?
Cordelia (reading a baby book) No. But he needs his newborn checkup. The baby book says that he's supposed to have a vitamin K shot and a PKU test after he's born. Uh - are you gonna circumcise?
(The baby starts screaming louder.)
Gunn: I think he heard you.
Lorne: Speaking of hearing things - are there any fluorescent lights in here? I keep hearing this hum. Plus, fluorescent - green light, green skin - it's all bad. - I'll take the blank stares as a big fat no.
(Angel is looking at the weapons cabinet.)
Angel: Gunn?
Gunn: Yeah.
Angel: I'm in a war here. I'm gonna need some serious firepower.
Gunn: You mean something beyond swords and spears?
Angel: Way beyond.
Gunn: I know some guys. Leave it to me.
Angel: Thanks. (To Fred) We get into the websites?
Fred: Not yet. Normally all we would have to do is hack into the e-mail and track the relays but - they're using re-mailers.
Angel: (looks at them) Which means?
Cordelia: Which means there is no direct id, it's going to take a little time...
Angel: We don't have a little time. Are those all the names up there on the board?
Wesley: Working on some other leads. We all want the same thing, Angel. We're doing the best we can.
Angel: (looking down at the baby) Do better.
Wesley: Angel!
Angel: I promised his mother. No one is gonna put their hands on this child. No one.
(Angel turns to walk up the stairs.)
(Wolfram & Hart)
(Linwood watches Angel carry the child upstairs on the monitor.)
Linwood: No one is going to put their hands on this child. Is this meant to be ironic? According to our highly - and I'm now thinking, somewhat overpaid translators, the Nyazian Scroll said the child would never be born. And yet - here he is.
Gavin: It was a technicality, sir. Darla died during childbirth.
Lilah: Dusted during childbirth is more like it. According to our sources she staked herself, leaving the baby alive and kicking but never actually born. MacDuff was from his mother's womb untimely ripped.
Linwood: Clever loophole. We could use some of those Nyazian Scroll writers in Contracts and Negotiations.
Gavin: We have to get that baby.
Lilah: He has a knack for stating the obvious, sir.
Gavin: I also have an intercept team working on tactical scenarios as we speak. I'm sure Lilah would have thought of that - given time.
Linwood: Moving on - children. (Picks up a photo of Holtz) I want everything there is on this character. He slaughtered some of our best-trained men. He's gonna be a problem.
Lilah: We're locating him, sir.
Linwood: Preferably before he locates us. (Walks towards the screen as we can hear the baby gurgle) That's a cute little baby. Yes, you are. And your daddy is a vampire with a soul. And sometimes he reverts to a creature of pure, malevolent evil, who could rip your tiny throat out. Yes, he does. (Chuckles) I like kids. The Senior Partners took mine before I really got to know them. Turn it up. (Lilah pushes a button on the remote and the room fills with a baby's cries.) Turn it down.
(Lilah does as Linwood walks out.)
(Hyperion – Angel’s Room)
(Angel is trying to distract the baby from crying with the teddy bear.)
Angel: Teddy isn't crying. Do you see Teddy cry? Teddy isn't crying. Do you see Teddy crying? No, Teddy isn't crying. (The baby cries and Angel leans his head into the Teddy with a sigh.) Come on, kid, you gotta give me something here. Alright. Last ditch effort. (Angel takes a deep breath, clears his throat and begins to sing.) Toora-loora-loora, toora-loora-lay...(Lorne walks into the room behind Angel.) Toora-loora-loora, that's an Irish lullaby... (Angel breaks off, leaning his head against the side of the cradle in defeat as the crying never even slows.)
Lorne: Here let me give it a try. (Sings) Ooh, ooh, baby, baby. Ooh, ooh, baby, baby. Mistakes I know I made a few, but I'm only human. You'll make mistakes, too. And I'm crying... (Stops singing) He doesn't like Smokey Robinson and the Miracles? I thought you said this kid had a soul.
Angel: (leans down over the cradle) You know what, you're fed, you're changed. I hold you, you cry. I put you down, you cry. What do you want me to do here? (The baby cries.) I'm a terrible father. (Picks up the baby) I can't even get him to stop crying.
Lorne: Yeah, well, it's getting a little tense - your vibe, that is.
Angel: My vibe? What vibe?
Lorne: Oh, just the incredibly anxious one that's been coming of you in waves ever since he was born. He's deeply connected to you. If you're wound this tight, how do you think he's gonna feel?
Angel: Hey, he's not even a day old and he's got an enemies list. How would you feel? Wouldn't you be a little edgy?
Lorne: Yeah. I'd also be in awe. Look at him. (Angel looks down at the screaming baby in his arms.) He's more than a mission, bro. *Look* at him. Look at him.
(Lorne turns and walks out of the room as Angel keeps looking at the baby, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Angel sits down in a chair.)
Angel: It's all right. It's gonna be alright. It's gonna be all right. (The baby continues to scream.) Hey. Shh.
(He makes a face and silly noises.) Do you like that? (The baby continues to scream.) Well, obviously. Okay. How about this one? (He pulls on his ears, makes another face and silly noises. The baby continues to scream.) Okay. I only got one more in me. (He sighs and morphs into vamp-face. The baby looks up at him, stops crying and after a moment its eyes start drooping. A big smile spreads over Angel's face.) Yeah, that's my little guy! You like that, don't you? A bootchee-wootchee...
(Wolfram & Hart)
(Lilah walks into a room in the basement filled with file cabinets and presents herself to the woman sitting behind a desk.)
Lilah: Lilah Morgan, clearance oh -one-one-two-seven-seven-three.
(The woman enters it in her laptop then sits back and looks up at Lilah.)
Woman: There you are. What can I do for you, Miss Morgan?
Lilah: I want everything the firm has on Angel, the whole case file. His life history, un-life history, intercept records, victim lists, transfers and accounts, everything. I'm looking for someone he crossed paths with probably a hundred years ago or more. And make it fast. The boys upstairs are at defcon like - a thousand.
Woman: (smiles) Sure thing, Miss Morgan. Just a sec.
(She turns around and pulls a thick ring binder from the shelf behind her and drops it on the table.)
Lilah: Everything is in there.
Woman: Right down to the baby that wasn't supposed to be born.
Lilah: How do you know about that?
Woman: I'm Files and Records. It's my job.
Lilah: Great. (Hefts the file and turns to go) I'll be back when I'm...
Woman: Ah, Miss Morgan, there aren't any documents in there, you know. That's just the reference key to the full file.
Lilah: The reference key. So - where is the full file?
(The woman flips a switch and a whole section of file cabinets is illuminated.)
Woman: The key is only helpful in locating which section of the file you'd like to look at.
Lilah: (sighs) That *whole* thing is Angel's file.
Woman: Just the first thirty five cabinets.
Lilah: Right. (Drops the book back on the desk) Does China Palace deliver down here?
(Street)
(Holtz is waiting behind a chain-link fence. He pulls out a paper with an obituary for a young girl named Julia Cooper. A door in the building on the other side of the fence with a sign "No Parking. Bar deliveries only" opens. A girl looking exactly like the picture on the obituary walks out, squinting at the bright sunlight. She lights a cigarette and walks off. Holtz follows after her. He turns a corner to see a barely smoked cigarette lying on the ground. He raises his hand to catch the girl's fist as she swings at him.)
Holtz: Your punch could have been quicker - without so much to drink.
Justine: It's kind of a trade-off, because without that much to drink (head-butts Holtz) hurts a lot more.
(Holtz tosses her against a nearby, parked car.)
Holtz: You stick to the shadows.
Justine: I'm not much of a day person.
(The girl takes a hold of a wood 2x4 lying on the ground next to her as she picks herself back up.)
Holtz: I'm not here to fight.
Justine: Your bad luck.
(She swings at Holtz, but he easily evades her attack, and pushes her up against the wall of the building, his hand around her throat.)
Holtz: I know you're in pain. I know what it's like to grieve.
(Holtz lets go of her. She lifts up a finger and taps him on the chin.)
Justine: Nice goatee. Kind of rounds out the whole creepy stalker look. I'll be moving on now. (She turns to go.)
Holtz: Justine. (She turns back to face him) I'm not finished.
Justine: You know my name?
Holtz: I know everything. You know at seventeen twenty two Spaulding. You stay out all night. Sleep all day. Ever since your sister was murdered six months ago. (Unfolds the printout of the obituary and hands it to her.) Your twin. - It wasn't a mugging like the paper said, was it? Major blood loss, two unidentifiable neck wounds.
Justine: So?
Holtz: My name is Holtz. I want to help you.
Justine: I'll tell you what I want. (Gets right into Holtz face) I want you to stay the hell away from me.
(Holtz watches as Justine walks off.)
(Hyperion – Lobby – Day)
(Fred is hunched over the laptop as Cordelia brings over two cups and sets one down beside her.)
Fred: Thanks. (She looks up and sees Angel coming down the stairs carrying his son.) Oh-oh, we still haven't traced the websites.
Cordelia: (pats her on the back) Relax. (She walks over to meet Angel.) Get any sleep?
(Angel never takes his eyes off the baby.)
Angel: Nah, I was up all night watching him.
Cordelia: You know, if you'd let us take shifts we could...
Angel: No, I wasn't watching him like that - I was just - watching him. (Cordy smiles) He - looks a little bit like me, don't you think?
Cordelia: Oh, yeah. Look at that brow. He's a miniature you. Why don't you hand him over for a while, catch some shut eye.
Angel: No. I'll sleep - when I know he's safe.
Cordelia: Which will be when? Around never? Angel, I understand you wanna protect him - but you gotta let go a little. Share part of the responsibility. You can't be everything for him.
Angel: I'm his only family. My job now is to be everything for him.
Cordelia: Really? - Okay. Follow me. Come on.
(She takes a hold of Angel's elbow and leads him towards the garden court. Angel never even looks up from the baby.)
Angel: Where are we going?
Cordelia: Come on.
(She leads him out of the Hyperion. Angel stops before they leave the shadows of the building.)
Angel: Cordelia...
Cordelia: We're going outside, where your son is gonna wanna go play. Where you have to rush him to the hospital if he gets sick in the daytime. But I see your point. You can't go outside during the day like other parents because - you're a vampire. And even if you weren't - you can't do everything for him.
(Angel, looking down at the baby, stretches one hand out into the sunlight.)
Angel: If he has to get to the hospital at noon (Smoke starts to rise from his hand) on the sunniest day of the year, he'll get there (Looks at Cordelia, his hand still smoldering in the sunlight) even if I don't.
Cordelia: Angel, (Pushes his hand down into the shadow) stop, Angel...
(Angel turns away and walks back into the Hyperion. Lorne comes down the steps.)
Lorne: Good morning all. (Sniffs) Is that bacon I smell or did somebody fall asleep with the curtains open? (Drapes one arm over Angel's shoulder as he looks down at the baby.) You got to figure a guy like you, a place like this, the only truly safe room would be the janitor's closet.
(Angel looks down at his shirt pocket then walks away from Lorne.)
Angel: Thanks for the tip.
Fred: Were you able to sleep, Lorne, or did you still hear that humming?
Lorne: Oh, I got some earplugs. Put them in and slept like a baby. Cried and wet the bed all night. (He is the only one laughing) Tough room.
(Gunn walks in.)
Gunn: Mission accomplished. (Drops a duffel on a chair and unzips it.) You said you wanted fire power, so...
Angel: (looks into the open bag) Good work.
Gunn: Also we got company out front.
Angel: Did they see you?
Gunn: Nah. I saw them, kept on going, doubled back and came in through the sewer.
Angel: Who are they?
Gunn: Well, two blacked out cars of what I'm betting is more vampire cult. And a biker gang I recognize from back in the day.
Angel: Humans?
Gunn: Yeah. Into extortion and kidnapping. There are also some funky fellows in a van I didn't recognize, wearing hooded cloaks.
Wesley: (joining them) Lilliad demons. Their fun is making a magical broth from the bones of human children (To Cordelia who is about to add them to the white board.) That's two 'L's' in the middle. They probably want to find out how the child born of a vampire effects the recipe. They use strong magic. They may be able to break the furies spell.
Angel: What are they waiting for?
Wesley: Night. Their power is linked directly to the lunar cycle.
Cordelia: So, we're safe for now, but when the moon rises...
Fred: And tonight's a full moon.
Gunn: No matter what kind of weapons we have, we're not gonna be able to fight off the whole world, once that force field comes down.
Wesley: I don't see that we have a choice.
(Wolfram & Hart)
(Lilah is sitting cross legged on the floor of the File room, surrounded by papers and files.)
Lilah: This is impossible. Two hundred seventy five years of the most inane... (Picks up a paper and looks at it) What kind of wussy name is Liam anyway? Okay. You're at the hotel. The pirate is about to kill Angel. Angel calls him - what? What was it? Hose. Hope.
Woman: Holtz?
Lilah: What?
Woman: Holtz, Daniel, vampire killer, circa seventeen fifty four. He hunted Angel and Darla halfway around the world until his mysterious disappearance in seventeen seventy three. Larson McMillian Vampiricus Conquestus page four twelve.
Lilah: How did you...
Woman: I'm files and records. It's my job.
Lilah: (gets up) You mean I've been sitting here for the last fourteen hours...
Woman: Ah-hmm.
Lilah: To find that you know everything that's in this case file.
Woman: No, Miss Morgan.
Lilah: Oh.
Woman: I know everything in every case file. I'm Files and Records, it's my...
Lilah: ...your job. Unbelievable. (Sits down on the edge of the woman's desk) So what's the skinny on Holtz then? Why the big hate-on for Angel?
Woman: Just a moment. (She sits back and her eyes flicker while we hear a rattling sound.) Seventeen sixty-four. Angel and Darla kill Holtz, Caroline, Holtz, Sarah, and Holtz, Daniel infant son.
Lilah: Massacred his family. That'll do it.
Woman: Holtz vows to revenge their blood, May seventeen sixty-four. Pursues Angel and Darla relentlessly for nine years, racking up an incidental body count of three hundred seventy-eight vampires in the meantime.
Lilah: So what we're dealing with is a single minded vengeance machine with a bloodlust to match. That's just - awesome.
(L.A. Cemetery – Night)
(Justine is fighting against a vampire as Holtz watches from the shadows beneath a tree. The vampire kicks Justine in Holtz direction and he catches her before she falls.)
Justine: What the hell are you doing here?
Holtz: Watching you fight.
(Holtz pushes her away and Justine resumes her fight. She raises a stake, but the vampire knocks it out of her hand and her to the ground. The vampire is about to sink its teeth into her neck when it disappears in a cloud of dust revealing Holtz, holding a stake. Holtz holds out his hand and helps Justine back to her feet.)
Justine: Why did you wait so long?
Holtz: I wanted to see if you could win.
Justine: Always. I would have kicked his ass if you hadn't distracted me.
Holtz: Hmm. I wasn't your problem.
Justine: Really?
Holtz: You fight well and lack strategy. Your passion works against you.
Justine: And you're here to teach me about passion.
Holtz: I'm here to teach you how to fight.
Justine: What's in it for you?
Holtz: You help me kill a vampire.
Justine: You don't need me for that.
Holtz: I do. This vampire is strong.
Justine: What are we talking about. Some kind of Karate Kid Mr. Miyagi groove thing? Wax on, wax off.
Holtz: You'll find your references to modern popular culture tend to be lost on me.
Justine: What a shocker.
Holtz: But I know you're interested in more that the trivial. Your life has been ruined. You can't sleep. Instead you wander the streets, making others pay for what happened to your sister. That's where I can help. I see your talent. And I see your hate. And I know that I can shape and hone you into an instrument of vengeance.
Justine: Sounds like fun.
Holtz: It won't be.
(He turns and walks off. After a beat Justine follows, looking back once over her shoulder.)
(Hyperion)
(Figures in purple hooded cloaks are chanting in front of the hotel. Gunn turns away from the first story window and walks over to the stairs leading down into the lobby.)
Gunn: Guys, the Lilliad demons are starting their mojo on the force field. (He resumes his post at the window as Wesley and Fred pick up crossbows. He sees a car pull up and men jump out.) Ah, right, sun's down, vamps can come out, too. Wait, they're headed towards the bikers.
Fred: What are they doing?
Gunn: (walking down the stairs) They, ah, having a brawl over who gets to kill us first.
Wesley: We have to hold our ground.
Cordelia: What if we can't?
Wesley: If we're forced to fall back we'll do so towards the cellar. We can make a retreat through the sewer.
(He picks up a flame-thrower. Angel is standing on the stairs, holding the baby in his arms.)
Angel: This isn't going to work.
Wesley: I checked it. It's primed and ready.
Angel: Not the weapon, the plan.
Lorne: I'm so glad somebody finally said that, because sitting here waiting to die never was much of a plan. Sorry. So, what kind of genius idea you got hidden up that well tailored sleeve of yours, huh?
Angel: Plan is I go. Take the baby somewhere safe.
Cordelia: What?
Angel: He was born in a siege, he's not gonna die in one.
Wesley: But if you stay and help us fight... You said it yourself: we're in a war.
(Angel is putting stuff into a bag.)
Angel: And now I'm in a retreat.
Wesley: What happened to taking them out?
Angel: There's too many of them. I can get out through the sewers. With any luck I'll get a couple miles before anyone notices that I'm gone.
Cordelia: So you're just gonna leave? Run away?
Gunn: Why not? That's what he's good at. Sure you don't wanna fire us first? A little icing on the cake while you leave us here to do the fighting?
Lorne: I thought we already established this as a bad, bad idea.
Angel: No, you're gonna be all right. Once they break the spell and storm the place they'll realize that the baby's gone and they'll go after me. Wesley, stall them if you can.
(Cordelia steps into his path as Angel shoulders the bag and heads for the basement doors.)
Cordelia: I'm sure tripping over our dead bodies will slow them down. You really didn't hear anything I said to you earlier, did you?
(Angel looks down at the baby in his arm then walks past Cordelia.)
Angel: I heard you.
Fred: Angel! Don't leave us.
(Angel hurries on without even looking back.)
(Wolfram & Hart)
(Gavin and Linwood are watching Angel head down into the cellar.)
Gavin: He's running away.
Linwood: He's sneaking away. And giving us the chance to get the jump on everyone.
Gavin: (into radio) Alpha team he's heading into the sewers.
Radio: Copy that.
Linwood: Today the world is different. A vampire has sacrificed herself for her baby. Do you know what that means?
Lilah: That there's something good about the kid?
Linwood: This child can grow up, and hunt each and everyone of us down. Let's not let that happen, shall we?
Gavin: No, sir. We'll find the baby by sunrise, dead or alive.
Lilah: Are you crazy?
Gavin: What? Is Lilah worried we're gonna hurt the itty biddy baby?
Lilah: No. I'm afraid you'll kill him before we have a chance to cut him open while he's still breathing and find out how the hell he's alive in the first place.
(Linwood turns to looks at Lilah and gives her a slight smile.)
(Sewers)
(Angel is walking through the sewers with the baby.)
(Street)
(Two hum-vees pull up along the curb of a street.)
Lilah: (on radio) Alpha team, where are you? Over.
Guy: We're here.
(Hyperion)
(The chanting demons bring down the fore field and run for the hotel. Wesley and Gunn stand up and face the doors. Gunn is jumping in place to loosen his muscles. Looks over at Wesley.)
Gunn: What are you doing?
Wesley: Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?
Gunn: Austin Stoker, Assault on Precinct Thirteen.
(They slap their hands together, Cordelia walks past them holding her weapon at the ready.)
Cordelia: If we live through this, trade in your DVD Players and get a life.
(Before the Lilliad demons reach the door they are intercepted by the biker gang and the vampires and general fighting breaks out.)
(Sewers)
(Angel climbs up a ladder in the sewers. He pushes the round metal lid covering the manhole aside and comes up in the street beside his parked car. He glances around the street and gets into the car.
A man in one of the Hum-vees watches him through night-vision binoculars.)
Guy: (on radio) Got him.
(Angel's car pulls out into the road.)
Man: (lowering the binoculars) Have a visual. Let's go.
(The Hum-vees follow Angel's car.)
(Hyperion)
(Two demons and men break free from the fight at the front doors of the Hyperion and walk inside. The Demons take down their hoods.)
Lilliad: Where is the child?
Wesley: Upstairs, room three-one-two, why don't you go and get him? Oh, wait. I have a better idea.
(He aims the flame-thrower and fires. We hear screams as flames wipe the screen.)
(Garden)
(Outside the fight continues. A vampire looks up from the fighting as Angel's car drives by. He knocks down another opponent, then sees the Hum-vees in pursuit. The vampire hurries inside the hotel.)
(Lobby)
Vampire: Master, it's a trick! He's taken the child.
(The vampire looks down at the charred and still smoking remains of a Lilliad demon. Looks at Wesley who gives him a shrug before torching him with a burst of flame. Outside the remaining fighters hurry to their vehicles to pursue Angel.)
Cordelia: (lowers her weapon) Now they're all after him.
Wesley: Hopefully we stalled them long enough.
Gunn: (sits down) Whatever. Running away was his call.
(Street)
(Angel's car fishtails around a corner, the Hum-vees, the bikers, the cars of the vampire cult and the van of the Lilliad demons in hot pursuit. A Hum-vee pulls out of another street to cut him off and Angel wrenches the car aside to turn into another street.)
(Highway Outside L.A.)
(Angel is driving through a tunnel, down a highway and past a sign reading Lancaster 16 and Mojave Dessert 42. Angel checks on his pursuers in the side mirror. Looks down at the baby he is holding with his left arm.)
Angel: We'll get through this, I promise. The vampire/demon/biker posse, that's the easy part. (the Hum-vee following rams his car from behind) The part that scares me - is all the questions. Why is the sky blue? Why do people get sick? Why is there always pigs' blood in the fridge? I don't have all the answers. Well, I do to that last one. (The Hum-vee rams him again. They drive by a 'Danger Abandoned Mine No Trespassing' sign.) Here we go.
(He suddenly turns the car and drives through a latched wooden gate.)
Man: (in Hum-vee) He's breaking left.
(Angel drives past an abandoned shack and through the boards closing off the entrance of the mine. Outside the other vehicles pull up in front of the mine entrance. Angel descends into the main mine shaft. Outside the three parties resume their fight against each other even as they all make their way towards the entrance of the mine.)
(Mine)
(Angel comes up against a tunnel entrance nailed shut with boards. As the first pursuers descend into the pit of the main shaft, he runs over to another tunnel mouth and finds it blocked by and iron grate. He turns to face his pursuers. Looks down at the baby in his arms.)
Angel: Could be worse. At least you're not crying.
(Angel looks around and grabs a hold of a rope trailing down from the ceiling.)
Lilliad: Give us the baby!
Angel: You want the baby? You can have the baby.
(Angel tosses the wrapped baby in a high arc into the middle of his enemies. They all scramble for it, while Angel quickly rides the rope up to the top of the shaft. One of the vampires has a hold of the baby and unwraps the blanket to get a look at it.)
(Outside)
(Angel's car backs out of the mine shaft, makes a screeching U-turn and speeds away.)
(Mine)
(The vampire stares down at teddy bear, a bomb with the timer almost to zero strapped to it's chest.)
Man: What is it?
Vampire: It's a...
(A fireball rolls out of the mineshaft, its fire casting a red glow over the taillights of Angel's escaping car.)
(L.A. Hospital – Waiting Area)
(Wesley and Fred get up from a couch as a doctor enters. Cordelia, standing beside the couch turns around and we see that she is holding the baby.)
Nurse: Ah, sorry for the wait. Let's go.
(The three of them follow the doctor through a set of doors.)
(Wolfram & Hart)
(Linwood is re-watching the encounter between Lorne and Angel that morning.)
Lorne: (on screen) Ah, good morning all. Is that bacon I smell or did somebody fall asleep with the curtains open? You got to figure, a guy like you, a place like this the only truly safe...
Linwood: Back it up.
(The video backs up then begins to play again.)
Lorne: (on screen) ...fall asleep with the curtains open. You got to figure, a guy like you...
Linwood: Stop it right there! (Tape stops) Magnify one hundred times. (Picture zooms in) Again. (The whole screen is now filled with Lorne's hand slipping a half-concealed piece of paper into the breast pocket of Angel's shirt.) There. That is when he gives Angel the note.
Lorne: (on screen) The only truly safe room would be the janitor's closet.
Angel: (on screen) Thanks for the tip.
Linwood: And tells him where to read it. The janitor's closet, where we don't have surveillance.
Lilah: (to Gavin) That green houseguest could hear the hum of your transmit frequency. What are the odds?
Linwood: All that Sturm and Drang about Angel running out on them? Just a performance.
Lilah: He did a good job. Who knew Angel had the acting chops?
Gavin: Are you kidding? It was one note. Felt forced.
Lilah: Funny. You bought it at the time.
Linwood: It worked - for us. Angel's little trick thinned the herd. And what about Holtz?
Gavin: No reports yet that he was among Angel's pursuers.
Linwood: I was hoping he'd be among the casualties. What do we know about him?
Lilah: (opens a folder) He is a vampire hunter. Angel killed his family and he spent the rest of his life seeking revenge. Oh, and one more thing, this all happened two hundred years ago.
Linwood: I thought Holtz was human.
Lilah: He is.
Linwood: A time traveler.
Gavin: His arrival was foretold in the Nyazian Scrolls. He is a player.
Linwood: Yeah. He's a cog in the machine, and aren't we all. What do you suppose it is that he wants?
Lilah: You mean other than to tear out Angel's heart and wearing it as a broach?
Linwood: We need more information. How he got he, who he works with, where he lives. It's only a matter of time before our needs and his come into conflict. (An alarm sounds) Maybe sooner than we think.
(Angel walks into the office, walks up to Linwood, slices him across the cheek, and pushes him facedown against the table.)
Angel: My son has a tiny scratch on his cheek, and now, by extraordinary coincidence so do you. I'm holding you personally responsible for *anything* that happens to him whether it's your fault or not. Cold, sunburn, scratched knee, what ever happens to him, happens to you, and then some. (He pulls Linwood back up, pushes him back into his chair and leans over him.) For not only are you not coming after him, you gonna make sure that he lives a long, healthy life. You just became his godfather, understand?
Linwood: I believe I do.
(Guards come in, in response to the alarm.)
Guard: Sir?
Linwood: It's all right.
(Angel starts to leave but turns back around before he reaches the door.)
Angel: Oh, and one more thing: College fund? Start saving. I got my heart set on Notre Dame.
(Angel leaves and Linwood pulls himself back upright in his chair. Lilah pulls the handkerchief out of Gavin breast pocket and goes to dab at the scratch on Linwood's cheek. Linwood grabs the cloth from her and throws it down.)
(L.A. Hospital)
(The doctor and a nurse carrying the baby come back out into the waiting room.)
Doctor: I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.
Cordelia: Oh, great. But I'm not the mother.
Doctor: Oh, I'm sorry. (turns to Fred) I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.
Fred: Oh. Me neither.
Wesley: I'm afraid the mother is, ah, no longer in the picture.
Doctor: I see. Well, his height and weight are in the ninety percentile. We gave him his vitamin K and his PKU and he's doing very well. We don't seem to have his - what's his name?
(Cordelia and Wesley look at each other.)
Angel: (walking in) Connor. His name is Connor.
Doctor: Connor. Thank you. Mr. (looks at the papers) Angel. (the nurse hands the baby to Angel) And congratulations.
Angel: Thanks. (The Doctor and the nurse leave, as Angel smiles down at Connor.) Hey... (Looks up) Mr. Angel?
Fred: Your first name is Geraldo.
Cordelia: We had to tell them something.
Fred: Geraldo Angel. You’re a pet psychiatrist with a small practice in Pacoima. Oh, and you fight crime- We just told them the name part. The rest is me, having fun.
Angel: I don't know what to say.
Cordelia: How about thanks. I appreciate it. You guys rock. Way to go?
Angel: (looks up from Connor's face) What she said.
(The double doors behind them open and Gunn comes in pushing an empty stroller.)
Gunn: Got the best one a very small amount of money could buy.
(They all 'ah.' Angel hands Connor over to Cordelia who puts him in the stroller.)
Cordelia: Hey, you wanna go for a ride? Oh, goodness...
Wesley: Connor. That's a lovely name. I don't suppose you ever considered Wes...
Angel, Gunn and Cordelia: No.
Fred: Not to be negative or anything, but - we're okay, right? Nobody else is coming after Connor or us?
Angel: No. We're safe for the time being. Let's go home. Nice stroller.
Gunn: Thank you.
(They walk out together, Fred and Gunn on the left, Cordelia and Wesley on the right, and Angel, pushing the stroller in the middle.)
Season Three Guide