Fear, Itself
(Xander’s Basement – Night)
(Xander, Buffy, Willow, and Oz are carving pumpkins. Xander’s holding a carving knife.)
Xander: I don’t know, I was going for ferocious, scary, but it’s coming out more dryly sardonic.
Willow: It does appear to be mocking you with its eye holes.
Oz: The nose hole seems sad and full of self-loathing.
(Xander turns the jack-o-lantern around to show to Buffy who’s laying on his bed.)
Xander: What do you think, Buff?
Buffy: I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun - happily entwined with others, then someone comes along, cuts you open and - rips your guts out.
Xander: Okay, and on that happy note, I’ve got a treat for tomorrow nights second annual Halloween screening. People - prepare to have your spines tingled, your gooses bumped by the terrifying… (Pulls out a video and reads the title) Fantasia. Fantasia?
Oz: Maybe it’s because of all the - horrific things we’ve seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to.
Xander: Phantasm. It was supposed to be Phantasm. Stupid video store!
Willow: I thought we were doing the alph delt thing.
Xander: What thing??
Buffy: The scary house? Sounds kinda lame.
Oz: It actually borders on fun. You have to go through the scary house maze to get to the party. Which is usually worth getting to. Those guys go all out.
Willow: As witnessed last Friday.
Oz: Very true.
Xander: There is a party?
Willow: We didn’t tell you?
Xander: No, it’s cool. You guys got your little college thing. I’m fine. I mean, I got better things to do than tag along to some Fraternity.
Willow: You can come.
Xander: Okay. But only because I lied about having better things to do.
Oz: A blast will be had by all.
Buffy: (gets up) I’m gonna get going.
Xander: Now? Tonight’s still... (Looks at his watch) okay, it’s a little mature, but still.
Buffy: I’m sleepy. You guys have fun.
Willow: You want me to come with?
Buffy: No I’m fine.
(She leaves. Xander shakes his head.)
Xander: Sad Buffy.
Willow: She didn’t even touch her pumpkin. It’s a freak with no face.
Oz: She’s still suffering a little post-Parker depression.
Xander: Bailing on the Buff. Does anyone else want to smack that guy?
(All three raise their hands.)
(Street)
(Buffy walks down the street alone. A demon jumps out at her screaming and she hits it in the face knocking it down. It pulls of its mask to reveal a young kid.)
Kid: Jeez, that hurt! What the hell is wrong with you, lady?
(He gets up and walks away.)
Buffy: That’s what I’d like to know.
(UC Sunnydale – Cafeteria)
(Willow and Buffy walk in, and proceed to get in line to buy food.)
Willow: I’ve got the basics down levitation, charms, glamours. I just feel like I’ve plateaued wicca-wise.
Buffy: What’s the next level?
Willow: Transmutation, conjuring, bringing forth something from nothing. Gets pretty close to the primal forces. A little scary.
Buffy: Well, no one’s pushing. You know, if it’s too much don’t do it.
Willow: Don’t do it? What kind of encouragement is that?
Buffy: This is an encouragement talk? I thought it was share my pain.
Willow: I don’t know. Then again, what is college for if not experimenting? You know, maybe I can handle it. I’ll know when I’ve reached my limit.
(Oz comes up to them.)
Oz: Wine coolers?
Buffy: Magic.
Oz: Ooh, you didn’t encourage her, did you?
Willow: Where is supportive boyfriend guy?
Oz: He’s picking up your dry cleaning, but he told me to tell you that he’s afraid you’re gonna get hurt.
Willow: (smiles) Okay, Brutus. (Oz just looks at her.) Brutus Caesar? (Willow looks form Oz to Buffy.) Betrayal? Trusted friend? (Makes stabbing motions with her banana.) Back stabby??
Oz: Oh, I’m with you on the reference, but I won’t lie about the fact that I worry. I know what it’s like to have power you can’t control. I mean, every time I start to wolf out I touch something deep, dark. It’s not fun. But just know that whatever you decide, I back your play.
Buffy: See? Concerned boy, sweet boy.
Willow: I kinda like him - worrying anyway.
(We hear laughter and Buffy looks over to see Parker sitting at a table laughing with his friends.)
Buffy: You know I, um, I forgot to (puts her food down and turns to leave) be hungry.
(Willow hands her food to Oz and runs after her.)
Willow: Wait, Buffy.
(Hallway)
Willow: Buffy. Don’t let jerky Parker chase you away.
Buffy: He didn’t. I just don’t want to deal with this right now. I’m taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of not coping.
Willow: You know what, you’ll feel better at the party tonight. Maybe you’ll even meet someone.
Buffy: Willow, I don’t want to meet someone. I’ve reached my quota on someones. Besides, I think I’m gonna have to patrol anyway.
Willow: Tonight, but it’s Halloween!
Buffy: I’ll double check with Giles, but I’m sure he’s going to think I should be on active Slayer duty. He doesn’t care about Halloween.
(Giles’ Apartment)
(Giles opens his door dressed up like a Mexican (complete with sombrero) holding a big bowl of candy.)
Giles: Happy Hallow - Hello, Buffy.
Buffy: (stares) Oh my God.
Giles: It’s a sombrero.
Buffy: And it’s on your head.
Giles: It seemed festive. Um, come in. (Buffy comes in.) Candy?
(Buffy looks around at the decorations.)
Buffy: What’s going on here? You hate Halloween.
Giles: I never said any such a thing. As my Watcher’s duties took precedence, I simply haven’t taken time to well, to embrace its inherent charms until now. (Turns on a Frankenstein puppet hanging from the ceiling.) Look, look! (Laughs) It’s alive! (Buffy just stares at him.) See how he shakes? - Is there something you wanted?
Buffy: I was thinking that I should patrol tonight. You know, possibly the cemetery or if you had a better su... (Stares distractedly at the fringe dangling from the edge of his sombrero.) Could you please take that off??
(Giles sets down the bowl of candy.)
Giles: Oh, yes, of course. (Takes the hat off) I see, is there some specific danger you were sensing?
Buffy: No. But then you know we were all caught of guard when Ethan turned everyone into their costumes.
Giles: True, but what happened then was anomalous. Creatures of the night shy away form Halloween. They find it all much too crass.
Buffy: Hard to believe.
Giles: Well, I-I promise you - there is little likelihood of any supernatural activity tonight. (Holds up the bowl of candy.) You sure you don’t want one?
(UC Sunnydale – Alpha Delta Fraternity House)
(They are decorating the haunted house. A guy walks down the hallway and a plastic skeleton with a knife in its hand swings out in front of him, making him jump. 1.Guy laughs and holds up a bag to the guy standing next to the skeleton.)
Guy1: I come bearing spiders.
Guy2: The sound system is not going to cut it. Nothing but lame.
Guy1: You want me to call Oz? He can probably hook us up.
Guy2: Do it. If we not scare the young women, they will not fall into our arms. – We’ll have woman-less arms. Halloween isn’t about thrills, chills and funny costumes, it’s about getting laid.
Guy1: Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?
Guy2: Arbor Day. Call Oz, dude.
Guy1: Done. And oh, you wanted a symbol to paint upstairs, something mystical? (Holds up a book with a pentagram in it.) Check this out.
(Xander’s Basement)
(Xander’s putting on a jacket in his basement, he turns and there is Anya standing on the stairs.)
Xander: Anya? You really have to get this knocking thing down. - How did you...
Anya: Your uncle Rory let me in. Does he always smell like peppermint?
Xander: The man likes his schnapps. What are you doing here?
Anya: You haven’t called. Not once.
Xander: You said you were over me.
Anya: And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’ss what you wanted to hear.
Xander: That’s the funny thing about me, I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.
Anya: That’s stupid.
Xander: I accept that. - I can’t say seeing you falls into the realm of a bad thing.
Anya: (smiles) Really? - I thought - maybe we could go out tonight, for our anniversary.
Xander: Anniversary?
Anya: It’s been exactly one week since we copulated. Did you forget?
Xander: Oh, no, of course not. It’s just I already have plans with Buffy, Willow and Oz. It’s Halloween, you know.
Anya: I don’t understand.
Xander: Well, every October 31st, we mortals dress up in masks...
Anya: No, no, I understand that inane ritual. It’s those people. You continue to associate with them though you share little in common.
Xander: What are you talking about?
Anya: I mean they go to college, you don’t. They no longer live at home, - you do.
Xander: Oh, hey, those things... The bonds of true friendship transcends... Could we just change the subject?
Anya: Okay, okay. Don’t get upset with me. I just wondered.
Xander: If you want you can come with me tonight to this party.
Anya: You mean like a date? - Is that what this is? (Xander swallows) Are we dating?
Xander: There are definitely date-like qualities at work here. Oh, you’ll need a costume.
Anya: A costume?
Xander: Dress up, you know, something - scary.
Anya: Scary. Scary how?
Xander: Anya, you ex-demon, terrorized mankind for centuries. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
(UC Sunnydale – Prof. Walsh’s Classroom)
(Buffy walks up to Prof. Walsh and Riley as they get ready to leave.)
Buffy: Excuse me, Professor Walsh? I came to get today’s assignments. I, uh, couldn’t make it to class for personal reasons.
Walsh: Right. I count four limbs, a head no visible scarring, so I assume your personal issue wasn’t a life threatening accident of any kind, I’m therefore uninterested. You got problems, solve them on your own time. Miss another class and you’re out.
(Prof. Walsh walks past Buffy.)
Riley: She means it, you know.
Buffy: Yeah. I got the impression she wasn’t saying it to make me laugh.
Riley: You’ve got to be aware your work’s taken a little down turn lately. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen your hand up.
Buffy: Does stretching count?
Riley: Look, things get pretty intense Freshmen year, - as I dimly recall. Too much fun or not enough?
Buffy: (beat) Both actually.
(Riley hands her the assignments.)
Riley: Yeah, well, you just got to keep your priorities. Prof. Walsh is worth your time.
Buffy: Thanks, I’ll get this done tonight.
Riley: Tonight. It’s Halloween! What, your not going to dress up and go party?
Buffy: I have a lot of work to do.
Riley: I may be out of line here, and it’s not really my business, but - you seem like the kind of person that makes things really hard on themselves. Halloween isn’t a night for responsibility. It’s when the ghosts and goblins come out.
Buffy: That’s actually a misnomer.
Riley: Well, I didn’t mean real ones. (Buffy smiles and looks down.) But, hey, there is some good scary fun to be had on campus tonight.
Buffy: Yeah? What are you doing?
Riley: Well, I’m going to sit here and grade papers.
Buffy: (turns to go) Scary.
Riley: Very.
Buffy: Well, thanks for the pep talk, coach.
Riley: Don’t make fun. I worked long and hard to get this pompous.
Buffy: No, I mean it.
Riley: (beat) You’re welcome.
(Buffy smiles and walks out while Riley looks after her.)
(Alpha Delta Fraternity – Attic)
(A guy is painting the symbol from the book onto the floor. Oz and Xander carry in a speaker.)
Guy3: Okay, watch your step, boys. Paint’s still wet in a few spots.
Guy2: Thanks for the loan, man. Our sound system sucks.
Oz: Mi casio es su casio.
Xander: (points at the pentagram) Well, that’s an interesting little design. What does it mean?
Guy3: No - clue. I got it out of this book. There is a lot of really cool stuff about...
(Xander spots a bowl on a table.)
Xander: Ooh, grapes! (Picks up a grape.) Wow, peeled. You guys know how to spoil your guests.
Guy2: Eyeballs, man. Blindfold chicks and have them stick their hands in the bowl and tell them it’s eyeballs. They love that.
Xander: And here I was wasting time buying them flowers and complimenting them on their shoes. So, you go through the whole house of horrors downstairs and it ends up here. Sweet. You fratly guys have a nice setup.
Guy2: Hey, mighty, mighty Alpha Delts. You should think about pledging.
Oz: Oh, Xander is a civilian.
Guy2: Ah! Townie, huh? Didn’t know. He looked so normal. You sure we should let him come to the party, Oz?
Xander: Hey, standing right here.
(Scary sound effects start to play loudly. Oz looks at the speakers unhappily.)
Guy2: Cranking.
Xander: (looks at Oz) You sensing a disturbance in the force, master?
Oz: (pulls out a folding pocketknife) Ah, the left speaker is crackling a little bit.
Xander: And you feel stabbing it is the proper solution?
Oz: I’m just going to trim the wire. It might be a short.
(Xander nods and turns away.)
Oz: (straightens up) Ah!
Xander: Oz?
Oz: Cut myself. It’s okay.
(He walks over shaking his hand. Some blood drops on the symbol on the floor.)
Xander: Playing with knives, fun, yes, but not safe. And when you bleed to death I’ve got dibs on your equipment.
(A ripple runs over the symbol, but no one notices one of the plastic spiders at its edge coming alive and crawling away.)
(Summers Residence)
(Joyce is altering a red cape on her sewing machine.)
Buffy: Thanks again for doing this at the last minute.
Joyce: I’m just glad I could find it. There, try it now. I let down the hem and loosened it a little around the hood.
Buffy: (puts it on) Oh, it feels better. (Joyce smiles at her.) Oh, no. Someone is getting nostalgic face.
Joyce: I’m sorry. I’m thinking about the little girl who wore that. What is it? Five…six years ago?
Buffy: Yeah, little red riding hood was the cutting edge in costumes.
Joyce: (laughs) Your father loved to take you out.
Buffy: He was such a pain! 12 years old and I can’t go trick-or-treating by myself?
Joyce: He just wanted to keep you safe.
Buffy: No, he wanted the candy. I was just the beard.
Joyce: Oh, that’s not true actually. The candy was for me. - Your father loved spending time with you.
Buffy: (looks down) Not enough, I guess.
Joyce: Buffy.
Buffy: Oh, that just paved right over memory lane, huh?
Joyce: Our divorce had nothing to do with you.
Buffy: I don’t know. I’m starting to feel like there is a pattern here. Open your heart to someone, and he bails on you. Maybe it’s easier to just not let anyone in.
Joyce: I thought it might be easier. You must have noticed that I am not exactly the social butterfly I was when I was with your dad. I don’t think I made a single new friend the year we moved to Sunnydale.
Buffy: Why not?
Joyce: Fear. I didn’t believe I could trust anyone again. It’s taken time and a lot of effort, but I’ve got a nice circle of friends now. - I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m still a little gun shy. It certainly didn’t help that my last boyfriend turned out to be a homicidal robot. (Sits down next to Buffy) I will *always* be here for you. And you got Mr. Giles and your friends. (Buffy looks at her) Believe me, there is nothing to be afraid of.
(UC Sunnydale – Stevenson Hall – Buffy & Willow’s Room – Night)
(Willow is dressed up as Joan of Arc. She’s talking to someone on the phone.)
Willow: No, I just meet you at your place. Yeah, Buffy said she was coming but I haven’t seen her. We have to make sure she has fun. We have to force fun upon her. And if Parker shows up we just - ax-murder him. That’s halloweeny! Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit.
(Willow hangs up the phone and goes into the hallway.)
(Hallway)
(It’s full of college kids in costumes. A tall black guy in drag wearing a blond wig comes up to her.)
Guy: Willow, you’ve got to stop by the room.
Willow: I’m late for a battle or I would. I love your outfit though.
(Willow walks by a red lobster talking to a girl dressed like a present.)
Lobster: There is nothing going on here.
Present: I saw you flirting with her!
Lobster: Do we have to do this every time? I love you, you know that!
(Alpha Delta Fraternity – Attic)
(The party is in full swing.)
(2.Guy leads a blindfolded girl to the bowl of peeled grapes.)
Guy2: Okay, Rach, what’s in the next one?
Rachel: You guys are sick!
Guy2: Here, give me your hand.
Rachel: (with her hand in the bowl) This is gross.
Guy2: Eyeballs, Rachel, they’re eyeballs! Muahaha!
(Rachel giggles takes her blindfold of and looks at what she’s picked up out of the bowl. She is holding eyeballs. Screams.)
(Campus)
(Buffy, dressed like little red riding hood, is standing with a basket in her hands. Xander walks up behind her wearing a tux.)
Xander: Hey, Red. What you got in the basket, little girl?
Buffy: Weapons.
Xander: Oh.
Buffy: Just in case. Like the tux, Xander.
Xander: Bond. James Bond. Insurance, you know, in case we get turned into our costumes again. I’m going for cool, secret agent guy.
Buffy: I hate to break it to you, but you’ll probably end up cool head waiter guy.
Xander: As long as I’m cool and wield some kind of power.
(They meet up with Willow and Oz.)
Buffy: Will. Medieval Will.
Xander: Hail, ye olde vareletty thou.
Willow: I’m Joan of Arc. I figured we had a lot in common, seeing as how - I was almost burned at the stake, and plus she had - that close relationship with God.
Xander: (to Oz) And you are?
(Oz pulls his jacket open to reveal a nametag with God on it. They all head towards the party.)
Xander: Of course. I wish I’d thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could have been God.
Oz: Blasphemer.
(Two of the commando guys wearing ski masks and carrying guns step out of the bushes in front of them.)
Buffy: Nice costumes. Very stealthy.
Willow: What are they supposed to be?
Oz: NATO?
Xander: Oh, yeah, I, ah, invited Anya to join us, but she’s having some trouble finding a scary costume, so she’s just going to meet us there.
Buffy: Perfect, everybody’s got a date but third-wheel Buffy.
Willow: You’re not a third wheel.
Xander: Technically speaking you’re a fifth wheel.
(Willow pushes him aside impatiently and puts an arm around Buffy.)
Willow: We’re going to have the best time.
(Alpha Delta Fraternity – Attic)
(All the kids are running around, screaming. There are strobe lights going, given everything a creepy look.)
Voice: Release me!
(Outside)
(Buffy and the gang walk up to the house.)
(Inside – Hallway)
(Kids running and screaming.)
(Outside)
(Willow and Oz smile and holding hands as they walk up to the door.)
Oz: (turns around in front of the door) Let the horrors begin.
(Inside – Hallway)
(Guy2 is running down the hallway.)
Guy2: God, help me!
(He falls down the steps and lands in a lifeless heap at the bottom.)
Voice: Release me!
(Foyer)
(The Scoobies enter the silent haunted house.)
Xander: The joint’s not jumping. Where is everybody?
(Mechanical laughter comes from a head with one eye hanging from its socket sitting in a punch bowl on a table next to the door.)
Oz: Follow the signs.
Buffy: (looks at the severed head) Terrifying. If I were Abbott and Costello this would be fairly traumatic.
(Willow walks into a cobweb decorating a doorway and screams.)
Willow: Uh, ah! Cobweb! (Pulls it off of her.) Okay that part was realistic.
Oz: Frat boys aren’t too obsessive with their cleaning. Might not be decoration per se.
(The plastic skeleton with the knife swings out at Xander and he jumps.)
Xander: I wasn’t scared, I was in the spirit.
Willow: And we back you up on that. Even if they question us separately.
(Oz looks back at Willow and notices a real tarantula on her shoulder. Willow sees what he is looking at and screams.)
Willow: Uh, get it off!
(Oz brushes at it then checks her over.)
Oz: It is gone.
Willow: Okay, that is not sanitary!
Buffy: Yeah, lets get to the party part of the party.
Willow: (to Oz): Are you sure it’s off?
Oz: (as they follow Buffy) Yeah.
(Room)
(Buffy bends down to examine a spot on the carpet.)
Oz: I thought this led to...
Xander: (to Buffy) What is it?
(Buffy looks at the stain on her fingers.)
Buffy: Blood. (smells her fingers) Real blood.
Xander: Okay, actual creeps have been given. (Loudly) Bravo, frat boys!
Buffy: (stands up) Shh! Do you hear something? Like a - squeaking noise?
Xander: Oh, it’s these rented shoes, patent leather. I asked the guy to...
Willow: No, no, I…wait. It’s something else. I hear it, too. Something like...
(They all slowly look up at the ceiling. It’s covered with real bats. All of them scream and cover their heads as the bats suddenly drop down and fly off down the hall. Oz walks over and picks up a bat that is laying on the floor.)
Willow: No, Oz, don’t it might be...
Oz: Rubber. It’s made of rubber.
Buffy: (looks around) What the hell is going on here?
Xander: Look, maybe it’s nothing. Maybe its just a neat trick. You know, something done with wires or...
Voice: Release me!
Xander: Or it might be something else.
(Outside)
(Anya walks up to the house wearing a furry, white bunny suit. There is a welcome mat laying in front of a solid wall.)
Anya: Where is the door? (knocks on the wall) Hey! Hello!
(She sighs and walks back out to the street. She hears a scream coming from the house and looks up to see a girl banging against one of the upper story windows.)
Girl: Help me! Help me!
(The stones surrounding the window suddenly expand to cover it up.)
Anya: Xander!
(She runs off for help.)
(Inside)
(The gang are walking back into the entrance room. You can hear all kinds of screams and creepy sound effects.)
Xander: Where is the stairs?
Willow: Where is the door?
Buffy: This is the way we came in, right? We just went in a circle? (The sound effects cut off as Oz flips a switch) Thank the lord!
Oz: You’re welcome.
Willow: Hey, I have a neat idea: lets get out of here!
Buffy: And you were so anxious for me to come.
Willow: I’m serious, Buffy. We don’t know what we’re dealing with.
Xander: My turn. Does anyone hear that?
Buffy: As soon as we start dealing with it I’ll know what it is we’re dealing with. Do you hear something?
Xander: Like I said. Sounds like a hissing.
Buffy: (puts down her basket) It’s like a ssss noise?
Xander: I thought the word hissing kind of covered that nicely.
(Buffy pulls open the door to a closet. There is a guy in there rocking back and forth.)
Chaz: I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.
Oz: (crouches down in front of him) Chaz.
Chaz: I didn’t know.
Oz: What’s happening?
Chaz: It ah...
Buffy: (impatiently) What is it?
Chaz: It’s alive. It’s alive.
(Cut to the plastic skeleton. Cut to the knife in its hand. As the camera pans back up the bones are suddenly real. There is an eyeball in one of its sockets. It straightens its head and looks at the camera. Cut to Buffy.)
Buffy: What’s alive?
Xander: He’s in shock.
Buffy: Chaz, what happened here?
(Chaz looks up and screams as he sees the skeleton come up and stab at Buffy’s shoulder from behind. Buffy turns and knocks its head aside then kicks it in the middle. It lies back to land on the ground, once again plastic. Buffy stares at it then checks her shoulder.)
Buffy: I think the cape took most of it.
Xander: Let me see.
Oz: Could need stitches. You should at least get a bandage or something. (We hear a girl scream and Chaz crawls back into the closet and closes the door.) Cowering in a closet is starting to seem like a reasonable plan.
Buffy: (looks back over her shoulder) What closet? (There is only a blank wall.) I’m gonna make my way upstairs and see if there are any people up there. (Picks up her basket.) You guys find a way out of the house and use it.
Willow: You’re telling us to run away and leave you behind?
Buffy: (pulls a loaded crossbow out) We need help. We need the only person that can make sense of what’s happening.
(Giles’ Apartment)
(Giles is sitting with his bowl of candy, looking bored. There is an insistent knock on the door and he gets up. He quickly swallows his candy.)
Giles: Just a minute! - Coming! (Opens the door) Happy Hall...
Anya: (walks past him) Xander is in trouble. We’ve got to do something, right now!
(Giles stares at her with his mouth hanging open.)
Giles: Anya.
Anya: Are you listening? Xander is trapped!
Giles: Uh, ah, where is Buffy and the others?
Anya: They’re trapped, too, but we’ve got to save Xander!
Giles: (takes off his sombrero and sits down) Slow down. I need you to be more specific.
Anya: Um, ah, we were supposed to meet at this house, and I got there and there was no door where a door should be. And then I see this girl standing in a window, and then poof! She’s gone.
Giles: She vanished from the window?
Anya: No, the window vanished from the house.
Giles: Hmm. Matter and reality distortion. (Goes and pulls a book from his shelf) Like a summoning spell’s temporal flux.
Anya: What?
Giles: Hmm? Oh, never mind. I just need to get some - supplies together. (Looks over at Anya) I wouldn’t worry about Xander. At least he’s amongst friends.
(UC Sunnydale – Alpha Delta Fraternity)
(The gang are all arguing with each other.)
Buffy: Will, I’m telling you...
Willow: You’re telling me? You’re telling me?!
Buffy: I can’t do my job if I have to worry about each of your safety.
Willow: It’s not your decision!
Buffy: Got to disagree with you there.
Willow: Oh, of course you do.
Xander: Let’s all take a breath. Buffy, maybe...
Willow: Being the Slayer doesn’t automatically make you boss. You’re as lost as the rest of us.
Oz: What are we talking about?
Willow: It’s a simple incantation, a guiding spell for travelers when they become lost or disoriented.
Buffy: And how does it work?
Willow: It conjures an emissary from the beyond that lights the way.
Buffy: Conjuring. Will, let’s be realistic here. Okay, your basic spells are usually only fifty-fifty.
Willow: (upset) Oh yeah? Well, - so is your face!
(Willow walks off while Buffy tries to figure out what that meant.)
Buffy: What?! (walks after Willow) What does that mean?
Willow: (turns around) I’m not your sidekick!
(Willow stomps out. Oz runs after her. Buffy stands there and sighs.)
Xander: Well, that was a bunch of laughs. (Buffy walks past him back to her basket.) Look, Buffy, we are all tired and a *little* edgy. Maybe Willow is over reacting. I’m sure part of it is because of how you’ve been pushing away girl lately. (Buffy picks up her crossbow, ignoring him totally.) But now is not the time to let that stuff tear us apart. (Buffy turns to go.) What I’m saying is, I’m right with ya. I’m right by your side. I’m...
Buffy: (looks around) Xander?
Xander: Funny how you still haven’t lost your sense of inappropriate humor.
(Buffy turns around looking right through him.)
Buffy: Xander, where did you go?
Xander: Buffy, knock it off. Skit’s over. I’m right here.
(Buffy stomps off down the hall.)
Buffy: This is so *typical* of him!
Xander: Typical?
Buffy: (down the hall) Xander?
Xander: (follows her after a beat Buffy!
(Room1)
(Xander walks into a room lit by candles. The walls are covered with cobwebs.)
Xander: Buff?
(Hallway)
Willow: She thinks I’m not ready to be a full blown witch! I can handle the dark forces as good as anyone else. It’s not that hard. I-It’s just a guiding spell and I’m careful and all.
(Oz looks around the room they just walked into.)
Oz: This floor used to have windows.
Willow: Look. We found the stairs. (Starts walking up.) Buffy didn’t find the stairs, no sir!
Oz: (follows her up the stairs) You guys aren’t thinking clearly.
(He looks down at his hands. They are hairy and his fingernails look more like claws.)
Willow: We just need to get up to the goat room and maybe we can...
Oz: Willow, something is happening.
Willow: (turns back to him) Something good? (Sees that he is turning into a werewolf.) Oh no, not good.
Oz: I’m changing.
Willow: But ? but you can’t! There is no moon tonight.
Oz: I have to get away.
Willow: No, we need to find something to restrain you, like a rope or chains, or something.
Oz: There is no time!
Willow: I can do the guiding spell. I know I can make it work!
Oz: Will, please.
Willow: (tries to grab him) No!
(Oz bats her hand away with a growl.)
Oz: NO!
(Willow looks down at the three red scratches on the back of her hand. Oz turns and runs off.)
Willow: Oz! Oz, don’t leave me!
(We get several quick shots of different empty parts of the house with Willows voice echoing: Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!)
(Room2)
(Xander walks up to a mirror.)
Xander: There I am. I didn’t go anywhere. (He looks at his reflection in the mirror. We can see a decapitated head with one eyeball hanging from its socket sitting on a dresser behind him.) Great. Now I just have to live with the fact that no one else can see me.
(The head begins to jiggle, blood runs from its eye sockets. Xander spins around and stares at it.)
Head: I can see you.
(Xander runs off.)
(Bathroom)
(Oz is sitting in a bathtub repeating over and over.)
Oz: You’re not going to change. You’re not going to change.
(Hallway)
(Camera pans over some old pictures covered with cobwebs, comes up behind Buffy walking down a corridor. She hears a noise and spins around, crossbow at the ready, but there is nothing there.)
(Dining room)
(Willow is sitting on a table.)
Willow: Okay, Aradia, Goddess of the lost, the path is murky, the woods are dense, darkness pervades, I beseech thee, bring the light. (She opens her eyes and smiles as she sees a tiny speck of light floating in front of her face.) Woah! I did it! I did you. Hi! - Right, you’re waiting for instructions. Lead me to Oz. (The speck of light starts to float past her, and Willow gets up.) Wait! I should try to find the people trapped upstairs first. (Willow looks down and doesn’t see that there are now two then three sparks.) But even if I get them we still need to find a way out of the house. (They spark keep multiplying.) Okay, here is what we should do. (Sees the cloud of sparks.) Hey! What’s going on? (The sparks start to circle he.r) Stop! (Willow starts to bat at them as they start to buzz around her like a cloud of mosquitoes.) Stop it! - Get off! - Oz, hel..
(Some of the sparks fly into her mouth and she starts coughing, then runs off. The sparks chase after her.)
(Hallway)
(Buffy hears Willow yell for help and spins around. She tries to follow Willow’s voice.)
Buffy: Willow.
(She comes up to a locked door and bust it open. There is no floor in the room behind it and she falls down into the basement.)
(Basement)
(We see Buffy laying on the floor on her back, looking up as the door swings slowly shut.)
Buffy: Basement. - I must be in the basement.
Hollow voice: All alone.
(Buffy pushes herself up.)
Buffy: Who said - that?
(The guy that fell down the steps walks around a corner with his head tilted at an unnatural angle.)
Guy: They all ran away from you. They always will. Open your heart to someone and… (Smiles at her) But don’t fret, little girl, you’re not alone (Buffy screams as arms burst up through the floor to grab at her.) anymore.
(Front Porch)
(Giles and Anya are standing in front of the house. Giles is running a hand over the place where the door used to be, holding an open book in his other hand.)
Anya: (bouncing impatiently) Well?
Giles: We’re gonna have to create a door.
(He closes the book and walks over to his bag.)
Anya: Create a door. You can do that?
(Giles gets up with a chainsaw in his hands.)
Giles: I can.
(Basement)
(Buffy is still fighting the dead people.)
Broken neck guy: No matter how hard you fight, you just end up in the same place. (Buffy crawls along the floor on all fours, kicking at the guys following her.) I don’t see why you bother.
(Buffy reaches a small door, goes through and slams it shut behind her.)
(Attic)
(Buffy is in the attic.)
Buffy: I’m upstairs. The goat room. (She slowly walks into the room. There are college kids in costumes cowering all along the walls, whimpering. She spots a boy cowering in the corner.) Oz?
(Willow comes running into the room waving her arms around.)
Willow: Get them off me! Get them off me! (Oz looks at his normal hands then up at her.) Get ‘em off! Get ‘em off!
Oz: (takes a hold of her) Willow, Willow, Willow, what’s wrong?
Willow: Couldn’t get them off..
Oz: It’s okay. It’s okay. (Pulls her into his arms) We’re okay.
Buffy: (shakes her head) We’re not okay. We need to get out of here.
Xander: I’d offer *my* opinion but you jerks aren’t gonna hear it anyway. (Buffy walks over to where he is rocking back and forth on the edge of a chair) Not that didn’t go to college? boy has anything important to say. I might as well hang out my new best friend, bleeding dummy head, for all you dorks care.
Buffy: (yells) What is wrong with you?
Xander: You…you heard that? You can see me? (Buffy nods) Good. Oh, God, good!
Oz: The house separated us. It wanted to scare us.
Willow: But - we got away.
Buffy: No. We were brought here. We all got so scared that we ended up here. Why?
(Xander points at the pentagram on the floor.)
Xander: I saw them painting that. They were copying it out of (Looks around and spots the open book on a table) that!
Willow: (takes the book from him) I think it’s Gaelic.
Buffy: Can you translate?
Voice: Release me! (They all look around but there is nothing there) Release me!
Buffy: Will, give me something.
Willow: Okay, uhm, uhm, the icon’s called the-the Mark of Gachnar. I-I think this is a summoning spell for something called…
Xander: Gachnar?
Willow: Well, yes. Somehow the beginning of the spell must have been triggered. Uhm, Gachnar is trying to manifest itself, to-to come into being.
Buffy: How?
Willow: I-it feeds on fear.
Buffy: Our fears are manifesting it. We’re feeding it. We need to stop.
Xander: If we’re close our eyes and say it’s a dream it’ll stab us to death! These things are real.
Voice: Release me!
Buffy: Okay, so our fears are feeding it, if we get everyone out of here...
(The walls start knocking and shaking.)
Xander: Good plan. Lets go!
(He walks towards the door. He screams when it burst open to reveal Giles with the running chainsaw in his hands. Giles turns off the saw.)
Xander: Giles? Everyone, it’s Giles! With a *chainsaw*. (Anya runs in and hugs Xander.) Glad you could make it.
Giles: The walls closed up behind us. (Walks over and takes a look at Willow’s book.) Gachnar, of course. It’s presence infects the reality of the house, but it’s not managed to achieve full manifestation. We can not allow this to come into being.
Buffy: But if it does I can fight it, right?
(Giles walks over and shows her a picture in the book.)
Giles: Buffy, this is Gachnar.
Buffy: I don’t want to fight that. So, we break the spell.
Xander: What ever we do, lets do it fast.
Giles: (flipping pages) I have it, I have it. Uhm, The summoning spell for Gachnar can be shut down in one of two ways. Destroying the mark of Gachnar (Buffy walks over to the mark and puts her fist through it, ripping up the floorboards. Gets up and looks over at Giles with a proud smile.) Is *not* one of them and will in fact immediately bring forth the fear demon itself.
(Buffy makes a face and looks at the mark that’s beginning to glow.)
Willow: Look!
(The floor rumbles as they all stare in horror. We get a close up of Gachnar, and he’s one ugly dude. Gachnar looks up and the camera pulls back to reveal that he is tiny, maybe a half a foot tall, if that.)
Buffy: This is Gachnar?
Xander: Big overture. Little show.
Gachnar: I am the dark lord of nightmares! (Buffy tries not to laugh) The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!
Willow: (laughing) He’s no cute!
Gachnar: Tremble!
Xander: (bends down) Who’s a little fear demon? Come on! Who’s a little fear demon!
Giles: Don’t taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why, can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it’s just tacky. Be that as it may, Buffy, when it comes to slaying...
Buffy: Size doesn’t matter?
Gachnar: They’re all going to abandon you, you know.
Buffy: Yeah, Yeah.
(We get a shot of Buffy’s huge foot as she stomps down and squishes the fear demon.)
(Giles’ Apartment)
(The gang are all seated around the living room chowing down on Giles’ Halloween candy.)
Oz: Some quality treats here, Giles.
Giles: Please, finish them.
Buffy: Uhm, this is much better. There is no problem that can not be solved with chocolate.
(Willow leans back crossing her arms over her stomach.)
Willow: I think I’m going to barf.
Buffy: Except that.
(Xander stares at Anya while he’s eating his candy.)
Anya: What?
Xander: That’s your scary costume?
Anya: Bunnies frighten me.
Giles: Oh, bloody hell. The inscription!
Buffy: What’s the matter?
(Giles comes over to show her the book.)
Giles: I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.
Buffy: (looks at it) What’s it say?
Giles: Actual size.
(After a beat Buffy shrugs and closes the book.)
BLACK OUT