Over The Rainbow
(Pylea)
(Cordelia wakes up in the woods.)
(Caritas)
(Wesley is looking around the club for Cordelia, Angel is searching behind the stage curtains.)
Wesley: Cordy?
Angel: Cordy?
Wesley: Oh no. Oh my god, no. How could I've let this happen?
Angel: No. She's here somewhere. She's just hiding. Cordy! Cordy!
Wesley: Angel.
Angel: What?
Wesley: She's gone. - Cordy's been sucked into the portal. She's in the host's dimension now.
Angel: (to Lorne) Where's Cordelia?!
(Pylea)
(Cordelia stands up and brushes herself off.)
Cordelia: Angel? - Wesley! - Mr. Green-Mojo-Guy's cousin? -(Screams) Help!! (Slaps a hand over her mouth.) Right. Good one, Cor. Scream *very* loudly so the hell beasts come to you. (Takes a deep breath then clicks her heels together three times. Nothing happens.) Worth a shot. - So. - Silver lining. - It's kind of a pretty place - when you look at it: woodsy woods, sunny and mild... (Spots a creature on a rock looking at her and growling.) Giant hairy hell beast staring at me. That's - that's incredibly frightening. Good hell beast. You're a lazy hell beast, aren't you? Yes. You're gonna stay right there (Turns and begins to run) while I run for my life.
(The beast jumps from its perch on the rock and chases after her.)
(Caritas)
(Lorne is behind the bar pouring himself a drink.)
Lorne: I don't know where she is. I mean, m-my world, sure, but who knows if she's even... oh no, 'cause there's the... and the (gestures towards his head) with the (gestures again) oh (knocks the drink back in one go). God I wish I could get drunk.
Wesley: Okay, let's approach this logically.
Angel: Screw logic. We're getting Cordy back. (He retrieves the book.) We're gonna open up another portal and we're going in after her.
Wesley: Angel, I don't think that's a good idea.
Angel: Wesley, I don't think I care.
Wesley: But we're completely unprepared. We should go back to the hotel, do some research.
(Lorne sinks down behind the bar, opening and closing his mouth, but with no words coming out.)
Angel: I don't wanna research, alright? I wanna jump through the big swirly hole thingy and save Cordelia!
(Angel starts to read from the book, but Wesley grabs him by the arm and pulls him around to face him.)
Wesley: We might never be able to get back!
Angel: (quietly) It's Cordy. (After a beat Wesley nods and steps back.) Krv Drpglr pwlz...
(Lorne peaks over the bar.)
Lorne: Oh crap.
Angel: ...chkwrt strplmt dwghzn prqlrzn lffrmtplzt. (Lorne ducks down behind the bar again as the music stops in a big crescendo - and absolutely nothing happens.) Maybe I have to be standing where the portal opens. (Lorne peeks over the bar than disappears again as Angel walks up on the stage and starts over.) Krv Drpglr pwlz chkwrt strplmt dwghzn prqlrzn lffrmtplzt! (Wesley sits down slowly as again nothing happens.) What, is it - out of batteries? (Turns to face Lorne who is once again peeking over the bar) Is this thing out of batteries?!?
Lorne: I don't know. I don't know how it works.
Angel: Damn it! (He throws the book down and drops to sit on the edge of the stage, takes a few deep breaths.) I just got her back.
Wesley: There's obviously not going to be any big swirly hole jumping without a big swirly hole.
Lorne: Yeah. Right.
Wesley: So I suggest we return to the hotel, figure out a way to make one.
Lorne: You know, maybe it's best that you can't get in.
(Wesley and Angel look over at Lorne.)
Angel: What?
Lorne: I'm just saying, my world? You-you don't want to jump into my world looking like that.
Angel: (stands up) Like what?
Lorne: Like a human.
(Pylea)
(Cordelia is running for her life. The beast catches up with her and brings her down and rolls her onto her back.)
Cordelia: No, no, wait! - I'm not supposed to die like this. (The beast begins to lick her face.) Oh, thank god - and also - eww!
(An old demon man comes running up.)
Old Demon: Come here boy. Seekul! (With a funny sounding squeak the beast jumps off Cordelia to face the demon, who holds his arms open.) Ha, ha, c'mere. Come on. Ha, ha.
(The beast bounces over to the old demon man. Cordelia slowly picks herself up while the man pets his beast.)
Old Demon: Good boy, Seekul. Yes. Yes.
Cordelia: Really cute - thing, you got there. Personally I've always been a real - thing lover.
Old Demon: Good boy. Good boy. You found me a cow.
Cordelia: Hey. Who're calling cow, mister!
(The demon man takes out a piece of leather with a weighted end, whips it around a few times them throws it at Cordelia, where it wraps her upper arms tightly to her body.)
Cordelia: Uhm - Oh-oh.
Old Demon: A fine old cow. Good cow. She'll fetch a pretty price at the market.
Cordelia: Okay. But you're like Hindu, right? You don't eat the cows, right?
Old Demon: Kind of a chatty cow, huh, Seekul? That'll drag down the price. (He pulls out a piece of cloth.)
Cordelia: Wait! Wait,wait wait!
(The demon uses the cloth to gag Cordelia.)
(Hyperion)
(Lorne sits in the Lobby, while Angel leans on the counter. Wesley enters carrying a stack of books.)
Angel: Start talking.
Lorne: About my dimension? Okay, sure. Lets see. I was there. I came here. I like here. I don't wanna go there. So, is that all? Because I have to clean up the club. (He moves to leave.)
Angel: Sit. (Lorne drops back down on the bench.) Let's start simple. How did you get from your world to here?
Lorne: Through a portal.
Angel: And how did you open that portal?
Lorne: I didn't.
Angel: You're not helping me here.
Lorne: Look, it's no secret that I hate Pylea.
Angel: Pylea.
Lorne: My home dimension. Back when I lived there I would have done anything to get out. Anything! So one day, five years ago, I'm in the woods when suddenly right in front of me, out of nowhere, a portal appears. It-it was like my prayers had finally been answered.
Angel: You knew it was a portal.
Lorne: Well, no. At first I didn't know what the heck it was. But when I went to take a closer look, the forest goes all bendy, big flashy light and whoosh! - through the portal and bang (snaps his fingers) - I'm in another dimension. This dimension - which I love and adore and will never, never, never *never* leave.
Angel: But then who (snaps his fingers) opened the portal?
(Lorne holds up his hand as if it was a sock puppet.)
Lorne: Gift horse. (opens the hand puppets mouth) Mouth. (Pointedly looks the other way)
(Angel goes to sit down.)
Angel: Alright. So where did you end up in this dimension?
Lorne: In an abandoned building, unlike any building I'd ever seen. And that's when I realized that I'd been delivered from hell. - I created Caritas in that very spot.
Angel: So you're saying that Pylea is a hell dimension, that Cordy is stuck in hell.
Lorne: Oh, not literally - but it runs a close second.
Angel: I find that hard to believe.
Lorne: Do you? - Well, try this: they have *no* music there. It doesn't exist. Do you know what that's like? No lullabies, no love songs. All my life I thought I was crazy. That I had ghosts in my head or something. Simply because I could hear music. Of course I didn't know it was music. All I knew was that it was something beautiful and - and painful - and right. And I was the only one who could hear it. - Then I wound up here and heard Aretha for the fist time... Well. (Gives a slight laugh, then turns serious) Don't kid yourselves. Cordy's in a very bad place.
Wesley: It's cold!
Angel: What? Put on a sweater.
Wesley: No. No, no, no. The hotspot is cold. (Angel and the host look at him) - Certain geographical areas are rife with psychic energy. These areas tend to function as - dimensional hotspots, natural gateways between worlds. I'm guessing Caritas is one such spot. But the catch is...
Angel: Oh god, got to have one of those.
Wesley: Creating a portal tends to deplete a hotspot of its psychic energy.
Angel: And since we already opened one...
Wesley: ...the hotspot is cold. That's why you couldn't open a second portal.
Angel: See, I was right. It was the batteries.
Wesley: The same probably applies to the one in the library.
Lorne: Oh, why not then wait until the portal recharges?
Angel: (gets up) Because we've already wasted enough time. We have to find another hotspot and fast.
Wesley: That's not our only problem.
Angel: (sits back down) Of course it's not.
Wesley: When separate entities enter a dimensional portal they tend to - well - separate. Assuming we find another hotspot, and manage to open another portal, if we simply jump in, we could end up literally on opposite ends of the world.
Lorne: That means Landok and Cordy...
Wesley: ...didn't arrive together.
Angel: She really is alone.
Gunn: (walking in) Hey.
Wesley: Gunn! Where have you been? We've been... We spoke hours ago.
Gunn: Sorry.
Wesley: No, it's okay. It's fine. Uh (gestures towards Angel) will you update him?
Angel: Yeah. We've got two problems. One: we got to find a dimensional hotspot, and two: we got to figure out how we can all get through the portal without...
Gunn: I'm not going.
(Everyone stops to look at Gunn.)
Angel: (after a beat) What?
Gunn: Last night I lost one of my crew. - I should have been there, but... - I'm sorry but Wes said the trip was one way and-and I can't! - I know that makes me... (Shakes his head) I don't know what it makes me. But I figured I just owed to you to tell you face to face. (Angel stays silent) - Wish you luck. - Please. Find her.
(Gunn and Angel look at each other for a moment then Gunn turns and leaves.)
Lorne: Hmm, tough decision. Poor kid. - But I'm right there with him.
Angel: Yeah. Me too, I guess.
Lorne: No, I mean about the not going part. You do know I'm not going, right?
Angel: What? - But it's your world. We need a guide.
Lorne: Remember when I said that I loved this dimension and I'm never, never, *never* gonna leave? Well, exactly which never did you not understand?
Angel: First Gunn and now... I-I can't believe this!
Lorne: I'm sorry guys, but, I tell you what, I've got an idea about finding your hotspot. Back in a jiff.
(Lorne walks out as Angel leans on the counter across from Wesley.)
Wesley: Gunn does have - responsibilities - ties - people to take care of.
Angel: So do I. - Right now - you and I- have to figure out - how to save her.
(Wesley goes back to reading his books.)
(Pylea)
(Cordelia is carried into a quaint, medieval looking village hung hand and foot off a log, carried between to demon men. They set the log on top of some braces and leave. The old demon man comes up accompanied by an old demon woman.)
Old Demon: She is a good cow. Strong. Maybe a little talkative, but you can whip it out of her.
Vakma: Skinny. Ugly, too. (Cordelia lets out a muffled protest) One pig.
Old Demon: Two pigs.
Vakma: For this old cow? She probably croak before I can get her home.
Old Demon: A pig and a pint then. Flip liquor.
(Vakma looks over at Cordelia then pulls a shiny silver collar out of the bag she is carrying.)
Vakma: Fine. Put the collar on her. (The old demon man takes the collar and snaps it around Cordelia's neck.) Ever since the last cow died we've mucking out the flehegna stables ourselves. You should see my rash.
(The old demon man cuts Cordelia down and reaches to untie her gag, but Cordelia pushes his hands away mumbling 'I got it, I got it' through the gag and does it herself.)
Cordelia: Okay. Okay. Look. First of all - I'm a human being - not a cow. You can't just barter a human being! Second of all: one pig? One *measly* pig? Third of all there has been a *huge* misunderstanding. See, I am an American and I have rights. And right now I'd like to get right back to... (Vakma points a square, little, silver thing at Cordelia and presses down on it and Cordelia yelps and reaches for her collar) That hurt!
Vakma: Cows aren't for talking they're for doing their job if they know what's good for them. (To the old demon man) You can come by tomorrow and pick up your stuff. (To Cordelia) Come on cow.
(Vakma turns and walks away, but Cordelia doesn't move.)
Cordelia: If you think I'm gonna follow you...(Vakma points the silver thingy over her shoulder and presses it and Cordelia yelps.) Ow! You got another think... Ow! Coming.
(Cordelia starts to hurry after the old demon woman, not seeing the human girl, her dirty face half obscured by long dark hair, watching her from the shadows.)
(Gunn’s Truck)
(Gunn is sitting in his truck with the engine idling, staring straight ahead. Finally he swallows and puts the truck in gear.)
(Office)
(An office floor is divided into a lot of cubicles. In one of those cubicles we see a dark haired girl talking on the phone. )
Aggie: You don't know where you're going. You're lost. Miles from anything that grounds you. I get a deep sense of longing - separation.
(Lorne, holding a magazine to partially obscure his face and wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap comes up to the cubicle.)
Lorne: Is this a bad time?
Aggie: It's like you feel cut off. (With that she pushes a button on the phone and jumps up to hug him.) Lorne!
Lorne: Hey, Aggie, how's it going?
Aggie: Ah, you know the business. Vague predictions, lengthy pauses, anything to keep the numbers rolling.
Lorne: Yeah.
Aggie: You're hiding from the mob?
Lorne: Don't get me started. I know it's Hollywood chic going incognito and all, but this hat's really chafing my horns!
Aggie: (laughs) So, what brings you to the office?
Lorne: Like you don't already know.
Aggie: Oh, I know. I just want to see what kind of spin you're gonna put on it.
Lorne: Dimensional portals. Psychic hotspots. I need to find one.
Aggie: Why?
Lorne: Ah, some friends of mine are going on a little trip.
Aggie: Hm, I see. And the big flashing neon warning light in your aura means what?
Lorne: Eat at Joe's. - So, can you help me pin down a hotspot?
Aggie: No.
(Lorne kind of deflates and sits down.)
Lorne: Got to admit, I didn't see that coming.
Aggie: I'm getting all these ugly conflict vibes coming off you, Lorne. And they're all pointing at that portal.
Lorne: A-are you sure you're not just seeing the chili I had for lunch yesterday because, whohoo, you wanna talk about conflict! (She just looks at him and he leaves off the joke) They need the hotspot because they're going to Pylea, my home dimension.
Aggie: And you're not going with them?
Lorne: Hey, I'd rather have a hydrochloric acid facial. I'd rather invite a hive of wasps to nest in my throat. I'd rather sit through a junior high school production of Cats! - You see where I'm going with this?
Aggie: Not Pylea.
Lorne: Exactamondo.
Aggie: Well, it's too bad then. Now they'll never rescue the girl.
Lorne: Come again?
Aggie: (sigh) I can find your hotspot, Lorne, but on one condition: you've got to go with them. (Lorne shakes his head) It's the only way you'll ever resolve all those issues that are clouding up your aura, I can see it! - And be honest. Deep down you've always known you'd have to take that one last trip home.
Lorne: It's the 'last' that scares me.
Aggie: Well, sometimes the journey is taken simply because - it must be taken. - Is that vague enough for you?
Lorne: Is that what I sound like? Eeesh. No *wonder* people complain.
(Hyperion)
(Angel is pacing in the Lobby.)
Wesley: I suppose I could try a binding spell of some kind. Something to fuse us together as we enter the portal.
Angel: Good. Let's do that. Let's...
Wesley: However, we could emerge on the other side as a freakishly hybridized Siamese twin.
Angel: Keep looking.
Wesley: You know this is the third reference I've seen to iron or metal. Could be a clue as to how to prevent us from scattering.
Angel: What, we handcuff ourselves together? Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Wesley: Well, I - wouldn't know. And anyway, I don't think handcuffs would work.
Angel: What will work, Wesley? It's been twelve hours since she's been sucked through that portal. There is no telling what could have happened by now. - What do you want?
(We see that two men in business suits carrying briefcases have entered.)
Park: Angel. Good afternoon.
Angel: Lawyers. Don't you people sleep during the day?
Park: I'm Gavin Park. This is my associate, Mr. Hayes. We represent Wolfram and...
Angel: Already bored.
Park: We've come to appraise the hotel.
Angel: What?
Park: Correct me if I'm wrong, but your lease expires in six months and Wolfram and Hart is interested in purchasing this building.
Angel: You got to be kidding me. You guys - couldn't get me to turn evil, so now you wanna evict me? You know, they're trying to annoy me to death.
Park: We'd like to take a walk around the place if you don't mind.
Angel: (vamps out) You think I mind?
(Hayes can't help but stare a little, but Park shows no reaction.)
Park: Very well. We'll notify the real estate company of your non-compliance. They should send you a notice of obligation. After that if you still refuse to cooperate, well, - I'm sure that somewhere in your lease agreement there must be one or two loop holes to be - exploited.
(Park and Hayes turn to leave and Angel morphs back into human face, and rolls his head around.)
Angel: (to Wesley) How quick can we get out of this world?
Wesley: Hm.
(Pylea – Barn)
(Cordelia, now wearing some ragged indigenous clothing, is in a stable shoveling flehegna manure and talking to herself.)
Cordelia: I wanna go home. I wanna be in my bed. I wanna - order some Thai food and read the latest issue of Marie Claire. I wanna be doing anything but shoveling demon horse poop! (She yelps as her collar zaps her.) That woman has ears like a bat! (Grabs her collar) There's got to be a way to get this thing off.
Voice: Don't do that!
(Cordelia jumps and takes her hands off her collar, then looks for the source of the voice.)
Cordelia: Who's there? (Steps into the empty box behind her) What do you want?
Voice: I forget. It's not important. But - but if you take the collar off, bad things will happen to your head.
(Cordelia spots a hole in the wooden wall of the empty box and the ragged girl from the plaza peeking through it.)
Fred: Like - it'll implode. So don't take the collar off, okay? Cause-cause I can't talk to you if you don't have a head, okay?
Cordelia: Okay. A-are you a human?
Fred: Keep-keep shoveling! Go shovel.
(Fred glances around furtively as Cordelia obediently picks up her shovel.)
Fred: Where did you come from?
Cordelia: Los Angeles. How long have you been here?
Fred: I was born here. I-I mean, not really. I j-just... some-sometimes I think I was. I mean, I don't think it was my thought. I forget certain words. How'd you get here?
Cordelia: Hold on. Why don't you tell me where here is first?
Fred: Pylea. Keep shoveling! Geez! (Cordelia grabs the shovel again and pretends to shovel her head still close to the hole) Another dimension. You're lost. I can tell. So many of us are lost even there. But - but it's true. I'm not crazy. Well, crazy, but I'm not wrong.
Cordelia: So, how do I get out of here?
(Fred lets out something between a laugh and a sob.)
Fred: Oh. I forgot. Laughing. (Glances around) You don't. They use you as a slave. Then your body gives - zip! - Gone.
Cordelia: Well, that's not happening to me, okay? I have friends back in LA. They're gonna come rescue me. Any time now.
Fred: I tried to get back. I didn't have the mass, which is strange because... How'd you get here?
Cordelia: I'm pretty sure I, ah, I was sucked in by a portal.
Fred: A - a portal?
Cordelia: Yeah.
Fred: Where was it?
(Before Cordelia can answer we hear a male voice yelling: "Fugitive!".)
Fred: Oh no!
(Fred turns to run. Two demon men wearing the standard Pylea drab clothing run after her, while a third, wearing what looks like a uniform remains standing in the middle of the stable hallway.)
Men: There she is. Get her! Get her!
Cordelia: What's going on? (The two men drag a struggling Fred back to the uniformed guy.) What's going on?
(Another drab clad man grabs Cordelia and pulls her out into the hallway.)
Narwek: On your face, cow. On the floor.
Cordelia: No! No!
(The guy pushes her facedown on the floor.)
Fred: Let go of me. Stop! Stop!
(The constable, who is of the same race as the host takes a hold of Fred's collar.)
Narwek: A disabled collar. Clever little cow. You should have stayed in the woods!
(Motions and the two demon men holding her drag her out of the stable.)
Fred: Let go! Let go!
Cordelia: Wait!
Narwek: Facedown!
(The guy standing over Cordelia pushes her face back down into the dirt. After watching her for a moment to make sure she stays that way the constable and the other guy follow the others out of the stable.)
(Hyperion)
(Angel is sitting at Wesley's desk, the phone receiver lying on the table next to him.)
Angel: So as soon as Wes solves our scattering problem, we'll be leaving. Don't know if we'll be coming back. - It's eleven sixteen. Cordy's been gone for almost twenty-four hours now. - I think I covered everything. - Oh. The mortgage for the hotel - is under the company name. The lease is up on six months, at least that's what they tell me, so... I guess that's it. - Take care of yourself.
(Angel reaches over and pushes the off-button on the phone. The host appears in the door to Wesley's office.)
Lorne: How you're holding up?
Angel: I wanna go bad. I'm just waiting for Wes to have that Eureka moment.
Wesley: (os) Eureka!
Angel: (gets up) Oh, jeez. Thank god.
Lorne: You mean he actually really says Eureka?
(Wesley comes running into the office.)
Wesley: I know how to get us through the portal!
Angel: Good. Let's go!
(Angel and Wesley run out of the office with Lorne following more slowly.)
(Pylea)
(Cordelia is trailing after Vakma through the village market, loaded down with bags and buckets. Vakma seems to be wearing Cordelia's belt as a headband. She stops to talk to a green-faced, horned vendor.)
Vakma: Gimme six packets of hefroot, four queeks, a bottle of flip liquor, and a spatula.
Cordelia: Uhm, Vakma? Is it... earlier that-that girl in the barn...
Vakma: Shut up, Cow! Trensiduf of the Gathwok Clan was right. You talk too much. And you're about to spill my viper's milk.
Cordelia: Well, I-I'm sorry. It's just if I wasn't carrying every... (Scrunches up her face and begins to sway) Oh, no.
Vakma: Stand up straight, cow. That milk is worth more than you are.
(Cordelia topples as she is hit by a vision.)
Vakma: Bad Cow! Bad!
(Blurry pictures of a Drokken and a screaming demon man.)
Cordelia: A Drokken. It's attacking one of your villagers, near the forest, by a-a big, yellow rock.
(A ring of villagers has formed around her, some the pale-skinned demon people, others green-skinned, some of them dressed in the type of armor Landok was wearing.)
Cordelia: Isn't anyone gonna ask if I'm okay?
Vakma: (points at Cordelia) Cursed! My cow is cursed!
(Cordelia, still sitting on the ground holds up a hand to try and ward off the pitchforks aimed at her.)
Cordelia: No, wait. Wait. It's not a curse! This villager, You *have* to go save him, or the Drokken will...
(Trails off as the crowd waves swords and pitch forks at her, chanting 'cursed, cursed.')
(Movie Studio – Night)
(Angel’s car pulls up with Wesley in the passenger seat and Lorne in the back seat.)
Lorne: Here. Stop here.
(Angel stops the car.)
Angel: Here? Isn't this a movie studio?
Lorne: It makes a certain kind of sense, no? - Anyway, this is where Aggie said it was. And Aggie is never wrong when it comes to hotspots. She was doing sky bar way before Brad and Jennifer. - Anyway - you got the book? (Wesley holds it up) Good. Hold that puppy tight, okay? It's bad enough I got to cross over. The last thing I wanna do is to be stuck on the other side, waiting for a mystical locksmith.
Wesley: Alright then. (Looks over at Angel) I suppose we should probably begin.
Angel: (nods) Should I... - you know, I don't know, maybe put the top up?
Wesley: Shouldn't be necessary. If I'm right, we only require a metal enclosure on four sides in order to ensure that we travel through the portal together. The car, top up or down, should do it. - I'm almost positive.
(Angel puts a hand on the book in Wesley's lap.)
Angel: Almost.
Wesley: Ninety - six percent. (Angel kind of sinks down in his seat) Well, it's not like I've ever done this before! And with the time factor I'm under a great deal of...
Gunn: Oh, suck it up, English.
(Gunn hops over the side of the car into the backseat behind Angel.)
Wesley: Gunn. How did you..?
Gunn: (looks at Angel) Got a phone message. Sounded like the captain of the Titanic getting ready to go down with the ship.
(Wesley looks at Angel.)
Angel: I-I just though - that someone on this side - should - know the details - in case...
Lorne: A backup man! Terrific idea! Well, now that he's going, I suppose someone should stay here, mind the store. Don't worry, I'm not disappointed. Just get me something nice to...
(Lorne tries to get up out of the car, but the other three each put a hand out to push him back down and chorus 'shut up.')
Wesley: Everyone set?
Gunn: Let's get a move on.
Wesley: Right. (Opens the book) Here goes. - Krv Drpglr pwlz chkwrt strplmt dwghzn prqlrzn lffrmtplzt!
(Gunn stares as the portal begins to form in front of them.)
Gunn: Cool.
Angel: Ninety-six percent, huh?
Wesley: Give or take.
Angel: Okay, gentlemen, take a good look around.
(All of them buckle up.)
Angel: Now say good-bye!
(Looks over at Wesley, then guns the car for the portal. As the car disappears into the swirly hole the book drops onto the street behind it, smoking ever so slightly.)
(Pylea)
(Angel's convertible lands on the grassy ground between some trees on sunny Pylea, the screams of the passengers resonating through the air, then comes to a screeching halt. Angel jumps in his seat.)
Angel: The sun. Daylight. Quick. Hand me a blanket. Hand me a blanket or I'm gonna catch on fire! (Wesley scrambles for a blanket as Angel tries to pull up his leather jacket to cover his head.) Hand me a blanket! I'm gonna catch on fire! (Wesley hands him a blanket but instead of taking it, Angel looks down at his hands, then around himself.) Why am I not on fire?
Gunn: Yo, that was phat!
Wesley: Well, it is another dimension. Perhaps their sun...
Lorne: Back up, Copernicus. (Points to the sky) That's suns. Plural.
(Everyone looks up at the two suns up in the sky.)
Wesley: Suns. Yes. Well, perhaps they don't have the same effect on vampires.
(Wesley reaches out to pinch Angel's cheek, making him jump and turn in his seat.)
Angel: Hey! Watch it. Alright?
(Wesley pinches Angel's cheek.)
Angel: Hey!
(Angel slaps his hand down then retaliates by pinching Wesley.)
Wesley: Fascinating!
Gunn: Did you all see the street do that bendy thing?
Angel: (to Lorne) So, we made it then. This is your world.
Lorne: Oh yes. Home sweet hell.
Angel: Ha! I'm not on fire.
Wesley: And we're together. (Look down at himself then at Lorne and Gunn in the backseat) And we didn't merge into some freakish, four-men Siamese twin!
Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
(Angel jumps up to stand on his seat and spreads his arms looking up at the suns.)
Angel: Can everyone just notice how much fire I'm not on?
Lorne: Yeah, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood alright. Now, may I suggest we find some way to hide the car? It'll be a little conspicuous, seeing as we don't have convertibles in this world. Or you know, cars.
(They all climb out over the sides of the car.)
Gunn: Wonder if this is where Cordy came through.
Wesley: Could be.
Angel: Let's start gathering some branches, some brush. Anything to cover up the car. Oh, hey, look. There is some over in that patch of sun. I'll get them!
(He runs off. Reaches down to pick up the branches, but instead turns to bask in the suns, taking a deep breath.)
Gunn: (to Wesley) Hey, I'll give it to you. Trip into an alternate universe? Pretty damn cool.
(He and Wesley do an elaborate handshake ritual.)
Gunn: But I wanna find Cordy, quick.
Lorne: Me too. Well, I-I mean for her sake of course. - If I know Pylea, she could probably use a friend right about now.
(The Covenant)
(Cordelia is dropped face down on the floor of a big room with a vaulted ceiling, illuminated by torches stuck in wall-sconces. There are villagers crowded along the walls. Cordelia, her hands bound behind her back, slowly works herself into a sitting position.)
Cordelia: Uhm, I'd just like to say - that I don't know anything about a curse. Okay? I just have these visions that... (She notices some of the villagers turn to stare at her.) I don't get them very often.
Narwek: (entering) We found the body out by Dester's rock. A Drokken beast had fed on his flesh.
Cordelia: Oh god, it's you. Look, I'm really sorry about that. Honest. But I didn't make it happen, I just saw it.
Narwek: Before it had come to pass.
Cordelia: Exactly.
Narwek: It is the curse!
Cordelia: No. No curse. Just visions. They're not dangerous. I use them to help people.
Deep voice: Enough.
(A red-robbed, red-faced demon steps forward.)
Silas: We must discover beyond all doubt if this girl is cursed with the sight. We will commence the test.
Cordelia: Test. But I haven't studied. - Not much with the humor, are you, guys?
Silas: Bring forth the instrument. (Two red-robes carry in a table with various instruments on it. Silas picks up a big awl and holds it up.) Now we shall see if you are truly cursed, my child. - I pray you are not.
Cordelia: Please. Please. I'll keep them to myself. I'll never mention them again. Please no. No! No! (She leans back as far as she can as Silas comes closer and begins to scream.) Help me! Help!
(The Woods)
Angel: This should do it. Are you ready?
(The guys cover the car with branches.)
Lorne: Yeah. I think we're only a couple miles from town, but we'll have to walk it.
Angel: No problem here, walking in the sun. Hey, do it all the time.
(Wesley claps Angel on the back.)
Wesley: Yes, we're all heartily aware that you're not on fire. - Shall we go?
(Wesley starts to follow Lorne then calls back over his shoulder.)
Wesley: Don't forget the book. (Angel freezes.) What's wrong?
Angel: I just don't think that's funny.
Wesley: I wasn't trying to be... What?
Angel: Wesley, I don't have the book.
Lorne: What?!
Angel: (points at Wesley) You had the book.
Wesley: I don't have the book.
Gunn: Who had the book?
Angel: Wesley.
Wesley: Angel.
Angel & Wesley: No, I didn't. - Yes you did!
Lorne: Whoa. Ho, ho, whoa. Did we *look* in the car?
Angel: There is nothing there. I checked it before we started hiding it to make sure we didn't leave anything.
Lorne: Oh! Like say the book!
Wesley: Hold on. The book was in the car. That much we know. But, but perhaps - perhaps its only function is to open portals to Pylea. In which case it would be useless in Pylea and therefore - it only exists in our own dimension.
Lorne: Oh. You know, ordinarily I handle bad news really well. I just drown my sorrows in an ice-cold gin and tonic, little squeeze of lime, except where they don't have them here!!
Angel: Guys. Guys. You guys. We'll figure out another way to get back. We will. But right now we gotta find Cordelia, okay? That's why we're here, right? - She needs us. - Let's go.
(They all walk off together.)
Wesley: You grabbed the book when...
Lorne: I can't believe...
(The Covenant)
(Cordelia is lying curled up on the floor of the big room, with the people around her waiting. Silas steps forward.)
Silas: The tests are complete. It is the unanimous decision of the covenant that the girl - is afflicted. (The crowd begins to shift and murmur) She carries the curse of the sight.
(Silas nods at his fellow red-robes and two of them pick Cordelia up and drag her out of the room.)
(Town)
(Angel and the others have reached town and are making their way down a narrow, shadowed alley.)
Lorne: Just remember, keep your heads down. Xenophobia kind of a watch-word where I'm from.
Gunn: I don't get it. Why're they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kind of fly.
Wesley: Xenophobia. Fear of foreigners?
Gunn: Oh. Then can we pretend I didn't just say that?
(They stop at the end of the alley and Lorne points at a house across the street.)
Lorne: Now, right over there is Blix's house -- a boyhood chum of mine. Ah, we were the best of buds, always playing games, watching out for each other, close as a Torto demon and its parasite. (Off their looks) I'll make the approach. You three stay here -- we gotta keep a low profile.
Angel: Why?
Lorne: Because otherwise you might get beaten to death with sticks. Be right back.
(He quickly makes his way across the street to the house and enters it. A moment later we hear a scream ring out and the host comes running back out his former best but chasing after him with an ax in his hand.)
Blix: What?! - Traitor! Deserter! Betrayer!
Lorne: (as he runs past the others) We should run. Now!
(Blix continues screams attract the attention of others, dressed in the same hero garb that Landok was wearing. They draw their swords and join Blix in chasing down the alley as the others Angel and the others turn to run after the host. They run out into the market pursued by the screams of traitor and betrayer. Lorne hesitates for a moment then indicates a new direction. They run out onto the plaza where Cordelia was sold earlier, only to find warriors closing in on them from all sides.)
Men: Seize them!
Angel: Hey, what now? Where do we go now?
Lorne: Probably to the nearest dungeon. We're surrounded.
Wesley: We've been through a lot together, fellows. Fought a lot of fights. Faced some pretty steep odds.
Gunn: (to Angel) I take the twenty on the left, you take the fifty on the right.
Angel: Okay.
(And with that they engage the warriors surrounding them. And since for some reason the Pyleans only come at them one at a time, they don't do too badly. Wesley jumps up on the block, twirling a sword he just liberated from one of their pursuers.)
Wesley: I think we're winning!
(Smash cut to the four of them bound and on their knees in the dirt in front of the block. A two-wheeled chariot, drawn by two horses pulls into the plaza. Narwek gets out of it with a sigh.)
Narwek: Krevlorneswath of the Deathwok clan.
Lorne: Constable Narwek. Lovely to see you again. So, how've you been?
Narwek: Krevlorneswath of the Deathwok clan, you have returned. - Why?
Lorne: Actually I've been asking myself that very same question.
Narwek: Who are these cow-scum. You are all dressed - very strangely.
(Fingers the collar of Gunn's jacket and Gunn pulls away.)
Lorne: They're not cow-scum. They're humans and they're my friends.
Narwek: Cows are not friends. They are creatures of labor. Beasts of burden, no more! I do not know where you have been, Krevlorneswath of the Deathwok clan, but it is clear that you have abandoned the teachings of your people. (To some of the bucket-helmeted Warriors that accompanied him) Take him away. We will begin interrogations immediately.
(Lorne turns to look at Angel, kneeling beside him, as the guards grab him under his arms and drag him away.)
Angel: Wait! You can't do this.
Lorne: (as he’s being dragged away) What? Hey, watch it guys!
Narwek: You dare to use your tongue in my presence?
(Hauls back and kicks Angel between the legs. Angel doubles over with a slight groan.)
Narwek: Unworthy trash.
(Angel forces himself back upright. Three warriors come and pull all three of them to their feet.)
Narwek: For the crime of assault - against those judged to be your betters - you are to be detained until our royal highness passes sentence upon you.
Gunn: I'm guessing community service is out.
(Narwek glares at Gunn who raises his chin a little. Narwek steps in front of Gunn and hits him hard in the stomach. Angel tries to come to his aid but is restrained by some of the warriors. Wesley looks down, not moving. Gunn coughs and slowly straightens back up.)
Gunn: Too bad. I really like those orange vests.
(Narwek hits him with a hard right across the chin. Gunn spins around, manages to catch himself against the block.)
Wesley: Gunn, stop.
(Narwek moves to stand in front of Wesley, who meets his eyes without flinching.)
Narwek: Put these things away.
(Some of the warriors lead them away.)
(The Covenant)
(Silas in a dark room illuminated by torches.)
Silas: Time has arrived my brethren. - She is indeed cursed with the sight. - Measures must be taken. - Blood must be spilled.
(Dungeon)
(Wesley, Gunn and Angel are in a bare cell. Gunn is sitting on the straw-covered ground, grunting as he tries to break the chain connecting the shackles on his wrists. All three of them have their wrists and ankles shackled.)
Gunn: It's no use. This thing's made out of some magical alloy.
Wesley: Really? (Looks at his chains) How can you tell?
Gunn: I can't. I'm just making myself feel better.
Wesley: (drops his hands) Oh.
(Gunn levers himself back to his feet.)
Wesley: (to Angel) You found anything yet?
(Angel steps back from the door.)
Angel: Sealed up tight. Got to be at least six - seven inches thick at least. You?
Wesley: No. No, these impenetrable stone walls are proving to be rather...
Gunn: You say impenetrable and I will kick your ass.
Wesley: I was always horrified by those stories about the tower of London.
Angel: Wasn't that bad.
(Wesley and Gunn turn to look at Angel.)
Wesley: Yes? - Well, compared to this place I'm sure the tower takes on a certain - nostalgic glow. I wonder if they're treating the host any better.
(Angel pushes himself off the wall and moves over to the door.)
Gunn: Well, sure. The way that constable said interrogation I figure he's just in for a little light wrist slapping. - That - or he's dead.
Angel: Shut up.
Gunn: Well, I ain't saying it's not wrist slapping.
Angel: No, shut up.
(Angel presses his ear against the door and the other two hurriedly shuffle over to him, their chains clinking.)
Gunn: How we're supposed to hear anything...
(Angel waves him off impatiently.)
Angel: I can hear two men talking in the hall.
(Gunn looks at Wesley.)
Wesley: (whispers) Vampire.
Angel: Talking about a girl with visions.
Gunn: Cordy!
Angel: A covenant - a curse - something about testing the girl for sight. - They said she screamed.
Wesley: (quietly) Those bastards!
Angel: They're about to take us to a castle. - We're gonna be sentenced.
(Wesley and Gunn exchange a look. Angel pushes away from the door.)
Angel: They're coming.
(The three of them hastily hop-shuffle away from the door. The little window in the door is opened and a helmeted guard peers in. Seeing the three of them standing at the back of the cell, he opens the door.)
Guard: Out, prisoners!
(Angel and Co. slowly shuffle out the door. As they walk down the hallway we can hear whip cracks, each one followed by a scream.)
Angel: (quietly) Be ready.
(Outside Castle)
(We get an outside shot of a castle on a hill overlooking the village.)
(Castle Corridor)
(Lorne turns as the guards lead Angel and the others up a corridor to where he is standing.)
Lorne: Oh. Am I glad to see you. - And so much less dead than I expected.
Angel: What did they do to you?
Lorne: Oh, well, first there was the welcome home parade thrown in my honor. (Holds up his shackled hands) Ticker tape, streamers. Honestly, I'm so touched, I almost wept.
(Angel looks back at Wesley and Gunn.)
Lorne: Locked me in a room, pushed me around, asked a bunch of questions. Your standard film noir.
Angel: (softly) I think we might have a lead on Cordy.
Lorne: You found her?
Angel: No. (Motions back to Wesley and Gunn and they shuffle closer) I overheard two guys talking about a girls with visions. Said she was cursed.
Lorne: Yikes. I don't like the sound of that.
Angel: They mentioned something about a covenant? Ah, something about performing tests on her?
Wesley: Angel, I hate to state the obvious, but we need to get out of here.
(Narwek comes up the corridor.)
Narwek: Silence. Krevlorneswath of the Deathwok clan, you and the cow-trash are not to speak.
Lorne: Ah, de-bunch your panties, Narwek.
Narwek: You - are a traitor to your home. You abandoned your life-giver, betrayed your people and now you consort with these - animals. - I will take great pleasure in watching them kill you slowly.
Angel: (quietly) They take us in separately or together?
Lorne: What?
Angel: Separately or together. Quickly. We don't have much time.
Lorne: I don't know! I've never been sentenced to death before - together?
Angel: Listen up.
Narwek: (to Guard) After that, drag the bodies to the village square. We will hang their corpses as a warning. - Prisoners! They day of judgement has arrived. Approach! The venerable monarch of Pylea, General of the Ravenous Legion, Eater of Our Enemy's Flesh, Prelate of the Sacrificial Blood Rites, and Sovereign Proconsul of Death, is prepared to pass sentence on upon you.
Angel: (quietly) One.
Narwek: (to Guards) Open the doors.
(The guards open the doors and lead the prisoners forward.)
Angel: Two.
(As they step through the doors, Angel suddenly turns and slams his shackled fists into the stomach of the nearest guard as the others also attack the guards around them. They are interrupted by a loud throat clearing, They turn to look and all of them freeze in their tracks, their eyes going wide, their mouths dropping open. They stare at - Cordelia - sitting on a throne, surrounded by courtiers, wearing a skimpy, shimmery outfit and crown.)
Cordelia: Hi, guys.
Season Two Guide
