Lorne (The Host) Quotes
Lorne: You don't have to sing. A break for you, a break for me, and a break for Manilow.
Lorne: Look you're a big hunk of hero sandwich.
Lorne: Okay, I know I'm probably going to regret this. In fact, being prescient, I'm actually sure of it.
Lorne: So, what we should do is start with the other Karaoke bars, see if we can get a lead on him. That is, if you're not too busy killing lawyers and setting girls on fire.
Lorne: So, there's another gear after that number two thingie? Ah, relax, I'll pay for a tune up. Unless the world ends and then I'm off the hook.
Lorne: Can you believe this? Not even ten o'clock and we've already run out of Yak's bile.
Lorne: Almost anything that can manifest, in order to move in this dimension, can be killed. Kinda the down side to bein' here. That, and the so called musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Lorne: Isn't this the sort of 'tude that got you where you are now? I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say... if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil, then at least, ... leather pants.
Lorne: It's called a moment of clarity, my lamb, and you've just had one.
Lorne: Jeez, keep your pants on. Well, I can see we're a little late with that advice.
Lorne: You think you're the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was lying next to him and went, "Gueeeeyah!"
Lorne: Eh, kill her, give her cab fare, whatever. The point is, you've turned a corner. Well, yay you. Zuzu's petals, it's about time. Between you and me, if it had taken you much longer to hit your bottom, I was gonna kick it.
Lorne: You know what I'm talking about, in this city, you better learn to get along 'cause L.A.'s got it all, the glamour and the grit, the big breaks and the heartaches, the sweet young lovers and the nasty ugly hairy fiends that suck out your brain through your face. It's all part of the big wacky variety show we call Los Angeles. You never know what's coming next. And let's admit it, folks isn't that why we love it?
Lorne: For the last time... not a coward. I just saw both sides of the joust. How are you supposed to joust someone when you partially agree with their point of view?
Lorne: Remember when I said I loved this dimension and I'm never, never, never gonna leave? Exactly which "never" did you not understand?
Lorne: Well, first there was the welcome home parade thrown in my honor--tickertape, streamers -- honestly, I was so touched, I almost wept. Locked me in a room, pushed me around, asked a bunch of questions--your standard film noir
Lorne: Not as good as you, obviously... Should I call them back? You could borrow the cuffs.
Lorne: Oh I'm sure it must be, and after all I only LOST MY HEAD! Or, technically, my body.
Lorne: Good as new -- although I seem to have put on about a hundred and fifty eight pounds.
Lorne: I had to come back here to find out I didn't have to come back here, I don't belong here, I hate it here. You know where I belong? L.A. You know why? Nobody belongs there, it's the perfect place for guys like us.
Lorne: This is way beyond my ken and my Barbie and all my action figures.
Lorne: He doesn't like Smokey Robinson and the Miracles? I thought you said this kid had a soul.
Lorne: I'm so glad somebody finally said that, because sitting here waiting to die never was much of a plan. Sorry.
Lorne: Ahhh, just listening to those Furies gives me whip lash. Thank God they finally left. my head was about to pop off, which, grant it, not that big a deal.
Lorne: Jumping Judas on a unicycle. What happened?
Lorne: They either have to consult with their prince or go eat a cheese monkey. Did-did I mention rusty with the lingo?
Lorne: Sorry. I yield the floor to the person *not* tied up on it.
Lorne: Angel, this isn't some slimy demon you've got trussed up here -- he's a human. Marginally, but still.
Lorne: Y'know, this space is one part hum, two parts dinger. Ever think of turning it into a nightclub? Hey. Missing the life. Sue me.
Lorne: There, you see what I mean? It's been like that all day! One of the nasty side effects of specializing in dimensional magic. What I wouldn't do for a lasso and some crazy glue.
Lorne: Tell ya what, since you were raised in a hell dimension by a psychopath, and since that's a topic I happen to know a little something about -- we'll just let that slide. I'll fetch your pop for ya.
Lorne: Actually, that's Uncle Filthy Demon to you. Wasn't that long ago – like a week - that I was changing your diapers, you llittle --
Lorne: Well, you have got some serious mojo goin' on, girl. Whatever deal you struck with The Powers -- looks to me like they gave you the full package, all the extras. That boy was tox-ic when he walked in here tonight. Heavy on the "ick."
Lorne: I'm the Host...have you met me? I never shut up!
Lorne: (singing to Connor) Go to sleep, lullaby
You've been fed and your sleepy
You'll be with Uncle Lorne
Who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet
And is certainly, not thinking
Of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer.
Da Da Dum…
Lorne: We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. Although the garden hue and horns have kept me out of some key public performances.
Lorne: But I really can't divulge to you what I read in another being. But I can tell you what I overheard in the men's rest room!
Lorne: Most anything that can manifest in order to move in this dimension can be killed---kinda the downside of being here. That and the so-called musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Lorne: Mr. Elton John hits the first few keys of 'Yellow Brick Road' I defy you not to feel like the only other person in the room.
Lorne: It turns out masacres are alot like sitting through God Father 3, once is enough.
Lorne: Oh really? Yeah well I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time you walk in with a problem. I have a heart. Grant it it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart, and that heart is broken.
Lorne: So, Sammy's at the Flamigo, and Frank, Dino, Peter, Joey, and Shirley are all front row center. Well, Sammy starts singing 'I Did It My Way' then he stops and says 'I can't sing this song in front of you, Frank.' (Connor coos up at Lorne) The crowd loves it. They're laughing. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, then Frank calls out 'hey, you're short, you're one-eyed, and I heard somewhere you're Jewish. Don't be intimidated!' The crowd goes wild!
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